rengoku-recovery - Tumblr blog

rengoku-recovery · 2 years

Text

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾　　☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

𝔚𝔦𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔦𝔞 𝔉𝔞𝔪𝔦𝔩𝔶 ℭ𝔯𝔢𝔰𝔱

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾　　☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

Pairing: Sanemi x Reader

Summary: Reader sells milk and cheese to the Wisteria house old lady and accidentally meets a wounded Sanemi, but he lies about his duties to gain any form of normalcy even for a little while.

Word count: 4,197

No physical description, no name.

Warnings: grief, blood.

(Photo credit @ mirshroom on Twitter)

Part Three

(Part two at the bottom)

It had been about an hour since I sat down in complete silence. The air wasn't as cold as it had been a few weeks ago, but I felt much colder now. Coming back to an empty house broke me to pieces.

My Mother was gone, she was nowhere near anymore. Even though everyone continued to tell me and shove down my throat that at least she was no longer suffering, I was not prepared. How could I be? First my Father, now her. I was completely and utterly alone.

I saw her in the birds flying free, I could see him in the meadow breaking the cracks of what was once winter and snow. They were everywhere, except with me.

I tried coming to terms with it, to find peace. But every single day, the sky was a sickly gray. The clouds were never white, everything was bleak. Nothing had life inside. I wanted to so badly spread my arms into beautiful wings and follow right behind them, to fly as far away as possible until I could reach them but every time I tried, heavy rain poured down on me.

If only I could see Sanemi, even if I could write him or communicate somehow. I needed to talk with someone so badly, I was growing desperate. Being stuck here with the leftovers of winter only made me feel colder and sink further down into this hole I didn't know I'd fallen into.

Despite all precautionary measures I went over inside my head, all the different ways I could come up with, none had a solution for me to keep the farm afloat by myself. Several people had set offers once they heard of my Mother's passing, but I couldn't let go. How could I let this place go to someone else? After my parents worked so hard to provide the best life for me and our animals, but it was getting too hard for me to mange all on my own.

Among the many offers I gathered, one stood out the most. A neighboring farm, one who's owner was quite close with my Father offered me a good amount of money. Not only that, but offered amazing care for our animals. The one thing I was most worried about was the cows, the chickens, our pig. They were family, but I couldn't care for them all alone. The Man was kind enough to let me visit my animals if I decided to take his offer.

After much thought, and lots of emotional attachment, I decided that was my best option. I had to carry on and somehow make a living. So I sat here all alone, on the eve of my departure. Night had fallen before I knew it, so I decided to make another round to check on my animals. Mostly for myself, I needed to hug them one more time. To apologize to them, to just be with them for one more moment before I had to say good bye. Before leaving the house, I placed the letter for the Man who bought my farm for him to take once morning came. I couldn't face him so I planned on leaving with my money and my things before the sunrise.

The chilly night sent shivers down my spine, but the cold was the least of my worries for now. Biding my farewell seemed far more important for now.

Slowly, I made my way around to every single one of our animals, the last bit of family I had left. Calling my chickens all by name one last time, promising them a beautiful life with their new owner. If my Father was able to trust this Man, I'm sure he'd agree to sell him the farm. I tried hard to tell myself I wasn't going to disappoint my parents for giving up the farm.

Just then I felt a pair of eyes staring at me.

I quickly locked my cows back inside, running out to find Sanemi. Allowing myself to open my arms wide and crash into him, but when my body wrapped around his, I noticed it wasn't him.

Fear kicked in quickly, so quick I didn't want to let go of him in fear. I felt the body under my arms stretch up, grow taller. Squeezing my eyes shut, I still didn't let go. No matter how awkward it moved under my embrace, I couldn't open my eyes. I couldn't face whatever was before me, under my grip. I was a coward. But a coward who wouldn't let her cows get hurt. Something seemed to crawl underneath its skin. Sending more shivers down my spine, my throat closed up, and I had to hold it down with all my might before I threw up from the way its skin moved beneath my arms.

An unusual odor rose all around me. Although I couldn't place a smell, it was sour. Dancing all over me, gripping to my clothes, tangling in my hair. It was a decaying stench that threatened once more to turn my stomach. What is this? Who is this person? I questioned in my head, still not letting go in fear of what I will encounter. The fear held me in place, the stench almost pulled me apart. And my animals began to cry out and push. I wondered if they too were afraid.

Unknowingly, I felt a sharp pain at my side. That's when I finally opened my eyes. This creature stood before me, it wasn't human. It didn't look like a man. It's twisted face, the lack of color on its skin. Just then I realized one of its claws had gotten me. He pierced my side, the blood was gushing out quickly. For a second I felt dizzy, so much so that I dropped to my knees. Unable to keep my balance, I accepted my fate. Even the stench went away.

I was crying, but I was unsure of the reason. Must be from the pain I was in. Because I was not afraid to die.

With my farm being picked up by someone with good hands, my animals were safe. I had nothing else to live for now. So I tried to relax, pain was only temporary and once this creature finished with me, I wouldn't feel a single thing. But before I knew it, the creature seemed to open its mouth, wide and whole to take a bite out of me. But it never did.

All I could feel was a familiar gust of wind and the creature's head dropped before it reached my neck. "Fuck! I was too late!" I heard Sanemi curse while he rushed to see my injury.

The loss of blood was happening so fast that I couldn't think straight. Just then I realized Sanemi was too strong. Strong enough to behead the creature in what seemed like one swift movement. I wasn't too sure if the loss of blood was making me hallucinate, but the creature seemed to be fading away, like dust in the wind. Just blowing out.

"Not you!" Under all that was happening, I heard Sanemi cry out, but he was quick to pick me up in his arms and give me a small pill. It hurt to swallow considering how dry my mouth was. But I took it anyway, he quickly wrapped a cloth around my side, tight enough for me to feel the pressure soak up my blood and help it from spilling out at the rate it had been only moments ago. Without much more to say, I couldn't register the look on his face. It all seemed blurry and hazy. But I knew he was worried. In one swift movement, he took me into his arms and held me as he got up only to take off. Part of me wanted to throw up at how fast he was running. The loss of blood must be too much if I feel him speeding up like this. No human could possibly run this fast. But I'm too worn to question it now.

I didn't really know where he was headed, not until I saw the wisteria trees and it all seemed to come together. He didn't wait for anyone to come to the door, he barged right in. The old lady, startled and confused found us in the middle of her garden.

"She's not a demon slayer, but you need to heal her. I'll pay you whatever you ask, just fix her! Please!" I could capture the desperation in his tone, he wasn't angry even if he was yelling. But I was fading away, I wasn't able to register the old lady's response because I fell under a deep slumber.

When I woke up, my eyes had trouble with the light and I was confused. "You're okay, I'm here." I heard his familiar voice call out. He sat across from me, quickly getting up to come by my side.

"What's going on? Where are my cows?" I asked in fear, remembering that one night.

"They're okay, don't worry about that. Lay down, you shouldn't use up too much strength."

My side had a familiar pain, I felt groggy. It was hard to tell how long I'd been out, but I was ready to get all my answers once and for all. He couldn't keep hiding anymore. There's no possible way he can deny me anything now, not after what happened that night.

"Sanemi, you can't lie to me anymore. I want to know." I cut to the chase. There's no point in dragging this out any longer, the elephant in the room needed to be addressed. The way he looked down made me see him in a light I hadn't. Was he nervous? Him?

I allowed him to take his time, I knew he'd talk. "It's extremely complicated, but I know I owe it to you. Especially now," he began to speak, drowning me in his story. Finally, once and for all he was letting me in.

He began by telling me what he did for a living. Although he did hunt, it wasn't animals and prey to sell in local markets. "Not a lot of people know they exist and we try to keep it that way. But you saw it, that thing wasn't human. They eat your blood, that's how they get stronger." He informed me about the different kinds of demons. About his mission. He was like an open book, it felt strange but I was relieved to finally hear more than what we'd shared since we met.

"I believe that's what got your Father. I'm almost certain in the way you described it. They won't go anywhere near wisteria, that's why this house has the wisteria tree. That's why I gave it to you as well. They only come out at night, the sunlight burns them." Thinking back to my father made me ache once again, I was lucky enough that Sanemi found me but my father had no one else.

"What about you?" I ask.

"Me? What about me?"

"Yes, are you human? Maybe I was drifting off but you ran at the speed of light, you chopped its head off with little to no effort."

He nodded. "I'm human. I'm just like you. We train to be this way, to endure pain, to become stronger and faster. To be able to go head to head with them."

My focus shifted back to my life. Hearing about his made me forget for a second that I was alone. Once he left again I'd be alone forever now. I craved people around me but I also wanted to push everyone away and make no effort to know anyone.

"So when are you going back?"

"We don't have to worry about that now, I'll be here until you're better. I promise."

I did not want to ask any further.

For the next following days while I had bed rest, I did not feel bad anymore. My wound was doing better. I was able to walk normal, to get up. The old Lady never really said much to me while I was there, but she took care of my wound. Sanemi said they only treat demon slayer since they saved this family a long time ago from demons and they wanted to pay it forward. So in return they house and take any one of them who's wounded. So maybe that's why she won't talk to me much.

He confessed he went back to check my animals, since he knew how much they meant to me. He even mentioned that he planned on going once a day until I woke up so he could check on them, but it was quickly cut short. He encountered the man who bought my farm. "He said you left some of your belongings at the farm, but he wanted to hand them to you personally." He stayed quiet, almost as if he was holding his breath. "Why'd you sell your farm? If you love your animals and your land, why give it away? I thought you and your Mother would keep the farm, spring is just around the corner."

He must've known something was up when I remained silent. But I did yearn for someone's companionship during my hard times. Out of all the very few people I know, he would definitely be the one I'd be able to trust with my feelings.

"She's not here anymore," I wanted to say much more, what she meant to me. How badly I lost myself when she took her last breath. But the tears streamed down my face faster than I could pretend they weren't there to begin with. Loneliness was my hardest and most painful affair, I had no idea what to even say anymore. But I knew I had a knot in my throat.

He quickly placed his hand over mine, sending me a warm feeling that quickly spread all over my body. It was his way of letting me know he was here for me, that he truly did care about me even if we barely knew each other. Inside me, I felt as though maybe we really were meant to be in each other's lives. If gravity seemed to pull us together, maybe this was worth giving it a shot. I'd always been more than willing to, but on his end it always felt rocky.

For a second he remains silent and then he takes his hand back. Slumping down on the seat next to my bed. Wondering what might be going on in his head is a front row seat to the ocean. It's vast, it's never ending, it's deep, but you still never know what's in it. I wondered what he could be thinking about and why it is that he is so quiet. The last thing I want is for him to feel sorry for me, but it's hard not to when you know I just lost everything and I have no where else to go. Even I felt sorry for myself. But part of me felt like he could be thinking about his own life, his own loss. What kind of pain has he had to endure? Maybe he's just as lonely as I am, but I might never know. Not the way he continues to disappear from my life and only meeting me by chance.

"I don't know why I'm still here, I kind of wish you hadn't gotten there in time." I confess, finally. The room had fallen too silent that it was beginning to choke me up.

His head bolted up and he gave me a very concerned look. Maybe I spoke without thinking about what would come next, but I was being honest.

"You can't say things like that, it's not okay. You're a lot stronger than what you give yourself credit for." The monotone sound coming out of his voice was a complete contradiction to his concerning look.

"How would you know? You hardly even know me." I was once again angry, and always for the wrong reasons. I knew I couldn't keep blaming him for things he wouldn't do or won't ever get to do.

"You are still here, fighting. You continue on, when I carried you on my back to get here, you lost blood, you were in pain. You had nothing left and you didn't give up. I don't believe it for a second that you were ready to go. And if I have to be here until you realize that, then I'll stay."

That was enough to shut me up.

For the first time since I met him, he seemed stable. Sanemi was a big mystery. I always knew he was close to leaving, but today he gave off a different vibe. I know I'll have him for longer this time. He's determined to be with me until I get better. Part of me wants to keep doing bad so he will never leave. But I understand he must.

Waking up today was different, he had a plan. Not just for his next move but for me as well. It felt nice to feel included even if it was only for a little bit. My wound was almost done healing and doing tasks wasn't painful anymore. Sanemi and I walked back to my farm, where the man awaited for me with my belongings.

I tried my hardest to tune that vision out, to not be fully aware of anything while we stopped by for my stuff. I did say hello to my animals though, I was welcome to visit them anytime and for that I was very grateful. That's the only part of this trip where I allowed myself to be fully aware and take everything in.

"You sure love those cows, huh?" He asked while I was mid embrace with one of them. Just then I realized I was so close to crying. But I held it back.

"Yea, I grew up around all my animals. They're like family." I admitted.

We didn't say a word after that. He let me say goodbye in silence until we were far away from the farm. I dared not look back otherwise I would do something stupid, like cry. And I couldn't afford that right now.

We walked for a long while and he allowed me to stop many times, still very concerned over my wound but I kept insisting saying I was okay. Which I really was, it wasn't uncomfortable anymore.

"I have to show you this place. It's not much, but I think you'll like it."

I was met with a small garden, there were flowers starting to spring and a very small apple tree. A cobblestone path leading to a small house. I never thought about what his house would look like, but for someone as lonely as he said he was, this house didn't seem to fit him at all.

"Is this your house?" I asked looking around at his tiny little garden that caught my eye since we got here.

"Yea, I don't always stop by here but I try to keep it clean when I do." He sheepishly said, looking down. But I wondered why he was shy about it. This house was so lovely and it honestly seemed inviting. He had it kept nicely and even seemed to put work in his little garden.

"It's really nice, I love your garden." I said reaching to touch the Apple tree leaves. I was in awe, this man had such a tough exterior, I would've never guessed he took time out of his day to plant flowers and adorn his entrance with different color cobble stone.

"I figured you might need a place to stay now without your farm,"

"I can't." I cut him off.

"Why? You just sold your farm, where are you gonna go?"

"Sanemi, you have been more than generous with me. I feel I already invaded you and your privacy enough. I can't accept this." I truthfully say, because I do feel that way. And he never meant to meet me a second time, certainly didn't mean to have me living in his home for the time being. I felt wrong.

"I allow this."

He didn't take his eyes away from mine, he was being sincere. I could never be able to repay him for the stuff he's done for me. A stranger who he had no intention of meeting ever again. Someone he kept stumbling across with. And yet every time he was always looking out for me.

"We weren't supposed to meet again, remember?" I ask, bringing him back for reality before I get my heart crushed again. Now I have to be on guard with my emotions. I have no one else to run back to anymore. No where to go.

"And we did, I always knew where to find you. That second time was a coincidence but I always searched for you. I was hoping I would run into you again, but I knew I couldn't. And now we're here." His voice wasn't raised, it was nice and controlled giving me a sense of serenity. But most importantly, it was sincere.

"What happens when you have to go again? I'd rather look for a place myself now and save myself all the heartache." This time I'm the one looking down, I can feel the threatening tears ready to stream down.

He inches closer to me, placing his hand at the tip of my chin. Lifting my chin slightly, he keeps his gaze steady. I feel the shivers run down my neck and I'm nervous again.

"When I go, you'll be here taking care of the house. And I'll come back and we can both take care of the house. I have missions I have to take care of, but I'll always come back to this house."

The tears finally escaped, but he was quick to cup my face before I completely crumbled down.

For the first time since my Mother's passing, I felt a sense of unity, I felt like I could possibly be safe. Be with someone and never be alone the way I had for the last few weeks.

"You promise you will be coming back?" I managed to speak, finally.

He nodded.

"You won't push me away anymore?" I asked, hoping with all my might I will finally receive an answer I liked.

"I think we're sort of a team now, you take care of me and I take care of you. I don't need to push you away anymore." He gave me a weak smile, but the tears didn't stop streaming on my end.

I didn't even have to apologize for my display of emotion, he seemed to understand and allowed me to express myself however I needed to right now.

He finally led me inside, setting my stuff on his table and attempted to show me around. The house seemed spacious and bigger once we were inside. It felt like a home despite of his tough exterior that made you think he wasn't welcoming, his home was most definitely a safe space.

"We actually have to head to the market and stock up, I only stock up when I'm here but we can just stock up now that someone will be here all the time." He smiled again. The second time today. Making me feel fuzzy inside.

I realized two things.

One, living was way more difficult than I ever imagined. It was draining, it was painful. It was all the things you didn't want to feel, and all those you did. Sometimes the bad outweighs the good and vise versa. And dying was so easy. After being close to dying, I knew he was right. I could have given up then, and I didn't. I was grasping onto anything.

And two, he wasn't going anywhere.

Once night was settling in, we sat in silence ready to cease the longest day. He insisted I take his bed, since he only had a spare room but didn't have anything there yet, he said he was okay to sleep on his couch. Said something along the lines of getting furniture for his spare room soon. But I had a request.

"Hey," I softly called out as he was about to exit the room.

He turned back to look at me and almost smiled. "Yes?"

"Would you stay here instead?" The shakes on my hands were so visible I was sure he was able to spot them from where he stood. "Here with me?" I finished my request.

It seemed forever before Sanemi made his way over to me. But he accepted.

It was awkward at first but once we both laid in silence I finally turned to face him. Unable to fall asleep but still very tired from the trip.

"You can relax, I'll be here in the morning."

And he was.

When I woke up the next morning, he laid next to me. Keeping me warm.

(Part Two)

#demon slayer #kny #hashira #kimetsu no yaiba #fanfic #sanemi x you #sanemi fluff #sanemi angst #sanemi shinazugawa #sanemi #shinazugawa #anime #writing

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rengoku-recovery · 2 years

Text

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾　　☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

𝔚𝔦𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔦𝔞 𝔉𝔞𝔪𝔦𝔩𝔶 ℭ𝔯𝔢𝔰𝔱

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾　　☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

Pairing: Sanemi x Reader

Summary: Reader sells milk and cheese to the Wisteria house old lady and accidentally meets a wounded Sanemi, but he lies about his duties to gain any form of normalcy even for a little while.

Word count: 4118

No physical description, no name

Warnings: mentions of blood and illness

Part two

________________________________________

The air was frigid, the leaves on the trees had already been weakened and blown away. I shiver as I make my way down to the barn, thinking back to our goodbye sent the shivers travel down my spine. It seemed unreal to me knowing I hadn't seen or heard from him in months. Knowing I never would again gave me a sharp and familiar pain.

Quickly gathering new hay and setting dry bedding for the cows, I made sure to give each one a reassuring hug. Mostly for my sake, the cows were alright. Their winter coat was already growing, they had been well fed, all of them were healthy. I couldn't help but feel so grateful to them. After my Father passed, I didn't think we'd make any sort of ends meet all alone, but here we were. My Mother had managed to sell so much fruit and vegetables from our crops while I milked the cows, made cheese and helped our chickens hatch eggs. We were lucky to be able to take this winter break without worries of our supplies running low. If it wasn't for my Mother falling sick, I'd say this would've been a smooth winter.

I felt selfish telling her I'd be going away a couple nights a week down to the district to work part time. I know I lied to her about getting a job with the town's healer. I was interested, I had learned a lot from her from my persistent asking about what certain things do and how to cure a wound. But that's not what I'd be doing during the night.

Close to the red light district, there were a couple bars just right before the entrance. I figured money would be decent there, in case of an emergency. I had only been there for a few nights and Mother wasn't suspecting anything. It's not that I liked to lie to her, she just wouldn't feel safe knowing I was in such a dangerous part of town. To be quite frank, I was scared myself.

My memory was good and I didn't have much trouble remembering all the kinds of alcohol we were serving. Mostly men came and filled this place up, they could be unbearable sometimes.

The night was halfway done when the men I was serving asked for another round, I carefully dropped the ice cubes in the five short glasses and filled them to the top. I hesitated to turn around when I felt a chill down my spine, followed by a pair of eyes who I assumed were angrily watching me. When I finally turned around, the men asked to close out, while another one sat down, his familiar stare made my hands tremble.

Instead of excitement, I felt anger. The way he carefully watched my every move. I was surprised he waited until I was done before he finally approached me.

"What the hell are you doing here?" The way he spoke almost sounded like a growl, it only made me nervous. But I wasn't entirely scared.

Sanemi wasn't causing a scene and for that I was grateful.

He got closer to me over the counter, his presence felt different. "Come on, I gotta talk to you." He said almost pulling me with his stare alone.

I looked toward the boy who served next to me and announced I'd be going to a small break, he nodded and continued serving while I followed right behind Sanemi.

He didn't take my hand to guide me, but he might as well have the way he mentally had a grip on me. I trailed fast behind him past the men who stood around with drinks in their hands, we passed the main doors until we were outside, that's when he finally took me by the wrist and guided me towards the back. The cold air made me shiver, it was so dry it could snow any minute now.

"I told you to be careful, I said you needed to be safe! Why are you here? I thought we made a deal!" His voice raising in anger only made me more upset, and for all the right reasons. "Why are you yelling at me? Let go!" I retorted, pulling my hand away from his grip.

He stared at me in shock, never once before did he see me angry. "You leave me, you say I'll never see you again and then you come back and have the nerve to be upset at me? I don't understand you." He stayed quiet. I could see him think through, I knew he was upset for a reason but he wasn't being clear. My body began to shake under the cold wind, I wrapped my arms around myself, rubbing myself to keep warm.

Before he spoke he stripped off his white haori, quickly placing it around my shoulders. "I'm not supposed to see you, I didn't think I would. Not here, but you still didn't tell me why you're here. This is a dangerous place, you shouldn't be here." His voice came down a few notches, but he was still upset.

"My Mother is sick, we have enough supplies and money for the winter, but she hasn't gotten any better so I figured I could work in case it gets worse. It's never wrong to be extra prepared." I finally admit, if there's one thing I don't want is pity, especially not from him. I know I can take care of my family just fine, I don't need to give anyone explanations.

"Why here? It's full of men who think unholy and are too unconscious to know when they're doing wrong. Besides, this place is still dangerous."

"This place is easy money." He shook his head when I said it, probably not liking what he heard one bit, "is that another cut on your stomach?" I attempted to shift the subject by pointing out the blood on his stomach.

He looked down at his core, if I was guessing he probably had already forgotten about the scratch while he was too distracted yelling at me. He must have some top notch pain tolerance. "I really wish you can reconsider this job. I can help you if you have an emergency, you just have to ask."

"I don't think I'd ever ask you for that."

"I wouldn't mind."

"I wouldn't ask. You forgot about the cut?" I ask once again. "Oh, no not really. I was stopping by for a drink before making the trip to the healer, that old lady sure knows how to patch me up." He finally almost chuckled. The weight on my shoulders vanished almost instantly once I felt him ease down again.

"I can wrap it for you, I know enough." The soft look on his face made me feel so warm inside. It wasn't long before he agreed to go back inside the bar for his drink. I carefully picked the nicest ice for him, even though we kissed once and I expressed what I felt towards him, he almost admitted to seeing me some type of way, we weren't acting the way we had when we said goodbye.

Part of me was so grateful that he wasn't mentioning any of that, the only reason I expressed myself that way and begged for his kiss was because he said we'd never see each other again. At least not willingly on his part, but I was embarrassed deep down.

When all I had left was to wipe down the counter, he got up and tried to help which I quickly turned down.

"So where do you live?" He asked as we started making our way outside the bar.

"My house is far, it's a long walk. When I work night shifts here this lady lends me her shed." He began to say it was smart of me not to make the trip alone during the night.

It was a short walk to her house, the shed was behind her home and it was real nice and cozy.

Being alone again with Sanemi made me so nervous, I was embarrassed thinking about how loud my heart was beating and if he could hear it, but he didn't mention anything so it was safe to assume he was either ignoring it or he really couldn't hear it at all.

He sat down, taking off his haori and my hands began to tremble at the sight of his exposed body.

"Are you hungry? I can make you something while I patch you up." I spoke, fighting the shakiness of my voice with all my might.

He shook his head, "I'd like tea if you've got it." I nodded and made my way to the cabinet, I tried to keep myself busy and focused on the water I was about to boil so I didn't stop to stare at him. But my eyes wanted to wander off and just look at him.

The water would take a couple minutes to boil, so I made my way towards him. Luckily I had the necessary things to tend his injury, with shaky hands I approached him. "What'd you do this time?" I asked, kneeling before him as I began to wipe down his wound. He didn't flinch once.

"Hunting my prey." He remained quite after that.

I continued to wipe down the blood, cleaning it off. Once I could see the wound clearly, it didn't seem to be as big as I imagined it to be. He wouldn't even need stitches this time. For that I was beyond glad.

"You don't have to act like it didn't happen, you know? You can relax a little." He finally spoke, I was left even more speechless than I had been a few minutes ago. "What's the use? You'll run off and I won't see you again, am I right?" Is all I could manage to say without getting my emotions involved. And the thing is, I wouldn't mind getting them involved, but I still could not read him. It was rough trying to decipher what kind of person he was, I wasn't sure about his next move or if he would get upset too quickly at something I said.

The gauze began to absorb his blood, I grabbed another and placed it on top making sure it would be enough for him to sleep on.

"I'm not even supposed to be here, it's not up to me." I felt as if he was excusing himself for something he didn't fully commit on telling me, only making my confusion grow. "Yea, I know. Your job doesn't allow much of anything. You don't have to remind me." So much for leaving my emotions at the door, I knew I was pushing his buttons but at this point I questioned if it really mattered.

I could hear him sigh and hesitate, from the corner of my eyes I witnessed his mouth open and close but he didn't say anything. He remained silent until I finished wrapping him up. My hands still trembling as I accidentally rubbed my hand with his stomach. His toned core sent shivers down my spine and I had to try hard and brush my thoughts away.

Without warning, he grabbed me by the shoulders. "I think I value your happiness too much to ever bring you down my path." He softly spoke, leaving me speechless and unprepared. "You hardly know me, and I hardly know you. Can't we just figure that down the road?" I questioned out loud, for my sake. For my feelings, for everything I was holding inside. I wanted him, I wanted all of it. To know him, to understand his anger and temper, to see a softer side which I knew he was hiding, to learn how to read him. But he didn't leave me any room to take a peek.

"It doesn't work like that. I can't explain it and I wouldn't expect you to understand my lifestyle. This was a mistake, I've never let my guard down." Part of me sunk when he spoke that way. It felt wrong, it stung. My heart was hurt, out of all the things he could've said, mistake was the worst possible word choice.

I felt like such a waste. I had been living on a limbo for some months, not knowing what my life was gonna be like, spending everyday with my Mother and mourning my father's death, with no sense of direction and then I see him, a hot blooded, short tempered, mad at the world boy who took my breath away without even trying. A soft brush of wind that I couldn't shake off. Why was he so complicated?

"Look, I know I'm not much but I never thought I'd be someone's mistake. None of that has been a waste of time for me, even waiting for you knowing you'd never be back, I would do it again if you allowed me to, but the only thing you're trying to do is push me away."

"You are more! Get it through your head. I cannot see you, I can't t be with you. I shouldn't be here again, you deserve more than what I could ever give you. It's not about you, you'd be miserable with me. It's fucking unfair to you!" His grip tightened on my shoulders as his voice began to pick up, the anger and selflessness was like tiny little darts aimed at my heart.

"You won't even try, you can't just say something without backup. You just came in, made me fall for you and you weren't even trying. I can take rejection, you can admit you don't feel the way I do, it would be less painful than you pretending you do." It wasn't easy to crack him, but maybe that was just it. He felt sorry for me because I fell for him and he hadn't. Maybe he just didn't want to make me feel bad about my feelings. That would explain some things.

I finally got up, unable to continue with this conversation. Simply making my way back to the stove for his tea. I stretched the time making his tea, I wasn't ready to face him again, my heart was in pain. All I wanted was to cry again, but it made me feel weak and I was drained from trying to avoid doing certain things all night. I picked a small spoon and a mug, carefully poured the water and took a deep breath before finally going back to him. It stung more than anything, to look at him and just know he wouldn't budge.

"I didn't mean to yell, it's just unfair to you." His voice was hovering just above a whisper and I knew he truly was sorry for his uncalled outburst. "It's fine. Do you want sugar?" He nodded and finally began to sip on his tea. We both sat quietly for a long time.

It was a long while before I finally got up to get more blankets from my drawer and began to set up the couch. Fluffing up my pillow and making room for him in my bed. "You can take my bed." I set two thick blankets on his lap and made my way back to the couch.

"It's fine, I can sleep on the couch. This is your place." My eyebrows furrowed in confusion. This man was almost a good foot taller than me and he expected to fit in my couch? "You're too tall, take my bed." I didn't let him object, I went behind the curtain to change into my nightwear. Slipping a warm pajama, I finally tangled up my hair and tied it at the base of my head, loosely hanging so I can comfortably sleep.

I quickly made my way back to the couch before he could take over.

"I don't know how to stop hurting you." He said as I awkwardly went under the covers. "I want you to at least know that before I leave." He didn't move, he remained seated in that chair. "You could stop pretending you felt the same way I did, I assure you it will help me a lot." I confessed.

Sanemi set his cup of tea on the table, got up and set his blankets on the bed before he slowly made his way to sit by me on the couch. I hugged my knees bracing myself for maybe another argument with him. "I wasn't pretending. I just can't admit my feelings for you. That would make it more real, and we can't move forward." My heart stopped. It really skipped a whole beat.

"I must go. You can tell me again, if there's anything from me you want, if there's anyway we can say goodbye and you won't hurt as much. Something that will allow you to peacefully close this chapter and move on freely. You can tell me now." I had to carefully chose my request. I couldn't speak without thinking.

We both looked at each other, I was close enough to see his face under the candle lights, the natural glow reflecting on his face, oh how warm he made me feel.

"Just give me one night. Let me keep this memory, let me be with you for only a moment. Let me have that memory." He looked at me puzzled, questioning my request.

I came up from under the covers and inched myself closer to him. I wasn't even sure where to begin, but I let my body lead me. Before I knew it I was trying to burry myself in his arms. "Is this okay?" I asked. He was laying still, uncertain of his moves and I wondered if he'd ever been this close to anyone before. Probably not. I burried my face in the crook of his neck, carefully wrapping my arms around his torso. He remained frozen for a while. His first attempt at anything was only to pull a blanket over our bodies. Finally placing his hand on my head, awkwardly digging his fingers into my hair. The simple gesture bringing me to tears.

His hand stopped.

"I'm okay, this is fine. Just let me keep this memory with me." He continued to massage my head until he picked up a rhythm with his fingers and was able to play with my hair with ease. While I enjoyed this very much, it was making me sleepy. I was fighting it off with all my might hoping I could enjoy every bit of it.

Slumber eventually took me under.

The next morning when I woke up, his fingers were still tangled in my hair. My heart almost stopped when I realized we were still here, together. Tangled with each other's arms and legs and keeping each other warm. I almost didn't dare to breathe so I could keep this moment for just a bit longer, but he sensed me right away.

"This is what you wanted?" He asked with a smile trying to peek at the corner of his lips.

I could only burry my head in his chest in response. I needed this moment to stretch out as far as possible so I can keep living in it.

Maybe he was expecting something more, maybe he wasn't expecting anything at all. But this is what I wanted and he gave me all the freedom in the world even if I knew it was most definitely against his own reasons. Part of me felt like maybe he actually did like me if he was willing to allow me this much.

"Thank you, I know you don't want any of this and you won't allow yourself anything of the sort." I spoke softly into his chest, hoping to hear something back, but he remained silent.

"I must go, you know."

"I know."

We both let silence consume us for a second, neither one of us in a rush to get up.

"You never told me," I began, thinking back to that time I last saw him. "Why were you opening your wound? Why do you like to hurt yourself?"

I can feel his body tense up after my question. It was distasteful enough to make him pull away and finally get up, leaving me behind in the couch.

"This is why I can't do this, I have to go now."

"You didn't answer me, don't I deserve answers at least? Before you leave?" For some reason, tears were threatening to spill once again, but I didn't want to let them escape, if I can blink them away, it's almost as if they were never there.

He faced me again, "I should've only been there over night, but you came back the next day. You are so different from anything I've had in my life and I don't allow myself anything good." He finally cracked, I could tell he was finally going to tell me what I have been waiting to hear. "I wanted to see you too, so I opened up my wound to stay one more day until it was a couple days and I knew I had to leave before I hurt you. My life is too dangerous to drag you down. You deserve to live and have a life of your own, I can't give you that no matter how we slice it." The silence that followed make me ache for him even while he stood two feet away from me.

Part of me wanted to spill my heart out again, but the other part already knew he was too selfless to stay here with me. No matter how hard I tried, I'd never be able to make him stay. And when I did manage to make him stay even for a few days, he was hurting himself on purpose. There was no way around it and I knew it. He knew it, we just kept hurting each other in attempt to get just one more taste of this, whatever it was.

"I can't see you anymore?" I asked hoping last night changed his mind. Even when I had already decided I knew the answer. He shook his head.

"Can I at least kiss you?"

"We can't see each other anymore. And if you kiss me now, I'll never be able to leave. I have to leave."

My mind was foggy, it was unable to grasp everything happening around us.

"Part of me will always be waiting for you, in case I hadn't made it clear before."

"I'm not asking you for that, I'm not even sure of my own future." His voice broke slightly, allowing me to see yet another crack into his soul.

My body was finally strong enough to stand, I made my way and followed right behind him. For some reason I began to circle around him, due to how nervous and uneasy I was.

"You didn't have to ask me, I just wanted you to know."

"Thanks for the tea, good bye."

This time I didn't cry, I knew I could hold it all until he was gone.

"Good bye."

Sanemi didn't allow us to kiss, but he embraced me one last time. And it was more than I could hope for. I felt so safe in his arms and he was being ripped away from me once again.

"Take care, I'll still be looking over you even when you can't see me."

In a matter of moments, he had already walked out. I was begging myself not to search for him tomorrow. Not to wait, not to expect anything. What happened last night was coincidence. He wasn't supposed to see me again. It was by chance and that was it. The hardest part was to convince myself not to search for him in everyone I'd meet in the future.

After tidying up the place and getting my stuff ready to go see my Mother, I embarked on the journey to be home before noon. Surely Mother will be waiting for me.

The long walk and frigid air helped me keep my composure, I was able to blame the cold wind hitting my face for the tears that were forming in my eyes.

Getting home wasn't any relief. The state Mother was in only kept going downhill. But it was all a blur.

One minute I'm telling myself I can't go back down to the district for work tonight, and I'm rushing to keep my Mother warm. The next I'm worried about her breathing. It was a mistake to leave her alone in this condition.

A/N: Here’s part two. I hope you people are enjoying this. I’m having a hard time posting more regularly due to my job and school but I’m really enjoying this and I hope you are too 🖤

(Part One) & (PART 3)

#demon slayer #kny #hashira #kimetsu no yaiba #anime #sanemi shinazugawa #sanemi x you #sanemi fluff #sanemi x reader #sanemi angst

142 notes · View notes

rengoku-recovery · 2 years

Text

okay but poor Aoi her skeleton was probably still rattling for an hour after Uzui smacked her lil booty 😭

✿ : annoying sex habits; pillars

synopsis: annoying (?) things that come up when you have sex with your respective hashira

pairings: tomioka giyuu x f!reader, shinazugawa sanemi x f!reader, rengoku kyojuro x f!reader, uzui tengen x f!reader, iguro obanai x f!reader, himejima gyomei x f!reader

warnings: minors dni, explicit smut, rough sex, cursing, no beta

notes: slander, just slander. and crack. i apologize for spelling/grammatical errors !

GIYUU:

awkwardly quiet from start to finish

like damn, mf, not even a grunt? A GASP? 😭

his breathing doesn’t even pick up

he’s just silently hovering above, swiftly thrusting into you

even when he cums—NOTHING!!

LIKE CAN YOU AT LEAST SIGH??

and to top it off, after he cums he just sorta rolls over and pets you on the head? like he wants to smooth your hair back but he’s too afraid to commit??? like he wasn’t all up in your guts like two seconds ago?? ✋😐

you genuinely have no clue if he’s enjoying himself or not

you have to sit him down and admit to him that you feel a lil insecure because he doesn’t seem to be enjoying himself

giyuu feels TERRIBLE because he loves you deeply and is affected by you sm but he just can’t stand hearing himself moaning

his moans are kinda high-pitched, almost keening, and it’s so embarrassing to him

to YOU, giyuu, not to us 😫

“i...sound...weird” is all he says, frowning in the complete opposite direction from you

he slipped up once tho and y’all weren’t even having sex

you were straddling his lap, both fully clothed, kissing each other fervently, after he’d return to his estate after a very long mission

he was already feeling a little frayed from not seeing you for so long

so that with the way your grinding down against his bulging cock, mewling and moaning as you plant sloppy kisses against his mouth, his cheeks, the neck; sighing “missed you, missed you so much” into his ear

he starts to feel himself unravel at a rate that concerns him, you feel so good and sound so sweet —it’s all too much for him

his breathing kinda stutters, but you’re too engrossed to notice

giyuu is like “nope, nuh uh, absolutely not” as he tries to gather himself together, blinking away the white spots in his vision

but then you drag your crotch against his clothed cock so good, so deliciously that he can’t help the shaky, high pitched moan that escapes from his lips

you glance up at him in shock while he shuts his eyes and hangs his head in shame

“wait...wait, giyuu did you—”

“stop”

“no wait! that was so hot!”

almost kicks you out of his room 😭

like i’m sorry, it’d take a while for him to actually let loose but at least he’s sorta sighing into your ear now? 😅

SANEMI:

talks a huge f*cking game about how big his cock is and how he’s gonna tear your sh*t up

bitch...we weren’t being LITERAL

he’s actually thrusting into you like he wants to square up with your cervix

LIKE BRO RELAX???

i do think sanemi enjoys rougher sex but sometimes i think it’s a lil performative

i also think he feels that he needs to overcompensate bc he thinks he’s not as experienced

y’all he canonically has a pet rhinoceros beetle,,,he ain’t as big and bad as he seems💀

also he doesn’t know how to be truly intimate with anyone but we can get into that later

BUT ANYWAYS!

no foreplay, just dives into the pussy

literally throws you onto the bed, sucks at you neck for a bit and then all of sudden you hear a “hpwuah! 💦”

and you sit up like “ikyfl” just to see he’s spat onto the shaft of his cock, pumping his fist along his shaft to spread the saliva

babe that’s when you should’ve sat up and left 😟

HIS COCK IS TOO FCKIN THICK AND BIG TO BE DOIN STUPID SH*T LIKE THAT

between the lack of foreplay and the way he’s just slamming his hips into yours...you are in PAINNN

and he keeps grunting shit like “yeah, you like that? gonna tear your f* ckin uterus into half” WHAT?(???$;@3&:

you slam your fists against his chest and choke out a “sanemi, stop”

he stills instantly, panting as his facial expression morphs into one of confusion and concern

“what’s wrong?” he asks gruffly, gently placing his hand on your arm and giving you a tiny squeeze there

once you tell him that he’s hurting you way more than you’d like, he’d feel bad almost immediately

sanemi sits back, his shoulders tense with shame and he gives a terse, “sorry “

willing to learn but y’all might argue here and there bc he refuses to believe that he isn’t the pussy destroyer he claims to be

KYOJURO

okay he’s actually got the mechanics down

has no problem pleasuring you/making you cum

HOWEVER!

HE’S LIKE MFIN DRILL SERGEANT

like y’all can’t have sex leisurely 😭

and it’s not so much a sexual thing as it is that kyojuro just wants you to be the best version of yourself possible,,,in every aspect of your life 😐

it starts off as like kyojuro being like “ONE MORE ROUND!” and you thought it was hot that his stamina was through the roof

but then it quickly turns into “omg WHEN DOES THIS END?!’cc”

you’ve been bouncing on his cock FOR GOD KNOWS HOW LONG trying to get him to cum

but you’re tiring quickly, your thighs burning as they tremble against kyojuro’s waist

you’re place your hands on his lower stomach for SOME sort of stability as your hips stutter

kyojuro feels you tremble against him and from the way you’re panting, he knows it’s from exhaustion

he has his hands on your waist to help you keep balance, but he isn’t assisting you 💀he wants you to work for it

you’re sweaty af, struggling to lift your hips off his cock as you pout up at him

“i-i’m getting tired, kyojuro—”

“you are? but it’s only been sixteen minutes?” he smiles up at you, face flushed as his hair spills around the pillow.

“i’m not fit like you” you pant, face screwed up as your calves begin to cramp up.

kyojuro’s face falls slightly “ah, don’t say that! you’re just as fit! here, let’s try for ten more minutes, i believe in you! 🏋️ 😃”

and he looks up at you so earnestly,,,you’re like “godDAMNIT”

he holds both of your hands in his to keep you balanced and he literally starts shouting encouragements at you jskziwkuss

shouts a variation of like “try harder!” and “7 more minutes! you can do this!”

MF, NO I CAN’T 🧎🏾‍♀️😭

you know when you’re doing an intense workout and you get so tired your life flashes before your eyes? YEAH,,,YOU ARE DYINGGGG RN

of course you don’t complete the full 10 minutes but kyojuro doesn’t get on your ass completely about it

he just flips your listless body over and adjusts himself before he starts slowly thrusting into you

“don’t worry, my love! all that matters is that you tried! i’m sure you can do it next time!” he beams down at your whimpering form, before kissing your forehead

he’s cute but LIKE WHY DOES SEX HAVE TO BE A MFIN WORKOUT?? ✋😭

you have to tell him that you’re down to workout with him (RIP to you 💀) OUTSIDE the bedroom but you want sex with him to be slow paced and intimate...not him yelling at you like he’s your coach

he’ll ease up immediately, don’t worry!

OBANAI

mf said “the snake stays ON during sex! 😤💯”

no i’m not

obanai is like “can kaburamaru stay in the room? 😐”

and you’re like “i—um, that would be cool but i feel like he’d be uncomfortable”

and he’s like “omg ur right...i wouldn’t want to watch him have sex either i guess 😕”

so y’all have to PLAN AHEAD TO FIND A BABYSITTER FOR HIS SNAKE IF YALL WANNA— 🤦🏾‍♀️

obanai thinks of kaburamaru as a friend, not so much as a pet so he’s feel guilty for “abandoning” him because he has a S/O now

that’s his mfin bestie 😌

okay real talk, obanai loves you, he is bewitched, body and soul—

maybe a bit TOO much because he’ll literally cum during foreplay and then pass out right after 🙁

HKSHDIDJEI HE CAN’T HELP IT!!

he tries to continue after cumming, but it’s like he’s been drugged

his eyes are struggling to stay open, barely holding himself up as he keeps slurring on his words, like omg baby,,,just sleep, it’s okay

he tries tries tries to make you cum before he finishes, BUT EVERYTHING YOU DO GETS HIS COCK ROCKHARD

obanai was laying between your legs, lip suctioned around your clit, dragging his tongue over the little nub

all while he’s languidly thrusting two fingers in and out your slick pussy

and baby his head game is *CHEF KISS*

you’re mewling and whining, grinding your hips against his face as he laps his tongue up and down your folds

the sounds your making, the taste of your cunt, the way he can feel you throbbing against his mouth—it has HIM trembling and whimpering

he’s unconsciously rutting his hips against the mattress, squeezing his eyes shut as he attempts to control himself

but then you make this sound that’s caught between a whimper and grunt, and it catches so prettily in the back of your throat—

he blows his load, unbeknownst to you, as gasps against your heat

he literally knocks out between your legs, with his mouth smushed against your pussy 💀

TENGEN

not a single f*cking thing

look at that man and tell me he doesn’t give you the best pipe of your life

okay wait actually there maybe ONE THING ☝️

he talks wayyyy too fucking much during sex

and it’s mostly outlandish sh*t

okay, when he asked “whose pussy is this? 😩” it was all fine and dandy BUT THEN HE TAKES IT UP A NOTCH—

“you’d die by this dick, huh 😏”

my pride won’t let me say yes, but yes...i would 🧎🏾‍♀️

like he says the most strange sh*t ever and it draws you out of the sex head space to be like “...WAIT WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?”

he does it on purpose though 💀

he’s lining himself up to your entrance and he looks up at you smirking and is all like “im gonna make you a single mother”

AYOO???? 😭

BITCH.WHAT.THE.FUCK??!!

you literally shoot up, scrunching your legs up to your chest

while he laughs at your horrified look

BRO DON’T PLAY LIKE THAT 😭

that and i feel like he’s so fckin heavy handed omg

slaps your ass while you’re riding him and your whole skeleton rattles for like 5 minutes after 😭

yeah other than that...there is no way he’d be bad at sex

GYOMEI

very...very...gentle

he’s genuinely afraid of hurting you during sex

like he’s so MASSIVE and he’s convinced there is no way you can take all of him

he feels the way your pussy barely accommodates two of his fingers and he’s like “hm maybe not...🥲”

when he’s fingering you, he just barely squirms his fingers around while he winces in fear that he’s hurting you

you tell him “gyomei, go harder”

and he’s like “no”

!;&;&/&/7,$;7)/)/

and you’re like “but i barely feel you moving?”

and he’s like “trust me this is for your own good”

YOU DON’T KNOW MY LIFE!

when he finally finally agrees to f*ck you with his cock, the whole process takes almost three hours because he takes his time lubing you up and stretching you out with his fingers

it takes him the whole last hour to actually bottom out just from out how slow he’s easing into you

and everytime your breath catches in your throat, he slides his cock from out of your pussy and he’s like “ahh, i knew this was a bad idea!”

and then y’all have to start all over again

he can barely feel you squeeze around his cock from just how you’re stretched around him and he starts to freak out

you have to assure him that he’s not hurting you so he doesn’t pull out again

he’s so sweet tho 🥺

#kny #demon slayer #uzui tengen #aoi kanzaki #red light district #demon slayer s2

12K notes · View notes

rengoku-recovery · 2 years

Text

͙⁺˚*･༓☾　　☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

𝔚𝔦𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔦𝔞 𝔉𝔞𝔪𝔦𝔩𝔶 ℭ𝔯𝔢𝔰𝔱

⁺˚*･༓☾　　☽༓･*˚⁺

Pairing: Sanemi x Reader

Summary: Reader sells milk and cheese to the Wisteria house old lady and accidentally meets a wounded Sanemi, but he lies about his duties to gain any form of normalcy even for a little while.

Word count: 3,699

Gender Neutral (subject to change), no physical description, no name.

Warnings; blood, mentions of death

———————————————————

Shortly after milking my cow, making sure to get just enough milk for the orders to be delivered today, I caught a glimpse of my Mother already packing up the cheese she so carefully made for me to deliver as well.

The beam of light the sun was radiating this morning felt slightly warmer than usual, not like those unbearable hot days of the summer. Just welcoming, almost identical to the embrace of someone you’ve been longing for.

The journey around town was a short one, there was far more things to get done at the farm and by noon I was back at home helping my Mother with the crops. Only she hadn’t noticed when I arrived. She seemed so tired, but it was beyond physical. The loss of my Father had made us find strengths we hadn’t yet developed. It made us grow a stronger bond which we did not share before his absence. Wild animals were known to lurk around the woods, but I’d never imagine one of them would take my Father down. The strongest man I knew, he’d been taken down by a wild beast and we couldn’t dwell on his early departure. We had to keep the farm afloat and move on.

“Got time for one more?” My Mother called out, snapping me out of my own thoughts.

I quickly made my way towards her to find the two baskets of freshly made cheese and jugs of milk. “Where to?” I asked already taking them under my wing, leading them over to the chariot on my bike.

“The old lady by the mountain, looks like she has visitors again. I’ll be down at the market, I’ve got baskets of strawberries to sell.”

On my way towards to the mountain I mentally asked myself about how badly I wanted this day to end. Although it seemed like such a beautiful day I couldn’t bring myself to enjoy it fully. I couldn’t commit. Even when the clouds looked to be extra puffy and the skies were an unrealistic shade of blue.

The sharp pain on my cheek bone almost made me lose control of my bike. Just as I approached the old lady’s house, a strange man stood outside kicking rocks. One, unfortunately made its way to my cheek. “Watch where you’re kicking those.” I called out to him, but it wasn’t enough for him to look back at me, in fact he continued to kick rocks. That’s when I noticed the blood dripping down his arm and a gash by his exposed stomach, however it didn’t seem to bleed out the way his arm was.

I leaned my bike on the door and made my way towards him, “Are you okay? Here,” I began to wrap a cloth from the basket of cheese, but he quickly pulled away.

“I don’t need your help. I’m upset I even have to stop here in the first place.” Taking a few steps away from me, he began to make his way towards the door.

I walked back to push my bike through the entrance, at first he wanted to object me coming inside but shook his head and let me inside anyway. We were met with the old lady and two of her healers.

They quickly led the white haired boy to a room and I was left alone with the old lady. She never spoke much, which I never minded but today I wanted her to. I wanted to ask about the boy. Although he seemed bothered, I was curious about him. Especially about his injuries.

I began unloading at her kitchen, trying to find the words I could say to her to begin some sort of conversation. “You get plenty of visitors, where’s he from?” I finally managed to ask.

The old lady didn’t really say much, only that she didn’t question her patients. I decided to leave it at that. So I offered to help her with anything else she might need. Part of me felt as though she was getting annoyed. But after some minutes, she finally gave in. Gave me a plate of onigiri, telling me I could take them over to the white haired boy while she finished cooking his meal.

I hesitated no more, I took the plate and made my way to the room which they had led him to moments before. Upon arriving, I noticed he had been stripped off his clothes and given some clean ones. “You must be hungry, she’s finishing up but I brought you these.” I kept walking closer to him, trying to tell myself to stand my ground since he seemed stubborn since I first spoke to him.

He didn’t seem to be much of a talker, starting conversation with him was rough. But I must’ve said something that caught his attention.

He finally faced me, I was just curious to find about his injuries. Maybe he had encountered an animal like the one my Father had. Maybe he had gotten lucky, all I wanted was to ask if he had seen what kind it was, if there was more. But looking into his eyes made me feel numb for a second. My heart stopped beating, it felt as if everything around me began to spin, a dizzy but enjoyable state. The scars on his face made him look more attractive than he already was, for the first time in my life I wanted to go and caress a strangers face. The look he was giving me wasn’t supposed to be welcoming and yet I felt like I belonged. His purple eyes were the only thing helping me stay balanced. I don’t think he noticed how smushed I was feeling, and it was probably for the best.

Looking into his eyes made me unable to catch what he said to me. But he didn’t give me much time to recover, he was already throwing a tantrum. He was full of anger, he never said why.

Without saying a word, I walked back to my bike and grabbed the only small basket of strawberries I’d taken from my Mother. There was a smile on my face I couldn’t hide, but it didn’t matter. When I came back into the room he had already finished all the onigiri, I held the strawberry basket in front of him.

“Your job must be exhausting, you could use something sweet.” I wasn’t sure what he did anyway, but I knew he probably wouldn’t tell me. He was full of mystery and for the first time, I wanted to know it all. He was intriguing, and I was dying to know about him.

Surprisingly, he took the basket. Didn’t say a word before turning around. I quietly excused myself and walked outside. I was so curious I knew I’d be back here again tomorrow.

•

It didn’t take too long for us to actually start a conversation. Looking back at the first meeting and remembering just how stubborn and hot headed that boy was made me feel as if I had just met a completely new one in the span on three days. One thing I liked about him was how subtle he could be with the way he acted towards me and with me. One thing I cherish is that little gift of a little wisteria leaf he has wrapped around the handle of my bike without failure for the last 3 days.

Sanemi was a strange person. He didn’t talk about much, he never truly said much. It was always me. But he listened. And despite every single attempt I made at asking more about him, he never budged.

“Your family just works your farm then?” He finally asked a question.

I couldn’t help but look at him for a few seconds, “Its just my Mother and I. My Father was attacked by some animal in the woods some months ago. But we’ve been doing just fine.” I wondered about his family, about his siblings, his parents. I wondered if he was alone or if he even had friends. But I couldn’t read him.

He grew silent, I could feel the tension building up between us, but I wasn’t sure for what reason. “I uh-“ he stuttered for a second before finishing, “I’m not from around here, I travel and hunt. Wild animals, I sell them in the markets.” He didn’t seem too sincere, but I didn’t question him. I was aware he hunted, I just never imagined he would sell his prey.

“You have any more of those strawberries?” A quiet smile formed slightly at the corner of his lips. It sent butterflies down my stomach. Seeing that small gesture on his face made me feel as if I had just been kissed by beauty.

I went back to my bike and took the small basket of strawberries I had specifically picked out for him.

The rest of the afternoon we spent it quietly nibbling on strawberries. But I couldn’t help but notice his injury wasn’t getting any better.

I’m no doctor, but even I know his abdomen shouldn’t be bleeding anymore. On top of all those bandages I could see blood stains.

“Is your stomach okay? I feel like it should’ve made progress by now.” He looked stunned, but ignored my question.

The thing about Sanemi was that he had a temper, and angering him wasn’t a goal of mine. I didn’t want to upset him but I also didn’t like to worry about his injury.

“You should go home, before it gets dark.” He gently spoke while he stood up. I watched him reach for the wisteria flower and carefully tie it around the handle of my bike. The way his fingers moved around the knots and the concentration he never broke while making sure his hands didn’t destroy the flower was mesmerizing.

I bid my good bye and began to make my way home. I had only just left when I forgot to give him the extra basket of strawberries I had forgotten about so he could have while I was at home. But instead I caught him stretching the cut on his stomach.

“What are you doing?” I asked surprised. Already grabbing the bandages and holding them up to his once again opened wound.

“Why’d you come back?” He spat.

“I asked you first, you’re hurting yourself.”

“Leave it alone. You have to go home now.”

I couldn’t understand him. He had many layers, and I couldn’t read a single one. I was saddened by the sight before me, why would he want to make his injury worse?

“I’ll see you tomorrow, but you should really take better care of yourself.” I didn’t wait for him to object, I had to get some sort of answer in the morning.

When morning came and the sun began to show its first sign of life, I had already been up milking my cows, picking out vegetables and fruit, I had even prepared baskets for my Mother to sell down by the market. I was almost done with my duties all because I couldn’t sleep thinking about Sanemi opening his wound. I couldn’t wait to go and see him to ask him for real. To know why he was doing such a thing.

After setting up everything with my Mother at the market I quickly lied about delivering fruit and milk over to the old lady, she never questioned it. Just like the other four days of me sneaking out.

I rode my bike as fast as I could, but he wasn’t there. He had just walked out, the healers pointed me in the direction he took off and I hoped he’d be walking down that path.

“He only left a few minutes ago, you’re sure to catch him.” One of them encouraged me, and so I took off.

The anticipation was killing me, I began to pedal hard and fast, trying to control my breathing all at the same time. And just when I was beginning to lose hope, I saw his white hair shining under the sunlight.

“Sanemi!” I yelled, he turned back at me surprised. But he stopped, at first he didn’t move, but after a few agonizing seconds, he began to make his way towards me.

“Why are you following me?” He was mad, but he didn’t yell. I knew he must be upset.

“You left without saying good bye,” I could barely catch my breath, I was panting.

He looked down, but I couldn’t tell if he was ashamed.

“This isn’t good. I can’t see you anymore, I’m a bad person.” He was whispering now, and my heart was slowly being stepped on.

I know a couple days is not enough to fall for someone and I didn’t. But I was allowing myself to do so, to be in a trance when he looked at me, to appreciate the beauty in his face, the scars adorning his body that made him desirable, cracking just a tiny bit of his hard shell. I had never allowed myself that, and now that I had, it hurt.

It hurt bad.

Somehow this silence made me understand him more in ways our words never had before.

“Why?”

He began to step closer to me, inch by inch he began to close the gap between us. He stopped once he was painfully close. The heat that began to creep on my face made me look down so he wouldn’t notice, or so I thought. His hand touched my face and I could feel myself melting into it. He made me look up at him again.

“I’m dangerous to be around, it’s better if you’re far away from me. I can’t explain it, you just have to listen.” His voice was tender and soft, not like I had ever heard from him before. He sounded different than all those times we spoke.

“But we were just getting to know each other, you want me to believe that it hasn’t meant a single thing to you?” For some strange reason my eyes wanted to water, but I couldn’t let them. Not here, not now.

He licked his lips and stared me down. It seemed like ages passed, with his eyes glued on mine, his hand still holding my face and our breathing had finally settled, until he finally spoke again. “My job doesn’t allow me to stay in one place for too long. I’ll watch over you, I promise. I just can’t offer you anything else.”

“That’s selfish, we could try and find a way to make something work. You said things had solutions, people were just too distracted to make them work. I’m not distracted and neither are you.” With all my might, I willed my eyes to stop themselves from letting any tears slip. I couldn’t cry, I wanted him to see I was strong. That I can handle myself accordingly. But inside I was breaking.

“I shouldn’t have allowed you to get too close, I apologize. But I have to go. You won’t see me but I’ll make sure you’re always okay.”

“You won’t be back?” I asked, this time I was going deaf with the sound of my heart shattering into a million pieces. They fell and shattered once again, the sound was similar to glass breaking. Only it was so loud inside my head, I couldn’t tune it out.

He shook his head.

“Is there anything I can do to make you stay?” I begged, I had never wanted something so bad in my life.

He shook his head again. I could not hold the tears inside any longer. Sanemi was quick to wipe the first one away, giving me a soft look and apologizing with his gaze.

“Can I ask you something?” My words barely audible.

“Go ahead.”

“Can you kiss me goodbye?”

He stood there silently, without moving a muscle. Just looking at me. I couldn’t read his expression, he wasn’t one to have more than anger and annoyance written on his face most the time. But I could feel he didn’t feel that way around me these last couple of days. Something sparked, something happened. He didn’t see me the same way he did that first day. Wether it was my persistence in knowing him, or just the fact that I saw him differently that most people normally did.

The reality was hard to swallow. Not like Sanemi would ever show his true feelings towards it, but most people probably didn’t dare to stick around to find out who he really was. And maybe that’s why he accepted me. Because most people hadn’t and he wouldn’t give them a chance to, but I didn’t let it go.

Here we were, completely opposite characters. Full of rage and annoyed, mad at the world and I on the other hand, I was full of life. My nature was always to look on the bright side, I was enthused but every little thing. And somehow we were here right now, contemplating what was to happen next.

And yet he still didn’t move.

“Please!” I begged, my heart slowly breaking with every second that passed. I’d never had a kiss before, I wasn’t even sure what it would feel like. But I wanted his, I wanted it badly.

I could feel the tears streaming down my cheeks now, I had finally cracked.

“I can’t.” He whispered. “Why not?” I can barely breathe when I ask, but he doesn’t answer right away. He takes me by the shoulders, his eyes never once untangling themselves from my gaze.

“I can’t explain it,” the look on his eyes softened once more, then he added, “I would if I could, but it’s better off this way. You’ll be better off without me.”

“You can’t make choices for me,” I blurted, my voice breaking from beginning to end, but it didn’t matter now, “only I can do that.” There was no use for waiting on his answer, he will only object again. “Sometimes doing something that will hurt in the moment can hurt less in the long run. If I never see you again, wouldn’t you at least want to know?”

“Know what?” He asked quietly, I figured he wanted to keep his cool and not lash out on me for pushing it. “What this feels like, I’ll never see you again and if I can take one thing with me, why can’t it be that?” My pleas made me feel like a small child, it was humiliating if I was being honest.

I was growing upset, for all the wrong reasons maybe. But I didn’t want to dwell on this forever. I didn’t want to look back and have all the regrets in the world. But then again, part of me felt wrong. I can’t be upset at him for something he hasn’t done and probably won’t do. I also didn’t want to make him feel pressured.

“Never mind, forget it.” I finally said.

“There’s certain things I can’t cross. This is your world.” The hint of sadness in his voice made me break once more, “It’s your world, too.” The grip he had on my shoulders tightened. A reassuring squeeze, but it was truly the only thing holding me from completely falling apart.

I was just about to tell him how he had choices and whatever reason was holding him back from fully living could wait, but I was finally met with his lips. They felt a lot warmer than I had allowed myself to imagine, his body leaning down to meet mine, the way his hands traveled to the base of my head. I hadn’t even noticed my hands pressing on his chest before my right hand reached for his face, placing his ear between my fingers and fingering the strands of hair just above his ear.

Eventually, we pulled back.

He looked different, he had very few expressions but I had never seen the one before me. “If this is the only thing you can take and you promise you won’t hurt, then it’s all yours.” Our hands met in the middle, his cupping mine tightly.

“Can I just look at you real good before you go? I want to remember your face.” The truth was, my vision was so blurred from the tears, I couldn’t actually make him out as clear as I would like to, but the kiss was addictive.

Instead of getting the closure I begged for, my body yearned for more.

“Alright, I think I have the picture in my mind.”

He gently brought my hands towards his lips, gave them a soft kiss. A gesture I wasn’t aware this rough man could be capable of. In turn this made me ache more, thinking about all the things I could’ve known, but won’t get the chance to.

“Take care, I’ll always be watching over you even if you can’t see me.” He reached into his pocket and placed a small organza baggie in my palm, “Never go out at night without this. If I can’t always be there to watch you, this will protect you.” The tears were ready to spill again.

“Good bye.” I stood on my toes and reached for his neck, pulling him in for our first and last embrace. The way he took in the smell of my hair made me breakdown knowing that’s all he could take from me now. So I tried to do the same.

“Good bye.” He said finally as he pulled away. He took his time to gather himself again before finally walking away from me.

“If you ever need strawberries, you know where to find them.” I yelled, giving one last attempt at his return.

He turned back and gave me a smile, I couldn’t see it but I knew it was there. With a small wave, he turned and continued to walk. This time he didn’t stop.

I allowed myself to cry fully once I could only see his silhouette as a tiny speck in the distance. And when the tears streamed, it took a long time before they stopped.

—————————-—————————————————

Part two

A/N: My first time writing on here, this was a bit lengthy but if we’re being honest, cracking down Sanemi wouldn’t be easy. I hope you people enjoy, if anyone is interested in a second part I’d be more than happy to continue this one, it was meant to be a short one shot, but there might be potential for a second part. Any constructive criticism is welcome. 🖤

#demon slayer #kimetsu no yaiba #hashira #kny #writing #anime #fiction #sanemi x you #sanemi x reader #sanemi shinazugawa #sanemi imagines #sanemi #shinazugawa #sanemi one shot #sanemi angst #sanemi fluff #wisteria kny

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