#I AM A VAGINA FUCKER

[m4ndysk4nkovich]

you know how ive told you guys that people think im homophobic when i make gay jokes because they cant tell im a lesbian? well, maybe you dont, but it happened again and idk what to do. i made a joke that from a straight woman, would sound homophobic, and i made it in a gc with my two best friends and their other friend. we’re all gay, and the other friend knows i’m a lesbian- after i made the joke i literally clarified. but he got mad and kicked me out of the gc and i can’t join again and i’m literally so confused because i keep getting accused of being homophobic… i literally love women, i have a girlfriend

#oh and this person knows and dislikes my girlfriend #which pissed me off #the kinda jokes i make are the kind mickey milkovich makes about gay men #I AM NOT BEING SERIOUS #I AM A VAGINA FUCKER #A PROUD ONE #LIKE… ughhhhhhh #sorry my hobbies are fashion cosmetology and art maybe i look like a straight woman because of that but im not #like at all #and i havent been since like ever i never even bothered to hide my lesbianism i came out at like 10 #i think this is what i get for my inability to be serious

[nonstandardrepertoire]

the surgery was a success! i am going to be able to lay chicken eggs now :3

#grs #administratrivia #if i'm not around much for the next while it is because i am recovering #say hello to my new government-funded vagina #sup fuckers i'm furry trash now

[richeeduvie]

thank you genius anon for the roman summer house ask. but also richee can you elaborate on this time that roman came out from under the table while drunk… curious to know if he did that for the reason I think he did

"That tickles. Jesus fuck-!"

"I'm not even licking anythi-"

Roman's not. He just finds the inside of your thighs quite comfortable. And your skin smells good. Like really good, it's whatever body wash you're using.

Sometimes, it doesn't feel that taboo to want to peel bits of you off. If he could put you back together without any pain, he would.

"Someone's coming. Just shh."

He rolls his eyes, but his heart feels like the way his mouth purses when he hears it's Kendall.

Roman understands his jealousy. Not very fucking well, but he knows that it's just not right whenever you talk to people. It doesn't even have to be other boys that Roman's sure they want you naked and nippled and for them, it's just...anyone. It's Kendall, but Kendall's a fucking freak. It's Shiv and every adult adult who takes time away from him. It's school and it's movies that distract you.

Maybe it's fucking pathetic? Roman doesn't it. It's not right because it makes him feel sick and small.

And Kendall just keeps yapping. You're too nice to everyone, like it's your job. It's especially peevy when you make it so Kendall's comfortable.

You won't admit it - Kendall won't even admit it, but the brotherly fucker wants you so badly. It's gross. And you should pretty much have the understanding that you don't do well with other people. Just him, even when he's mean. Sorry.

"So, I was just thinking about...you ever hear of go-karting?"

"Jesus fuck."

Roman cringes and lazily comes up from your legs. Not air, cause that would mean he wouldn't be taking in your mouth whole.

"...Roman-"

"You taste like cake. Yum. Hi, Ken." He furrows his brows, looking down. "Close your legs, you don't want to look slutty in front of my brother."

And Roman tries not to wear a stupid-born smile when Kendall just stares, all the confidence and shitty banter gone now that he's here. And his mouth was just on your crotch. That doesn't need to be said between the three of you.

"Do you - do you guys do that al-all the time? What the fuck? That's not cool, dude."

"Why are you pushing this on me? What if she wanted me down in the trenches."

"...Are you-" You hiccup. Roman fixes your hair. "Is my vagina the trench?"

"It's like - take it as a fucking compliment. Wet, narrow....I'm the only one up in there, right?"

"Don't fucking...Roman. Both of you, what if Dad saw?"

"He wouldn't have?"

Roman scratches behind his ear. He can see a purposeful, slight shake of his brother's body.

"What? Cause you wouldn't have made the fucking effort to come up?"

"Why does it bother you so much? It would've only bothered Dad cause it's just more proof that I am his disappointment baby. A vat of unprofessionalism."

Roman knows why Kendall looks so strangled by the way he came up from under the table, why he still looks tense as he throws his legs over you. You look heated. It makes Roman smile.

He knows why even if Kendall never admits it. Maybe he'll get over you like a normal fucking person. But Roman's selfish as much as he is someone that loves his brother. He deserves a bit of tense nerves, his own amount of jealousy because he's not even suppose to be jealous in the first place.

Roman burps and presses a thumb into your hand.

"Go away, Kendall. You have Stewy cock to make you feel better. About what? I don't think either of us have a clue."

He drags out the word clue and stares into your skin, a low head looking down.

Don't give her that fucking look, bitch.

He looks at your guilted face like you've vomited on his shoe.

"Don't tell me you actually feel embarrassed and bad about it."

"You should've waited."

"Oowee, let's spare Ken's feelings. What feelings am I sparing by making the effort to not remind him that I'm inside you at all times?"

When you don't respond, the casual and sickly humor turns red in Roman. He stares.

"What feelings?"

But he's weak, it never takes much and it takes nothing when he's drank a lot. Like a softy, touchy little hand holding his.

"Wanna pick a movie?"

"...It's gonna be a super dirty movie. The most visible pussy and dick you've ever witnessed."

"You had a panic attack watching the first fifteen minutes of boogie nights and we had to put on the beauty and the bea-"

Roman's heart picks up. Why would you ever bring that up?

"You didn't make that moment feel like something you were gonna fucking laugh at me for."

"I'm not laughing, I'm just saying...do you think you'd get like that if you watched us on camera?"

He blinks.

"Have you been fucking recording us?"

"No! I was just wondering."

"You're not good at that. Fucking Jesus."

"Where are you going?"

Back down. Where it's easier to breathe.

#inbox #hc's #drabble #dog and bone!au #roman roy x reader #succession fanfiction

[muselixer]

dumb things my friends and I have said: 2024!

part one: january - march apologies ahead of time for length! feel free to change pronouns if need be. warning for foul and dirty language, suggestiveness, and capslock-implied yelling :)

"I think [hometown] dirt would taste better than the dirt here because it contains a level of lead I've grown used to."

"Incorrect. I am not a mother fucker. I have never fucked a mother."

"Your authoritarianism is quite insatiable."

"He absolutely pulls his limbs off for funsies."

"There's a Pope in the road again!"

"Get a tramp stamp that says 'this is no place for a horse'."

"Have you perhaps considered experiencing natural sunlight? No I'm genuinely asking."

"Everybody wants to see Santa's cock and balls!"

"I think calling physical food in front of you "cuisine" is incorrect."

"Hey Google, unshit my jorts."

"DON'T MAKE ME WHIP OUT MY VAGINA HOLE."

"Ayo, what them balls do, king?"

"It goes hard in a hard way."

"THIS DUDE FARPIN' FOR TWENTY DOLLARS."

"I'll be there in Sprite."

"Get all this Jesus outta the way so I can eat my dinner!"

"With my luck, it could be raining titties, and I'd still look up and catch a dick."

"You must be smoking chicken fried dick if you think I give a chicken fried fuck."

"It is ready for gripping at all times. ...That's what she said!"

"I want that fucking twink in a blender."

"Aw hell nah, they used my boy as a plot device!"

"I meant, as to the condition of the Italian."

"Gimme some of that peepee in the mouth."

"Tell her that her son is cringe."

"A scallop is like a brother to me."

"I blame your astigmatism on your brother."

"She got a cooch like Grand Central Station."

"I BET YOUR PICKLES AREN'T EVEN CRISP."

"Yes, I am a little stupid. It's part of my charm."

"There's a specific kind of white boy that I would... you know."

"Man, don't do this to me. I'm gonna get sads in my ramen."

"Wow, okay, orphan. Who killed YOUR dad?"

"Hell yeah, let me power that rock, daddy."

"Keep sniffing me and I'll peg you."

"I'd get MY interior designed, if you know what I'm saying."

"I think I just get possessed by Chad the frat guy."

"He's what the color lime smells like."

"Can't hear you. Too busy barking."

"...I didn't wanna have to be homophobic today."

"Yehowdy, y'all should vote for me, Mayor Weenis."

"One man complained about the viagra commercial because he was having sex for five hours straight."

"I was busy fighting math."

"I am like a horse. I will not elaborate."

"PICK UP YOUR TITTIES BY YOUR BRA STRAPS."

"Sometimes I hate you and your stupid nipples."

"We have to do super-blow in the hospital."

"The highway to Hell has guard rails!"

#sentence starters #rp starters #ask meme #rp meme #rp prompts #(( this is almost two weeks late!! sorry!! bye!! ))

[vikugnavikugna]

Me, trying to think of the most niche wormblr post ever: Boston's Favorite Son as an underground radio show in the twigverse

"Jonathan was in the Primordial Outbreak 1903. Since then he has appeared in precisely zero medal-awarding conquests, black coat experiments or small-scale acts of insurrection. We are here to fix that. We are here to make Jonathan of Primordial Outbreak a star. Radham’s most favored progeny will ride again."

Jonathan (white coat; has his own lab where he works in the Most Boring Experiments Ever; had 0 modifications done to his body despite balding; frequently mentions that if his bosses found out he was doing this show they would kill him) is the closest to his irl counterpart. Mostly gets on the show to get bullied by 2 of his friends, who tell him to get gruesome modifications done to his body, whilst he complains about how unsexy he is (and YET he REFUSES to get any modifications - the GALL of this MAN!). Has a son who does a worrying amount of experiments at home ("My son has recently started spiking my drinks with skeleton growth pills he made so I am currently in the process of growint a second skeleton" he mentions calmly, as his cohost burst into a maniacal laughing fit). Gets a ton of weird fan messages that range from clones of him in the fetal stage to vat grown parts to make him into a Noble slaying living weapon. Also cum tributes. There is an episode where Jonathan records during the Sub Rosa incident. He's hidden in his lab mid quarantine talking through the radio. At one point we can hear Sy enter the room and break all of his fingers. Steph and Conrad laugh and tell him to replace his fingers with sausages. Oftentimes recalls stories from his time in the Primordial Outbreak. He didn't even stop it, but he was there when other people did. No one remembers him.

Steph (actual revolutionary leader that, for some reason, still does this show; has more modifications you could imagine and half of them are strictly sexual) often tells Jonathan to break into a random lab and inject himself with whatever he finds there for publicity. Once Duke takes over the Academy, most of her ideas turn to courting him ("Why aren't you a noble yet, Jonathan? Marrying into nobility would be great for your image") or overthrowing him ("Here's how I'd do it. You ready? Yeah? Wings. You need to get yourself a pair of wings, Jonathan. The fucker could never get you if you had a pair of wings let me tell ya"). Has a ton of followers Cynthia/Mauer style and all of them are utterly perplexed why she records this show. Loves mentioning Loyd, an illegal doctor who lives by the river and gives people surgeries for free.

Conrad (escaped experiment; has a cult) mostly just facilliates Steph's ideas. He gets underground doctors and prepares them to make surgeries on Jonathan, which the man always rejects. "What are we supposed to do with the 10 killograms of chicken feathers I ordered to push into your skin one by one?"; "What am I supposed to tell to the doctor I outsorced getting a horse's vagina to?!"; "Jonathan, this is horrible news for the 10 children I kidnapped to use their bilogical material to grow your clone". Member of his cult make up 99% of the shows audience, with the remaining 1% being Sylvester Lambsbridge. Misses a couple episodes early in the radio show's run, because he's busy betraying the academy in Brechwell.

#this came to me in a vision when I switched from Twig audiobook to Boston's Favorite Son whilst drawing #absolutely 0 audience for this I assume but I couldn't stop it once it begun #had to be committed to a flop post

[trickstarbrave]

am i the only lesbian who is tired of vaginas being plastered over everything "lesbian". "lesbian jewelry"--vagina ring. "lesbian makeup!!"--embossed with vaginas.

like not only is it transphobic and anti-intersex to assume all lesbians have vaginas but like. not all lesbians have sex all the time. our relationships dont always revolve around sex. i am a horny mother fucker but i resent the conclusion "being a lesbian means you're ALWAYS thinking about vaginas!!" like what the fuck are you talking about. straight men aren't walking around in vagina jewelry. straight women aren't wearing cock jewelry.

like i think there is a time and a place for being really horny. and people can wear what the want. but WHY is it always lesbian stuff. am i going insane.

[silvcrignis]

Claude Frollo Out of Context Sentence Starters || Part I/?

I have a divine mission to spread the Our Claude > Canon Frollo propaganda. What better way to do so than by making various quotes of his a sentence meme?

Clowning

 “What the FUCK is Bible Study & Chill?!”

 “Do you lot think the Booberry ghost is blue because he died by strangulation???

“I was absolutely high as shit last night. The Warwick Davis leprechaun himself could have started playing knick knack on my lung & I likely would not have noticed.”

 “HOW MANY OF YOU FUCKERS SAW ME EVERYDAY & KNEW I WAS GAY & DID NOT FUCKING SAY ANYTHING?!”

 “MA’M/SIR THAT IS FOUR MILLION DOLLAR MERCHANDISE DO NOT BREAK WHAT YOU CANNOT BUY!” 

 “...Why do you smell like Nesquik Strawberry Milk?” 

“The asshole you are trying to reach is not available. Please disconnect the call & do not try again.”

“Also the day you catch me living in a shack is the day to lock me up because that would mean I finally went clinical, pal."

“Quit talking about shoving things in my ass, you perverted old man/woman!” 

 “Well. You are BORING me right now. I cannot relate to your poor person problems.”

“If I could physically meet myself I would beat the shit out of him.” 

“…I am not sweet, __. Slander me again & I will take legal action.” 

“Her vagina could probably host a fucking bounce house for all of them.”

“Na fam. Delete it right now.”

“Nearly every single time you speak you bring this family great dishonour.”

 “There is only so much suffering I can endure.”

 “I FOUND A CAT!

 “You would end up being spilt worse than my firewood.

“You cannot do coke, that is illegal!

 “Down to fucking kill myself.”

 “If you are so insistent on sucking my cock this often you ought get some knee pads.”

“I like snow. It is a good way to hit your enemies with glass shards before they realise what is happening.”

 “Do you want bullshit or the truth?”

 “I am seconds away from a brain aneurysm, son.”

 “You would be a wonderful addition to someone’s mantle. In an urn!”

 “Shut the fuck up, old man!”

 “I do not use Faebook. Faebook is for losers & old people.”

 *sarcastically* “I went out to the woods. Pretended to be a forest nymph for a few hours.”

“That is… Not my problem.”

 “Did the vibrating make it better or worse, son?”

“New Jersey’s state fruit is blueberry, you fucking crackhead.”

“No no. Continue squabbling, bottoms.”

“Like what the fuck like I can say hoe if I want to! I am a hoe, I have the pass!” 

“I want no part in your cockles, __.”

“That is too many babies, Miss/Mister.”

“Ugh no.”

“Pull up then, Fuckboy.”

“Actually I was thinking about that one medieval meme about the leggings.” 

“You cannot cancel me. I am a bad bitch.” 

Being Fucking For Real

“… Unless… Oh fuck… I must be having another psychotic break.

“Would not be the first goddamn time I had a hallucination…”

“Those were the last words I ever said to my own son’s face… Then I never saw him again.”

“... Tell me you love me again? Please?”

“What the hell was I supposed to say to you that would not sound fucking weird & desperate?”

“You know, wills to read & a little brother to parent…”

“… It was always you but… You deserve someone normal.”

“I will be perfectly fine alone, the way I always am.”

*wryly* “Ah yes, because everyone keeps their promises, __.”

“I am going to beat his ass. The next time. I see him.”

“God, I know I do not deserve it but I love you so fucking much.”

#Sentence Starter Meme #Roleplay Meme #RP Meme #Sentence Starter Prompt #Roleplay Prompt #RP Prompt #x: Don't Be Craven! (Meme) #c: Claude #x: Scripted #((He's too quotable & its terrifying)) #((This is beautiful I love how he can be either a moron or bring me to tears))

[gvftea]

"I can hear the puritanical screeching already, but let’s have some fun, ladies. How do you think the guys rank in bed and why?"

It's so curious how our perception of these men is so vastly different. Here's your ranking, my input as to why I agree/disagree, and my ranking:

1. Jake. Obviously the Vaginatarian has the top ranking. The man gives off intense, darkly sexy vibes and seems like he’d be most open to experimentation.

I agree he gives darkly sexy vibes but he doesn't strike me as someone who is open to experimenting. On the contrary, he strikes me as the kind of dude who would jump away if you touch a buttcheek and try to sneak a finger past his taint or something, and would constantly try to repeat the same things if he finds something that works. I do feel like he would be good at penetrative and oral (Also maybe this is TMI but to me, he's kind of mean. Like he's a mean fucker, you know? Kind of aggressive but not overly so) and for that reason I'll give him spot #2.

2. Sam- He seems like he’d be eager to please and a good time with lovely cuddles to follow.

Sam looks like a pillow princess to me (I am a lesbian, not sure if pillow princess is a term I can use with men?) He's the kind of dude who would just lay in bed, have you suck him off, then have you ride him and that's it. I do agree he looks like he would be good at aftercare and cuddling, he just seems like the type. He's #3 on my list.

3. Danny- Big frat boy vibes and probably incredibly unsatisfying. He seems like he’d be all big talk and then freeze up when it’s time to get down to it.

Wholeheartedly agree. This man doesn't know where the clit is, has never been able to locate the G spot, can almost guarantee Mack faked most orgasms during their relationship. This is the guy who spends all day sexting you, (and he's not good at it either, he's just like "haha, and then what? :)") gets you all worked up and then when you finally meet him he just rubs your left labia and asks if you like it. Worst part is that he doesn't even know he's a bad lay, he genuinely believes he's a sex god. He's #4.

4. Josh- Luckily for Danny’s #3 ranking I’m 100% sure this man wants nothing to do with anyone’s vagina."

Not entirely sure what Josh's orientation is or what he likes but there's no doubt in my mind that he puts his whole Joshussy into it. He's participative, he's loud, he probably talks through it. Also out of the four he is the one who gives me really open-to-anything vibes. Like, in my mind, Josh is a true try-sexual, there's nothing and I mean NOTHING he won't try at least once. He's adventurous- He'll do missionary on a bed with the lights off on Monday, then fuck your brains out (or get his brains fucked out?) in a public bathroom while people are waiting outside on Tuesday. He's #1 to me and whoever gets to have sex with that man is lucky asf.

So my ranking would be: 1-Josh 2-Jake 3-Sam 4-Danny

#greta van fleet #gvf #josh gvf #sam gvf #jake gvf #josh kiszka #danny wagner #danny gvf #jake kiszka #sam kiskza

[wack-ashimself]

'Code 46', or as I call it...

"Psychic in the dystopian fascist multicultural future investigates fake passport making, finds the criminal, falls in love with her, frames an innocent man for her crimes, knocks up the criminal 19 years his senior in a one night stand, comes back when his frame job doesn't work, finds out the criminal (cuz she did get some people killed even unintentionally) had a forced abortion AND mind wipe with a virus because they broke code 46 (sharing 50% DNA! She somehow was a clone of his mom...?), then he ditches his completely innocent wife and kid to run off to a shady city with his new love after he breaks her out...the end."

No, not really. The ONLY redeeming part of this shit show was the ending. Everything up to the ending was fucking dumb.

<or the new title: 'Millennium minder reading mother fucker, literally." lmfao>

I'll get to the ending, but this movie was uneasy in a 'who the fuck needed to tell this story?' Like, a dad, happily married (never shows ANY signs otherwise), falls in love with someone, who could be his kid based on age, for a one night stand whom he is attracted to because they share 1/2 the same DNA, because she's a 100% clone of his mom, BUT because she...went thru some shit (they basically say that) she's only 1/2 his mom? WHAT KIND OF FUCKED UP BRAIN NEEDS THIS STORY TO BE TOLD?

You don't understand. I found this by looking for unknown trippy movies. And tho poor ratings, tons of people said this was an 'unknown classic' and a 'great love story.' Tho haters on it said the leads had no chemistry. I would say that they didn't have chemistry AND it's a FUCKED UP LOVE STORY. Like, who gives it all up for a one night stand when he isn't unhappy? Just spur of the moment cheating? I dunno. "They're naturally attracted." HE WAS BORN OF ANOTHER VERSION OF HER VAGINA!

So since I am bitching, I'll say the good parts. Great background and side actors. Set pieces, theme, and shots were perfect. They created a world you genuinely felt surrounded by. There wasn't anything that felt off, ya know? And they had this melting pot of the world. Not just culture, but language. They interwove, smoothly, between so many languages. <And with no captioning because the captions were like 2 minutes further than the movie (never saw anything like it), I had to guess what they were saying, but posture, tone, and facial features actually made me feel like I was learning a few new key phrases in other languages.> And it was consistent with that. Everyone would say the same hellos, goodbyes, and greetings. It was back and forth between one language and another, and not in an unnatural (for the audience) way.

Now back to why it's shit. lol

At the beginning they say 'if you are 25, 50, or 75% DNA match, it is a crime.' So....if we were 77% related, it'd be ok? Why didn't you just say 25% and above? Like, it makes more fucking sense.

They set up this beautiful world (i mean, terrible, but it looked realistic), but never explained a fucking thing. Ever. Why is there worldwide accept fascism? Why clones; I mean, if you monitor who fucks, why are you still cloning? Shouldn't you also be monitoring the cloning more, based on this EXACT situation? How do you control these viruses <it's how he can read minds>? You get extremely limited travel passes; they expire, you're stuck? FOREVER? Like, what? "I'm going for milk honey." Be back in 30 or you're stuck on that side of town for at least a couple weeks...

And they just shrug off how both of the leads are TERRIBLE fucking people. Actually, more the psychic cop than the criminal. The criminal did the passports to help people get to their dreams. People died cuz they didn't prepare for where they were going. Not really her fault. The guy? Cheats, twice. Frames an innocent guy. Lies to everyone. And looks like he EASILY would abandon his kid. For absolutely no god damn reason. His motivations were ALL over the place. Like someone rolling the dice and doing whatever it says. He was inconsistent and selfish. Love story my ass.

So, finally, to my probably 3 people over 5 years that like this, here's the fucking ending that made this shit show decent (cuz I like being surprised, and I was.)

I didn't mention, the female criminal was narrating the whole movie. Never understood exactly how/why. Remember that...

They run. Skeezy hotel. She asks about his family, he tells her, and again shows no fucking remorse like the bitch he is. They try to make love but, WAIT! In addition to wiping her memory, the virus they put in her made her subconsciously NEVER want to have sex with the man who impregnated her again. She fights and squirms like...she's being raped. So....BDSM comes in. I'm fucking serious. Her line? "Make me want to make love to you." UGH. So he ties her up, she screams the whole time, till slowly she just repeats 'I love you.' YOU JUST REMEMBERED HIM! WTF. And you barely knew him before also. Oh and they showed her vagina. Guess I don't look for movies like that, but I swear, I didn't think you could do that rated R. <I thought it was boobs only...but wait, boogie nights showed his dick, right?>

<Anyways, after that, THIS is where I started to like it. And it was funny cuz I saw this moment in the trailer, KNEW it was said, but....didn't put 2 and 2 together.>

Morning. She wakes up like a robot. Marches downstairs. Calls the cops on herself and the man for a code 46 violation, and walks back up to bed and falls asleep. The guy is watching the whole time in shock. Turn out, the virus she was given also forces her to do that after a code 46 (also, WHY not immediately? Why wait till morning?) WHAT!? OMFG! She narc'd on herself! WHAT! Guy spends the rest of his money on a car, and they flee. With the cops hot in tow (in a helicopter, in a desert: they don't have a chance.) They flip the car (tho it was avoidable if they just slowed down for 2 seconds), crash, and are caught.

BUT THAT'S NOT ALL!

Guy is waking up from the accident, criminal narrates that because of his virus to mind read, they think he went haywire. So with other viruses they delete the mind reader virus, delete memories of the girl, and made it look like he solved the case and simply got into a car crash. The WEIRD part of this all? His wife knows EVERYTHING (or at least MOST of it), and just makes out with him and fucks him later at home (which, by the way he touches her, subconsciously, he is still thinking of the criminal). He...he left you and your son.....you're that desperate to get back to what you had? How could you? Cuz, IMO, logically they would let the wife know the basics of the situation if only to make sure those two 'lovebirds' don't ever meet up again. So his wife will forever know what he did; he won't. That's fucked up.

And FINALLY...criminal was banished outside the walls again, but LEFT with her memories (since she can't get into the city). And she was narrating the whole movie cuz the memories of him were the only thing that kept her going...(they, ya know, less than a week they knew each other.)

So that's it.

Worth it, barely, cuz of the special effects, sets, and ending. The rest, including most of Tim Robbins's acting, was kinda like 'well, they got the job done. Not good, but done.'

'Code 46': 5.9/10. <I give these reviews & numbers so you can judge if you wanna watch it>

ps-best part? Hm...can't say fav scene, but most memorable was them, singing terribly, while she's taking a piss. Like...you can't say you see that in every movie. lol Piss singing.

side note: I just think with this universe alone, the fascism, multicultures, and especially those viruses, you could write a whole other fucking movie! I just felt like they ruined their own world with a boring story. Oh, and it's called code 46 cuz of chromosomes. They don't say that in the movie, but I found out while looking into it. Kinda smart.

#movie #movies #movie reviews #code 46 #code46 #spoiler #spoilers

[hndwrttn]

the author of those monster fucker novels really likes to pop off on the mundane world building for the lives of human women who get with monsters that hang dong. like, damn, i am invested in the woman's divorce from her lizard man husband and how he left her feeling alone in their marriage and didn't fulfill her with his two weiners to her one vagina. she is my sister and i care about her now.

#hndwrttn book blogging

[imgoingtoputscorpionsinyourmouth]

online games make me hate ppl sometimes i wont lie. Like is it really hard to stop yourself from saying vulgar shit to me once you realize i am a woman godddddddddd. like last night i was playing this like acting game on vrc with some friends and we were being the van der linde gang and trying to do like all the voices and being silly. but like dudes will STILL come up to me and make some gross joke about me having a vagina or like talking about my thighs or like try to grope my avatar???????????????? when im like pretending to be arthur morgan and fake coughing on ppl., i dont get it and im soooo fucking tired of it. like i was doing it with 3 other ppl and they are all audibly men and they NEVER get that kind of shit directed at them it sucks so so so hard. Like we were on for like ~3 hrs and over the course of that time likr 4 or 5 times some random fucker would just come up to me and be awful.. its so ANNOYING esp since i actively try to distance myself from the strange dating and erp shit on vrc w how i conduct myself and what avatars i use but it still Fucking happens so frequently it makes me feel sad sometimes. Like when someone seem,s like theyre funny and chill when talking to the other ppl i was withj (audibly male) but then they hit me with the evil wretched behavior when they realize im not also a dude. Whatever die forever freaks. im just trying to have fun with my friends

[mark-of-chrysus]

I remembered the Mommy Sammy loop and I was wondering - what if it was combined with the Little Daniel getting adopted by Big Deal loop? For example, what if Danny is adopted and the whole Johan incident happens soon after, but Sammy decided that she'll take her in under her wing. Female Johan and Samuel would be so cool.

Meanwhile, Danny is growing up and he realizes that Samuel and Johan are girls but Big Deal still hasn't realized it. Cue Daniel casually tring to tell Sinu and Yeonhui and the rest of Big Deal about it and them not believing him because what girl would be as much a psycho as those two (they think this with affection).

It would also be kinda fluffy since Samuel would probably stay with big deal and maybe try to legally become a business mogul (kind of like going to school and still making one mcn, just not with workers).

Idk I just thought it was a cool idea. Sorry for all the rambling.

"All of them are dumbasses," Daniel grumbled, kicking pebbles.

"Mhm." Sammy didn't even bother pretending otherwise, as she completed another test and began checking her answers.

Daniel had just returned from his usual daily attempt at opening Sinu and Jake's eyes regarding Sammy and Johane's gender. It had gone as expected, he got laughed at and sent on his way so the adults could 'do their job' (playing video games until 3 am). He had managed to convince Yeonhui a few weeks ago, as the girl was obviously much less dense than the two dunderheads leading the crew.

The time-looper trapped in a 7-year-old's body gave a long-suffering sigh, crouching near the steps on which his big sister figure was sat.

"They even had the gall to laugh in my face and tell me that I was making stuff up to avoid doing my homework. Can you believe that?!"

"The audacity." Samuel drawled making the tiny boy bristle even harder.

"You aren't even listening to me!" He shouted in annoyance, maybe a bit too loud for how late at night it was.

'Yep, definitely too loud' he sweatdropped when the lights in the building behind them turned on. A ruffled, half-asleep brown-haired girl made her way out after a few beats of silence, followed closely by her loyal companion. Eden took one look at them, deciding that whatever human business they were doing didn't affect him, and headed back in after a large yawn. Johane looked tempted to follow his example.

"What are you two doing?" She asked instead, plopping down beside Sammy. "You know you're going to ruin your eyes like that, right?"

Sammy looked up at her. She had a flashlight strapped to her head and was checking her answers in pink glitter pen while the book was precariously balanced on one of her knees. The buff girl pointedly pushed her glasses up her nose.

"You know what I meant." Johane huffed "You're going to damage your eyes even more, then you'll have to wander around like a blind bat before age 30. And what's gotten in you, pup, why'd you shout at 1 in the morning like a damn prairie dog?"

The child shuffled his feet, the tips of his ears reddening.

"I didn't mean for it to be that loud. It's just that the guys-"

"What guys?"

"Sinu and Jake" Sammy supplied

"-are being such idiots that it's starting to really irk me!"

Johane paused, probably still a bit slow from tiredness and trying to gather her thoughts and articulate them in a kid-friendly way.

"Did you just now notice?" Was all she managed to come up with. "I mean, they've been like that since-"

"Forever." Sammy completed her sentence, closing the book and turning off the flashlight before turning to face her two younger siblings figures. "So those fuckers can't take the fact that me and her were born with vaginas and boobs. What are you gonna do about it? It's not as if you can force them to change their minds..."

The maniac smirk that spread on the beastie's face (She thought him that! That was her greatest achievement in raising the little hellspawn and no one could deny it!) made her pause. Sammy knew how devious the brat could be, but as she thought back to what she had said offhandedly just now, the Economical Studies students could already predict his thought process.

"Thanks, Sammy! You just gave me a great idea, I knew those crocodiles with lightsabers would come in handy again!" He ran up to the buff girl and gave her a quick peck on the cheek before running off.

"What have we just unleashed?" Sammy pondered out loud.

"And where is my kith?" Johanne slurred already half-leaning onto her shoulder.

#time loop #lookism manhwa #webtoon lookism #lookism #daniel park #johan seong #female johan #samuel seo #female samuel #big deal

[shitbrainratface]

someone I know tried to do the "I hate that I like men! I mean boobs and vagina are so good, men suck and do not have boobs or vagina" to me, a trans man, when they knew they were talking to a trans man

I was so high that before I processed the transphobia, all I said was "Not me! I love men! I am a man-fucker!" with the cheeriest, silliest grin I could do and I think it put them in shock that I wasn't engaging in surface-level 2014 tumblr-feminism LGBT small talk with them lol

#we then watched Everything Everywhere All At Once and they made racist ass comments about the asian characters #so yeah we dont hang out anymore #ok to reblog

[f1nalboys]

Peacemaker S1 Ep3 Better Goff Dead live watch

tagging @tinalbion in the subsequent posts for this <3333 thank u for convincing me to finally start it 🗣️🗣️

-“we know who she is we don’t need to know how much she enjoyed having sex with you” “what if it’s a clue?” “it’s not” “fair. i was just trying to slip it into conversation. hope nobody noticed. my bad” JFKWODNKWD stop bc why do i enjoy christopher sm rn 😭

-he’s just funny!!

-theM YELLING AT VIGILANTE FRIM BEHIDN THE TRASHCAN AND HES LIKE “why do i have to leave i’m just looking from behind a trashcan” IDKSKJD

-ur honor… he’s perfect

-“are u a psychiatrist?” “WHAT?” “then don’t tell me what’s normal!”

-vigilante wants to be chris’ best friend :3

-“even tho i mostly kill white people so…catch ya guys later :D”

-LEOTA AND CHRIS AND ADRIAN NEED TO ALL BE BFFS BY THE END OF THIS SHOW. DO U ALL GET ME.

-lets kill a senator baby

-WHY DO ALL PEOPLE WHO THINK PRO WRESTLING IS REAL THINK CLIMATE CHANGE IS A HOAX

-goff is a little butterfly

-VAGINA

-him laughing so god damn hard at her stop

-CAN THEY JUST TELL HIM WHAT A BUTTERFLY IS

-a butt baby 😭😭

-judomasters little suit

-“any questions?” “yes…is scissoring real i keep getting contradictory reports” “i always suspected u were a butt baby from the beginning” STOPPPPP bffs

-“what? i’m an ally!” “having a lesbian haircut doesn’t make you an ally” I LOVE HER

-let’s see if he can draw the dove of peace

-nope yeah looks like a ghost

-“there. there’s a feeling of mine” murn is just like me

-murn is so funny actually hehe

-she’s sharing her trail mix w him and he’s putting everything that’s empty calories back 😭😭

-not the berenstain va berenstien bears fight 😭

-HEHEH

-judo master eating cheetos he’s just like me

-“i’m not a fucking drawer >:(“

-them shit talking amanda in front of her daughter D:

-the way he is sitting on the ground JDNWOJDIS

-anyways. christopher and emilia weirdly flirting and bonding over their shitty fathers and childhood >>

-i’m glad he doesn’t want to kill kids anymore and is like,,,, becoming a better person

-NOT VIGILANTE FIJWKFJSJD

-vigilante-mobile 😭😭😭😭

-“dude they know ur here get out of the bushes” “i don’t know what ur talking abt” JFKWOFNKWF

-them STILL fighting abt the berenstain bears JDJEKDJJE

-what is this goop

-OH EWWWW

-their butterfly mouths

-is he gonna be able to do it

-he’s :( guys he’s making me sad

-is vigilante gonna do it for him :3

-damn all 4

-JUDO MASTER SAVES PAPA BEAR

-here comes murn 🗣️

-“obviously he feels anger -_-“ JFMWODNWK

-HE STABBED ADRIANNN

-judo master kicking adrian’s ass 😭😭

-harcourt getting mad that leota didn’t want to kill the secret service guy but this whole time she’s been talking abt how they don’t kill innocents and then killed an innocent so 🤨🤨 what’s the truth

-emilia FUCK OFFFFFF

-i am forever in the leota defense squad

-judo master w the cheetos once again <3

-“ur fucking adorable i wanna put u in my pocket. i wanna take u home and play with u with my gi joes”

-“remember when i fucked you up?” period

-the senator is kind of … SORRY

-the soundtrack is so good

- torture time 🗣️

-NOT ON ADRIANS NUTS

-JUDWJIDND judomasfwr flipping peacemaker off like exactly

-they pulled adriens mask and he’s changing his facial expressions 😭😭

-fuck you christopher.

-MY POOR BABY

-james better stop judomaster from leaving

-“uh…maybe you could just give him a little” no fr

-“NO NOT THE FUCKING CAR YOU LITTLE FUCKER”

-“WHAT? my pinky? why me again???” :( STOP BEING MESN TO HIMMM

-the way his face dropped when christopher said to cut off all his toes he deadass went 😦

-HES RLLY CUTTING HIS TOE OFF???

-can these bitch hurry up and blow the fucking door down AND SAVE HIM

-OR CAN HE UNTIE HIMSELF FASTER???

-“WHY IS IT NOT COMING OFF?” “BC UR BLADES R DULL AS FUCK MAN WHY DONT YOU MAINTAIN YOIR TORTURE SHIT??”

-murn getting blown up

-JUDOMASTER LISTENING TO KPOP LETS GO

-HELDOFNAKCN

-JAMES JUST KNOCKED RHE FUCKKKK OUT OF JUDOMASTER W HIS TRUCK

-blew his head off <3

-damn knocked him out of the car and everything 😭

-HE HIT HIM W A CROW BAR AND THEN BACKED UO AND KEEPS DOING IT

-him laughing 😭😭😭 “ECONOMOUS MOTHER FUCKER”

-adrian :3

-OH ITS A BUTTERFLY INSIDE THEIR BRAIN

-economous dancing like exactly

-the butterfly design is cool

-OH DAMN there’s a lot of suspected butterfly’s

-like a LOT

-ok end credit scene

-“but if you just be chris smith people might actually like you” 🥹🥹

-ok i’m excited for episode 4 bc uhm. adrian in his little prison jumpsuit…..gulp

#peacemaker #peacemaker 2022 #b reacts live #s1 ep3 better goff dead #christopher smith #adrian chase

[seasurfacefullofclouds1]

The fan fiction is so ingrained that Harry only has control when he is buying his fans 10p boas or setting up photo ops with a pride flag or inviting the crew for a pizza party via a promotional flier. He is forced to write songs about the female vagina but is given free reign when it comes to play acting his propensity for fellating on stage. He is allowed to act in a gay movie but not allowed to promote it because if he promotes it people will know he is in a gay movie?!??

Anon # 2: It’s insane how much people are victimizing harry, they truly think he’s some azoff puppet and they’re forcing him to do stuff like bffr 😭😭😭 he’s as successful as he can be, on a way to being a billionaire and with a gf who worships him like he has everything, stop with this “aw poor harry” nonsense, he’s a grown man

Anon #3: Sorry but your last anon is Moving like a larrie. H's greed and everything he has done to L and others is very clear now and although I wish karma would get him, it ain't happening anytime soon. As far as the Holivia and dwd drama, H is actually the biggest winner in it all. At the end of the day he scored a very anticipated movie with Hollywood's current It girl, in a role that was destined to Shia Labeouff while having zero acting talent thanks to Olivia (and Jeff) can you imagine? Him turning out to be such a mediocre actor is not anyone else's fault. And even with the drama surrounding the movie, he still has a movie in his repertoire and is being nominated in people choice awards despite his hedious acting. Also, his raputation wasn't affected at all. Olivia is the only one being held responsable in both the infedility drama and the movie failure. PS: i don't understand some people's obsession with H's regret about what he's done and the so called 'empty eyes' like i doubt he regrets anything but even if he does so what? he isn't doing anything about it and he deserves so much worse. I'll be waiting and praying for his downfall and if it happens one day, i'll enjoy it like nothing else i'm petty like that. Anyway, sorry for the rant it's just frustrating how people want to humanize him while he's just a a greedy fucker who only cares about money. Have a good day/night!

Anons, I am also petty like that. I don’t think it’s ever going to happen, but the day Harry’s name becomes synonymous with the Worst is the day I’ll pop out the good champagne.

#harry styles

[sweaterkittensahoy]

Got reminded of when I worked at the comic shop way back when, so here's a story:

I was the only female employee at the shop. It wasn't on purpose given where I lived at the time and the time I was there, but it was, in general, considered an anomaly. There were people who were a bit shocked (or worse) to see a femme* behind the counter.

A few different stories that I recall with fondness:

The ladies who read comics including Tarot: Witch of the Black Rose and Witchblade and were CERTAIN I'd love them, too because they DID love them but had no female comic fans to talk to about them, so they'd recommend them with a deep intensity that I have never forgotten. I had zero interest. Mostly naked "empowered" female protags have never been my bag, but I always replied with something along the line of "I read a few issues, but not my bag. But I've talked to several women who love it," and that always made them happy. And the truth was, I HAD talked to several female regulars who loved it. I just didn't. (Although, shout-out to Tarot: WotBR for writing the greatest line of dialogue ever: "You have to get out of here! Your vagina is haunted!!")

The car salesman (hand to god) who LOVED Tony Stark and even had the special-cut goatee to prove it. Let me tell you, that fucker pulled it off like a champ. He also had his suits tailored and was just a very sweet, funny guy. Like, in the midst of the Civil War comics event, he and I had a sincere conversation about signing the accords (he was on Tony's side) versus not signing (I was on Cap's side), and in the end, we agreed that Mark Millar was not a great writer and that the event as a whole was a mess, but The Bendis one-shot where Tony talks to Steve's corpse is a fucking heartbreaker. He also picked up a couple of comics I recommended that he said, "I'm not sure it's my thing, but I like you," and they got added to his pull list the moment he finished the trades.

Every single woman who came in with a well-meaning boyfriend who loudly announced to me, "SHE AGREED TO TRY COMICS!"

Me: Cool. What are we starting with?

Guy: A MAJOR EVENT THAT ABSOLUTELY DOES NOT STAND UP ON ITS OWN WITHOUT READING A YEARS WORTH OF THREE DIFFERENT BOOKS.

Me: Oh, absolutely fucking not. Go to the back of the shop while I talk with her.

Guy: "...What? But she--"

Me: "Name me everything you need to read to understand EVENT."

Guy: HERE IS THE LIST.

Me: BACK OF THE SHOP.

He'd go to the back of the shop. I'd approach the friend/girlfriend/wife. "Hey, I'm Gayle. I'm sure he said it was an event you could pick up and understand, but he's blinded by his love for it. Tell me, what do you usually read? Sci-fi? Fantasy? Got a superhero you like from cartoons?"

She'd respond with details, and I'd narrow it down. "Oh, okay, so you're up for a group book and find the overall idea of the Green Lanterns interesting. This is "Recharge." It's the restart of the Green Lantern Corps as a whole. Very easy to jump in on, and if you have questions, you can ask that guy you know or check wikipedia."

"Oh, okay, you like fantasy and fairy tales. "Fables" is really popular for that. It's all the public domain fairy tales hiding in modern-day New York."

"Standalone stories you can just read as they are? Here's the original graphic novel section. They're all one and done. Or maybe two and done. The point is, they're very contained stories."

*I was using female pronouns and identifying as a woman at the time and as femme as I am now as an enby (femby)

#comics #i miss that job sometimes #but also i don't have to talk to assholes #and unfortunately we had our share