i truly see in my mind an episode about macs online boyfriend. mac comes into the bar, yelling that he has news, AMAZING news, and he gets the typical unenthusiastic reactions, but he doesnt care and announces he has a PROPER BOYFRIEND NOW. he describes this perfect boyfriend, how they have similar interests (karate and god), how he thinks mac is totally a bear and a beefcake and so hot, etc etc, and one of them asks for a picture of this Perfect Guy and mac is like. "Well technically i havent seen him yet BUT TRUST ME GUYS hes totally legit, i did a virtual ocular patdown😎". so the gang starts yelling at him about catfishes and scammers and mac rolls his eyes and says "guys, i think id know if i was getting scammed, and trust me, this isnt it-" and then you cut to the title screen and it reads "Mac Gets Scammed"
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ok i’m still On Break do not take this post as a sign that i’m like. Actively Tumblring again yet because i’m still not, 4 the most part, but i have had my ear to the ground for special interest things, of fuckign course, of course, bcuz i’m me, and i. just. i am .i’m so fucking sorry to all the new SM2099 comic fans who are only just now realizing just now how dire the straits are, here, LMAO. it has been this way for Years. earnestly and from the bottom of my heart i love spider-man 2099 so much and also nobody on the goddamn planet Cares About Him At All or can even fucking write him half-decently unless every single celestial bodie in the fucking milky way galaxy comes into perfect fucking syzygy, i think, i think, i think. why did u think we (me) had a psychotic episode after that fuckin movie dropped. fucksake. lord above. because it’s all always “ohhh being yourSELF and telling your OWN story your OWN way” until you Look A Certain Way and ARE A Certain Way and Have Symptoms That Look Frightening and Don’t Move Around Like ‘Normal’ People Should Move, fuckin’ freaky-ass creature beast-thing, and so on and so on and so on, Christ all-fuckin’-mighty. gets tiring. but. anywaygs.
it is far easier to be destructive, than constructive. so. ahem. sorry. refocusing. it seems quite simply that just yet another goddamn story missed the point that 90s future spider-man is a story about very plainly and simply loving each other as people. it’s a story about a severely depressed, miserable, cynical little man who finds new reasons to live in every kind person he meets, and there is an open earnesty to that, if nothing else, that no movie can take away 30 years later. anybody can decide to try and be a better person than the one they were yesterday, and that is goddamn important. to portray anything otherwise was an unfathomably cruel decision, on sony’s part, and as soon as we got trailer evidence that they were leaning into his more “intimidating” features back in ~dec. 2021, i.. pretty much Knew it was what they were gonna be doing with him. why wouldn’t they? i mean. who actually even cares about this obscure nobody, right? c-listers are the tried-and-true adaptational chameleons, anyways; they sure suckered in dumbasses like me, who still took blind hope in hook line and sinker, thinking he’d be important to the film, or at the very least portrayed sympathetically to his 30 years of established comic history as a character who is consciously aware that he is an adult survivor of fucking child abuse. but. c’est la fucking vie, i guess.
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LIPxLIP and the Filming of the New Year’s Special Programme: Chapter 3
b y e j i r o
previous part (chapter 2)
next part (chapter 4)
Hiyori: This way, you guys~!
Hiyori: Hmm—, I was pretty sure I chose a shrine that doesn’t receive many visitors, but I guess that even this place sees tons of people at this time of year!
Yujiro & Aizo: …
Yujiro: (Why do I have to see Aizo’s face even though it’s my day off?)
Having heaved a heavily exaggerated sigh, Yujiro then noticed that Aizo was looking at him with a rather offended expression on his face.
Aizo: Hey, you do know that I feel the same way as you, right?
Yujiro: Huh? Just what is this feeling that we are supposedly sharing?
Aizo: Y’know, that feeling that spells out “Why the hell do I have to see you, even though it’s New Year’s Day?”!
Yujiro: (Eh, he’s actually spot on. How terrifying.)
Yujiro: Forget it. Let’s get on with our prayers.
Yujiro: I want to get home as quickly as possible to prepare for the special programme.
Aizo: What’s the point of preparing for it? I’m way more athletic than you are.
Yujiro: Hey, have you even checked the casting list of the programme? Several cultural enthusiasts are going to participate alongside us.
Yujiro: There’s no way that the programme is going to be planned out in such a way that only the stupidly fit participants are given an advantage.
Aizo: What’s with that “stupidly fit” quip…? Our bodies are our main selling points as idols, y’know?! There’s no way you’re gonna win if you’re losing out in that aspect—
Hiyori: Okay! That’s enough!
Hiyori: There’s no point in fighting here, okay? Let’s pray instead.
Yujiro: …Yeah, true. There’s no point in fighting.
Aizo: Yeah. Oh God, I swear this to you.
Aizo: I definitely won’t lose to this guy, and this guy alone!
Yujiro and Aizo glared at each other, and then made a mad dash for the offertory box in an attempt to beat each other to it.
Aizo: In the hopes of growing to have a close relationship that’s bound by fate, I’ll offer 5 yen!
Yujiro: Huh? Just who do you want to be bound by fate to?
Aizo: I-I dunno, but when it comes to money offerings, you just gotta give 5 yen, right?!
Yujiro: Oh really? I’ll be offering 50 yen, though.
Aizo: Then I’ll offer 100 yen!
Yujiro: …I’ll offer 200 yen.
Yujiro: (Wait, this will never end, will it…? I want to get home to practise for the programme, so let’s just get this over with as quickly as possible.)
Yujiro and Aizo bowed their heads and clapped twice. An excessive feeling of annoyance bubbled up in Yujiro when he heard just how beautifully the sounds that the two of them made had overlapped.
Yujiro: (I don’t know why I’m praying for a guy like him… but…)
Yujiro prayed for the wish that he had originally wanted to pray for from the very beginning.
Yujiro: (Dear God, the both of us from LIPxLIP will be participating in a variety show together in a few days’ time.)
Yujiro: (It looks like it’s going to be a solo competition, so of course I’ll have my own share of highlights…)
Yujiro: (But please allow Aizo to show off his best points too.)
Yujiro: (Please let the programme be one that can be enjoyed by…every single one of the viewers from across the country.)
Yujiro: (Unlike Aizo, I’m… not used to participating in variety programmes, so I’ll try my best to not be a burden.)
When Yujiro cracked an eye open and glanced to the side, he was met with the sight of Aizo praying as hard as he could for something or other.
Aizo: …
Yujiro: (...He sure is taking a long time.)
Yujiro: (I don’t want to… raise my head before he does… or something.)
Hiyori: Um~... Aren’t you guys taking quite a while…?
Despite hearing Suzumi call out to him from behind, Yujiro paid her no mind as he continued to pray for both himself and Aizo. In other words, he was praying for the sake of LIPxLIP’s activities—
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