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#‘wait. i fear what you just heard was ‘give me a lot of coca leaves.’ what i said was ‘give me all the coca leaves you have.’ is that clear
the-dog-watch · 10 months
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We’re always laughing about the time Jack got Stephen’s sloth irresponsibly drunk in HMS Surprise (Debauchgate) but we don’t talk enough about the time Stephen accidentally got the entirety of the ship’s rat population coked up in The Nutmeg of Consolation.
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gaitwae · 3 years
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Coca-Cola •||• Loki x Reader
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"Hey, Loki?"
He turns toward you. You were in Central Park, New York City. It was a nice, warm, sunny day. Birds chirping. People busily moved along the sidewalk. He was in his black suit. You were wearing a (f/c) blouse and (pale accenting color) pants. You worked at the local library, and quickly became friends with the God of Mischief. "What is it?"
"Are you thirsty?" you ask, trying to hide your smirk. There was a soda vendor near the bench where you sat—just across the road. You knew what you wanted: (Fav coke product). But there was a drink Loki hadn't yet tried.
"I suppose. . . . Why?" he asked, seeming clueless. He squints out into the view of the people they called New York. You know that he would never admit it, but you knew he still wanted to rule them. He was born and bred to be a king of some sort.
"I have a spare dollar. Have you ever had Coca-Cola?" He shook his head.
"No; what kind of ale is it?" He looked curious about it. It was one of your favorite expressions from him. The soft look of his eyes and the slight pout of his lips? Adorable.
"It's non-alcoholic." You stand up, putting your (h/c) hair up and brushing off your clothes. You dig in your purse, taking out your wallet. He looks more confused at the mention of 'non-alcoholic'. "It tastes good, don't worry."
"If it tastes anything like your ridiculous coffee, (Y/N), I'd rather not." He starts to stand, but you push him back down. You weren't sure if he was following you or if he was leaving, but you weren't passing up this opportunity to get Loki to drink Coke. "What are you—?"
"Stay," you order. "I'll be right back, 'kay?" You look him sternly in the eye.
"I'm just—" he tries. You shush him and out a finger to his lips. His eyes widened with just a small bit of annoyance and disbelief. He hated when you cut him off.
"Stay! I'll just be across the street; don't move!" You back away slowly, giving him a stern look. He glares at you. The expression on his face is slightly exasperated, but it seemed like he almost enjoyed it when you made him try new things. Almost.
He rolls his eyes and rests his chin on his hand, obediently sitting on the bench and waiting for you. You quickly got (Fav coke product), then a bottle of Coke. A giddy smile comes to your lips as you run back over to him.
"Here," you say, handing the bottle to him. He looks at it skeptically. You see the wrapper. Oh no. Share a Coke with a Significant Other. He would notice. Great.
"Are you sure it's not that disgusting coffee, (Y/N)?" he asks, turning the bottle and studying it. "It's the same color." You nod, opening the drink for him.
"Just try it," you tell him. He sighs and puts the bottle to his lips, taking a sip. His eyes widen and he pulls it away. You're almost afraid that he didn't like it, but it's a look of awe. Not fear.
"(Y/N)," he starts. "This is delicious. Why isn't this on Asgard?" He looks to you. "You can't be mortal. I've been trying to ignore this for quite some time, and now I finally have proof."
"Uh . . . what?" you ask. "I am human. And Coke has been around for decades." He shakes his head, setting down the bottle and and taking your hand.
"You're too beautiful. Too intelligent. Too knowing. You can't be human." You blush at the compliment, but he looked serious. "What are you?" He looks you dead in the eyes. "Some sort of Valkyrie? A goddess? A demon? A Jotun?"
You gently take his hands away, looking back at him with a light and serious air. "I'm human, Loki. I've been human." You give him an embarrassed smile. "And I'm average."
"You really aren't," he says. "Why in all the Nine Realms would I love you if—?” He blushed and stopped, seeing your smirk this time.
“You love me? Well, that explains a lot," you laugh. He looks like he was trying to think up an excuse, but it was too late. He was caught.
“Wait, wait, wait—” he tries, holding up his hands and giving an embarrassed smile, but you take his hands and cut him off with your lips.
It takes him a moment, but he kisses back with tenderness and relief and happiness. He laces your fingers together and smiled slightly against your lips. You pull back. “Good thing I got you that Coke. . . . I might have never heard that slip up."
He laughed some. "I suppose you’re right."
You booped his nose. "I love you too," you say. "Now share that Coke with me."
+-THE END-+
I do requests ~
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erik-carierre · 4 years
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Halloween story from last year.
Christine visited her aunt’s house every year.
She was a frail, elderly woman, and when Christine drove up every summer to chat and housekeep and bake, she felt needed and loved and depended upon, largely for the first time since her father’s passing. The trip was long and lonesome along the hot interstate, and though the radio kept her company and it was safe to frequently check the map, her car had survived through two annual drives and would clearly not survive a third.
Smoke began to billow out from under the hood, and she was forced to pull over in the dead heat, completely screwed. She’d been ignoring that ‘check engine’ light for a while now, hoping things would clear themselves up. She had been slow to adjust to adult responsibilities.
A lifeline appeared far down the road, tires stirring up a cloud of dust that followed the black Pontiac Firebird. The car slowed down in front of her, passenger window rolling down. It was cool inside, and his radio was playing some lulling crooner’s song about rain.
Erik was kind. He helped her load up her belongings into his backseat and would give her a lift as he was heading her way. The old station wagon of hers had to be left to rust on the side of the road, but she’d gotten it cheap in her senior year and she had little sentimental attachment to it. She was able to rest on the cool black seat, chatting with Erik and intermittently resting her eyes. She felt safe. He was charming and easygoing.
It was getting dark and they hadn’t had anything to eat. He pulled over to a motel and diner, letting her grab a bite while he paid for the rooms. They met in the lobby, he gave her her key, and then it was goodnight.
She couldn’t sleep. The mattress wasn’t the best she’d slept on, and more than once it seemed like something was moving underneath it. The tv gave a low, staticky hum even when turned off. With nothing better to do, she chose to go for a walk.
The motel was a long circuit, starting at the lobby and looping back around past all the rooms. Few doors had light underneath, and she found she didn’t know which one was Erik’s. In the lobby there was the big glass doors, the worn reddish carpet, the front desk, and the Coca-Cola vending machine. There were fluorescent lights that did their job poorly, and a radio on the empty counter playing some other song- Stuck on You, she identified after a few moments, staring out at the big fluorescent sign reading NO VACANCY.
Another loop around and the song was still playing. She could remember the words this time, humming along as she pressed her forehead against the cool glass and looked down the road for oncoming motorists.
“You can shake an apple off an apple tree
Shake-a, shake- sugar
But you'll never shake me
Uh-uh-uh
No-sir-ee, uh, uh
I'm going to stick like glue
Stick because I'm
Stuck on you.”
She could hear the song as she wandered now, mouthing the lyrics. A couple rooms had their TVs on; she could see flickering under the doors. People were moving around upstairs, but the steps were outside, and she didn’t feel like going there.
“Going to run my fingers thru your long black hair
Squeeze you tighter than a grizzly bear
Uh-uh-uh
Yes-sir-ee, uh, uh”
The neon sign outside was turned off now. The vending machine clicked and buzzed here and there, like an ice maker. Elvis was still crooning, and she started to sing softly as she made another trip around.
“Hide in the kitchen, hide in the hall
Ain't going to do you no good at all.”
The volumes on the TVs were turned up now. There must be a party or something going on upstairs; she could hear tapping and dancing and running. Down the hall a ways behind her, something fell over in the maintenance closet, enough to make her turn around.
The lobby radio was louder too. The fluorescent lights flickered off as she entered, the pale glow of the vending machine offering a last bit of light behind the plastic cover. The cursive letters seemed just as bright and distant as the stars outside. There was a loud clunk and a single can fell from the dispenser, rolling out across the worm carpet floor and into the shadowed hallway.
“Because once I ḉḀṮḉḧ you and the ḲḭṠsing starṮṠ,”
Even the exit signs were flickering and dying. Yet the TVs were loud and going strong, hundreds of voices pouring out and lights flashing under every door. Then the banging started. First on the ceiling, right over her head, and then starting up around the corner behind the doors, catching up to her. She started running.
“A team of wḭḶḊ hṏṙṠes couḶḊṆ’Ṯ ṮḕḀṙ ṳṠ ḀṖḀṙṮ!”
The maintenance closet made the whole building shake, the door flying open as the banging grew louder and louder. She caught a glimpse of something tall and thin and frightening, like a void with glowing eyes, and somehow she could sense the sharp teeth below them. She screamed and sprinted to her room, the banging on both sides and above and below as she darted inside and slammed the door shut, crying and hysterical.
“Christine? Christine, are you alright? What’s the matter?”
She came to realize there was no pulsing, eardrum-shattering ruckus going on around her. It was just her own uneven gasps, the electric hum of the tv, and Erik’s concerned, tentative voice. She threw the door open and sobbed into his chest, and he held her against his t-shirt, promising they’d leave that night if she wanted to.
She awoke in Erik’s passenger seat as he pulled into the parking lot of a diner, informing her that her destination was close and he was going to fill up the car across the street while she had breakfast. There was little opportunity to talk about the events of last night, and on the drive up to the old house he asked her questions about her aunt and childhood, trying to cheer her up. At last she could see that beautiful white farmhouse, could smell the cinnamon sugar donuts and hear the vinyl records and feel her aunt’s withered hand in hers.
He was gone when Christine shut the backseat door, belongings in her arms. His door was wide open, and she heard nothing from him. But glancing over to the house, he must’ve gone in. There was nowhere else for him to have disappeared to as fast.
“Auntie Val? Hello? Erik?” Christine stepped inside, frowning. The doors were wide open and everything seemed dusty and faded. She dumped her stuff on the floral patterned loveseat, a sick dread filling her stomach. “Aunt Val? Are you hurt? Hello–“
A record in the other room started playing, grainy and crackling but loud enough to spill into the main area of the house.
“...hide in the kitchen, hide in the hall
Ain’t gonna do you no good at all”
She began to panic as she heard a voice call her from upstairs. Soft and feminine and welcoming and not her aunt’s. “Christine? I’m upstairs, dear. Come this way. I’m just upstairs. Come up.”
Anxiously she climbed the steps, wincing as she saw the clearly abandoned top floor of the house. This was not her aunt’s house. It looked identical from the outside, but now she wasn’t sure. Reality was playing tricks on her. The attic door was just ahead, already open. The stairs clicked as they slid down.
“Because once I caṮḉḧ ẏṏṳ ḀṆḊ Ṯḧḕ ḲḭṠṠḭṆḠ ṠṮḀṙṮṠ Ḁ ṮḕḀṁ ṏḟ ẇḭḶḊ ḧṏṙṠḕṠ ḉṏṳḶḊṆ’Ṯ ṮḕḀṘ ṳṠ ḀṖḀṙṮ”
The wooden stairs creaked as she set her foot on the first step, and she managed to make it to the third. Christine stared into the void above, frozen in fear as two bright eyes slowly came into view. Long, clawed appendages gripped her arms, digging into her clothes and skin and wrenching her up screaming, long sharp teeth tearing into her jugular and holding the meal down as it struggled frantically until the top half was detached from the bottom half.
Few motorists drove along this dusty stretch of road now. She was the first he’d seen in five years. Past the abandoned motel and diners and the dead gas station. He lingered in that old house, and waited.
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felixthekoala · 6 years
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The Glow of the Stars
Group: Stray Kids
Pairing: FelixXReader
Type: Angst
a/n: Welp y’all wanted a part two to Remember the Stars, here it is!
Read Part 1 here!
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You
“Alright, (y/n), we’re going to put the sedatives in your system now, soon you’ll fall asleep,“ the surgeon explained as you nodded slowly.  “Can you count down from ten for me?”
“Ten... Nine.... Eight....”  you started, immediately feeling the effects of the sedatives.
“You’re so brave, (y/n),” the surgeon reassured you.  That was the last thing you heard before you went under.
Felix
Three hours.  It had been three agonizingly long hours since she went into the operating room for that dangerous surgery.  Felix was beside himself.  He took to pacing back and forth across the waiting room, hands gripped tight to his hair.
“Excuse me sir?” A stray hand tapped him on the shoulder.  “I’m very sorry, but you’re disturbing some of our patients, could you please take a seat or step outside?”
Felix turned to the sound of the voice, finding a smiling nurse.  He snapped.  “TAKE A SEAT?!  THE LOVE OF MY LIFE MIGHT DIE IN THIS SURGERY AND YOU WANT ME TO JUST TAKE A SEAT?!” he exploded, ignoring all the heads turning to watch the scene.  “I don’t care who you are, if she dies in there, there will be hell to pay,” he growled, storming off.
(y/n), why did you ever agree to this??
After what felt like ages, the doctors appeared through the doors and headed towards Felix, a serious look on all of their faces.
“You’re here for (y/n), right?” the doctor in the middle asked.  Felix nodded slowly, eyes wide with fear.
“She made it through the surgery with minimal complications. She’s resting right now but you can see her in about an hour.”
Felix breathed a sigh of relief.  She made it.  “Thank you.”  
The doctors nodded and set off back through the doors.
You
You woke to see a familiar smiling face, blinking back tears.
“Felix?”
He tackled you, pulling you into a tight hug.  “Oh, (y/n), I was so scared you wouldn’t make it!” he exclaimed, squeezing you to the point of near-suffocation.
“That's- nice- Felix, but-  squeezing- just had- surgery.”
“Oh!” He relaxed his grip immediately, apologizing profusely.
“It’s okay, normally I would love to be attacked by Boa Constrictor Felix, but maybe not right after surgery,” you laughed.
“Well you must be feeling a lot better if you’re cracking jokes like you used to.”
You nodded.  “Even though I’m tired from the surgery, I somehow feel rejuvenated.  It’s hard to explain, but I’m just so relieved I’m finally free of cancer.”
“I’m so proud of you, (y/n), you finally overcame it.  I knew you could, my little fighter.” He smiled, tapping your nose lightly with his index finger.
“What have I said about booping my nose?” you warned, fighting back a grin.
“That it’s always acceptable, and should be rewarded with a kiss?”  He gestured to his cheek with his finger.
“Don’t be a smartass, Felix.”
“But that’s what you love about me.  Don’t deny it.”
You rolled your eyes.  “You’re a dork.”
“Come on, we should celebrate you being released from the hospital,” Felix urged, jutting out his lower lip.  You rolled your eyes, sighing.  You could never resist his puppy face.
“Alright, fine.  Where do you want to take me, then?”  You turned to face him as he draped his arm around you.
“I want to take you to see the stars.”
You were quite curious as to what exactly Felix had planned, he gave you no hints on the trip there, not even telling you where “there” was.  When you finally arrived, he placed a large coat around you, pulling the hood over your eyes.
“Felix, I can’t see!” you whined.
He laughed.  “That’s the point.  Here, take my arm so I can guide you.” He extended his arm and you happily took it, immediately being dragged along what felt like grass.
When you finally arrived at the supposed destination, you attempted to pull your hood off, but Felix’s hand grabbed the hood, stopping you.
“Wait.  Give me two minutes and then you can take it off, okay?”
You nodded.  “Alright, but hurry up.  I’m beginning to forget what light looks like.”
“Enough with the snark, cutie, you’ll regret it soon.”  The smile was evident in his voice and you couldn’t help but smile.
Finally, he was finished.  Slowly, he removed your hood, his hands over your eyes.  
“You ready?” he asked.
“I’ve been ready forever, Felix,” you laughed.  His hands dropped from over your eyes, revealing a grass-covered meadow with a large blanket and a basket, illuminated by a lantern.  “Felix, what is all this?” you asked, eyes wide in surprise.
“I told you I would show you the stars, didn’t I?”  He smiled, wrapping his arms around your waist from behind you.  “What better way to do that than a picnic under the night sky?” 
You leaned back into him, reaching up to peck his cheek.  “It’s beautiful.  I love it, Felix.”
“Come, sit.  I got a bunch of food for us, and your favorite drink.”
You gasped as you sat on the blanket next to him.  “Coca Cola?”
He nodded enthusiastically.  “I want you to be able to finally relax and have fun now that you’re finally done with all that chemo and horrible stuff.”
Wrapping your arms around him, you nuzzled into his shoulder.  “Thank you.  I can’t stress enough how much it meant to me that you stuck with me through everything.”
“Of course, i wouldn’t even dream of leaving you.  I can’t imagine a world without you.”  He touched your chin with his index finger, bringing it an inch away from him.  Gazing into his eyes, you slowly leaned forward.  His lips brushed against yours softly, slow and sweet.  Just as he began to deepen the kiss, a familiar ringtone sounded in your pocket.  You sighed, pulling it out and giving Felix one more quick peck before answering.
“Hello?”  you asked, timidly.  Having seen the caller ID, you were dreading the subject of the call.
“Hello, is this (y/n)?  This is Doctor H from the Oncology Clinic.”
You sat up, waving Felix away so he wouldn’t listen.  “Yes, that’s me.  What’s going on?”
“I- There’s no good way to tell you this, but unfortunately the bone marrow we used in the transplant has been showing... complications with other patients who received the same marrow.  It is crucial you come back to the hospital as soon as possible.”
The world started spinning.  What did this mean?  
“Hey, are you okay?” Felix asked, placing a palm on your forehead.  “You look a little faint.  You nodded slowly.
“Okay, I’ll head over there now.”  You hung up the phone, turning to Felix.  Trying to put a brave face on, you took a breath to speak when a sudden jolt of pain shot through your chest.  Grabbing your chest, you cried out.
“(y/n)!  Are you okay?!  What’s going on?!”  Felix exclaimed, catching your body as you collapsed to the ground.  “(y/n)!  (y/n)!”  He screamed your name over and over.  The pain was becoming unbearable.  Writhing in pain, you tried to distract yourself by looking at the night sky.
“Felix,” you breathed.
“I’m here.  What’s wrong?  What hurts?”  Tears streamed down his panicked face.
“Felix.  Look, the stars are glowing.” You coughed, choking on blood.  “They’re so bright.”
“(y/n)?  Stay with me.  Stay with me.  STAY WITH ME!!  HELP SOMEONE HELP!”  he screamed, voice cracking.  “(y/n) stay with me.  Stay with me!”  He held you in his arms as he wept.  “(y/n), you can’t leave me, you’re everything to me.  I don’t know what I’d do without you.  STAY WITH ME!!”  His voice was hoarse but he refused to stop.
You used the last of your strength to wipe a tear from his face, your arm collapsing on the ground in exhaustion.The world was slowing down.  You were slowing down.  Your eyes blinked slowly as you lost energy.
“The stars,“ you whispered.  The last thing you saw was Felix’s tear-soaked face contorted in anguish.  And then nothing.
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