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loveinpanem-blog · 6 years

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A Candle For The Caribbean: Charity Anthology

Titles and Summaries of Stories and Fanart

The outpouring of support from artists and donors has been truly inspiring. As of today, we’ve raised $1650.00 in funds, all donated directly to organizations supporting the ongoing relief efforts in the Caribbean.

We’ve received the first proof of the anthology, including the list of works being offered. For a minimum donation of $10.00 to any reputable charity supporting victims of Hurricane Maria, you can receive this collection in e-format containing all the creative works from The Hunger Games, Outlander and Overlander fandom, to be published on December 7th. We will continue accepting receipts through the end of January, 2018. Send these to [email protected].

Below the cut, you will find a preview of all the stories and works being offered, including the titles, authors and story summaries or opening paragraphs of the works to be published.

We here at Love in Panem cannot express enough how grateful we are for the number and quality of stories and the number of people who’ve stepped up to contribute to this cause. This includes the wonderful banner makers and betas who have made this anthology a success.

Without further ado, find the list and summaries of artists below. A warning: It is quite a long list :)

Table of Contents

The Hunger Games

5 Winds by @lollercakesff

Summary: When the winds of fate blow, there is no stopping these emergency responders from rushing in. After five disasters and five collisions of fate, can they finally find each other?

Capitol Gym by @neverstopwhileyoureahead

Summary: Katniss would do just about anything for her little sister. It's why she reluctantly agreed to be her plus one to Capitol Gym. What she didn't expect was for a blue-eyed employee to make her suffering a little more bearable.

Como Duele by @mega-aulover

Synopsis: Katniss Everdeen world flips upside down after her beloved father dies. She takes on the responsibility to care for her mother and the Coffee Bean Hacienda. Everything goes from bad to worse when she is forced to marry Peeta Mellark. In the midst of a storm things take a dangerous turn when people who have crossed her end up dead.

Costra Nostra by @shesasurvivor

Summary: Katniss Everdeen is a performer for The Mockingjay, a hotel and casino run by mob boss Coriolanus Snow in Las Vegas. Peeta Mellark is the accountant who might be a plant for the FBI in The Mockingjay’s business office. The two are instantly drawn to each other, but how can anything possibly end well when they are on two opposing sides? Especially when the mob will have no problem harming Katniss’s sister if she betrays them. 1950’s historical AU set in mob-run Las Vegas.

Death, Time, Love by @elricsister

Summary: verlark contemporary AU. Katniss has lost everything, she hates Peeta and just wants to be left alone. The visit of three strangers spanning 12 years will hopefully change that.

Forever, My Muse by @alwayspeetamellark

He needed new inspiration and fast. It was over four months ago he had his last exhibition and this creative rut had found him. Simply nothing was coming out right. He had tried everything, from taking a trip and getting away from things but to no avail. He still lacked the inspiration and when he put brush to canvas nothing came to life, as it should have.

From Peeta with Love by @PatriziaNordsee

July 2017 - Peeta / Lufthansa Flight 707 to Puerto Rico

10 hours is a long time. How will I spend 10 hours sitting in the economy class of a plane with nothing to do but wait? Nothing to do with my hands and nothing to think about but the reason why I left Germany and am now on a plane to Puerto Rico. Left the country I called home for such a long time.

Now flying into the Caribbean. 10 hours is all it will take to bring me from Frankfurt in Germany to Juan Santa María International Airport. 10 hours to transfer my soul from Germany to Puerto Rico.

Hurricane Force 5 by @thegirlfromoverthepond

Peeta was exhausted.

Or rather, he was beyond exhaustion.

He wished he could find solace in the landscape in front of him. The endless blue of the sea, marked here and there with little puffs of white, meeting the sky, in a never ending palette of blues. It would be breathtaking if he could take his mind of the disaster all around him.

Let’s Hurt Tonight by @katnissdoesnotfollowback

Summary: Inspired by (not based on) the film Collateral Beauty and the associated song, Let’s Hurt Tonight by OneRepublic, a short peek into the lives of the Everdeen women. Canon compliant.

Love Letters by @javistg

Summary: Katniss Everdeen learns about her past as she gets ready to face her future. Everlark. Canon-compliant (mostly), Post Mockingjay, Pre-Epilogue.

My Favorite Mistake by @titaniasfics

Summary: They begin as simple acquaintances who quickly become confidantes. When Katniss Everdeen’s friendship with a very-married Peeta Mellark morphs into something deeper, mistakes are made that will change their lives forever.

Panem Cruises by @alliswell21

Synopsis: Everlark meet in a cruise ship, where mishap after mishap brings them to a happily ever after.

Perhaps, Maybe by @everlarkingjoshifer

Weariness bore her sleep addled thoughts as Katniss leaned her head against the car window while rows and rows of unlit mast poles passed by. Blinking slowly she suppressed a yawn as yet another tree the length of a small apartment building whisked by. Furrowing her eyebrows, she tried to guess which kind it could be, but it passed by too quickly and her sluggish thoughts fogged her memory. Unable to conceal yet another yawn Katniss repositioned herself against the all too comfortable seat.

“Tired?” Peeta asked giving her a sweet smile.

‘No shit Sherlock,’ she internally said but thought better of it, choosing instead to just shrug nonchalantly.

Not With Haste by @llmarmalade

Summary: Prim and Peeta were never reaped, Peeta married Delly Cartwright who died and Katniss never married. The Revolution occurred naturally after President Snow died. Prim was killed in the City Circle bombing.

Redemption by @notanislander

She sits alone in the sand overlooking the bay. After pulling the overnight shift at the hospital, this is her favorite place to be. The sounds of the waves crashing and the gulls calling to each other gives her a sense of calm that she cannot seem to find anywhere else. The breeze softly blowing her hair soothes her. She’s glad it’s high tide though, sometimes the smells at low tide are a bit overpowering. She sits there, contemplating the past few days, contemplating her life, contemplating what brought her here to 4. And why she stayed.

Ride Through the Meadow by @savvylark

“Get back on the saddle. Just like riding a bike.” Johanna's words echo in my head as I ride my way through to short cut through the meadow to my favorite park. That’s the problem, dating is nothing like riding a bike. There’s a focus, you can see the terrain ahead of you and know what you’re facing. There’s a clear goal and destination in mind and, if you have a companion on your journey, you keep the same pace, there’s an understanding with the common goal ahead that spurs one another on.

Smitten With You by @litlifelover

These days Katniss enjoys her life as an editor for children's books, which can be stressful at times, but never to the degree of her former career as an event planner. She likes her quiet evenings and lazy weekends, loves that she can visit her family regularly and is able to spend time with her nephews. There’s even the flexibility to meet with Madge after a work day, enjoy a cup of coffee and talk about everything best friends talk about.

Someday by @norbertsmom

Summary: In this Everlark take on West Side Story, Katniss is a Puerto Rican girl living in the Seam neighborhood of the town of Panem. Peeta is a white baker’s son living in the merchant area. Their families each belong to rival gangs. Can the star crossed lovers survive when the feud comes to a head?

That’s How You Change The World by @geekymoviemom

I wake, shivering, in the dark of the night. Peeta is passed out cold, the morphling I shot into his arm nearly three hours ago keeping the worst of his pain at bay, at least for now. But it’ll be all too soon before he wakes again, startling with the intensity of his agony before he remembers that moving makes it all that much worse.

The Buzz Around Town by @florence68blog

Due to unfortunate circumstances, the relationship between Peeta and Katniss ended before it even began. Ten years later they meet again. However, the only thing Peeta is able to observe is that Katniss is even more unreachable than ever …

The Lucky Ones by @historywriter2007

West Virginia, December 1969.

“Peeta Mellark, you need to get back here and fix this right now.” Glimmer screeched.

Peeta stopped halfway down the walk to turn and face his fiancé. Her blue eyes were clouded with anger, he thought she would understand but obviously, he was wrong.

“There's nothing I can do, Glimmer. I got my draft notice, I'm not going to turn my back on my country.” Peeta raised the letter in his hand, his blood began to boil, how could she not see this was the right thing to do?

Too Familiar by @hutchhitched

Katniss smiled as she read the text messages that flashed on her phone screen. Her co-worker and friend, Peeta Mellark, and she had enjoyed a running commentary for the past few months—ever since they both begrudgingly admitted that they shared the same corny sense of humor. Katniss found him remarkably funny and had lost track of the times she’d (literally) laughed out loud at a quip he’d sent.

Unsafe Waters by @jobanana7

Sept 6th JFK international airport The day was finally here. After a month apart from his love, he was coming home and he was ready for it. Before his company asked him to go to New York to do this presentation that Peeta hadn’t thought would take so long, he asked her dad for permission to marry her before he left. Had she known he did she would’ve teased at him for sure but he was ready with his Grandma Sae’s rings on his person and a beautiful would be bride by his side. He was ready. He just hoped she would accept his proposal.

When You Kiss Me…by @chele20035

Dog trainer Katniss Everdeen got to help wounded vet, Peeta Mellark. Neither one knew what to expect when they receive invites to a special New Year’s Eve ball in London, England.

Outlander

Jamaica by @bonnie-wee-swordsman

Summary: A scene that we haven’t yet gotten in Outlander canon, even four books afterward: Brianna tells Jamie about the dream she had about her parents being in Jamaica. Based upon Voyager (Chapter 61) for Jamie’s side of the event, and Drums of Autumn (Chapter 40) for Brianna’s, so expect spoilers for both.

Memories Of The Moon by @phoenixflames12

He sits on the white boulder below the cave, gazing up at the moon. The cup of weak stew that Young Jamie had brought up that evening clasped between hands that are numb with cold.

Multifandom

Hackers Unite by @lilyaceofdiamonds

Alec Hardison sat at his computers a few days after the Irma and Maria hurricanes hit the islands in the Caribbean. Parker and Eliot were off buying supplies, they had just finished a job in New York. Hardison was just testing a program to search for any potential clients that Leverage, Inc could take on when his laptop dinged with a new email.

Sense8

Resist and Bite by @fiftyeightminutes

BPO has Wolfgang. The August 8th cluster have Whispers and Jonas. What is the cluster willing to risk in order to get back their missing piece?

Fanart

Jamie and Claire by @ombradellaluna

Gregor the Overlander by smokestarrules (deviantart)

Banner Makers

@akai-echo

@everlarkingjoshifer

@damndonnergirls

See you on December 7th!

#love in panem #a candle for the caribbean #charity anthology #fic preview #lip #the hunger games #outlander #overlander #sense8

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makinomariasama · 6 years

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Translation: Blog Post: April 1st, 2018

Enjoy, and please don’t repost without credit!

<3 Kishimoto Yumeno-chan <3

Today, April 1st, is Yume's birthday Yume, happy birthday *

Hina Fes Yumerin solo song Maria listened to it today ♪ Yume is a good singer :) I thought.

Since I was a Kenshuusei, I have the image that Yume really practiced the fine details of singing. At singing lessons, I thought, Yume is amazing. * Yume, today too, you were really shining *

Yume, have a LOVE Rin year *

Play. Live. Raise. Let's Go to SATOYAMA & SATOUMI 2018

Hello! Project 20th Anniversary!! Hello! Project Hina Fes 2018

Today too, truly, thank you very much :)

<3 Tasaki Asahi-chan <3

I saw Asahi-chan <3 I was able to see her two days in a row <3

Yesterday, Asahi-chan said, "Maria, did you grow?" :) <3 And today, Asahi-chan said, "Maria, are you taller than you were yesterday??" :) <3 :) <3 Asahi-chan is cute Maria's beloved Asahi-san <3 Maria was super happy to be able to see Asahi-chan

Let's Go to SATOYAMA & SATOUMI 2018 Hina Fes 2018's Secrets

To be continued in the next MariBlo Look forward to it okay

Maria-chan's News

Anime "MAJOR Second" Play Ball Soon!

NHK General April 2nd from 4:20pm~4:45pm

[MC] Naitsu’s Hanawa Nobuyuki-san, Tsuchiya Nobuyuki-san Morning Musume 18’s Makino Maria

[VTR Appearances] Maeda Kenta Sumitani Ginjiro Akiyama Shogo Fujiwara Natsumi-san (playing Daigo) Nishiyama Koutarou-san (playing Hikaru) Kyuso Nekogami (OP theme)

Please definitely watch Pekorinko

Today's starting line up And Today's Hokkaido sky blue jerseys And LOVE <3 Nakata Shou

I got texts from my older sister in Sapporo (t/n: not her real older sister, just a friend)

Shou-kun hit a homerun ♪ This is a picture of Shou-kun rounding the bases right after hitting the homerun. It's a photo from a little bit away from the big screen, so it's small.

Thank you <3 Onee-chan <3 <3 (t/n: a way to refer to your older sister, or a friend who is older than you)

Hokkaido Nippon Ham Fighters They wore the new Hokkaido sky blue jerseys for the first time, and will continue to through this season. Maria <3 LOVE Fighters

I hope there’s lots of fun and happiness tomorrow too

* Makino Maria *

#makino maria #morning musume #morning musume 18 #hello project #blog post translation #blog april 2018

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architectnews · 3 years

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This Is Schönau! Mannheim

This Is Schönau! Mannheim Buildings, Germany Architecture Competition Images

This Is Schönau! Mannheim Design

25 Nov 2020

This Is Schönau! Mannheim Urban redevelopment

Design: BOARD, Rotterdam, NL

Location: Schönau, north of Mannheim, Germany

This Is Schönau! Diverse, Connected and Communal

BOARD takes diversity and communal living to the next level.

The Rotterdam-based architecture office BOARD – known for producing and publishing MONU Magazine on Urbanism – takes diversity and communal living to the next level with their urban design project “This Is Schönau! Diverse, Connected and Communal” that reached the final phase in a competition for a new neighborhood in Schönau, a district in the north of Mannheim, Germany.

1: View of the new quarter from a north-westerly direction with the redesigned tram loop in the background

2: Site

6 Blocks and 3 Open Spaces

To create a new connecting center with a social cohesion in Schönau, we propose to network this new center as far as possible with the surrounding streets and paths. This creates 6 city blocks and 3 open space zones. With open but space-encompassing u-shaped buildings, a clearly structured urban area is created. The different depths, heights and typologies of the buildings will enable diverse living spaces for different target groups.

3: 6 Blocks and 3 Open Spaces

4: The new quarter

5: View from the southwest with the block with the bee garden in the foreground

The Block

A semi-public footpath runs through 5 of the 6 blocks connecting the semi-public green inner courtyards and the new quarter with its context while opening up the blocks even further. Nevertheless, the open u-shaped blocks create intimate spaces and a sense of security that the existing row buildings did not provide. On the edge of the blocks are private gardens for the ground floor apartments. All apartments are accessed from the outside of the block.

Schönau Square, Tram Forum and Community Park

The redesigned loop of the tram with 3 different multifunctional open spaces will contribute to a positive and secure identity of the new center. In the center the “Schönau Square” is being built with trees, benches and a sports field; in the south the “Tram Forum” with a new tram stop, a temporary market and a stage in front of the youth center; and in the north, the “Community Park” with opportunities for urban agriculture and the “Schönen Au”, a body of water that stores rainwater.

6: The Block

7: Schönau Square, Tram Forum and Community Park

8: A clear but Varied Urban Structure

A Clear but Varied Urban Structure

The 6 city blocks create a clear but varied 1- to 5-storey building structure, which relates to the building heights of the surrounding area, but whose density remains flexible. The grocery store and the commercial uses will be located on the ground floors of the eastern blocks. Commercial uses would also be possible in small form within the quarter. Common areas for the quarter are proposed for some of the taller buildings.

9: 4 Building Typologies in Each Block

4 Building Typologies in Each Block

In order to provide living spaces for different income groups, age groups and household sizes, 4 different building typologies are created in each block, which differ from one another in terms of the access (through which the residents can access the green inner courtyards), building depth, building height and orientation. So “garden living” is being created on the ground floors and “gallery living”, “city living” and “district living” on the upper floors.

10: Sections

11: 5 Green Courtyards and 1 Roof Garden

5 Green Courtyards and 1 Roof Garden

The 5 green inner courtyards with their different themes and plantings – inspired by the interests and geography of Schönau – will motivate the residents to appropriate the spaces contributing to a feeling of belonging and community. The existing playground becomes one of the courtyards. There is a “flower garden”, “tree garden”, “learning garden” and a “bee garden”. Additionally there is a “roof garden” on the grocery store and all existing trees that have been preserved receive signs with information.

THIS IS SCHÖNAU – Building Information

Title: This Is Schönau! Diverse, Connected and Communal Project: Urban redevelopment Date: September 2020 Type: Limited 1-phase realization competition Organizer: City of Mannheim, Germany Participants: Final round: 14 Location: Mannheim, Germany Site: Schönau, a district in the north of Mannheim

Programme: Residential development with a public space around a tram stop Surface: 4.6ha Status: Competition Awards: Finalist Team: Bernd Upmeyer, Chiara De Mattia, Maria Heinrich

BOARD

BOARD Office Profile:

BOARD (Bureau of Architecture, Research, and Design) was founded in 2005 and is active in many fields: as an architecture, urban design, and design practice, as a research board and as a platform for comparative analysis on urban issues through its bi-annual journal MONU – Magazine on Urbanism. BOARD won several prizes recently in prestigious international architecture and urban design competitions. Among others: The House of Arts and Culture in Beirut, Lebanon; The Estonian Academy of Arts in Tallinn, Estonia; and The New Headquarter for Wexford County Council in Ireland.

In 2006 BOARD collaborated with STAR – strategies + architecture and the Office for Metropolitan Architecture (OMA) to update the study “The Image of Europe” that was exhibited in April 2006 in the centre of Vienna, Austria during Austria’s presidency of the European Union.

Since 2012 BOARD is part of the group, led by STAR, that has been chosen as one of the new six teams of architects and urban planners appointed by the Atelier International Grand Paris (AIGP) to be part of the Scientific Committee for the mission: Grand Paris: pour une métropole durable. The work of BOARD has been exhibited all around the world and in places such as Moscow, Berlin or Paris.

Bernd Upmeyer is the founder of BOARD and editor in chief of MONU – Magazine on Urbanism. He studied architecture and urban design at the University of Kassel (Germany) and the Technical University of Delft (Netherlands).

From 2004 until 2007 he taught and did research as Assistant Professor at the department of Architecture, Urban Planning and Landscape Planning at the University of Kassel. In 2010 he taught as Adjunct Professor at the department of Urban Design at the HafenCity University Hamburg.

In 2012 he was a guest critic at the Berlage Institute‘s first-year postgraduate research studio “Anarcity”. In 2013 he lectured and participated in a discussion about architecture, urbanism and media at Strelka’s Urban Studies Session in Moscow.

Upmeyer frequently writes for international publications and magazines. He holds a PhD (Dr.-Ing.) in Urban Studies from the University of Kassel (Germany). Upmeyer is the author of the book Binational Urbanism – On the Road to Paradise. The book examines the way of life of people who start a second life in a second city in a second nation-state, without saying goodbye to their first city. Upmeyer coined the term “binational urbanism”.

BOARD employs an international team of architects and planners and collaborates with national and international external consultants and specialists.

This Is Schönau! images / information from Dutch architects BOARD, 251120

Drawings, text and images © BOARD, Rotterdam, The Netherlands

Location: Mannheim, Germany, western Europe

Mannheim Architecture

Mannheim Buildings

Architecture in Mannheim

MVRDV with Traumhaus redefine affordable suburban housing Design: MVRDV partnered with Traumhaus image © Made by Mistake Former US Army Barracks in Mannheim

Kunsthalle Mannheim – German Architecture Competition Architect: von Gerkan, Marg and Partners (gmp) image © gmp Kunsthalle Mannheim Architecture Competition

Ephemerality and Architecture MOINOPOLIS Mannheim

Architecture in Germany

German Architecture

German Architecture Designs – chronological list

German Architecture News

German Buildings

German Architect

Karlsruhe building designs on e-architect:

Karlsruhe Medical Centre Design: gmp – von Gerkan, Marg und Partner Karlsruhe Medical Centre

Constitutional Court, Karlsruhe Design: West 8 Constitutional Court Karlsruhe

Comments / photos for This Is Schönau! in Mannheim page welcome

Website: MVRDV

The post This Is Schönau! Mannheim appeared first on e-architect.

#e-architect

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covid19worldnews · 3 years

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Tennis

Tennis is a U.S. sports magazine devoted to the sport of tennis. The print magazine is published eight months per-year, while the magazine also operates a website, Tennis.com.

History

The magazine was established in May 1965, published out of Chicago with a regional focus.[2] The tennis boom of the 1970s resulted in a rapid expansion of the magazine, both in scope and circulation. In addition to top tennis stars, celebrities like Johnny Carson and Farrah Fawcett appeared on the cover.[2] It was owned by Golf Digest / Tennis Magazine and sold to the New York Times Company.

Miller Publishing bought the magazine in 1997 from The New York Times Company.[3] It brought on two retired champions as part owners and contributors: first Chris Evert in 2000 then Pete Sampras in 2003.[4] In the early 2010s the circulation was 600,000 subscriptions, the majority of which were purchased by the United States Tennis Association (USTA) for its members.[1][5]

In 2014, publisher and USTA board member Jeff Willams purchased controlling interest in Tennis Media Company, owner of the magazine and its offshoot website.[5] In 2017, Sinclair Broadcast Group, owner of Tennis Channel, acquired Tennis Media Company for $8 million, seeking to build synergies between the properties.[6]

Content

Aside from articles about the most recent events and most active players, the magazine also includes the recent ranking for both ATP and WTA, as well as brief summaries of the future tournaments, their participants and the past winners.

Chris Evert has her own personal section in the magazine—usually the first page—which is called “Chrissie’s Page”. Aside from Evert, other famous players and coaches also contribute to the magazine, Pete Sampras, Paul Annacone, former coach of Sampras, is the Senior Instruction Editor and Brad Gilbert, former coach of Andre Agassi and Andy Roddick, is Touring Instruction Editor.

“The 40 Greatest Players of the Tennis Era” (2005)

In celebration of its 40th anniversary (1965–2005), Tennis published a series rating the 40 best players of those four decades.[7][8]

Pete Sampras

Martina Navratilova

Steffi Graf

Chris Evert

Björn Borg

Margaret Court

Jimmy Connors

Rod Laver

Billie Jean King

Ivan Lendl

John McEnroe

Andre Agassi

Monica Seles

Stefan Edberg

Mats Wilander

John Newcombe

Serena Williams

Boris Becker

Roger Federer

Ken Rosewall

Roy Emerson

Martina Hingis

Evonne Goolagong

Guillermo Vilas

Venus Williams

Jim Courier

Arantxa Sánchez Vicario

Ilie Năstase

Lindsay Davenport

Arthur Ashe

Justine Henin

Tracy Austin

Hana Mandlíková

Lleyton Hewitt

Stan Smith

Jennifer Capriati

Gustavo Kuerten

Virginia Wade

Patrick Rafter

Gabriela Sabatini

“The 50 Greatest Players of the Open Era” (2018)

In celebration of the 50th anniversary of the Open Era in tennis (1968–2018), the magazine published a series rating the 50 best players of those five decades (25 men and 25 women).[9]

Active players are marked in boldface.

Men

1. Roger Federer

2. Rod Laver

3. Rafael Nadal

4. Pete Sampras

5. Novak Djokovic

6. Björn Borg

7. Ken Rosewall

8. Ivan Lendl

9. John McEnroe

10. Jimmy Connors

11. Andre Agassi

12. Mats Wilander

13. Boris Becker

14. Stefan Edberg

15. John Newcombe

16. Guillermo Vilas

17. Jim Courier

18. Andy Murray

19. Ilie Năstase

20. Arthur Ashe

21. Gustavo Kuerten

22. Lleyton Hewitt

23. Stan Smith

24. Stan Wawrinka

25. Andy Roddick

Women

1. Serena Williams

2. Steffi Graf

3. Martina Navratilova

4. Margaret Court

5. Chris Evert

6. Billie Jean King

7. Monica Seles

8. Venus Williams

9. Justine Henin

10. Evonne Goolagong

11. Martina Hingis

12. Maria Sharapova

13. Arantxa Sánchez Vicario

14. Kim Clijsters

15. Lindsay Davenport

16. Virginia Wade

17. Jennifer Capriati

18. Tracy Austin

19. Hana Mandlíková

20. Gabriela Sabatini

21. Amélie Mauresmo

22. Victoria Azarenka

23. Angelique Kerber

24. Caroline Wozniacki

25. Na Li

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#tips #>25 #map #>More #restaurants #>What #stay #>BACK #ff865c;#><strong>Local #FFB53A;#texplorer #texas #marfa #marfatx #traveltexas #localadventurer #><strong>Pro

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collegeessayguy · 7 years

Photo

This post was inspired by a resource I first created for the NACAC Pasadena College Fair and then rewrote after an inspiring conversation with Maria Furtado, Executive Director of Colleges That Change Lives. To hear that podcast “Colleges That Change Lives: Great Schools You May Not (Yet!) Know About,” click here.

Let’s face it: college fairs can be really overwhelming. To give you a sense, here’s a photo I took of one:

You walk into this giant room lined with rows and rows of tables filled with college reps and nervous students lined up ready to ask their questions and your first reaction is like, “Whuuuuuut” and then (if you’re kind of an introvert, like me) you want to either run the other way or just go sit in the corner somewhere and text your friend, “Where u at?”

Here’s a secret: you’re not alone.

There are tons of students and adults and (let’s face it) even college reps who are overwhelmed by college fairs too.

But guess what? There’s a way to make your college fair efficient, productive and (get this) even fun.

How? Below are five ways.

And bee tea dubs, if you’re a counselor, teacher or parent who wants to print this out and give it out to your students, you can totally do that by clicking on the link below:

>> DOWNLOAD THE PDF <<

1. Decide on a goal for your college fair experience. Why are you going in the first place? Here are some reasons that students at the above college fair shared with me when I asked them why they were there:

“To like, find out about some schools.”

“To learn about, like, college…?”

“Because my counselor/parents are making me.” (Props for being honest, at least.)

Here are some better reasons to go to a college fair (that will actually help you get into college):

To make a meaningful connection with a rep from a college that a) you’re interested in and b) that tracks demonstrated interest.

To generate content for your “Why us” essay.

Lemme break those down for you right quick:

Demonstrated interest is a system some colleges use to track which students are super duper interested in their school (and therefore more likely to attend). Think of it as “scoring points” with a college. Some ways you can score demonstrated interest points include a) requesting information from the college, b) liking the school’s Facebook page, c) interviewing.

For more on “demonstrated interest,” check out

this blog post

called Demonstrated Interest: A Brief and Practical How-To Guide, or

this podcast episode

with Monica James. The “Why us” essay is a supplemental essay required by many schools that asks some version of, “Why would you like to attend our school?” Why am I telling you this? Because (write this down): You can ask the school rep some specific questions and, in effect, have that rep help you write your “Why us” essay. (I’ll explain how in a sec.) Plus, you can write in that essay, “When I spoke to [insert rep name] at [insert college fair] she shared that…” which could demonstrate even more interest. #DoubleBonus

How do you check the demonstrated interest box and generate great material for your “Why us?”

2. Prepare 3-5 interesting, specific questions for the college reps. Why do this? Because specific, interesting, questions will lead to more specific, interesting conversations, and the rep is more likely to remember you. Why is that potentially a good thing? In some cases, the rep you meet at the college fair may be the one who ends up reading your application. (Really? Yes.) Not all the time, but sometimes--and this is especially true for smaller schools.

What should you ask? Here are some quick DOs and DON’Ts:

DON’T

Don’t ask anything you can easily Google:

“What’s your student-to-faculty ratio?” “Is it cold there?” “Do you have Biology?”

Don’t ask general questions:

“What’s your school like?” “Is your [fill in the blank] program good?” (They’ll all say it’s great.)

Do ask specific questions that invite a personal response.

“What are the three coolest things about your school?” "Where do you like to eat on campus?"

Do ask specific questions relevant to your major:

“Do students have access to film equipment during their freshman year?” “How easy is it to take classes in the School of Journalism if I major in Physics?”

Stressed about the questions? Not sure what to ask? Then do this: Go up to the rep, smile, extend your hand, give a firm handshake and introduce yourself. Then ask that exhausted rep how they’re doing. (Really? Yeah.) Just connect on a human level. Be present, then just see where the conversation takes you. Monica James (of the podcast I mentioned above) advises students to treat these interactions like a mini interview, saying “more than anything, it’s about your Presence.” So just do all the things your mama taught you, and see what happens.

Want to know another way to avoid being overwhelmed?

3. Spend an hour putting together a preliminary college list before you go. How? Use this resource: How to Create a Great College List.

Then:

4. Pick 3-5 schools from your preliminary list that you really want to talk to. Why 3-5 reps? Because depth is better than breadth. I’d say it’s better to have 10-minute conversations with 3-5 reps than 1-2 minute conversations with 25 reps.

Also: you’re more likely to hit that goal. Once you do, if you feel like it, talk to a few more—BY THAT POINT YOU’RE IN BONUS TERRITORY.

5. Talk to a rep from a school you’ve never heard of, especially one who has no one in front of them. Why? Those reps are more likely to be the actual person reading your application.

In fact, at a recent college fair I went up to five reps who had no one standing in front of them and I asked all five, “Do you track demonstrated interest?” All five said yes. Then I asked, “What are the odds that you’ll be the application reader for a student that you meet here today. Four out of five said yes and the fifth one happened to be a Dean of Admissions for her school, filling in for a rep on maternity leave—BUT HEY, SHE WAS THE DEAN.

Why are these small schools at these fairs? Chances are they are recruiting in your area. In other words, many smaller schools are often “under-represented” from certain parts of the country (yours?), so they’re at the college fair trying to get more students to apply. What does it mean if they don’t have many students from your area? Because schools value diversity (and because there is such a thing as “geographical diversity”) you may be just the kind of diversity they’re looking for… this sometimes means your application may be seen more favorably AND you might even get a little scholarship money. So go talk to these folks!

So let’s re-cap:

To “demonstrate interest” in a college

Generate one gem for your “Why us” essay

Prep 3-5 great questions (or just smile and make a personal connection)

Pick 3-5 schools (not 8-10) to talk to

Talk to at least one rep from a school you’ve never heard of

Sound do-able?

Totally do-able.

Now go do it?

Still not convinced this is worth your time? Wondering how to develop a meaningful/authentic relationship with a rep? Click here to find out how.

#college fair #campus visit #demonstrated interest #college #applying to college

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weneverfreeze · 7 years

Note

Sydney. My dear. I will love you forever if you write samnat for one of those au prompts you just reblogged (im feeling 1, 6, or 7 for them, but really any prompt is fine 😄😄)

Okay sorry this is late Mercedes! This didn’t get a reread, just so you know, and I started writing the ending at around 1 AM and it’s 4:30 (lolol it’s 4:47 now) in the morning right now, so yeah:

1. I’m sleeping over at my friend’s flat from university after study group and just got woken up in the middle of the night by their roommate, who is sitting in the kitchen, listening very loudly to the dirty dancing soundtrack and crying. Like wtf, I didn’t even know they had a roommate and normally I would yell at you but damn you are cute. You really need to stop tho dude, its 4am, some people in this house want to sleep AU

6. We work out at the same gym and you are my declared rival because we have the same workout routine and you are always better than me and on my way to the locker room I passed you in the shower where you were singing the opening of hannah montana and I can still hear you and you switched to the lion king now and even though I hate you I think I am kind of in love with you AU

7. I’m hiding in the bathroom of a restaurant from a spectacularly awful tinder date and you are in a similar situation because a guy at the bar just won’t stop hitting on you and now we are planning an epic escape together even though we only met ten minutes ago AU

WC: 5747

There are two gyms on campus. Two gyms for nearly 40,000 people, so it stands to reason that you’d run into people very rarely. Two gyms, 40,000 people, seven days in a week, fourteen hours give or take each day when they’re open, four floors of exercise equipment and courts and weights and two pools per gym. This isn’t even factoring in her work schedule or classes, but somehow Natasha’s managed to run into this asshole every single time she goes to the gym. Out of both gyms and all the rooms and all the possible exercise routines. Every single time.

The first time she thought maybe it was just coincidence. It happens now and then of course, that someone comes in and has a similar routine to the one she’s perfected over the last six years. Last time it was Clint though, and that was first semester sophomore year, and that was only because Nat asked him. He’d complained the entire time about how hockey’s enough exercise for the both of them, and Nat I’m going to mess up my legs or my arms or my nose, okay, you remember how I got a concussion swimming. Clint came with maybe four times before deciding to do yoga by himself.

Since then Natasha had been alone in her workout routine. Thirty minutes on the bike, thirty doing weights, and thirty on the thigh machine downstairs on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Saturday’s for lazy laps in the pool when she isn’t making burritos at Chipotle. Her routine is simple and easy. In and out within 90 minutes.

But this asshole. Showing up all cocky and self-important. He’s been mirroring her pretty consistently the last month or so. At first it wasn’t that noticeable—he’s cute, maybe, in that sweaty sort of athletic way that she won’t pretend not to like, but she’s dated girls and guys like that before, so—just another body on the bikes a little down the row, or another person curling dumbbells, or another guy waiting for a weight machine.

Then it started being a thing. Nat had glanced over week 1.5 of this whatever-it-is at the same time he had, and they shared a nod and went back to biking. He seemed like an asshole even then. It was something, she figured, to do with how he wore cologne even when working out.

Then, week 2, it had been a very full Wednesday, and the only bikes were right next to each other. He was definitely looking at the display on her machine and she’d never tell Clint or Maria that that was the reason she was walking a little stiffly for three days afterward, because she definitely hadn’t been going a little faster than she should have been and checking his display as well.

Weeks 3 and 4 had been more of the same, except at week 3.5 she’d realized what exactly is so asshole-y about him: he doesn’t sweat, and he bikes further and can lift more than she can. (She’s better overall on the thigh machine, thank you, hockey.) Natasha would be over here straining to go up one last hill while he’d be pedalling easy as anything, scrolling through some article on his phone.

Natasha had been hoping when she walked in today that he wouldn’t be here, but no such luck, and he’d taken the machine she favors. She glances to her left; he catches her look, and raises his water bottle in an obnoxious salute. Inwardly she flips him off.

Only five minutes in. She readjusts her headphones. Five minutes in. She can do this.

The men’s and women’s locker rooms share a wall. Through numerous, painful post-workout showers, Natasha’s determined that unfortunately the wall must be dividing the shower sections of both locker rooms; someone’s been having a field day singing show tunes and pop music and rapping while she’s in the shower.

The variety, she thinks as hangs up her towel, is pretty impressive. Today the singer’s belting out Best of Both Worlds from Hannah Montana.

It’s not unpleasant today, which is surprising. The singer’s voice goes oddly well with the theme song.

The singer switches to Circle of Life. She joins in and they sing together until the water goes cold.

(It goes cold after six minutes.)

New Text Message

Clintyyy: Takeout?

Me: You’re buying

Clintyyy: Hey now, no

Clintyyy: It’s your turn

Me: Don’t make me bring up Budapest again

Me: You owe me

Clintyyy: ….fine

Me: Good

Clintyyy: Preference?

Me: Anything but tacos

Me: Chipotle has me sick of tacos

Me: You’ve never known true taco hatred until even just the smell makes you want to throw ingredients everywhere

Clintyyy: Please tell me you did not do that

Me: (read at 7:39)

Clintyyy: Tasha?

Me: (read at 7:43)

Clintyyy: We gotta pay rent still you’ve got a job right

Me: Of course I do

Clintyyy: Don’t do that to me

Clint’s got fried rice, lo mein, and crab rangoon waiting on TV trays in the living room when she shoulders through the doorway. Or, limps through; she’d done too much on the thigh machine again today, which she’s pretty sure Asshole Guy had noticed. Light from NCIS flickers over his face as he raises an eyebrow. A noodle is hanging out of his mouth.

“Don’t tell Steve,” she says. She plunks down next to him on the couch, pokes his thigh until he gives her more room.

He says, “That’d be embarrassing for you,” and she glares until he raises his hands in surrender. “I won’t, fine; just don’t kill me, okay?”

“Who am I gonna get to rent with me next year if I didn’t have you?” She opens the fried rice and quirks a smile and he bumps his shoulder against hers.

They’ve rented together for two years now after Natasha’s freshman year roommate gave her a photo album of her sleeping at the end of the first semester. She’d spent the majority of spring semester staying over at Clint’s room, which worked out nicely because Clint’s roommate Steve’s just about the nicest most stubborn guy she’s ever met, and he’d only asked them once if they were dating (they weren’t). Most other people have a look that says I don’t believe you when they say they’ve been friends as long as they’ve known each other, but Steve had just nodded and gone back to sketching his calculator.

“We should live with Steve next year,” she says, thinking; it’s October now, if they get a move on they should be able to get a nice place. She steals a bite of noodle from Clint’s container.

Clint pulls a face, but he holds the container closer to her. Nat offers the fried rice in return. “Nah, I’m good.”

She smiles. “To the rice or to Steve?”

He pretends to think about it, stroking an imaginary beard, and she leans into his side and waits. Onscreen Gibbs slaps Tony upside the head again.

“Both,” Clint says. She makes a face. “Kidding. Steve’s rooming with someone next year, they’ve really hit it off, so.” He tilts his head to the side like he’s deliberating and adds, “Or not kidding really, because that kid wheezes so much when he tries to sleep. Snores like you wouldn’t believe.”

“I was there, remember?” she says with a smile, checking the crab rangoon. “Do you want the last one or shall I?”

Clint waves it toward her and says, “What song today?”

She’s been keeping him updated on the gym since he refuses to go. He knows all about The Asshole and The Song Guy. He’s convinced that there’s a love story in the making between the three of them, but since she threatened him (half-jokingly) with a spatula, he’s been keeping that to himself.

“Circle of Life.”

Clint nods and shrugs appreciatively. “Good choice.”

She says, yawning, “Better than the week of Thrift Shop.”

“You love Thrift Shop.”

He starts playing with her hair and it’s so soothing she almost drifts off.

“I do,” she murmurs, yawning again—it feels really very nice—and curling closer. Clint unfolds the blanket along the top of the couch and pulls it over them. “That’s why it was so bad. He didn’t know all the words.”

Clint says something like “Neither do you” but she’s just about asleep now and doesn’t really hear him. Or at least, that’s what she’ll say if he mentions it in the morning.

New Text Message

1-347-867-5309: Hey Nat! Do you wanna study together Saturday?

Me: Who is this

1-347-867-5309: Steve

Me: Ohh right right

1-347-867-5309: You didn’t know it was me did you

Me: Of course I did

Me: I know everything

Steve: Sure

Steve: You’d think that

Steve: Since, y’know, we’re friends and all

Steve: You’d save my phone number

Me: Don’t be offended

Me: I’ve been friends with Clint for fifteen years and I only saved his number since coming to college

Steve: I guess that helps

Steve: Maybe

Steve: Not really. Anyway: study with me?

Me: Worried for the test?

Steve: A little

Me: Me too

Me: Where/what time?

Steve: My apartment? I’m off work at three, so four?

Me: Sounds good

Steve: See ya then

Asshole Guy isn’t there today. Today she’s got her machine again and the world is at peace once more.

To be fair, it’s Tuesday. She never knew for sure, but she strongly suspects Asshole Guy only works out Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, like her. But this week Fury has her working the night shift on the line, so Friday’s workout’s cancelled.

She probably shouldn’t be in today. Her inner thigh is still sore. Steve would kill her if he knew she was straining it—he’s a history and art double major, but, since his dad’s a trainer, he knows a fair amount of things. Including the fact that pushing a hurt muscle is a terrible idea.

Natasha knows that too, though, and it’s starting to hurt more than it had, so she sighs and lets the weights down gently.

“You alright?”

She whips around, ready with a snappy retort for another dude bro trying to tell her how to do her workout. It dies in her throat. Two gyms, 40,000 people, seven days in a week, fourteen hours, an entirely different day, no less, and yet.

It doesn’t help that The Asshole has nice eyes this close. He clears his throat, and that’s when she realizes he’s wearing the khaki pants, blue shirt, and red backpack of a student trainer. He says, “It’s Tuesday. You don’t usually—I mean, this isn’t your max weight, and you usually lift longer than this.”

He’s been watching. Nat raises an eyebrow. “Observant.”

“Part of the job,” he says. His cologne is sharply out of place with all the sweat in the air.

“You work here.” She regrets it the moment she says it; his eyebrows shoot straight up, then settle again. Of course he works here. No one wears khakis to a gym.

Instead of answering he plucks at the hem of his shirt and moves on. “Are you okay? I have to ask when someone lets the weights down like that.”

“Didn’t realize they were that loud,” she says, to have something to say. “I’m fine. Little sore from yesterday.”

The Asshole sets his backpack down and kneels to sort through it, all the while asking about her hydration and whether or not she’s eaten and you know, you’ve gotta rest between these kinds of things, you can’t do the same exercises back to back and expect to be totally fine.

This rubs her wrong. “My work schedule’s different this week,” she snaps. “I’m not an idiot.”

“Sorry,” he says mildly. He hops back to his feet holding a blue crinkly something. Natasha glares up at him and he holds his hands up before saying, “I know you’re not an idiot, just needed to say that. Job description and all that.”

She’s got her arms folded, so when he tosses the crinkly something at her she’s completely unprepared. It bounces off her elbow before she catches it, somehow, on the rebound. It’s a Nutrigrain bar. She stares at him.

The Asshole rubs the back of his neck and says, “It’s blueberry, not too bad if you—I dunno, if you eat that sort of thing.”

“Thanks…?”

“Sam,” he says, starting to walk away.

She says “Natasha” and Sam smiles and walks out of the weight room.

There is a profound silence from the men’s locker room. Today the water stays warm for exactly eight minutes before threatening to crystalize on her skin.

When she’s dry, she squeezes her hair with the towel and dresses. The Nutrigrain wrapper’s in her pocket when Nat pulls on her jeans. She’s not sure, really, why she’s still holding onto it.

New Text Message

Steve: Hey were you working out today? At the Heli?

Me: Yeah, why?

Steve: No reason

Steve: (Steve sent an emoji)

Me: The halo’s not reassuring Rogers

Steve:

Early Wednesday morning she wakes up in Clint’s arms while Tangled plays for the third or fiftieth time. Squinting, she looks up to see that Clint’s awake and bedheaded as ever; she’s still not sure if he styles his hair like that intentionally or if, thanks to the innumerable naps he takes, that’s just the way his hair grows.

She pulls the blanket over her more and Clint starts. “Sorry,” he whispers, grabbing for the remote. He mutes the TV (Rapunzel and Flynn are just about to be trapped in the mine) and Nat closes her eyes again.

“S’okay,” she says sleepily. “How long’ve you been awake?”

“Somewhere around Flynn finding the tower.” He stretches carefully, rests his arm around her again. “You were saying something about Sam? In your sleep.”

“Mmm. No.”

“I think so. Fell asleep with my hearing aids in, so.”

“Your hair’s stupid” is all she says. He lightly pulls on one of her curls, and they drift off again.

Steve has to poke her six times to stay awake in lecture around noon. She’s lucky to have him there; Clint would’ve let her sleep and drawn mustaches on her with Sharpie. It’s especially important to be awake today because they’re reviewing for the exam, and she’s got a 93% right now and this test could solidify or jeopardize that A.

That doesn’t mean she’s not leaning on Steve right now. She’s lucky she’s on her left because she’s right handed, and even though he is as well he’s not the type to complain when he’s helping someone. Plus his right arm is ever-so-slightly more muscular than his left, so it’s somewhat more comfortable to lean against.

He’s really bulked up in the last two years; freshman year Nat used to be able to fit his wrist between her forefinger and thumb. Not so much now. He has a Russian pen pal according to Clint—kept in touch since they were five apparently—and they’ve been FaceTiming and working out together. She and Clint aren’t really sure what exercises they’ve been doing—or how you can work out with someone over FaceTime—but it’s working for Steve at least; they’ve doubled their efforts to get him on their hockey team.

Steve pokes her again as Professor Stark rambles on about medical experimentation during World War II.

“I’m awake,” she says. Their redheaded neighbor, Pepper, hushes them, and Nat sticks her tongue out at her. Quieter: “I’m awake.”

“I know,” Steve says, “you snore.”

“Hey!”

“Shh!”

Steve holds up a hand to stop either of them from saying anything. He whispers, “Did you meet Sam? At the Heli?”

Natasha stares at him. “How’d you know that?” Their prof changes the slide and she hurriedly copies down the information.

“He told me,” Steve says. “Ran into a redhead on the weights, said it wasn’t abnormal but for the fact that you don’t work out Tuesdays.”

“I don’t, it’s be—”

“Because of work, yeah.”

Nat worries her bottom lip. “You know him.”

“From high school,” Steve says. He nudges her and winks when she glances up. “He’s a good guy.”

She elbows him back, but she’s blushing a little. “You can’t be too sure. He wears cologne to the gym.”

Steve throws his head back and laughs so loudly that Stark stumbles over his lecture and stares, aghast.

“Excuse me, in the back; do you find this subject funny?”

Steve’s really doing an admirable job of biting back his laugh, she can almost see it straining to chime out. He hangs his head in the model of a subdued and solemn student. “Of course not, Professor.”

Stark narrows his eyes and resumes his lecture, casting dark looks at them from time to time. Steve whispers, “Cologne? Really?” and Natasha barely stops herself from laughing too.

Clint leans in her doorway while she ties her sneakers. “C’mon, Tasha.”

“I go to the gym on Wednesdays,” she says, sighing a little when she stands; her inner thigh muscles still hurt from yesterday.

What Natasha means is, Sam goes to the gym on Wednesday. She’s been thinking about him almost all day. She got on the wrong bus this morning because she was trying to remember the shade of his eyes. She’s even—it hurts to admit this, even to herself—she’s even bought him a blueberry Nutrigrain bar.

Clint knows her well enough and is, in general, smart enough to hear what she isn’t saying. “I get that, believe me I do, but. You’ve gotta rest up. You can go back to kicking butt and showing off next week if you want, or Saturday, but you’ve gotta rest.”

If she had enough momentum, she’d be ducking under his arm and in the hallway and on her way. Clint catches her stare and shifts into a more solid stance, the one that makes him look intimidating in his hockey gear but right now makes him look bedheaded and earnest and like her best friend.

Nat says, “I don’t really wanna go, but I do,” and Clint smiles with half of his mouth.

He looks up and runs a hand along the doorframe like it’s the most fascinating thing, still smiling like it’s just for her. “Wanna get out?”

“Where?”

“Dunno,” he says, and shrugs.

Their university does movies for free at the Union, so that’s where they go. Every Wednesday through Saturday at 9 PM whoever’s in charge of the videos cycles through blockbusters that came out earlier in the year, usually on a few month’s delay. It’s always very energetic; the room seats 150 people, give or take, and that many college kids in a room tend to laugh and talk to the screen now and then in very audible whispers.

It’s Moana tonight. Natasha buys the popcorn and Clint does the butter and salt in an easy routine that they’ve established over the last decade and a half, one born from Natasha having a job and but sense of what to do with butter and Clint not having a job but the amazing ability, somehow, to properly flavor even the vaguely cardboard-y popcorn served outside the theatre.

She’s checking his work—flawless, as always; he can’t seem to miss the mark—when he says, “Oh, hey Steve.”

Clint takes the popcorn back, which is good because she almost drops it. Steve smirks at her but she barely sees him; Sam’s leather jacket is filling up her field of view.

“Hey Clint, Nat,” Steve says. “Nat, I think you know Sam?” Nat glares at him and he shrugs in an I’m sorry kind of way, which would’ve been fine if his eyes weren’t plainly amused.

Sam says, “We’ve met. How’re your thighs?”

Clint makes a noise that sounds like he’s got popcorn stuck in his throat at that. “Her thighs?” Steve doubles over, laughing a little breathlessly.

“Fine,” Nat says, ignoring Clint and Steve, but it’s okay because she and Sam have both gone red now. “Just. Taking a day off. Rest day.”

“Good, good,” Sam says. He’s wearing what Natasha thinks is his my best friend is an idiot expression; she recognizes it because she makes the same face about Clint.

She looks at them—they’re not paying attention anymore, Clint’s showing Steve something on his phone—and then back at Sam and says, halfway between annoyed and flustered, “Wanna find a seat?”

And he says, “Absolutely,” and they sit next to each other and, in the dark, she imagines that this is, maybe, a date. A daydream ruined when Clint and Steve stumble over them to get to their own seats and spill Steve’s drink all over the floor, flooding over the tops of their shoes and making the floor obnoxiously sticky when they shift their feet.

New Text Message

Steve: yknow tht Sam liks you

Me: Are you drunk?

Steve: cant get drunk rmmber

Steve: scince

Me: That’s not how science works

Me: Are you okay? Do we need to come get you?

Steve: nahhhhh

Steve: mfine. got Sam

(Steve added Clintyyy to the chat.)

Steve: CLINT tell her

Clintyyy: What’s with the caps man?

Steve: phone bein weird

Steve: does that

Me: Are you sure you’re fine?

Steve: i am not Sam he’s in lov

Steve: *live

Steve: *lpbe

Clintyyy: We got you

Steve: you knoe what I mean

Me: He’s drunk

Steve: mnot

Me: Like Budapest all over again

Clintyyy: Ah the memories

Natasha has twelve missed calls from Steve when she wakes up. She checks through them, straining to separate the synth in the background from Steve’s slurred speech, and makes a mental note to make Steve the DD from now on. Boy can’t handle his alcohol very well.

She also has a series of quick texts from a number she doesn’t recognize, and she smiles when she sees them: Got him home safe, don’t worry. Got your number from his phone. Don’t forget to hydrate.

Clint walks with her to the bus stop, very blatantly reading over her shoulder. She lets him. “‘Don’t forget to hydrate’?” he says, one eyebrow raised.

Nat just shrugs and shows her ID to the busdriver. Clint follows behind her. He wants to ask something, she can tell, so she waits and leans the back of her head against the window. He pokes a hole in the knee of her jeans.

The bus slows to a stop by the main lawn five minutes later and they get up, sling backpacks over tired shoulders. Nat’s class is a little bit of a walk from the stop but Clint’s is in one of the old buildings ringing the lawn, so they hug and go on their way.

But he’s running after her a beat later, and he asks, winded (he should, she thinks, probably come with her to the gym), “You like him?”

“Maybe,” she tells him.

Clint studies her with the certainty and ease that comes from knowing someone for awhile. “You do,” he says, like he’s found something worth finding.

She says, “Yeah,” and they smile at each other.

New Text Message

Clintyyy: Still up for it?

Steve: Yessss

Me: Why not

Loud, overly flirtatious and forward drunk frat guys. That’s why not.

Thirsty Thursday is always a little over-the-top, but somehow, today, it’s one hundred percent worse; they’ve walked the entirety of College Ave. looking for a bar that wasn’t overflowing but still quality. There are approximately seven different bars within feasible walking distance—that is, within the distance that a still somewhat hungover Steve, an exercise-loath Clint, and a Natasha in relatively high heels would be willing to walk to. Seven bars for 40,000 students, maybe only half of whom can (legally) drink, maybe only half of that half who don’t have classes Fridays and would be out around this time. And, apparently, all of those students are tipsy frat guys.

They don’t say anything to her, per se, never do, but they’d said things to each other about her when she and Steve and Clint walk by, and once was enough for her to dislike them on principle.

The three of them had planned for eight. Eight was a dumb idea, evidently, because the bars they would have no trouble getting into Monday through Wednesday at eight o’clock are filled with lines a block long.

“Should we just call it?” Clint asks in frustration. They’re at the sixth bar on the list.

Nat shakes her head. “Let’s try the next one. We’re out, we’re cute, we may as well. And I really have to pee.”

“Well said,” Steve says.

The seventh bar is called The Triskelion for reasons Natasha hadn’t cared to ask about. The logo is the same curving lines as her boss’ tattoo, and Fury never struck her as the type of person to welcome questions about it, so she’d shelved her curiosity.

It’s a little, low lit dingy place with graffitied walls and peeling paint. But the bar is clean and so are the tables, and there aren’t as many frat guys here—there’s a few other people at the bar and one or two couples who seem to be on dates, but no Greek letters—, so Nat thinks it’s perfect.

“What can I get you all?” the bartender asks.

Natasha looks and Clint and says, “Surprise me,” and heads off to find the bathroom.

“I got you,” Clint calls. She raises a hand to say she heard.

It’s surprisingly clean, the bathroom. It’s unisex, so there are urinals and stalls, but there isn’t as much pee everywhere as she’d expected for Thirsty Thursday. She’s washing her hands when the door slams open.

“—right back,” someone says, talking to someone outside, and then: “Shit fuck.”

Nat glances to the door and immediately wishes she was back at the bar. “Hey, Sam.”

He smiles weakly, rubbing the back of his neck. “How you doing?”

“Fine. You alright?”

“You, uh. Heard that, then?” Sam says flatly. She nods, waits. He sighs. “It’s my date.”

Now she really wishes she was back at the bar. The sentence bounces around her head a moment before settling uncomfortably on her stomach.

She says, “Sorry,” and pinches off bits of her paper towel.

“Yeah. Don’t know what I was expecting, it’s just,” he says, and now he throws up his hands, “everything’s gone wrong, she told me that I was ‘just the sweetest thing’ and ‘so soft’ and that I remind her of her dead chocolate lab, and she didn’t answer if I asked if it was because I’m black. I mean, I was kidding, but not now, clearly.”

“She sounds interesting,” Nat says carefully. “I’m sorry.”

“‘Interesting’ is a little milder than I’m thinking,” he says. “It’s my fault really, it’s Tinder and I was gonna call it off, but she sounded so sad in the messages.”

“What’re you gonna do?”

Sam looks around the bathroom and says sheepishly, “I was going to pop open the window, actually. But there isn’t one. So.”

“I’m sorry,” Nat says. On an impulse she takes his hand and squeezes it. “You can do this. It only has to be a one-time thing.”

He squeezes her hand back. “I’ll try.”

New Text Message

Me: Abort

Nutrigrain Bar: What happened? Are you okay?

Me: Frat guy at the bar hitting on me

Me: buying me a drink npw

Me: Steve and Clint in bathroom

Nutrigrain Bar: One sec

“Hold on, I gotta tell Clint and Steve, they worry,” Nat says a little breathlessly, leaning against the brick wall of the library. Sam starts to back away but she catches his jacket sleeve as a sort of tether. She sends her text one-handed and pulls him closer, and the second kiss is as nice as the first, and the third is better.

New Text Message

Nutrigrain Bar: I had a very, very nice time last night

Me: Me too

Me: It’d be a shame if

Me: You know

Nutrigrain Bar: If it happened again?

Me: Exactly

Nutrigrain Bar: Well

Nutrigrain Bar: We’ve always got out standing date at the gym

Me: That’s a good start

Nutrigrain Bar: Well hopefully we’ll have a good middle too

New Text Message

Stevie: Told ya

Me: I know

Stevie: For the record

Me: I knowwww

Stevie: ;)

Me: Shut up

“Details,” Clint says, his arm a dead weight around her shoulder; they’re both still feeling last night.

The NCIS opening credits play, but they’ve got the sound off. This is one of Clint’s favorite things to do, sit around and read the lips of the actors on TV shows. Nat’s favorite part is when he gets bored of it and starts making up his own lines.

She tucks her knees close to her chest and leans closer to Clint. He mumbles Gibbs’ line, “Grab your gear,” and she says, “Doesn’t count.”

“Does so.”

“He says it,” and here she yawns, “every episode.”

Clint tugs on her sleeve. “It counts. It’s like the free space in Bingo.”

“Gonna pretend you didn’t say that, Barton.”

“Gonna pretend you aren’t dodging the question, Romanova.”

“You didn’t,” she says, yawning again, “ask me anything.”

“Don’t be a McGoofus, McGee” is what Clint says next. Then: “Fine. Details?”

Remembering it gives her goosebumps. She smiles. “About?”

Clint groans and buries his face in a cushion while she laughs harder than she would normally. His voice is muffled as he says, “The kiss, Tasha, the kissing, the Frenching, snogging, whatever.”

“You mean like, how was it?”

“Yes.”

“Good.”

“Tongue?”

“Maybe.”

New Text Message

Steviesteviestevie: Okay I’m presentable now

Steviesteviestevie: Are you almost here?

Me: Just got off the bus

Me: Be there in 5

Steve flings the door open wide and drapes himself against it, saying, “Welcome to my humble abode.”

He’s ridiculous. “You’re always so dramatic,” Nat says, laughing in spite of herself. She crosses the threshold and Steve closes the door behind her.

She’s never been in Steve’s apartment before. It’s about what she would’ve expected for a student on a college budget: small living room with a small TV and bookcase, small kitchen, small bathroom with a corner of the mirror missing. A hallway leads off the living room and has three doors, one being the bathroom, one Steve’s room, and then a closet, maybe.

He spread out cool ranch Doritos and Oreos and lemonade on the counter. After handing her a (paper) plate, Steve piles huge handfuls of the Doritos onto his own plate and sits.

The Doritos are now half empty. “You should’ve just taken the bag,” Nat comments. She deliberates for a second and then just takes the Oreo tray to the table.

“There’s time,” Steve says. “We’ve got a lot of studying to do.”

Nat plunks her notes and books onto the table. “That we do.”

Two hours later, Natasha hits the wall.

Thirty minutes after that, Clint texts her about an NHL game, so she commandeers Steve’s TV and watches that. Steve abandons his homework and joins her on the couch and they yell at a few missed calls, and she finally gets him to agree to join her and Clint’s team (thereby allowing her to win a twenty dollar bet).

Around nine, a Mythbusters marathon starts. Natasha and Steve have a competition to see who can stack and eat the most Oreo filling. Steve wins, but only because his mouth his bigger.

At ten Steve’s Russian pen pal FaceTimes him, and, after exchanging hellos in Russian, Steve introduces him to Nat. Steve’s pen pal has long hair and the unlikely name of ‘Bucky’ and is surprised when Natasha takes to him exclusively in Russian.

Sometime after that Natasha’s alone on the couch, and while the Mythbusters team blows stuff up onscreen, she falls asleep.

She hears it and holds a pillow over her head in sheer stubborn refusal to be awake. When she moves, her arm threatens to fall off; sleeping on the couch never really works out for her unless she sleeps on someone.

The lights are off in the apartment. Careful to keep her ears covered, she peeks at the TV and sees that someone turned it off. The singing’s coming from the kitchen, then. If she focuses extremely hard she can just make out the pitch on the voice, and from what she knows from several painful karaoke nights, Steve’s voice isn’t this nice to listen to. Even if it’s waking her up at—she checks the clock on the bookcase—four in the morning. She blearily considers the possibility that Steve’s being robbed.

Whoever’s singing (a musical burglar?) is getting into it. Their words filter through the pillow now: “Just remember, you’re the one thing I can’t get enough of”.

That’s it. She throws the pillow across the room and storms into the kitchen.

“What the hell are you—” That’s when she sees Sam.

He stops midword in surprise. “Nat?” he says, uncertain. “Why’re you here?”

She crosses her arms. “Why’re you here?”

“I asked first,” he says, yawning.

“Studying.”

He says, “Sleeping.”

This more than anything annoys her. “Trying to,” she says pointedly. “Was sleeping.”

It seems to take him a moment to put together what she’s saying. “Oh. Sorry.”

“Your turn.”

“I live here?” He raps his knuckles on the back of a chair.

She’s not awake enough for this. “Here?”

“Steve and I are roommates,” Sam says.

“I thought—” she yawns “—thought he lived alone.”

Sam says, in a tone too bright for this time of morning, “Nope.”

“Why Dirty Dancing in the kitchen? Can’t you practice in, I don’t know, the car? The shower?”

Sam looks at her oddly. “Yeah,” he says. “I do,” and this time it’s Nat who takes a moment to understand what he’s saying.

And then she puts it together. “The gym.”

He nods, smiling slightly. “Thought you knew.”

“No,” she says, rubbing her eyes. It’s too early for this.

“Shame.” He looks very determinedly at the ceiling. “I was trying to woo you.”

She laughs. “Through the shower.”

“Wasn’t sure what else to do,” Sam says, shrugging. But he’s smiling, and she thinks that maybe she’s found something worth finding.

“You’re an idiot,” Nat says.

He says, hopeful, “That mean it worked?”

“Maybe,” she says.

New Text Message

Me: Made it back fine, thanks for asking

Nutrigrain Bar: Good :)

Me: And it worked

Me: How’s Wednesday?

#thanks for the ask Mercedes :) I hope it's okay #samnat #samnat fanfiction #sam x natasha #natasha x sam #otp: on love's light wings #asks #i need to go to bed #long post #I CAN'T BELIEVE I MISSPELLED CLINT'S NAME #I AM DISTRAUGHT #clint barton #steve rogers

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nofomoartworld · 7 years

Text

Hyperallergic: The Biodiversity of the World Captured in Five Centuries of Animal Art

“Bengal tiger,” watercolor by a Calcutta artist (1820) (Hastings Albums, courtesy British Library)

A Bengal tiger does not travel well, and especially didn’t in the centuries before sedation and airplanes. But 19th-century scientists in England could study its stripes from afar thanks to the international trade of art, long a vital medium for scientific understanding. The Paper Zoo: 500 Years of Animals in Art by science historian Charlotte Sleigh, out March 8 from the University of Chicago Press, is a lushly illustrated publication with 250 images from the British Library chronicling how scientific art has expressed biodiversity over the centuries.

Cover of The Paper Zoo (courtesy University of Chicago Press)

It has not always been kind. Sleigh notes that the original text for an illustration of a horned frog in George Shaw’s The Naturalist’s Miscellany (1789–1813) read: “Should inquiry be made, which is the ugliest animal yet known to exist? The creature here represented might perhaps with justice be proposed as an answer: an animal of such prodigious deformity as even to exceed in this respect the Surinam toad, or Rana Pipa.”

Sleigh divides her book into four sections: exotic, native, domestic, and paradoxical. That last is particularly colorful, filled with anecdotes about completely imaginary creatures that were assembled due to mangled word-of-mouth descriptions, and sometimes supported by enterprising individuals. “Cashing in on the craze for natural-historical collections in the early modern period, canny sailors and inhabitants of far-flung lands stitched together body parts to make salable, ‘real’ monsters,” Sleigh writes. Along with unicorns and mermaids, there is the more fantastic and terrifying “manticore” in Edward Topsell’s 1658 The History of Four-footed Beasts and Serpents. The lion-like animal has the face of a man, with three rows of grinning teeth.

Sleigh explains that “animals began to appear in medieval works of art,” often as biblical Lambs of God or one of the symbols of the evangelists (an ox, lion, or eagle). As printing developed and became widespread, animals of varying accuracy flourished in books, whether in the form of early woodcuts or later engravings. A well-depicted exotic animal was the intellectual’s prize.

Pages from The Paper Zoo (photo by the author for Hyperallergic)

“Dürer mostly produced his animal images in watercolour, and such objects, like the pictures in the collection of the Lincei, were valuable items for exchange between wealthy savants around Europe,” Sleigh writes. “In Restoration London, a painting of a lizard on vellum could command higher prices than portraits in oil executed by even the most fashionable painters.”

Naturally, there were the overachievers, including John James Audubon, who put a vibrant, life-size aviary on paper with his 19th-century Birds of America. The Paper Zoo also has glimpses of incredible naturalist voyages like those of Maria Sibylla Merian, who in 1699 set out for South America to illustrate its insects, and Ernest Haeckel, who in the 19th century created detailed drawings of microscopic animals. They had a major influence on the fluid shapes of Art Nouveau.

High-speed and high-definition photography eventually took over as a way of visually capturing wildlife in the 21st century. Still, some extinct animals like the dodo or great auk mainly survive through old illustrations. Often, though, the creator’s name is lost. “Artists are not always acknowledged — and there is even more rarely a sound grasp of the different roles played by drawers, engraves, and colourists,” Sleigh states. Below are selections from The Paper Zoo, recalling the sometimes anonymous artist’s role in five centuries of shared scientific knowledge.

Johannes Jonstonus, Historiae naturalis de insectis (Frankfurt am Main, 1650–30), illustrations by Matthäus Merian. From The Paper Zoo: “The engraver and publisher Matthäus Merian the elder was the father of Maria Sybilla Merian, although he died when she was very young. He was apparently less committed to life-drawing than his daughter, producing visual descriptions of no fewer than eight separate species of unicorn.” (courtesy the British Library)

“Purple-bellied Lory (Lorius hypoinochrous),” original watercolor, later engraved as plate 170 in George Edwards, A Natural History of Uncommon Birds, and of Some Other Rare and Undescribed Animals (London, 1743–51) (courtesy the British Library)

“Horned frog,” from George Shaw, The Naturalist’s Miscellany (London, 1789–1813). The original text with the picture asked: “Should inquiry be made, which is the ugliest animal yet known to exist? The creature here represented might perhaps with justice be proposed as an answer: an animal of such prodigious deformity as even to exceed in this respect the Surinam toad, or Rana Pipa.” (courtesy British Library)

“King penguin,” from George Shaw, Musei Leveriani explicatio Anglica et Latina (containing select specimens from the museum of the late Sir Ashton Lever, Kt., with descriptions in Latin and English) (London, 1792) (courtesy British Library)

“1. The four horned Ram, 2. Horns of the Iceland Sheep, 3. Horns of the Cretan Sheep,” from Ebenezer Sibly, An Universal System of Natural History Including the Natural History of Man, etc. (London, 1794–1807) (courtesy British Library)

“Red-bellied snake,” from George Shaw, Zoology of New Holland, the first book of Australian animals (London, 1794) (courtesy British Library)

“Ring-tailed lemur,” from George Edwards, A Natural History of Uncommon Birds, and of Some Other Rare and Undescribed Animals (London, 1743–51). From The Paper Zoo: “This picture summons up the myth of the Fall: the contemplated fruit, the lurking partner, the curling, striped, snake-like tail. There is even a banished creature disappearing off stage-left. Edwards kept a ‘Maucauco’ (as the lemur was also known) alive for a while in his home, finding it a ‘very innocent, harmless Creature, having nothing of the Cunning or Malice of the Monkey-Kind.’” (courtesy the British Library)

“Octopus,” from George Shaw, The Naturalist’s Miscellany (London, 1789–1813). From The Paper Zoo: “The ocean is understandably a source of terror, and tales of giant squid or octopuses are one way of making such fears manifest. In 1802, the French naturalist Pierre Denys de Montfort posited the existence of two such species. This example from a British book of the same era is truly the stuff of nightmares, coyly curled onto the page, but threatening to escape.” (courtesy the British Library)

“Koalas,” watercolor by unknown artist, inscribed on the back, “Coola, an animal of the opossum tribe from New South Wales,” from the Marquess Wellesley Collection of Natural History Drawings. From The Paper Zoo: “A report in the Philosophical Transactions of 1808 announced a new creature, seen a few years previously and known locally as a koala wombat. ‘The ears are short, erect, and pointed; the eyes generally ruminating, sometimes fiery and menacing; it bears no small resemblance to the bear in the fore-part of its body.’” (courtesy the British Library)

“Young Sumatran tapir,” probably by J. Briois (March 1824), gouache on paper, from an album of 51 drawings of birds and animals made at Bencoolen, Sumatra, for Sir Stamford Raffles. Raffles helped establish the Zoological Society of London and its Zoological Gardens (now London Zoo). (courtesy the British Library)

“Crab (‘Cancer dentatus’),” published in “Observations on the Genus Cancer of Dr. Leach with Descriptions of three new species” by Thomas Bell, from Transactions of the Zoological Society (London, 1835). From The Paper Zoo: “Bell devoted his life to some of nature’s less glamorous creatures, amongst them the Crustacea. In his History of the British Stalk-Eyed Crustacea, he lamented that most works of natural history lacked all but the most superficial coverage of the class. This beautifully textured illustration of an exotic species helps to remedy that situation.” (courtesy the British Library)

“Red-pied cock,” from Robert Fulton, The Illustrated Book of Pigeons (London, 1874–76). Darwin once stated that the pouter “has a much elongated body, wings, and legs; and its enormously developed crop, which it glories in inflating, may well excite astonishment and even laughter.” (courtesy the British Library)

“Dodo (‘Didus’),” from Richard Owen, Memoir of the Dodo (London, 1866). From The Paper Zoo: “Founder of the Natural History Museum (as it is known today), Owen used underhand means to make sure that he acquired the first complete dodo remains to be recovered after the bird’s extinction at the end of the seventeenth century. His Memoir came out the following year, featuring this illustration of a squat, ridiculous bird – not unlike Tenniel’s illustration of 1865 for Alice in Wonderland.” (courtesy the British Library)

“The Wild Boar,” drawing by Friedrich Specht for No. 4 in Cassell’s Natural History Wall Sheets (late 19th century) (courtesy the British Library)

Charlotte Sleigh’s The Paper Zoo: 500 Years of Animals in Art is published by the University of Chicago Press and available from Amazon and other online booksellers.

The post The Biodiversity of the World Captured in Five Centuries of Animal Art appeared first on Hyperallergic.

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tijuana-blues · 7 years

Text

I waited until i got to work to type this.

The end of this month crosses the 1 year mark. only one year ago my world was completely different, and on the Verge of Collapse. A little backstory is needed before i continue.

Yesterday was a normal Tuesday for me. Work didnt stress me, no problems arose. My parents texted me and my brother to eat steak for Dinner. The Food was delicious, and i was preparing to head home, hit a Nice Big Dab, play a round of Smite, and hit the sack, seeing as how i hadnt slept in over 24 hours, and the only thing fueling me was the Gram of Coke i bought on Monday lol.

So as i Get up to Put away my dishes and say goodbye, i get a FaceBook Message. Its my Cousin, Isaiah.

He says he got into an Argument with his dad and got kicked out. He needed somewhere to sleep for the night.

Sure, I tell him. I cant just ignore him if he has nowhere to go. He meets me at my house 5 Minuets later with a backpack full of beer, a bottle of Vodka, and half a loaf of bread and sandwhich meats. My Cousin is crazy lmao, he has the Apache Blood in him more than me. Anyway, since hes staying, i ask if he can find some Wax, so i wouldnt be taking from my Brothers Stash. We meet up a half hour later and pick it up.

so were in my garage, passing the rig back and forth while i Showed him how Smite Worked. And then suddenly he pulls a rolled up baggie out his pocket.

A rolled white Baggie full of powder.

“well we can finish this off, then. since youre letting me Crash here.”

Im not one to ask for payment to crash at my place, but i wasnt gonna say no either lol.

he pours it out on the glass i had been using myself and began to chop it fine with the razor blade i used too.

i had taken a couple pretty good sized dabs in quick order, so i was pretty toasted when he handed me the glass and rolled up dollar. I only saw the 2 lines he had cut on it, so i just assumed he cut two for both of us and i was going first. So i just aim the dollar at the line on the right and Snort away, dragging the dollar quickly, then my Nostril Burst into Flame. I had made a mistake, he cut one line for Me from the PILE on the left.

The PILE i just Tornado’ed up my nose, and was now drinking water to keep my throat from going numb from the river of coke mucus running down it. I hear my Cousin laughing next to me.

“youre a maniac, Cuz! you railed that whole Fat ass pIle!”

Well Fuck. so much for sleeping. Lighting Coursed through my Veins 5 minuets later, and i started drinking Beers to fight the Drip.

Now Isaiah told me that it was Good Shit, but i hardly take his word for it Nowadays. hes off mark most of the Time. Not this time, Though.

15 Minutes Later im Chainsmoking Cigarettes out front of my Driveway Drinking beer and my Jaw was shaking in my Head.

You know its Good Shit when it makes someone who spent the last 24 hours doing Coke often, gives him the Jabber Jaw.

me and Isaiah just began to talk bullshit into the NIght. at Around Midnight he was talking about a girl he knew for awhile now liking him. And him liking her too but he didnt think a Relationship would be good at the Time.

Then Youre Face appeared in my Head. Like it always does. I havent Gone a day yet where i dont see you in my head.

I dont know what caused this, Perhaps it was the Coke in my System with the Beer. Or Maybe it made me finally push past my Insecurities.

i Began to talk about how i Felt the Same, how i couldnt really talk to other women or really want to because of the Luggage i was Still Carrying with My Ex, Maria.

And from there i began to talk and Talk and Talk. I couldnt Stop, the Words i had been saying in my head Every day this Past Year came out. I sat in my Garage all night Long, Until 5:00 AM, Talking to Isaiah About Her.

I didnt hold back, and surprised myself as my eyes stayed dry and my Voice Stone Cold.

I told HIm about How every Woman i ever Dated All Cheated on Me and Left me without a Second Glance. About How My First Girlfriend Megan roped me into a 3 year Lie and ruined my trust in people. I talked about how the girls i dated afterwards all did the same thing, and how i wished i was joking to him.

I told him about how i blamed myself for each failed relationship, and how id spend nights trying to figure out a way to fix myself. How i felt like i wasnt meant to be Happy with anyone and how i stuffed it all down deep and dealt with it only in my most private moments.

...And Then i told him about How I Met her in my Junior Year of High School. The Class was Anatomy, a class full of 24 teenagers with the worlds Laziest Teacher. It was the First Day, and I walked in to a semi empty classroom with kids walking around, picking out a seat for the rest of the semester. the desks all faced forward, in groups of twos in four rows across. I took a seat on the outside Left side around the Middle. I just dropped my Bag and sat in my Seat, waiting for the class to start, checking my phone every now and Again.

And the seats began to fill up, the Desk next to me taken by a Tall Nerdy looking kid with blonde hair and Garth Glasses, A KId i Befriended. Daniel Butttruck. Thats not how you spell the last name but thats how it sounds lol. So i named him Butt Truck and thats his name to this day lol.

The Chair in front of Daniel on the right was taken by a Friend of Daniels, A glasses clad Girl name Aly, And all you need to know about her is that she has a IQ just North of a Bedroom Slipper.

And lastly, A Girl In crutches slowly approached the chair in front of me, and slid into the Chair as the class started. She had a big black velcro Boot strapped to her Leg, and it stuck out into the walkway on our left a bit. She had Dark Hair that was cut into a really cute short style. At first i didnt really notice her until a few weeks into the semester where the Teacher flipped the front two desks around, making Pods of 4. So Now She Faced me and Aly faced Dan on the right.

Thats When i noticed her.

She had Brown Eyes that shone slightly, like Fine Wood Tarnished to a Dark Brown Mixed with Lighter Browns. Her nose was a small little Button Nose between her prominent Cheekbones that raised when she smiled. She didnt Wear much Makeup, or at least looked like she didnt. I remember to this day about how i would see her smile and laugh a bit as we all got comfortable as a group, me cracking Jokes and being dumb some days, with Days. As time passed i began to Notice her more. I began picking her out in the hallways as i walked to class. Sometimes I would say Hi and see her reaction.She was like me in some ways, wasnt a morning person, and had the same sense of Humor. I remember the time Dan Told us about how he Broke his Leg at Blizzcon.

Yeah, if youre not 12 years old, Dan was the Kid who Broke his Leg in like 2006 at Blizzcon Dancing like a Zombie. He was on Tosh.O or was going to be? ill ask him next time i see him lol. Anyway, hes telling us this story and Maria and I are Freaking Out because we realized he is Internet Famous, and Laughed Like Crazy.

Soon enough, I went from saying hi when i saw her to stopping by her morning class to say hi and chat, since my morning class was down the hall from hers, then sometimes wed walk toward our next class. Mind You, i Was a Junior at 17-going on 18, and Maria was two years younger than me. I never tried to flirt with her, but i enojoyed talking to her. I remember clearly One Winter Morning as i walked in from the Bus Lanes to my Morning Government Class, I see her standing by her Morning classroom, i dont remember what it was. She had her phone and was tapping away on it. I quickened my Pace as i passed her, and called out, “Maria!” she popped her head up and looked at me, and i Flipped her off. She gave a look of Confusion and laughed, walking into her classroom as the bell rang. I remember giggling to myself as i sat down, then asking myself, “Why the fuck did i do that for?? Idiot!”

That was the beginning of my Senior Year, Graduated 2011. We didnt have much contact after i Graduated, while i did the little schooling i did do, and work at that God Awful Produce Factory that first year out of High School.It wasnt until about a year or so later, when i started my job at Wal-Mart and Moved in with Christian. i remember it being Spring When i Saw Her Again. I Was collecting carts to put back in the cart corral, when i heard a Girls Voice Call my Name out in the Parking Lot.

I look out towards Barros Pizza in the plaza and i saw her Again.

It was a Bright Sunny Day, Not too Hot yet in the Summer. Her Hair had grown a bit longer, but still had its shape. She wore a Bright Yellow SunDress with Sunflowers on it. I remember how Cute i thought it was on her. I remember this moment so clearly because it was in that moment i felt something inside my heart. Like a Spark running through it.

I smiled and walked out to meet her, she had two of her other friends with her, they had been eating at Barros. Maria Hugged me and Asked me how i had been, and i told her about how i started working there and i live on my own now, looking into colleges. We chatted for a few minutes before i had to go back to work. I asked for her number to text with and, she walked off. As i went back inside i remember the times in Anatomy with our little group, and how i used to enjoy chatting with her. it also made me Remember the day i flipped her off, Years ago. As i lay down in bed that night, I remember thinking of her and telling myself, “you know, i think she would be an awesome Girlfriend.”

Months Passed and i hadnt had much Contact with Maria. I had my own problems at the time and i remember that period of my life to be so unstable i didnt want to date a girl and Live there lol. But i would text her every now and then and wed talk for a bit. I remember her dating someone at the time, and living with them. One Night in Particular I noticed she was posting on Tumblr and it seemed like she was Upset. So i Texted her and asked if she was doing alright. She said she was fine, but shes too much like me, i say that just to get people to leave me alone. I text back that she can talk or vent to me, that i didnt mind. And she did. She began to talk about her Relationship with her BF and how they rarely see each other because of work schedules and School. She told me she was thinking of just packing her things and leaving while he was at work. I told her, “Do what you have to do. if you arent happy, why are you there?”

i texted about a week or so later. She left him. She Began talking about moving to Portland With a Friend, and Getting out of AZ. I remember being bummed out at the news, my feelings for her had began to grow. I decided to step away for awhile, let those feelings go away. It must have been around 3 or 4 months later, or longer? But anyway, i see her posting on Tumblr Again, and i send her a DM asking how shes been, and if she moved to Oregon. She replied back and said her Friend Flaked, and that she really didnt want to go anyway. She says to text her, and i Ask for her Number Again.

From then on, we talked semi often every couple days, more and more often as time passes. Finally, one Day i ask her to hangout sometime, go to the arcade, play air hockey. We had been talking pretty often by then, but no obvious flirting or anything. We meet up at the arcade and we take turns playing different games, Giant Connect Four, Air Hockey, Ticket Games. She bought me a little T rex with her tickets, i named him Revan. Then we just sat on a couch and People watched those who walked in. I remember feeling her arm against mine as we sat together, and Me leaning in Quickly and kissing her cheek, and Seeing her Smile.

About 4 or 5 more little Dates Later, I ask her if she would be serious, because i wanted to be.

Her Face Brightened as i saw her give the biggest Smile i ever seen from her, and she said Yes.

I told Isaiah how as the first year passed, i had been drunk off the happiness i had at the time. As i learned more about Maria, the more attractive she was to me. She is unlike any woman ive ever met before, or have met since. I told him about how i talked about her to my friends all the time, how smart she was, how she volunteered at a Funeral Home Embalming Bodies and playing with Corpses like a Badass.

Then came my 22nd Birthday, on the first year we were dating in 2014. I didnt even want a present from her, she was all i wanted any day. I dont know why i never told her things like that. She Baked me Fudge Brownies after work on the week of my birthday, and i was more than happy.

Then she pulled a box out of Nowhere, Smiled That Warm Smile i Had come to Adore, and Said “Happy Birthday Babe!”

Before that Moment, i Cant recall a time that i was genuinely Surprised like that. I remember the words stopping in my throat and jumbled with the ones i had tried to say Next. Genuine Excitement as i opened the Long Brown Box. I opened the top flap and pulled the Styrofoam Casing to the Rectangle stick inside, Bright White with a Black Line going Down along the Length of it. And inbetween the space in the Line at the Hilt, Was the Red and White Sigil of the Uchiha.

A fucking Uchiha Sword! Like i was in actual Disbelief when i Realized. And what i explain next i never told anyone other than Isaiah that night.

I had to Try my Hardest to keep from Crying in that moment. Not because i loved the Gift she had gotten me, and how she made it a surprise, Something no one has done for me before.

It was because i remember a couple weeks before,as we scrolled Netflix one evening, i Saw Naruto on the list. I geeked out and asked you if you ever watched it, and began geeking out about it to her. I Made her watch some of my favorite episodes, and she would playfully Tease me about it. As My birthday neared, i came home from work one day to watch some Naruto Myself, and Booted up Netflix.

Someone went about 4 episodes ahead of where we Left off Last. I was at Work, and it was her Netflix Account. She actually started watching it because of how much i told her i liked it. Then She picked out something SHE thought i would like, instead of asking what I wanted like My Lazy Ass does.

No one had ever shown interest in Me like that before, and it touched me right in that moment. I blocked all emotion and was all smiled as i Hugged her Maria and told her how much i loved it. That thing was glued to my hip for like 2 months straight, i would get high after work and watch old Samurai and Ninja Movies, and act out the sword fighting with it. I even slept with it for the first Week.

In the days after that, i saw Maria in a whole new Light. I always knew the Maria who had her walls up to Anyone, the “i really dont care,” attitude she had when she was grumpy in the mornings. I got a glimpse at the Maria That was Behind that wall, The Real Maria.

Who Was sweet, considerate, and Generous. Loving and who could make me laugh.

Ever since that i saw that small glimpse of Her, My heart swelled and pumped blood thrice as hard, and my hands would shake and my mouth would get dry.

I was Falling in Love with you.

Hours have Passed, its Around 2 AM. The Line of Coke has me at Full Speed still, having plenty to say still. Isaiah just sits and drinks, giving the odd acknowledgement every couple of Sentences.

The months after my Birthday have passed, and things seem great between Maria and I. If i only knew what i know now.....

If i had just Put more Faith in You, and in my Heart. It Kills me to know how things would be if i had just manned up and told you how you made me feel....

After the first year, the strain began. We both worked. I had the accounting Job with the Contracting Company, and Maria was Working at a local Kids clothing store, and Volunteered at the Funeral Home, Along with her classes, AND she tutored.

i understood she had a full plate alot of the the time, not to mention the headaches and pains she would have. And that time of the month the poor girl was in pain Constantly. So i didnt get upset or mad when she didnt have time to visit or was too tired from work. we were always talking.

But eventually the Strain and My past would come to Signal the End. it was August, 2015. My brother had fallen Behind on his Mortage Payments on his house, and needed to make a payment ASAP or he would lose the House. Naturally i gave him all the spare cash i could to keep a roof over our heads.

Unfortunately, It left me Penniless during the Month of August, which Marias Birthday was in. I Felt Like Complete Shit but i was in a corner. I apologized to her and promised to make it up to her. It wasnt a big deal to her, but i just hated that it made me look like i dont give a shit.

I had an Ace an hole, Though. i Saved a link to a site that makes Custom Rings that Maria had posted in Tumblr that she really liked and wanted. I ordered it and did it early enough to get it before Christmas. It was already Too Late.

Maria was beginning to grow distant, not replying as soon or as often before. the replies getting shorter and shorter, the tone colder and colder. As we approached My birthday again, I plan a Group event with my friends and family, cause last year we went Paintballing and Maria wasnt there, she had work and class.

So im thinking of what i could do for a group, and i see that Charlie Murphy is doing a show ON my Birthday, a Friday! It was Perfect. I called and Reserved seats for everyone, ordered Bottle Service, i was so excited!

I texted Maria Telling her About the Comedy show and Date of My Birthday. She says she cant make it cause of work, she gets off at around 12. I was Bummed, but I understood.

The Big Day comes and it starts off great. Work was a Breeze, and Maria greeted me with a Warm Happy Birthday first. As the day progressed Everything seemed Normal. As evening sets, we all get ready to go to the show. 8 o clock, Showtime!

it was a Fantastic Show, me and all my Friends and Family drinking and Laughing our Asses off. The only thing missing was Maria. I texted her before the show saying id text her after it was over. it woulda been near to midnight, and she coulda met up with us. The show ends around 1040, and the manager says we can finish off the bottles in the bar. Me and my Friends stay, and start getting Tanked.

Midnight Comes, and i text Maria asking if she was off yet and if she wanted to come meet us. Time passes, and no reply.

she probably went home and crashed, she was probably tired, I think, as it wasnt Abnormal for her to Nap during the Day or whenever she could. So i check Facebook, and it Hits me.

A friend Tagged her and some friends at Westgate, not Long ago.

My heart Goes into FreeFall in My stomach.

Why would she be at Westgate After work? did she Ignore my Text...? why...?

My insecurites flared, and i assumed the worst. I remember everything going Quiet around me, My heart Hammering in my chest, blocking out all other noise.

i Shouldve just called. i Shouldve had more Faith in you, and what i Meant to you.

When every girl you date cheats on you and leaves, in a Row, it was hard not to assume the worst, when the worst is what always happens to you.

I remember the tears welling up in my eyes as i get up to go outside the bar. She went to go out with her friends, and she knew it was my Birthday Today....

It didnt make any sense to me, it all seemed so unbeliveable. But ive been wrong before. And add the excessive Alcohol, you get a Recipe for a Terrible Mistake.

I wasnt Dumb, I knew Maria and I were Drifting apart, Our schedules getting more and more hectic. My job stressing me the fuck out day after day, Marias Packed Schedule.

I was so fucking stupid. Why did i wait? Why didnt i just drop to my knees and tell her when i look at her eyes, i feel like i could do anything. That when she was in my arms i Felt like i needed to become a Better man for her. Why did i wait?

December. Jerkoff Hipster making her ring is falling behind, gonna need a couple more weeks. delivery date mid Janurary. I Threw A fucking Fit. i could feel it all slipping away, no matter what I did. Why did i Wait?

I was so Terrified of Opening up to you, and you not feeling the same way. The Thought of looking into your eyes and telling you that i was in love with you, and i wanted to be with you forever, or until i died. I was Terrified of looking into your eyes and Shooting me down. The texts got shorter and shorter. only strengthening My doubts and Fears.

Christmas. The Ring wasnt Ready yet. Another Fucking Embarassment. She got me a Captain Phasma Painting and some Marvel Shirts. I tell you, “look, i ordered this is time to get it for Christmas, but the Guy Got Delayed and it wasnt ready yet, but... i showed you the Ring on my Phone.

It was the last smile i Saw on you in Person.

So many oppurtunities, wasted. so fucking Stupid. I promise to make it up to you.

Down to One Word Answers, or no Reply at all.

Janurary 2016. Hiroshima.

Valentines Day is Coming, Ill have the Ring Then! and i ordered a Cute little Stuffed Corgi to go with Some Flowers and a nice Romantic Date! i order everything and wait.

You came over one week, and seemed in such a foul mood, i couldnt place it. I thought you were in Pain Probably. I tried to cuddle you, kiss your cheek, you clearly dont want the affection. I try something alittle more...Adult.

You Grabbed my Wrist, and Yanked my Hand away, throwing it off you. I was in Shock. I still remember the look you Gave me that night, Clear as day. That Piercing Glare, Looking Right at me. Pure Anger. and Pain.

Youre replies, in thier Rarity, lacked no padding for thier sharp edges. I believe its all Over Now.

Late January 2016.

You came over one Last time. We had Sex one last time. I remember grabbing you after the first go around as you got up and laid you back down. I was such a Fool.

The Ring was Delivered that Weekend. Monday i text you to see when your free to visit next, your ring is ready and i wanted to see if it fit correctly. You reply your busy tomorrow. i ask with what? you reply with: Concert. i ask What concert. You say: Tribal Seeds.

You stopped Replying After That. The Next Day i texted you again asking when can you come hangout and see your Ring?

You Broke up with me after that.

It felt like everything around me had fallen below me, and all that was left was the dark and Silence. Typing about it now makes the Hole in my heart Ache. I remember how hard the Rain Poured that Night.....As i Cried along with it.

And it was only the Beginning for me.

The first weeks after that day are a blur to me. Either Too Many Drugs Or too Many Drinks, take your pic. i was Broken. One moment you were there, you were mine, and i was gonna fix everything come Valentines Day. I had a Nice Romantic Dinner planned, then a Scenic Walk where i would show you the ring and tell you that even though were having a Rough Patch right now, that i loved you and i wanted to do everything i can to prove it to you.

But you Had other plans didnt you?

God i can still feel my heart when I saw pictures of you and Him....I dont know how to Describe how Painful it was to see. It was only Feb, and you were already with someone else? Posting Valentines Shit? I cried for hours, I begged for you not to be like the others, To just leave me for Someone Else so Fucking Fast, like i was Nothing to you.

But thats how it went down, though. Didnt it?

Friends for over 5-6 Years, Lovers for 2.

I couldnt even get a goodbye.....Just a Text. Was that all i was worth, to you?

You got with him within Weeks of Dumping me. Yet your Tumblr youre heartbroken and sad. It was like i had Entered into some NIghtmare.

within the First Two Weeks, I dropped four Hits of Acid at Once. I wanted to Escape. Instead i jumped right into it. I see you posting on Tumblr. Sad, Depressing things. Your Tags show how you deleted the texts from your phone, even though you didnt want to. How you could literally see in your texts of your declining Affection for me. In the end, It was my own doing.

With the Courage of Acid, I messaged you. I ask if your okay, and you ask why, like i dont see your posts, like i dont possibly know why you could be feeling so sad. Even then, at the end, you couldnt be honest with me.

I ask you Maria cant we please Talk?

You say About what? Like you thought i was stupid.

And thats when i just finally, for the first time, although Far too Late. I opened up to you.

I remember Anatomy.

I Remember You At Barros that Day

I Remember Air Hockey at the Arcade.

I remember The Birthday Gift.

The Words poured out then like they do now, The Spark you set in my Heart was the most important thing to me.

Whatever i needed to do to make it work, no matter what, just please dont give up on me.....

You may as well as shot me dead with your reply.

“if you had said that before, things would be Completely different.”

“saying it Now doesnt Mean Much to me now”

Those words still Haunt Me, A Year Later. And it is not even the worst to come.

You Had the verdict long before i even knew. You Found my “dating Profile” Online, and didnt say anything. just let it stew inside you. As we grew apart it hurt to see you just blatantly ignore my messages. So i used that profile to look at women, nothing else. It was only on My Birthday i Night i Made a Mistake i Will Regret forever. Maria wasnt there, she was with her friends. she didnt want to come here, or answer my texts. she chose to be with my friends. I was always the girls’ Second Choice. I got Drunk. I got Upset. I wanted Petty Revenge. I cheated. I Dont even Remember her Name or what she really looked like. Never should have done it.

A month Passes. March. I ask to still be friends, and how i missed you. We start talking again, almost like how it used to be. Tagging each other in posts again.But i also See him. Concerts, posts, tags. It tore me apart. Some Days i would wake up at 4 AM from my alarm for work, and Your Face would be the first thing i see in my head. The Tears would flow before i could even open my eyes for the first time. I try to get you to meet up with me, so we can talk. After i opened up that night you agreed we should talk. Then you just changed your mind....You Said give it time, walk the path, smell the Roses, and maybe we can start again...

My heart is Pumping like a cannon as i go into detail for Isaiah, how i became a madman, was so motivated by the mere notion that MAYBE there was a CHANCE we could work it out later. I couldnt be stopped. I drank Nothing but Water, ate only Chicken, Raw Veggies, Salmon and Fish, and cut out ALL sugar and breads. I dropped 30 pounds in a Month, and was in great shape for a fight at the gym i trained at. I would watch these Inspirational videos everymorning at 3 AM, just to run for an hour. I posted everything on Snapchat, Only Because i Wanted Maria to see it. I was so Optimistic...

April 2016.

Family Vaction in Mexico. A week with a private beachfront Villa and as much Booze as i can drink. i go in with Gusto. The Villa Has Wifi, can keep up with your posts.tagged me in some. Then the posts about him.

I hated how it made me feel to read them. He had what i wanted for us. Our own Place. Just Us. and a Dog.

He took My Place and it Ate me Alive from the Inside.

I stayed up all night, drinking tequila by the shot, playing Toro Y moi and Chain smoking. I watched the reflection of the moon dance on the waves, and thought of you. When i hear the Ocean, and nights when the Moon is Large and Beautiful, i think of you.

I Broke that night......

I knew there was no Path, no flowers to smell.

There was no Second Chance.

I Lost her.

And i couldnt get her back. She didnt want me anymore.

she wants someone else now, and when i Think about it I have to imagine Flames burning the thoughts away.

I guess after that night, i lost my motivation, i Wised up.

And i knew i had to come clean to you. It was the hardest thing i ever did.

It hurts so much still, looking back. Im So sorry...

Even after i hurt you that day, i still saw a sliver of you come through your walls.

I begged for you in time to forgive me, and over time we could be friends again. Let me earn back your trust, understand i made a Terrible Mistake and im willing to do anything to make it work.

Most people would have told me to go to hell and never talk to them again.

But not you. Not even then.

You Said, “ Maybe in time i will forgive you. maybe i wont. Depends on how i feel. for now you should make yourself scarce.”

I was stunned,,,those words hung on me for months after. Did you really mean that, Maria?

And that was the last time i heard from you for awhile...i remember Breaking down at work....The Silence hurt the most. No Texts, No Posts, Nothing.

Not only did i lose the woman i Love, I lost a dear Friend as well...

When i Returned home, i Quit Training, I quit the fight, I quit Dieting. That deep, Dark Hole you brought me out of, Maria.....when i saw you that day....I went Right Back in.

since May 2016 i was in a hole that i could not get out of. sure, i made it look like i was living the life on snapchat, but in reality, on the inside, i was so broken. Then Life Decided to kick me while i was down, and Took my Bonnie away from me. As if it couldnt get worse. My Brother and I Bawled as they put her to sleep. I was so fucking Lost.....

So i texted the one person who maybe might put up with my Bullshit....You.

and you were nice, you coulda kicked me when i was down and wouldve been justified. But you heard me out....More of that Real you shining through.

It is 4 AM now. i have spent all night telling this story to Isaiah, who has listened intently this whole time.

I tell him how after the months of Bonnies Death, I just didnt leave the house. Tried my Best to leave you be and not see shit that would kill me on the inside. The days became Quiet and Lonely. your presence in Tumblr becomes less and less active.

I hardly see you or your posts anymore...

i harden my heart and try move on.

Then i see your posts about your health. the doctor scare, Lupus.

I felt so bad, and worried i wanted to see if you were okay, even though i knew you hate my guts.But i worried and Worried and finally said fuck it and just sent a message saying i heard what youre going through, im sorry, i hope you get better soon, if you need anything, please ask

I wasnt expecting a Response, Yet you sent one : Thanks for Caring.

couldnt expect more than that, so i leave it be.

That Night, Maria makes a post.

Its About me.

My heart jumped into my throat and got stuck. My hands shook as i held my phone.

I didnt completely erase you out of my life.

i still think about you, from time to time.

Thank you for texting me today.

thank you for still caring about me.

Despite the shit i post on here, I still Care about you too.

And No its not the drugs Talking.

I read and Re-Read that post thousands of times in the following months. On Bad Days, Days where i wanted to give up. I read that post and it kept me going. First time reading it i Cried for hours. It was as if God heard a prayer.

To see you say that you still cared.....you will never know what that did. how that felt for me. Even Now it makes me tear up.

My heart didnt hurt as much after that, it healed some of it. I was always confused with Maria. One moment she says she cares, then comes off as your nothing to her. i never knew which was which.

and now, as the year came to face my Birthday again. There was only one thing i wanted. truly wanted. and if i got it, getting nothing else from anybody wouldnt even fucking matter.

I just wanted you to say Happy Birthday.

I didnt think you would. i thought you would have moved on by now, enjoying youre new life with him. I couldnt bleed about it any longer. i took the pieces of my heart and piece it back together again. i began to accept reality. and the pain began to dull.

NOV. 20th 2016

Saturday.

Woke up Early and went out to the woods to do some shooting. all day there. Head back for some Missouri BBQ, and get ready to get Blackout drunk Tonight. Night Goes well, Got trashed, had fun, Fought a couple dudes, enjoyed myself.

Got back to Devins Late that night. Eat Chocolate BDAY cake drunk.

Head off for bed. I sit on the edge of the bed and look at the time. 9:40 PM

She isnt gonna say it. Oh well.

go to your blog to lookup your post to make me feel better.

Read the words, smile and Remember. Pain Begins to set in.

back out of tags to leave, see another tag you never seen before.

“C and I”

click tag link.

Heart Explodes in my Chest, Breath Frozen in throat.

Its a picture. of us. Smiling.

the Caption Read:” I know i have trouble expressing my emotions and feelings and stuff but this guy right here means the world to me. Hes sweet, caring and Funny and---”

I couldnt read the Rest. I began to Cry Non Stop, Like someone Just Told Me my mother was Murdered.

I couldnt stop it, couldnt control myself. The pain was so much. Each one more painful to look at. How did i never see them? How??

I couldnt do it anymore. I couldnt keep taking the pain of it. I deserved to be Happy too..

its been two months since that day.

its been over a year since i last seen you with my own eyes, heard your voice....

And now we reach the end of this story. i force myself to block out the memories, remember nothing.

I have to move on with my life....

and yet....after saying all that Isaiah, which After i had finished, 8 hours had passed. 8 hours i poured out my soul. such a weight had been lifted, it felt so good for someone to hear me out...

so i finish this sad story, and Isaiah asks me one question: How do you feel about her now?

I stayed quiet for a good amount of time. i mulled it over. every memory. Good. the Bad. The Ugly. and i finally settled upon:

I miss her, Isaiah. Not like a lover misses his spouse, but like a friend who helped another Grow.

I hope to see you again one day, Maria.

#m #personal #tldr #my soul

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