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hyucksoftie · 6 years

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rose | jeno

genre: angst & some fluff

words. 2.1k+

requested: yes

desc: he's the bad boy everyone warns you about, to you he's the love of your life, but to himself he's the boy that's been hurt one too many times.

a/n: this is long can y'all tell who my bias is 👽 anyways sorry for not posting for like 3 days

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He was like a rose, beautiful and delicate. A rose could go through a harsh winter and still make it out; similar to how Jeno could be hurt over and over and still stay standing. He was a strong soul, and no matter how good the intentions are, Jeno knows to protect himself. It's the rose comparison again. Just like the honey haired boy, a rose had its thorns. You'd have to cut away at them to be able to finally hold the pretty red flower. You'd have to break down at his walls to be able to finally get close to him.

Maybe that's why you were drawn to him. Drawn to his dark leather jacket and soft vanilla scent. You'd always see him with the same 5 people, never straying from his tight knit group. Jeno kept to himself mostly, the only words he'd say to others being 'thank you' or 'excuse me.'

Rumors would usually float around about the boy, talking about how cold and rude he was or asking if you heard that he sells drugs in the shady part of town. Jeno knew when people were talking about him. He'd act oblivious to all the glances and whispers that were sent his way.

The one person he would notice, was you. You were different to him. You felt different. Your group of friends would talk about him as you'd glance over, a look of curiosity on your face. He always preferred you from everyone else. You were nice.

When he walked to his classes, you would smile if you crossed paths, even offering him a small wave. Jeno would be too frozen up to smile or wave back, your figure disappearing before he could collect himself. Once when you caught him smoking behind the school, you didn't run off and tell everyone so you could degrade him. Instead you frowned, even asking him 'why are you doing that to yourself?' It made Jeno feel bad, you had looked genuinely upset.

Instead of distancing yourself from him like most suggested, you found yourself wanting to get to know him. Was he really like they said he was? Or was he the total opposite, an innocent victim of judgmental classmates that liked to spread lies?

One thing was for sure. Jeno did not live up to his bad boy name. He looked soft, too nice to hurt a fly. He was quiet, he did his work and didn't cause distractions in class. It's always been like that. Jeno's always been that way. So why the name?

It all started with a lie, as everything about him does. Some girl Jeno liked at the time gave him a chance and when she realized she didn't like him, she dropped him just like that. To make matters worse, she told everyone he played with her and forced her to do bad things with him.

Everyone quickly turned against Jeno, giving him dirty looks as he walked down the halls.

As always, not you. You'd softly whisper, asking if he's okay. Jeno's eyes would be glued to the floor, not paying you any mind. Despite constantly ignoring you (unintentionally) and your efforts to befriend him, you never gave up or got mad at him. He was a challenge you were willing to take.

It wasn't until you talked with one of his friends, Renjun, that you realized how similar Jeno was to a rose. Thorny, delicate and pretty. Renjun told you all about Jeno, already knowing you from the handful of times he'd talk about you. He knew your intentions were nothing short of genuine.

You learned that Jeno's mother had passed away early in his life, ending up stuck with his angry hurt father. His dad put the blame on Jeno, convinced his mother was gone because of him. Because of those thoughts, Jeno would often get beat by someone that was supposed to care for him. He never tried to fight back, he stood there silently and let his dad let out his hurt on him every single time.

You learned that in 7th grade, someone Jeno considered a friend turned his back on him. The person went from friend to bully.

Jeno has gotten messed with too many times, Renjun would say. The boy was practically immune to the hurt now. It has happened so many times, he could say he was used to it.

Things took a turn for the better when you were finally able to break down Jeno's walls. For the first time in a long time, he was feeling something other than hurt.

"What's it feel like?"

"What does what feel like? Being disliked even though you did quite literally nothing?"

"No silly, I was going to say what's it feel like being cute but if you want to be deep..."

Jeno chuckles, tilting his head so he's facing you. "You should know better than anyone. You're the cutest." You smile and reach for his hand, giving it a squeeze. "Thanks."

He squeezes your hand back, sighing softly. "My pleasure." The stars were bright tonight, but to you Jeno shined the brightest. He rivaled the night sky. You were so in love with him, you would do anything to make him smile that cute smile.

It hasn't been long since you finally gained Jeno's attention, but you knew you were head over heels for the boy.

He was so much better than the rumors you would constantly hear, so much. Your suspicions were right. Jeno was completely and utterly a total softie. He'd blush when you held his hand, refusing to look you in the eye when you brought up the redness in his cheeks.

"Jeno?" His eyes were still on you, humming out a response. "If you don't let anyone in, why did you let me?

Jeno smiles and scoots over to you, wrapping his arms around your frame. "Since day one, I knew you were different from the others. I could feel your niceness from a mile away." You dug your head in his leather clad chest, letting his vanilla scent overtake your nose. He looked good, he smelled good, could Jeno be any more perfect?

"You would ignore me though, I thought you hated me... I hated thinking I was contributing to your hurt." Jeno runs his hands through your hair, shaking his head.

"I never hated you; never will. And you didn't do anything, nothing at all. I've learned to ignore the stares and whispers anyways. I just naturally ignore everything, I guess. It's what comes with constant backstabbing. I don't let myself get close to anyone."

He looks down at you and kisses your temple, "but you're different. My conscious knew you were worth it."

You smile at his words, feeling all giddy inside. Different. He knew you were different from everyone else. That made you happy.

"The guys and I are hanging out tomorrow, I was thinking you could tag along?" You sit up and look down at Jeno, brows furrowed. "Won't I be a bother? Hangouts are supposed to be for friends, not friends plus girlfriend..." Jeno copies your movements and sits up, leaning on his outstretched arms.

He smiles at you and intertwines your hands.

"Don't be silly, Y/N! We all like you. Well- I obviously like you more but the point is! Everyone enjoys your company, you should totally come with." You smile back and nod, "okay sure." Jeno does a cute silent cheer, rocking your intertwined hands. His actions make you laugh.

He hugs your waist, making sure there's no space between the two of you. Jeno would never admit it but he loved skinship with you. "Great. Wait for me after school, we're leaving right after the bell rings~"

You do as Jeno said, you stand at your locker waiting for him to come. The bell had rung, most of the students already gone or waiting for their rides outside.

Jeno still hadn't arrived, you assume he was being held back by a teacher or something.

Someone grabs your hand and you smile assuming it's your boyfriend. But when you turn around you're not met with his sweet chocolate eyes, instead you see the eyes of the last person you wanted to see. Hwang Hyunjin: your ex boyfriend. Your smile immediately drops, guts filling with nerves, awkwardness. What did he want now?

"It's been a while, yeah?" You don't respond, only looking down at your fiddling thumbs.

Hyunjin pins you against the lockers, both of his hands trapping you between him. You tense up, cringing backwards to stay as far from him as possible. "I hear you're with that fuckboy no one likes. I think his name was Jeno? I don't really care enough to be sure." Gulping, you gather the courage to look him in the eye. "Shut the fuck up, Hyunjin. Leave him alone."

He smirks at your words, leaning closer to you. Even though you knew it wouldn't make a difference, you backed up. "Aw, you're defending him. How cute."

You don't know what he's up to or what he wants. All you know was that Hwang Hyunjin was trouble; he was way worse than Jeno but yet people stuck to him and praised him as if he were better. So why did you, the nice goody two shoes who was against all kinds of negativity, go out with the actual devil himself? You were dumb, naive. Dense.

You had a stupid crush and he knew it. He loved playing with you like you were a dumb little rag doll. His personal toy. Hyunjin loved that feeling of power. Especially over someone like you.

"What do you want, Hyunjin?"

He looks down at you and smirks. "Could it be any more obvious, Y/N?"

You glare. "Just spit it out."

Hyunjin's eyes are dark as he looks at you, his tongue licking over his pillowy lips. "I want you." Before you can say anything or push him off, the boy's lips are on yours. His kiss was rough, horrible compared to Jeno. Jeno was sweet, took his time and always mad you feel loved. With Hyunjin you just felt like an object. Something of no importance.

"What the actual fuck?" A familiar voice snaps you out of your frozen state. Finally acknowledging the situation, you glare at Hyunjin and push him off. "Jeno I-"

Jeno shakes his head, eyes glossy and lip quivering. He was used to feeling hurt but fuck, something about seeing you attached to someone else pained him. He never expected you to become a part of the list of all the people who've hurt him.

"Of course. You're just like the rest. You fucked me over just like the rest! I should've known you were the same. You just wanted to lead on poor little Lee Jeno! Have a story to tell to all your friends."

You open your mouth and try to let out words but none were coming out. Hyunjin stood to the side, watching with a smirk.

"Well congrats Y/N, you did it. You made me fall in love with you, go ahead and tell everyone how you played me. I'm sure everyone will love it. Stay the fuck away from me." Jeno walks past you, his form shaking and eyes pouring out tears. The sight broke you. The fact that you added more reasons for him to be suspicious of everyone broke you. You broke him. "Jeno wait!" You shout but to no avail.

Jeno leaves the school building, hugging himself. When he nears his friends they all quiet down, curious of what happened. "Jeno what's the-" He gives Jaemin a teary eyed glare, shutting him up. "Let's just go."

"What about Y/-" Jeno doesn't even want to hear your name right now. "I said let's go!" They all quiet down and pile into the car, not dragging the situation further.

As Jeno rode away, you stayed at the school, not wanting to accept the fact that the love of your life had just pushed you away. "It's okay, doll. I'm here for you. I'll treat you much better than him." Hyunjin puts on his best reassuring voice, pulling you into his chest. You're too frozen up to react.

You hurt Jeno. You thought you could open him up, slowly make him stop being so cautious of everyone. But instead you'd hurt him.

He was a rose, and just like a rose that's been through too much, he stopped being strong. Like a weakening rose in winter, he'd finally given in and let the winter storm engulf him. You'd been the last straw.

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bountyofbeads · 5 years

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Transgender Woman Found Burned Beyond Recognition in Florida, Officials Say https://nyti.ms/2LWvjcW

Eighteen trans Black women have been murdered this year. Most were under 30.

SAY THEIR NAMES:

Dana. Jazzaline. Ashanti. Claire

Muhlaysia. Michelle. Paris.

Chynal. Chanel. Zoe. Brooklyn.

Denali. Kiki. Jordan. Pebbles.

Tracy. Bailey. Bee.

The Senate must pass The Equality Act and reauthorize the Violence Against Women Act.

We have to find ways to end the bigotry that leads to this violence.

Read more below:

https://t.co/iBFhXk8eg6

Transgender Woman Found Burned Beyond Recognition in Florida, Officials Say

Bee Love Slater was the 18th transgender person known to have been killed in the United States this year, according to the Human Rights Campaign.

By Mariel Padilla and Neil Vigdor | Published Sept. 14, 2019 | New York Times | Posted September 16, 2019 |

The body of a black transgender woman, said by the authorities to have been burned beyond recognition, was found inside an abandoned car in Florida.

The victim, Bee Love Slater, 23, was the 18th transgender person known to have been killed in the United States this year, according to Human Rights Campaign, a civil rights organization that tracks anti-transgender violence.

The authorities had to use dental records to identify her after she was found on Sept. 4 just outside of Clewiston, Fla., a city on the southwest side of Lake Okeechobee, Steve Whidden, the Hendry County sheriff, said Saturday night in an interview.

Sheriff Whidden said investigators were treating the case as a homicide, but had not uncovered any evidence to suggest that the killing was a hate crime.

“We don’t have anything that would show that it’s a hate crime right now,” he said. “We possibly have a motive, but I can’t say what that is at this time.”

The authorities are examining a series of social media posts directed at Ms. Slater before her death, according to Sheriff Whidden, who said that while they were not direct threats, they wished harm on Ms. Slater.

“There were some Facebook posts made — that this person needs to die,” said Sheriff Whidden, who would not elaborate on whether posts were made by an individual or more than one person because of the ongoing investigation.

“There are more questions than we have answers,” said Jackson Jackson, a friend of Ms. Slater’s.

Advocates for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender crime victims said Ms. Slater’s death was part of what they described as an alarming spate of violence against transgender people.

The Human Rights Campaign said she was the 18th transgender person to have died by violent means so far this year. In 2018, advocates tracked at least 26 such deaths, the majority of whom were black transgender women.

“These victims are not numbers — they were people with hopes and dreams, loved ones and communities who will miss them every day,” the group said on Twitter after Ms. Slater’s death.

Another friend, Shaq Bailey, said he was heartbroken at the news of Ms. Slater’s death. “She did nothing but smile and have a positive vibe,” he said. “Nobody who knew her would say bad things about her.”

Janet Taylor, a former longtime Hendry County commissioner, said on Saturday that the death jolted the tight-knit city of Clewiston, which is about 65 miles west of West Palm Beach.

“That’s the feel of the community, that this is really a hate crime,” Ms. Taylor said. “Sexual preferences — we can’t be judgmental about that. Our community just wants justice done for her family.”

Ms. Taylor, who is the founder of Glades Lives Matter, a community action group, said Ms. Slater was not from the immediate area and was believed to be from Pahokee, Fla., which is about 30 miles from Clewiston.

“She didn’t deserve what she got,” Ms. Taylor said.

The American Medical Association called violence against transgender people an “epidemic” and voted at a conference in June to adopt new policies to help prevent this violence.

“According to available tracking, fatal anti-transgender violence in the U.S. is on the rise and most victims were black transgender women,” Bobby Mukkamala, an association board member, said in a statement.

The new policies include educating people on the disproportionate number of fatal attacks on black transgender women and supporting a standardized database of hate crimes.

“The number of victims could be even higher due to underreporting, and better data collection by law enforcement is needed to create strategies that will prevent anti-transgender violence,” Dr. Mukkamala said.

Another friend of Ms. Slater’s, Dezmond Bass, said: “She lived in a small town where everyone knew everyone, and it made it easier for her to be targeted. You should be able to be who you want to be without being discriminated against, and we are doing all that we can to make sure she gets justice.”

Violence Against the Transgender Community in 2019

Published by Human Rights Campaign | Posted September 16, 2019 |

In 2018, advocates tracked at least 26 deaths of transgender people in the U.S. due to fatal violence, the majority of whom were Black transgender women. These victims were killed by acquaintances, partners and strangers, some of whom have been arrested and charged, while others have yet to be identified. Some of these cases involve clear anti-transgender bias. In others, the victim’s transgender status may have put them at risk in other ways, such as forcing them into unemployment, poverty, homelessness and/or survival sex work.

While the details of these cases differ, it is clear that fatal violence disproportionately affects transgender women of color, and that the intersections of racism, sexism, homophobia, biphobia and transphobia conspire to deprive them of employment, housing, healthcare and other necessities, barriers that make them vulnerable. HRC Foundation’s “Dismantling a Culture of Violence” report demonstrates how anti-transgender stigma, denial of opportunity and increased risk factors compound to create a culture of violence -- and provides clear ways that each of us can directly make an impact to make our society a safer place for transgender people.

As is too often the case in the reporting of anti-transgender violence, many of these victims are misgendered in local police statements and media reports, which can delay our awareness of deadly incidents. In the pursuit of greater accuracy and respect for transgender and gender expansive people in both life and death, HRC offers guidelines for journalists and others who report on transgender people.

Sadly, 2019 has already seen at least 18 transgender people fatally shot or killed by other violent means. As HRC continues to work toward justice and equality for transgender people, we mourn those we have lost:

Dana Martin, 31, a Black transgender woman, was fatally shot in Montgomery, Alabama, on January 6. Reports stated that she was found in a roadside ditch in her vehicle and pronounced dead at the scene. Daroneshia Duncan-Boyd, an Alabama-based trans advocate, said that “she was a person that was loved by many.”

Jazzaline Ware, a Black transgender woman, was found dead in her Memphis apartment in March. Her death is being investigated as a homicide, according to The Advocate. “Our community in Memphis is mourning the death of Jazzaline Ware, a Black trans woman and beloved friend,” said the Transgender Law Center in a press release. Further details are unknown as of May 31, 2019.

Ashanti Carmon, 27, a Black transgender woman, was fatally shot in Prince George's County, Maryland, on March 30. “Until I leave this Earth, I’m going to continue on loving her in my heart, body, and soul,” said Philip Williams, Carmon’s fiancé. “She did not deserve to leave this Earth so early, especially in the way that she went out.

Claire Legato, 21, a Black transgender woman, was fatally shot in Cleveland on April 15. Local media reports that Legato was shot in the head after an argument broke out between her mother and the suspect. She was taken to a nearby hospital and died from her injuries on May 14. Friends and family took to social media to mourn Legato’s death, remembering her as someone who was “full of life.”

Muhlaysia Booker, 23, a Black transgender woman, was fatally shot in Dallas on May 18. Local media reported that Booker was found dead, lying face down with a gunshot wound near a golf course in east Dallas. In April, Booker was viciously attacked in what Dallas Mayor Mike Rawlings described as “mob violence.” Officers say that there is no indication as of May 20, 2019, that the April attack is linked to Booker’s killing.

Michelle 'Tamika' Washington, 40, a Black transgender woman, was fatally shot in Philadelphia on May 19. Police responded to reports of shots fired in North Philadelphia’s Franklinville neighborhood, according to the Philadelphia Gay News. Washington, who was also known by the name Tameka, was found with several gunshot wounds and transported to Temple University Hospital, where she was pronounced dead. She is remembered by friends and loved ones as a beloved sister and “gay mother.”

Paris Cameron, 20, a Black transgender woman, was among three people killed in a horrific anti-LGBTQ shooting in a home in Detroit on May 25, according to local reports. Alunte Davis, 21, and Timothy Blancher, 20, two gay men, were found dead at the scene and Cameron was taken to the hospital, where she died from her injuries. Two other victims were also shot but survived. “This case illustrates the mortal danger faced by members of Detroit’s LGBTQ community, including transgender women of color," Fair Michigan President Alanna Maguire said.

Chynal Lindsey, 26, a Black transgender woman, was found dead in White Rock Lake, Dallas, with signs of “homicidal violence” on June 1, according to police. The Dallas Police Department has reached out to federal law enforcement to aid in the investigation. As of June 4, no further details were are available

Chanel Scurlock, 23, a Black transgender woman, was found fatally shot in Lumberton, North Carolina, on June 6. Few details are yet public about the crime, but police told a local news outlet they have “great leads” in their investigation. “RIP baby,” wrote a friend on Facebook. “You [lived] your life as you wanted. I’m proud of you for being unapologetically correct about your feelings and expectations of YOU.”

Zoe Spears, 23, a Black transgender woman, was found lying in the street with signs of trauma near Eastern Avenue in Fairmount Heights, Maryland, and later pronounced dead on June 13, according to local reports. “She was my daughter -- very bright and very full of life,” transgender advocate Ruby Corado, the founder and executive director of Casa Ruby, told HRC. “Casa Ruby was her home. Right now, we just want her and her friends and the people who knew her to know that she’s loved.”

Brooklyn Lindsey, 32, a Black transgender woman, was found dead on the front porch of an abandoned home in Kansas City, Missouri, on June 25, according to local news reports. “I love you, Brooklyn Lindsey,” wrote a friend on Twitter. “I shall live on for you. Rest in power, sista.”

Denali Berries Stuckey, 29, a Black transgender woman, was found fatally shot in North Charleston, South Carolina, on July 20. “I lost my best friend, first cousin,” wrote a family member on Facebook. “We were more than cousin. We were like brother and sisters. I love you so much, Pooh.”

Kiki Fantroy, 21, a Black transgender woman, was fatally shot in Miami on July 31. Fantroy’s mother remembered her as having “a heart of gold” and being “a very loving person.” She also pleaded for justice for her daughter, saying, “My baby, my baby. Please help bring justice to my baby.”

Jordan Cofer, 22, was among the nine victims killed in a mass shooting in Dayton, Ohio, on August 4. While Cofer was only out to a handful of close friends and used the pronouns he/him/his on his social media profiles, he is remembered by friends as “extremely bright” and “well-liked.” A friend told Splinter News that “Jordan was probably one of the sweetest people you would ever meet, a true saint, but he was also very scared constantly. He tried to give the best to everyone.”

Pebbles LaDime “Dime” Doe, 24, a Black transgender woman, was killed in Allendale County, South Carolina, on August 4. She was found dead in a car parked in a driveway, according to reports. Doe’s friends and family remembered her as having a “bright personality,” and being someone who “showed love” and who was “the best to be around.”

Tracy Single, 22, a Black transgender woman, was killed in Houston on July 30. “Rest in power and peace Tracy,” wrote Monica Roberts, Houston-based transgender advocate. “You were taken away from us way too soon.”

Bailey Reeves, 17, a Black transgender teen, was fatally shot in Baltimore, Maryland, on September 2. As of September 6, little is known about the circumstances surrounding her death. Reeves is the 17th known trans person killed this year.

Bee Love Slater, 23, was brutally murdered in Clewiston, Florida, on September 4. Slater is remembered by loved ones as someone "with a really, really sweet heart" who "never harmed anyone."

Additionally, HRC is deeply concerned about the deaths of Johana ‘Joa’ Medina and Layleen Polanco, whose stories we are following closely. Medina, 25, died at a hospital in El Paso, Texas just hours after being released from ICE custody. She suffered severe health complications that went untreated while she was in detention, according to Diversidad Sin Fronteras. Her exact cause of death is not yet known. Polanco was found dead in a cell at Riker's Island on June 7.

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