sullivanleeblogposts
Sullivan Lee's Blog Posts
Welcome to my world!
I gonna share my poems, my thoughts and everything that I've gone through in my life on tmblr.. Maybe I can reach out to you and we can share a lot of ideas together!
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It's my 4 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳
It's been 4 years with tumblr. I rarely post things but I have a lot of things to share here. Thank you tumblr for creating this application as it's a really cool app!
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Well, story time!
It was the end of year 2009 when I met my "home" on Facebook on the haters page. It was really crazy back then when 2 countries had the biggest fight over politics if I'm not mistaken. So, he said bad words, talking shit at me on that haters page. I know it's weird to be friends with strangers on the haters page and I did. He got this uneasy feeling for talking shit towards me and did apologise through DM on Facebook. It's the starter for us to be friends.
We started to post on each other's wall ( on Facebook) just for fun. At that time, he had a girlfriend and we were in the same circle. Basically, I knew almost everything about everyone and I had everyone's POV and back side stories of each drama played among the circle. So, I knew almost everything about him too.
We were purely friends and our level of relationship as friends is beyond what everyone knows. The level of trust and the level of comfort are just on another level. To make it clear, from 2009 until 2010 we were really cool to each other until he broke off with the ex-girlfriend. It was really a trending topic among the circle and just not right. I can't tell any further on that matter because of privacy concerns but, it's the first time I felt the pain.
Before he's gone (vanished from Facebook), there's a "witch" or toxic person among our circle just acting like a bitch. If she knows you like someone or somebody, she will make sure to get that guy for the sake of showing off that she is better than you. She makes you feel like a loser and just nothing compared to her. So, she managed to reach out and get my 'home' to be with her.
The last chat between him and I was the most hurtful ever. I still feel it in my nerves and body how painful it is. He just said things that hurt my feelings at that time, I cried while I replied to him last goodbye (in my thoughts it was really a last goodbye). I felt I lost my friend, my other half and as well my dignity because of that bitch. It's just a hurtful goodbye and I still can't forget what she did to me and the circle. At that time (while replying to my home's DM), I thought I was in the rain but, it's my eyes that flooded.
P/S: If you are curious about the ending between me and him, he still contacted me a few years later while I was in college and we are still friends until today. We cleared the air and we figured out everything. If we are meant to be, we are meant to be. 😊😊😊 I just know that my comfort zone and always feeling home whenever I'm talking to him. I built a home within him since that day I met him and so does him.
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Dear Bunnies,
It's my birthday today and as usual I'm just okay to celebrate with my family. It's always like that and it's special because it might be my last year to be single. I really don't mind anything nowadays. Just be cool with myself and what I have.
Things changed so do I. I check myself nowadays and it seems that I just take all the opportunities and any chances to do many things. I have come out from my comfort zone and don't give a fuck. I really do all I wanna do and as well my bucket lists. It's kinda crazy and I just feel great about it.
That's all I guess. Before this end, I wish everyone a successful life, good health and always be happy! 😄
Sullivan Lee🎈❤️🙌
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Dear Bunnies,
I guess a lot of spider webs in here as I have no time and not take serious to update anything here. I have encountered a lot of things the whole year of 2023 and today I have decided to give a shot on this blog.
Today, I read the update on social media by ex-muslims. I observe them all the time to know the reasons for them to not believe in the religion especially Islam. Over the years most of them just wanted to live a life as the freedom ideology offered. Only a few really wanted to be free from Islam.
Religion most people got just a heritage. A baby who was supposed to not have any religion, language or anything. They are just universal. I have seen and witnessed a lot of parents who told their children to find their own religion as the religion she/he taught just a heritage. They have to find what they want to believe/belief. It's supposed to be like that rather than forced/doctrine an innocent child to believe the beliefs. It's just not fair if following the law of humanity acts.
For me religion nowadays is just a monetary. Many claim to be religious just for the money's sake and to influence others to be more radical. Most of the time, women will be the victim and it's tiring. Everything is haram and everything for women are limited to do. It's really annoying and some goes to the extreme level to embarrass and bully others using religion. Really not fair at all.
I saw a post on X a long time ago that said he feels like fire up the women's hair when he saw women with no scarf as it's "aurat" on the train. I mean why don't you mind your own business rather than you wanting to destroy others for your beliefs sake?! It's just ridiculous. I guess women around the world are really not safe at all. Even, men specifically in my country mostly look at women in different ways. Their perceptions and their imagination are way too high. It's because everything about sex is taboo.
Supposedly sex education is a must to teach in school or by parents. It's really important so curiosity won't kill a cat if the cat has knowledge. Porn videos won't be addictive and will minimise the kids to search. I guess I've gone too far.
Just my ponder and observations to share for today. Toodeloo!
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Hello Bunnies,
It's been a while since my last post. I was focusing on being a writer and looking for ideas to start my writing. A lot happens in just a blink of eyes and I am really hoping for the best.
In just a blink of eyes I got someone to rely on, to trust, to understand and take care of me. Guess I found someone really important in my life now and I am blessed. Thanks and grateful to God for giving me a lot of chance and answer all my prayers all these years.
As I looking back to the past, I saw how innocent and kind i was. I can't go back to that phase because humans keep on taking advantage on me and how they made me look so stupid. However, I have seen how instant karma paid back in front of my eyes. I hate to say how my heart flattering when I saw that and even had no pity at all on them. I just wanna laugh and had a great dreams all night because of that. My dark side just had the most happiest moments when the karma works well.
Well, I just wanted update this. Great days ahead guys! I'm still working on my writing. See ya!
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Mimpi
Entah kenapa semalam tak dapat tidur awal dan akhirnya lepas terlelap, termimpi hampir kena santet dan bergaduh dengan penjual bunga dan sepupu yang jauh and jarang jumpa sebelah mak.
Pertama, mimpi santet ni pasal aku sedang menikmati maggi goreng dalam mangkuk kaca warna putih kegemaran aku bersama chopstick kegemaran dengan santai sekali. Tiba-tiba mangkuknya retak dan aku masih menyuapkan maggi yang surr rasanya ke dalam mulut. Aku sedar mangkuk putih kesayangan aku mula retak dan aku boleh nampak tiba-tiba ada banyak rambut seakan-akan mangkuk kesayangan aku mula bertumbuh rambut. Akhirnya, aku tidak meneruskan makan maggie yang rasanya surr itu lagi. Aku yakin aku tidak berjaya disantet pada ketika itu.
Mimpi seakan-akan ada dinding yang bergoyang-goyang seperti rumput lalu aku dibawa ke dimensi yang lain. Bayangkan aku berada di kedai bunga di tepi jalan yang menjual sejambak bunga ros merah yang menawan yang telah ditata ke dalam pelbagai warna pembalut. Aku ingin belikan kepada cinta hati aku lalu aku ambillah gambar untuk diperlihatkan kepada dia tetapi malangnya tangan aku telah direntap oleh sang penjual bunga yang berwarganegara Indonesia kerana dari gaya loghatnya sangat seperti anak Jakarta sekali. Lalu dia memasang muka yang sangat bengis dan tidak semena-mena dia menyelongkar bag tanganku seolah-olah aku ini pencuri. Kemudian, aku mengur dia dengan secara baik-baik tanpa meninggikan suara, "kalau kamu pengen liat tas aku, bisakan mintanya baik-baik?" dia tidak bersuara malah menampar mukaku. Yang namanya mimpi, tiba-tiba saja aku berada dalam sebuah pejabat yang terlihat seperti sebuah rumah juga. Di tempat itu, aku berkelahi dengan hebat dengan penjual bunga tadi. Dia maju dan terus maju tanpa belas kasihan. Entah dari mana tiba-tiba aku di tumbuk di bahagian muka sehingga mengakibatkan bengkak dan lebam yang maha dasyhat oleh abang sepupu aku sebelah mak.
Tidak berhenti sampai di situ, mukaku yang bengkak dan lebam tersebut disakiti lagi dengan si penjual bunga tadi tetapi aku terus memyerang dia juga tanpa memberi peluang lagi untuk dia mencederakan aku lagi. Mereka (penjual bunga dan abang sepupu) terus mengata-ngata aku sambil aku menghubungi kekasihku untuk datang ke satu alamat yang sepertinya tidak asing padaku dan saat aku terbangun dari mimpi tersebut, aku sudah lupa apakah alamatnya. Kemudian, kekasihku datang dan aku terus bertumbuk, bercakar dengan mereka disaksikan oleh kekasihku dan ayahku yang tiba-tiba ada. Aku menang dalam pergaduhan tersebut kerana penjual bunga telah tidak berdaya untuk bangun dan abang sepupuku juga tidak dapat bangun kerana aku belasah dia separuh nyawa. Setelah itu, aku hubungi pihak polis untuk membuat laporan dan mahu bawa mereka ke muka pengadilan untuk menuntut segala kerugian. "Biarpun korang berdua aku telah kerjakan hidup-hidup, tetap aku akan tuntut korang untuk membayar segala kekacauan dan kerugian kepada aku! Sudah lah sakit, kena bayar pula!" lalu aku terbangun setelah mengucapkan kata-kata tersebut.
Jujur, ini adalah mimpi yang sangat menakutkan untuk aku dan membuatku tidak tenang sama sekali. Mimpi ini aku telah tanyakan kepada Google dan jawapannya ada kebaikan dan keburukan yang mana aku merasakan seimbang.
Kebaikan : Aku akan mendapatkan rezeki dan juga boleh menewaskan musuh-musuh atau orang yang membenciku dalam diam.
Keburukan : Aku perlu berhati-hati kerana ada orang yang membenciku di dunia perkerjaan mahupun di luar dunia perkerjaan.
Aku minta kepada yang Kuasa supaya aku tidak terkena musibah. dilindungi dari orang-orang yang jahat serta diberikan kelapangan rezeki bukan untuk diriku sahaja tetapi kepada semua orang. Aminn. Semoga kalian yang membaca tulisanku ini diberikan perlindungan selalu dan terima kasih kerana meluangkan masa untuk membaca tulisan tidak seberapa dariku.
Jumpa lagi di cerita yang lain. Bye-bye!
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When I love, it's hard for me to get angry.. I just can't.. Even when I'm in pain, I just can't blurt out everything. I don't know if I am fear of losing or try to compromise for nothing.. It just hard for me to be angry even I supposed to angry.. Maybe I don't know how to love a person or I might love a person with my whole heart that it's so hard to get angry to him..
Sometimes, I feel like wanna give up and end everything.. I just wanna be single forever rather than be in a relationship that completely complicated..
I never ask for something that is beyond a person limits.. I just asked a simple comfort/support but I guess for them it just too much..
I feel like, being in love just nothing and it is hard.. I am slowly giving up.. Even having a bad day, I cannot have a word like, "it's okay", or "everything is fine".. Simple words but meaningful to me.. I feel upset and stupid at the same time with many men.. I just feel so bad for myself..
I just need to go away from them and stay in my own world that I guess more comfortable. It's always me who give my all but no one actually care.. I am upset with myself and can't resist from that.
In the end of the day, I am the one who comfort myself.. I guess I will just pile up my mind with work and work and work.. This is one of the reason why I always make myself exhausted from work.. Being workaholic is much better..
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This is my bucket list hairstyle.✅ #wolfcut #messyhair #mylife #bucketlist https://www.instagram.com/p/Cn_1BpxSGYp/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
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When the day begin, it will be the devil who's going to speak on my behalf. This time no mercy as always. There's no humanity in devil/Azazel. It's too late for the apologies.
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They are going to be angry when you refuse to take their bullshits.. Let them be angry. Alone. Their bullshits can keep them company. - Kalen Dion
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My world might be weird enough to be entered by others.. It just not suitable for ordinary narrow minded type of human to be in here.. It fulls of colours through something far away that can't be touched but so near in the heart and mind..
I can't describe how it is actually but what can I say it is beautiful because of beautiful souls that filled every part of it.. Nobody can truly understand this because it must be feel by heart and see through beautiful mind..
The story might begin or might end.. Thank you for your time to read this.. 😊
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On the day I graduate from college
I put on my new sneakers
The old pairs was always behind you
And been chasing after you for a long time
I need to get used to your happiness belongs to others from now on
The words that can't be taken back are always very intriguing
We can only live our youth on the blank paper
You took away the only love letter I had ever wrote
Quietly said goodbye to the deepest part of my heart
Why does this heavy rain tastes particularly salty
Goodbye to the happiness that I never had
I wish time could clear my memories
The love letter that has left behind
It's still be able to comprehend for me
Love Letter - Alex Chou
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Love Story (Where Do I Begin)
Where do I begin
To tell the story of how great a love can be
The sweet love story that is older than the sea
The simple truth about the love he brings to me
Where do I start
With his first hello
He gave new meaning to this empty world of mine
There'd never be another love, another time
He came into my life and made the living fine
He fills my heart
He fills my heart with very special things
With angels' songs, with wild imaginings
He fills my soul with so much love
That anywhere I go I'm never lonely
With him around, who could be lonely
I reach for his hand, it's always there
How long does it last
Can love be measured by the hours in a day
I have no answers now but this much I can say
I know I'll need him 'till the stars all burn away
And he'll be there
How long does it last
Can love be measured by the hours in a day
I have no answers now but this much I can say
I know I'll need him 'till the stars all burn away
And he'll be there
- BCL REMAKE SONG -
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Life always about choices. Once you've chose, you can't turn it back.
Sullivan Lee
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Fake World with Real Life
Go back to 2015, I met a guy with shy character. He will broadcasting with showing half face or maybe just his cheek. Hahahaha! We all have different characters and always need time to get to know new people in our life. Same goes with me and this guy. He is actually my leader in the agency I working now. Really happy to know him because I am always learning and get to know more about life from him.
We always share and have a good time together with playing games, live broadcasting, talking on video call via WhatsApp and that’s really helpful for me to forget all bitter memories and what I’m going through. Go back to him, he always open minded and never judge people based on their character, plus he always showing his sincerity and honesty in befriends with people. Sometimes his action seems to be advantages for some people. Luckily, he is wise and matured enough to understand and avoid those negative things!
We have lost contact about 3 to 4 years. We have uninstalled and stopped Bigo for a while because of some reasons and we also need time away from Bigo. A lot of memories we have created at that time even for a while. We’ve gone wild and beyond our limits until we have no more jokes sometimes. People who had culture shocked will feel that’s inappropriate and they eventually will exposed it on YouTube and so on. So bad but yeah, it is enjoyable to have lunatic friends that can go wild with you.
I am really lucky to meet people through online with positive attitudes and kind. Fast forward to 2020, we met again and he built again the old family of Bigo and it is success! I was really happy to be back to the family because this family is the first family on Bigo I have joined and again go back to the same family in the end! There’s a saying in Malay said, “kalau jodoh tak akan ke mana” which meant if you’re meant to be, it will meant to be. It is feel likes you came back home after you’ve travelled so far.
Truly he is like my eldest brother to me and someone that I can ask opinion, joking with. So fun and sometimes can be an enemy too. Hahahaha! What can I say, we have been friends so long and we knew already what are the characters of each of us. It always about time and the sincerity within us to get to know others. By time, without we notice, we already learned and understand others without force it so bad. Again, sincerity, time, willingness to get to know others and patience are the keys for us to really have somebody or someone in our circle.
Until then, have a good days ahead! Lots of love!
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