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hoyaanae · 3 years

Text

My thoughts and all the things I love about Lovely Us (2020)

This drama really surprised me with how good it was written and made despite already knowing that this is highly rated by my cdrama mutuals. First ep right off the bat made me laugh and cry. The following eps kept the flow really well and established the characters and their relations. Before I know it, I'm already in love and attached to the characters and everything about this drama. It's very charming, calming and heartwarming to watch. The acting, writing, execution, ost, and production are well-done.

Set in 2007, this is another drama with nostalgic vibe that will remind you of your childhood and probably teenage years as well of your old neighborhood and the people you used to hang out with when you're younger. Even though I'm kinda fed up with childhood friends to lovers trope by now, this one did it the right way. Romance is slowburn but the buildup isn't slow at all. The main cp are so cute despite the daily bickerings that you just can't help but root for them to be together. It also have unrequited love trope where you'll see the character continuously root for that person and not expecting anything in return. There's no antagonist/evil characters in this story, just your feel-good slice-of-life drama with a touch of teenage romance in it.

Another strong point this drama have is the friendship and family dynamics. The five main leads have such amazing and solid friendship and their chemistry with each other is very natural to watch you'll wish you have the kind of friendship they have. It's endearing how their respective families are friends with one another and the parents have absolute trust with their children even allowing them to stay in closed room, have overnight at their house without adult supervision and even go to outdoor camping sharing one tent. It's refreshing to see how they showcased different parenting styles in each household and the parents aren't portrayed as someone controlling, instead they understand and communicate with their children. There's even one case wherein a parent realized he's doing it wrong so he asked for advice and help from his son's friend in order to get closer with his son.

Unlike other dramas, this one never drags out misunderstandings and touches the issue in the most heartwarming way that it never felt annoying or frustrating to watch, instead I became emotional at those moments that I can't help but shed a tear or ugly cry.

The characters are funny, full of mischief but sweet and thoughtful on the inside. It's a delight to watch them get together and have their little meetings, bicker and help each other out.

The ost will surely stay on repeat in my playlist for the next few days or weeks even. The song choices fit the mood so well and I find myself heavily lss-ed with the opening song. The song "Can I See You Tomorrow?" gives off the ultimate nostalgic vibe and reminds me of one ISWAK ost.

What really stood out to me the most are the moments in each ep wherein a certain character will narrate his/her thoughts about love, life, and family. They're beautifully and oftentimes poetically written matching with flashback scenes that made the dialogue even more heartfelt.

Here are some of the lines that are deeply engraved in my heart because they are beautifully written and will really go well as book passages:

"Once people become parents, their memory begins to become biased. They always remember they are their children's most reliable parents, but often forget that they are also children loved by their own parents. When they are waiting for their children to come back home, they forget that their own parents are also waiting for their return in a similar mood."

"The audio frequency of the sound when a snowflake falls on the water surface is over 50,000 Hz. Because it falls beyond human being's hearing range, this snowy day is still so quiet that it seems I can only hear my own heartbeat and that it seems there is only me and the person in front of me on this planet with a population of 6.6 Billion. I hope this world can be noiser so that I can pretend that I've never discovered this secret."

"They think that the probability is just 0.01, so they put on the emperor's new clothes, trying to hide their affections with magic. But affections are not that easy to hide. Even if the probability is pretty low, it will be revealed at a certain moment. So on that rainy night, while looking at her back, he found that the most obvious evidence of falling in love with her was the feeling of easement in his heart and the smile on his face when he looked at her."

"You think nothing will change as time flies by. But this time, the moment you let go and turn around, some things completely changed. The sun went down and before it rises again, some people will leave you forever. We always thought that there would be a big ceremony to say goodbye, so we keep waiting for a warm hug, a refreshing drink, and a heartfelt goodbye, but in the end, we realized that most goodbyes in our lives are all silent."

"At that silent corner in my mind, there are a number of weird illusions. For example, can I become Alice who enters the wonderland with White Rabbit? For example, can I become the little girl who enters the forest with Totoro? For example, is there some special switch in this box which can teleport me? No, none of them exist. There's no flying dragons or knights, and I'm not the heroine of some comics for girls, either. However, the only thing I'm sure about is that this escape greatly shocks my world. My palms would sweat, and my sight would be indistinct. Then my view becomes narrower and narrower until there's room for only one person in my eyes. After a long time, I know such a moment is named adventure, in which the one in your eyes is irreplaceable."

"The familiar chirping of cicadas on summer nights, the familiar bear doll who must lean by the lamb, the familiar lovely girl who frowns even when she sleeps, and the 17-yr-old time wrapped by the sense of familiarity never seem to have changed. The only difference is that when I look at the familiar him, I feel a flurry and uneasiness that I have never expected."

"There are many new days like today. Today, he holds my hand. Today, he holds me in his arms. Today, he carries me on his back and runs in the street in the early morning. Many days with him like today will eventually become my unforgettable past days. I'll remember days like today for a long time."

"Friendship means so much to us. It brings us close, and makes me flinch, so sometimes we just tell ourselves that as long as we're together, I can be just a friend of hers. But the taxi that I failed to catch, the phone calls that have been hung up, the time that's flying and my restless heart are telling me eagerly that in this world, both love and friendship are important. Every detail related to you is reminding me that we can't be just friends. So when it's still not too late, I have to tell you the things that I want to tell you as soon as possible. Huang Chengzi, I like you."

"In this world, it seems like all wishes have a guardian. Wishing wells, shooting stars, the aquarium's white whale. They're all hiding in the corners of the universe caressing the sorrow of loving someone alone. It's just that the god of happiness can't bless everyone out there. They let some people be happy and their wishes come true, and let some be sad, but they can't admit how sad they really are. The feeling of being in love is like a butterfly gently flapping its wings, that stirs up a hurricane in people's hearts. The second you realize it, then there's no escape."

#如此可爱的我们 #Lovely Us #Cdrama #Lovely Us cdrama #cdrama review

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mayfriend-archive · 3 years

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Totally understand if you're not up for it and fully recognize the ronald mcdonald dom/sub anon vibes which is an AMAZING post btw but like...now i'm curious, what the hell did Lord of the Flies anon DO that got him blocked for the discourse? like...i just can't wrap my head around high school lit being...uh...that inflammatory i guess?

Okay so, I'll start by saying I've had a new anon from apparently the same anon saying they are NOT the person I blocked, just a rando making the same points, but I'll answer your question anyway just to set out why this person in particular got blocked, out of the several thousand who reblogged/commented on that very successful addition to the LoTF post I made.

First off, I added the 'real life Lord of the Flies' story because I thought it was a good story. I had read about it only a couple days beforehand in Humankind and, after reading out the entire chapter to my parents who weren't very interested, I was excited that there was not only a post where it would be relevant to post, but that I wouldn't be hijacking it, as it was already rejecting the widespread interpretation taught in many schools, that humanity is inherently savage.

When making the addition, I a) did not think it would get more than a couple reblogs, because the post was already at 50k notes and I figured anyone that might be interested would already have seen it, and b) I did not know the very specific context that prompted William Golding to write the book; all I knew was that he had been a teacher at a public school (basically, the poshest schools in the country - think Eton, Harrow, very 'old money' places that pump out Conservative politicians by the bucket-load 🤢) who hated his job and the boys he taught (which, valid), and new information I'd been given in Humankind - that Golding had said to his wife one day, "Wouldn't it be a good idea to write a story about some boys on an island, showing how they would really behave?" - which had no mention of The Coral Island by R. M. Ballantyne, which I have since learned was the text that Golding loathed enough to write an entire novel in refutation of - and included what I considered a very telling letter from Golding to his publisher, in which Golding wrote of his belief that 'even if we start with a clean slate, our nature compels us to make a muck of it.' Another Golding quote that I believe portrays his belief in humanity's 'innate savagery' is that "man produces evil as a bee produces honey."

Obviously, the author of a book putting forward the case for humanity's inherent goodness was going to oppose Golding's hypothesis; Bregman not only noted Golding's literary accomplishments and beliefs, but his personal life.

When I began delving into the author's life, I learned what an unhappy individual he'd been. An alcoholic. Prone to depression. A man who, as a teacher, once divided his pupils into gangs and encouraged them to attack each other. "I have always understood the Nazis," Golding confessed, "because I am of that sort by nature." (Humankind by Rutger Bregman, p. 24-25)

I have bolded the part about him as a teacher, because it is incredibly relevant to the original post that I commented on, which begins with a comic of a teacher locking her class in to see them 'recreate' Lord of the Flies, something which the follow up comments before mine staunchly reject as both misunderstanding the point of the book, and the fact that it took the kids in Lord of the Flies a significant amount of time without adult supervision to go 'savage'. This misreading of the text is widespread enough that when Golding won the Nobel Prize for Lord of the Flies, the Swedish Nobel committee wrote that his book 'illuminate[s] the human condition in the world of today'. Whether or not they misread it is beyond my expertise - they do at least mention the factors of the outside world neglected by many when analysing the book, but still seem to believe it says something about human nature as a whole rather than just, to quote thedarkbutbeige 'British kids being rat bastards' - but Golding quite happily took his Nobel prize on this basis. Which, in fairness, I would too. It's a fucking Nobel prize.

It was with this knowledge, and this knowledge alone, that I stated in my now very, very widely read comment that Golding 'wrote the book to be a dick', in response to the tags of the person I reblogged from. As I said, I now know that Golding did not write the book (solely) because he hated the kids he taught, but as a response to The Coral Island and the general idea that clearly the British were inherently civilsed, whilst the people they colonised and enslaved were inherently savage. So. That's the background.

The anon - or rather, the person I thought was anon - was the sole exception out of dozens of replies, who instead of telling me about The Coral Island politely decided it was time to go ALL CAPS and regurgitate points already made by thespaceshipoftheseus, and implied that the only reason that the real life Tongan castaways didn't go all Lord of the Flies was because they weren't British. Not because they weren't surrounded by violence like the boys in Lord of the Flies, or there wasn't a World War ongoing, or that they weren't the upper, upper, upper crust of a class-obsessed society like Britain - but because they weren't British. A complete inversion of the concept that Golding was trying to get across - now, instead of all of humanity being equally prone to savagery in the right conditions, it was solely nationality that determined it. As in, the British were inherently savage, but nobody else was.

I, trying for humour, made the terrible mistake of replying to them.

I won't lie, I was absolutely blown away that this was real life. What I think they were trying to do was be that Cool Tumblr Person who, after somebody's been shitty on a post, goes to their blog and sees something Damning in their about/description. In an ideal world, I imagine I'd have gone nuts or done something Unforgiveable. In what I can only call the rant that followed, they stated several times that I needed to go back to high school to get some 'proper literary analysis' skills and that the story of the Tongan castaways was completely unrelated to the point at hand which. I mean, I disagree, considering that I made the addition, but I couldn't get my head around how commenting on a post that was already rejecting the thesis that the 'point' of Lord of the Flies was that humanity was inherently savage and was, in fact, about how kids - British or otherwise - learn how to function from the adults around them, and that traumatised, terrified children aren't going to create a mini-Utopia, and put forward a real life example of how without the key additions of an ongoing world war, a colonial Empire and the subsequent mindset of thinking you are 'inherently civilised' and therefore can't do anything wrong, actually, people just want to take care of each other.

A friend has since asked me why I even have 'england' in my description. To be honest, it's a timezone thing - I talk to a lot of people online who don't share my timezone, and it generally makes me feel like if I don't reply immediately because it's 3am, they have the tools to see that I'm not in their timezone and not just ignoring them. I did consider changing it to 'british' or 'uk' after it was... 'used against me', I guess, simply because I didn't want to deal with it, but you know what. No. Not gonna do that. I am from England, and I have never hid that fact. I have a tag called 'uk politics', during Eurovision I refer to the UK's act as 'us' (even if I really, really don't want to. Because James Newman slaughtered that song and it was downright embarrassing), I regularly post stuff in my personal tag about where I live (and mostly complain about this piece of shit government). If people really think my nationality makes every point I make null and void, then they don't have to follow me or interact with my posts; tumblr is big, and I am one medium-small blog very easily passed over.

I did reply to them, trying to explain the above, but their next response really just doubled down. Because I used the word British instead of English - foolishly because the posts above mine focused on Britishness, and also because although Golding was English and taught English kids, the pro-Imperialism author of The Coral Island, R. M. Bannatyne was actually Scottish so, ding ding ding, falls into the 'British' category - they then decided that I was somehow trying to pretend I wasn't English and made all the same points, before ending with this doozy:

At this point, I knew there was nothing to be gained from replying, because if we're whipping out conditions like they're pokemon cards then there's no actual conversation anymore, and I'm not going to start mudslinging like an identity politician. They made up their mind, and I figured there could be no harm in letting them think that they 'won' by blocking them instead of replying.

Until the ask. INNATE ENGLISH SAVAGERY did, I'll admit, make me think it was them, back again. I even thought up a really good response approximately 12 hours after I replied, I was that sure. Until the second message came in, and said they were just someone who came from the post and made the same point by chance. So the saga draws to a close... for now.

It may have been them, it may not have been - the anon feature makes it impossible to be sure, but as the second message I got said, we're in a heatwave. It's too hot to argue. And I've just written a goddamn essay about a book I dislike anyway.

My pasty English ass is going to go melt. If there's Disk Horse, do not tell me. I am Done™

#emily speaks #asks #anon #lord of the flies #this is long. this is so long. why is this so long #i literally got out humankind so i could quote directly. how is this my life

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serenhyunjinity · 5 years

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mental patient! hyunjin

“one side of me wants to love you but the other wants to see your blood spill from every inch of your body”

word count: 2000+

‘Hwang Hyunjin, aged 19, suffers from a rare form of split personality disorder and needs to be watched at all times, be prepared for a sudden personality swap’. Reading those words written on the document that was handed to y/n only a few days before, nervousness seeped through her veins. Honestly she was just glad she wasn’t having a forty year old psychopath and instead had someone around her age. After all, she had only just made it into the career she had dreamed of since she was young.

“Are you ready?” the older nurse asked, yet her face looked unsure, he couldn't be that bad right? I mean they wouldn't assign a new nurse to an extremely dangerous patient. Nodding, this was the call to open the metal door which led into the extremely white room which had a single bed placed in the centre, although it was within seconds in which she spotted the tall male slumped against the wall.

The metal door clanked behind her as she entered with caution towards the patient who still had not acknowledged her presence. His head was low as his face had a deep look of lack of comfort. Then again who wouldn’t feel uncomfortable in an isolated room like this? “You must be my new nurse” the boy suddenly spoke, making y/n jump in shock, so he had noticed her walk in.

“Yeah, im y/n” she replied softly, trying not to sound intimidating to the boy who already looked distraught as it was. With her reply, the black haired patient glanced up, making eye contact with the nurse, sending shivers down her spine. Although she definitely was not expecting a bright smile to form on her patients lips, watching as he jumped up from his spot and stood politely in front of her. “How are you feeling today Hyunjin?”

The black haired boy contemplated to himself before once again facing the nurse “Im fine at the moment, but that's only because my nurse is pretty and not an old hag like the others” his smile was small but he chuckled lowly. She really wasn't prepared for a flirtatious patient but it was better than one who wanted nothing more than to have her dead right then and there. Motioning him to sit on the bed which was close by, he did as he was told as y/n calmly sat in her spot, but then that's when the nerves began to kick in.

“Are you nervous? Don’t be, i'm in a good mood right now” he smiled once again, okay it will go fine y/n, just calm. Gripping the clipboard, y/n took the pen from her pocket and let out a deep sigh, time to begin her first ever assessment.

“Do you have any triggers that cause your sudden personality changes?” first question and it's already cutting straight to the point. The boy sat in front of her sighed and looked around, gathering his thoughts. “Not really, it just happens, but it can happen if i get too angry” noted.

“When did your other personality begin to affect your life?” that's when Hyunjin went silent, a sad look covering his face, which had previously had a bright smile adorned on it. He looked nervous, so without a single thought, y/n reached over and grabbed his shaking hand.

“When I saw my father beating my mother, that's when I first noticed it, i just got so angry that i couldn't think of anything else except seeing him dead. He inflicted pain on me after that day, until I couldn't handle it anymore”. His words began to get shaky as they escaped his trembling lips, but with a squeeze of his hand reassuring him that it was fine to keep talking, he proceeded to do just that. “I hit him with a glass bottle and ran, fuck i dont even know if he is even alive”. Abusive father, troubled childhood.

After a few more questions, hyunjin was done with his check up. The boy gazed at the nurse who had now moved from her seat and skimmed over the notes she had scribbled down as hyunjin opened up about his illness. “Thank you for today hyunjin, ill be back tomorrow” and with that, she exited the room, hyunjin’s eyes scanning her, if only he wasnt in this stupid hospital.

Two weeks had passed by in the blink of an eye and y/n still had only witnessed hyunjin’s positive and bright personality. It wasn't as if she was complaining, the nurses told her that when his second personality came out, it was best to leave as soon as possible, although this was understandable from the stories that her patient had told her about throughout the course of their many sessions.

It was now time for her fourteenth session with hyunjin and as he had been a relatively well mannered and responsible patient, he was granted access to the outside world for six hours, of course whilst being supervised by his nurse, y/n. The nurses were dumbfounded when they found out that Hwang Hyunjin was doing so much better than he was a month previously, yet little did they know y/n was the reason for this. Hyunjin knew it was almost forbidden to feel this way towards a nurse, but he couldn't help the butterflies from fluttering in his stomach just by the thoughts of her.

“Hyunjin I have some news for you” hyunjin’s heart picked up its pace as soon as the girl’s voice filled his plain white room, although it certainly wasn't plain whenever she was there with him. “We’re leaving this place for a couple of hours” Hyunjin’s eyes grew wide, he was allowed out of this place? After being trapped in the mental hospital for almost three years, he could breathe fresh air.

So with this news, y/n handed him the pieces of clothing which were given to her by another nurse. I mean he couldn't just go out into the public eye in his patient uniform, it would certainly put unwanted attention onto him, and in most cases that really would not be good for him. Leaving the room, y/n waited patiently, undoubtedly she felt proud of herself for getting hyunjin to the point where he was trusted to leave the prison-like building and experience being a young adult for at least a couple of hours.

Stepping out of y/n’s car, the pair set foot on the grounds of an amusement park which was only fifteen minutes away from the hospital. Hyunjin had never been to an amusement park, so with the view of rollercoasters and the sweet aroma of candy filling the air, butterflies filled his stomach as y/n grabbed ahold of his hand, causing a slight blush to form on the taller male’s cheeks.

“Is there anything you want to do here?” the nurse looked at Hyunjin, who’s eyes had not left her ever since they had entered the amusement park. Her eyes met his own pair, which immediately tore away from hers and looked around at the crowded park. Each ride had a long line of people of all ages and genders waiting to go on a spin on the short, adrenaline filled rides.

“As long as you’re by my side, I'll go on anything” y/n chuckled at his comment as they began to shuffle over to the rollercoaster which was a minute or two away from the entrance. “Why are you laughing?” he questioned, a large smile plastered onto his lips as he gazed at the girl beside him whose smile brought him the most happiness he had ever felt in all the years he had been alive.

“You’re cheesy” her smile never left her face as the pair conversed as if they were lifelong friends, and not nurse and patient.

Three hours had passed by within a blink of an eye. Hyunjin and y/n strolled across the high streets, the aroma of freshly baked bread filled the area as they had left the nearby bakery after purchasing a couple of pastries. Hyunjin never felt so happy ever, his other personality hadn't even made an appearance for a couple of days now and honestly, even he was surprised.

“Fuck” Hyunjin snapped his head towards y/n who was searching inside of her bag in frustration. A deep sigh left her lips as she turned towards Hyunjin who was watching in curiosity. “Can we quickly go to my apartment? I think I left one of my files on my desk” without any hesitation, the black haired boy nodded.

The way back to her apartment wasn't too long, as y/n lived relatively close to where they were previously. Entering her apartment, Hyunjin scanned the area, taking in every small detail of it. In his line of vision, he could make out a picture of y/n with who he assumed were her parents and siblings, or they could be friends, he couldn't assume.

“You can sit down” he came back to his senses after hearing the girls voice signalling for him to sit on the black couch which was placed in front of a television, which looked like it hadn't been turned on for weeks. He shifted his vision towards the nurse who was stuffing her files into her bag and moving to take a seat beside hyunjin.

Silence filled the room as the two sat, staring at anything but each other, although it was rather a comfortable silence and not uncomfortable in the slightest, well at least to Hyunjin. That was until y/n sighed softly, Hyunjin’s eyes landed on her face, his heartbeat picking up its pace just by staring at her features closely.

“Did they tell you?” her question made Hyunjin confused, tell him what? He shook his head lightly and the girl looked down, and he could swear he saw her lips turn into a frown. “They said I was done with you, im being moved to another patient, this is our last time together” she was still looking down, playing with her fingers nervously.

Hyunjin’s face dropped, he swore his heart had stopped beating as the cold sweat began to come again, god please not now. “N-no you can't leave me, not yet,” his voice was shaking, he didn't want to lose her. Y/n was the only source of happiness in his life, no other nurse could take her place.

“Hyunjin, are you okay? You’re shaking” all of a sudden, the boy leaped out of his seat and grabbed the girl by her throat. “Hyunjin!” the girl managed to scream as his tears got replaced by the look of anger, his eyes turned dark as he grabbed onto the vase placed on the coffee table. The happy go lucky Hyunjin was soon replaced by his biggest fear, the Hyunjin that killed not only his father but his whole teenage life.

The nurse’s hands tried to pry off the boys but it was no use, his strength was on a completely new level to hers. So this was his other personality, the one the other nurses had warned her off all of this time, and now she was experiencing it first hand.

“One side of me wants to love you but the other wants to see your blood spill from every inch of your body” he let out a sinister chuckle as he violently smashed a part of the vase against the table, shards scattering all over the room. “Look what you’ve done to me” he sighed as he placed the sharp tip of the glass vase against her neck. Her breathing began to quicken, panic.

“Thank you for letting me experience the feeling of being loved, now we can leave together” she screamed but it all turned silent as the sharp shard was pushed into her neck, killing her instantly. Although that was when Hyunjin quickly snapped out of it, what had he just done? His heart dropped as he grabbed the body of the girl he gained deep feelings for, he just killed her.

“Don't worry y/n, i'll join you now” his shaking hands grabbed another shard as he screamed out at the world before closing his eyes, taking his last breath. He was certain he would never go back to that place ever again. He wouldn’t be like that again.

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raifuujin · 4 years

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Thoughts on CoAi's viability? It's something I've always liked in *theory*, but in practice precious few people elaborate on what they'd actually *do* together as adults (or even grown teenagers). There's a few that advanced the idea of her working in forensic pathology, but I really can't see her wanting to get close to the crime-and-punishment field ever again if she has a choice.

Okay, so. CoAi is a ship that could work. Obviously, as a fandom concept in the same vein as KaiShin, but it has the potential.

The problem (and the thing that turned me off from being able to enjoy the ship myself) is that: people who actually put content out for the ship make it feel so very toxic and, yeah, kinda something that could only exist in a short term way with no explanation for why things would work out.

(The ‘what they’d do’ as a future and what kind of jobs people would have doesn’t bother me quite as much, as plenty of fics exist as a general idea without focusing on anything big. Sure, some have a focus on college, or jobs, or children, but most gen works don’t. I suppose CoAi/ShinShi might have a smaller proportion of content that focuses on topics like that, but I’d be the first to admit I don’t have as much frame of reference other people might have. If I were to spitball a career, I’d pick something where Shiho works with kids or possibly take after her parents and work in a clinic. Basic interest in wanting to help because she’s had far to much guilt over the harm she’s done, and in general I think she gets along well with kids and having involvement in the younger generation feels right for her. Her age and older feels like it might still be awkward for her to talk with, but kids are good for her. She might have good mind for science stuff and logic, but I agree she’s unlikely to work in crime-related jobs, even if it’s to stop crime rather than commit them. I also don’t see her wanting to work in labs.)

As far as overall viability, I just wish people would go the KaiShin route with CoAi/ShinShi at least a little more than what I’ve seen. Not so much the ‘entirely change their personalities to the form I prefer’ (that already happens regardless), but more the blatant ‘I don’t care about canon because this could never be canon anyway, so I’m going to have fun with it’. KaiShin might have an easier time because it’s super easy to ignore canon when you make the guys gay, but really. It’s super easy to ignore the childhood romance canon when it comes to fic writing. Just go with a ‘yeah, we care a lot about each other, but it’s kinda like siblings’. You take that stance, and then you could have a more solid setup for how to make it more comfortable as a ship. Shinichi could start to be more protective of Shiho. Shiho canonically starts to develop a crush, but you could write Shinichi start to realize she’s crushing or start getting self conscious or however people want the actual ship to start sailing.

But for the love of all that is holy, you cannot keep sarcastic barbed-tongue Haibara being verbally abusive and cutting him down at random. For a viable, healthy ship... Look, I’ve been on here saying that a little bickering isn’t toxic because how the characters are presented reacting to it makes it seem like they’d never get into huge arguments that would hurt the other, and I’m sure some of it applies to people who throw insults around, too. It could work, I’ve seen people who look to be great friends throw around good natured insults and it looks fun. But that’s not ever how any sarcastic CoAi feels like in text form, because by nature of the medium, there’s no indication if there’s knowing smiles and little laughs surrounding it, so most of the time it feels painfully deadpan and comes off as hurtful, usually when Haibara/Shiho is insulting Conan/Shinichi specifically. That shouldn’t be what half of their relationship is like.

And quite frankly, with what we do have of their canon personalities, the two really don’t feel like they’d be the type to be the cynical types who play off each other. When Shinichi’s romantically interested in someone, he might could tease a little, but he’s super easy to tease back, and teases always 100% come with a smile. Haibara we see get soft when people are making a genuine effort to be nice, so as Shiho, if she were together with Shinichi? She’d tone down on snide remarks, and would also be more likely to tease every once in a while with her own small smile. In canon she’s been healing, she feels a little safer, she can get PO’d that Genta ruined the curry they were making and now has to supervise the kids so they won’t buy candy at the store. She’s not the same person who tried to kill herself (x2) out of guilt/despair, and she’s not the person who sits in a soccer stadium with sunglasses on trying to stay disconnected from everything. Fanon Shiho deserves the same development of being soft, lively, engaged in the world, being able to feel comfortable with where she is in life. Then, ShinShi would feel more sustainable in the long term and viable to me.

(And, even though I started this saying ‘CoAi’, ShinShi would feel like the most comfortable. And I don’t mean it like a ‘well, more their relationship when they’ve grown’, I mean they should both take the antidote. CoAi works fine and mostly the same, but only in the plotline where Shinichi becomes resistant to the antidote. Even if you remove romantic w/ Ran reasons for wanting his body back, Shinichi still had a life and friends and everything to go back to, so he’d want to return to that, and Shiho would be just as invested in making it happen as she is now for the sake of his happiness. Just, in a ShinShi, story, he’d happen to gain a gf from his time as Conan, and Shiho could be introduced into Shinichi’s existing life instead of building a life for themselves from scratch with the DB as friends and only a select few adults who truly know them.)

#mirrorfalls #rambling #long post #Not too long but pretty long #I've been sitting on some CoAi thoughts for a while and this was a perfect opportunity sorry #I have complicated feels towards CoAi that generally are only positive if I ignore most CoAi blurbs I see in the DC tag #I'm sure some good works exist but I've been too turned off to ever look for it back when I was reading fic #Which I know is how some people do feel about KaiShin XD #The 'I like it in theory but not how 90% of what's out there is written'

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