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moongothic · 4 months

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i would love trans crocodile but im very cynical that oda would write him in a respectful manner. thats not even thinking of how horrible that one portion of the one piece fandom would treat him

Yeah the fandom sucks and I'm going to strangle everyone (including the cishets who claim to be trans allies and then use "Crocomom")

But with Oda it's weird because like. The more I think about it, the more I'm like... 50/50 about Oda being able to actually deliver good, respectful trans masc rep.

Like I've posted about this before but One Piece does have this on-going theme of having characters "stuck in wrong bodies" or "having one's body changed" (sometimes reversably, sometimes irreversably; sometimes against their will, sometimes consentually). Which, in theory, in my mind, does kind of signal that on some level Oda understands the idea of being "the wrong sex" (whether or not that's a good way to explain The Trans Experience™ is a whole different subject but it's an old fashioned explanation that Oda would probably be/is familiar with) But at the same time, while the concept pops up again and again in One Piece, Oda doesn't really dwell too deep into the idea of what that's like. Like, emotionally. How it feels like to like, get turned into a toy or be a child who gets aged 20 years or to get turned into a cyborg or a giant child or have parts of your body permanently turned into animal parts (sometimes with a will of their own) etc

And like. Part of me understands why, Oda does tend to want to focus on writing a story he thinks teenaged boys would be interested in reading, and he has often stated he wants to have fun with his story too (like that's partially why Luffy's a Rubber Man, because Oda thought giving Luffy a ridiculous ability would make him more fun to write and draw long-term, which is valid as hell) This is why for example Oda has avoided doing any romances in OP, and while there are dark themes in the story, often he has done his best to avoid making them too blatant, as some things would be too mature for his youngest readers (like, for example until Kuma's backstory, it was never explicitly stated what would happen to the slave wives of the Tenryuubito, even saying it was "implied" would be pushing how that subject had been treated until now)

So like. Because of that, I understand why Oda hasn't dwelled into The Feelings™ part much/at all despite the "stuck in the wrong body" narrative appearing time and time again

Either Oda thinks it'd be too boring either for himself or his readers, or he hasn't dwelled into it because he doesn't really understand gender dysphoria and can't relate to the experience (despite how often it shows its face in OP). Or it could be both, even

The thing is though, as OP has gone on, while I wouldn't say Oda has "broken his writing rules", Kuma's backstory alone has pushed them to a new limit with the love-that-never-was story and the all-but-explicitly-stated storytelling.

So a part of me wonders, if Crocodile is trans, could Oda actually like... take a slightly deeper look into his feelings and explore his queer experience? ('Cause god knows, if Crocodad Real, then there really would be a literal coming out-story built into his backstory that would be extremely unavoidable, and as I've mentioned before, the fact that we haven't gotten to learn almost anything about his backstory yet is Kinda Fucking Sus)

Also I do want to mention how... like Oda gets a lot of bad rap when it comes to queer rep in One Piece, but the more I think about it, I think it's more an issue with the terminology and how translators have gone about either localizing it, or more often than not, leaving it unlocalized 'Cause like. Yes the "okama" would be horrible trans rep but... really... they're not trans representation. They're representation for draq queens. Piss poor draq rep, but still, they're draq queens. And just like our very real life drag performers; some of them are cishets. Some of them are gender non-conforming gay men. Some of them are nonbinary*. Some of them are trans women. Obviously lumping all of these people into one group is kinda offensive (which is why "okama" is (as far as I understand it) such an unpopular term even amongst queer people in Japan), and the way Oda often chooses to draw these characters looks no different to how gender criticals choose to present trans women in their propaganda.

*Like Bon-chan, who explicitly states they are both male and female. And Iva-chan, who switches between boy-mode and girl-mode from time to time, could arguably be called genderfluid (though any specific terminology is up to debate). Both are nonbinary draq queens.

And yet, despite all that. It can not be understated how if you put aside the nameless background gag-characters, Oda does treat the actual, proper queer characters with respect. Everyone would agree that Bon-chan is an absolute hero, we would all die for them. Iva-chan (and Inazuma too) is explicitly presented in a heroic light, seen as someone who helps people and fights for justice (with the Revs)

And then there's the first binary trans characters we've actually gotten, Okiku and Yamato. And I'm pretty sure we would all agree Okiku is 10/10 perfect trans fem representation (I am not entirely serious, I'm not trans fem so I can't speak for trans women here, it's just that I can't see anything Horrendously Wrong with how Okiku is presented within the story- not actually perfect but all things considdered, damn good). She is stunning, people around her (INCLUDING SANJI!!) don't just view her as a woman but would go out of their way to date her (as in, she is seen as "desirable", and not as some kind of a disgusting freak to avoid), she is heroic and sweet and kind and just. IDK I love her And while I'm sure many trans mascs would agree Yamato may not be how they want to be seen by the world (though having Yamato ID as a man while having the biggest moobs is surely validating for a lot of people, including anybody who might not want or be able to get top surgery and/or HRT), again, he is only presented as heroic within the narrative and respected by the characters around him, Luffy especially, which is by far the most important part; the protagonist going out of his way to be respectful of trans characters does represent the values of the story.

And like.

Think about how Oda has treated Crocodile so far.

Like, although we're all having a bit of a laugh over the whole Cross Guild thing, Oda is still treating him as a cool character whom he presents seriously and treats with respect. Like Oda wants the readers to see Crocodile as at least a little bit cool. So I can't imagine him pulling a full 180 with how Croc would be treated in the story if he was revealed to be trans, especially when the potential foreshadowing for that was laid out in the story years ago already.

All this to say; Oda is not perfect at all, but considdering the things he has gotten right so far, I think there is hope he could pull it off. Because Oda is for Queer Liberation.

Really, my only concerns would be whether or not there's a risk Crocodile could get somehow detrans'd during the story (I'm praying the Haki theory isn't an option, really Doc Q might be the only true risk here), if he's stealth and that got presented as "a wrong thing to do" (which I'd hope not, like our previous queer characters have been okay with being openly queer but that may have been more for the readers than anything else. At least, I hope, god knows if Crocodile is and wants to be stealth trans then that's his right and he shouldn't have to out if he doesn't want to, and yeah, I don't want him to be demonized within the narrative for being stealth (if he's stealth, for all we know he could be out)) and like, most importantly, what'd end up being Crocodile's "motivation" for transitioning in the first place

Like. God. I just. I don't want there to be a twist where Crocodile transitioned because "being a woman was weak" or because he "wanted to be acknowledged by Whitebeard" ('cause WB doesn't take women into his crew) or "the scar in his face made him so ugly he decided he should be a man instead" (seen unironic Redditors suggest that. Almost lost my mind) or something

Like I hope someone's at least tried to explain gender dysphoria to Oda. Like the man does have actual queer friends in real life (some of whom inspired characters in OP), so I'm hoping at least someone's tried to explain the feelings that come with The Trans Experience™ to him so that, if Crocodile's trans, then Oda can actually try to base his reasoning to transition on those feelings instead of any stupid "reasons" that no actual queer person would relate to

But it all just boils down to... Is Oda willing to actually dwell into those feelings and explore them in the story.

It... it really could go either way with Oda

So yeah. Anon, I'm with you, I'd be lying if I didn't admit I was at least A Little Worried. But also... I want to be hopeful. Because I do believe there is reason to be hopeful.

Only time will tell how it'll go

#Moon posting #Asks #Sir Crocodile #OP Meta #OP Spoilers #Long post #CW Discussions of transphobia #For the record- cishets using ''crocomom'' for like fandom tagging purposes is fine #But outside of that. P e r i s h #Literally no need to misgender him.#(And obligatory disclaimer: yes if you're trans masc you get a pass on misgendering Crocodile. I'm @'ing the cishets not you)#(Also I'm not dead serious. It's just a pet peeve and god dammit I need to complain about it somewhere djkfghdskfgh)#While I'm at it with the tagging complaints please for the love of god tag your genderbends so people can blacklist and avoid them #Your Cross Guild Yuri is fun and fine but for some people having a trans man get presented as a woman in fanart #For no other reason than “girl pretty” pretty much #Can be just really emotionally draining and painful when the world so explicitly **does not want you to be trans**#Just. It'd be The Nice Thing To Do. You can draw your fem Croc just. Please tag it. For the love of god.#These tags are an absolute mess yeehaw

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softquietsteadylove · 2 months

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there can't be enough thenamesh reunion fics!

may i ask for more?

Gilgamesh yanked the Warrior back by the shoulder. She tried to regain her balance but he slammed his fist against her head, creating a gust strong enough to rattle the ship windows. She went down softly.

"Oi!" The Mind Reader was quick to respond to his fallen comrade. They all had a sense of togetherness that Gilgamesh admitted he found absent within his own team (himself, the Soaring Eternal and their Prime).

Ikaris took advantage of the team's sense of protectiveness. He grasped the Speedster's armour collar with his hand, using her as a shield against the puppeteer. He fired his eyes into the dark haired one's armour, sending him through the wall. Then, the Speedster was nothing but a burden.

Gilgamesh winced as she was thrown headfirst to the ground. Ikaris wasn't stronger than him - he knew that for a fact - but he certainly acted more brutally.

"Come on," he muttered in his accent, dragging the body of the Speedster behind him as he floated over to retrieve the Mind Reader as well.

Gilgamesh stared down at the Warrior Eternal. Her body was also limp, but he could feel the Cosmic Energy thrumming within her veins. He could practically feel the rhythm of her heart, if he let himself imagine it. He didn't know what made them so different, according to Arishem.

"You want a hand with 'er or what?" Ikaris snarled at him, piling both of his catches under his arms to bring back to Ajak at the helm of the ship. He was probably just going to sling her over his shoulder, or worse, drag her.

"Go ahead," Gilgamesh grumbled, kneeling down to her. She was his defeat, and his responsibility. Ikaris floated ahead, even banging the Mind Reader's head against the door frame in his lack of care.

Her face looked so peaceful.

Gilgamesh caught himself trying to move her hair away from her face before sighing. He slipped one hand under her arm and shoulders, and the other under her knees. She folded into his grasp so easily he wasn't sure if she weighed anything at all.

"Gil."

He stared down at her, ready for another fight if she was waking again. But as he drew his arms in, all she did was relax against him--him, the enemy. He couldn't imagine why.

But her head rolled to the side, and her tiara even met the cold, hard shell of his chest plate. And yet she had a little smile on her face, as if there were no place she would rather be. He adjusted her a little before making the trip to the head of the ship as well. He did have the courtesy not to smack her head against the door, at least.

She kept calling him Gil.

No one called him that. He didn't even think of himself like that. His name was Gilgamesh, and he was the Strongest Eternal, sent by Arishem to retrieve rogue Eternals who had been tainted by the Deviants of Earth. He had never met this woman before.

But his heart ached in his chest as he carried her.

He felt conflicted fighting her. He had felt awful knocking her out. And he had felt so protective at the thought of Ikaris laying a single hand on her.

"There he is."

Gilgamesh walked in with the Warrior Eternal in his arms. He held her gently, just briefly looking at the other two piled on the floor like litter.

"Well done," Ajak said, observing the difference in technique between him and Ikaris. She waved her glowing hands.

Gilgamesh stepped back slightly as the woman in his arms floated up out of his embrace and upright. The lines of her energy signature formed around her, creating a golden cage in a sense around her.

"These will hold them until we arrive at the World Forge," Ajak clarified as the three bodies floated to their places around the statue of Arishem.

Ikaris joined Ajak again at the front window, discussing their strategy. Those two seemed close but also at odds, in a weird way. Gilgamesh turned away from them, back to the blonde.

She was beautiful.

He wasn't a traitor just for thinking so. He walked closer, looking up at her floating just off the ground. The signature of her Cosmic Energy was weaker, but he could swear he still felt it calling out to him. It was like they were cut from the same cloth.

He reached up, tucking some hair behind her ear and out of his way. It felt familiar, in a terrifying way. Her eyes didn't even flutter. Not that he wanted her to wake up.

Gilgamesh looked back at his teammates, but they were whispering among themselves. They weren't any more concerned with him than he was about them. And that was just fine. They were a team, not some cobbled together family unit.

He looked up at her again. Thena. That name had been pulsing in his head since he saw her. He wasn't sure how; she was the Warrior Eternal, deadly and traitorous. That was all he knew about her. Except her name. And that she had a sweet sounding laugh. It echoed through memories he didn't have.

He hadn't even realised he was reaching up until his fingertips met her cheek. He didn't know what he was doing. He had no explanation for it to himself, much less to his team, let alone the woman herself. Her skin was soft.

It seemed impossible, but he could have sworn to all the stars in the sky that she leaned into his touch, however much she could. He didn't press his palm to her skin. That felt...wrong--like he had no right. Just looking at her felt like a betrayal of some kind. "Thena."

The Warrior's sandy coloured eyelashes fluttered. Maybe she was stronger than Ajak had assumed. She couldn't open her eyes, but he knew they were green (somehow). "Gil."

That name again. It made his whole body burn, like his chest was on fire. He stood back from the Warrior calling for him--someone. He didn't know who she was calling out to, but it wasn't really him.

"Gilgamesh."

He turned towards his Prime, and his fellow Eternal at the window. It seemed so cold over there. He nodded, walking over silently. Only when he was further away did he realise he had been holding the Warrior Eternal's hand.

"Are you prepared to hand them over?" Ajak asked.

He frowned, "why wouldn't I be?"

Ajak was silent, but Ikaris freely scoffed at him, "y'seem awfully soft on the traitor. There's no need for the gentleman routine with faulty scum."

Gilgamesh clenched his fists at his side, but he forced himself to remember his place. "I'm curious, but I'm not confused about the mission."

"Good," Ajak concluded, ending the conversation for both of them.

Ikaris let out one last laugh at him before floating off again. Did he have to fly everywhere just for the sake of it? He could walk just fine.

Gilgamesh tried not to seem like he was watching keenly as Ikaris walked by the prisoners again. Ikaris also looked up at the Warrior Eternal, and Gilgamesh tried not to yell at his teammate to keep his distance from her.

But Ikaris kept moving, and Gilgamesh wasn't eager to admit that his chest loosened. His eyes left the figure of Thena floating limply. He blinked, finding Ajak staring at him. "What?"

She looked back at the Warrior Eternal and then back to him. "You know her."

He shook his head. "We were briefed on all of them. She was a better fighter than I could have imagined. I think that deserves some respect."

Yes, he had respect for his fellow Fighter. She seemed very much his equal, all agility where he was sturdiness. He wanted her to be treated with respect and honour, just like any good warrior.

He wanted her to be handled so delicately a flower would weep with envy.

"I agree," Ajak sufficed to say. She gave him one last look before leaning closer, "keep your mission in mind, Gilgamesh. Whatever the traitors try to whisper in your ear...remember their deception."

"I will," he assured his team leader before she too departed. He stayed at the window, looking into the vast nothingness where eventually the World Forge would come into view. He looked over his shoulder.

It wouldn't be long until he could ask her why she called him Gil.

#Thenamesh AU #thank you so much love!!!#I hope you don't mind #this is a little bit different from some other reunion fics #but I do think this is what it might be like #if we ever get Eternals content ever again please god please anyone I beg of you #Gilgamesh has no idea why he sees this woman #the enemy #and he loves her #he can feel it in his chest every time he throws a punch #he imagines Ikaris grabbing her and throwing her over his shoulder and it makes him want to scream #he says don't fucking touch her!#I mean I'll carry her you go ahead #Gil carries her so gently #when Ajak lets them out of their bindings #Gil catches her before she can hit the floor #Ikaris is like what the fuck is up with this guy #grabs Druig and Makkari again #also I'm so sorry but he would not be gentle with them #Gilgamesh is like I'll carry her #and Sersi will see this and be like Gil #that's our way out of this mess #if we can talk some sense into any of them it's him #Kingo: not your literal ex-husband?#Sersi: no

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running-in-the-dark · 3 months

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oooh. there's a trans woman in this Night Court episode and I'm scared.

#they do the 'man in a dress' joke literally all the time. that's already bad enough #but. so far they've handled similar topics really well (at least for it being the 80s) sooo... maybe it'll be okay? 😬 I'm still scared tho #and of course it's a Dan episode because he's the horrible shitty one.#oh god please don't be a horrible episode please I can't handle that right now 🙃#night court #she has beaten Dan up. I love her. she's great. and they are showing him clearly in the wrong. so... pretty good so far #(but of course 'haha he got hit by a woman'... I mean. yeah but. you don't have to be misogynistic about it...)#oh Dan is the absolute worst and I don't mean it in a nice way this time 😔

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feluka · 9 months

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right. so. the lovely women who rescued shams & noor and nursed them to health and saved their lives and fostered them before i adopted them. they're two lovely middle aged ladies who live together alone. idk how well known this is but women living alone is a HUGE taboo here, especially two living together, especially unmarried ones without their fathers, so i always thought they were awesome and iconic. anyway, i've been forthcoming with my mother about the entire adoption process, since we live together and i can't bring in cats to a home that doesn't accept them, and my mother had been strangely annoyed with my correspondence with these women. to be clear, she was fine with *the cats*, but every time i said "i set up a meeting with [foster lady]" or "i just got off the phone with [foster lady]" she would seem upset and demand that my father accompany me to meet them (which he did :/). i just chalked it up to her being overprotective and worrying about me getting scammed or some sort of stranger danger thing. i'm used to her thinking that way so i never questioned it.

anyway, today (~3 years later) my mother and i were remarking about how healthy and happy shams and noor look, compared to how they were found. she then started praising the foster ladies and saying they did such a wonderful and selfless job rescuing them and providing such thorough medical aid. i reminded her that she used to distrust them. and she just goes "oh, that. i was just worried that they were [insert arabic slur for lesbians] and that the whole cat adoption thing was just a front to lure you in and corrupt you and recruit you. but looks like i was wrong!"

??!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!??!?!?!???????????

#i'm reeling because 1- wow this woman fucking hates my guts doesn't she!! like wow i knew that but wow!!!! it just hit me!!!#and 2- are you kiDDING MEEEEEE I WISH two older women were trying to recruit me to be their third in this cat-loving throuple PLEASE #I WOULD QUIT SCHOOL I WOULD FAKE MY DEATH I WOULD RUN AWAY TO BE WITH THEM THAT SOUNDS FUCKING AWESOME ARE YOU KIDDING ME #I FUCKING WISH!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOD.#also uhhhhh ig some tws are in order #misogyny tw #homophobia tw #lesbophobia tw

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skrunksthatwunk · 9 months

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wip as an excuse to show her off because she's cute to me but also so i can rant in the tags about The Malfunctions I Am Experiencing During This Piece

#god dude my fucking. god #ok so this piece is taking at least 2.5 times longer (if not more!!) than it should because my tablet's pressure sensitivity keeps going #haywire for unknown reasons. and to fix it i gotta plug it in and take it out and plug it in etc etc several times until it gives me #pressure sensitivity again for like 4 lines. otherwise it's all fucked up. it's not even zero pressure either it's spotty. what the hellll #skrunkart #please let this not be another goromi wip i never finish because for some reason it's always her </3 #i'm so sorry baby you're just too much woman for me to handle :(( (<- ambition fueled by love but which doesn't match current ability)#she just gets that more than anyone else unfortunately #anyway i should probably look into solutions for this because wow it's annoying #it's not a new problem it's just super noticable with this because i'm also taking way longer bc i'm trying weighted lineart again #which i used to do more and which fucks!! it's really good!! i just don't do it bc i tend to use rougher pencil-y lineart now #but the smooth is fun and i'm doing it now yippee #OR IT WOULD BE FUN. IF IT WEREN'T FOR THE HORRORS.#anyway. yeah #and i am already very slow at digital art!!!! so this is not good!!!!#augh. for goromi...

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vee-tdc · 9 months

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Its been 6 hours since I walked out of the theater, and I'm still crying about Barbie like holy shit

#first of all aroace barbie for the win #second of all. I can't believe how much this movie has just made me realise how both wonderful and horrible it is to be a woman #how wonderful it is to be feminine and pretty and to love things that sparkle and things that glitter and how much drive and power we have #as women who are so driven and so hardworking and who are so confident in how they see themselves #but also #this fucking patriarchy #being a woman is enough grounds for some people to immeadtly see us as not worthy of being human #like getting human treatment is something to be earned and how dare we ask for anything more than the acknowledgement of our existence #god it hurts #to be so powerless but knowing the power is within us all and we can't be stepped on anymore #and if I had a nickel for every time a Billie Ellish song made me cry for days on end I'd have two nickels #maybe three #whish isn't a lot but its valid that it happened thrice #I'm gonna be thinking about this movie for so long #maybe I need to watch Oppenheimer to cleanse my head of these thoughts of self worth #please go watch it #barbie 2023

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ofmd-archive · 6 months

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my heart genuinely goes out to every black woman and woman adjacent black person who's hurt by episode 7 like i was by zheng being screwed over*. white dude dumly outsmarting zheng is hurting me because she's the sole character that looks remotely like me. Seeing spanish jackie's bar exploded and that it implies she was foolish enough to accept a fucking grandfather clock from someone she cut the nose off of can't be the best feeling.

Idc if the next episode "fixes" things. The statement has been made and the betrayal has been commited. Things can be mended but it sucks cus for once i let my guard down. I god forbid felt safe. I guess that teaches me a lesson.

"But that was just it - hate was exactly the right word. Hate is a force of attraction. Hate is just love with its back turned." -Terry pratchett

That is where i'm left with this show at this current time. No i will not be taking constructive criticism from white people on this. Only voicing this so that anyone reading and is currently feeling isolated, doesn't feel alone. Cus i don't think many people will point this out.

And i swear to fucking god if any of you white saviour fucks try to twist my pain here into justifying sending hate to the writers or actors then you will get the most biting letter i am able to compose from me. Don't you fucking dare take my pain and try to use it just to get your hateful rocks off.

#ofmd #i am not black i just love olu/ctx for my pfp #but spanish jackie is the only rep black women have in this show so doing her dirty sends a message dude. whether you intend it or not #and why include such an important chinese woman if you're only gonna have her repeatedly get screwed over when she historically didn't get #screwed over once #i swear to god if anyone goes “it's not historically accurate” to excuse woc getting screwed over as if that's not a daily fucking reality #then you will be blocked and reported #not spoiler tagging this on purpose and not warning this on purpose. feel free to block me if you're a victim of this but if you're not a #victim/survivor of racism but wanna trigger warn racism cus it's “hard” for you then please block me as well #your energy is rancid in that case #ofmd essay #i guess #when i said i'm bad at essays i meant it/lh #the reason i'm putting this many caveats is because i've been on the internet for long fucking enough to see all this shit go down #it won't change that shit will go down #but i'd rather be able to just block than try to argue #also fine to reblog as long as you don't try to turn it into a crusade or a call to fucking hate actual people or to try and dehumanise poc #by acting like we're children incapable of defending ourselves or who need protecting #that's not activism either #it's just rude and a micro-agression

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psikhika · 4 months

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girl with the most unremarkable but beautiful peasant face alive

#listen my thought process here is: ive never had an art doppelgänger no matter the amount of makeup i have on BUT #am i maybe the most gorgeous woman alive? yes. perhaps.#SO #i just have beautiful peasant woman face syndrome in which my beautiful ancestors were never artistically documented #(god rest those beautiful women's souls)#but i carry their beauty for my life and my love sees the beauty in my face and i see the beauty in his #i'm. i haven't been this drunk in a WHILE please excuse me :}

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tchotchkez · 8 months

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fuck me, fuck my life, fuck it all.

paul rudd in the newest season of 'only murders in the building'? seriously? what more could you all do to me?

#only murders in the building #paul rudd #only murders in the building season 3 #omitb s3 #tate talks #I'm so embarrassingly into this fucking show #I love ALL OF THEM #paul rudd is extraordinary and I want to go down on selena gomez with everything that I am #SELENA IS SO FUCKING BUILT #her beautiful round face #and her voice #god please I just want to worship a woman #and also get railed by and/or rail paul rudd myself #sorry y'all #also I need oliver and charles to smooch

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statuesquueart · 2 years

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Sire to pyre, brother, I swore it to you.

Findis, from @dialux ‘s i imagined a dark world where the stars clamor to be inside us (which is absolutely breathtaking, please go read it!)

#findis #silmarillion #the silmarillion #silm #tolkien #j.r.r. tolken #lotr #tolkien ladies #@ dialux: PLEASE ik i've said it before but DAMN your characterization is literally off the charts!! (is it spelled with an s or z sigh)#you wrote findis so so so so well!!!! literally!! i was gonna say it gives me serotonin but that implies that's it's like. fluff??#which it's not! so it doesn't give me serotonin it instead gives me whatever chemical makes me go absolutely fucking feral #also it makes me want to scream in the best possible way! like i am a woman who is full of rage and i'm here i exist #i'm alive because i bleed! anyway many thoughts head very full i love your writing style so much and again. your characterization brought #-life to characters who are mentioned once. maybe twice? in the published silm (i'm looking at this findis fic and also off the top of #my head the caranthir one!! whew that was a lot of tags sorry for the mini essay <3 your writing? god tier <3 #feanor #jrrt #the silm #lis tag #silm fanart #tolkien fanart

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her-reawakening · 7 months

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Hi, bitches.

*Gossip Girl intro voice*

Her Reawakening is inspired by my very own frontal lobe developing. Let's give it up for her! (applause emojis)

I've found myself in a life long rut. For some reason, I'd thought my life would magically take a u-turn and everything would work out in my favor without my having to work for it. I don't know what kind of delulu I was in but to my shock life doesn't work that way, and it's much harder without a plan.

So let me hold myself accountable here. My future self will definitely read this, and then I'll feel embarrassed about not having done a gotdam fuck thing.

It might have to do with the poison of Social Media which I am apparently very susceptible to, but I have this immense pressure and anxiety to be HER. I want to tear my skin off and put a new one on overnight and reawaken as Her, She. It's so frustrating not being able to do that. You know? Hehe...

I know I can become that version. And you can thinkpiece as much as you want on the dangers of women's toxic and impossible beauty standards on social media but I don't care. *laughs evilly* This is the world we live in and I'd rather enjoy the benefits of being an Angel on Earth. I've only just accepted that I'm starting at a certain point to reach my ideal version, so we're off to a good start. Hopefully whoever reads this will be able to learn from my experiences.

And this is not just the embodiment of beauty, but physical excellence, mental wellbeing, mindfulness, spirituality, social experiences, academic achievement, financial stability etc etc. <3

I want to sleep like a baby knowing I am doing my best to create the life I ENJOY living. I want to be the cuntiest, most solid version of myself. Every breath I take will be proud of me just because I am so excellent.

I have a few goals in mind at the moment.

Eat whole foods 95% of the time.

I am a particularly sensitive person, inside and out. My organs won't accept heavily processed food without making me feel sick, especially with gluten and dairy included. In my experience I have to eat as close to Whole as I can so I will actually feel like a real and functional person. To put this in perspective, eating this way for me is like putting the most expensive oil made for your car and also deep cleaning and detailing inside and out and getting brand new tires and a new paint job. It is a truly incredible feeling and I highly recommend anyone tries it out.

Also, cut out caffeine. I don't want to shock my poor body by going cold turkey so I'm going to slowly cut down my dosages everyday, take it early in the morning (but after two hours of being awake) and drink a lot water with it as well.

Green juices are amazing and my go to for breakfast. They help me feel so revitalized and give me a serious buzz.

I will grocery shop on Wednesday and Prep on Thursdays to avoid feeling overwhelmed of doing it all in one day.

2. Exercise regularly

Workout out 4/wk and Yoga 3/wk

I'm starting out with running since I'm not familiar with the proper forms you need for weight training. I add progression to my workouts of course, one minute longer, .5 miles longer, etc. I also do stair masters, and some leg machines that don't scare me. The glow I get from combining exercise and eating well is insane. It does take a week of 100% commitment for me to get to this 'candlelit within look' but I've done it before so I know I can do it again! I'm going to work out Mon/Tue and Fri/Sat and do an hour of yoga Wed/Thur/Sun! :)

3. Gua Sha/Face massage

I hold all of my tension in my face and traps, so I plan on getting masseter botox for a softer face and TMJ, which is a huge pain for my jaw! In the meantime I will face massage deeply every other day, at 8PM. I eventually want forehead botox as well to help with my frown lines. As an alternative I stick with forehead stickies and it makes a difference.

This is all I want to incorporate right now. They are my most bother some insecurities so I'll do myself the favor and create habits that support them :) I don't want to overwhelm myself and give up completely by too many goals.

Cheers to an update by next Monday!

Xoxo

#vindicta #softmaxxing #hardmaxxing #glow up diaries #ambitious women #Yes IK these are all physical #I'm going to make it happen #nirvana #october #Living out of love for myself #God loves me #I think God is a woman #yuh #please follow me #interact #or your mother dies

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