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#Fiego
5iego · 11 months
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Collection of prompts for Fiego based off this list
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moku-youbi · 2 years
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If anyone else is over here in my kinky little corner, please feel free to give me a shortish, kink bingo esque prompt involving Five/the Handler, Diego/Klaus, Diego/Five, Klaus/Five, Lila/Diego/Five, or some other combination of the above, or if you've got another inspired pair, throw that at me? (I could be talked around to Klaus/Sparrow!Ben, considering they *clearly* fucked after the wedding...) Something set within the first 3 seasons or as a potential post-series, once the timeline is unfucked future setting.
Please don't @ me with the incest or underage comments, as the show itself doesn't care about the incest, and no one is underaged, so...¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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sublightsleeper · 2 years
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D20 tag game
tagged by @itookyoudown for this tag game. 
 I rolled a 19 and got Need A Vacation by @fivediego . This fic is so fucking good. This is like my...third?? Fourth re-read? I’m gonna re-read it again since I got it open.
I picked the word “ingenue” because it’s a stellar word and here’s what I wrote:
“People seem to think I’m some kind of ingenue.” Five wipes at the counter with more force than was strictly necessary. 
“It’s the eyelashes,” Klaus supplies helpfully, lifting a hand to gesture to his face in one long, floppy circle. “And the fuck me lips.” Five throws the rag at Klaus’ face right as the bell over the door jingles. 
It’s the guy again. The one with his order written on his napkin. Five wonders briefly if the silent Diego would think he was some kind of ingenue. Some delicate thing to be seduced. Would he be disappointed with the truth? That Five was just an asshole with sky high standards who hadn’t been on a date in three years?
Why did it matter to him?
tagging @drunktuesdays @librarian-von-sassypants @or-ng-c-ss-dy
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flowery-laser-blasts · 2 months
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"Drakken and Shego walked down the city streets after the musical. He looked at Shego, who he noticed tended to flurry her long skirt from time to time. He smirked. It had been a relief they were not the only ones dressed up for the festivities, and Shego had relished in compliments on her dress. He was lost in thought about the musical and the irony of how they were dressed." -Random Tales of Drakgo chapter 53 'Masquerade of Mistakes'.
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO @gothicthundra! I hope you like it! Funny story; I have been meaning to draw Shego and Drakken in Elphaba and Fiyero's outfit ever since I first started reading this fic... which has been almost half a-- wait... MORE THAN HALF A YEAR AGO!? Wow, long time... and guess what? I know NOTHING about Wicked except for the songs: 'The Wizard and I', 'Popular', and 'Defying Gravity'. Oh, and that Willemijn Verkaik played in it. Love the songs so much... but uhm.... @miss-doodle-jester then told me that 'Defying Gravity' isn't the END of the musical but ACT1?!?!?!? I'M SORRY???? I THOUGHT IT ENDED THERE????? So, yeah, I'm going to watch the stage play slime tutorial soon enough. :')
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darkside-teacup · 2 years
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Happy 61st birthday, to my biggest inspiration on this planet.
Thanks for everything Joe, I have no words to express how much I admire and love you 💖💖💖
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santillo1970 · 1 year
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Good Choice Ariel! Your “Piazzetta a Capri “ +”Fiego” crochet tie @radici_patrimonio1970 are ready to be delivered to #manhattan 🇺🇸 (presso Manhattan, New York) https://www.instagram.com/p/CpApKtXrSgT/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
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diario-vespertino · 1 month
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El origen del poder narco en Santa Fe
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«El narcotráfico comenzó siendo un negocio paraestatal de la dictadura argentina a partir de las relaciones tejidas desde el Segundo Cuerpo de Ejército. Eran los tiempos de Leopoldo Fortunato Galtieri, Jorge Videla y Emilio Massera, en Argentina; y García Meza y Arce Gómez, en Bolivia», escribe en la nota que hoy republicamos, el periodista y escritor Carlos Del Frade*. El jueves pasado llegaba a Rosario, el primer contingente de las Fuerzas Armadas para sumarse al comando unificado de las fuerzas federales. La estrategia de militarizar «la lucha contra el narcotráfico» es la política de este gobierno. La “guerra contra el narcotráfico” impulsada por Nixon en 1971 y llevada a varios países de latinoamericanos ha demostrado que lejos de disminuir el tráfico, el consumo o la aparición de nuevas drogas, la ha fortalecido con más violencia. Muchos países han reconocido el fracaso de las políticas prohibicionistas y el empleo de cada vez más violencia involucrando a las Fuerzas Armadas en el “combate a las drogas”. En México, las políticas de Felipe Calderón para militarizar la lucha contra el narco en 2006 ha fracasado llevando los niveles de violencia a un extremo con  cientos de miles de asesinados y carteles cada vez más armados. Algo similar ocurrió en Brasil con la movilización de los militares a la «pacificación de las favelas» o el «superencarcelamiento» para golpear al narcotráfico. Y lo que luego derivo en la complicidad militar con el tráfico. Las Fuerzas resultaron corrompidas por la afluencia del dinero fácil a cambio los carteles ampliaron su base de contactos, su logista y un mayor acceso al armamento.  El narcotráfico comenzó siendo un negocio paraestatal de la dictadura argentina a partir de las relaciones tejidas desde el Segundo Cuerpo de Ejército, con asiento en Rosario y jurisdicción sobre las provincias de Santa Fe, Chaco, Formosa, Misiones, Corrientes y Entre Ríos. Eran los tiempos de Leopoldo Fortunato Galtieri, Jorge Videla y Emilio Massera, por un lado; y los altos oficiales del ejército boliviano que luego desatarían la dictadura del 17 de julio de 1980, general Luis García Meza y coronel Luis Arce Gómez. Así se desprende de la declaración de un ex integrante del Servicio de Inteligencia del Ejército argentino realizada en Brasil en el año 2009 y que, por primera vez, es publicado en esta nota. De tal forma, los primeros envíos masivos de cocaína a través de la ruta 34 fueron la consecuencia de un acuerdo que venía estableciéndose, por lo menos, desde los tiempos del Mundial de 1978, entre funcionarios de las dictaduras de Hugo Banzer y Videla. Esta es la historia que sigue desarrollándose por estos días en las geografías de Buenos Aires, Rosario y Córdoba, entre otros centros urbanos. Y como todo gran negocio capitalista, de arriba hacia abajo y con complicidades en los diferentes nichos de corrupción de los distintos gobiernos. La memoria de los represores El 10 de diciembre de 1998, el entonces comisario principal José Rubén Lo Fiego, fue puesto a disponibilidad por la resolución 879 del gobierno provincial. Estaba imputado de 68 delitos de lesa humanidad y fue el principal torturador del Servicio de Informaciones de la Unidad Regional II, entre 1976 y 1979. El “Ciego” o “Mengele”, habló en tres ocasiones con este cronista entre setiembre y diciembre de 1997 en su despacho del área Logística, en el subsuelo de la ex Jefatura de Policía, justo en la ochava de Santa Fe y Moreno. No está arrepentido de nada y sus diálogos con los periodistas apuntan a relativizar su siniestra historia personal. Lo que sigue es un resumen de aquellos encuentros. -Vamos a ahorrarnos algunas cosas. Sé quién es usted. ¿Dónde están los cuerpos de los desaparecidos y qué hicieron con los chicos nacidos en cautiverio?– fue la pregunta que sintetizó la primera entrevista.-No sé nada de eso -contestó Lo Fiego en su despacho adornado con un poster del equipo de Central ganador de la Conmebol de 1995.-Me gustaría saber quiénes fueron los apoyos políticos y económicos que los manejaban a ustedes.-No se consiguió todo a través de la tortura. Acá mucha gente jugaba al superagente y en todos lados había un terrorista. Colaboracionismo. Hubo mucho colaboracionismo. Trate de grabar esa palabra en su memoria. Más allá de lo que usted piensa. Lo peor de todo es la conspiración de los idiotas -dice en referencia de otros oficiales de la policía. “Había una presión insoportable de parte del comando. La formación la obtuve por las mías. Ahora hay una cultura light. Acepto la tortura, pero no el robo ni la droga -admitió el 9 de diciembre de 1997, en comparación con otros policías. Tampoco soy un matasiete -agregó ese día mientras tomaba mate haciendo alusión a una palabra que surgió en la literatura nacional en “El Matadero”, el cuento de Esteban Echeverría en el que denunciaba las atrocidades de la policía rosista, “la mazorca”. Esta crónica fue publicada en nuestro libro “El Rosario de Galtieri y Feced”, del 2000 y también formó parte del primer tomo de “Ciudad blanca, crónica negra. Historia política del narcotráfico en el Gran Rosario”, publicado durante el mismo año. Lo Fiego daba a entender que él se lavaba las manos de la sangre de los torturados y que luego escribía los partes al Comando del Segundo Cuerpo de Ejército, en los días de Ramón Genaro Díaz Bessone y Leopoldo Fortunato Galtieri, sin necesidad de recurrir a algún tipo de apoyo químico. Sin embargo, algunos de sus compañeros de torturas sí necesitaban “de la blanca que venía del Comando”, tal como lo sugirió en aquel encuentro. El negocio paraestatal En forma paralela a aquellos recuerdos de Lo Fiego, Gustavo Bueno, ex oficial de la policía rosarina desde 1971 a 1975, fue convocado al Comando del Segundo Cuerpo de Ejército en 1977. Luego lo enviaron a un área de “preconflicto entre la Argentina y Chile. Hacia 1978 volvió a Rosario “para ejercer actividades de inteligencia en el Destacamento de Inteligencia 121, en el sector llamado AEI –Actividades Especiales de Inteligencia-, donde había estado desde 1975. Bueno, en medio de estas idas y vueltas, trabajó durante dos años junto al entonces coronel Oscar Pascual Guerrieri en el llamado Grupo de Operaciones Especiales (OE). Muchos años después, en el contexto del juicio por delitos de lesa humanidad, Gustavo Bueno (integrante del Servicio de Informaciones del Ejército Argentino, dependiente del segundo jefe del Destacamento de Inteligencia 121, el entonces teniente coronel Pascual Oscar Guerrieri) confesó que el alto jefe militar estaba en el negocio paraestatal del narcotráfico. Lo hizo ante el doctor Otmar Paulucci, presidente del Tribunal Oral Federal Nº 1 de Rosario, en la ciudad de Belem, estado de Pará, en la República Federativa de Brasil, el lunes 30 de noviembre de 2009. La primera mención a esta declaración apareció el domingo 13 de diciembre de 2009 en el diario “Rosario/12” a través de una nota del periodista José Maggi. Ahora, por primera vez, se publica la copia en castellano de los dichos de Bueno en la sede policial brasileña: -…Sí, Guerrieri estaba vinculado al tráfico de cocaína. Estaba vinculado a Arce Gómez y García Meza. Había una interna en la época de elección de Galtieri, que desplazó a Viola. Había plata que trajeron de los cocacoleros de Bolivia. Tenía que liberar el norte de Argentina. Otro del acuerdo era Noriega, del que se encargaron otros servicios de otros países. El organizó cosas muchas veces en mi contra. En Rosario fue en varias veces.-sostuvo Bueno quien goza de un tratamiento muy especial en Brasil, según constató el juez Paulucci. El 2 de diciembre de 2009, Bueno agregó que “en principio, Oscar Guerrieri dijo que el grupo especial tenía por objetivo combatir a los Montoneros. Que el declarante entró en conflicto con ese grupo porque no aceptó los desvíos de conducta de Guerrieri. Que el declarante desempeñaba actividades de contrainteligencia y, en ese trabajo, investigó al teniente coronel Oscar Pascual Guerrieri y a otros, por supuesto involucramiento con oficiales del ejército boliviano relacionados al tráfico. Que se quedó trabajando en el sector de Actividades Especiales de Inteligencia hasta noviembre de 1979… y que en noviembre de 1979 salió de la Argentina al entender que el coronel Guerrieri quería ejecutarlo… que en 1979 el declarante salió a pie de Rosario, dejando su arma y su credencial y vino a Brasil…”. Guerrieri se desempeñó desde el 6 de diciembre de 1976 hasta el 26 de enero de 1979 en el Destacamento de Inteligencia 121 del Comando del Segundo Cuerpo de Ejército con asiento en Rosario. Fue ascendido a teniente coronel el 31 de diciembre de 1976. Revistaba como segundo jefe, un escalón por debajo de Edgardo Alcides Juvenal Pozzi, titular del Destacamento de Inteligencia. Fue condenado por crímenes de lesa humanidad a perpetua porque quedó establecido que tenía “absoluto dominio de la puesta en marcha de los operativos, sobre las líneas concretas que debía seguir la inteligencia represiva, sobre la “evaluación” de los secuestrados y su permanencia en los centros clandestinos de detención, sobre la metodología y lugar de cautiverio y, en definitiva, sobre el destino final de las víctimas”. Era el mayor “Jorge” en la Quinta de Funes, descripta en “Recuerdo de la muerte”, de Miguel Bonasso. Junto a él, en aquellos días, estaba “Gustavo” que no era otro que Gustavo Bueno. La conexión boliviana Roberto Suárez Gómez, el llamado “Rey de la cocaína”, proveedor nada menos que de Pablo Escobar Gaviria, “acusó a la coalición de gobierno de Paz Estensoro y Banzer Suárez, además de todos los anteriores gobernantes del país desde finales de la década del setenta, de ser y haber sido cómplices del narcotráfico bajo la protección de la CIA y la anuencia del gobierno de los Estados Unidos de América, supervisada por medio de su embajada en el país”, cuenta su ex mujer, Ayda Levy, en su libro “El Rey de la Cocaína. Mi vida con Roberto Suárez Gómez y el nacimiento del primer narcoestado”. La mujer sostuvo, además, que “en el mes de febrero de 1980 viajaron a la ciudad de Buenos Aires, el ex ministro de Agricultura Marcelo Ibáñez, Klaus Altmann y un agente de la CIA, de apellido Perou, para reunirse con los miembros de la Junta Militar que gobernaba la Argentina desde 1976. Su misión era lograr el apoyo de nuestros vecinos al golpe de Estado que se gestaba en Bolivia. Los emisarios cumplieron su mandato a cabalidad. La junta de comandantes, dirigida por el general Jorge Rafael Videla, dio su total respaldo al proyecto. Las alas del tenebroso Plan Cóndor se extenderían hasta nuestro país”, expresó Ayda Levy. La señora explica que el principal argumento que desarrollaba su marido era que “al ser Bolivia un país monoproductor minero, ante la caída del precio del estaño en los mercados internacionales la coca era el único recurso estratégico renovable que le quedaba al gobierno para sacar al país del subdesarrollo y saciar el hambre del pueblo. Estaba completamente seguro de que podíamos pagar en treinta y seis meses la deuda externa del país que, por esos años ascendía a tres mil millones de dólares americanos. Finalmente, para tratar de convencerme, me dijo: “Los gringos siempre manejan un doble discurso y tienen una falsa moral. Te doy sólo dos ejemplos para comprobar la veracidad de lo que te estoy diciendo: los cigarrillos que fabrica la tabacalera Philip Morris y las armas que fabrica Smith & Wesson, que se venden sin control en los Estados Unidos, matan anualmente a más gente que la cocaína”, se puede leer en otro párrafo del libro mencionado. El testimonio de Ayda Levy y las confesiones de Lo Fiego y Gustavo Bueno dan cuenta de una serie de relaciones que venía estableciendo la dictadura de Videla con sus pares bolivianos desde antes del narcogolpe del 17 de julio de 1980. Contactos que tuvieron su mayor desarrollo alrededor de la llamada zona franca boliviana en el puerto rosarino. Los contactos de Massera y Galtieri “Los comandantes en jefe de las Armadas de la Argentina y Bolivia, almirante Eduardo Emilio Massera y vicealmirante Gutenberg Barroso Hurtado, respectivamente, presidieron en la mañana de ayer el acto de recepción en la zona franca de Bolivia, en el puerto de Rosario, del buque “Libertador Simón Bolívar”, escribió el diario “La Prensa”, el 25 de abril de 1978. Se leyó un mensaje del entonces presidente del país hermano, Hugo Banzer Suárez, donde destacaba que “es el primer barco boliviano que surca el océano, llevando en el corazón de sus tripulantes la esperanza de un pueblo que a pesar de todas las adversidades jamás renunciará al derecho de volver soberanamente al Pacífico”. Junto al almirante Massera estaba el comandante del Segundo Cuerpo de Ejército, Leopoldo Fortunato Galtieri. -América tiene un significado en el mundo de hoy, con una Europa convulsionada con el terrorismo que ya pasó por acá; donde hay un Medio Oriente también convulsionado entre grupos y grupos, en los que yo diría que nadie sabe quién es quién. Latinoamérica significa una cosa nueva. Una cosa más profunda…-filosofó Massera ante los periodistas. Por su parte, el vicealmirante boliviano Barroso Hurtado sostuvo: “Nada habría sido más significativo para mi país que recibir al buque transporte “Libertador Simón Bolívar” entrando en aguas y puerto bolivianos. Ello no pudo ser, como lo esperaba América a los casi cien años del encierro asfixiante que sufre mi patria. Pero frente a la incomprensión que todavía ensombrece el horizonte del destino continental, felizmente surge la palabra amiga, el respaldo solidario, la tierra que se brinda…”, agradeció el oficial de la armada de la dictadura de Banzer Suárez, aquella que ya comenzaba a comercializar los productos de Suárez Gómez, el “rey de la cocaína”, tal como lo expresó su mujer Ayda Levy. La zona franca de Bolivia en el puerto rosarino fue el resultado de un convenio suscripto el 4 de junio de 1969 por el que se cedieron 55 mil metros cuadrados y que tenía previsto realizar el primer embarque en febrero de 1973 consistente en 25 mil toneladas de algodón hacia Japón. Después vendrían exportaciones de azúcar a los Estados Unidos, madera a Europa y minerales. Uno de los principales impulsores de los acuerdos en torno a la utilización de la zona franca en el puerto rosarino era Waldo Cerruto Calderón de la Barca que sería luego embajador durante la narcodictadura de Luis García Meza y Luis Arce Gómez. Otro de los que fogoneaba los encuentros con los referentes rosarinos de la dictadura argentina era el entonces director general de Política Exterior de Bolivia, el embajador de Hugo Banzer, Javier Murillo de la Rocha. El 6 de julio de 1976, el vicealmirante retirado, Jorge Aníbal Desimoni, a cargo del gobierno de la provincia de Santa Fe, recibió a representantes de la dictadura de Hugo Banzer Suárez para hacer entrega formal de la zona franca del puerto rosarino. Entre ellos estaba Raúl Tejerina Barrientos, agregado militar, uno de los principales integrantes del Plan Cóndor, corresponsable del asesinato del General Juan José Torres, cometido en Buenos Aires el 2 de junio de 1976 y señalado como uno de los más hábiles cerebros del negocio paraestatal del narcotráfico, según señalan las excelentes investigaciones de Martín Sivak (“El asesinato de Juan José Torres: Banzer y el Mercosur de la muerte”) y Román Lejtman (“Narcogate”). Los negocios de Banzer con la dictadura argentina fueron continuados y profundizados durante los tiempos de la narcodictadura de García Meza. Por eso hubo reciclaje de funcionarios y, en forma paralela, la zona franca del puerto rosarino siempre apareció como excusa para desarrollarlo como cabecera de playa. Por eso la confesión del ex servicio de inteligencia del Ejército argentino, Gustavo Bueno, termina siendo la confirmación del inicio del negocio paraestatal del narcotráfico desde la región del Gran Rosario. No fue casualidad que a principios de 1979, Leopoldo Galtieri saltara al Primer Cuerpo de Ejército y luego a la presidencia en reemplazo de Roberto Eduardo Viola.Galtieri no solamente tuvo el apoyo de los grandes empresarios del sur de la provincia de Santa Fe sino también del narcoestado construido por las dictaduras de Banzer y García Meza. Quizás por eso Galtieri sostuvo, alguna vez: “En Bolivia yo decido a quién y cuándo poner en el poder y cuándo sacarlo”. Quizás por eso Pascual Guerrieri, el nexo entre ambas dictaduras, en uno de sus alegatos en los juicios de lesa humanidad llevados a cabo en Rosario, ofrecía sus servicios, su larga experiencia y preparación para combatir al narcotráfico. De allí que la confesión de Gustavo Bueno prueba que el negocio del narcotráfico es, desde su origen, paraestatal y que, como muchas actividades económicas ilegales del presente, comenzó en los tiempos del terrorismo de Estado. Desde una geografía estratégica que no por casualidad sufre las consecuencias de tanta impunidad acumulada durante años: la región del Gran Rosario. *Nota publicada en la Agencia de Noticias Pelota de Trapo Read the full article
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5iego · 1 year
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“Why don’t you—
“Can I—“
—stick around…“
There’s a faint smile on Diego’s face that has Five feeling that little flip he gets akin to those moments he’s falling between jumps. Diego’s always made him feel unsteady, it’s unnerving at times how much he actually enjoys the feeling of weightlessness.
•-•-•-•
Or 5 times Five wishes he had more time for Diego and the one time he has all the time in the world.
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mokolat · 3 years
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TUA Inktober Day 5 : Gunpoint  (HarcestWhumptober)
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sublightsleeper · 2 years
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👀 (for the fanfic writer emoji ask meme)
Fanfic Writer Ask: (Accepting)
👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please!
Ahh, nothing anyone on here is remotely interested in! For Fiego, I've got the Dirty Dancing au, the coffee shop thing, and a time loop fic in the works.
Um um um, I'm going to write that Tim/Raylan dustjacket fic? And I'm working on your birthday thing. So there's that.
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chaotic-fiktor · 3 years
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I just wanted to say that I'm friendly to all ships and shippers. And it doesn't matter if that ship is Kliego, Fiego, Klive, Luego, Fiveya, Horrance, or whatever.
Let's just stop judging and harassing people for the things they enjoy in fiction.
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cami-chats · 2 years
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Office Heartthrob
Fandom: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Pairing: Five Hargreeves/Diego Hargreeves
Warnings: None
Read on AO3 or below
1
Five Hargreeves was the most gorgeous person in the office. 
He was also a prickly asshole. 
He had a face that was so perfect it belonged on the cover of the paper, not tucked away as a byline under author. Anyone that dared to comment on his beauty or-- even worse-- tried to ask him on a date found themselves with less ego than they had before approaching him.
It's not that he was mean necessarily, because that made it sound like he made cutting remarks without provocation. It's more like he was incredibly private and didn't want for anyone to bother him about something stupid. Making mistakes in work would get someone a comment or two, but it wasn't bad enough to make anyone cry. Asking Five on a date, however, had led someone to cry. Alright it was just the once, but it was rather memorable for everyone else in the office. It was one thing to know they didn't stand a chance with someone as gorgeous as him, and it was quite another to be told all the exacting ways that Five found them lacking. After that, everyone had decided to warn new hires not to even attempt to ask him on a date. It would save the new person quite a bit of embarrassment, and it would save the rest of the office the grief of dealing with the fallout.
The problem was that, even if everyone knew how unapproachable Five was, it was difficult to keep in mind. He had a jaw everyone wanted to get their mouth on, and it wasn't just his insults that were (horrifically) intelligent, it was everything about him. He didn't have the connections to be made senior correspondent, but his articles were always good enough to have earned it. None of them had worked with a reporter that was quite as talented as he was. The joke around the office was that every story he touched turned into gold where anyone else would've made such a mess of it that the paper got sued.
Lila was of the mind that he'd loosen up if he had a good lay, but she was smart enough to say it somewhere Five had no chance of overhearing.
AJ, the newest member of the office, let his eyes stick to Five when he entered a room, and the time to warn him off was fast approaching. After all, no one saw Five on their first day and immediately walked up to him. People liked to give it time, and also give Five a chance to look at them in return; he never did, but they didn't figure that out in time to prevent themselves from doing something embarrassing.
The opportunity to give the newbie The Talk came when AJ finished his six weeks hiring probation. It was tradition to christen a new coworker's solidified position by going out for drinks. Five had come along, which was an improvement from when he first started and absolutely refused to see any of them outside of normal office hours. He got up to get a new drink and use the bathroom, and now was the chance they had to talk to AJ. 
Lila knew that, as the senior coworker, it was her job to start the conversation. "Look AJ, it's time we had a talk," she said, turning to face him with one hand wrapped around her pint, and the other on the back of the booth.
"About?" he asked innocently.
"Five Hargreeves," Cha-Cha said. "Look, we all know he's gorgeous, but if you try to ask him on a date, you're going to regret it."
"Are you seriously trying to warn me off of him because you've decided that you have first dibs?" AJ asked, raising an eyebrow.
Lila snorted. "No, dipshit, this is us trying to save you a little humiliation. Five turns everyone down. Everyone. Usually in a way that leaves you embarrassed and wishing you'd kept your eyes to yourself."
"Seriously?" AJ said, sounding unimpressed.
"It's not an exaggeration," Hazel said, but then he gestured towards the bar in a 'help yourself' sort of way. "But if you want to go and get shot down, don't let us stop you. Maybe it's another rite of passage for working in our office."
They all argued uselessly about it for a while, with even Sissy pitching in her two cents, but eventually, AJ decided that they were being ridiculous. When Five came out of the bathroom and went to the bar to get another drink, AJ squeezed out of the booth and walked over to him.
"He's going to get shot down so hard," Lila said.
"Ten bucks says his entire face goes red," Hazel said.
"I'll take that bet," Cha-Cha said, taking a sip of her drink. "He doesn't strike me as the kind that blushes very easily."
They were all unabashedly watching as AJ talked to Five. Obviously, they were too far away to hear what was being said, but at one point, AJ put a hand on Five's elbow. Sissy winced sympathetically. "This is going to be ugly," she said, and Lila nodded. Five had a personal bubble, and he enforced it. Accidentally bumping into him was one thing, but reaching out specifically to touch him? Doing that, to the man that plastered himself to the side of the elevator when it got crowded?
"We might as well start writing his eulogy," Lila said.
"Not it," Raymond said. "I can bring flowers and cry beautifully, but I ain't writing a eulogy."
"Sissy, that's your cue," Lila said absently.
"No way."
They fell silent as Five started talking and AJ closed his mouth. It was interesting-- in a mean sort of way-- to see the way he started to shrink back. When Five got going, it felt like you were pinned in place, with no chance for escape. It wasn't until Five turned resolutely back to the bar that AJ slunk over to the table.
"You didn't tell me he was married!" AJ hissed.
They all stared at him for a split second. "Married?"
"Five? Five Hargreeves? He's married?"
"Are you sure he said the word 'married'?"
"Yes, married!" AJ said. "I looked like such an asshole. How come none of you mentioned that when telling me not to do it?"
"Because he's not?" Lila said, but she wasn't sure anymore. She glanced towards Five, but there was nothing to be gleaned from his back halfway across the room.
"With how tight laced he is, I'd be surprised if he's ever been on a date," Jill said.
Another moment of silence. Married.
"Maybe he said it so you'd leave him alone," Sissy said, but she also didn't sound sure. "Did it sound like a brush off?"
"Yeah, what exactly did he say when he mentioned being married?" Lila asked. She wasn't going to admit to being a gossip, but she was the one that had worked with Five the longest. She felt like she should know the most about him, and this had certainly never come up before.
“I don't remember exactly what he said," AJ said, scooting back into his seat. "It could've been a brush off, but does he normally do that?"
They all shook their heads. Five was too direct to go the less confrontational route. When Lila had asked him out, he'd listed every single reason why he didn't think they'd ever get along and then told her that he wasn't going to sleep with her just because she was his boss-- which, at the time, had been true, though they were on the same level now-- and he wouldn't do it for anyone else, either.
"He told me he'd rather go mute than voluntarily talk to me outside of work," Hazel offered.
"He insulted my entire family," Keechie said, to back him up.
"Maybe he thought this way was less likely to get him in trouble with HR," Sissy said.
Lila nodded, because that made the most sense. She resolved to ask Five about it. He usually glared at anyone that tried to pry into his personal life, but she thought she could spin it the right way. Discretion, that’s what it was all going to be about. 
2
She got her chance to ask him about the whole 'being married' business the next morning. Her and Five were usually the first ones in the office, and today was no different. Their cubicles were in the same block, so she peeked her head over. Then she thought better of it and got to her feet and walked around to his side. Anyone else wouldn't have cared, but Five was liable to flick paperclips at her until she started 'acting like a human instead of a fucking gopher'-- his words, not hers. "Do you know if Jill showed AJ the copy room yesterday? She said she would, but you know how forgetful she is."
He didn't bother to look up from his monitor to answer. "If memory serves, the two of them left the copy room together yesterday before five."
"Cool, thanks," Lila said. She made as if she was going to leave and hesitated. It was planned, of course, but Five didn't need to know that. "You know, you didn't have to tell AJ that you were married to get him off your back. He would've accepted a simple no for an answer." She laughed. "Imagine how weird it would be if he told everyone else that you were married and you had to explain that."
Five looked up at her then, but he didn't lean back in his chair or take his hands off the keyboard. "I am married."
Lila blinked. "I know it's a common saying that someone is married to their job, but this might be taking it a little far."
"I am married to another human being," Five said with a smirk. Well, at least he found this funny instead of annoying.
"Oh. Huh. I'll just leave you to your work then," she said, and turned to go back behind the wall separating them. What the hell was he doing lying about that? And alright, there was a chance that he wasn't lying and that he was really married, but it was a small chance. Itty bitty. Miniscule, really. What were the chances that he was married and had never once mentioned it before? For that matter, when did he tell any of them anything about his life? He gave no reason why his name was a number, no matter how many times people asked. He didn't mention family of any kind-- not for birthdays, holidays, or even for casual complaining. Hell, none of them knew what religion he practiced, or if he was atheist. He had absolutely nothing to share when the topic of Christmas came up, not one way or the other.
It was easy to go about the beginning of her day while thinking about Five and whether or not he was actually married. She was sure that she was doing a lot of frowning though, and she had to force herself to stop when their coworkers started to trickle in.
3
It didn't really count as Five mentioning his spouse because Sissy was the one to bring it up, but Lila was willing to take whatever she could get since Five used to glare at anyone that dared ask him a personal question. When Sissy said, "Here are the forms you asked for. I was wondering, is there a reason you don't have a wedding ring?" and Five answered instead of telling her to fuck off, Lila counted it. Besides, more information was more information.
"I have one," he said, but that was all he offered on the topic. 
"Why don't you wear it?" she asked. Sissy was well meaning, but she wasn't the most observant person in the office. Or maybe she was like Lila and just wanted more information about this and didn't care to try and be subtle-- which was fair enough, because Five could see through most attempts like that in a flat second.
"Because it might seem like an invitation for someone to ask me about it," he said, his tone as flat as his expression.
"Oh c'mon Five, people are curious!" Sissy said, immediately giving up the game. Not that Lila had any reason to believe it was a game to anyone else in the office, but still. She'd barely gotten a chance to start before this happened. "You mentioned that you're married, but none of us know anything about them. It's not a crime to want to know more about you."
"It doesn't need to be a crime to be inappropriate," Five said, voice still flat.
Lila had to stop herself from snorting. Inappropriate? To ask about someone's spouse? Most people would be thrilled to talk about their partner. Hell, she couldn't go two days without someone telling her all about the last date they were on, or how their boyfriend made them dinner. None of their current coworkers were married, except for Five. And she still wasn't completely sure that she believed he was married. Like, no offense, but who would marry Five? Who would want to? He was a pain in the ass to deal with on a good day. Get him into bed, sure. Everyone and their mother wanted to do that. But marry? That sounded like a horror movie waiting to happen. Maybe he didn't wear a wedding ring because he'd murdered his spouse and buried their body in the basement.
"Did you have anything else that you needed here or are you wasting both my time and yours by pestering me with all these idiotic questions?"
Sissy blushed a little-- she blushed very easily-- and said, "Nope," before walking away.
4
"Excuse me, I'm looking for Five Hargreeves's desk?" someone asked.
She wasn't talking to Lila, but she still perked up. Someone was visiting Five at work? That never happened. Anything related to an article he was writing was delivered through the main desk, and it was the same if he had food delivered instead of leaving to pick it up or bringing something for lunch-- he brought lunch with him a lot more often than Lila would've thought. Thank god she'd been running something over to Jill's desk and caught this. Now she had more time to observe this mystery visitor as they both walked to that section of the floor. Having a cubicle right next to Five's really did work in her favor.
"Right over there," Keechie said.
Lila followed, but not so closely that she looked like a stalker. Not that she was sure she could look like a stalker in her own workplace while walking back to her desk.
"Hey, Five?" the visitor said, stopping near Five's desk.
A couple seconds later, Lila made it to her chair and sat down. There was a wall between them, but she leaned back so she could make out the visitor's face while they talked. Staring at Five would be far too obvious, but she was allowed to look curiously at someone new dropping by-- if questioned, she'd say that she wanted to commit the woman's face to memory, in case she dropped by again; Lila was weird enough that everyone would buy it.
"Vanya?" Lila heard his chair move as he turned to face her. "What are you doing here?"
"You were supposed to come by this morning to grab my key." A small pause. "I'm going to London, remember? You agreed to feed Mr. Pennycrumb for me, and you said you'd come by before work to grab the key."
"I forgot."
"It's okay. Here," she said, setting a paper bag on Five's desk and then fishing around in her pocket for the key. "Diego told me to get you a bagel on my way over, so."
"When were you talking to Diego?"
"I called him to see if I could give him the key, but he said he was busy."
"He is," was all Five said about it.
Lila didn't know what the hell that was supposed to mean, but Vanya just nodded like that was the response she'd expected.
"Thanks," Five said shortly, followed by the rustling of the bag. "You said once a night?"
"Yeah. I've got to get going, but thanks again for this."
Five probably nodded in response to that, but Lila couldn't see it for sure. Vanya left, and Lila had more questions than answers. Who was she? Who was this Diego that she had mentioned? Apparently, Vanya was close enough with Five to ask him to watch after her pet. Vanya wasn't the one he was married to; if they were married, then they would be living together, and he wouldn't have had the opportunity to forget to pick the key up from her earlier.
Maybe Diego was the one that Five was married to, but that was purely a guess. Nobody in the office, Lila included, knew if Five was attracted to men. They also didn't know what gender he was attracted to, if any. Before any of them had heard about him being married, there was the consideration that perhaps Five was aromantic and didn't want to be with anyone at all. There was, she had to admit, the possibility that Five was aromantic, and there was nothing but friendship in his marriage.
It was a possibility yes, but she wasn't going to discount her current, leading theory that this mystery Diego was the one he was married to. It was her only lead, so she might as well put more faith in it.
...It wasn't enough faith to mention it to anyone else, but in the privacy of her own thoughts, she was going to make sure she thought about it more. She'd keep her ears open for any mention of Diego in the future, but she wasn't going to hold her breath. Lila had worked with Five for how long and never heard any mention of this? No, this was going to take a while longer to figure out.
"Hey Five," she said, sticking her head up over the cubicle wall. "Who was that?"
"My sister," he said shortly.
"Ah, I thought she looked familiar," Lila said, then sat back down. She had missed the family resemblance at first, wanting Five's spouse to fall into her lap, but Vanya looked extremely similar to Five now that she thought about it.
5
Lila's phone rang as she was giving her article another read to make sure there weren't any glaring mistakes. She was pretty sure she had a cold coming on, so she was making weird mistakes-- like typing cous-cous instead of because. The restaurant she was reviewing didn't even have cous-cous-- because her mind felt like it had been stuffed full of cotton.
"Pitts, food critic," she answered.
A pause.
"Hello?" she tried, followed by reaching for a cough drop. She might need to call in sick tomorrow. She doubted she'd be able to taste anything properly for the next couple days.
"Sorry, I must have dialed the wrong extension," the man said.
"Mine's thirteen," she responded.
"I think I was told wrong," he said with a laugh. "I'll just call the main desk and get the right one. Sorry about that."
"Wait, who are you looking for?" If it was someone on her floor, she should know it.
"Five Hargreeves? He's the crime reporter, and he should be expecting a call from me. At least, I hope he is, since he turned his cell off."
"Yeah, I can transfer you. Who should I say is calling?" she asked. It was fishing, and she knew it. Only people with offices got told who was calling before the call actually was transferred to them, but who could blame her? It's not like she had very many tools at her disposal to find out anything in Five's life.
"Diego."
She almost gasped. The Diego, and he was on the phone with her. It really did suck that she couldn't interrogate him. A little bit about him yes, but mostly she was curious about Five. And, if she was honest, their relationship. Was he the one Five was married to? It was her only lead, and she'd love to confirm it. What kind of person would not only marry Five, but could be in a long term relationship with him before that? Even the people that deluded themselves into thinking they could date Five didn't think it would last very long, and frankly, Lila agreed. Some people were different when they were around someone they were close with, and Five had certainly shown hints of that with his sister, but she doubted it would be much more with his spouse. He acted mostly the same with his sister, and Lila would bet that he'd acted mostly the same with whoever he was married to. His spouse-- whoever they might be-- would simply... deal with it.
"He should be expecting a call from me," Diego continued, with barely any time in between that and him saying his name.
"Right, I can transfer you. And his extension is actually thirty-one, not thirteen."
"Oh, sorry."
"It happens all the time," Lila said, because it did. Usually though, she just told people and then hung up on them. She wasn't anybody's secretary, and it wasn't her job to transfer calls. She was making an exception in this case purely because she was nosy. She sent the call over and hung up as she heard Five's phone start to ring.
"Hargreeves, crime reporter," he answered. His voice softened a little as he said, "Hey. What's up?"
A small pause as Diego answered.
"Was your flight delayed?"
Lila would give good money to hear the other side of the conversation, especially when Five's voice turned subdued.
"Oh. How long? But that's-" A sharp breath out, then his tone went back to his usual-- clipped and tense. "Yes, I know. I know. Fine." He was silent for a little bit but still on the phone, and then he said, still sounding bothered, "No, I'm not mad at you. It's just annoying that none of them can keep to a schedule and you're the one that pays for it. Can't you demand that they do their fucking jobs for once? I don't care. Tell them you have other commitments. It's not a lie, we had plans; plans count as a commitment." More silence, then he sighed. "You're too nice to everyone, and you work too hard." A response, to which he snorted.
Screw good money, Lila would give her arm to hear what Diego was saying.
"Yeah. Don't wear yourself out. Yeah. I love you too. Bye."
Love???? Diego must be Five's husband! She had proof now! Five said that he loved him! He'd been expecting a call from Diego, and he'd gotten upset when Diego's job kept him too busy! Lila wondered what, exactly, it was that Diego did that kept him busy and on someone else's schedule, but it's not like she could ask Five for that information.
Her stomach rolled when she caught a whiff of AJ's cologne as he passed by, and she decided that this excitement over her discovery of Five's relationship could wait until after she felt better-- he'd still be married to Diego two days from now.
+1
Lila thought that it was a mistake, but not a big enough one that she was going to sit out. Five had admitted the other day that there was a party he was being forced to go to, and he'd made the mistake of saying which one. It was a gala, and Jill had an invite as a reporter-- gossip column, but it was enough to get her in the door.
Of course, somewhere in the process, they'd overlooked that Jill was attending as a reporter, not a donator, and given her a plus one. When she called to point out the mistake and offer the seat back, they said that it was already finalized and she could bring someone-- in fact please do, because any empty seat at the gala would make them look bad. Jill invited Lila because inviting the food critic was the closest reasoning she could make. Besides, they were sort of friends. Also Lila had a dress appropriate to wear to the gala from when she needed to go to the classier restaurants in the Village, so she was the best candidate to accompany Jill last minute. That Five was going to be there as well-- through whatever means landed him there, he was being very tightlipped about it-- was the cherry on top for Lila. She was going to enjoy this night if it killed someone.
This wasn't one of the more exclusive galas, which wasn't a surprise if they made mistakes like giving reporters plus one's, so there were a lot of celebrities present that normally might not warrant an invitation-- not high enough net value, Lila would guess, but Jill ended her explanation there before running off to do her job. It left Lila alone, free to eat as many hors d'oeuvres as she wanted. Normally she had to pace herself and eat slowly so that she could disect the flavors and textures, but hell, she wasn't the one working right now. With that in mind, she grabbed a glass of champagne from a waiter's tray. Jill may not be able to drink because she was working, but Lila was under no such restriction-- never was, given the number of courses that required a wine to complement the food.
She'd only made it halfway through her glass before she spotted Five on the arm of- holy shit was that the photographer Diego? He was a goddamn legend in action photography. Lila had a print from a boxing fight that he'd done hanging up on her wall, but he did normal model work now, last she'd heard.
Wait. Diego. Diego the photographer. Five was next to him now, standing close enough as they faced someone that their arms were touching in more places than they weren't. Diego, Five's husband. Five was married to a famous photographer.
No wonder he hadn't wanted to tell anybody at the paper. Lila alone would've freaked when she met him-- she had four of his photography books, which collected all of his best action shots, thank you very much-- but everyone else was a fan of his work as well, even if they didn't recognize him by sight or name the way she could. Hell, Keechie had a photograph of his printed out and stuck up by his desk! It was from the Intimacy series, which Lila hadn't cared for, even if she'd been able to see the skill in it-- god, if Five had modeled for any of those pictures, Lila was going to... it was so unimaginable that she didn't even know, but it would be over the top, she knew that much.
She'd been staring for too long, but she didn't care. Five might want to kill her for it, but she started walking over to them. Her only real regret right now was that she didn't have the photography books with her and couldn't get an autograph. Oh well.
She stopped in front of Five and smiled. "Hello Five. Going to introduce us?" she asked, glancing at Diego expectantly.
Five glared at her, then grit his teeth and said, "Lila, this is Diego. Diego, this is Lila."
"You suck at giving introductions, no offense." She held her hand out to Diego. "Lila Pitts, I work with Five. Food critic. I think we spoke on the phone once, when you were trying to reach him."
"Right, I remember that. Nice to meet you," he said, shaking her hand. "I'm Diego Hargreeves, Five's husband."
Husband!!! He'd actually admitted it to her face! Of course, Diego had an amused smile on his face while Five still looked murderous, so clearly they were not two peas in a pod. Hargreeves though. Who took whose last name in that marriage? Five's last name had been Hargreeves for as long as Lila had known him. She was dying to ask, but that was too personal for a first meeting. Instead, she said, "You're Diego the photographer right?"
His smile turned bashful. Bashful. Five was married to someone that could look bashful! "That's me."
"I'm a big fan of your work. I have all your action collection books. Which Five knows and never mentioned that he knew you," she said, aiming a judgmental look his way. "If you don't mind my asking, why'd you stop doing action shots?"
"Ah. Five said that he couldn't marry an idiot that kept putting themself in danger, so it was either him or standing on a track and waiting for a car to get a little too close one day. The choice wasn't very hard to make," he said, shooting Five a smile that could only be described as sappy.
Five's glare faded at that smile, but he still didn't look happy with Lila. Good to know that he wasn't a completely different person around his husband, she guessed.
Diego leaned down and whispered something in Five's ear that she couldn't make out, but it made him snort and look slightly more forgiving towards her.
"I don't want to take up your time here, I just wanted to say hi," Lila said. And confirm her suspicions, of course, but she wasn't about to admit that to Five's face. "Nice to see you," she said with a nod at Five, then started to leave.
"Lila," Five said, and she paused and turned back to face him. "Are you going to tell anyone at the office about this?"
Yes. "Would I do that?" she asked innocently.
"Yes," Five said, blunt as ever.
She grinned. "People are curious about you; you can hardly blame them."
"I can and I will."
"Five," Diego said.
Five sighed and rolled his eyes. "Whatever." He turned away from her, and her grin widened in victory.
She was no investigator, but this had certainly been thrilling. 
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archersghost · 3 years
Text
Title: the holly and the ivy
Pairing: adult!five/diego
Word count: 4k
Rating: teen (mentions of sex).
Summary:
Five folded up his newspaper. “You’re being unduly solicitous. I’m assuming you're trying to pry into my private life right now.”
“Oh, as always, Fivey. How about we take out dad’s old whiskey and exchange fun stories?” Klaus suggested.
Diego placed a hand behind his head. “How about it, Five?”
Five followed the action. “I don’t kiss and tell.”
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nightynightkisses · 3 years
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👀 so uhh....
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circumstellars · 3 years
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... ?
[I ended up going back to square one, and redrawing 60-70% of this but with less plastic limbs and more... Diego-attempt. (If it remotely resembles him, r.i.p) This is for @electra-xt, who said catboy!Five and Diego would quote ‘soothe [their] soul’ and tbh I felt that. I really just hate telling myself ‘no’, that I can’t make something work. I’m actually really insecure about this anyway tho, I don’t think it’s as nice as the mannequin one, but only because I really don’t know what I’m doing. I’ve gotten accustomed to drawing cartoon Fives already but the others... anyways this is the first shippy thing I’ve ever drawn, so also r.i.p x 2 I’ll try and get better soon.]
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