#BUT THATS THE THING i know.. how to.. i think.. im just. dumb

[cybermeep]

everythings fine except the curtains are on fire and oh fuck the house is on fire but its not just the house its me too and im sitting in the kitchen on a chair on fire and. I . Am not having a good time. Holy fuck i havent been having a good time for like two hours

#cybers vent territory #yeah… #ignore this its like 12 am here but #oh my GOD im not okay right now #like i feel so gross #i took a bath earlier too im not even actually dirty i just feel… eurgh #ive felt like this for a few hours and have been trying to ignore it but it just sucks #and i hate it cause. i dont wanna feel like this #i hate feeling weird and gross I NEVER. feel weird and gross #but i do right now because i just got reminded and.. ugh #i keep reminding myself and being dumb #so its like essentially my fault im just. eurgh im a mess #it does not help i feel SO uncomfortable and im not even doing anything im just sitting here #uggh… i dont like it.. #maybe its all my emotions i wasnt feeling spilling out at night or something.. idk… #all i know is i am. feeling gross. and i hate it. #i literally dont know what to do to stop feeling this way.. #but ill be fine.. probably #oh boy! i sure do hope i learn how to balance my own needs! pukes everywhere #BUT THATS THE THING i know.. how to.. i think.. im just. dumb #like i know when to take alone time. but im also a dumbass #i could be spoonfed warnings and still walk through cause i wanna be nice and wanna be curious and just. make myself upset #like right now #like im upset. not upset like mad but. uncomfortable. nauseous. because im being Stewpit #does that make sense??? #i donr know #i dont really care actually its very late #ill probably delete this at some point #who knows #anyway im back to pokemon or. sleep. i donr know what ill be doing.. just trying to get less ‘i want die’ feeling

[harbingersecho]

grif's surgery but just a little more... obvious?

I actually rly rly ADORE frankengrif but I don't have an in-show reason why he'd have extensive long-term allogeneic skingrafts on his face 😔

#rvb #red vs blue #dexter grif #grif #*24 #mine #art #cw wounds #Look I love biology stuff like this so I like researching what would be at least semi-plausible even if it's just for a dumb halo show that #makes 0 sense where CPR cures a headshot but i cant help it!!! and like the 'lazy' reason for it would be sarge is just crazy like that but #its not a good reason imo. and like the things he lists needing replacement are mostly internal and body parts which makes sense #considering how grif got injured by sheila like I could 100% see that rupturing organs and crushing his hand and there being burns etc #but like nothing points to grif needing any surgery above the neck and i dont think anyone mentions his face being different? i could #make up injuries for him but nothing in the show actually supports that he'd need grafts for anything but his body.. #I'm SOO ready to be convinced otherwise btw like I said I want an obvious frankengrif to be true so bad !! #AGH would it be too insane of me to make like a surgery/injury overview thing for grif just so i can convince myself abt this idea... #i can bend to some fun stuff tho im not a total joykill u know! thats why i give his body the mismatched donor skin look despite allogeneic #grafts not being permanent w/ current tech. like it really doesn't matter if it's realistic or whatever but also Yes It Does. #and like during/after chorus would grey offer to 'fix' it? i imagine the feds could mesh a skin so they could use grif's own skin.. #or like during rats nest when they got reassigned?

[ganondoodle]

i often really do feel like an .. unwanted part of the fandom, i dont draw beautiful landscapes, i have unpopular but strong opinions im constantly annoying about and rarely change, dont like/dont draw the pretty young popular twinks and hot gurls to fanboi over nor do i turn characters into one, the opposite moreso, draw only one ship no ones heard of really, got little energy to interact with the few people that are nice to me and send me asks so it probably looks like im ignoring everyone and unfortunately but still rarely get so stressed i get overwhelmed and emotional about pehaps seemingly minor things and spiral almost into a breakdown feeling super embarrassed about it afterwards but the damage is already done and i look like a freak or agressive weirdo

#ganondoodles talks #also probably sounds like self pity #but this feeling hits everytime i see a super popular artist be the popular cool artist #i am a little weird i know that and thats not somethign bad i think #but the internet never gets to see that much of me #i tend to write posts when i am at my worst bc it has to go somewhere #so the image it tells people is that im a weirdly strong opiniod freak that gets breakdowns over nothing #i also dont feel like im otherwise -cool tm- enough to balance that out #i dont think my art is as stylized or as inventive as others nor am i cool to interact with bc idk how to be cool to interact with #i feel double bad when i misstepped with someone i used to talk to bc of something stupid ... or just dont know what i did wrong #im guessing its especially when i am in that spiraling state of mind where i really am not myself tbh #it still feels very bad bc i feel like i can never make it up to anyone again #sorry i acted like a jerk my brain was exploding in emotions in a desperate attempt to deal with something idk how to deal with- #-and made me not act like myself but now i feel really dumb about it #doesnt sound like a good excuse #... i want to thank those that do stick with me #even if i acted strange sometimes- even if i disappointed sometimes- even when i couldnt keep a promise #there are little things that still make me angry at myself #like that one time i asked in the tags whod read as long as the end of them and if someone did shoudl send me an ask so id draw a lil thing #and i got two #and i kept trying to remeber oh shit i need to do that and forgetting again/not having energy for it in a loop #i still feel like a jerk about it but now its probably too late #i wish i could answer all asks i get but man my energy for that is always rock bottom #no matter how much i enjoy the ask #and i love getting asks!!! #im sorry :((

[mildcicada]

#when i was first coloring him in he was gonna be golden chinchilla colored but then i was like ehhh jonah magnus should be red/orange but #elias should be gray ...so i just desaturated what i already did instead of recoloring lol but #he is now supposed to be shaded silver lol #but thats why his coat pattern is on the darker side compared to what it *should* be #og elias bouchard coming from an important/roch family and while whole thing with thinking he just *deserves* stuff bc of his upbringing. #etc. -> he is purebred and matches the breed standards etc for a scottish fold of his color #obviously the eye color doesn't matter because. ahaha #i thought elias fit the Scottish fold vibes because: Scottish folds are known for looking sort of like owls and having intense eyes #and the cat body/face type (also present in british shorthairs) to me gives off sort of... unnasumming vibes? #like ahaha yes i am a boring boss who loves paperwork look at how unnasumming i am season 1-2 elias y'know #trying to think of what cat breed jonah would be. and also jon gerry etc you know all the other characters i like #would it be boring to have multiple british shorthairs #i mean.. #Michael shelley/distortion is a laperm that's all I know #i didn't particularly care with the personality attributes associated with eliascat because it didn't need to fit his personality on account #of not being his original body. but i do try to keep in mind the best personality/look/etc. cat attributes as a whole for a character #also sometimes get obsessed with jt making historical and geographical sense but then it just limits me greatly to a point im not into it #so i don't care about specific breeds in that respect lol #tma #my art #elias bouchard #the magnus archives #some notes looking back(made it 2 hours ago but still looking back ok..) on it now are that i feel like elias would never choose this breed #for his next bodyhop because of the inherent health issues in scottish folds. I saw the breed was created in like the early 1960s and #assumed that maybe the health issues wouldn't have been common knowledge until later enough for jonah to be unaware of them but actually no #there's legislation about it like 6 years later LOL so jonah would..maybe not make this choice #i guess in the future when drawing i will just make him a British shorthair #my catTMA is simultaneously 'they are just regular cats or like all show cats or something' and 'exact tma plot but as intelligent cats' #LOL its just vague in my mind idk..also maybe jon can be an Abyssinian #ALSO WHAT WAS I THINKING 'jonah may not have been aware about x thing' like did i...did i forget. me 2 hours ago was dumb as rocks

[eebie]

i cant keep it hidden any longer

#i get nervousss n shit about gettin character voices all wrong #i spent all of yesterday worryin about if theyd say each others first names or last names or WHAT ! idkkk #i didnt write any more than this But i rlly rlly want to #basing this over the exact types of convos me n my friend have When i watch her play granny #i say dumb shit like ooohhh shes gonna get you Or why are you so mean to this old lady😢😢😢 to rile her up🤭 cos its funny #and then when i run out of things to say i start asking shitty would you rather questions like Would you rather make out with granny #or springtrap. would u rather have to be angel dust Hazbin hotel(she HATES him) or Pinkypills william afton (also HATES) #idk how id write that for these guys. ik theres gotta be a way though #my rambles #homestuck #writing feels more vulnerable than just my silly ass drawins Cos its lettin ppl peek in2 how i think n perceive shit . its intimidatinggg #but im posting it anyways !! ill fight off the urge to delete it the best i can #sayin all this Meanwhile it’s just a few lines from a pesterlog emulator LMAO . i take myself too seriously w stuff like this #rhas my problem i think . joviality come to me NOW! i am lighthearted and carefree about rhis #yaaaayayayaaayy!!!! #FOR THOSE WHO DONT KNOW. GRANNY IS A SHITTY MOBILE PUZZLE HORROR GAME. THE OG !!! #all the shit like Piggy on roblox. thats copying granny 😤😤😤😡😡😡 #my drabbles

[unforth]

I. Hurt.

And I was hurting anyway, I'm pretty down this morning, but this hurt came from an outside source, and affected me in a way I'd honestly not have expected.

See, we bought Nimona last week. After seeing the movie, my kids wanted to read it. And I ended up reading ahead, and I just finished it.

Bonus content at the end, it said, and I was like, oh, an epilogue to the epilogue maybe? That'd be nice. I don't love bittersweet endings, I'd rather...

...no, it's not the conclusion.

It's CHRISTMAS.

In a book that'd had no religion that I noticed up to that point, BOTH bonus extras...were Christmas.

Ya know, usually it doesn't bother me. Usually I just suck it up. I think it helps that I was raised around mostly Jews and people who, if Christian, it didn't matter much to them. I'm from the Upper West Side of Manhattan, the descendent of Lower East Side immigrants, and while the world outside was brutal - my grandfather was a World War 2 veteran and among the soldiers who liberated Dachau, I can't remember a time when I didn't know that most people would look the other way if people like me were slaughtered wholesale - my bubble was safe, we were accepted, we were insiders.

I honestly can't think of another time I've interacted with a piece of media and felt so immediately, instantly knocked across the face by OUTSIDER as I just did when I excitedly turned the page to see what these fun extra bonuses were...and it was fucking Christmas.

I didn't even read them.

I'm honestly. So disappointed.

I don't have a thick armor for this kind of hurt. I'm Jewish, and as an adult living outside my old UWS bubble, that's often meant I've felt like an outlier, but I've hardly ever had this feeling where I was welcome to something only to be suddenly, violently shoved out the door.

And I've heard nothing, n.o.t.h.i.n.g. but praise for this book. And on another day, it might not have bothered me. I've never really felt like I had to fight to be seen, especially since I'm tremendously secular. I mean, I've celebrated Christmas my entire life, for starters.

But why. Why was this fantasy setting suddenly Christian? Why was this the touted extra content? Why is THIS special, when the areligious world established to that point was apparently not special enough?

I can't say yet if this ruined the story for me. It's far too soon. But I'm *intensely*, viscerally let down, and...I hurt.

Christians...maybe stop doing this shit.

#unforth rambles #im not sure how to tag this #i dont want to tag fandom since its kinda anti #and i dont want to tag antisemitism cause its not really #and i dont want to tag microaggressions cause thatll just show my privilege that ive been lucky enough to not have this feeling more often #but seriously WHAT THE FUCK #im genuinely considering rereading just so i can see if it was always christian and i just missed it until then #because its so fucking ubiquitous that it slides right off #but i dont think it was!!! #WHYS IT GOTTA BE CHRISTIAN WHAT THE HELL #and why have i never heard this mentioned surely im not the only person to notice this #maybe it was less jarring for people who rwad along with the webcomic #since these were extras released along thw qay #not shoved in the back of the book like in the print edition #i dont fucking know #i just know i hate it #this special fun thing could have been anything #and instead it was for one specific segment of the audience #and thats honestly so unnecessary and kinda yicky #dont you guys every get tired of making everything about your fucking dumb holidays you stole from other cultures #give me back passover i demand you turn over easter as a reparation

[moeblob]

Byleth being a dancing professor is probably a highlight (and I love using Alfred so.... I had to boot up my game to get a screenshot of him with the Byleth emblem equipped lol...... and conveniently Diamant was next to him in the skirmish so I just moved him a space and then used engage to see the dance motion to screenshot. So Diamant gets comic honors doing absolutely nothing).

I just really like how 3H gives Byleth ALL these honors and titles and then Engage is like "yeah that's a teacher. that man is in the education system. he can dance, as a treat."

@arianne-blackfyre thank you for the ask!

#fe engage #diamant #alfred #i really love how you coulda gone ashen demon route or something cool and merc related but #engage really just said no that man is a tired teacher thats all he is didnt you know #i think thats really cool for byleth tbh #he deserves the vacation in an emblem... #no one knows what a prom is but byleth is so dumb hes like surely this is a universal term not coined in fodlan #surely everyone knows what a prom is i have to pretend like i know things im a teacher i have to be knowing #and then no one knows whats going on #also why does emblem byleth make hair turn pink please i just wanna know

[todayisafridaynight]

I’m fairly new to the fandom, but I do have a question if you can answer it! Why do people ship Daigo with Aoki / Masato? I tried looking to see if they’ve interacted before, but couldn’t find anything! Sorry for asking I’m just </3 dumb AND I LOVE YOUR ART OF THEM!!! Nerd looking ahhhhhh

hi ! welcome to the community i hope you're having a lovely time so far and ty for enjoyin my stuff :) no need for apologies it's a very fair question to have :]

i cant speak for everyone (all. ten people into masadai anyway) but Personally To Me i just think the idea of them together is very funny. thats quite literally it im afraid..

#snap chats #//twenty page google doc in the background// ignore that. it's mostly for comedic purposes #might also be my fault idk sorry about that. allegedly. idk ive had like three people tell me they started to ship them cause of me 🧍‍♂️ #@mementoasts is another person who's drawn masadai and whose stuff i love and am inspod by .. i love their disneyland fic sm ... #there was another artist on twitter who posted a neat drawing of them but i cant remember who they were and i didnt bookmark it //screams// #recently there's been ANOTHER masadai artist ive started following on twitter - @wifekiryu. his account's n/s/f/w fyi before you go looking #he has a tumblr too @foxdies. i say cause i realized as much recently vjeaKLGJALKGJ #oh but I GUESS ill get deeper into why. /i/ personally ship masadai or whatever #first off they're opposing factions yet their character alignments Do Not Match their roles. stereotypically anyway #aoki who leads the 'surface' of society and is meant to be an admirable figure and someone 'just' when really. he sucks LMAO #though that's not atypical of politicians but just from a stereotypical This Is A Respectable Individual perspective of his role #daigo on the other hand leads the 'underbelly' of society- yk comprised of dangerous criminals and outcasts and whatnot #yet as we know him daigo's compassionate and considerate of his men- he doesnt treat them like tools like aoki does #if put in a room with the two daigo would be most people's choice of person to hang out with. probably open a trapdoor on aoki tbh #and i think thats really cool and epic i always love that kinda Subverting Expectations thing #theres also the fact they both started off like. edgy/angsty in the franchise and then brush up down the line #masato does a stronger 180. publicly. obviously but its still really funny they both have to get their act together #if you wanna talk about in-text reasons. there really is none LMAO I TELLS YOU masadai is pure crack #but if i wanted to pull a muscle reaching then there's daigo being on aoki's side while everyone else is on arakawa's during the funeral #im lying of course. mitsu was behind him. rgg tryna make me forget mitsu exist .... put him back in y8 .... #and ofc ichi joins that side to even out the seating but moving on another Goofy Reason is arakawa being like #'the chairman and my son are like p much the same age Surely he knows how he thinks :)' #and then i just think daigo being all smarmy about outsmarting aoki is really goofy and im choosing to interpret that as personal #they both also have issues with their dad. s. dad/s/. anyway. #tbh the google doc tag was a joke but i really could sit here and list every dumb reason why i think theyre funny together #like i started going over the tag limit so uhhhh yeah needless to say i have a lot of. dumb reasons 💀💀💀💀 #one day ill use the main text for long rambles like this but todays not that day Point Is my imagination is rampant im afraid #so the short and sweet of it is I Think It's Funny. And They'd Be Terrible Together. Which Is Why It's Funny. #and the unfortunate part is anything i find funny i obsess over for a year so. //gestures to the mountain of bullshit thats my masadai tag/

[liquidstar]

I'm glad the "Satire requires a clarity of purpose and target lest it be mistaken for and contribute to that which it intends to criticize" meme is getting critiqued in its usage because... While the sentiment itself is absolutely true... I feel like sometimes, perhaps, it's not a work of fiction's fault that you're personally bad at picking up on satire

#im thinking about how i saw a person say futurama is bad because bad things still exist in the future #and its like. thats the point though? #the joke is literally the idea that if we never learn and grow from these problems as a society these are the hyperbolic extremes #that they would come to etc etc #do i think it was all well handled? probably not. it had a 14 year run im sure it fumbled lots of stuff and has shit that doesnt hold up #but i feel like dismissing it entirely based on just- #''but bad stuff happens. and i want the future to be better so this bums me out'' is just dumb LOL like thats literally the point #theyre taking the problems of today and making them into crazy hyperbolic extremes to mock them THATS WHAT SATIRE IS #there is a clarity of purpose youre just bad at picking up on it. NIXON WAS THE FUCKING PRESIDENT IN THAT SHOW FOR CHRIST SAKE #WHAT ELSE DO YOU THINK ''AMERICA'S FAVORITE SUICIDE BOOTH SINCE ****2008****'' COULD MEAN? #idk. this site is bad media literacy r us why take it seriously. but i am. bc its frustrating #bc that quote on its own is sooooo good at explaining why some ''satire'' is bad and doesnt work #but ppl who dont know how to engage w media beyond a surface level have taken it and turned it into like #''this is bad bc i didnt get it'' ok. sounds like a you problem. #but posting this is scary bc im afraid itll be used for the other extreme .-.

[c10v3r]

walks over and sits myself down politely. may I please have a charlotte x circle x parker doodle? sorry not sorry. they are my fav and there’s like, 0 content of them.

sorry anon i actually had no ideas on how this would work please accept this shitty doodle

#my brain was like not responding #sorry #hfjone moldy #hfjone charlotte #hfjone parker #hfjone circle #personalky i wouldnt date someone who used my trust to steal from me but thats kinda of just me #thast like the whole reason i couldnt think of anything #i can draw so much of my favs because i know how they would work out #which is why i do not dabble in more out there ships #bcuz without any canon to base off of i cant for sure say it would actually work #ykyk #sorry for the tangent #im just stupid dumb stupid who cant get things #when people ask me to draw things without any specifics its even harder for me to draw it #its a whole thing </3

[haemosexuality]

parents be like, i understand that signs of depression include things like having difficulty leaving the bed/house, general lack of energy, messed up sleep schedule, not eating etc. not my daughter tho she does all that because she wants to and bc shes lazy

#they genuinely think i like living like this. they think i stay in bed all day and dont sleep bc i think thats fun. they think i dont do #activities i promised id to bc im lazy or irresponsible. i dont know if they just like #Know all those things about depression in an intelectual level but cant realize that thats what that is when confronted with how it looks #like in reality #if theyre choosing not to see it bc its easier to deal w me in their heads if im just lazy #if theyre just... dumb and blind #or if they think the few months where i was taking antidepressants after my half baked sui attempt cured me forever #idk #but i dont have the courage or energy to break it to them (again) so ig we're just waiting until i get so bad i blows up (again)

[naenaex0xx]

maybe I'm comfortable with tumblr because I get to say things I don't usually tell anyone

#like how my day is? or what dumb stuff im doing lol #my “safe space” where i got to meet people somehow (and theyre very cool :3c) #well. im happy if i get to do it now #cmon nae! sympathy points wont do you any good !! #okay so. tumblr gets to be my little planner too cause i get to write things in the momoment #so im writing things im proud of! #brushed my teeth for more than two mins today #n i actually washed a lil! its embarrassing writing this here because i dont want anyone thinking im dirty.... since its gross #but anyways.. im getting better at putting my phone down at night! #that means fixing my sleep right? i just have to sort out the mornings since i lose track of time #and struggle to leave bed (its too comfyyyy >.<) #and oh. i want to start going on walks.. #itll be hard since the house is getting done n stuff but. anytine if the day. i feel like taking walks woukd be better for me #just to keave the house. my eyes always hurts when i steo outside #n thats not good :< #those are my goals for now. i do wanna get closer to my friends. and actually make friends! #ive had no friendships for nearly a year at college lol #its just been 'oh well' but i have actually felt lonely... oh well- #i guess i wanna get closer to people? #and.. talk to ny old friends too #i feel to guilty #im not good with this stuff. it drains me #but anyways. baby steps right? who knows #maybe ill make a friend on the trip! or next year too! that sounds good #ik nobody'll probably read this cause its word vomit lol #but basically yay yippee im feelin kinds alright #<333 #posts.nae/rambles

[toytulini]

idk. picky eater rights. im coming to your events and turning my picky bitch nose up at your fancy ass desserts you spent a bajillion hours working over in the kitchen and asking if i can find like a basic ass brownie with no extra flairs or ingredients or steps or whatever the fuck. cry about it. stop trying to feed me

#toy txt post #they gotta have some picky eater bitches be the judges on those food competition shows i stg #sorry for committing the unforgivable sin of my tastebuds didnt enjoy the food you made. it was intended as a personal slight actually #i am trying to offend you for real. yeah. thats definitely whats happening. god/sssss #like god irl if i dont like food you made ill try to be fuckin gracious about it buf dont fucking get mad at me for like. idk. prepping my #own foods you percieve as worth less or whatever the fuck. ppl are so fucking weird about food. #honestly guy on prev post didnt even dislike the cake it sounded like but was just experiencing the human emotion of disappointment #when the little specific joy he was looking forward too was not what he expected. if she had asked him 'do you mind if i make a similar cake #that is not the exact same as the one you asked for? maybe he wouldve been fine cos he wouldnt have been looking forward to that specific #thing. OR maybe he wouldve said if youre not going to make this very specific one im looking forward to then dont bother i dont want you #wasting the time and effort and then she wouldnt have been mad. or maybe she wouldve. ppl do get weird about that kind of thing #maybe saying that wouldve been a crime too. guess that dumb asshole shouldve shut up and eaten his stupid cake and enjoyed it and said #nothing. a recipe for happiness #anyway. hot take ig stop putting nuts in desserts. alllergy havers will prolly thank you but you know who else will thank you? #every day i see takes about food that make me think i really should be more of a picky bitch eater on maim to knock yall pretentious #food fuckers down a peg tbh. every day i resist the urge but god how yall test me. let me be the judge on a cooking show. #weird assholes who are rude abt ppl having allergies or sensory issues: come here. im going to break you #anyway more of us picky bitches who are picky just for like. casual reasons. we should he loud picky bitches on main. if a cook or baker or #whatever can accommodate my picky bitch ass thats difficult to feed for no reason we can be sure they can accommodate allergy havers #and ppl w medical restricted diets. if they can be gracious about me just not vibing w the food then they can def be gracious about more #sensitive reasons. yea i could choke down the food i dont like probably. it wouldnt make me throw up or send me to the hospital. but why #should i? if youre an asshole to me about simply not liking your shit then why the hell would i feel safe disclosing medical info to your #bitch ass? why would i trust you to follow it? and not try to sneak some shit in bc you think you know better about food? #anyway #picky eater rights. let ppl be picky for no apparent reason. cos the ppl who have uwu Good Valid Reasons(tm) dont fucking owe you that #explanation

[gifti3]

Im cursing [REDACTED] right NOW

#god i better never have contact with this guy again or i might flip out on him #im about to ramble about my past “dating" adventures (we were casual but sheesh cant even be friends with this guy tbh) #im realizing months later how much this guy i used to talk to sucked #like DUDE be a better or stay single FOREVER (ΘдΘ) #and by that i mean learn how to better handle approaching others feelings! #god the way he would just shutdown others ppls feelings and it was just an endless loop of “that doesnt make sense” or “thats dumb” #sure emotions can be irrational but if someone is desperately TRYING to explain why they feel a way (even if theyre struggling to be clear) #maybe dont be so dismissive #like literally one time i was annoyed cause talking to him was grating on my nerves #and i was like ik it doesnt make sense so let me step away cause im annoyed #and hes like trying to logic me out of my annoyance??? #like worstie im literally walking away so i can cool off #leave it be! #god looking back on all this.... #i hope to god whoever hes talking to (if hes talking to anyone) isnt dealing with similar things #ppl can change so ill just hope for that #or maybe he'll meet his match #someone who reflects the same energy he has! #tho im not sure if hed like that haha #the guy seemed to have a lot of relationship problems in general (romantic and platonic) and i wanted to have the benefit of the doubt #but now im thinking maybe his personality was also just clashing with everyone elses #which isnt necessarily a bad thing on its own #gotta get context for everything u know #but in this case....naur #like im a pretty anxious person so how ppl i care about will react to what im doing or saying is constantly at the back of my mind! #so ppl who just come off as flippant about my fee fees annoy me fr #im like “ahh what if i upset so and so” constantly #trying to make sure not to make things harder for them #and they cant even spare me a single thought before doing something and dismiss me when i get upset #but also they wanna come to me when theyre feeling sad about something???

[bigothteddies]

any followers of my old blogs, what kind of content do you miss the most?? if you miss any at all?

#unimportant thoughts #just really struggling to get back into the mix of creating things #i hate sitting down and being like ‘i wanna make some posts!’ and just unable to think of anything #I know when i was at my peak i was just constantly rotating scenes around in my head looking for new angles and ideas to post #and i dont find that as stimulating right now #and I know im putting too much pressure on myself about it! #i get it i get it i should just have fun with it #but i want to get this blog back to where my old blog was #i was really content with where my old blog was and how it stood #this one is soooo much of a shadow compared to my old one #and I know thats cause i havent put the same effort in and havent kept up with tumblr as much and i only have 1/4 of the followers i did #but thats my whole thing is i want to put in some effort again! i miss running my blog and interactin with people all the time! #ANYWAYS #long dumb rant over #what were your favorite posts of mine??? favorite categories? formats? kinks?

[coldvampire]

i want to go to class but the fact that i passed out like. less than 2 hours ago & have over an hour of Winter Highway Driving makes me think this is maybe not my best move.

#i dont FEEL tired but i know i am you know #which is another red flag i dont think im with it enough for how alert i would need to me #maybe this sounds dumb but honestly driving is something i need to be 100% confident in esp this time of year #if it was like. 15 minutes across town thats one thing #plus id have to contend with after school traffic #yeah idk im just gonna email the teacher gdfhgjhjm