#Feels good to get off my chest

[bagelbucket]

bcs kim is the alpha to jimmys omega <33

#sorry for this . forever #bcs #bagel fan talk #ive been taking ab it for days I just had to say it finally #Feels good to get off my chest #better call saul #omegaverse tw

[livebloggingmydescentintomadness]

i'm not trying to start anything, but i just saw a post criticizing misha collins for not choosing to quit spn when the network was homophobic and he was "profiting from homophobia" and i just think it's kind of... wild? that young people think that a person could just. decide to not work for a prejudiced corporation when they have a family to provide for?

i don't know, i don't even really want to debate or go into it more, but it's just kind of surreal to see opinions from people who weren't there in 2013 when misha collins was literally the only person willing to support not just destiel shippers but actual queer and trans and ace fans. i have no doubt that he saved lives through the care he showed to vulnerable young people who desperately needed to see someone give a damn about them. he's significantly flawed in many ways, but he will always be a saint in my eyes for how much he cared.

like i just don't think that people accustomed to this modern era where hardly anyone blinks over two men kissing on tv can understand what it was like when we were mocked and silenced, when we weren't allowed to breathe the word 'destiel' without getting booed, and misha was the only damn person who spoke up for us. the only one. who was probably risking his job in saying the things he did.

things have changed. that's wonderful. don't judge people surviving previous eras by the standards of today.

#i'm just. i'm kind of bewildered #misha doesn't get to call himself an ally because he kept working for the homophobic network do you fucking hear yourself #tell me what network WASN'T homophobic in 2012 please tell me #he was not some super wealthy actor who could pick and choose who he worked for however he liked #he had kids to feed #good lord #wank for ts #spn #feel free to ignore this i just had to get it off my chest

[cak3o]

My sin I must confess….sometimes whether or not I give elecman his unicorn horn or not…..is entirely dependent on what would suit the composition better

#cak3otalks #feels good to get that off my chest…. #this is /j btw jkkdjsnksdnksdn #I’m just being silly #I do actually do this though

[softerhaze]

idk if it was the venus retrograde or what, but july 2023 was quite literally the worst month i've ever experienced in my life like.....every single day? awful? worse than the last? it's more likely than u think

#u know sometimes you'll experience something bad in the moment and look back later like lol that was fine actually! #not july :) she was actually really bad :) #tmi but if u wanna know why i was gone lol #my partner of 6 years cheated on me in early may. on her birthday. at her party that i planned. with her coworker. and i saw it #on top of just being like. completely devastated? i was just so embarrassed? i hardly told anyone because it made me feel like #just SO worthless. and then i was embarrassed about feeling worthless and it was a whole thing #anyway they started dating in july and it was really tough for me #it was like every day i'd wake up and have to like grieve? and come to terms with reality? and accept that a lot of my future plans #were no longer going to happen - at least with her :/ it's a really tough thing to grapple with #esp since it felt like she wasn't nearly as sad as i was - which unfortunately makes sense but still sucks #ANYWAY im doing a lot better now lol i started telling people in my life and letting them be there for me and it's helped so much #it's still hard sometimes but i know now that i'm gonna be fine eventually #this is so dumb to post on my sims blog but it feels good to get it off my chest so SUE ME I GUESS

[rainywithachanceofstars]

#buddy daddies #kazuki kurusu #miri unasaka #buddy daddies 1x10 #for the better right? #just had to get this off my chest #as a child who prized access to my beloved people and routines and familiar places more than anything #i would have been absolutely DEVASTATED to find out that not only could I suddenly not go back to the place I had been living #but I would never see my parental figures who had been raising me for almost a year again #and not only that but they LIED TO MIRI about it being a SLEEPOVER to get her to go! #yeah four-year-olds wouldn't necessarily understand everything that makes that situation necessary #but they deserve to know in the larger sense that they're leaving so they have a chance to say goodbye #considering that Miri has already been sent away and rejected by one parent and that we've seen her abandonment issues before #I hate that they chose to spare the feelings of the adults by concealing the truth from Miri #it WON'T be 'easier on her' to hear that her papas told her she would have a sleepover and they will never come to get her #and she will never see her room or her clothes or eat Kazuki's cooking or play games with Rei again #it's not even a clean break! Misaki said she was going to keep Miri at the same daycare! #in worrying about Miri's safety and avoiding public meltdowns the adults are hurting her ability to trust in them #it never feels good to be manipulated like that no matter what the reason #but enough about me projecting #in which I babble to the world #memes

[kurtiplier]

LOKI SEASON 2 FINALE SPOILER WARNING

hey. hey wait a second. in mobius' life on the timeline as don, he had a wife. and she's said to be long gone. don also kept bringing up the fact he's single. he's probably lonely. not that he doesn't love and care about his sons, he does, but I think they remind him of his wife and their life together as well, and his kids are young and he doesn't want them to see their dad struggling. maybe it happened fairly recently. don, in fact, seems incomplete and a little discontent still. he enjoys jetskis though. fond memories? a distraction?

and now mobius doesn't have loki around anymore either. he's also long gone. mobius reads his own file...don's file, and then he goes and looks at don's life on the timeline and realizes he had two kids (who are interestingly into fire and snakes), had a wife at one point, and is a jetski salesman. but at the same time...it's not exactly him.

and our mobius doesn't even have any of that. and he can't, and wouldn't take that away from don to live that life himself. and from what we know from a bit of mobius' backstory, he hasn't always had an easy time making hard decisions, and he has a lot of empathy. he's also like, the resident loki expert of the tva. he's fascinated with him. maybe there's a reason. a memory slipping through, like the jetskis. having loki around made the tva feel more like home to mobius. now without him...why would he stay?

I don't think it's impossible that a variant of loki, whether she looked just like the loki we all know or not (doesn't matter being the genderfluid, likely all-pronouns using god that they are), that loki was mobius' wife.

in my opinion, they took a queer love story, and put it through a seemingly hetero lens that the casual audience, and homophobic viewers especially, wouldn't be able to pick up on. I think it was the only way the writers came up with to get a canon confirmation of lokius into the show.

maybe I'm wrong, but that's just my two cents. I just can't imagine they dropped all those clues and symbolism and were vague about things for no reason. well...homophobia and censorship reasons, they had enough issues when they confirmed mcu loki's bisexuality in season 1, but I'll be damned if canon lokius didn't genuinely matter to anyone in that writing room. everything that was written there felt deliberate. it's sad that it has to be queer-coded in a time where so many shows are able to be explicitly queer, but disney/marvel has historically always struggled with showing that, so I can't say I'm very surprised.

I know in my heart that lokius is canon because of that final scene. I just hope that some way, somehow, mobius finds loki again, or at least finds purpose again. he doesn't deserve to be alone, just like loki doesn't. that's all I want to see. that can't be the end. I just want them to be okay. :(

#yeah I've been sobbing about this #nice to get it into words and off my chest #lokius #loki #loki spoilers #mobius #mobius m mobius #owen wilson #tom hiddleston #loki laufeyson #loki season 2 #loki series #marvel #mcu #they are so to be loved is to be changed :( #I feel UNWELL #reminded me of the good omens S2 ending too

[daresplaining]

opinions on the red fist saga? :0

Resoundingly negative, unfortunately. I actually only just read it, because I was having a rough time with it while the issues were coming out and so decided to put it off until I was in a better headspace for it (or until I saw a preview for an issue that excited me and gave me the motivation to catch up, which is what happened with next week's anthology issue).

As I said, I disliked this story very much, so if you aren't interested in hearing me rant (perfectly fine! I wouldn't blame you!), read no further. I really hope you liked it. I really don't want to get you down if you did. This whole run was just the epitome of Not For Me.

Ahem.

The "Red Fist Saga" is, in my opinion, a flimsy "Shadowland" knock-off, centered around the abrasive, moralizing religious zealot who has been inhabiting Matt Murdock's body for the past few years. Elektra Natchios, an incredibly complex character whom I love dearly, had her backstory savaged to remove its autonomy and complexity (that's a rant for another post...) and exists in this story as an accessory to this Matt look-alike and as a handy target of his moralizing (at one point he comes to the revelation that this recent journey she has been on has been worthwhile because it was all about God saving her from her wicked ways!!, at which point I may have blacked out from rage for a few seconds). Matt and Elektra GET MARRIED, and the implications of this massive shift in their relationship are not explored at all. And phew...the less said about Sam Chung's single scene, the better. As was true throughout Zdarsky's entire run, Matt speaks and thinks in this story like he is reading a prepared speech at all times, making grand-yet-hollow pronouncements about the nature of good and evil. He doesn't sound like a real person, but rather like a robot that has been fed a steady diet of religious texts, along with a few surface-level social/systemic reform concepts. His personality consists of being alternately sad, angry, and making lofty proclamations about "fighting evil in the service of God's plan", and I just have no emotional investment in that. I'm not Catholic (and neither, until recently, was Matt Murdock, making this whole thing profoundly weird).

There were some cool elements to this story. I'm a huge Stick fan and I'm thrilled that he is finally back from the dead after all these years. I love Stilt-Man. I love Speed Demon (for some real Speed Demon goodness, go read Superior Foes of Spider-Man, one of my favorite comics of all time). Foggy had a few good panels. I got to read Milla's name; always a treat. Kirsten didn't actually die. Mike was...mentioned (I've already griped about his death; I won't do it again here). The twist that Foggy and Stick were actually already dead was effective and very cool and I didn't see it coming at all, so I will give full credit for that. And I'm someone who genuinely does enjoy Hand shenanigans. I love that stuff when it's done well. But the degree to which I could not stand this new Matt and did not care what happened to him or what he was doing, plus the fact that I had seen all of these plot points executed already, and better, by previous Daredevil teams, meant that this story was just a protracted slog through painful writing, past scene after scene that could have been so much better in the hands of a different creative team or centered around a version of Matt Murdock who was actually a compelling protagonist.

#Thank you for asking! I hope this isn't...too terrible an answer. #I hate being negative like this but it also feels good to get this off my chest because this run was a miserable experience for me. #Daredevil vol. 7 #Daredevil #Matt Murdock #Elektra Natchios #The Hand #Asks #Commentary

[suenitos]

At the end of the day the world is on fire and I’m gonna be here till I burn down

at the end of the day FUCK QUACKITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#whew finally feels good to get that off my chest #anon.txt #ask.txt

[bang-bang-gang]

a question to start off the new year: which wrestler is your fave?

#asking because yknow. the answer to this question changes! sometimes! #not for me my answer is still wheeler yuta the tunnel vision is bad #i dont care how you answer this. reply or rb and put it in the tags or plain old DM or maybe go outside to yell the answer at a bird #depending on the bird i will probably not hear it if you choose the last option #but i bet it will still feel good for you to get it off your chest

[jeanboyjean]

hi team... i have something to confess and im a little embarrassed but i've just gotta come out and say it... sometimes when i see jean's name i pronounce it as gene in my head and i have to correct myself LMAO sick and twisted! how can i call myself a jean girl :(

#god that feels good to get off my chest #it's shocking i know #first time i met him i pronounced his name wrong and he wouldn't let it go #still holds it against me sometimes when we bicker it's his one true ammo against me #𖡎 . chlo chats shit

[magicicephoenix]

i need to go pound joey drew into a pulp RIGHT NOW

#diction dump #joey drew #batim #HIS SPEECH AT TBE END OF BATDR MAKES ME JDLABRLELWL #SCREAMINF AT TVE SCREEN #JUST SHUT!! UPP!!! #okay i’m normal now. i hate him so much #he praises audrey about being his first creation of life when the ink demon is literally RIGHT THERE. #like. do you want to be good or not?? of course bendy kills you! you’re being an asshole! you suck!! #oh my godd i need to fling him around a room ragdoll style. crush him into smithereens. rrrgrghh #he comes across so disingenuous.. like. i don’t care if audrey’s your precious shining moonlight. she’s also The One Who Came Out Right. #meanwhile The One Who Came Out Wrong is SEETHING with hatred for you! do you not see the consequences of your words?! #“i know you’re in there” like the ink demon isn’t sentient?? like audrey’s just stuck someWHERE not with someONE? #and bendy’s so so angry. of course he is! his creator (well. a copy of him) is saying TO HIS FACE that he’s just a monster. a mistake. #that he’s NOTHING. and most infuriatingly that this stupid OTHER who had the privilege of coming out right is EVERYTHING! #why does she get that? why did she get so lucky? where was all this compassion when it was him? why did he never feel this love? #and so he lashes out. obviously. all he’s ever been is a monster because all he’s ever been TAUGHT is how to be a monster #and who taught him that? who forced him into that? that’s right. the biggest monster around. #so i’m sorry if i don’t find your little speech to be heartfelt joey. you’re a long way away from saying anything truly GOOD. #phew. okay. needed to get that off my chest.

[brynalyn]

Safety psa warning for Floraverse

Just wanted to put this out there and finally get it off my chest. In 2021 I was doxxed, as well as my family, and at least one other person was doxxed at the time by the same person. and I was also in the floraverse discord servers at this time. The person who doxxed me/my family/others (they did not hide that they had done this) became active in the discord within the same month. I reached out to glip and, although they reached out to the person and confirmed it, they didn’t take any action, and didn’t even bother to tell anyone publicly in the server that they were at risk of also being doxxed on kiwifarms (this person targeted me partially because I was a fan of floraverse and like I said this individual had doxxed another person around the same time as me and potentially more.) after I pushed to get this person kicked out as I ultimately felt extremely unsafe and that they could dox others, Glip told me I was making them uncomfortable by pushing that, and that I was being rude and inconsiderate and even hurtful for suggesting and pushing for it. Then I also got a message from pengo who told me I was basically in the wrong for bringing up this person and their actions, and how inconsiderate it was of me to tell Glip how uncomfortable and unsafe my doxxer being in the servers made me feel, and guilt tripped me about coming forward without making sure Glip was in a good headspace beforehand, even though I had already at that point breached the subject many times in several weeks, and repeatedly got put off as Glip didn’t want to take any actions and got more short with me as I kept trying to have discussion about removing them for my and others safety. This started to shatter my trust in both Glip and pengo, and my doxxer being in the servers led to me having severe mental breakdowns and paranoid spirals as i realized that was not in fact a place I could be safe as no action was taken and I was talked down to for suggesting an action should be taken. I finally left the servers sometime earlier this year, after continually witnessing huge amounts of bullying in the servers throughout my time and terrible treatment of others similar to what I went through.

It was incredibly painful and traumatizing how my genuine concern for my own and others safety was made out to be hurtful and selfish by Glip and pengo. Pengo in particular often was aggressive and accusatory towards me and others, he lectured and belittled people in private and in public while making assumptions about others and justifying his bullying based on his assumptions and projections (this happened to me often and I also witnessed this happen to others repeatedly.) i didn’t feel safe speaking up because dogpiling was common in the spaces, and I had already repeatedly been shut down and guilt tripped for speaking even privately about the person who doxxed me. I didn’t feel comfortable speaking honestly in the server for fear of being punished. I often felt trapped, and had to ‘fawn’ and agree and accept the crappy treatment, and I continued to get more uncomfortable in general until I finally left. I wanted to put my experience out there so that others can potentially be informed that they may not be safe in the server like how I wasn’t and that their valid issues may be twisted and used against them to guilt trip and bully them like mine were.

Tbh I should have left sooner but I had nostalgic attachment to floraverse and I also had friendships with kind people in the servers and it was painful to have growing cognitive dissonance where I had good interactions with friendly people but then get pinged with huge condescending uncalled for lists of all the small ways I had bugged them even if those things were years old, minor interactions that had long been resolved the same day, while also leaving out any mention of my doxxer or considering how that could have been affecting me too, basically doing bad faith reading of others’ characters constantly to justify attacking and berating others for insignificant or bizarre reasons. fear of this happening and of being publicly humiliated over and over became a very huge source of trauma and stress for me and everytime I was torn down it basically enforced the trauma and hurt me more. Overall while I had some good experiences and even friends, I began to become socially fearful, and get anxiety attacks when I got discord pings because of the fear I would get yet another cruel lecture at any time from pengo or that I would bear witness to yet another person getting bullied and dogpiled and I would feel sick to my stomach while others in the server pretended they didn’t see it or joined the bullying. It was extremely horrible for my mental health and I don’t regret leaving as I have healed a lot and had much healthier interactions with others outside of the servers in basically every sense since then. It’s been a healing process as I learn that I shouldn’t have to tread on eggshells constantly to be treated humanely, I shouldn’t get bullied for making simple human mistakes, and im gaining trust in others that they won’t belittle me for my pain and will take me seriously, and learn to trust others in general again after getting that trust smashed by people I once looked up to.

Please be careful about what you say to people in that server and guard yourself if you are in them. and I would caution against trusting the mods because of my own experiences with having my trust repeatedly broken and used.

#floraverse #glitchedpuppet #pengosolvent #I’ve been bottling this up for a while it feels good to get it off my chest #seeing others speak up about their experiences helped so much #btw if it is t clear I am no longer a fan of floraverse or in the servers #I just mainly wanted to talk about my experience and finally put it out there what I’ve gone through and how I feel #this post is not a green light to harass anyone so don’t. #pinkkecleon is the one who doxxed me btw they used to go by the name grimart #grimart #pinkkecleon #this post is a warning for others and a chance for me to be open about what I experienced and witnessed

[jimmyjrsmusoems]

my deepest darkest secret is that one time i posted a poll asking what fic i should write next and then the one that i wanted to win didn't win so i deleted the post and pretended like it never happened

#feels good to get this off my chest #fic stuff

[needylittlegirl]

i dont like the things going on right now ! ! ! !

#and by things i mean my cat acting weird #he hasnt been eating good or coming by me as much and hes been more vocal than usual #i dont usually get scared when he acts off for a day or two like hes a cat he goes through phases i know #but this time feels really really different and i dont know why #i cant tell if im just overthinking it or if it does feel different #im gonna try to find a vet that wont take my entire life savings for absolutely nothing but #im just scared #ive had a weird little ball of anxiety in my chest all day and i couldnt figure out what it was #until i watched him sniff his favorite food and just walk away #he didnt even come to see me :( #i dont wanna go to sleep what if something happens tonight #tbd

[jarognieva]

It's 10 years I did Hetalia fanart for support Ukraine. But I felt so bad after some Polish guy told me "how dare you use Hetalia for such things! REAL Ukrainians would eat you alive!" Instead of... They didn't? I remember some Ukrainians liked it but I was so absorbed by comment from this guy that I stopped to draw her. Even if MY Ukraine was more like my own OC only BASED on Himaruya's nameless character (idk how it is today, but in "my" times Ukraine didn't have her own name).

And after 10 years I think... fuck this guy! How the fuck this person knew what offends Ukrainians??? I was stupid teenager then and I feel so bad I can't tell my past self that I shouldn't care about one comment. I hope all Ukrainians who clicked "favourite" button (it was on deviantart) felt supported by my art. And I feel so sorry if anyone felt offended. But honestly I didn't get any hate (only one from that Polish guy), and one person even defended me!

I know it sounds stupid now, but Ukrainian and Belarusian artists have really done a lot to popularize their culture through Hetalia. These countries were so poorly treated by original... But these artists gave soul to these characters. They're one of the reasons I started to learn their culture and languages.

I really hope they and their families are safe now.

#personal #kind of #i had to get off this my chest after fcking 10 years of remorse okay xD #i think 10 years is enough time to came to conclusions if i did good or bad #also i feel so terrible that instead of thinking 'i wonder how ppl i spoke 10 years ago are doing now' I wonder if they're even alive #what a fucked up timeline we have to live on

[opens-up-4-nobody]

The way that the sun hits leaves and clouds. I feel like I could watch the colors change forever. If I could slow down for that long.

#i keep forgetting a have a deck now. i can go outside and sit there #im doing that now. sitting in the corner of a deck full of empty chairs. staring up at a big pine tree where the sun is striking it gold #at the top. i like how thr light hits the needles. if the sky was black it would look like its on fire #theres a tree outside my bedroom window too. in the morning. after the sunrises it catches thr light and refelcts the most perfect shade #of green. the kind of green that flutters translucent like youre looking up from the bottom of a pool. the light the light its all about #the sun. everything everything is about the sun. when i start my project I'll be focused on understanding how organisms catch the light bc #its so incredible and complicated it would make my chest swell to bursting if there wasnt an empty bleeding wound in my gut. a #metaphorical wound of course. i dunno. its just difficult bc right now my mood is inflated by hormones. not even that much i think I'm #just at what shoulf be a normal level of happiness so i can be slow for a minute. but just a minute bc i kno it won't last long #sorry i cant shut the fuck up when im like this but i dunno i just feel like i havr to document these ephemeral moments before they're gone #its just difficult when you kno the world is so full of beautiful things but 95% of the time your eyes are too clouded to see it #everyone tells me i work too much but i feel like im just staring off into space being miserable 60% of the time. ive just done so much #damage over the past few years im coming into a new lab as damaged goods. ive got an albatross around my neck in thr form of data i #collected so self destructively that the idea of having anything to do with its publication makes me hate myself. everytime someone tells #me good job on collecting so so so much data it feels like they're congratulating me for breaking something within myself. like i slit my #wrists and bled out on a lab bench and theyre saying good job and theyre excited for me and i have to grin and bear it and pretend im #excited too. but im not bc ive burned everything inside me to ash. so when im elevated enough to be distracted by the clouds and trees it #feels like healing. like seeing angels. beautiful ephemeral beams of light. i wish i could slow down enough to watch them. but now thr sun #is hitting the horizon and the sky is going gradually dark and i should go inside. bc i have many things to do in the morning. so that's #what ill do. and ill try to get more thsn 6hrs of sleep but its hard when your body is vibrating over with energy #but at least i dont feel tired in the morning. something in my head must be on fire #unrelated #hm i should maybe add a tw to this #tw self injury #but its the kind thst makes u good at ur Job. its the kind ppl reward. so they don't understand when u say its destroying ur life #but im trying to get better. i say as i gear up for an insane semester lol but i do mean it