lingering on the thought of nel being in the hazbin hotel with alastor for more than five seconds tickles me so much because all i can think about is just How she got there
because it does seem to me she has no interest in being there so the conclusion my head comes to is that right after the pilot alastor immediately just rockets across the whole city at mac 20 to drag a Very Disoriented Nel back to the hotel
all the while yapping her ear off about some Fascinating New Project he has so Graciously lent his Services to.
None of which actually registers in poor nel's mind at first because it just so happened that she got whisked away while she was in the middle of giving her lunch order to a particularly hard of hearing waiter
the prospect just tickles me so much theyr so silly
THIS IS FOR FUN ONLY AND NOT CANON TO YOURS TRULY
Strained Introductions
It’s going to be so amusing to watch this ridiculous hotel go up in flames.
Alastor smiles smugly to himself, tapping his claws along the head of his trusty microphone as he studies the chaos surrounding him. After a sound lunch of his mother’s classic jambalaya, he’s content to sit back and watch the others face the aftermath of today’s immense excitement.
The princess and her little attack dog are exchanging shushed words in the corner of the lobby, foolishly believing that he can’t hear a word about their argument concerning his freshly established presence in the building. Husker has already drunk himself under the bar much to the disappointment of that rather womanly spider who’s been adjusting his pectoral floof and preparing for incessant flirtations. Niffty, darling Niffty, is the only one doing anything slightly useful; she’s been speedily scooping debris and rubble into a trash bag for easy disposal.
A trash bag.
Of course- oh, he’s forgotten something terribly important! How could he be so foolish? With a crackle of static that draws all eyes to him, Alastor adjusts his bowtie and pats down his hair to ensure it’s perfect as always. A quick twirl of his staff and he taps over to the front door, giving a quick, parting bow.
“Excuse me, but I have an errand of utmost importance to run- I’ll return shortly!”
The royal guard, Vaggie as she insists on being called, glares at him. “No vuelvas, pendejo.”
“How sweet.” A faded, crackling laugh track punctuates his statement. “Try your best not to miss me while I’m gone. Ta-ta, chums!”
Shadows encircle him and swallow his spindly form whole, leaving no trace of the Radio Demon behind.
////
“I said cherry.”
“This is cherry.”
“No, it’s not.” Nel pinches the bridge of her nose and sighs deeply in exasperation. “I’ve been telling you for ten minutes that it’s fucking strawberry, and I do not want the strawberry. I’m asking for cherry.”
“Whatever, Karen.”
“What? What the fuck does that mean?” she snaps at the exhausted worker, only barely keeping her temper in check.
When he flips her off and disappears from behind the bakery counter into a backroom, she clenches her fists with a pissy growl, not giving two shits if her talons threaten to slice into her palms. Nel promptly decides fuck it, stomps around the counter, and snatches up a slice of cherry pie for herself.
She still throws a few bills down on the counter, though. Old habits die hard.
The buzzing begins first. Nel’s skin crawls as the sensation of pinpricks washes over her, an unfortunately familiar fuzzy hum growing louder and louder in her ears shortly afterwards. The flashing smiles come next, along with distant whispers, full body chills, and a tug on her heart.
Goddammit.
She glares at the bakery door right as Alastor manifests in front of it with an accompanying audience cheer.
“Hello, sweetheart!” He wastes no time in snatching her up around her waist and squishing her dangerously near his less than fresh smelling armpit. “We must be off! I have the most hilarious, pathetic thing to show you!”
“Your picture?”
The loud boo doesn’t deter her from smirking. The shadowy tendril that snatches up her pie does.
“No, my gangrenous toe, the Hazbin Hotel! We have front row seats to its inevitable demise. Think of all the failures we’ll get to witness! The struggling souls clinging to the foolhardy idea of redemption, their inevitable fall back into the pit of despair- ah, it’ll be great fun!”
“Wait, Alastor, did you get your ass involved with that goddamn, idiotic scam? You just came back-”
“Ah ah, we are involved!”
“What? WHAT? No the hell we are not-!”
The bakery is ripped away and replaced by fading carpet, peeling wallpaper, and five idiots staring at the swirl of shadows occupying the center of the hotel lobby. Once the darkness fades, Alastor stands alone with a giddy grin on his gray face. There’s a beat, and then Nel falls in from the fleeting shadows, landing flat on her face with her wings awkwardly flattened around her.
Angel Dust peeks over, mutters, “Eh, it’s a chick. Fat ass though,” then returns to scrolling on his phone.
“Alastor, who the fuck is this?” Vaggie doesn’t waste a moment on beginning her tirade, temper flaring now that another uninvited addition to the hotel has appeared.
“Nobody who is overly important! Sweetheart, mind your manners and say hello.”
Nel grunts and picks her head up off of the floor. “Shut your ugly mouth.”
That less than kind response has Vaggie starting up again as Charlie desperately tries to calm her down. Nel doesn’t interrupt; for all she cares, this girl can bite Alastor’s head off and she won’t stop her. The blonde one- the princess, she remembers- tries to say something to her, but chooses to play damage control instead when a spear is held to Al’s throat.
A little skitter reaches Nel’s attention, and she sits up, turning to the side to face Niffty.
“Hiya, Nelly! Killed any good bugs lately?”
“No.”
“Aw.” Her red eye expands eerily and her smile grows. “Read any real good steamy stories lately?”
“...Come find me later, Niff. We’ll bump gums.”
“‘Kay!” Niffty skitters off as Nel chooses to continue to block out the ranting at her side. Well, if Alastor has Niffty running around this dump, then that means one of his other favorite unfortunates to torment can’t be too far away.
“Husk?”
A single clawed middle finger raises from over the top of the bar.
“Yeah, fuck you too, asshole.”
Finally, finally, Princess Charlotte manages to extend a hand out to her. Apprehensively, Nel takes it, not quite able to remain as pissy as usual in the face of this obvious kindness.
“Welcome to the Happy- uh, Hazbin Hotel!” she chirps, beaming widely and so genuinely that it has Nel’s anger withering even further. “We are so excited to have you join us and begin your path to redemption! Okay, so, right now we only have Angel Dust staying as a resident here, so we have a ton of empty rooms, fully customizable-!”
Nel holds up a hand, and sighs. “Sorry, but I’m not interested in checking in.”
“Oh, well, um, if you’re a worker of Alastor’s, then we can-”
“Worker? Please, he wishes.”
“Then what are you-?”
“Don’t fret about it!” Alastor interrupts, butting in by physically shoving himself between the two women as Vaggie settles next to her girlfriend. “Nelly is here with me under my protection, and that is that! She’ll stay by my side, and handle my business.”
Talk about her personal circle of Hell.
“Ah, I almost forgot!” Alastor snaps his fingers, and the abandoned piece of pie lands neatly on Nel’s curly head, splattering her with red filling. “There we are.”
Nel reaches up, sticks her finger into the pie, then brings it to her nose to smell. Strawberry.
What a great start to her waking nightmare.
60 notes
·
View notes