#But then what is gonna push Armando to decide he wants to be good for Betty | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

youwontlikethisblog · 3 years

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I Don't Believe He Desires Me

Before I continue I want you to know I will be talking a lot more about Betty in this post and there will be a brief mention of r*** in this post.

I keep mentioning how Betty is more than just an insecure girl, that she's more complex than that but I don't really explain it all too well.

I've been lingering with this thought for quit a while now and though this is something that is mentioned in future episodes and I try not to bring such far away episodes into the breakdown of the current episode I feel like it's important to do so in this post.

Betty's first time.

We're still in the same day as Betty with her new look. Aura Maria and Betty are sitting outside talking and Aura Maria is asking her if she desires her boyfriend and Betty explains that their relationship is more than just seggs but an intelectual relationship where they talk about thought provoking subjects and things that stimulate their brains.

Betty has mentioned in the past when she's writing in her diary that she is really attracted to Armando in a physical sense but I noticed a hesitation from her when talking about this with Aura Maria and isn't only because she's not used to talking about this but for another reason because its while Aura Maria tells her that she might be weird if she doesn't even desire him to a small level or that he might be gay that Betty confesses that she is attracted to and that she does desire him. Betty isn't that uncomfortable talking about the subject with Aura Maria so why does she hesitate?

Her first relationship in the romantic aspect was traumatic on it's own however in the physical sense it was more than traumatic.

Betty thought of herself so hideous before Miguel that she thought no man would ever be interested in her until he came along. He really did force Betty to have feelings for him. He courted her, her sought her out and he manipulated her through small gifts and cards with poems and dedications that soon Betty started to develop feelings for him. Once he had her in love he plain out pressure her to have seggs.

Though we are only told the general story of it we can understand why it was painful.

See Betty in love has always been unconditional, she has been sweet, kind, loving, and faithful. She has been unwavering in loyalty. She wasn't any less of that in her relationship with Miguel. The same way she is right now with Armando and his gifts is the same way she was with Miguel. Miguel's attention built her self-esteem, it built her self-worth.

Miguel manipulated Betty's innocence's and her low self-esteem to serve his own agenda without ever feeling anything, not even empathy, towards Betty. He made her feel special, desired, wanted, and attractive to him. He worked so hard to build her self-esteem just to pressure her to sleep with him so he could win a bet.

How does this affect Betty to this day?

I once mentioned that to Betty this translated that she was so heinous that not even her love convinced Miguel to love her.

Diving in deep it translated to something so much worse.

[This is your warning to skip to the next [RED].]

Her first time must've felt like r**e in the after math. I've thought about this for so long that it's the only way I could ever explain it.

For Betty that first experience has left her feeling like no man would ever be attracted to her in a physical sense, that no man would ever be attracted to her because of her personality. That she is so disgusting, so worthless that no man would ever notice her and the one who did was horrified by her body and felt a disdain towards her as he had seggsual relations with her. She was left bare, naked, and destroyed and the entire neighborhood laughed at her expense. They spoke badly of her for what Miguel did to her. She herself said that he "Suggested" that they have relations and though at fist she didn't want to that she decided to because she loved him and she gave all of herself to him that first time.

Her first time is enveloped in guilt, shame, embarrassment, and self-hatred that it causes her to not aspire for more in the relationship she is currently in. To keep herself safe and away from harm she doesn't want to believe that Armando would ever be attracted to her in anyway other than admiration for her intelligence and she doesn't want to feel guilty or like she forced(r**p) him.

[You may proceed below.]

She doesn't aspire for Armando to be attracted to her in that sense. She doesn't aspire for Armando to desire her or want to sleep with her. She's content with the kisses, with the dates where they dance and have intelectual conversations. Though she does desire him, she doesn't aspire for him to feel the same way. In an effort to self preserve her subconscious pushes her to only view Armando as a man who isn't seggsually driven, however Betty is fully aware that he is and she denies this fact for the sake of her heart.

She knows that he is, she says it herself that night at the museum but this time Betty says that she doesn't want to pressure him to do something he doesn't want to(like desire her or have relations with her, again this goes in hand with the idea that she has that she is so hideous no man would ever be attracted to her enough to desire her and that if they ever did have relations with her it would be forced.)

While Betty and Aura Maria are having this conversation in another part of the city Armando and Mario are having the same conversation(huh I just realized both of these side kicks are named Maria, except well Mario is the male version... and they're talking about the same thing, interesting...).

Armando, scared, asks Mario if he really believes that Betty would jump his bones of those days, to which Mario says that Betty is crazy for him so he does.

In the previous post(Betty's New Look) I mentioned how these episodes are to push Armando to accept to some degree Betty's physical appearance and his attraction to her(even if it's based on personality it is still attraction) and that he also had to confront his inner self that he's Betty's boyfriend.

In this scene he not only has accepted this but he also accepts that he has a relationship with her as he tells Calderon that the relationship he has with Betty is based on more intelectual stuff.

Mario then goes on to say than what's the point of having a lover if all he's gonna with her is have cerebral conversations, that the point is to have as much s. relations and for it to be good.

Armando proceeds to say that that's why he has Marcela and that's the only thing that keeps them together.

Back to Aura Maria and Betty:

"Betty remember, nothing about cerebral relationships or intellectual or anything like that. A relationship is maintained by appearances, you keep it with the bed involved, mija, otherwise someone more experience comes along and takes him and you end up like the fool."

"No Aura Maria, truth be told, I think he admires me for who I am, for my knowledge, for my career but I don't think... I don't believe he desires me." she looks at her embarrassed and sadden.

"Ay Betty, be careful, because of that guy doesn't manifest himself seggsually break up with him, mija, break up because there's only two reasons. One he's gay or you don't inspire him at all." Betty looks off, worried and confused her self.

This is why Betty starts acting so...heavy in the next couple of dates because she's testing him to see if he does desire her, if he does want to be with her, if he is attracted to her because she knows! She is fully aware of how seggsual the man is.

Back to Mario and Armando.

Mario has now told him that s. is the best way to compliment a woman because it means you desire her however Armando tells him something.

"I don't desire her, I am not crazy about, especially now with that new look.(can't understand what he says at the end)"

When Mario and him talk about plastic surgery. He does entertain the idea but dismisses it when he says that Marcela wouldn't allow that as well as tell us that Marcela is so controlling that she checks his bank records. Personally, I don't care how many people think that Betty would agree to get that plastic surgery if Armando told her to, she wouldn't. She said it herself in previous episodes that she doesn't believe in plastic surgery and that true love goes beyond what is skin deep. She said so in the first episode and when Bertha was talking about getting lipo. She said that with her self-esteem being non-existing and having no ego and her ego has grown just a tad bit since starting that relationship with Armando.

Even in this same episode when Aura Maria tells her to get plastic surgery Betty tells her that she won't because that's for women who like to get attention, that she is more discreet. One could argue that for love Betty would do anything, but even for love she didn't go all out on her new look because though Betty is unconditional one cannot fight the subconscious nature of our brain and the desire to maintain itself safe so even if Armando did agree to the plastic surgery and told Betty about it she wouldn't go ahead because her issues are far beyond just skin deep and she knows that.

In the next scene Betty is faced with AA's picture on Armando's desk and we hear Betty remembering what Armando said about AA. As she stares at this picture Daniel walks into the office and clears his throat.

"How are you, Sir?" Betty hurried to stand by her office.

"Worried, displeased, surprised. You and I ma'am agreed that as soon as money came into the company that you'd deposite what was mine to my account and in my account there's nothing."

"Yes I understand, Sir. I'm embarrassed with you but we had to pay roster but by first hour tomorrow we'll deposite your money." Betty proceeds to smile. "You've got my word, Sir."

Daniel proceeds to look her up and down and tell her "Is your word as serious as your look." and her proud smile disappears. "'cause that attire, that hairdo, more than an assistant to presidency, you look like an circus assistant." Betty stares at him hurt.

"Excuse me?"

"Yes I know Armando is a clown and that this entire company is just clownery but that doesn't mean that you should be dressed like one. You have to have a little discretion."

Betty here tries to stand up for herself and tells him "Excuse me Sir but you're offending me."

"No the one that's offending here is you." and Armando is seen walking towards his office, through the open double doors we see him stop on his tracks and look at Betty. "What were you thinking? When you got dressed in that clothing? What went through your head when you were doing your hair? Did you think you looked devine?" Armando now looks at the back of the head of Daniel like a bullseye. "No ma'am you look worse, so much worse."

"Sir please, respect me. You're treading on something personal."

"Tsk tsk tsk. I'm butting into the imagine of my company. Do us the favor to come like a normal person. Are you convinced that because you have a boyfriend(Armando for a second unfocused and turned to look at Betty and then focuses again on Daniel and his anger) you can do what you want and finish with peoples retina? Please, pity humanity."

"Daniel Valencia." Armando prepares to yell at him furiously. "Get the hell out of my office! Now."

"Hello Armando." Daniel turns to him.

"Hello nothing! Get out of my office now! and stop disrespecting my assistant."

"The one who is disrespecting everything here is her. She is disrespecting aesthetics, the company, the retina. Someone with such an important title. Someone who practically manages the company under the incapability of her president. Someone who has under her command a company that designs style, fad, and color can't be dressed like that."

"What? Did you not understand me Daniel Valencia? Get out! Now!" Armando grabs him by the caller of his blazer and they spin(honestly this reminds me of valet lmbo).

"Sir, please."

"Out!"

"Be very careful. I am not one of your clowns. Don't you ever place your hands over me again."

"Oh no?"

"Much less push me."

"You didn't like that Danielito? You didn't like that?" He moves to grab him again but Betty goes to hold him back. "What then? What then!" He yells.

"Sir, please." Betty pleas.

"Get out!"

"I understand that you defend the economist but her bad taste?"

This retaliates in him understand that Armando in the past defended Betty's job in Eco Moda and that he was aware that she is smart but for him to defend her on something so personal, he doesn't.(You're blind, Danny boy).

"No then, Tarzan and cheetah(someone explain this to me... why cheetah? Tarzan killed it.)."

Now lets bring the previous post and this one to a concluding halt with the following break down.

After watching this exact scene so many times I feel confident in my understanding of what we are being shown and told here.

In this exact day, when Betty wasn't around, Armando showed to be upset and furious at Marcela, Patty, and Hugo for their jokes about Betty's new look and the jokes they were making about her boyfriend. Since Betty wasn't around we can conclude that it wasn't projecting or him faking it because he didn't have to prove anything to her right there since she wasn't even there.

Now in this scene Betty's eyes are always on Daniel, never drifting or shifting between Daniel and Armando but focused solely on Daniel and what he is saying. You can tell she's upset, hurt, feeling humiliated but even then she respectfully tries to stand up for herself. Since Betty hasn't taken notice of Armando in the background and Armando isn't even paying attention to Betty but solely focused on Daniel we can asume he isn't doing this for show but in fact feels furious at Daniel exclusively for the way he is talking to Betty.

For a moment though he does look away from Daniel and that's when he mentions that Betty has a boyfriend like all of a sudden he's been hit with the ole "Betty has a boyfriend?" and then realization comes "Right. I'm her boyfriend." and he returns to focus on Daniel. Why is that the thought I decided was in Armando's mind at the time? Because he blinks repeatedly and looks confused for a second before no longer being confused. It's either that or he wondered if Betty told him about the boyfriend or how he found out but decides not to care and only focus on his anger.

Armando up to this point has always been very composed towards Daniel, never shy to to show his dislike and even hatred towards him, however he's never been close to throwing hands. Even when he yelled at him to mind his business(RagTela telling betty they'd give her a commission of 10% if she got them the business deal with Eco Moda and Danny Boy went and snitched on her.) he did so because he was mad that he wouldn't let him do anything in the company without spying on him and he wanted to be left alone but he didn't even make a move to throw hands, he just yelled. This time, just like that night before, Armando is ready to throw hands.

Why does he do this with everyone else except Mario? With Mario, though he says that he doesn't like Betty's new look, that he doesn't have the imagination to sleep with her, and that she's ugly, he doesn't really talk make fun of her. He complains(this doesn't make it okay) but he doesn't say the really cruel things that Mario does and he says really bad things about Betty, like naming a list of all her physical flaws and not once does Armando stop him. He doesn't even tell him to shut up or look angry like in the past. This time he looks concerned, worried, and pained.

While yes he does hate that people devalue and disrespect Betty he doesn't have the balls to actually defend her to Mario and that plays such a huge role. It also shows that Armando is still very much in denial and ignorance towards his attraction to Betty.

Betty is visibly hurt here. She tries not to frown while Daniel says all these awful things to her and even then tries to be respectful while she defends herself. She don't need no man.

When Daniel leaves Armando takes notice of Betty's arms around him, holding him back and though he looks panicked for a second he rolls his eyes and turns to comfort her(see he's forced to place Betty's needs before his own).

"Easy Betty. I just don't like it when people mess with you, for them to bother your or make fun of you." He gently passes the back of his hand against Betty's face in an affectionate way(which he's been doing a lot more as their dates progress 😏).

"Don't worry, Sir, because he's right." Betty turns around and walks to her office while Armando disagrees. When Betty shuts the door to her office Armando stays in his and turns to look at the opposite direction, sits on his desk, and looks thoughtful.

Like I mentioned in the last post; Armando is being forced to accept Betty's appearance and not only because of what Mario told him but because he has witnesses everyone making fun of her while he is now having stronger feelings towards Betty.

This is such an important thing for him to achieve, not only because of his feelings but because this literally is what moves him to be more accepting of said feelings because you really do start to see Armando become more attentive to Betty. He becomes more affectionate, little by little like touching her face a lot more frequent(if I were Betty I'd tell him to keep his hands off my face because acne, like hello?) wanting to kiss her and not pulling away right away.

At the ending this all comes full circle. These episodes are critical to what happens on the B-Day episodes and Armando's reaction for not knowing it was her B-Day.

BONUS:

When Armando enters her office and tells her to not listen to Daniel Betty tells him that it wouldn't hurt her if was all just speculation but she thinks he's right about her new look. Armando lies and tells her her new look is great and she looks devine.

"Really Sir?" Betty looks at him, "Because It for you, only for you. So you could see me differently." She says timidly and laughs softly. Armando's entire expression softens and a smile creeps on his face while he stares at Betty.

He's happy to know that Betty would do something only to make him happy, which again, shows that Betty is the first person to ever truly love Armando while the same thing could be said that Armando is the first person to truly ever love Betty.

Though Armando is lying straight outta his...teeth this is different under context because he's not lying to keep Betty in an affair that means he gets to prove he's better than Nicolas and that Nicolas won't take away his company which is a disguise for his fear that he'll take Betty(though he is worried about Eco Moda too except it's not really his main priority). This time Armando is lying to her to not destroy her self-esteem. In his mind what he is doing is telling her a white lie while also convincing her to go back to her old look. Yes he's lying here but at least it isn't all based on selfish things.

Imma be real with ya, it really concerns me how they NEVER shut the doors in his office whenever they're having "romantic" moments in the office, like yeah son no one is going to walk in there and overhear y'all talking about love and ish.

Anyway again, I need sleep.

'Til next time :)

#don armando #armando mendoza #armando ysblf #analysis of ysblf #beatriz pinzon solano #betty pinzón solano #beatriz pinzón solano #betty ysblf #betty la fea #betty #yo soy betty la fea

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aurorasilverthorne · 3 years

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Total Misunderstanding Part #2:

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Disclaimer: Elena of Avalor and all its characters belong to Disney.

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Note: Aléjandro, Llorona, Esperanza, Viento, and lluvia belong to me. If you use them in fanart or fanfiction, please remember to give me credit as their creator. Thank you

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Esteban felt horrible for Llorona. The child didn't understand that Shuriki was just trying to protect her by keeping her away from those who were ill. Any good mother would.

He found Llorona sitting on the rug in the nursery hugging her knees trying to hide the tears slipping unbidden from her eyes.

"Oh, mija...Mamá didn't mean to raise her voice, you know that."

"Mamá doesn't want me around," the girl sniffled wiping her damp cheeks with the back of her tiny hand.

"This is not true. She just doesn't want you getting sick, that's all."

Esteban knelt down and stroked her hair. "Mamá loves you, Ro. She is just really stressed with both your hermano and your hermanita being ill. Plus she still has to carry out her duties as queen."

"She cleared her entire schedule for Aléjandro," Llorona protested. "She doesn't ever do that for me when I'm sick."

"I'm sure she would, but you've always been such a healthy niña," Esteban explained. "You've never really gotten sick before."

"I wish I was ill. Then Mamá would have to spend time with me."

Esteban sighed. "Llorona..."

She looked up at him with large puppy dog eyes. "Will you spend time with me, Papá?"

"I have to work," Esteban told her.

"Well...can I play in your office? I'll be quiet and I won't get in your way, I promise."

Esteban shook his head. "I don't think so, mi hija. Part of my job is to keep you safe, and next to the royal treasury, this is the safest place in the entire palace."

Llorona's face fell. She bowed her head like a child who'd just been scolded for a misdeed she hadn't done. "You don't want me around either..."

Esteban frowned. "No, hija. That's not it at all!"

Llorona ignored him as she turned and walked away. Esteban watched his daughter crawl into bed and shove her head under a pillow.

"Llorona..."

He wanted to stay and comfort her, but there was too much work to do. Shuriki was out of commission, so all her duties fell on Esteban. They'd each find their own ways of making it up to Llorona later.

After Esteban headed to his office, Llorona took a half hour long siesta, but the nap did little to soothe her hurt feelings. Neither of her parents seemed to care that she felt left out. She had no one to talk to. Aléjandro was the poster child for mamá's boys all over the EverRealm and Esperanza was too young to even understand what was going on around her. The palace staff-with the exception of the steward Armando-had no qualms about informing her that she was merely "a spare" and that her parents had not planned on having a second child. Aléjandro's birth was necessary. She was just an unfortunate accident.

Llorona didn't bother to tell her mother or father about what the servants were saying. They'd just ignore her concerns and perhaps even agree with them. She doubted their love. It would have killed her to hear confirmation of her fears straight from their own mouths.

Llorona was so angry, and hurt she shoved all the stuffed animals off her bed, threw a brush and perfume bottle off the vanity Shuriki had given her as a birthday gift and kicked multiple toys that were scattered all over the floor before deciding it was time for her to run away.

Her parents didn't want or need her. They didn't notice Llorona when she was around. Why would they care if she left? She seriously doubted they'd even realize that she was gone let alone miss her.

She opened the door to the nursery and peeked out into the hall. Maids and other staffers were everywhere. She closed the door and went over to the balcony doors.

It was warm and bright in Avalor with a light sea breeze. Llorona climbed up onto the balustrade to peer down at the gardens and city, the dense jungle beyond and what seemed like an endless sea on the horizon.

"What are you doing?"

Llorona yelped in shock and fell backwards onto the balcony floor. When she opened her eyes she found herself looking up into the eyes of a jaquin cub with zigzag patterns in its red fur.

"What are you doing?" the baby jaquin asked repeating its question.

"Who wants to know?" Llorona asked pushing herself up off the floor.

"I'm Cruz," the jaquin cub answered. "What's your name?"

"Llorona."

"Well, what are you doing, Llorona?"

"Running away."

Cruz cocked his head. "Really? Why?"

"Because mi Mamá and Papá don't want or need me. They already have a hijo to be their heir and mi hermanita can be the spare. They have always loved Alé and Esper a lot more than me anyway."

"But where will you go?" Cruz asked, watching as Llorona tied a bunch of bedsheets and blankets together she'd found in the closet.

"I don't know," Llorona admitted, "Anywhere is better than here."

She tied one end of her makeshift rope to the bedpost and threw the other end over the side of the balcony. She and Cruz watched it fall, but the rope didn't reach the ground.

Llorona sighed. "Guess I'll have to find another way down..."

"If you climb down as far as the rope can go, I'll fly you the rest of the way," Cruz offered.

"You will?"

Cruz nodded.

"I appreciate it."

Cruz smiled. "Happy to help."

Llorona climbed back up onto the balastrade then over to the opposite side before gripping the rope. She held it as tight as she could sliding down as far as possible. Cruz lept off the balcony flying down to where she dangled.

"You can let go now."

Llorona just continued to cling to the rope afraid to release the fabric for fear she'd fall. "Are you sure?"

"Yep."

The young princess took a deep breath steadying herself before letting go. A scream lodged itself in her throat as she started plummeting towards the ground only to land with a jolt on Cruz's back.

The jaquin cub gave an excited yip and flew up over the curtain wall of the palace to glide high above Avalor city. The people looked like ants far below as they went about completing their chores. The delectable scent of smoked meats mingled with the sweet aroma of freshly baked pastries drifted upward from the midday market bellow making Llorona's stomach growl.

"Hungry?" Cruz asked.

Llorona nodded.

Cruz dove down landing beside a stall at the heart of the marketplace. They stood there for a moment taking everything in. The bright colors, heat, noises and the crowds of people were a bit overwhelming for Llorona who'd rarely stepped foot outside the palace gates without the presence and protection of her parents and their royal guards. She hid in between the stalls where no one would be able to see her except her furry little companion.

"What's wrong?" Cruz asked. "Are you okay?" He moved closer trying his utmost not to startle her. The cub brushed up against her legs and side and purred softly trying to calm and comfort her.

"It's so loud and bright and there are so many people," she explained huddling closer to the wall.

The young princess had rarely been permitted to accompany either of her parents on their outings into the city. Even when they'd allowed her to go, they'd made her remain inside the royal carriage most of the time. At first, she'd thought they were merely being protective, but now...she wondered if they'd wanted to keep her hidden.

"Out of sight, out of mind, princesa," one of her old chambermaids had once said while tidying up the nursery. "A second child serves little purpose. La reina only needs the one and it's obvious that she doesn't enjoy having you under foot all of the time. Why else would she want to keep you hidden away here in the palace except to ensure that you're out of the way? Maru knows even the chancellor looks ready to rip his hair out whenever you're around. They don't have any time to waste on a spare. Not with an heir to focus on. Might as well get used to waiting in the wings now, princesita."

Cruz sat down beside Llorona and cuddled with her until she felt better. Eventually she agreed to come out of hiding if only because she was still hungry. It was passed lunchtime and she needed to eat elsewise she'd become nauseous and possibly faint. She'd done so in the past because she'd forgotten to eat which had earned her quite a scolding from both her parents who'd warned her never to do it again.

She and Cruz browsed the food stalls for a bit before deciding on the vender selling pupusas filled with ground pork, cheese and beans. They paid for their meal with a handful of silver coins Llorona had taken from the coin box she'd been given by her father as a gift last Navidad before going to sit at a nearby fountain unaware they were being watched by two small-time thieves looking to make a name for themselves.

"I've seen that kid before somewhere," Viento said squinting at Llorona and Cruz from his spot across the market square.

"We both have," lluvia replied.

Viento quirked an eyebrow. "We have?"

lluvia rolled his eyes. "She's the hija of that bruja Shuriki and her puppet chancellor."

Viento tossed his empty plate aside. "We should snatch up the niña and hold her for ransom. If the bruja wants her kid back bad enough, she'll give us the brat's weight in gold."

"Not a bad idea," lluvia murmured stroking his goatee. "We can always dump the kid if the old bruja doesn't pay up."

"So we're gonna do it?" Viento asked.

lluvia nodded. "Lets go get ourselves a princesa."

***

It took time and effort, but Shuriki eventually got both Alé and Esper back to sleep after they had lunch. She paused outside the door to ask Armando to watch the children for her before heading to the nursery.

Shuriki felt terrible for losing her temper with Llorona and wanted to make it up to the child. She'd been putting off her daughter's sorcery lessons for quite some time now. She figured her elder girl would be quicker to forgive with the promise of potions making or a little wand practice. Llorona had a natural talent for magic and she needed to hone those skills or her power might one day get out of control.

She knocked on the door. "Ro, darling, it's mama. I want to speak with you."

No reply. Either Llorona was still angry at her or she'd fallen asleep.

Shuriki opened the door and stepped inside. The room was spacious and airy with floor to ceiling windows and a polished marble floor. Everything was decorated in shades of sapphire and cream. A massive toy chest rested against one wall while a pair of writing desks and shelves full of books took up another. A small girl's bureau and boy's dresser dominated the third wall. Two tiny twin beds and a joint nightstand made up the fourth and final wall.

Two empty beds, Shuriki realized. She yanked the blankets back to be sure her eyes weren't playing tricks on her. Her heart began to beat fiercely as she scanned the nursery. "Llorona, where are you? Come out here right now, young lady."

Shuriki's eyes darted in every direction trying to locate her daughter. Her mind reeled as it tried to process everything all at once. The scattered toys, tiny shards of glass from a broken perfume bottle, the long string of pristine sheets tied up to the solid wood bedpost creating a trail that led out onto the balcony.

Shuriki ran out onto the balcony and looked over the balastrade where the makeshift rope of sheets swayed to and fro in the breeze. The implications proved too much for the sorceress who screamed at the top of her lungs.

"Esteban!"

Esteban heard her shriek from inside his office half way across the palace. He immediately threw down the paperwork he'd been filing and ran over to the nursery where his queen was already snapping at the guards.

"Find my daughter," she hissed, "or I will execute every last one of you!"

"Scour every inch of the palace," Esteban ordered. "If the princesa isn't here expand your search into the city."

He waited until Captain Sandoval and the other guards were all gone to wrap his arms around Shuriki. "We'll find her, mi corazón. The curtain wall that surrounds the palace is much too high and far too steep for any childnapper to climb."

"What if she's not here?" Shuriki asked her voice heavy and cracking due to the weight of unshed tears.

"She has to be," Esteban insisted. "Llorona's only seven years old. There's no way she could've left the palace unnoticed."

"Someone on the palace staff might've taken her. Have everyone rounded up and locked inside the throne room. Nobody is going anywhere until my baby is found. She better not have been harmed in any way or so help me..."

Shuriki would rain hell down upon anyone who dared to hurt their child. She'd done it many times before and she'd keep on doing it until there were no more threats to their children's safety.

Esteban knew he'd be right there beside her. Ready and more than willing to do anything and commit whatever atrocities necessary to protect their family.

Their daughter had to be somewhere in the palace. No way had the little girl gotten out on her own. It had to have been a staff member or someone else.

Esteban's top lip curled back in a silent snarl. If someone had stolen his daughter, if they'd hurt her, or put her in some kind of danger, he'd rip them to pieces with his bare hands.

#eoa #elenaofavalor #disney #shuriki #elena of avalor #EoA #chancellor esteban #esteban flores #fanfiction #original character

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writing-appreciation · 5 years

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Faked and Faited

-I know the title sucks, forgive me.-

SYNOPSIS: Latina!Reader's family keeps nagging her about getting a boyfriend. One day when she was ranting about her upcoming family reunion, Peter jumped in with an idea that was muy loco.

WORD COUNT: 2885

WARNINGS: Lots of spanish, for obvious reasons. (It's mostly translated, so don't worry!) ((Also bad spanish grammar because I was never taught it as a kid).

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Don't get me wrong, my family's fine. Great even. But when a bunch of the extended family comes it can get a little hectic too quickly. For example, ever since my 13th birthday, they've all been trying to get me to date. It was worse at my Quince when all my tias tried to set me up with boys I invited that they didn't even know. Potential boyfriends now have a fear of my family. It was infuriating sometimes.

"So then, just don't go." MJ threw out boredly, causing my rant to stop.

The boys nodded in agreement and made some comment about not going not being a big deal.

"Guys, yes it is. Trust me, mexican families are constantly gossiping. If I don't show up, it will cause some big family drama. They'll hold it against me for years. Not to mention..."

"When is it?" Peter interrupted.

"Next weekend." I replied as I absentmindedly played with my food with my fork.

"I'll go with you." He smiles.

"You'll what?" Ned and I both asked in surprise.

"Yeah, I get a weekend off from the Internship once a month and I'll go with you to keep you sane. Besides, if your family sees you have a boyfriend, they'll lay off of you."

I felt bad. I didn't want Peter to use his monthly weekend of relaxation for me. Especially because I knew my family would eat him and his little Spanish II self up. But also I didn't want to go into the lion's den alone again. Besides Peter always asked me to speak to him in Spanish so he could get better, so maybe this could be a learning experience for him. It would come with the added benefit of not being pestered about getting a boyfriend.

We didn't have much time to discuss the matter further as the bell rang, signaling us to get to class.

I walked to class with Ned. We both had a coding class together. He still didn't understand how important a family reunion could possibly be. But he let it go when we sat at our computer stations.

Suddenly a vibration in my back pocket pulled me from class boredom. I unlocked my phone and saw Peter sent me a photo. I clicked it open and saw that it was a screenshot of his calendar. It had next weekend marked as "(L/n) Family Reunion." The photo was accompanied with a message:

Your reunion is penciled in :) .P.

I quickly texted out a response before my teacher could see me:

Peter, seriously, you don't have to go if you don't want to. . (F/I).

He responded almost immediately.

Come on, (N/n), it's not a problem. I love mexican food 🌯🌮 .P.

I didn't reply because I knew my teacher was watching me. I placed my phone face down on the table. But another vibration slightly shook the table. Once the teacher turned away, I grabbed it again.

You're probably gonna have to translate the whole weekend, just a little fyi. Also should I get a crash course in your family, or is that too much? .P.

Typical Peter Parker. He liked being prepared in advance. If he was going in as my fake boyfriend, then he would definitely need to know a thing or 30 about my family.

I'll make you a colour coded cheat sheet of my family. .(F/I).

Lmao. You can't have that many family members. .P.

You'll see soon enough ;) . (F/I).

And so the next two weeks were dedicated to making a huge, elaborate story about how we started dating. It wasn't too far off from how we actually met. We decided that we should stick to real life events as much as possible so as to not confuse ourselves.

The story went like this: We were both called out of class to a meeting about which high school we would be going to. We were 8th graders on a STEM pathway. Naturally, we'd be sent to a STEM focused school. MidTown Tech did group interviews that day. Peter and I were in the same group. We noticed each other from classes, but never really spoken before. Turns out we were quick to become friends. But high school is where the story starts to go off the rails a bit.

Peter decided his story would be that he developed a crush on me freshmen year. Mine crush wouldn't spring up until the beginning of Sophomore year. By the end of Sophomore year, we found out from our respective friends that we both had crushes on each other. Then that summer, the dating began. First date was simple: a tour of a museum. We're nerds. It's definitely believable. So we had all of our kinks smoothed out, now it was just time to put our plan into action.

"Alright, who's my Tia Esperanza?" I asked while pulling away from the curb.

"She's the pregnant one. She's married to Armando, and she's your favourite."

"Okay, you can leave out that last part." I laughed.

"Explain to me the difference between your Nana, Abuela, and your grandmother. I'm still confused."

"You and I both Pete." I joked.

Truth be told, IT IS SUPER CONFUSING. My nana is my mom's mom. That's simple. But my grandma (I think) is my Nana's mom. Leaving my Abuela to be either my Grandma's mother or her sister. Our family doesn't just say 'grandma, great-grandma, or Great-Great-Grandma,' so everything is confusing.

As we approached the reunion building, it struck me on just how bad this idea was. Peter seemed to catch on to my newfound doubts in the plan.

"Hey, it'll be fine. I'm going to be the best fake boyfriend your family has ever seen." He put on a big goofy smile that made me feel better, but the smile fell slightly when I looked away. He almost looked nervous. That's helpful.

When I parked, Peter rushed his door open and ran over to my door. He opened it for me. I slyly looked around and noticed family members were already looking at us.

"Thanks, Babe." I said a little too loudly and gave him a small peck on his cheek.

Bad choice. That's how his cheek got redder than the car parked in front of mine.

"I'm so-rry, are we d-oing PDA now?" He stuttered out. Instead of responding I laced our fingers together and began walking to the building.

"(Y/n)! ¿Cómo estás?" A familiar voice called to me before we entered the building. I turned around to see my primo, Carlos.

"Quien es?" He gestured to Peter.

"Mi novio." I smiled and held our interlocked hands up. Peter, little innocent angel Peter looked so lost; but he did smile and wave.

"Sup. I'm Carlos." He introduced as he held out his hand.

"Peter Parker, mucho gusto." Peter shook his hand causing my cousin to slightly flinch.

"Strong grip." He turned to me, "Un gringo? Estas sería?" He asked with a smile.

I pushed him away and pulled Peter into the building.

"Okay, wanna translate that whole thing?" Peter said while we were out of earshot.

"That was my cousin, he asked who you were, I told him my boyfriend, and he asked me if I was serious." I explained.

Peter had a bit of offence written on his face, but recovered quickly when he saw the back table with food.

"Calm down Mr. Speedy Metabolism, we'll eat later." I patted his back.

He let out a grumble and a small pout. I ignored him and found us a relatively empty spot at a table and sat us down. I sat on the opposite side of him. I still looked around, anxious that people would put two and two together. Once again, Peter seemed to feel my doubts and placed a hand on mine on the table.

"You good?" He asked. I stopped looking around and settled my gaze on him. He had such calming eyes. They looked so full of concern at the moment. Which I'm almost certain was for me.

"Maybe some food will make you feel better?" He offered, already standing up.

"No, dammit Peter. You're so food driven." I laughed and pulled him back down.

"Oh, and who is this, hija?"

Tia Mari. Oh God. I didn't think she was going to come this year. Her son had a recital. But if she's here, then her son is too.

"Peter Parker? (Y/n) (L/n)? What are you guys doing here?!" Robert Delmar.

Fellow classmate and renowned tattle tale. This night just got a whole lot more complex.

"Why is Peter here? Aren't you guys just friends, or did Peter finally confess his undying love to you?"

What? I'm sorry, what? I looked to Peter for an answer, not presently caring if I blew our story up. My tia also seemed invested in my response. He looked just as terrified and unprepared to answer.

"Yeah, he asked me out over the summer and we started dating. We wanted to keep stuff private in case it didn't work out." I quickly explained while trying to remember our cover story.

"Well, it's about time. Peter's only been pining after you since freshman year. You guys look cute." Robert said.

We both just nodded and smiled. My tia was eating this up.

"Y Peter, ¿Sabes español?" She asked, now focusing on him.

"Un poco." He cleared his throat.

She turned to me, "Hablas a él en español, or es un gringo completo?"

"Yes, sometimes I speak to him in Spanish." I replied so Peter could understand the conversation.

"Well, then you wouldn't mind if I introduced him to some of your tias, no? They will love him. Sabes que ellas le gustan gringos!" She added the second part quickly.

Before I had a chance to save him, Tia Mari grabbed Peter's available hand and dragged him away. Once Peter's hand left mine, I noticed how cold my hand got. Robert was about to follow his mom, but my pulled his shoulder back.

"Hey, what do you mean Peter's been pining after me?"

He laughed, "Seriously? You guys are dating, clearly he likes you."

I smiled nervously and nodded. But I was internally screaming. Robert wasn't in on this plan, unless Peter told him, but that's definitely unlikely. So, Peter actually liked me? Since Freshman year according to Robert. I would know though, right? I mean, Peter and I literally hang out all the time. There's no way I've gone through three years of high school and not noticed this. But here we are.

The rest of the night went on pretty quickly. Peter was being fawned over my every single one of my female relatives. When I tried to steal him back one of my tias made a comment about him being nothing but bone. Of course, my abuela was the first to offer him a heaping plate of food. Peter accepted it without a beat. She also said once we were married, I'd have to stuff him right. This was my tipping point.

"Perdon." I excused myself from the female crowd Peter had. If I were to hear the phrase, "Cuando ustedes están casado, necesitas...." one more time I was actually going to start ripping my hair out.

I decided to talk a brief walk outside the building. The sun was still out, but was obviously starting to set. Today wasn't a complete waste. I guess my family wasn't busy trying to set me up, but now they were busy babying Peter. The only downside was what Robert said. I still couldn't shake the thought of Peter liking me out of my head. If it was so obvious, why hadn't I seen it?

I pulled out my phone and decided to text Ned about it.

Hey, apparently Peter's liked me since Freshman year. True or False? . (F/I).

I hit send and waited. I figured I could pass the time by skipping stones in the lake nearby.

"Hey, why'd you leave?" I turned around to see none other than Peter Parker himself.

I hummed in acknowledgement. "How'd you even know I left? My tias were busy feeding you."

"I felt your heartbeat wasn't there anymore." He approached and sat on a stone bench beside me.

"You can feel my heartbeat?" I asked, now very red.

"What? No, not feel. Hear. I heard your heartbeat was gone." He said quickly, rubbing the palms of his hands on his jeans.

I didn't know much about Peter's powers. Only that he could stop a bus with his bare hands, he was constantly hungry, he was sticky, and his senses were abnormally good. Good enough to know what my heartbeat sounds like apparently.

"When everything happened I was freaking out at 3:00 a.m and I could hear a thumping. I thought it was May, but she wasn't home. So I was confused. The next day I found out it was your hearbeat. Everything can be overwhelmingly loud, so I just focus on your rhythm and it anchors me."

I don't think Peter realized he switched to the present tense. This implies he still does it.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked. To not one particular question, but to all of them. I wanted to know why Peter didn't tell me about his crush. I wanted to know why Peter never told me about my heartbeat being his anchor. I want to know everything.

"Because I'm pretty sure it's not normal to listen to your friend's heartbeat." He laughed as he skipped a stone.

I made a face at how far out the stone went. It made it clear across the lake.

"Cheater, but that's not what I meant."

"What did you mean?" He turned serious.

"Freshman year, Pete, seriously?"

He sighed and stared out to the lake.

"I didn't want to lose our friendship." He replied blankly, shifting his shoes to mess with the gravel below us.

"Well judging by how well received you are by my family, I just may have to date you, Pete." I joked in an attempt to cut the tension between us.

"(Y/n), please don't joke about this."

I looked up to see the desperation in his face. He appeared to be holding back tears.

"Peter, I don't know. I haven't had a good track record with dating…"

"I know, I've seen. Your family always chases them away, but I'm still here aren't I?" He quipped.

Well damn. He's right. Peter was accepted relatively quickly to the family. Some family members even inviting him to hang out outside of the reunion time. I'd also be lying to myself I said Peter wasn't attractive. He certainly is. But not only physically or as his superhero alter ego. He's attractive in the way he is so incredibly kind and forgiving. Flash has literally been a dick to Peter since 6th grade, but Peter still manages to act kindly towards him. Peter truly is a warm and welcoming person. Everybody who's met him can confirm that he's just so nice. He also is extremely loyal to his friends. Even with his heroic responsibilities, he still tries his best to find a balance for us. His eyes crinkle when he's smiling widely, he taps his pencil to his leg during a tough test, and is a killer dancer with such kind and loving rich, deep brown eyes. And oh shit do I like him too?

"I think giving this an actual try could be great." He pulled me from my thoughts.

"I think I do too." I said, now gazing at him.

"I know you do, your is beating nervously fast." He smirked and settled an arm around my shoulders.

"Peter! Donde estas! Necesitamos fotos!" I cringed at the heard of women who were all looking around for Peter.

"Vamos." I grabbed his hand and lead him back into the lions den.

Many photos were taken, phone numbers exchanged, and affectionate insults thrown around as the first might rounded down.

When Peter and I managed to get out of the building, he was carrying a carton of food. Particularly Tia Vani's zucchini tamales. When nobody was looking he snagged 14 of them. We put them in the back seat of my car and waved my family off. My parents and siblings would be staying the night, but we had an academic decathlon tournament the next morning, so we were needed back.

As soon as Peter hit the passenger's seat, he was knocked out. It left me to my thoughts for a bit. When I pulled up to his apartment he gave me a sleepy smile and grabbed his food from the back. After a tired, quiet "goodnight" he was entering the building.

I was about to drive to my parking spot, but a vibration from my phone caused me to pause. No cars were around, so I decided to check the notification. A next from Ned.

Yeah, he likes you. And you obviously like him. It's about time you guys confessed already. We're so talking about this tomorrow..goodnight. .N.

I smiled at the text like an idiot. Things were certainly going somewhere. Huh, who could've guessed I would have went into my family reunion with a fake boyfriend, but would be leaving with a soon to be real one?

#marvel imagines #marvel x reader #marvel #peter parker #peter parker x reader #peter parker x y/n #latina!reader #latina!reader x peter parker

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pengychan · 6 years

Text

[Coco] Mind the Gap, Pt. 4

Title: Mind the Gap Summary: Modern Day AU. Tired of Ernesto’s snide remarks, Imelda decides to put him in his place and her husband is more than happy to help. It was supposed to be a one-night deal. Things quickly get out of hand. [OT3, mostly porn and humor. Plenty of instances of Ernesto being Dramatic, Imelda getting Sick Of His Shit, and Héctor trying to be the peacekeeper. Don’t expect anything serious.] Pairings: Ernesto/Héctor/Imelda Rating: Explicit.

To see the version with art by Dara, check it out on Ao3.

Tag for all parts up so far.

A/N: Even more art in this chapter 'cause Dara is a gift.

***

“Oh, there you are. Did you absolutely have to sing in the shower?”

“I did not--”

“I could swear I heard a grito. Or were you just shrieking?”

“Well, if a certain someone hadn’t finished all the hot water…” Ernesto grumbles, causing Imelda - who personally turned off hot water the moment she and Héctor were out of the shower - to smirk.

“Serves you right for getting up last. And to think Héctor and I shower together to save water,” she says, causing Héctor to snicker over his breakfast.

“We’re very environmentally conscious,” he mutters through a mouthful, causing Ernesto to roll his eyes. “But the shower is pretty big. Maybe next time we can all save water and--”

“Absolutely not,” Imelda and Ernesto snap exactly at the same time, causing Héctor to recoil and lift his hands in surrender. Not that it stops either of them from speaking again.

“As much as I’d love to see her melt when water touches her--”

“It’s a miracle he even fits in it on his own, with that ego in the way,” Imelda cuts him off, and he glares at her. She supposes he means to be intimidating; he only comes across as the overgrown pouting child he is. She smirks, and pushes a plate towards him, a couple of tacos mañaneros in it. “Eat. You look like you need the energy to keep up.”

Several things happen in quick succession: Ernesto opens his mouth to retort only for his stomach to grumble loudly before he can utter a single word, Imelda’s smirk widens, and Héctor tries to disguise his laugh with a very unconvincing coughing fit. Ernesto scowls at both of them, but eventually he sits down and starts eating. Within minutes he’s talking about music through mouthfuls, about a producer they absolutely need to meet - he knows people who know him, he can get them in touch - and entirely ignoring Imelda… who, on the other hand, is ignoring him as well and checking her emails for new orders on her phone.

Héctor dutifully nods along with what Ernesto says, and promises he’ll be available whenever this Armando Abascal can meet them, but truth be told he’s only half-listening. What he’s really wondering, as his gaze moves back and forth between his wife and his best friend, is how much time should he let pass before he suggests another night together.

He’s not an idiot; he can tell that as much as they butt heads over everything, the central focus of it all - the thing that keeps Ernesto coming and Imelda letting it happen, the rope they’re both clutching while trying to win an unspoken tug war, the one person who binds them - is him.

They keep trying to outdo each other and, really, that works to Héctor’s advantage given everything that he gets out of it… but now he’s starting to wonder if that is actually the entire story. Maybe it is most of it, yes, but Héctor’s mind keeps going back to how relatively easy Imelda was to convince to invite Ernesto over again, and how quickly Ernesto had been to bend down on their bed again despite all his complaints.

As much as she rolls her eyes and as much as he protests, Héctor can tell they are enjoying the fuck out of this, pun intended. Or at least, they’re enjoying it far more than either is willing to admit. Héctor wonders, for the first time, what it may take to get them to say as much.

A lot, very likely: they are both stubborn and prideful, as much as they like to deny having anything in common. Making them admit something as simple as the fact they’re enjoying the challenge, or at the very least the sex, isn’t gonna be easy. But then again, if you want your life to be easy, you do not pick Ernesto as your best friend, and you do not marry Imelda. Héctor has done both, and regrets neither.

It’s time to up the game.

***

I bought a pair of boots last month, and it was my best purchase in years! They were custom-made to my measurements, fit perfectly form the first day and didn’t give me a single blister as I trekked up a mountain. I cannot recommend these enough!

The review is followed by a smiley as well as a full five-star rating, and Imelda finds herself smiling back at it. Almost all the reviews are like that - the only exception are a few whining about late delivery caused by postage issues she had no control over, as she always mentions in the reply - but she’s always happy to see a new one, giving her credit for a job well done.

When the first glowing reviews began coming in, as well as the beginning of a steady flow of income, it took all of her willpower not to take screenshots and send everything to her parents, writing nothing but I told you so. She held back because she’s not that childish but oh, was she tempted. Told you so has always been one of her parents’ favorite sentences to utter.

Don’t take chances. Don’t attempt anything new. Follow our advice. Stay in your lane. Oh, you tried and failed? Well, we told you so.

Sometimes it was warranted - Óscar and Felipe’s attempt to build a homemade pressure cooker when they were eight was one such occasion - but a lot of the time it was unnecessarily smug and grated her nerves like nothing else. Getting to make things work despite their misgiving was always very, very satisfying.

Moving to Mexico City for a course in business management? They had supported her in the end, but not without a lot of stubborn silences, thinly veiled jabs and grumbling. But she stood her ground, and excelled; Imelda knows they’re proud… but she also knows that they are somehow disappointed for having been proven wrong, for never getting to tell her that they told her it was a bad idea.

Starting her own business, and online? It would never work, they told her, to many people already did the same. And making shoes the old way, to order? Who even does that anymore? Who would pay money for that when you can buy much cheaper shoes elsewhere?

But it did work; she's found herself a niche in the market and her business has grown to the point she now estimates that, in about a year’s time, she might very well think of looking into renting proper premises and employing a few people. Again, the told you so mantra failed to leave their lips, and they were proud of her. They usually are, despite everything.

And then she decided to marry Héctor which, of course caused friction. That too, according to them, was a bad idea. They didn’t dislike Héctor, whom they had seen from time to time when they played together as children; they knew that, while a troublemaker - that was usually Ernesto’s fault, but he had a way to evade all the blame somehow - he was a good kid who had grown into a good man.

When Héctor’s parents had died when he wasn’t yet seventeen - a gas leak, a spark, and they were both gone while their son was a couple of towns over for a gig - hers went to the funeral with her, after donating some money to help pay for it. Imelda has hazy memories of that bleak day, of Héctor standing alone before the coffins until Ernesto reached him and passed an arm around his shoulders. She remembers walking up to them, and squeezing Héctor’s hand, but she cannot recall what she told him.

The following year, both Ernesto and Héctor packed up quite suddenly and left for Mexico city to turn their passion for music into a proper career. Her parents had talked about it over the dinner table, expressed their sympathy for Héctor and wished him luck, and that was the last they'd said of him. Until their daughter moved to Mexico City, met him again, and began dating him. Until she had announced they were going to marry.

A musician, and with no steady job and no family behind him? They hadn’t liked that at all, questioning how he’d even be able to provide for her and pretending to have forgotten how her business was beginning to take off well enough to support them both in bad times if need be.

Óscar and Felipe supported her quite vocally - they always liked Héctor, who was a very willing guinea pig for some of their experimenting back when they were just children - and in the end, while grudgingly, her parents stopped arguing. They came to the wedding, were perfectly polite, but Imelda knew that they were waiting for the day that told you so would be warranted.

So far, it never was: Héctor always finds work. As much as Imelda doesn’t like to admit it, she knows that Ernesto - his used-car-salesman charm, his shameless self-advertising and the fooling around he calls networking - is the main reason why. Héctor has so much talent and plenty of charm of his own, but lacks the ambition and drive Ernesto has; that pendejo is the one who gets them most of the paid work and, for that, Imelda can tolerate him. Grudgingly.

Oh yes, Third Wheel Ernesto. What would your parents think of that development?

The thought makes her laugh aloud - oh God, they would flip if they knew - and she doesn’t realize how loud she was until Héctor’s head peeks into the workshop. “Found another singing cat video, mi amor?”

Imelda rolls her eyes - it was one time she laughed to tears, just one time, can he stop bringing it up? - and turns from her laptop to glance at him. “I was thinking about Ernesto.”

Héctor raises his eyebrows. “What a coincidence. So was I.”

“Not that way.”

“I was thinking we could have him over next Friday.”

“No. I need at least another two weeks without seeing or hearing of that--”

“I have an idea,” Héctor cuts her off, and he’s grinning so widely she can’t help but be intrigued. When that expression appears on his face, she knows he’s thinking something really interesting. She leans back, folds her hands, and crosses one leg over the other.

“... You have two minutes to convince me.”

One minute later, Héctor is already sending out a text message.

***

“Do you really have to go already?”

Sitting on the bed with only the sheets around her, Luciana - or Lucia? He doesn’t remember and just refers to her with pet names to avoid trouble - is pouting. Ernesto kisses that pout.

“I have a meeting. I’d love to stay,” he lies, and follows it up with another lie. “I’ll call you.”

Another number to block, of course. She’s getting attached, he suspects, and Ernesto doesn’t like that, no señor. Best for both of them if he ends this here. Most of all, best for him. He’s a free man, no strings but those of his guitar, and he’d rather keep it that way.

Plus, last night wasn’t even fun. It usually is, with Lucia - or Luciana? - but this time it was… underwhelming. Not that he can pinpoint the reason; she did or said nothing out of the ordinary, and there was nothing wrong with the sex itself. It hasn’t exactly left him unsatisfied, but something was lacking and that gnaws at him in a way he cannot explain.

A few more reassurances, just enough time to throw his clothes back on, and Ernesto leaves the apartment, heaving out a long sigh of relief. He glances at a cab passing by, and digs into his pockets to pull out some change. Not nearly enough for a fare. He shrugs and gets walking towards the bus stop, putting the change back in his pocket - and feels his phone vibrating against his hand. A text from Héctor.

Come Friday at nine. You don’t want to miss this one.

***

"Red or white?"

"Black. You look good in black."

"All right, let me see..." Héctor lets out a hum and rummages in the closet, finally pulling back with some black lingerie in his hands. He unfolds it, glancing at the transparent skirt, and holds it up. "Is this mine or yours?"

"Yours. I'd need to walk in stilts to wear that one without tripping over the skirt."

"Or very high heels," Héctor mutters, glancing at Imelda. She's standing in front of her section of the closet, tapping her chin with a finger. She tilts her head towards him, and the braid falls from her shoulder down her back; Héctor has to ignore a sudden urge to undo it, and run his fingers through her hair.

"Is that a suggestion?" she asks, and Héctor grins.

"You look wonderful in heels."

"Aw, what a charmer."

"Plus, it's nice not having to bend over too much to kiss you."

"Aaaand you ruined it."

Héctor gives her his tried and tested Can't Be Mad At Me smile. It always works. "I'll make sure to kiss you plenty to make up for it. You still love me, right?"

Imelda laughs. "Against my better judgment," she says, and reaches in the closet to pull out some lingerie of her own - the red lacy one that never fails to drive Héctor loco. "This, with the red boots?"

"Sounds perfect."

"I get the feeling you'd say that no matter what I put on."

"You could just stay naked. You're perfect when you're naked."

Imelda's smile turns into a smirk. "Ah, but isn't it better when you get to unwrap me?"

That, of course, is a logic Héctor cannot possibly argue against. Trying to think of something else - anything that will keep him from thinking of the moment he'll get to unwrap her, because this isn't the right moment to get hard - Héctor turns away from her and begins putting on the lacy black lingerie... which, truth be told, was a nightmare to find his size. Maybe he is ridiculously tall, which is why he has so little lingerie of his own and mostly borrows from Imelda, when they feel like it.

Sometimes Héctor still has trouble believing what an amazing woman he had somehow managed to marry. Back when they had been dating just for a few weeks and were learning to know each other in ways they definitely hadn’t as kids, there were very few things about himself Héctor was afraid to talk about... his taste for crossdressing being one of them.

He knew plenty of people would find it ridiculous at best, and break up with him as soon as the confession was past his lips; the thought Imelda could do that - ridicule him and turn away - scared him more than words could say... but when he finally brought it up, his face hot as fire, there was no rejection nor mockery. Imelda had seemed intrigued, and - for the first time - she had told him about her taste for strap-ons, adding that she’d wondered if the mention of it would send him running for the hills. It had been his turn to be intrigued and soon enough they both ended up laughing, their faces bright red but relieved beyond belief, clasping each other's hand.

When they had met at her place the following week, Imelda surprised him with lingerie for them both. It was one very, very interesting evening; Héctor was delighted to find out that Imelda was as aroused as him. Crossdressing soon became normal - not something that happened every time, but often enough. It was exciting, and fun, and if made for some really nice pictures that they took great care to keep in a very, very safe place.

Not long afterwards, they’d tried the strap on together for the first time and it had been more enjoyable than Héctor had dreamed it could be - so much so that he’d lasted… forty seconds, maybe. Likely something closer to thirty.

But practice makes perfect, and they had a lot of practice since.

“When is he going to show up?” Imelda speaks interrupting the reminiscence. She sounds suddenly annoyed, and Ernesto isn’t even there yet. It’s kind of a new record, but Héctor hopes they might begin to get along better, in time. It’s a project he’s actively working on.

Héctor glances at the clock on the wall, slipping on the lingerie and lacing it up. “I told him to come in about half a-” he starts, only to trail off when the doorbell rings. “... Well, there he is.”

“And there he stays.”

“Imelda.”

“He’s got to learn to take you seriously when you give him a set time,” she points out, frowning. Héctor wonders if she even realizes how beautiful she is like this, scantily dressed in red silk and laces as she puts on her boots, the braid falling over her shoulder. “He can’t come and go as he plea--”

Clack.

Imelda freezes. So does Héctor. She turns. He smiles innocently. “I, uh--”

“You gave him the spare key?”

“I figured it would be a good idea, in case one of us got locked out. I mean, he lives downstairs, and we have his spare key.”

Imelda scoffs, lacing up her boots. “We’ll talk about this later,” he says, but Héctor knows she’s conceding the point. “And you go make it clear to him that he’s not supposed to use that key when he damn well pleases.”

“All right.”

“Use those exact words, or I will. Loudly.”

“Fine, fine,” he promises. Of course he doesn’t use those exact words, even even if he did, they would be wasted. The moment Héctor shows up in the living room, Ernesto’s jaw very nearly drops - and so does the bottle of wine in his hands, really, but he manages to catch himself just on time before it slips from his fingers and crashes on the floor.

That would definitely put Imelda in a bad mood.

“You’re early, amigo. How much cologne did you put on?” Héctor asks, tilting his head on one side in the most nonchalant way possible - like he’s fully clothed and they’re having a chat over a drink.

“I… a dash,” Ernesto mutters, gaze running across him, and he swallows.

Héctor raises an eyebrow in doubt.

“All right, maybe two. I… I brought… I… are those earrings?”

“Clip-on ones, no worries. No one had to be subjected to the sight of yours truly crying before a needle. Unlike that poor tattoo artist in Oaxaca who saw you jumping five feet in the air the second the needle touched your skin,” he adds. That is a little story that never fails to make Ernesto defensive, and it doesn’t fail now either.

“I just… I changed my mind, all right? I realized that defacing my skin was a stupid idea.”

“Of course. Was that why you were also holding my hand?”

“I was not--” Ernesto starts, but suddenly there is the clicking of high heels on hardwood floor, and his gaze goes past Héctor, to the door. He doesn’t turn to look, but he can tell the exact moment Imelda stands in the doorway from the way Ernesto’s eyes go wide, and his jaw slack. His brain seems to have crashed and, really, Héctor cannot blame him.

“Oh, there you are,” Imelda says, and walks up to Héctor. She leans on him, and taps her lower lip with a finger as she glances at Ernesto. “You’re awfully overdressed.”

That causes him to recoil, as though snapped out of a trance. The look on his face goes from the personification of a blue screen of death to sudden, clear awkwardness.

“I, er…” he starts, and swallows, his gaze moving back and forth between them. His skin is flushed, and he tugs at the collar of his white shirt. “I thought we. Dinner. First,” he manages.

Ernesto.exe is not working. Please restart.

The thought almost makes Héctor laugh, but he manages to hold back, allowing himself just the smallest quirk of his lips as Imelda shrugs and walks up to Ernesto - who almost, almost steps back… but does not. He just stays still, transfixed, as Imelda reaches to toy with the upper button of his shirt.

“Later. First, let’s get this off you,” she says, her voice soft, and tilts up his head to look at him in the eye, a hand reaching to cup his cheek. Normally, Héctor would expect his best friend to smell the trap from a mile away. Now, however, he's not at all surprised when stares at her and, slowly, he smirks. Look at him, Héctor muses, thinking he knows what’s ahead.

Ay, mi amigo, you won’t see this coming.

He somehow manages to stay serious as Imelda pulls her hand away from Ernesto’s face. Ernesto lifts his own free hand as though to catch it, but he stops himself just on time; Imelda doesn’t seem to notice, and takes the bottle of wine from Ernesto’s limp fingers.

“A good choice,” she practically purrs. “I’ll get the glasses. Héctor, would you be so kind to get him ready?”

Héctor smiles and holds out his hand, gesturing for Ernesto to follow, and he does.

Oh, he's definitely getting the wrong idea of where this is going.

***

Ernesto is very much enjoying the way things are going.

It’s not something he’s ever going to admit aloud, of course, but the fact stays that this is finally taking the direction he wanted - with Héctor and Imelda entirely focused on what mattered. Namely, on him. Oh yes, Ernesto can get used to this.

He was slightly disappointed when Héctor slapped his hands away on the way to the bedroom, but very much willing to let himself be undressed down to his underwear. He was already getting hard and he expected Héctor to get rid of his boxers, too, but he had not. Instead he'd pushed him on the bed, straddled him, and kissed him deeply.

On the mouth.

That caused his mind to go blank for a moment, because despite everything that has happened - the kisses Héctor had dropped on his shoulder and neck and face, the fact Ernesto gave him, all humbleness aside, the best blowjob a man could ask for - a kiss on the mouth was something that had just never happened before between them.

Taken aback, he found himself letting Héctor lead; it was slow and thorough, and entirely too brief. All too soon, Héctor pulled back and grinned down at him. Ernesto opened his mouth to protest, or demand more, but he placed two fingers on his lips and gave him a look that made words die in his throat. His eyes roamed across on his body, on the silk and laces on him and, in that moment, he could have let him do anything.

Which includes, apparently, tying his arms to the bedpost with silk scarves.

“Try to break free,” Héctor tells him. He does, and he can’t. To be fair, it's not like he tried with all his might; he's a pretty strong guy, so of course he could break free if he really wanted to... but for now, he'll play along.

"Good knots," he says, and tries to catch Héctor’s mouth again, only to miss when he pulls back to turn to the door.

Ernesto follows his gaze and there’s Imelda, carrying two long-stemmed glasses of red wine in one hand and a third in the other. She looks down at him, tilting her head on one side, and Ernesto has to make a conscious effort not to squirm when her gaze pauses on his groin.

He’s painfully hard and, he knows, his boxer shorts are doing absolutely nothing to hide it. Suddenly very much aware of how helpless he is, he braces himself for the calm expression to turn into a mocking smirk… but it doesn’t. She just hands two of the glasses to Héctor, and smiles.

“He might need help to drink,” she says, and looks back down at him, calmly sipping her wine.

What game is she playing?

The thought makes it briefly to Ernesto’s mind, but he chases it away before it can fully form - because thinking that would mean that deep down he knew something was up, and that would open up the very annoying possibility that he’d willed himself to ignore it to go along with... whatever Imelda is planning.

If she’s planning something, of course. Which she isn’t, or else like hell he’d have handed over control like that. Ernesto wills himself to believe as much, and turns his attention on Héctor - who has put down one glass and is holding the other in one hand, the other on the back of his head to support it.

“Salud,” Héctor says with a grin, and brings the glass to Ernesto’s mouth. Impatient as he is to get things going, he drinks in slow gulps. It’s good wine, if he says so himself - and he does say so; he picked it, after all - so there is no reason to make it go to waste. Once the glass is empty, Héctor pulls it away. A few drops fall on Ernesto’s collarbone, and before he can even protest Héctor lowers is head and suckles at his skin where the drops fell, causing Ernesto - who now he feels pleasantly warm as well as desperately aroused - to shiver.

He tosses back his head, and his gaze finds Imelda, who’s almost finished his own wine and is staring at him, her expression unreadable.

“Good choice,” Héctor chuckles, and takes the glass he left by the table - guzzling it down way too fast, but Ernesto really doesn’t give a damn whether he properly tastes it; there is one thing he wants Héctor to taste now, and it’s not the damn wine.

The empty glass is placed back, and Héctor is grinning more widely. The next moment he’s back on the bed, crawling towards him, and then he’s reaching to brush back Ernesto’s hair, humming. “Looking good,” he mumbles, and something seems to leap in Ernesto’s chest. Héctor is smiling, Imelda is towering over him, and he has a few moments to savor, once again, their full attention… until they turn to glance at each other, smirk, and are suddenly a few steps away from the bed, in each other’s arms. What the…?

“Hey!” Ernesto calls out in protest, or at least he tries to; all that leaves his mouth is a choked-out noise. He tugs at his bounds, but the knots don’t give in at all - Imelda’s fault, surely, who else may have taught him to tie knots? With a snarl, Ernesto glares furiously at them as they lock lips, hands all over each other. “Seriously? Untie me!”

“Oh, we could do that,” Imelda says, turning to glance at him. She’s leaning her head against Héctor’s chest, and traces abstract patterns over it as she speaks again. Her voice is silk-covered steel. “We could untie you, and you can go home. Or you can stay put, and if you behave you get a reward later. Your choice.”

Ernesto opens his mouth to snap at her to go ahead and untie him, but then Héctor moves to kiss her neck, and words die in his throat. For several moments he can only watch them with wide eyes because oh, they are a sight to behold, heat is pooling in his groin and his cock is so hard it hurts.

“I…” is all he manages in the end, and nothing more. Imelda smirks.

“A rare good choice from you,” she says, and Ernesto wants to hit her, wants to scream, wants to fuck her, and he can do none of those things. He scoffs, and turns away. Fine, so they can tie him up, but they can’t make him watch, and so he won’t. He won’t play along, won’t even steal a glance. He shuts his eyes, and keeps them shut.

For two whole minutes.

***

By the time the last bit fabric hits the ground - once they’ve done unwrapping each other like you do with a gift, as Imelda would put it - Héctor is desperately hard, Imelda is soaking wet… and, unsurprisingly, Ernesto is beyond frustrated.

“Are you always this slow? I think I’m about to fall asleep.”

The moan leaving Imelda as Héctor nips at her breasts turns into a scoff halfway through. She turns to glance at Ernesto, an eyebrow raised. “Are you? There seems to be a small part of you that is still very much awake.”

Ernesto glares at her, and bends his knees to try hiding the very obvious bulge in his underwear. Not that he can hide his flushed skin, or the marks on his wrists from pulling so hard at his restraints. He shifts his gaze on Héctor and his expression turns mocking. “You know, if it were me in your place, your wife would already have forgotten how to talk at this point.”

That annoys Imelda enough to pull away from Héctor. “Another sound from you, and I’ll stick a gag in that stupid mouth,” she warns, crossing her arms over her heaving chest.

Ernesto sputters. “You wouldn’t!”

“One more word, and I will,” she hisses. She is beautiful like this, hair undone and eyes flashing, and her tone makes it clear that she means every word. Ernesto can see that, too, and he goes quiet for a moment… then there is a flash of something in his eyes that Héctor cannot quite pinpoint, there one moment and gone the next, a bolt of lighting against Imelda’s steady fire.

Then, Ernesto sneers. “You wouldn’t,” he repeats, and that’s it. Next thing Héctor knows, Imelda is at the dresser and the ball gag is in her hand. Ernesto has just enough time to sputter again before said ball gag is shoved in his mouth, the strap fastened behind his head. That causes him to give a noise like that of an angry ox, and to shake his head furiously, but of course it isn’t enough to dislodge it.

Imelda grasps his hair, and forces his head back so that he’ll look at her face; he stares at her with wide eyes before he catches himself and glares. She responds with a smile. "I like you best with your mouth busy,” she says, and her free hand reaches down to palm him through the boxer shorts. The glare immediately fades, and buckles into her touch one moment before she pulls her hand away, causing him to whine in the back of his throat. The grip on his hair slackens, and she ruffles it.

“Behave, and Héctor will take care of that,” she says, giving his erection one last pat before she stands and, without another word, she’s in Héctor’s arms again.

They fuck against the wall, with Imelda clinging to him, scratching his back and biting bruises on his neck and shoulder. Even in the midst of it all - skin on skin, his wife’s body so welcoming and warm, the scent of her hair in his nostrils and oh God he’s not going to last much longer - Héctor knows, with utmost certainty, that Imelda is looking straight at Ernesto over his shoulder... and that he’s glaring back.

He loves them both but ay, sometimes they can be so predictable.

***

[Back to Part 3]

[On to Part 5]

#pixar coco #hector rivera #imelda rivera #ernesto de la cruz #coco #mind the gap

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i-write-stuff-its-ok · 7 years

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Petals and Ink part two

Summary: Michael heads back home with Jeremy still on his mind. Him and his sister talk about his new tattoo. Michael then exhausted goes to bed. The next day he goes to work having to face Christine and Brooke after standing them up and has to explain why he didn’t meet with them at the mall. Michael then gets a surprise visit from a special someone.

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: Very mild swearing.

Word count: 2393

Author's note: It’s one of my headcanons that Michael comes from a huge family with lots of siblings. Cathy Mell is a character me and my friend @daily-awkward-weirdo have created along with any other Mell family members mentioned as the story continues.

Michael pulled into the parking structure underneath the building. He Locked his car and took the elevator up to the lobby. The elevator inside was still broken so he took the stairs up to his apartment. His mind was still racing and all he wanted to do was go to bed. He walked up to his apartment and fumbled with the keys before unlocking the door and entering. He walked quietly fearing his sister might be asleep and he didn't want to wake her up. He closed the door behind him. “ Hey little bro what's up?” said a girl in the kitchen. She was sitting on the counter mixing a bowl of what looked like frosting. Her dark raven hair was pulled up in a messy bun, her square framed glasses slid down her face. Her yellow sweater had flour sprinkled on it and her long fuzzy socks were falling down. “ Cath it’s almost one in the morning why are you still up?” Michael asked. “ Shouldn’t I be asking you the same thing?” she smirked. “ What were you doing? Huh? Why are you just getting home? Are you in a secret relationship that I don’t know about? I'm your big sister you can't hide these things from me.” Cathy said. “ No I just did something.” Michael said. “ What? Come on tell me. Please. As your roommate, sister, and best friend I have a right to know. Did you kill someone?” she prodded. “ No!” Michael cried out annoyed. “ Then what was it?” she begged. Michael sighed exasperated before lifting his right sleeve to reveal his new tattoo. “ Michael Armando Mell, Mom is gonna kill you.” Cathy said her jaw dropping at the sight of what her brother had done. “ I know that is why I’m not gonna tell her.” Michael stated. “ How the hell are you planning on hiding that from her, it’s on your wrist!” Cathy said smacking her brother's arm lightly. “ I was gonna borrow your fondation, duh.” he said nonchalantly. “ What on earth makes you think I’m gonna let you use my make up?” Cathy said snidely. “ I didn’t say I was gonna ask first.” Michael smirked. “ Uggg. You are impossible.” Cathy groaned, adjusting her glasses. “ Now answer my question, why are up?” Michael asked. “ I got an idea for a new recipe. Marshmallow lemon cupcakes.” Cathy said. “ Fair enough.” Michael agreed as he sat down at the table. “ So what’s your plan for when Mom inevitably finds out about your tattoo. You can’t hide it forever.” Cathy asked as she licked some marshmallow frosting from her spoon. “ My plan is, is, I don’t know.” he admitted. “ She is gonna kill you I hope you know that.” Cathy said as she added more marshmallow fluff to the bowl. “ Eh, I lived long enough and fulfilled life.” Michael shrugged. “ If having a fulfilled life means being a single florist then I guess I’m doing something wrong.” Cathy teased. “ I’m not single I am in a committed relationship.” he protested. “ Your laptop isn’t a boyfriend.” “ Ugggggg.” “ You've been single your whole life Michael. Your eighteen isn't there anyone you like?” Cathy asked. Michael sat and thought. Was there anyone he liked. He has had a few small crushes there but no one that particularly popped out. There was no one he thought of who stood out to him lately. The only person he could think of was, no, no he dosen’t count. He had only known him for a few hours. He was a stranger. A really nice stranger. A really nice stranger with great taste in video games, and really pretty eyes, and a cute laugh , and amazing art skills ,and-. Cathy cut off Michaels racing thoughts. “ Hello, Earth to Michael Mell. You in there little bro?” Cathy snapped her fingers in front of Michael's face. “ What huh what happened?” Michael asked snapping out of his trance. “ You were all spaced out, you ok something on your mind?” Cathy looked concerned. “ No, I’m fine. I’m just tired. It’s late I’m gonna go to bed.” Michael rubbed his temples. “ Oh,ok. Goodnight.” Cathy said with a smile. “ G’night.” Michael walked into his room. Fairy lights were hung up on the walls and small plants where on almost every shelf. On top of a dresser was a glass tank with a small albino snake. “ Hello Daisy.” Michael said smiling as he pushed his face into the glass. The snake slithered up to the glass and she stuck her tongue out at Michael. He changed into an old t shirt and sweatpants and collapsed on to his bed. A small Calico cat dashed out from under the bed and jumped up on to the bed and rubbed against Michael. “Hi Cookie dough.” Michael pet the cat on his head. He sunk his head into his pillow and buried himself under the flowery covers and slowly fell asleep, the thought of Jeremy still on his mind.

Michael woke up to his alarm beeping. He sleepily looked over at his alarm clock and shut it off. It’s six am and he rolled out of bed and got dressed. He pulled on a purple sweater and light blue overalls and pink converse. He strolled into the kitchen and found Cathy frosting cupcakes sipping a cup of coffee. “ Morning.” she said with a yawn. “ Did you ever go to bed last night?” Michael asked. “ You didn't go to bed and stayed up all night baking again didn't you.” “ Ding ding ding, we have a winner.” Cathy joked. “ Cath you can’t do that ,this is your third all nighter this week. You need to get some sleep.” Michael scolded as he poured himself a bowl of cinnamon toast crunch. He sat down at the table and ate lazily. Cookie dough wandered into the room and rubbed against Cathy's leg purring. Michael finished up his cereal and put the bowl in the sink. He grabbed one of Cathy’s Lemon marshmallow cupcakes before leaving . “ I gotta get to work see ya Cath.” Michael said. “ See you later.” she replied as she gave Cookie dough belly rubs. “ And take a nap well I’m gone!” Michael shouted before closing the door. He walked down the stairs to the lobby and took the elevator to the parking complex below. He got into his car and drove off to Pastel Petals

Michael parked his car in front of the shop and walked in. Christine and Brooke were already inside. He gave the girls a wave. Christine turned away from Michael. “ Good morning Christine.” Michael said awkwardly. Christen said nothing. “ Is something wrong?” Michael asked. Christine elbowed Brooke. “ Christine told me to tell you that she’s not talking to you in till you explain yourself.” Brooke said firmly. “Explain myself?” He asked cocking his head to the side. “ Where were you yesterday we waited for hours!” Christine snapped. “ So much for not talking.” mumbled Brooke as she walked into the back. “ Oh… that..” Michael struggled to find the right words. “ And why didn’t you pick up your phone? I texted you like a bajillion times.” Christine said angrily. “ Look, I am so sorry but I got, well distracted.” He admitted. “ By what?” she asked mildly offended. “ Well you see I…there was this.. I mean there was a… a…” Michael didn’t know what to say. He gave up the idea of thinking up a believable lie, he just decided to tell the truth. “ There was… this..umm.. guy..and..well we started talking and we lost track of time. I’m really sorry.” Michael said red in the face. “ A guy? Was he cute?” Christine said slowly turning around. “ I-I mean, I mean h-he was I mean it’s n-not l-like I mean he…” Michael felt his face grow red, “ Yes. He was very cute.” he said his head in his hands blushing furiously. “ AHHHHHHHHHHHHH MICHAELS GOT A BOYFRIEND!” Christine screamed shaking Michael back and forth. Brooke rushed back in at the sound of Christine’s squeals. “ Michael has a boyfriend?” Brooke asked her interest peaking. “ He’s not my boyfriend.” Michael said embarrassed. “ Not yet.” Christine teased. “ Hey, what happened to being mad and not talking to me?” Michael asks. “ I retract my anger now that I know you had a proper excuse.” She smiled. “ Now I want details. What’s he look like? What are his hobbies? What’s his-” Christine’s rambling was cut off by Michael. “ Slow down I've only known him for a few hours.” “ Ok well then well at least tell us his name.” Brooke eager to know more about this mystery boy. “ Ok, ok. Well his name is-” ,the bell on the door ringed as a customer walked in Michael looked up to see, “ Jeremy?” Michael was shocked to see him standing there in the doorway. “ Hey Michael.” Jeremy said with a wave. “ W-what are you doing here?” Michael asked. “ Oh you know, I just was here to uhhh, get some flowers to, uh you know brighten up … the shop, ha ha.” Jeremy said with an awkward smile his eyes darting around. Michael could feel Christine and Brooke staring at him and Jeremy. “ Well a tattoo parlor is rather dark but I’m sure I can find something that will match the decor, I’ll be back.” Michael said before darting into the back to look at flowers but to mostly escape the stares of Christine and Brooke. After Michael left the girls turned their attention to Jeremy. “So…” said Brooke with a smirk. “ So..”, Christine said looking Jeremy up and down “ what are your intentions with Michael did you really come here for just flowers hmmmmmm? Or are you here for something else.” Christine was leaning over the counter. “ I…” Jeremy says shaken ,was he really that obvious. “ And let one thing be clear,” her voice got low, “ Michael is one of if not the nicest sweetest person I have ever met. He wouldn’t hurt a fly. And if he tells me anything ANYTHING at all about you hurting him. I. Will. Destroy. You. GOT IT!” She was nose to nose with Jeremy as she leaned over the counter practically on top of it. Jeremy gulped and nodded his head. “ Now onto the important stuff.”, said Brooke, “ How old are you?” “ I’m eighteen.” “ What's your favorite food?” “ Strong tie between pizza and sushi.” Brooke and Christine nodded at Jeremy's answers. “ Ok, favorite movie?” Christine asked. “ As nerdy as it sounds all the Harry Potter movies.” Jeremy said running his fingers through his hair. “ Favorite band?” asked Brooke. “ I listen to a lot of different stuff but my top three are Fall Out Boy, Jukebox The Ghost, and Twenty One Pilots.” Jeremy said with an awkward smile. “ Do you have any tattoos?” Christine asked raising her eyebrow. “ Just a few.” Jeremy said as he took off his jacket to reveal small tattoos of constellations and planets on his arms and a shooting star on his right wrist. “ Wow, those are so pretty.” Brooke said staring at the drawings. “ Thanks, I designed them myself.” Jeremy said smiling. “ Whoa.” the girls said in unison. “ Final questions.” Christine said straightening up. “ Do you like musical theater, and if so what’s your favorite musical?” “ I love musicals actually. And I love Dear Evan Hansen. I cry every time.” Christine got out from behind the counter and circled Jeremy. “ Oh I like you.” Christine said nodding. “ Ummm, thank you?” Jeremy said starting to feel awkward again. Michael walked back in with a white lilies and lavender sprigs planted in a dark purple pot. He saw Christine circling around a very uncomfortable Jeremy. “ Christine! What are you doing to him?” Michael asked in horror dropping the flower pot. It broke on the ground making a mess. “ Shit I, Uggggg. I’ll clean this up just give me a second.” he ran into back to grab a broom and dust pan. Michael came back out and started to clean up. “ Here let me help.” Jeremy said as he walked over and picked up the dust pan. “ Oh, y-you don’t have to.” Michael stammered. “ No no i-it’s fine, it’s nothing.” Jeremy said with a lopsided smile. Jeremy sat down and held the dust pan as Michael swept up the dirt. “ Sorry about, you know.” Michael said glancing over to the girls who were arranging a new bouquet of flowers. “ It’s ok.” Jeremy said turning pink. After the mess was cleaned up they walked over to the counter and Michael rang Jeremy up for his plants. “ Thanks these are really nice.” Jeremy said glancing off to the side. “ It’s nothing, just my job.” Michael said. Jeremy picked up the plant and grabbed a business card before heading out. “See you around.” Jeremy said with a wave. “ Bye.” Michael said waving back watching him as he walked away. He sighed longingly as he stared out the window towards where Jeremy walked off. Suddenly loud squeals filled the shop. The girls shouted in delight scaring Michael. “ I like him.” Christine beamed. “Me to!” Brooke agreed in delight. “So you gonna ask him out?” Brooke teased. “ What no I what? I don’t I mean I don’t, I can’t ” Michael stammered burying his head in his hands. “ Awww your so cute.” Christine teased. “ Somebodies in love!” Brooke smiled as she poked Michaels face. “ Shut up.” he blushed.

The day continued on as normal the Pastel Petals wasn’t very busy. A few customers wandered in here and there but it was a very slow day. Michael sat at the front counter scrolling threw his phone. Suddenly the stores phone range. Michael answered, “ Hello thank you for calling Pastel Petals. My name is Michael, how can I make your day a brighter bouquet.” A familiar voice was on the other line. “ Hey Ith thith Michael?” the voice asked. “ Yes this is Michael speaking, who is this?” he asked. “ Thith ith Rich from Needlepoint Tattoos. I have a qethtion.” Rich said. Michael heard a muffled voice in the background. “ Please don’t do this Rich oh my god. No please don’t.” the muffled voice said. “ Yeah tho um my friend and I have a, ummm bet going.” Rich continued. “ Rich don’t ask him I don’t need you to, please this is invasive.” the voice panicked. “ Are you gay?” Rich asked casually. “ This is humiliating.” whined the voice. “ I umm w-what?” Michael stammered. “ Are you gay?” Rich asked.

#Be More Chill #bmc michael #bmc jeremy #bmc fanfic #bmc micheal mell #bmc rich #fanfic #fanficion #shipping #bmc boyf riends #boyf #riends #bmc christine #bmc brooke

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equivvitch · 7 years

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Fassathon: A Summary (Part I)

So, this summer, in the year of Our Lord 2017, I decided to do something stupid and unnecessary, as I do, by watching every single theatrically-released movie Michael Fassbender has been in thus far. Every single one. I dubbed it the Fassathon and didn’t rest until I was finished. (I know a lot of his early career was in television and in television movies (trust me I know the only thing I have to type in my search bar is “im” and his IMDb page pops up automatically) and given more time I’ll probably watch some of those but for the sake of not having to watch like seven more movies I granted myself that leniency.)

All in all, I’d say it took about two months. In total I believe I watched 24 movies, having already watched five beforehand (the new X-Men trilogy, Shame, and Jane Eyre) for a grand total of 29 damn movies (full disclosure, one was a bonus which you’ll see eventually but whatever). Some of them were actually ones I needed/wanted to watch but a lot were….not.

In any case, for the sake of posterity and making myself feel better about being a dumbass, I decided to write up some kind of summary piece about it, so that’s what this is. It got fuckign long so it’s gonna be divided into three parts: two just reviewing the movies and one with some summary thoughts.

This is part one, but first, it wouldn’t be a post by me without eighty disclaimers so let’s get that out of the way first:

This is all subjective obviously. Keep in mind I had to watch all of these so a lot of times I tended to compare them more to themselves than films as a whole. I tried to see the big picture after the fact but when you have 28 films to watch you tend to get hyper-focused on the task at hand. Also I’m not a film critic. I’m just an asshole and a dumbass, a dumb asshole if you will. I am interested in film theory but that means about jack since I have no formal education in it.

It should also be noted that a) Fassbender’s performances in these movies were almost uniformly excellent. The man can carry a movie on his goddamn back and often does if required to do so. This was noted consistently to the point of it being funny in the reviews of each movie. b) A lot of these are British movies. They’re not Hollywood. Just…..pointing it out. And c) I’m 1000% attached to some of these films/franchises outside of this “challenge.” X-Men in particular and also Jane Eyre I’m invested in deeply so that might affect my ideas.

That out of the way, without further ado, some reviews, thoughts, and recommendations:

X-Men: First Class (Erik Lehnsherr)

Rating: 8/10

Quick Summary: At the height of the Cold War, Charles Xavier and Erik Lehnsherr meet under unlikely circumstances and form an even more unlikely bond. They end up with a common goal in defeating a ghost of Erik’s past, Sebastian Shaw, who is determined to cause nuclear war between the U.S. and Soviet Union in hopes of destroying all humans and making way for mutant rule. The two set out and put together a team of mutants to help combat him, but push their relationship in the process to an unfortunate breaking point.

Some Thoughts: I have watched First Class so many times you have no idea. Understand, I once did a full rewatch of this movie for the sole purpose of fact-checking a post that was talking about how many times Charles says “Erik” throughout the movie. I sat there and tallied them by rewatching the entire thing. I love this movie to pieces, so I really have no ability to objective over it. Because of that I do know its flaws pretty well, trust me. It has issues (coughs about the ridiculous awful romantic subplots), but I really do think it’s a strong film and an interesting start to this quasi-reboot. Ultimately it’s a movie about the relationship between Erik and Charles, so that is its strongest point. There are some big shoes to fill, considering Sirs Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellan had the roles first, but McAvoy and Fassbender do a great job with it. It was stated in interviews that McAvoy was cast first and then they made the guys going out for the role of Erik read with him to cast a chemistry instead of a person and it shows. It really is shot like a love story, especially when the B-plot is an explicit romance between Hank and Raven. In my opinion it’s a fun ride, watching everyone meet and use their powers, train together and learn together. The ending is not that happy and I always shake hands with movies that dare to do that, especially big films like this (see GotG 2). It can be silly and frustrating at times, but after Last Stand I feel like we could only go up. I know some people really don’t like this movie which? I guess I’d like to hear from someone who doesn’t to understand why. That being said, Armando deserved better. Fuck his nonsensical death.

Warnings: Montages? Also some violence. Not a ton but what’s there sticks in your head.

Recommend?: Yeah! If you like superhero movies this is a pretty solid one.

X-Men: Days of Future Past (Erik, but this time in the 70s, and with less turtlenecks and more scarves)

Rating: 9/10

Quick Summary: (This plot is so convoluted I’m going to have to be vague otherwise this could take years.) In an apocalyptic future these robots called Sentinels are murdering everyone, particularly mutants because at one point a guy named Dr. Trask got ahold of Mystique’s DNA and used it to make them indestructible. The always wonderful and patient Logan gets sent back to the past to try and stop this from happening. There he finds Charles in a terrible, drug-induced spiral having lost everything and has to attempt to get him out of it so he can help find Raven who’s gone rogue and wants to kill Trask for his experimentation on mutants. In the process they join up with Erik, courtesy of Peter/Quicksilver, which doesn’t go well, which no one could have ever seen coming. The whole thing comes to a head when Raven has to decide whether to become a murderer and risk an even darker future or let Trask walk free and go against what she believes in.

Some Thoughts: I remember so clearly sitting the theatre and seeing the first preview for this, turning to my family and joking about the really stupid title. Like “Days of Future Past? What kind of title is that?” It’s up there with Back to the Future in terms of dumb titles, but is somehow pretty much acknowledged as the best of the current three, alternate timeline movies?? In spite of its ridiculously convoluted plot, it’s a really solid film and has great character development for two of the big players, Charles and Raven. Wolverine acts as a familiar foundation and point of view for the story and grounds it as he often does. Charles has to learn to stop trying to control those around him and move on with his life despite past losses, and Raven has to make a pivotal choice for her character. The scene at the end where it’s flipping between the future and past and all the original cast and the new cast are fighting at the same time is really cool, and the character arcs are strong and satisfying. The only one who doesn’t change much is Erik, but arguably First Class was his platform for character development or, more accurately, regression. He doesn’t do anything that helpful (which is….true to form) but watching him lift an entire fucking baseball stadium, fly it through the air, and drop it on top of the White House is pretty rad. Also Quicksilver is incredible holy shit the way they do his scenes is iconic. Kind of confusing maybe, but it also retconned almost the entirety of the original timeline in a genius move to destroy Last Stand once and for all. It’s usually called the best for a reason.

Warnings: Wolverine gets stabbed by stuff and shot a lot but that’s par for the course

Recommend?: Yep! But you might want to have watched some of the other movies first. Watching it with no background would probably be….too much.

X-Men: Apocalypse (Still Erik/Polish(?) Lumberjack/Poster child for Man Pain™)

Rating: 5/10

Quick Summary: An ancient mutant named Apocalypse (or En Sabah Nur if we’re going to be technical) awakens in the midst of the 80s (because there must be a 10 year gap between each movie it’s a rule). He used to rule but now he doesn’t and he’s mad so now he wants to destroy the world or some shit and rebuild it in his image. He does this by getting together his four horsemen (get it) including Erik who is inexplicably in Poland with yet another family that gets fridged. The X-Men find this out and get together to take him down.

Some Thoughts: I can (and have) ranted about this movie for literal hours. I have some serious personal gripes with it and it annoys me to the point where I’ve blown it out of proportion so keep that in mind. That rating might be a bit low but this movie is mediocre at best. I guess the core of it is because the X-Men conflict is a lot more interesting when they’re up against some government entity or society as a whole rather than just some random villain, at least to me. This movie also does not have a strong foundation like the first two did, no solid grounding point. In XMFC it was Erik and Charles’s relationship, in DoFP it was Wolverine being the POV character, but in this we really have nothing. The stuff with the kids is probably the most interesting and I hope they do more of that in the upcoming sequel. It has a few good moments (Quicksilver’s scene and Erik dramatically throwing down giant steel beams in the shape of an “X” in front of Apocalypse as he switches sides to save Charles and co stick out in my mind) but it tends to drag otherwise. There are about twenty plots going on and it takes forever for them all to connect. The romantic subplot crap is a pain in the ass and dragging Moira back was particularly idiotic when you realize they once again gave her nothing to do in the final act except overlook Charles completely violating her personhood in the first movie by wiping her mind without consent so she can get back together with him. The shit with Erik’s Poland family is stupid even if it’s done well. Magneto of all fucking people does not need more man pain for god’s sake. Lawrence is so checked out she really might as well be a phone recording as Lindsay Ellis points out in her Loose Canon series on YouTube. The only one who really had any interesting development was Storm and I hope they keep on with her because she’s a really good character. There’s just not much there for me, or what is there isn’t of any value. I really hope the next one is better. (Probably a far-fetched hope but a girl can dream.)

Warnings: Lazy writing (and comic-book-movie-typical violence)

Recommend?: I mean you probably want to watch if you’re watching the series. It’s not the worst X-Men movie. I’m probably a little harsh on it. There are the Wolverine sequels. Still, if you’re not that invested, it’s probably not worth it.

Jane Eyre (Rochester)

Rating: 11/10 10/10

Quick Summary: Jane Eyre has lived a fairly unfortunate life, having been put under watch of her cruel aunt after her parents’ deaths and consequently sent to a boarding school that beats its pupils into submission, but remains strong in spite of this. She finds herself a new job as a governess at Thornfield Hall and soon meets its master, Edward Fairfax Rochester. The two begin to talk and form an interesting relationship in spite of their large age difference. Jane begins to fall for her employer, overlooking his rough exterior to the person underneath. Rochester reciprocates, but all is not well. Jane discovers her lover is hiding a dark secret and must decide whether to be true to her love for him or to herself.

Some Thoughts: I WOULD DIE FOR JANE EYRE TBH THE DAY NETFLIX TOOK IT OFF WAS A TRAVESTY. Really, though it’s such a good movie and very loyal to the book. It’s a period piece, but it’s very different from something like Pride and Prejudice, a lot because Jane is such an interesting character. I love her and Mia Wasikowska does a great job. Rochester is a bitch, but…..he’s a bitch with a good heart. Realistically he’s supposed to be kind of….not good looking? So casting Fassbender might have been counterproductive, but it does mean he has to compensate for his incredibly square jawline which can’t be hidden behind that shit sideburn beard with his acting, which he does very well. His charisma kind of helps to smooth over the fact that Rochester can be standoffish to viewers that aren’t prepared for him. He is no Mr. Darcy. The chemistry between the two is great and the story is really enthralling. The music is gorgeous and the ending is satisfying. Well-shot, well-paced, loyal to the original, just a great adaptation all together. It’s not a happy movie, but it has a happy ending. I really have nothing but good things to say about it. Please give it a chance if you’re even a bit interested.

Warnings: You might cry/a little blood

Recommend?: Yes!

Shame (Brandon)

Rating: 10/10

(Quick note: if you’re like “wow you sure aren’t harsh on these movies” listen this was back when I was actually choosing the ones I wanted to watch….so yeah….these are mostly good ones at first. There are definitely some bads on here….don’t you worry…)

Quick Summary: Without giving away everything: Brandon is a pretty normal man struggling with a sex addiction which he basically refuses to acknowledge at the beginning of the movie. His lifestyle is disrupted when his younger sister Sissy comes to stay at his apartment without asking him first. The rest of the film is about their complicated and mildly toxic relationship and Brandon dealing (and not dealing) with his addiction with mixed results.

Some Thoughts: This is one of those movies like Brokeback Mountain that just kind of….sticks on you. I felt that way about Silence of the Lambs too where you watch it and then you can’t really forget about it. Fassbender has worked with Steve McQueen who directed this film three times, this being the second, and they make a great pair. McQueen loves him some long takes and he does them well. His style of directing is unflinching to the point of it being uncomfortable which works well for the type of stories he likes to tell. It’s a very quiet movie, not much dialogue, but it really hits home. This really is one of Fassbender’s best of performances in my opinion. He can do a lot with just his expressions and it really shows here. The dynamic between him and Carey Mulligan who plays Sissy is really poignant. I probably could never do it justice with words alone. It’s difficult to watch, but worth it. It’s one of those movies where the protagonist doesn’t really grow, pointed out very blatantly here. True development hasn’t taken place, at least not yet. Whether or not you think it actually will after this is left up to how optimistic you are for the characters and the story.

Warnings: This is rated NC-17 for a reason. They do not shy away from anything and they do not cut you a break by easing into it. Translation: if you’re disinterested in becoming familiar with some very particular bits of Fassy’s anatomy I’d steer clear. Also strong warning for themes (and fairly graphic depictions) of self-harm.

Recommend?: I would never tell someone to watch this movie, but I would definitely advocate for it. Read the description (that a professional has written, not just mine fff), check the warnings, see if you’re up for it. This is one you need to choose to watch, not be forced to.

Macbeth (Macbeth)

Rating: 6/10

Quick Summary: Oh god, I still don’t remember the plot of this thing…. I swear I read it once but you’d be better off reading the Spark Notes or something. It’s based on the Shakespeare play (obviously) where this dude named Macbeth and his wife Lady Macbeth go around killing people to gain power because some weird ladies in the middle of a field told him he’d be king. Everyone fucking dies at the end per usual due to really ridiculous loopholes. A grand old time, as always, with Mr. ‘speare.

Some Thoughts: Listen pal I got food poisoning trying to watch this damn movie THE CURSE OF THE SCOTTISH PLAY IS REAL. But really, it’s kind of what you’d expect? All of this is coming from me, an idiot, who doesn’t remember the play super well and is shit at Shakespeare, so bear that in mind, but?? It stuck to the original pretty well. It’s played dead-ass straight, so know that right now. There is no humor in this movie ever; it’s completely serious. Also impossible to understand because it’s Shakespearean English in Scottish accents. You’d be better off with a background knowledge of the play I think. That said, the visuals in this movie are absolutely gorgeous holy shit. The ending fight scene is incredible. That alone made it worth the watch for me at least. Marion Cotillard who plays Lady Macbeth is amazing as well. What a great performance. It’s a solid film. You need to accept its no-nonsense attitude to get into it, but otherwise it’s fine.

Warnings: It gets pretty bloody, but not overly so.

Recommend?: Not really, unless you really like the play or have a good knowledge of it already. It’s beautiful, but a little too serious for the casual viewer. I assume that’s why its reviews are kind of mixed.

Prometheus (David)

Rating: 6.5/10

Quick Summary: Two scientists discover a series of ancient drawings, all of which are very similar despite appearing hundreds of years and thousands of miles apart. They believe this might be a clue as to how the human race came to be, a path to our creators. They set out on the Prometheus to investigate a planet they believe to be the origin of these so called “engineers.” Things go awry as one might expect when they find the planet is already inhabited, but not by any “engineers.” Moreover, several crewmembers have secret motivations of their own for coming along which doesn’t really turn out well for anyone.

Some Thoughts: I feel like a lot of people don’t like Prometheus because it’s a think-y movie. It’s not really an action-packed thriller like other movies in the Alien franchise. This was the first in the franchise I’d ever seen so I didn’t really go in with those kind of expectations which I think was to my benefit. If you go in looking for answers you’re probably going to not like it, but I just sort of went to have a good time and pretty much did. Noomi Rapace as Elizabeth Shaw is really great. I really enjoyed her as the main character. There are some really good actors in this movie and I think they do a good job. I loved Idris Elba’s character a lot for example. It’s a beautiful film as well. Fassbender plays David, the resident android of the ship. It was interesting to watch him play a robot because he is, to me, a very emotive actor and this had to be more restrained. I don’t remember the movie super well which probably speaks to it just being an average sort of film. It’s not great, but it’s not as bad as some people seemed to think it was. Just go along for the ride and it can be a good popcorn flick.

Warnings: There’s one really graphic surgery scene that was hard to watch, but otherwise it’s (compared to the other Alien film on this list) not too bad. It really is more introspective than bloody. Also, maybe obviously, there are aliens in this movie.

Recommend?: If you’re into sci-fi thought-pieces, sure. Just don’t go in expecting a masterpiece.

Alien: Covenant (Walter and David, yes both)

Rating: (completely subjective) 8/10

Quick Summary: A group of forgettable, idiot crewmembers who are all inexplicably married for no reason other than a desperate bid to get you to care about them in any way (you won’t. trust me. they’re so stupid you’ll probably rooting against them eventually) are piloting a ship called the Covenant with 2000-some passengers and a lot of embryos on a colonizing mission. Along the way they intercept a strange transmission coming from another habitable planet they hadn’t noticed before which is much closer and decide to investigate. Once there things take a turn for the worst. After several deaths and the completely avoidable destruction of their ship, they run into David who’s been living alone on the planet for ten years after the Prometheus crashed there. They soon learn that they would have been better off braving the planet and waiting for rescue alone.

Some Thoughts: Listen I went into this movie completely expecting it to be horrible. This really was the one that started it all, where I decided I’d watch all of them. I wasn’t going to watch it because it looked ridiculous, but then it was available to rent and I was curious. In all honesty, I really only went in to see with my own eyes how and why the actual hell Fassbender was playing two characters which at some point kiss, so that was part of it. Ultimately I ended up really liking it. Now mind you, this is not a good movie. It’s not. The cast is forgettable and stupid to the point where you just want them to die already and get it over with. The only person I even slightly cared about was Daniels, the main crewmember character you follow. People die without any pomp and the movie is riddled with clichés. That said, it is a lot more like what I expect an Alien movie usually is. There’s a lot more fighting of aliens and a lot more blood. So what’s with the rating? Really it’s completely subjective, but if you know me and watch this movie you’ll probably understand. Let’s just say I have a very specific type of character I tend to like and this movie delivers.

Fassbender carries this gotdamn movie on his back half the time and somehow pulls off the ridiculous scenario of him being the two different robots. The interactions between Walter and David really were some of the more interesting parts of the film for me, completely ridiculous as they are (“I’ll do the fingering”). If you can just suspend your disbelief and go with it I insist that it can be a good time. My favor of the movie really comes from my opinion of David and I think that’s what will make or break the movie for you. It was a ballsy choice of protagonist, and when you realize that I think the forgettable main crew is a little more justifiable. Big kudos for the ending as well, at least from me. It ended exactly the way I wanted it to, and I ended up being invested in who I needed to be invested in. It’s a stupid movie, but I do think you can have fun watching it if you’re in it for the right stuff (namely the fassbots).

(Also, people are not happy about the fuck-million more Alien movies in the works but hear me out…. I have a great pitch idea….what if with every new movie we just double the number of Fassbenders…… so there’s four and then eight and then sixteen all the way until we just have infinite Fassbenders….. listen this is a great plan Mr. Scott please hire me as script consultant from now on)

Warnings: This is a lot more of a horror movie than Prometheus. It’s bloody and violent, and yes there are more aliens. Also it is really stupid. Also warnings for that sweet, sweet ‘bot-on-‘bot action ;)

Recommend?: I mean….not really. Again my opinion is so subjective here that it’s worth a grain of salt. If you do, you need to watch Prometheus first because you need to form an opinion of David.

Hunger (Bobby Sands)

Rating: 5/10

Quick Summary: Without me sitting here for like a half hour looking up a lot of proper names and dates (which I’ve already done once when I was watching the damn thing), this a movie about a hunger strike led by a man named Bobby Sands. It takes place in a prison in Northern Ireland. A group of people called the Republicans who are fighting against being part of Britain and want one united Ireland are being arrested for political acts and are protesting in any way they can. This begins with bathing and clothing strikes, and eventually leads to a hunger strike when this accomplishes nothing.

Some Thoughts: So this is a critically-acclaimed movie and I know people really like it. I guess I can see why but compared to McQueen’s other films I didn’t think it was super impressive. It’s his first project with Fassbender and in a lot of ways it feels like an early-career film. It has a lot of pacing issues. I read reviews saying it’s two movies in one and it really is. As an American (and therefore a dumbass when it comes to conflicts in other countries because our history classes here are Shit) it was sort of a confusing movie to watch just because I didn’t really have any background knowledge about what was happening. I was doing a lot of googling throughout to catch myself up with the conflict and acronyms etc. It’d definitely strike more of a chord with someone who knew about it beforehand. It is a prison movie and it’s difficult to watch because of that. There’s a lot of mistreatment of prisoners and just kind of gross stuff in general. I was whining at one point about the hunger strike not starting until like…20 minutes before the movie ends but I see now why it didn’t because you’re basically just watching Fassbender starve to death from that point on and it’s Not Fun. There are impressive parts of it. There’s a long take of a conversation between Bobby and a priest where he explains his idea of starting a hunger strikes that is, I shit you know, seventeen fucking minutes long. It’s crazy. There are other long takes in the film but they’re not always used super effectively. This can cause the movie to drag at times. The use of sound in the movie is also really amazing. It’s very quiet usually, but picks its loud moments and picks them well. Overall I didn’t get much out of watching it, but that’s just me. I didn’t think it was worth the difficult watch.

Warnings: It’s unrated but I bet it would be R or even NC-17 if it was. Lots of disturbing shots of violence against prisoners and behaviors of the prisoners themselves tbh. There’s nudity as well, but it’s used as humiliation mostly. As usual, McQueen’s style of filmmaking is unflinching and watching someone starve to death isn’t fun.

Recommend?: Not really. McQueen has better films you could watch. Unless you’re personally interested in the conflict at hand, I’d skip it.

Frank (Frank)

Rating: 10/10

Quick Summary: An untalented aspiring musician named Jon suddenly stumbles across the opportunity of a lifetime to play in actual band when they find themselves out a keyboard player the day before a performance. Jon lends them a hand and is accepted into the group in spite of some friction with most of the members. They invite him back on what ends up being year-long trip into the woods to write a new album. While living with the band, the Soronprfbs, Jon gets to know the members better, as well as their many quirks. Notably, there is Don, the manager who seems level-headed if somewhat depressed, Clara, who doesn’t take Jon’s being there very well, and Frank, the apparent leader of the band. Jon takes a special interest in Frank who appears to be the heart and soul of the group. In spite of wearing a giant fake head at all times, he’s very friendly, encouraging, and strangely inspiring. As they work to write their album, Jon begins to record and post their progress on social media, gaining them a new following of people amused by their bizarre antics. This new popularity ends up landing them a bigger gig than they’ve ever had before, but comes at the cost of risking the band’s identity and solidarity.

Some Thoughts: Frank is an amazing movie. If someone wasn’t interested in Jane Eyre but wanted a Fassbender rec, I would 100% give this one. I love this movie to pieces and I’m so glad I watched it because I was initially on the fence with it. In fact, I liked it so much I watched it twice within my rental period, and have now purchased it. If you’re looking for something close to a comedy on this list, this is it. I kind of describe it as if Wes Anderson directed Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, threw in a strong lesson about mental illness, and bumped up the rating a bit. This movie is hilarious and wonderful and poignant. The message is a really good one and one I don’t think we hear a lot. It’s a good commentary on the relationship between art and mental illness, and it’s done respectfully for the most part. Fassbender as Frank is kind of incredible. You don’t see his face for the majority of the film, but he still gives an amazing performance. I think it shows how talented he is as an actor that he pulls this part off so well. You’re intrigued as much as Jon is by him, or at least I was. The humor is a little out there and some of the themes may be off-putting, but I really do think this is one to see. Maggie Gyllenhaal as Clara is fantastic as well. It’s a difficult part but she pulls it off so wonderfully. Domhnall Gleeson as Jon gives a decent grounding point of view character as well. It’s funny and touching and goddammit maybe someday I’ll watch one of these movies without crying but that ending hit me right in the heart.

Warnings: Themes of self-harm and mental illness are present. They’re not played as a joke, but they’re there.

Recommend?: Yes please watch this movie I beg of you it deserves all the praise

Fish Tank (Connor)

Rating: 5/10

Quick Summary: The movie is a coming-of-age story of sorts for the protagonist Mia. Mia has a difficult home life with a neglectful and often abusive mother as well as a penchant for causing trouble. Having been kicked out of school she is directionless which only furthers her spiral downward. Her only true passion is dancing, but she prefers to do this privately. One day she meets her mother’s latest fling, Connor. Unlike the others, however, Connor seems there to stay. Mia begins to interact with Connor and the two form a relationship. Connor is kind to both her and her younger sister, treating them with respect and parental affection they do not receive otherwise. Connor encourages Mia’s hobby and leads her to begin searching for a career in dancing, helping to turn her life around. Things take a turn when Mia and Connor overstep a boundary in their relationship and this leads to Mia discovering that Connor was not what she thought he was.

Some Thoughts: I’m very…ambivalent about this movie, so I don’t probably have a lot interesting to say about it. It seems to me that Fish Tank is a part of a very particular genre of movie about a specific part of the British lower class, making it difficult to relate to for someone who hasn’t experienced that way of life. I watched another movie called Beautiful Thing a long time ago that was part of this genre as well, and that’s what Fish Tank reminded me of more than anything else. It seems to be characterized by poor, crowded living conditions and abusive family dynamics more than anything else. The characters struggle to get by and are generally mean-spirited to everyone they encounter automatically. It can make for a bitter watching experience, even if it is realistic. Mia is a somewhat believable teenager. Since this is a British movie about hip-hop dancing however and the actress playing Mia has…little to no actual dancing skill, any parts of the movie that have to do with this dancing can be embarrassing to watch. You really have to accept that it’s stupid and move past it to watch the thing.

The relationship between Mia and Connor is…troubling which I’m sure it’s supposed to be but it’s never resolved. Some of the scenes in the movie are disturbing as some in Hunger. One of my biggest issues with the movie was there really seemed to be a conversation missing. The end of the film felt like it was lacking a crucial interaction between the two and it made the ending fall pretty flat, at least for me. I know people like this movie and it’s award-winning but I couldn’t relate to it in any meaningful way. It left me feeling conflicted more than anything else. I have no strong or final opinion on this movie. I do respect that it had a female director, but I feel as though I very clearly wasn’t its intended audience, so its impact on me was minor at best and non-existent at worst. There are some nice cheesecake shots in it of Fassbender I guess. I think it still wins for best ass shot afdjks;lj

Warnings: Some disturbing character behavior, especially from Mia. Abusive family dynamics and physical child abuse are also present. Also statutory r*pe. Also some really embarrassing excuses for hip-hop dancing and general cultural appropriation shit that comes from a British movie about hip-hop.

Recommend?: You can try it, but I wouldn’t advocate for it. There are better artsy films to watch unless you’re actually in the target demographic and think you might like this sort of movie.

Inglourious Basterds (Lt. Archie Hicox)

Rating: 7/10

Quick Summary: When she was young, Shosanna’s family was murdered by Nazis hunting down Jewish families who had escaped to France. Now, as a young woman, she finds herself with the opportunity to get revenge. Meanwhile, Lt. Aldo Raine has formed a group of rogue Nazi-hunters called the Basterds, infamous throughout Germany for their lack of restraint and ability to avoid capture. His team is hired by the Allies to help with a plot to hopefully take out all the big political figures in the Nazi party, including Hitler himself, in one fell swoop. It just so happens these two plans are meant to take place in the same place, on the same night.

Some Thoughts: This is the first Tarantino movie I’ve ever seen and I do think it was good for me to at least see one. I was glad to see the movie itself too, actually. It was one on here I just needed to watch outside of this thing. I enjoyed it for all it reveled (as expected) in gore occasionally. I really loved Shosanna. Mélanie Laurent did an excellent job with her and she was easily the best part of the film for me, though I did enjoy Brad Pitt’s shenanigans as Aldo. Fassbender has kind of a bit part in this one which was a little different, since he tends to steal the spotlight otherwise. It really wasn’t my favorite performance of his. It was a little unfocused, though that might be because his character is just a plot device. Kind of a shame but in true X-Men fashion all he did was show-up, fuck things up, and then make his exit. Ah well. It’s well-shot and a good time, if a little long. The blood was there, but not excessive. Maybe a good choice if you, like me, wanted to see one of these movies, but were a little nervous about the violence.

Warnings: Typical Tarantino violence, I presume. Really, it’s just a few focused shots of it, but there is scalping in this movie, as well as some mutilation and gunshot wounds. I whipped my hand up to cover the screen more the once throughout and I’m pretty decent with blood.

Recommend?: Sure. It’s a pretty solid film and last time I checked it’s free on Netflix.

Centurion (Quintus Dias)

Rating: 6.5/10

Quick Summary: In the something-or-other A.D. the Romans are up somewhere near Britain trying to expand the empire, as one does, but are having trouble with the native peoples of those lands called the Picts. The Picts keep decimating their armies, as they do with Quintus Dias’s men. The Picts take him in rather than killing him because he speaks their language, allowing him to escape and meet up with another regiment. Together, they try again to attack the Picts and again are defeated handily. This time the Picts take their general of sorts. Dias and a small group of men are the only ones to survive and attempt to rescue him, but ultimately fail. Afterwards they begin their attempt to escape to safety, all the while being hunted by the Picts.

Some Thoughts: So I fully expected to hate this movie. When I saw this was the other one on Netflix I was Not Happy, but? It kind of surprised me. I think really it did a couple small things well and that turned my favor of it. It really isn’t that great of a movie, with a lot of narration and not a ton to say, but it’s certainly not offensive. It turned into a survival movie rather than a war movie which I greatly preferred. They also weren’t super over the top with the romantic subplot which was….SHOCKING. Usually, in my experience with the Fassathon, if there can be a sex scene there Will Be A Sex Scene, but not here. They meet a cool witch lady along the way who takes to Quintus, but never is it obnoxious, nor does it waste time with it. It was a breath of fresh air tbh…. I’m probably patting this movie on the back for little things too much, but I really do think it could have been a lot worse. It’s fine. I don’t really know who the target audience was supposed to be but it might be good for a night when you’re bored and can’t think of anything else to watch. You get to watch Fassbender run valiantly and stupidly shirtless through the snow if nothing else.

Warnings: It can get bloody, but not overly so. Also mentions of past sexual assault, but nothing shown.

Recommend?: Eh…like I said. Maybe for the night you’re flipping around and there’s nothing on. Decent popcorn flick, probably not worth spending money on.

Trespass Against Us (Chad Cutler)

Rating: 3/10

Quick Summary: Nothing I could write will make this movie’s plot make any damn sense but I’ll try anyway. Basically there’s this family called the Cutlers who are….Irish tent-people and also a weird kind of mob family with a patriarch named Colby. They live in this little trailer park circle and commit crimes to get by. The plot basically revolves around Fassbender’s character Chad Cutler trying to get out from under Colby’s thumb in order to give his wife and two children a better life. Unfortunately, it seems again and again that he’s already dug his grave and there’s nothing to do but lie in it.

Some Thoughts: So this is a weird movie. The whole conceit is weird and another one that you just kind of have to go with to be able to watch it. Its problem is that it doesn’t really have an arc or a narrative that goes anywhere. If it really had wanted to do something it would have needed to allow Chad to make any progress in his attempts to get away. The dialogue is full of slang and really difficult to understand at times. The whole dynamic of the family is sort of confusing and it’s never explained, just thrust upon you immediately. There are some good interactions, notably between Colby and Chad. The parental relationship between Chad and his son is interesting too, but it really just doesn’t go anywhere with itself. I got a little caught up in the emotionality of it watching it, but looking back I can see how flawed it is. I really don’t see what the director was getting at. Also the religious overtones are strange and didn’t do a whole lot. Just kind of unimpressive if still nice to look at sometimes.

Warnings: Animal death. A lot, actually, and often purposeful. Disturbing behavior, especially one scene where a man is stripped and humiliated. It was surprising and difficult to watch.

Recommend?: Hard pass. Skip it.

300 (Stelios)

Rating: 4/10

Quick Summary: Gerard Butler leads a group of 300 dudes against a gigantic, vaguely racist depiction of the Persian army.

Some Thoughts: I have nothing original to say about this movie, I’m sure. I was……not super happy to find it on here honestly, so I did my best to just enjoy it by making fun of it. Most people know what 300 is like. It’s got some interesting visuals, but it’s definitely one that looks pretty and does as little as possible. Mostly it’s a male power fantasy interwoven with quite a bit of racism, particularly in the portrayal of the Persians. It’s saturated with slow-mo shots and rousing speeches that aren’t really that important to anything. It’s a good one to watch on a bad movie night probably if you don’t mind some of the gore. This was Fassbender’s first theatrical appearance if I’m correct and he’s fine. I guess one plus-side of this movie is that everyone’s practically naked the whole time and super buff so that can be fun to ogle if nothing else. It is what it is.

Warnings: Body horror, lots of blood, and war stuff. Tiddies? Racism? Scottish yelling?

Recommend?: It’s your life buddy. It’s probably one to see once so you can rag on it in good conscience.

Steve Jobs (Steve Jobs)

Rating: 9/10

Quick Summary: A movie shot in three parts showing a dramatized version of the events before the release of three of Jobs’s products, focusing in on his relationship with his coworkers as well as past lover and daughter.

Some Thoughts: This is an excellent movie. It’s another one I’d readily recommend to anyone. The scale of the script is unheard of, meaning it’s super dialogue-heavy but you don’t notice at all. It’s completely absorbing. The performances are top-notch all around. This is another one of Fassbender’s best performances. He sinks into the role completely and does a phenomenal job. Kate Winslet is equally wonderful and balances Fassbender’s Jobs well. I really knew nothing about Jobs before watching this movie and I don’t know how much is true and how much is dramatized but I think that shows that even someone who knows nothing can enjoy it and find it interesting. The politics of it all were particularly wild to bear witness to. It’s a great character piece and it deserved the nominations it got in my opinion. I really liked Jobs’s relationship with his daughter as well. I don’t know how they managed to make a movie full of mostly talking so exciting but they did. I also think they did a great job of not idolizing Jobs at all, nor vilifying him. They walked a fine line and wrote him so he seemed truly human rather than a historical figure. That’s hard to do but they nailed it. Once again, I have little bad to say. If you’re not interested in Jane Eyre, Shame, or Frank here’s another good option for you.

Warnings: The IMDb parental advisory page said something about there being some sex/intimacy stuff but I never saw anything which makes me Highly Suspicious

Recommend?: Yes! Give it a chance!

(cont. in pt. 2 / pt. 3)

#fassathon #shut up alice #holy shit an actual post?#that's never happened before #listen i know this is long as shit #and no one's going to actually read this #but i spent a long-ass time on this #and i wanted to actually put it up for posterity #really i'm just proud of how hard i dragged the counselor #i'm sure there are grammatical errors in here but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#i had to wrap this thing up somehow #it's 1000% self-indulgent but....i don't Care #if i had anywhere more appropriate to post this i would but....#where tf else am supposed to put this crap

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