natasha-reads

[natasha-reads]

The first time I heard her say Old habits die SCREEAAAAAAMIIIING something in me changed fundamentally and forever

just listening to the black dog isn’t enough I need to inject it into my veins

#taylor swift #the tortured poets department #TTPD

[natasha-reads]

Replace the word fanfiction with "thesis" and it still holds

writing fanfiction is just. i’m being so creative and original. i’m plagiarizing everyone by accident. i’m a genius. i’m cringe. i’m too angsty. i’m too cheesy. this is not in character. it doesn’t matter that it’s not in character because these are my characters now. i love my hobby. this is the worst possible use of my time. i’m seeking validation. i’m projecting my own personal problems onto this story and i’m barely hiding it. i know so many words and i’m using all of them wrong. im on tumblr posting about it instead of writing it.

[natasha-reads]

THIS

ttpd is like... this fucking sucked... it was my fault... fuck joe... this also fucking sucked... fuck matty... i thought i was gonna die... straight up commit me to an asylum... FUCK matty... fuck joe... no one knows me... fuck kim kardashian... i created every problem and every consequence i have to face... please see me as human... i am exposing my flaws so you see me as a real person... fuck jake gyllenhaal... if you're gonna be so up my business you better realize how fucked up my business is... also hi killatrav ily... there is nothing redeeming about this chapter of my life... hi mom ily... this ALSO fucking sucked... there may be good in the world... here is every sin i have ever committed... i was promised love and forever repeatedly and no one ever delivered... my reaction to trauma was awful... i made so many bad decisions... if you're gonna crucify me do it for good reasons... are you not entertained?

#taylor swift #ttpd #the tortured poets department

[natasha-reads]

Oh my god have y'all never heard of hyperbole. She also says she wants to kill her neighbor's wife, make sure you psychoanalyse that too

#taylor swift #the tortured poets department

[natasha-reads]

What listening to every TTPD song feels like

Fortnight

The Tortured Poets Department

My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys

Down Bad

So Long, London

But Daddy I Love Him

Fresh Out The Slammer

Florida!!!

Guilty as Sin?

Who's Afraid of Little Old Me?

I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)

loml

I Can Do It With a Broken Heart

The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived

The Alchemy

Clara Bow

#the tortured poets department #taylor swift #ts ttpd #ttpd

[natasha-reads]

TTPD has been an interesting experience for me. On first listen, I didn't really get into it. There was something about the lyrics that seemed so different from her previous words. With the emphasis on poetry, I couldn't help but make comparisons to folklore and evermore. And it's very different. TTPD seems to be more spoken word poetry while folklore and evermore seemed more lyrical poetry. It took me a few listens but I've grown to really love TTPD. The songs do sound similar but I feel like each song needs to be experienced by itself. It feels much less sonically diverse compared to her previous albums but the individual songs themselves are brilliant.

#taylor swift #the tortured poets department #tortured poets department #ttpd

[natasha-reads]

not now babe I'm listening to ttpd and imagining my blorbos in new and even more fucked up scenarios

#taylor swift #the tortured poets department #ttpd #ts ttpd

[natasha-reads]

ACOTAR has so much potential it hurts me. I can't believe the Night Court was made the "central" setting with the "central" characters when none of them have any chemistry with each other whatsoever, even platonic. Like the Night Court sounds like such a beautiful place to be in. I was (either fortunately or unfortunately) exposed to spoilers before getting through ACOMAF, I'd heard of Starfall before and I was so excited to read that part in the book. I was so excited I wrote fanfic for it before I even got to the part. And then it was just... bland. It had no impact, I can't remember for the life of me what the hell happened in Starfall. I can't believe it was hyped up so much and then it was so boring.

And the people in the Night Court have their own problems. I've complained about them enough but I want so badly to explore the other characters in the series - Lucien, Nesta, Eris. Even Tamlin. The other courts and their dynamics. I mean the Autumn Court sounds like such an interesting place to be in, maybe even the Dawn Court? Basically anything except the Night Court. I also wish we'd gotten more of the magic and the world building, but good characters are infinitely more important than good world building in this type of book. It's clearly character-driven.

And damn, I wish Rhys took part in Calanmai. I found the whole concept of Calanmai do fascinating and so hot! I would've loved to see Rhys do it as well... if he had more depth than a piece of cardboard.

This all makes me want to write my own fic honestly. A "fixed" one in my opinion. Not set in the goddamm Night Court, with the OC originally arriving at the Night Court but seeing how fucked up it is and then fucking leaving with Nesta and Lucien. And maybe Elain. I'm sorry but I can't get behind Elain. I just don't find her all that interesting. I'm also super keen to explore Eris more as a character. And my god, no more fake feminism.

#acotar #sjm books #anti sjm #anti rhysand #anti feyre #sjm critical

[natasha-reads]

When I was a kid I had the special edition of the Incredibles (fantastic movie btw) so they had behind the scenes of all the voice actors, and all the extra scenes that didn't make the final cut. They were phenomenal. I loved watching those more than the actual movie.

You know the biggest loss of the decline of physical media and the rise of streaming? DVD special features.

#the incredibles

[natasha-reads]

The most frustrating and reoccurring issue I've encountered doing research on a novel problem in genomics is there aren't any big name software tools I can just Google to find.

Every tool I've found is just the source code on Github and half of them require me to find and install various dependencies that may not even exist anymore.

#bioinformatics

[natasha-reads]

My evolution of fav character through acotar has gone something like this

First 70% of ACOTAR - Lucien

Up to 25% of ACOMAF - Rhysand

Up to 85% of ACOMAF - the fucking Suriel because everyone else sucks

#im hoping for more characterisation on Tamlin #and nesta #and cassian and azriel #holding out judgement until i read more #acotar #acomaf #a court of thorns and roses #a court of mist and fury #tamlin #rhysand #anti feysand

[natasha-reads]

Okay so I'm about 85% done with ACOMAF and I'm sorry to say my opinion of the book has deteriorated.

First, with regards to how Feysand went down - I loved the beginning. When Feyre threw a shoe at Rhys's head, I actually squealed. But as the book went on, I got less and less invested in their relationship and at this point I'm not too fussed about where it goes from here.

For one, it feels like they went straight from the banter/flirting phase to the "I love you" phase without anything in between.

Second, it seems like SJM loves reminding us at every opportunity that they're mates. Like, we get it. Enough with that. Even the whole "he waited for her for years, saw her die, saw her with another man" doesn't hit hard at all when you're seeing how Feyre keeps talking about how he's her mate every second paragraph.

I might be able to excuse this by saying that they're in their honeymoon phase, but the fact remains that it's annoying to read about. And the stuff about Rhys starts from way before. She's constantly talking about how good Rhys is, how he let's her make her own choices, blah blah. That's great and all - but don't constantly yap about it. And when I say constant, I mean it's fucking constant.

Rhys is a morally grey character - no doubt. He's done some terrible things. But I feel like Feyre and by extension SJM treat him like he has done no wrong. The only person who believes he's done wrong is Rhys himself.

Possibly another reason why Feysand doesn't feel all that powerful is because we haven't seen them do anything for each other that the other members of the Inner Circle wouldn't already do. What's special about their bond?

I also found it stupid how the Inner Circle instantly accepted Feyre as one of their own. Everything in Velaris seems too perfect - which makes it unrealistic, which in turn makes it boring. You could argue that we're talking about immortal faeries and I shouldn't look too hard for realism, but the personalities and character dynamics HAVE to be somewhat realistic. It would have been so much more interesting if Feyre had to win the Inner Circle over.

As for Rhys... well, I'm not super interested in him anymore. I think he's still pretty cool as a character, but I've lost a lot of the love I had for him.

I do plan to continue reading the series, if only to see Cassian and Azriel and Mor get some time in the spotlight. I'll also say I'm sick and tired of Feyre's POV. She has a tendency to over-describe, to over-annotate, if that makes sense. I'm hoping ACOWAR doesn't continue this trend.

One last point - in ACOTAR, the first person POV didn't feel so cumbersome. But in ACOMAF, I'm honestly desperate to leave Feyre's head. I'm sick of her.

#sjmaas #sjm books #anti sjm #acotar #acotar spoilers #acomaf #acomaf spoilers #a court of mist and fury #a court of thorns and roses #rhysand #feyre archeron

[natasha-reads]

I'd like to get something out there. I love Rhys. I really do. I've always had a thing for morally grey shadow daddies. And his character was written with some nuance and depth, so kudos to SJM for that.

But that doesn't mean I'm blind to the "problematic" things that Rhys has done. I won't be pointing them out - you know it if you read ACOMAF without an incredibly narrow minded perspective.

And because I say that I wish Tamlin's descent had been done with a little more nuance doesn't mean I'm in favor of abuse (like a certain Tumblr user implied). Me also pointing out that Rhys had done problematic things doesn't mean I think he deserves the death sentence.

Because, shockingly enough, things aren't black and white.

So let's cool it a little with the hate and the foul language. I'm happy to hear other opinions or perspectives, but let's keep it respectful, thanks.

And friendly reminder that these are just books at the end of the day.

#acomaf #a court of mist and fury #acotar #a court of thorns and roses #rhysand #tamlin

[natasha-reads]

I'm like 100 pages into ACOMAF and y'all... I can't tell you how much I love Rhys. Like this man IS SUCH A GREEN FLAG. When he notices Feyre has lost weight he literally asks her to have breakfast with him. He faces all of Tamlin's bs to save Feyre from the wedding and takes the fall for it. Yes, he's a saviour of sorts but he's also the kind of saviour that respects that Feyre knows what she wants. He's not easily defined as either good or evil.

I know Tamlin fancies himself as a protector, but Rhys was the real protector. He gave everything to protect Velaris and his people.

I love how he breaks the stereotypical "bad guy" trope because he never shies away from showing he cares, from showing his feelings. He's very open about his concern for Feyre and his affection for his inner circle.

Peak male character writing, Sarah J Maas is such a queen for giving us this man.

#rhysand #a court of thorns and roses #a court of mist and fury #acotar #acotar spoilers #acomaf

[natasha-reads]

Well, I finally finished ACOTAR.

So, defeating Amarantha didn't stretch into two books as I thought it would.

And the writing itself is great! It's been a really long time since I got back into reading and this was perfect.

My friend - my beautiful amazing friend just spoiled the next few books for me by telling me that Rhys and Feyre are mates? Bonded? Something like that? Which is why Rhys was so hellbent on helping her. It also makes sense considering how Rhys and Feyre were able to feel each other's emotions on some level, and Feyre could see through his eyes when she was dead/dying.

I feel pretty bad for Rhys (because seeing Feyre all happy with Tamlin couldn't exactly be easy) but the drama this adds is so delicious.

I will be extracting suitable revenge on my friend, though.

Feyre turning into High Fae - that I was expecting, and yes, I'm all in for our girl becoming one of the High Fae.

As for Rhys himself - every interaction makes me love him even more. And he's so delightfully... weird? Licking away tears? Who does that, Rhys? Either way, I cannot wait to see what's in store for Feyre and Rhys. Their chemistry is much better - and that has to be intentional.

I might take a break for a couple of days before starting the next book.

#acotar #acotar spoilers #tamlin #rhysand #lucien vanserra #lucien acotar #feyre archeron #feyre x rhysand

[natasha-reads]

I'm going to do a quick reaction type post as I go through the ACOTAR series, because I'm sure nobody cares but I'd like to have my own little record of my thoughts.

Right off the bat, I loved the premise. It's been a long time since I read a book that had me so invested, and I've been in a bit of a reading slump. But wow, this had me gripped.

As for the characters themselves - I love Feyre. She's pretty much how I'd design my own OC and she's complex enough to be interesting.

Elain... I'm not too fond of. It's not bad characterisation, but her character is simply one I cannot relate to. Nevertheless, she adds a depth to the books that I think is needed within the midst of Feyre and Nesta.

Coming to Nesta. She was initially my least favourite. But after Feyre returns home from Prythian, when we get a little glimpse into her characterisation, I absolutely loved her. I've always had a soft spot for women of steel.

Next - Tamlin. I always felt kind of meh about Tamlin. His personality felt a little bland, and I've never been into the strong-silent-but-shy-and-sweet once you get to know him type.

I love Lucien. Loved him immediately. He was witty and funny - and something that made me like him a lot was when he told Feyre how to trap the Suriel. That might have been interpreted as him sending her to her doom, but I loved that dynamic. It was like he was saying he respected her enough to keep herself alive. Or trusted her enough to do so. Either way, the fact that he told her what to do because she was desperate for answers means a lot.

Rhysand is... intriguing. I have a massive weakness for dark-haired villains, and Rhysand so perfectly fits that trope it's not funny. I'm trying to hold off judgement until I get to interact with his character more, but it wouldn't be a far cry to say I'm already very much obsessed with him.

Right now, I've reached the part where Feyre sneaks back into Prythian and she's searching for Tamlin after he sent her back. So let's see how things go...

I'm not sure if anyone is interested in this haha. But I had to cover a lot of points in this post. My next ones will be a little more in depth.

#acotar #tamlin #rhysand #lucien acotar #lucien vanserra #feyre archeron #elain archeron #nesta archeron

[natasha-reads]

My supervisor is asking me why I'm heading home so early how do I tell him it's because I want to get my darling Dr Ratio

#Today is the dayyyy #i cant wait for my mean smarty pants husbando #dr ratio #honkai star rail