#BECAUSE APPARENTLY QUALIFIED PROFESSIONALS CAN'T DO IT RIGHT

[jvten]

oh yeah i'm fine no big deal i just learned that i only have BORDERLINE autism/adhd- meaning i don't even KNOW MYSELF anymore and I WAS PROBABLY LYING TO MYSELF ALL THIS TIME. perfectly fucking fine.

maybe it was a misdiagnosis. maybe it wasn't. but i'm having a fucking crisis.

#im hoping it really is just a misdiagnosis bc there's like one or two more appointments left... idk #they said that anxiety and depression are more prevalent in me apparently #WHICH IS WHAT ALMOST EVERYONE WHO HAS AUTISM/ADHD WAS MISDIAGNOSED WITH AT FIRST #it just feels horrible i feel like i've been faking it even though i haven't... #my mum is gonna find me a way to get me medication- but i think i have to wait till like my 20s to get properly diagnosed #LIKE EXCUSE ME? I WANTED A DIAGNOSIS TO FUCKING HELP ME DURING THE FINAL YEAR OF HIGH SCHOOL #WHAT'S THE FUCKING POINT IF I HAVE TO WAIT FOR TWO FUCKING YEARS? #GOD THIS MEDICAL SYSTEM IS FUCKED UP #why tf do they treat afab neurodivergents astronomically differently from amab neurodivergents #they'll be like to amabs “oh yep you're neurodivergent 100% no doubt about it” #and turn to the afabs and be like “ohh yeahh hmm you're showing clear signs of adhd/autism but idkk” #“could just be severe anxiety and depression” GET FUCKED #RESPECTFULLY- GO FUCK YOURSELF #welp time to self-diagnose myself! fucking hell! #my self diagnosis: fucking CRITICAL adhd and autism that i need SERIOUS HELP WITH #BECAUSE APPARENTLY QUALIFIED PROFESSIONALS CAN'T DO IT RIGHT

[sarcasticscribbles]

I made a curious cat and people been asking about my designs so I thought I would share it here too If you have any question too you can send it here or over on curious cat!

Under cut is a very long monologue about some design choices regarding my s1 gang, Gerry and some avatars!

S1: Jon, Martin, Sasha and Tim

Right off the bat I'll admit I had seen TMA fanart before, but I assumed it was a game from how consistent designs are (Jon and Martin); however when I started I avoided fanart (but I am not immune to TMA fanon designs). I'll explain S1 gang, they are my favourites. I find fcs helpful to keep them consistence.

Jon: I have a basic Jon design: short, brown man with long hair and glasses. Jon has a put together façade but, he wasn't qualified for the archivist position, and he doesn't know what he's doing. Therefore, I like him with longer hair he can't care for, therefore messy. It gets longer with the seasons and adding on all the marks he gains from the entities. I gave him half-moon, golden glasses with chains holding two eyes. I like to think it's a Beholding artefact, so Gertrude wore them before him. I used to have Dev Patel as a reference for him, but I've switched over to Riz Ahmed!

Martin: Very basic: fat man with fluffy hair and glasses. When I heard his voice, I thought of Harvey Guillén, who stayed a reference for Martin's body. I pictured him in a dorky attire; round glasses, ginger, comfy yet business appropriate clothing. I added eyes in the pattern of his jumper and added freckles. I've recently play around adding a beard, because I think he wants to look older than he is (re: CV; "I'm only 29!") but haven't found a style I like. I keep him fat throughout the series, instead of him losing weight s4.

Sasha: She has some canon traits: tall, long hair and glasses. I draw her hair up to stay out of her face. Contra Jon, I think she was more qualified for the archivist position, so Gertrude started preparing her for the role. She wears an eye necklace I draw Gertrude wearing that's in the same style as Jon's glasses. She has a matching bracelet with Tim and overall is one of my favourites. (notSasha): I took what was established and flipped it; short, short hair, no glasses. I imagine notthem could pass as cousins (since they still need traits to the victim's family?); no immediate resemblance but with a few traits of the original.

Tim: Canonically described as hot so I have my own bias. I started with general attractive traits: tall and fit. I think he puts a lot into his appearance. I use Keanu Reeves as a reference, and he works great for him. He’s a hair guy, gets it professionally cut and owns expensive products, skincare routine and dresses in fitted clothing. His standard is a shirt with an eye pattern. He takes pride in his appearance, so S2’s worm scars troubled him. He stops shaving to let it heal properly but they never go away. He never liked looking at them and they are a cruel reminder of the past (however, one scar splits his eyebrow to x2 bisexuality). S3 he stopped caring about putting in effort, the stubble grew into a beard and his clothes aren't fitted. He loses muscles, gains weight, and isn’t who he was in S1.

Gerard Keay

I had just assumed Eric was hispanic (for some reason) and then I connected that he's Gerry's dad, and apparently I headcanon him half hispanic lol

But it was why I wanted to draw the Mama family portrait to play with genetics. Letting his dad be rather tall, tan with dark curly hair and Mary be ginger with paler skin; Gerry's pale, ginger with curly hair as a child. He grew up looking like Mary and started altering his appearance to be more like his dad; dyed dark hair and taking some of Eric's clothing (I also gave both a beauty mark under their eye he'll highlight despite wearing make up). Alternative scenes and goths tend to straighten their hair but I let Gerry have naturally wavy to still resemble his dad more. I tried to give him trad goth make up, mainly looking at Siouxsie Sioux in the late 70s. And a fun bonus to have his hair often cover one eye because, The Eye

Gerry cared for his dad, even if he died when he was a toddler (if I remember correctly). Gerry's chosen name is the nickname Eric referred to him as, which is also where my trans headcanon comes in (afab). I haven't thought it out fully, or how that reflects on other characters since everyone else calls him Gerard but I think there's some symbolising there having a chosen name relating back to Eric

(some) Avatars

Oliver Banks: "the Egyptians believed the most significant thing you could do in your life was die,"; I take inspiration from Ancient Egypt for my Oliver design! He wears an Ankh around his neck, but I want to look into more about Egyptian death symbolism (he has a cross too, but I'll probably remove it for future designs). I've also taken some inspiration from Nordic mythology, with Hel (Hela In English? Loki's daughter (not Marvel) ) as half his face is beautiful, and the other is a corpse (skull). I don't wanna mix too many cultures just for the sake of it, but it was a really fun design decision. And he's goth. Bonus death aligned I next time I draw Georgie I'll draw inspiration from the Death's-head hawkmoth

The Distortions: Michael's 60s and Helen's 80s inspired, no reason, just vibes. I like to think of Michael as a spiral while Helen's a twist, if that makes sense, I've been meaning to draw them together to demonstrate, but I'll include a doodle of it

Jane Prentiss: I looked into a lot of paganism, and fell into a rabbit hole. She's described as a modern witch, so I wanted a subtle alternative look with a shaved side and gauges. One of her breasts are exposed because (boobs) in old pagan traditions a lot of rituals were performed nude, to be closer to nature. A lot of pagan art has a very strong feminine force, I want for Prentiss. She has one eye, but I'll probably remove the other too, I've seen a lot of people do for more holes

Nikola Orsinov: Drag king. Because we need more of those. I love drag so Nikola's has a mix of both male and female attributes since he's just trying to imitate a human. Their design is also inspired The Toy Soldier in the mechanisms (haven't listened? To it but a lot of people pointed me to that designing Nikola!) that's also her actor Jessica Law! I put all my gender into Nikola lol, and when I can sneak an IT reference in I will

Breekon and Hope: Wario and Waluigi

Annabelle Cane: She's described having web keeping her skull together, but for some reason I imagined it to be down her neck. So I pictured her head occasionally falling off and being restored by a web. So I gave her both lol. Her vintage style is old, goth Hollywood glam to me and I love looking at reference for her

Bonus Agnes: I haven't drawn her fully, but I wanna take inspiration from Scandinavian culture, think Midsommar (both the movie and the tradition) and maybe Norse paganism. I love Agnes story and how it's only told by other people, and her relationship with Gertrude is so interesting!

#tma #the magnus archives #mag #jonathan sims #martin blackwood #tim stoker #sasha james #gerry keay #gerard keay #oliver banks #jane prentiss #nikola orsinov #the distortion #michael shelley #helen richardsson #agnes montague #annabelle cane #breekon and hope

[clotpolesonly]

y'all i am straight up not having a good time today

go forth if you're at all interested in my stress meltdown

i'm in the process of attempting to buy the house i've been renting. the owners want to sell it, but no one wants to buy to rent, they all want to buy and reside, which would require kicking us out, so they took it off the market to offer it to us first. the realtor seemed to be of the opinion that we were in a zone for a certain kind of loan that would make it feasible, but we're not apparently, so we're talking to a lender to figure out what types of loan we do qualify for, trying to figure out if this is a feasible course of action.

1) our lease is up in a month so if we don't succeed in buying the house, we will simply be homeless i guess, cuz it's pretty much impossible for us to find another place to live, secure it, and move into it in the space of 30 days. we are working on a time limit and, as of right now, we have no safety net or backup plan.

2) professionals really overestimate how much normies know about their field because i don't understand 80% of what the lender we're talking to says. i can't even formulate questions to ask, that's how little i understand the topic at hand. i need someone to explain this shit to me like i am 5 years old, especially because it's all theoretical and percentages and estimates and nothing actually TANGIBLE or with a concrete fucking number attached to it. can i afford this?? i don't fucking know, i can't tell, and i don't understand the process enough to even know what to ask for clarification on, i'm just completely lost.

3) all of this is being done in my name and with my money, but my big sister (whomst i live with) is the one who usually does the adulty adult stuff. but she's been having an awful fucking time starting a new job, to the point of an absolute meltdown last week, so i was determined to handle this myself. it's my money, it's gonna be my house, i should not be making her make the phone calls for me, that's stupid. i'm a grown ass adult, i should be able to make phone calls.

and i did! the first few, at least. i've made several calls in the last few days, despite hating phone calls, and i talked to professionals about grown up things and filled out paperwork and found necessary documentation and everything. i didn't even procrastinate on any of it!! i was doing so well!!!

then i found out we're not zoned for the loan the realtor said we were. and the lender started talking about a different one with more fees and more terms i didn't understand. and i already felt like i was just the worst person in the family to be having these conversations cuz my auditory processing is not fantastic and my short-term memory and retention are bad and i can't listen and take notes at the same time and i get overwhelmed and shut down easily

aaaand that's exactly what i did 🙃 go figure.

so my sister (whose work stress was significantly alleviated litchrally like 2 hours ago) has now stepped in to take over while i have my own stress meltdown, and that's only making the meltdown worse cuz now i'm MAD at myself. i was determined to do this myself. the mom friend anxiety override kicked in while my sister was so overloaded, and it carried me through the whole week, and now i'm crashing and i'm crying in my office at work and i feel like shit cuz i couldn't handle it like i said i would. i said i wouldn't make her handle this for me, and i failed, and she's having to do it anyway, and i wanna go HOME but i can't cuz i'm at work and i have to cover phones for the receptionist while she's at lunch and i really hope nobody calls until i stop fucking crying alkdfjghakf

#personal post

[timeisacephalopod]

It really strikes me that people treat fanfic authors as if they don't know anything about writing, which is weird because even before I wrote fic I cowrote a stage play I got an award for back in high school, poetry my teachers would frequently compliment, and my own original ideas in novel format- which structurally you learn in high school it's not some fucking Devine Knowledge no one knows about? If you didn't learn what an inciting incident is and the basic structure of a novel and tropes like The Heroes Journey by eleventh grade then fine but don't project that onto a format of writing you have some weird vendetta against. After that I went to uni and wrote dozens of academic essays for my degree, some of them quite extensive in length and obviously there's technical skill involved in that writing.

Besides that after I stopped writing fic I learned how to write screenplays and wrote like 3 episodes of TV shows in film school- which by the way used other showrunners ideas because writing an episode of an existing show is how you build a portfolio. That's right fanfic hating assholes, if you want a tv writing job pull out ur fuckin fanfic out so your ability to capture the voice of another show can be judged. I also wrote a movie script in school and I highly doubt I'm some Special Snowflake among fic authors, so where the hell does this idea that fic authors are all 13 year old yaoi obsessed morons who've never even seen a book their whole life and never learned even the most basics of writing like what an adjective is come from?

I know people who hold this idea don't seem to think they're misogynists but they treat fic identical to how people treat romance and erotica outside of Fic World and I highly doubt two areas in which women are the ones doing most of the writing would get targeted with the exact same rhetoric of "that's not real writing" for completely different reasons if the arguments against the fiction are basically the same. Because obviously Real Literature doesn't have romance, sex, or women writing it.

Regardless, it's utterly asinine to assume fic authors have no idea how to write because they're writing fic- like actually no, technically speaking I'm qualified to write all kinds of shit as far as what I know, so I don't much appreciate that my writing a single form of writing somehow means I have no skills or training just because Ive written that particular format according to some people. It's deeply insulting and I really do wonder if people think people who write as a hobby should even be allowed to have that hobby if theyre this obsessed with publish or don't ever even LOOK at a word. Like not only is it insulting to suggest that my hobby is somehow some particularly god awful drivel, but apparently those people don't know what a hobby is given that zero other hobbies get treated like this. No one walks around telling people if they aren't playing professional sports they can't play them at all- we just know that normal dudes playing football probably aren't Tom Brady and aren't looking to be either.

#winters ramblings #just because YOU dont know anything about writing doesnt mean everyone is in your boat #and ill tell you right now just because you know about writing doesnt make you good either #im fairly mediocre- raw talent in several areas but VERY diamond in the rough #granted i have more talent than the hacks shitting on fanfic im sure but ill bet im 1000X better an editor #than theyd ever be. editing isy strong suit im VERY good at looking others work over amd figuring out what to shimmy #around to make it better. sucks because i wish i was a better writer but like TECHNICALLY i can write several formats #so to suggest i dont know what im doing because i write FIC is absurd. im bad at writing because i cant plot for the life of me #story im good at worldbuilding im great at character voice im good at but plot? god help me i suck at it #still busdy WEIRD to make the assumption fic authors dont know how to write because they write fic #as if you cant learn how to write outside of fic and apply thay knowledge to the fic?? #because im willing to bet of the talented authors people like they probably have experience writing #be it by themselves be it real writing jobs or training in a writing feild. theres outliers for sure but ill bet #of the REST they arent fucking morons and know how a fucking book works its not rocket science #being good at writing is almost less structure and more everything else mostly because you can get away with bad structure #assuming you have other stuff to offer but if you have the best structure in the world and BORING writing and characters well #no one will boher with that on account of reading is entertainment. you have to ENTERTAIN #by that metric dic authors do more than their hobbies on that and thats true of shite media too #like scouts guide to the zombie apocalypse isnt some Grand Amazing Oscar Winner but it doesnt need to be #like fuck if you insist on only watching oscar winners thats fine but lets not act like your Refined Taste makes you superior #like bitch ive seen oscar winners and ive read best sellers- winning awards doesnt make it Iron Clad Amazing #im sure people have lots to say about Green Books oscar win including me it should've gone to blackkklansman #point being 'good' media doesnt even escape criticism so lets not act as if only watching 'good' media #is like eating the fruits and veggies of media. you are not what you read write or watch lmao #spitting out takes that fucking dumb- as if only watching and reading Quality Content makes you lacking in anti intellectualism? #makes you sound dumber than what you paint fic authors as. media dont need to be good and hobbies arent meant to be oscar winners #or Pulitzer prize winners. fic is a fucking HOBBY and even if it wasnt that doesnt mean people who write it dont know how to write #you have no realiztic idea WHAT someones background is and book structure isnt something So Rare no one knows about it #im aure fic authors know how to ficking GOOGLE shit if they didnt go to high school you arent packing #you dont have Special Book Knowledge karen we all went to high school and if we didnt dont shit on that persons writing asshole??

[didnt-want-to-be-a-halfblood]

If you've followed my blog for a while you'll know that I fully support Will Solace resenting/envying/hating Percy Jackson.

But alas, I realize I'm wrong about what originally triggered this animosity. It's not the death of his siblings... Not the way Percy treated Nico or the fact Nico had a crush on Percy... No, no, no. Percy insulted Will's pride. And the children of Apollo are known for their pride. I can picture it now...

Percy, arguing but not meaning to offend: I'm just saying you're not an actual doctor. You don't have a doctorate, you haven't gone through medical school

Will: excuse me?

Percy: don't get me wrong! Of course you're amazingly skilled! but you're not, y'know... What's the word...

Will: qualified?

Percy: yes! Wait no. That's not what I mean-

Will *taps on his glass with a fork and stands up onto the nearest lunch table*: attention everyone! Sorry to interrupt dinner! I have an important announcement!

*all the other cabins stop talking to listen with varying degrees of interest*

Will, dramatically: it has come to my attention. That I, William Andrew Solace, do not have an M.D.

*Austin and Kayla gasp in exaggerated shock*

Will: And because of this I'm apparently not qualified to be a doctor. After all without an official doctorate, how could I be competent enough to heal any of you?

Nico: good job, Percy. You set him off

Percy: I didn't mean-

Will: I know, I know. You all have every right to feel betrayed. Who am I to believe that just because I trained with Chiron and Apollo, learning the art of medicine on a level most mortal schools can't fathom, that I had any right to call myself a doctor?

Percy: Will, stop-

Will: Healing most of you from the brink of death? I was not qualified to do so. Paolo, I apologize for all the times I surgically reatached your limbs. I understand if you never want to speak to me again.

Percy: Dude, c'mon...

Will: I promise, the next time one of you need immediate treatment I'll do the right thing and let Perseus Jackson here drive you to the hospital in his little prius! It's about an hour drive but I'm sure y'all will be much happier when given the proper care by a proper doctor with an actual MD! Because obviously I'm just a quack! A phony! A fake!

Percy: I'm not saying you're a fake, I'm saying you aren't technically a doctor! Technically!

Will: I was doctor enough to save Annabeth during the Battle of Manhattan! But next time I'll dial 911 and let the professionals handle it instead! You can heal your own injuries from now on, Percy Jackson! From this day forward until you apologize, the Apollo cabin won't lift a finger or a hymn to help you.

*Will dramatically storms off*

Austin and Kayla: oh dam he's actually upset. You gotta apologize

Percy: But that's not what i-! I didn't-!

Nico: yeahhhh you fucked up. I'm gonna go before he thinks I'm siding with you. Good luck explaining to Annabeth why you're on Will Solace's shit list, yikes

#nico di angelo #pjo #will solace #toa #percy jackson #hoo #solangelo #kayla knowles #austin lake #annabeth Chase

[foster-the-world]

In route

Flying home after a great vacation. The national parks in Southern Utah/Arizona are simply amazing. Baby boy is a asleep - which is a real hallelujah moment.

10 out of 12 days were amazing. The other two were normal exhaustion/annoying stuff that traveling with three little kids entail.

My parents/Aunt joined for the first 9 days. Having them around always makes it feel more like a real break/vacation. My Mom is so good with all three kids.

Las Vegas - 2 nights. It was the closest airport and weren't excited about putting baby boy in a car after a 5.5 hour flight. The kids loved it. We took the girls to a comedy/magician show that they enjoyed. The pool was huge and three feet all the way across - so perfect for five year olds that are beginnings swimmers.

Valley of Fire. My Aunt's not a hiker and says things like "why would anyone think this is enjoyable, just a bunch of rocks, so much dirt, etc, etc." Which works out fine because any of the kids could go back to the car with her when tired.

St George, Utah - 6 nights - We did a home exchange. Some of the best playgrounds I've ever seen. There were some signs noting private donors. I wonder if it's all of the Mormon money? So many things in Vegas/the parks were free for 5 and under. Which is amazing for us. I feel like in NYC you are lucky if any kid over 1 gets in free to anything.

Zion was an amazing place. Baby boy decided to not sleep the night before. Which left us pretty cranky and not really fit to parent well. My parents/Aunt did a jeep tour while we hiked with the kids. Both girls complained a lot - which is not like them.

Arizona - 1 night - Luckily, my parents had offered for us to leave the kids with them while we drove to Arizona. We did a parents only trip for a more serious hike in Zion then onward to Antelope Canyon/Lake Powell/Horseshoe bend in Arizona. Truly otherworldly. Ate amazing Mexican food and slept in.

Of course, the kids had the time of their lives. Luckily, baby boy was back to sleeping like a charm so I didn't feel too guilty about saddling my parents/Aunt with them.

Did some more local/state park hikes with the kids when we got back. Pretty lake surrounded by mountains. Then an ATV ride with just the girls. As Rebel said "what a wild ride."

Bryce Canyon - 2 nights. What an amazing place. The girls and I did a few great hikes- they were champs. It was snowing. We also went to a country show dinner buffet. The music brought me back to my high school days. The girls were blown away by the idea of a buffet. Their eyes filled with joy when we told them they got to go back.

Unfortunately, baby boy realized he could climb out of his pack-n-play. He screamed bloody murder every time we put him back in. Can't have him bothering the neighbors so we drove him around to get him to fall asleep. I think we realized he's not really ready for hotel stays, yet. Home exchanges/airbnb's make our vacation lives so much easier.

Vegas - 1 night. Up at 3:20am to catch our flight. With flight prices being crazy it was the most affordable. It worked out as the airport was not crowded, I wasn't going to sleep well anyway and baby boy passed out right away. I realized we were going to be zonked when we got home so our sitter is scheduled.

Overall, an amazing trip. Next time I do less moving of places. Def want to take the kids back to Bryce Canyon when baby boy is 4+. So much more to see.

Both our arriving and returning flight has medical emergencies that asked for medical professional assistance. As a student, obviously I'm not qualified. But i don't think I'm going to be when I graduate either. The return flight it was a non-responsive elderly women making odd breathing sounds before we even took off. Her daughter seemed very unconcerned. Another passenger had to alert the flight attendants to stop us from taking off. Apparently the women has been released from the hospital recently and then caught a flu. The daughter tried to convince the flight attendants they could still fly. THEN ASKED IF SHE HAD TO GO WITH HER? How insane is that? Imagine not wanting to get off the plane with your elderly mother who was just non-responsive?

[themoonlily]

Hi! I found your stories on a ficrec list for Eomer/Lothiriel and WOW!!! MUCH LOVE!!!!! I can't wait to read more wonderful stories from you! Can I ask what got you into this pairing, and what draws you to them? Also: any headcannons about them? (Physical/personality/hobbies/etc.)

Hi there! I am so glad to hear you like my stories. :)

I would say that I got to Éothiriel thanks to Éomer. I can't say I fell in love with him straightaway - I was your typical Aragorn fangirl back in the day (mind you, he’s still one of my favourite characters in the legendarium). I had always enjoyed the bits with Rohan in particular, and the more I watched the films, the more I liked Éomer, and once I had read the books a couple of times, I realised there was so much more to this guy. I loved his integrity, his unashamed passion, his loyalty and devotion to his family and friends, and how he strives to do better and learn. 

His arc in the books is such a fascinating one. He starts out as a scion of one of the leading families of Rohan (and is a son of a princess, no less), but is orphaned along with his sister at an early age, and then raised by the King himself. What kind of a trauma did that loss leave him with, and how did it affect his relationship with his sister? Were his teenage years very difficult thanks to this? At the time of the events of LOTR, he’s a fairly young man - among the youngest of the entire cast - and yet he has this hugely important duty as the Third Marshal of the Mark. He’s passionate but also ready to put himself and his own needs aside in order to do what’s right. The whole House of Eorl dynamics are just so fascinating, even though a lot of it happens outside the actual narrative of LOTR. What are his relationships with his uncle, his cousin, and his sister? How does this partnership with Théodred grow (to the point of Saruman seeing these two as the chief obstacle of the easy conquest of Rohan)? What does it feel like to watch his beloved uncle fall under the influence of ill-intended counsels (not to mention the threat of Wormtongue against Éowyn)? Éomer is portrayed as a fairly temperamental guy, so I can only imagine the fury he must feel at the situation. 

But then Théodred dies, the noose tightens around everybody’s throats, and one may just imagine the desperation and dread he must feel at this point. He’s still figthing and trying to do the right thing, even if that may now mean treason. But he’s still friendly to Aragorn and co. when they meet, recognising them as an opportunity to help Rohan almost immediately. 

He’s so loyal to his family that even after he’s been disgraced and humiliated by Wormtongue by the proxy of Théoden, he still knows where the true malice is coming from, and is ready to fight again for his uncle the moment he’s released. And he slips straight back to being the King’s lieutenant without even blinking his eyes. 

There’s also how Éomer becomes king. I’m fascinated with what it would feel like to him. I mean, he’s been second in line to the throne his whole life, so he probably always realised there’s a chance he’ll be king one day. But the circumstances he comes to the throne - the near ruin of his country, the tragic and violent death of his cousin he might have been able to prevent if not for Wormtongue, the brief time he has with his restored uncle, and then the whole mess of the War of the Ring... all that must feel pretty surreal for him. And, of course, the Battle of Pelennor’s fields, and his scenes in it... wow. Him nearly losing his mind over thinking his sister (and whole family) is dead, charging like a madman over the field, composing some pretty amazing poetry in the spur of the moment, and then just laughing in sheer defiance against what seems like imminent death. What a dude. 

And then there are so many other interesting aspects: how he must have felt over those long years (was he unhappy? was he lonely?), what he expected his life to be versus what it turned out to be, and what it did to him to watch his family leave one by one. I could go on, but then we would be here whole day. 

So, enter Lothíriel. Of course I was eager to know what happens to Éomer after the war is over, and fortunately, Tolkien had an answer ready - although he could really have told us more about them! Not that in canon there is anything to imply it was a love marriage, but personally, I don’t think that a man with a disposition like Éomer would submit to a loveless or faithless marriage (or that he’d risk his relationship with Imrahil by being faithless). I just can’t see it happening. Also I just want him to be happy, and find someone who brightens up his days, someone who won’t leave him. It’s nice to imagine him having a new start with her.  

Sadly, of her personality I can’t say anything that would be indicated by canon, but if we imagine her being anything like her father, then she might be a proud, strong and brave woman. Well, she would probably have to be courageous to leave her homeland for marriage (another reason I think it was a love union, because I want her to be happy, too)! I like to imagine her finding some unexpected, unimagined freedom in Rohan, perhaps even fulfilment of ambition in her role as a queen. Also, maybe with her background and if she had access to some kind of education, she’d be uniquely qualified to helping Éomer to rule and counseling him. Perhaps she even feels some personal pride over the fact that together, they are starting a new dynasty (or a new line) to rule in Rohan. Also, having a fairly big family, I think she would be well equipped to show him the love he has missed most of his life.  

I recall at some point reading the appendix about the House of Eorl, and that Éomer married Imrahil’s daughter, Lothíriel, and thinking yes, this makes sense. It’s just the sense I gleaned from the interactions and circumstances of the story. Of course Éomer would have strong feelings for Imrahil, since he was the one who saw that Éowyn was still alive and hastened her delivery to safety. Being a man of strong emotions, I think Éomer would hold Imrahil and his entire family in high regard thanks to this. Maybe it’s even a ground from which some attachment did grow between him and Lothíriel. Also, Rohirrim are a culture based on horses, and apparently the Princes of Dol Amroth also maintain a cavalry (the Swan Knights who, with Imrahil, took part in the Battle of Pelennor fields). So I see there definitely being a lot of points of connection! 

Of course, it also fits the socio-political frame we are left with at the end of the story: the new unity among the Free Peoples, the task of rebuilding after the war, and this new blooming of the friendship between Rohan and Gondor. On a purely logical level, it is reasonable that he’d marry the daughter of a powerful house like Imrahil’s. But for my purely headcanonish “aesthetic” (if that’s even the right word) reasons I do like the contrast these two make: their different cultures (and all that they entail from songs and poetry to foods and habits), their union as the union of earth and sea, his gold to her silver, the warrior and the lady... also this is purely headcanon/tropes but I definitely think of them as tol/smol and embodying the pair where A is the reason B began to smile again. (Tol/smol is at least half canon because Éomer is apparently as tall as Aragorn, like 6 feet 6 if I recall right. Since he’s also a professional warrior, he’s probably built like it too.)

So, yeah - I guess that’s already a lot of reasons for why I love this pair! There’s just so much potential there, so many avenues to pursue, and so much food for imagination. If you’re interested in more of my headcanons, you could try searching the tag “Éothiriel” in my blog - I’ve got plenty of posts about them! 

Thanks for the ask, and sorry for this answer being so long! I rather got carried away and Éomer deserves every bit of the love he gets, and so does Lothíriel. 

#Éomer #Eomer #Lothíriel #Lothiriel #Éothiriel #eomer x lothiriel

[edisacornball]

I don't know what to do anymore. I've been struggling and struggling and struggling to keep a job, but I'm just too fucking disabled for it. I can't do everything they need, I always end up sick too often.

So the people around me tell me to get on disability. Because that's what you do if you're too disabled to work. But even if I somehow could get through surviving for a solid year or more with NO income to prove I'm actually disabled... I'm married. So nothing for you, your spouse should take care of you.

So get in touch with local charities, have them help you. And I did. In the summer. We're apparently doing too well to qualify for help, come back for help when you're actually on the streets.

Which means that the next thing people suggest is always starting a business, start a business. I just. I have tried and tried and tried and I don't know anymore. Everyone will just say I'm dying something wrong, not trying hard enough, etc etc etc... I don't know anymore. Sometimes it feels like everyone just wants to find any excuse for why I'm floundering and dying as my fault. And I don't even know anymore. If that many people are saying it, maybe it's true. Maybe I'm just not doing something right. Maybe I'm not trying hard enough. Maybe I'm not sacrificing enough. I don't know anymore. I'm so fucking exhausted. I don't know how to keep going. And I guess that's my fault.

I've become too big a burden for the people around me. I can't really blame them, it's been such a hard couple of years. I don't know anything else to do. I can't go back to my parents, not when I know they're deadnaming me and taking badly about my spouse behind my back. I don't know what to do anymore.

I don't even know why I should even try to keep finding a way to survive. I don't know what I'm even trying to survive for anymore. To be someone else's inspiration? Look, if HE can make it, anyone can? Bleh. Gross. I once wanted to be a writer, but then I was told that the ONLY way to make a living off it is by writing in this specific way, this way that I can't write... oh, and work a job in the meantime, because you can't count on dreams for sure. It's just... not a dream any more. Professional writing sounds like as much a slog as any other job, and I already know I fail at those.

I can't do this anymore. I'm so freaking miserable. Why bother? Why keep fighting through this??

#real life #I'd say I'll delete this later but who knows

[dredshirtroberts]

Today's been...tough.

it's only noonthirty and i'm just like "okay we're done now. we've been done for four hours and only been home for two, we're done."

days like today make me wish i were able to just like... shrink down in size to be lap or pocket sized (like a cat or a particularly cuddly pet rodent of some description) and just curl up with someone i could trust and not...do anything. just sit with them while they do whatever they want to, and just exist but not have to be like...responsible or...or have to take care of myself for the day.

I need to check out that list of primary care doctors my coordinator sent me and choose one and make an appointment. I need to have a checkup and I need to establish care with someone so I can get my whole...everything looked at.

I can't keep on like this. it's exhausting. it's too much.

i work 4 hours a day 5 days a week and I can barely do that. it's not enough to keep up with bills, not long term - i'm okay right now and for a bit (my family apparently has no idea what "hard times" actually means and I'm really irritated by the fact that they're willing to just let me struggle because I gotta earn the right to exist or something. not my fault i got born but fine whatever - this only makes sense if you know things, sorry. i'm keeping it vague on purpose because reasons) but there's no way to sustain this. i'm not qualified for the types of jobs i should be doing and i'm not capable of doing the jobs i'm qualified for because my body doesn't fucking work.

Had a total breakdown because I couldn't lift the oil for the fryer. i've been a huge bitch all fucking morning and i feel bad about it because like... sure Dingus (one of three of the gus'es at work: Dingus, Dangus, and Dongus) deserves a little ribbing but he doesn't really deserve my Extra Ire just because he's inconsiderate. He's like 20. And it's management's job to put him back in line when he fucks up, not mine.

I cried at work again. I hate crying at work. I don't like crying in front of people as it is, and in a place where i'm supposed to be professional i just...

i go to sleep tired, i wake up tired, i go to work tired, i drink my energy drink tired, i come home tired, i sit around the rest of the day tired. and that's just if i'm not also in really fucking awful amounts of steady, all-encompassing pain. It's been a long time since I pinged anywhere lower on the pain scale than a 4 - which is my baseline and i can ignore it most days. well "ignore." i can push through it. bad days spike up to an 8. I've had a lot of bad days.

It's exhausting. It's overwhelming. I just want something to blame it on so I can start maybe at least...taking the edge off. OTC meds aren't cutting it. Weed helps but like. I can't afford that shit lol. I'm just...

I'm so tired. and I hate that being so tired, feeling so badly, all of the time is my life. And that it makes me an absolute *nightmare* to work with. Because i know it does. It has to. I'm awful when I'm not feeling okay. and i hate it.

I hate everything about it. Is there like...chronic pain body dysphoria? cause i don't have trans body dysphoria but goddamn do I hate my body.

i just want answers. I don't want to have to fight a doctor to get them. I just want to know what's going on and try to make everything less more often.

I just want to curl up into a ball and cuddle with someone and not have to deal with *anything.*

#i hate that all of this also explains so much about my mom #i don't want to understand her better because I don't want to be her #but like... a lot of things are clearer if i look at her with the idea that maybe she was dealing with all of this too #and maybe that's why she never picked up on it #if you do it and your family does it and then your child does too well then it must be normal #and thus nothing to worry about #annoying and inconvenient but what can you do? *shrug emoji* #it doesn't make this any better or easier to deal with #but it's definitely enlightening #the captain rambles #chronic pain

[forever-hating-my-misophonia]

Feeling absolute rage,losing all focus and experiencing meltdowns sometimes just from certain people talking - is that misophonia? Or just sensory overload? Or what? I'm desperate because apparently nobody feels that way and it happens all the time in my math class so I really can't focus at all and my grades are going down. Help. Please. Sources and stuff would be extra appreciated

Of course, I’m not a doctor, but that does sound like misophonia to me. Misophonia is characterized by extreme negative reactions to specific sounds (most commonly mouth and nose and repetitive sounds). It is very common for that negative reaction to be extreme anger and rage. Misophonia is also a reaction to specific sounds, and some trigger sounds can even be specific to certain people. (For example, the only person who triggers me with chip crunching is my mother.) It’s quite common for people to be triggered by certain people’s voices. Here’s an article about misophonia from misophonia.com http://www.misophonia.com/symptoms-triggers/

I think a good way to tell if your experiencing misophonia or sensory overload is by checking the environment around you. Is everything around you relatively quiet, or is it loud and crowded? If the room is quiet and the only thing bothering you is a specific sound, then you’re probably dealing with misophonia. Here is an article about what sensory overload feels like, and you can compare that to what you’re experiencing. https://themighty.com/2016/02/people-explain-what-sensory-overload-feels-like/

Misophonia is self-diagnosable, but I would recommend going to an audiologist who works in misophonia. Here is a link of some audiologist who are known to be qualified to diagnose misophonia: http://tinnitus-pjj.com/referral.html  Even if you don’t think that you have misophonia, I would still recommend going to some type of professional (like a therapist), because your sound sensitivity is clearly negatively impacting your life. 

As for your math class, the best thing to do would be to talk to your teacher. See if you can be seated away from the person who is triggering you (it might be better to be seated somewhere behind them rather than in front of them). If the sounds that a specific person make are unavoidable, then maybe you can switch to a different period. Another thing you would do is get a ambient noise app on your phone, and get permission from your teacher to use non noise-canceling earbuds to play white noise in class (apple earbuds work well for this). This way you will still be able to hear your teacher, but the white noise will give you something else to listen to other than what’s triggering you.

You are not alone. There are many people out there who also deal with sensory problems, and who can relate to what you’re going through. As long as you look in the right places, you will find that you’re anything but alone. :)

#asks #ask

[elizabethcariasa]

Options to deal with tax bills that many worry they can't pay

Do you have a big tax bill, but are down to your last bottom dollar? That's the worry of many taxpayers in this coronavirus-affected filing season. But you do have payment options. (Photo by cottonbro via Pexels)

Tax Day 2020 is rapidly approaching and a lot of taxpayers are not ready for it.

It's not just their Form 1040 filing that's an issue. They are concerned about paying any tax that's also due on this year's July 15 due date that was postponed by coronavirus precautions.

The audit defense company TaxAudit reports that more than a third — 37 percent — of the people who participated in the company's recent survey said they don't have the resources to pay any 2019 taxes they owe.

That 37 percent group is this week's By the Numbers figure.

The tiny bit of good news is that you have some options if you find on Tax Day that you can't pay all or any of your tax bill. More on that a bit later.

First, though, a look at yet another way the pandemic has created tax time chaos.

Current COVID-19 concerns: The financial crunch is due primarily to the COVID-19 economic hit they took.

The major problem, obviously, is the record high unemployment.

Millions have lost income due to pandemic-prompted company closures and layoffs. They've been forced to use whatever resources they have to make mortgage or rent payments and cover monthly bills.

Not much is left over, even after getting a COVID-19 economic relief payment, to now pay Uncle Sam the taxes they owe on money they made last year.

Future tax fears, too: And tax worries apparently won't end once Tax Day 2020 is past. Another 43 percent told TaxAudit that they are concerned about owing taxes next year.

Part of that concern is due to the tax consequences of the social safety net help.

Any unemployment benefits you obtain are taxable income. Of those who finally were able to get the government assistance this year, another 37 percent said they worry that they may owe an increased amount of taxes next filing season.

There also are tax implications for those who have other financial resources of their own.

If you opt to withdraw money from tax-deferred retirement funds, sell stock or other investments or start collecting Social Security benefits earlier than planned, you'll likely owe tax on those transactions.

More tax payment problems data: Of borrowers against their retirement accounts to make coronavirus ends meet, 30 percent worry they will owe an increased amount of taxes next year.

Twenty-eight percent of those who sold stock or liquidated other investments are concerned they, too, may owe a more in taxes next year when they file their 2020 returns.

Those various tax implications are probably why overall 61 percent who answered TaxAudit's questions said they are worried they will be pushed deeper into tax debt next year.

And while the survey did not question folks about state tax concerns, since most U.S. taxpayers live in states that collect some type of individual income tax, these state obligations do doubt add to taxpayers worries.

Most state tax deadlines for 2020 also were postponed to so are due July 15.

"COVID-19 has resulted in a financial crisis that, understandably, has taxpayers deeply concerned about being able to pay their taxes this year, despite the extended deadline," said attorney Arnold van Dyk, TaxAudit's Director of Tax Services. "Fear of falling into tax debt next year is clearly warranted."

Options when you owe: If you can't pay your federal tax bill, the main thing to do is act before the IRS forces you. You have several options, including the following five.

1. Don't ignore a tax bill. This is advice that applies this extraordinary coronavirus tax season or any year. That will only make the problem worse and lead to additional penalties and interest. Wait too long, and you'll likely face even more serious consequences, such as wage garnishment, tax liens, and more.

2. Set up payment plan. The IRS offers two options. Qualifying taxpayers can get a short-term one under which they agree to pay all their due tax in 120 days or less. If you need more time to come up with the cash, look into an installment agreement where you'll make monthly tax debt payments for up to six years. Eligibility and associated fees depend largely on the amount of tax you owe.

3. Offer to pay less. If your tax bill is really, really big and you know you'll never be able to pay it, offer to pay as much as you can. If you provide the IRS with a reasonable amount you can pay, officially known as an Offer in Compromise, you might be able to settle the debt for less than the amount you owe.

4. Consider your collectability. If your monthly expenses are more than your monthly income and you cannot afford to make a monthly tax payment, the IRS may determine that you are eligible for Currently Not Collectible, or CNC, status. You have to provide the tax agency with supporting documents before it makes this call. However, if the IRS does determine that you can't pay any of your tax debt because of financial hardship that would prevent you from meeting your basic living expenses, it will temporarily delay collection until your financial condition improves. Note that during this delay, penalties and interest continue to accrue and will be added to what you must pay when you eventually can.

5. Get professional tax help. This step is one to take at any time you feel overwhelmed by your tax responsibilities and the options you have in meeting them. A reputable tax adviser can help you chose the payment option that best fits your circumstances and satisfies the IRS.

"For taxpayers concerned about falling victim to tax debt, it's important to know your rights and seek guidance from a reputable agency to help negotiate with the IRS," said TaxAudit's van Dyk.

You also might find these items of interest:

7 ways to pay your tax bill

Tax help for those who lost healthcare along with their jobs

July 15 is Tax Day 2020, but you can get an extension by then if you need

  Coronavirus Caveat & More Information In 2020, we're all dealing with extraordinary circumstances, both in our daily lives and when it comes to our taxes. The COVID-19 pandemic and efforts to reduce its transmission and protect ourselves and our families means that, for the most part, we're focusing on just getting through these trying days. But life as we knew it before the coronavirus will return, along with our mundane tax matters. Here's hoping that happens soon! In the meantime, you can find more on the virus and its effects on our taxes by clicking Coronavirus (COVID-19) and Taxes.

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