The Curious Incident of The Flaming Sword in Good Omens
Just like so many other Good Omens red herrings, hints and *Aziraphale voice* clues, the question of 'What the fuck ist the deal with Aziraphale's flaming sword' has been absolutely tormenting my mind ever since S1 dropped all those years ago.
And while many of my other questions about S2 (like 'What the fuck is the deal with the Eccles cakes' or 'Who the fuck made the Gabriel statue') remain unanswered and could, possibly, just not matter at all and I should just get the fuck over them– the unsolved case of Aziraphale's flaming sword in S1 has always seemed like a weirdly important blind spot to me.
So, in an attempt to finally solve this knot in my brain, I made a timeline for the bloody Flaming Sword because what else would I spend my Friday evening on. Here goes nothing, I thought:
Aziraphale gets issued the sword by Heaven to guard the Garden of Eden in 4004 BC, and gives it away to the humans.
God asks him about it right after they humans have left Eden, Aziraphale lies to her and before even finishing speaking, God just loggs off and doesn't seem to care anymore.
The sword seems to be lost for the next 6000 years to follow and, once again, no one really cares.
The first time we see it again is when the International Express Man delivers it to War in the present day.
The next time we see it after that, is when Pepper effectively kicks war in the shin, makes her drop the sword and proceeds to anihilate her with it.
Brian and Wensleydale do the same to Famine and Pollution.
Aziraphale then wields the sword once more, despite never having to really use it (but hey, it looks capital-B Badass).
Lastly, our Holy Delivery Guy then picks up the sword together with the other (now deceased?) Horsmen's artefacts and they once again vanish.
Needless to say, I found myself nothing the wiser after making this timeline. It seemed completely useless. I still had no idea why the sword even existed and why they kept making such a big fucking fuss about it all throughout Season 1. So, I decided to make another list, this time with all the random ass questions I had about this random ass sword:
Why was it issued to Aziraphale in the first place?
Since when does an angel need a random flaming weapon to protect two (2) humans that are already being guarded by a hundred-meter-high wall, when he could very well just miracle away any and every threat to both himself and them?
Was he given the sword to defend himself against demons?
If so, why would they give him a burning blade instead of, for example, a Supersoaker full of Holy Water? (Sure, I'm fairly certain Supersoakers hadn't been invented yet, but you catch my drift)
Is the sword actually burning with hellfire?
If so, it would a) still be a pretty useless weapon against demons, but also b) possibly explain why Pepper, Brian and Wensleydale were able to kill or at least temporarily get rid of three of the four Horsemen of the Apocalypse (who, be they whatever they actually are, surely count as some sort of immortal entities just like angels and demons do)
Did the sword actually kill War, Pollution and Famine?
After all, the World as we knew it did get reinstated by Adam again once they managed to stop Armageddon. Does that mean that the three Horsemen were revived again too? Unless Season 2 takes place in a war-less, pollution-less and famine-less world, they must have somehow made their return (or never really died in the first place)
Where. The Fuck. Is. The Sword. Now?
And why does it bother me so much???????
Alas, just like so many other questions, these too seemed to remain unsolved. And since the fucking sword didn't make a comeback in S2, I guessed that it probably just wasn't more than ... well, a randomly flaming, randomly misplaced, randomly unexplained Flaming Sword.
Nothing more than a plot device.
Hmm, right. A ... plot device.
Hang on. (And that's when it finally hit me.)
It's a fucking plot device.
Most authors and consumers of media are familiar with the use of plot devices in story telling. However, I personally had only every seen characters be used as such, to merely bring an important point across or further underline or advance a story's or main character's development or plot.
It wasn't until I was about to simply give up because I couldn't see my way out of the seemingly unlimited sword-related questions anymore, that I realized: There are no answers to those questions. Just like there are no deeper meanings to any other plot devices. Their sole purpose it so shine some light onto another, more important thing, story or character.
And in this case, that character is Aziraphale. Or more so Aziraphale's choices and his relationship with and belief in God and Heaven. The Flaming Sword (or more so Aziraphale's giving-away of it) is the first way of showing us that Aziraphale:
doesn't always aka pretty much never obey God's will (even all the way back in The Beginning),
will lie to God about disobeying Her
and possibly, just like Crowley joked about, was the one who by trying to do a Good Thing, accidentally gave away something that would later somehow become a literal War weapon, lmao
It also tells us that:
God apparently doesn't always care or cast them out of Heaven when an angel actively disobeys and lies to Her.
Or, for all we know, Aziraphale giving the sword away and not admitting to it was somehow part of Her Ineffable Plan anyway.
Heaven is apparently absolutely useless at keeping track of its very few ethereal belongings.
That's what you get for outsourcing work, you capitalists.
Right at The End, the sword returns to its owner who had it right in The Beginning too: Aziraphale.
And not just that: It actually ends up saving the humans. For the second time. First all the way back in Eden, when it was just Adam and Eve. And now, 6000 years later, at what would have been the end of the World. Very poetic, *wipes away tear*
So yeah, there you go. That's the big revelation I have come to. Would I have preferred to uncover yet another sneaky Gaimanian easter egg just so I could wave it in your face like some sort of a puzzle solved at a scavenger hunt?
Sure.
But hey, sometimes flaming sword plot devices are just that. And I'll make my peace (or War?) with it.
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Hi, do you have the list of flashbacks we could have had but didn't? Thanks!
Hiya! Oooh, like the historical scenes? :) I shall try:
Season 1 - written but not shot:
In which Crowley gets drunk with Leonardo da Vinci - where Crowley does that and buys his Mona Lisa sketch. (in the ultimate script book)
The bookshop opening scene - with Gabriel and Sandalphon as Regency dandies, and Crowley bringing Aziraphale chocolates and saving him from having to leave the bookshop by ‘being promoted’ to Heaven. (in the ultimate script book)
In which Aziraphale almost sells a book - with Aziraphale as Victorian Bookseller. (shared by Neil on his twitter or in the ultimate script book)
In which Crowley goes clothes shopping - scene preceding the 60s one where Crowley shops for ’psychedelic black’ paisley jacket. (in the ultimate script book)
honourable mention: the Rome scene is a smol bit longer with Aziraphale and Crowley talking about Nero and Caligula - this was shot but cut (also in the scriptbook)
(also, I have like a foggish memory Neil mentioning considering them in the ancint egyptian era possibility? 🤔 can't find it so not sure :))
Season 2 - only planned or written but not filmed because covid shortened the episodes (covid costs made 55min episodes into 42min episodes :( ):
an Arabian Nights one by a British-Sudanese author who had made a study of the period and the material previously and she was determined to tell a story set in that time and place that wasn’t from, a “stereotypical western vantage point”. It had a djinn.
a 15th century Papal one
a Wild West one
a 1960s American one with Crowley and Aziraphale female presenting.
Bonus: When Neil was asked about a Christmas special:
Not one that’s going to be on this Christmas, no.
(Thinks, we could do the Birth of Jesus one, where Aziraphale is in the Inn and has rented out all the rooms to welcome Mary and Joseph, and then is sent out to be glorious to the shepherds and forgets to tell anyone at the Inn that the rooms aren’t just for him.)
(Or The Victorian one where Crowley, Aziraphale and the Usher Of Hell are determined to reform a miser by disguising themselves and turning up in his bedroom on Christmas Eve….)
(still hoping to get... all of them :D! <3)
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