#I FINISHED THE SECOND ONE FOR DOC DID I SHOW YOU GUYS I CAN'T REMEMBER

[tobyisave]

the plot of "ethanol"

aka that Adamandi fanfiction I never finished last year (OTL) and companion to this drawing (x)! There were only a few pages (that I will never release) so instead here's what was going to happen, according to my old notes doc... it's mostly just Vincent angst I'm not gonna lie. I kinda stopped because I realized there was no plot at all and that's not how stories work

Also: I did not write adamandi. And it's been a *second* since I was Vincent. And cannot stress enough that even the finished parts of this are wildly unfinished. So make of this what you will kdlfdsjf

(tw for body horror, medical horror, suicide, self harm, others harm, vomit, you know the drill it's Adamandi)

CH1: "I love you, too"

Vincent wakes up in Hancock Infirmary, the medical center on Ardess campus. (It's incredibly sketchy that he's not in the local hospital instead -- especially since the Infirmary has been openly racist to him and Quincy before -- but evidently this is the best way to keep things under wraps.)

He has a traumatic brain injury (from fighting Beatrix), is probably a little drugged, and starts freaking out because he's in pain and everything looks super flat and fake...

But he sees his Phaethon award letter sitting on the nightstand and feels so relieved that he lets himself fall back asleep.

Later the doctor tells him "what happened" including a reference to Vincent’s suicide attempt and "stabbing his own eye" to which he's like my WHAT. He finally realizes he can only see out of one eye - he pokes his fingers into the "soft, swollen folds of meat" on his face (thanks past toby) and finds that the eye is completely gone.

Doc is like you might have amnesia? You also have a TBI. Also fill out this form to make sure you wont kill urself when we release you

Specifically, the form is like “How often in the past two weeks have you: Had trouble sleeping…. Had thoughts that you are a failure….. Wanted to hurt yourself….. Attempted suicide….” And because he only ticks the last one the final score is "1" and the doctor's like okay free to go! (this is totally anachronistic but i think its funny so it stays)

Doctor makes him call someone to help him get home.

For some reason he doesn’t want to call Quincy (he thinks bc he hurt Quincy really bad). He thinks over who else he could call – oh yes, that guy I’ve been hanging out with lately, Ambrose! Wait fuck…. For the first time he realizes that Ambrose is not here.

After phoning Quincy to pick him up (Q cries on the phone, V feels moved to but genuinely doesn't have the energy to cry or even say much - and they say I love you to each other, except its Weird and Uncomfortable this time), Vincent roots around in the medical waste bin and pockets his enucleated eye, which he's alarmed to find is bloody and kind of smashed to a pulp.

CH2: pretty peppermint green

(title from "asthma" by b/ulldog eyes)

Quincy shows up (btw they're they/them in this because I can) and Vincent remembers pretty much everything. They share a reluctant kiss --- after which Vincent is content to slip into the fantasy that things are back to normal --- and walk back to the dorm. It's lightly misting outside. On the way there, Vincent stops and kneels to vomit from his intense headache and nausea. Quincy tries to hold them/help them up after and it makes Vincent's heart race.

In Quincy's room, they lie in bed. Vincent is often the big spoon (lol) but he feels the eye in his front pocket squish against Quincy's back, so they switch for undisclosed reasons. Quincy keeps saying they're so glad Vincent is back and they love him so much. That strikes a terrible weird chord with Vincent, and he's just lying there and he can't see Quincy's face and he's practically pressed between them and the wall and he can't stop feeling like there's another guy in the room watching them both, and he's not sure if the knowledge that there isn't is comforting or scary, and he starts freaking out until he has to leave the room.

(Why that strikes a weird chord: Quincy kept dissing him until now, and now is lovebombing him? Is that because Vincent finally earned their respect academically or because Quincy is guilty or what? He can usually tell what Q's thinking but it's very opaque to him right now - either because of the TBI or because their history is so extreme. And what usually makes him feel calm and well - ie Quincy - is not working anymore).

Vincent goes downstairs and sleeps on the basement couch. He unlocks this memory -- or is it just an image he constructed to fill the gap? -- of Quincy holding him, the weapon still in their hands, those hands still bloody, their face twisted in a horrific expression he can't even describe.

CH3: 20 grams

(title - from "duck or ape" by roar - but references an old paper that claimed to experimentally calculate the weight of a soul by weighing a person before and after death - they were purportedly 20 grams lighter.)

In the morning, Vincent goes to his own dorm. His chair and desk and bedframe were all burned in the pyre, plus most of his paper and books, so there's just big square sun-stains everywhere and a lot of empty space.

He goes to his bottom shelf, where there's a few empty jars & cans & stolen lab glassware, and puts his old eye in an open beaker. There's a big jug of ethanol under his bed and he pours some in to preserve it. (This has been making the room smell awful by the way). The beaker goes on the shelf next to an array of other trophies (aka student organs) which he'd left as a sort of last display of genius that the world could find after he killed himself.

He goes to the mirror and is unnerved to realize that he's been fully bathed and his hair has been brushed out. He checks all the bruises on his body and tries to recount where he got each one - most are from previous murders and some are from the pyre. Even though he literally just got out of the hospital where he lost an eye, he looks a lot better than in the past few weeks just because he finally got some fucking sleep and idk they probably had him on an IV or something

After that he looks at his eye again with morbid fascination --- he's seen this exact wound on corpses before, but never seen it healing.

He considers taking out his surgery kit and trying to fix the eye. There's this question of if he could repair his damaged eye and see through it again, would he be able to see Quincy the same as he used to? His right eye never saw Quincy betray him. He wonders if Quincy burned themself again after last night - the first time he remembers that knowledge - and tears come even though he's still just standing there absently.

Anyway when he goes back to the shelf to look at his old eye, he frowns at how fucked up it is, and pulls down the bottle next to it instead. In the bottle are two blue eyes. He pulls one out in front of the mirror and presses it into his socket, which is rapidly filling with fluid; it overflows out of the socket as he pushes the eye in. This is agonizing because he's putting an eye covered in ethanol into an open wound.

He stands there looking at himself, still in his jacket, with one finger up to hold the eye in place, for like 10 straight minutes. He recounts all the unbelievable things he's done this year, the way people looked at him a bit differently as he started to get his act together. The way they looked each time he wound up the killing blow. Ambrose's eye still looks completely out of place on Vincent's face.

Everything else that happens!

Quincy & Beatrix

Beatrix was also going to be at the hospital for back up in CH2 apparently. so pretend that happened

Quincy finds out about the preserved eye (idk how lol) and confesses to Beatrix that it creeps them the fuck out. Beatrix assumes it's because it represents Quincy's guilt and tries to reassure them. That makes Quincy feel worse because to be honest they just thought it was disgusting and scary to see their lover's disembodied eye looking back at them from the bottom of a beaker.

Graduation

The three of them are planning on going together and walking through the Ardess Randolphitz graduation gate etc etc. Except all of them are kind of having a trauma reaction to the idea of going to graduation. Less so Quincy, because they missed the pyre graduation speech, but yeah. Nobody likes that.

Vincent thinks about skipping graduation but then checks his mailbox and realizes he failed two of his classes this semester. AN: In my notes it said this: the letter says he has to take an extra course to graduate - he literally cant afford that (used to have a scholarship but obviously broke the contract) so he can't graduate. His family is in China and he cant stomach the thought of explaining everything to them.

(Right before the Pyre scene he mailed a copy of the newspaper accusing him of murder to his family because he wanted his mom to see what he did (/pos??). Then he has this sudden realization that his mom has no idea who Vincent Aurelius Lin is. Not really that relevant to this fic, but I actually consider this canon to the show because I sat backstage and did it every night with the newspaper prop lmao)

Anyway I don't think the graduation logic checks out anymore, I mean he won the Phaethon so he kind of has to graduate lol. Oh well.

Quincy & Vincent

Honestly... I didn't write a lot about what happens with them because one of the central concepts of the fic is that they break up! And unfortunately I seem to have stopped working on this around the time that Quincy reentered the story, so I have no idea what that actual arc was going to look like. Upon revisiting this story though, it's pretty obvious I was just using everyone else as a sounding board for Vincent angst anyway... so that kind of sucks lol

Room situation

Vincent... doesn't have a bed... so he sleeps in the basement of Stutton (?) again. Unlike the months leading up to the pyre where he was completely sleepless (aka restless and unable to stop mentally planning each of his murder schemes and the things he would say about what inspired them after it all came out), he falls asleep really easily now (...because of the TBI). Beatrix encounters him there and heres a quote from my google doc:

B: oh my god. don't tell me you lost your keys again 

V: no. i just… dont have anywhere to go

B: … do you want my room key? like ill have to kick you out in the morning but me and portia are pulling an all nighter right now 

V: thats not what i meant. (licks lips) beatrix im not graduating

(AN: damn.... where CAN he run........)

B brings V to news room where portia and her are working, planning to use portia as the emotional support dog. this works on portia's end but vincent is not very reactive.

Beatrix is renting a house for the summer and invites Lin to sleep on her couch (upon learning that he planned to squat or get back with Quincy to survive)

Summer: Bea's house

P: Bea, he's a murderer! You're going to let him live in your house? Alone?!

B: Harper, just.... look at him

*The most hollow dead eyed broken toy of a Vincent you've ever seen*

^^^^ this is like the establishing quote of the fic, just vincent looking like that is the whole concept actually. Obviously thats also what I tried to capture with the drawing too

While shes at work he gets very understimulated and he wants to Plot Evilly and hes really really frustrated that he cant (because that project is over and he can't focus)

he used to journal/stalk every day but "lately... i cant even remember whats been happening lately." he has headaches constantly and hasnt written in weeks 

he starts chain smoking on her couch (AN: interesting choice sldjfsdkfjdsfls)

she gets back and is upset about this (the smell and he used like all of her cigs)

→ a) he realizes he cant really feel remorse over this (only intellectually he understands it and goes outside)

-> b) he's confused to see her refuse a cig from him. okay bea thats new what are you pulling here

in her office, bea (feeling like she has adopted a stray dog) chews gum while reading a terrified letter from quincy who is about to move 

(AN maybe anachronistic that bea would try to quit smoking at this time?? im not sure.)

(Also - not sure if this ever came up explicitly, but in our production, Beatrix is the one who first offered Vincent the occasional smoke back in the day, and instead of ever buying any he mostly grubbed them off her (which you can maybe see at the beginning of little more in love). During the course of canon events he gets more addicted - and if i remember correctly, he also started going through withdrawal at some point, but I dont remember why he quit - I think because he stopped seeing Bea around so he kind of just stopped?? - if anything I guess it's symbolic of Bea kind of setting him up to murder and then disappearing from his life for months. The cigarettes weren't actually in the original script at all.)

vincent paces then goes to the drugstore

while hes there he uses the restroom to stare into his eye hole yada yada

(prior to going to restroom hes dubious about entering mens but its single stall anyway)

buys like a shit ton of cigarettes and pain medicine (which was probably like coke back then idk) and also candy

(cigs are for beatrix because he just wants to be loved…)

Phaethon did not give him any money at all by the way. Maybe this is the part where he should go huh I need a job even if I can't be a doctor

IDK where to put this but also - at some point Vincent finds a horrifying drawing of Quincy killing him, and Bea is like you obviously drew that look at it it's in your style. and he can't remember drawing it but not that he looks around he sees he's actually been drawing little pieces of it everywhere

Beatrix's apology

*giant overwrought Beatrix speech here*

V: (trying to be normal about it) i uh i did try to kill you

B: (also playing cool) yeah sure, so did my dad, join the club 

V: sorry?

B: the point is, lin, you were having an episode, and instead of helping you see that i pretty much handed you a bat, spun you around a couple times, and sent you on your merry way 

(shaky breath, beat- V feels weird about being described so passively)

Anecdote I wrote last year that I genuinely don't understand anymore OTL

Vincent likes to read possibly?

B: you can read?!

V: (swallows a lump… then sarcastically) oh yeah quincy finally taught me how

(^^^ realize they always bitch at each other by default - he wonders if she would be nicer if he was nicer but probably not)

^^^^^ the book sucks anyway shes like ok go to the bookstore CUE QUINCY

(“ok read your own fucking book” “i can’t” “why” “i burned them”)

AN: like QUINCY WOULD NOT FUCKING SAY THAT jdslkfjdsf who is that what's happening what's going ON

...I think it's Beatrix actually? idk man idk

but OMG im suddenly obsessed with the idea that this is all a bunch of absolutely insane buildup to an exes-to-lovers vincent coffee shop / quincy bookstore au dlskfjdslkfjdslkjfsjfjdsklfsdf

BONUS NOTES

V’s lack of empathy - i think he cant understand other peoples feelings very well? He definitely at the least has to imagine them through incidents in his own life to picture how they feel 

People pleasing … & possibly its conflict with the above 

Bring back suave vincent :(  (AN: I failed)

Masculinity problems…? 

Realization that all of his rapports (ie with ambrose and beatrix) are facetious and aggressive. And also baggage with quincy accidentally dissing him all the time. Who will be nice to him :( 

Maybe this: 

V: "i think i might be autistic"

B: "i dont think youre autistic i think youre a sociopath"

V: "i think i might be both"

^^^^ except thats also pretty anachronistic and kind of silly but i do what i want

ambrose ghost was a representation of his hyperfixation on murder (AN: absolutely insane take. what the fuck)

he probably gets lost in drawing now if he can stomach doing anything

accidental psychiatrist beatrix bc shes really good at cracking people open 

themes:

breakup 

realization that quincy didnt value him while he was innocent which fucked the relationship but V has trouble justifying it bc now he cant value himself 

difficulty feeling remorse for what he did 

→ realize you arent accountable for how you feel just for what you do 

can you love someone without empathy? (yes)

(stems from asking if q was ever in danger of murder -- obviously not!)

realization that v is actually good at something (art) 

Respectability politics - beatrix is trying to make girls/latinas look good. vincent is still in the headspace that hes inferior but starts to think about how frosh vinc would have felt about him now (AN i dont know what i meant by this ldjsf)

becoming ambrose was in a way his idea of proving himself in the world. being gnc and failing his classes was just bc he couldnt "do better" 

RECURRING: pulls open his eyelids and tries to see into his brain through the hole 

addiction (AN: thats it thats all i said its the word "addiction" sljdkfdslkf. I can only assume because for a while i had an interpretation of vincent as becoming an adrenaline junkie after his first murder - plus then bea got him addicted to cigs and murder)

other char breakthroughs 

Bea - yo vincent actually did some fucked up shit

Quincy - living with yourself. realizing you can never reconcile with some people. 

Portia - hold on… Bea actually did some fucked up shit...

(sorry this is MASSIVE i thought it would be like 7 bullets)

AND ON THAT NOTE.... Yeah that's what the fic was going to be about. Hope that was fun??? And shoutout to @ceaslesswatcherwhatistboyswag for asking about the abandoned fic and inadvertently prompting this whole post :P

Also. by god please do not take any of this as canon or word of god (except perhaps the newspaper thing...) i beg of you... these are just the post-show ramblings of a man newly deprived of the ability to spend 5 hours a week pretending to be a fruity little murderer. very fun diving back into that time to compile this though 🫀

#adamandi #adamandi musical #vincent aurelius lin #vincent lin #beatrix valeria campbell #beatrix campbell #quincy cynthius martin #quincy martin #ambrose isnt important enough to be tagged sorry #quincy is more of a quincy shaped hole in vincent than a guy in this too #my posts #writing

[galactic-pirates]

Strange New Worlds - Episode 1

Paramount+ launched in the UK yesterday. As a side note I have a small amount of amusement as whomever designed the Disney+ website, did this one - they are identical! Anyway, the moment I finished the episode I had to login to raid so didn't have time to ramble. Let's see if I can remember stuff I thought!

So it's been 3 months since Discovery season 2 finale and Pike sure can grow a long beard in that time. I don't quite know what the logic was for showing that woman at Pike's cabin (establishing Pike is a ladies man??) especially as that's a recognisable actress and according to IMDB that's her only appearance in the show. Very strange (no pun intended haha).

Anyway, moving on. T'Pring has some major thirst for Spock. Although I confess my initial thought was why were they kissing with their mouths? I guess that was for the benefit of the casual audience as it would have made more sense as Vulcan's for their hands to be being all sensual. I read some dates and her "I won't chase you across the galaxy" kinda makes sense as isn't it like 8 years or something until the Kirk vs Spock pon farr fight?

Let's see what is next. Oh! I enjoyed the fact that Enterprise is getting patched up from the battle, all the crew are on leave unless needed, and Number One was like "nope, give me another ship I'm bored" as I got some major Eve Baird vibes from that. I watched the Librarians show premiere AGAIN the other day (I love it so much) and Eve's all "but sir what am I supposed to do for a month??" so yes very good.

Ortegas on the conn is something I want to see more of, with her dry wit of "why is it always when I'm in the Captain's chair" plus it's just the humour as well of the Captain, the first officer, Spock (who's basically second in command) just all on the away mission. Like yes lets just send our entire leadership down and hope nothing bad happens!

Oh I adored the humour and the banter between Chapel and M'Benga when they were chasing that guy around the ship. I also loved the little peek at Uhura's character. The dude was freaking out and she just chatted to him about something from his planet and totally put him at ease. Chapel practically didn't have to sedate him to be honest.

I haven't got a satisfactory answer off google and so I remain confused. Of all the characters (apart from Pike and Spock) then La'an was the one that got the most fleshing out this episode, so I'm guessing her backstory is going to be important to the seasons overall plot. However, I still don't get whether she's related to Khan or related to the scientists that created Data, or is it both? I watched Picard and when they went back to 2024 the Soong then pulled out a file which seemed to hint at Khan.

Speaking of 2024 I had a "can't quite believe they went there" moment when they showed footage with 'audit the vote' as a precursor to the second civil war and then world war three. To be honest that made me more scared than anything because it feels a bit too possible. While I would like the Star Trek future, I definitely don't want the nuclear armageddon they endured to get there.

Ok back to Pike and his soul-searching. Every now and then I find random bits on my hard drive and apparently after season 2 of Discovery I started a Pike fanfic. I had a "I don't remember this place" when I found the doc but it's a thing. Interestingly I had Pike as a prisoner in jail having done something very reckless because "if I know how I'm going to die, then my day is not today and nothing really matters" and then I was building up to basically Number One sitting on him and reaffirming what Cornwell said which is "you can't think like that, because knowing your fate doesn't give you God-like powers to just live through anything" as a bit of a reality check. This time it was a bit more subtle and La'an and Spock provided the nudge but it seems Pike got to a similar sort of headspace in the end.

There wasn't really enough Number One in this for me, and with her being the focus of the rescue mission (and then her injury) she didn't get to do anything badass either. However, I have seen some gifs and I know her moment to shine will come.

I liked the thing about consequences. I dislike that Starfleet command are idiots that don't understand them but I'm glad that Pike did. General Order Number One (aka the Prime Directive) shouldn't be a license not to clean up their own messes. As Pike said they had already interfered, so they needed to try and make it as positive as possible. The warp weapon wasn't part of their 'natural development' so letting them blow themselves up with it shouldn't be either. So good for Pike, but a bad look for Starfleet.

This was a solid episode. It had a good plot. There was some good character stuff, some humour. I wanted more but then I always do. I think they could have cut a few minutes of Pike and Spock at the start and given them to the other crew, but I'm hoping that Ortegas and the others will get their time in future episodes. That's the problem with decent ensemble casts, they'd need to double episode lengths to really give them the time they deserve.

Oh! One last thing I actually googled this after to make sure I hadn't misheard and I hadn't - Shuttle 'Stamets' I screamed because what a cool reference! I love Stamets and it was a nice nod. I mean as far as most people are concerned Discovery either never existed or was destroyed (I'm a bit fuzzy on which given the spore drive and wiping that from the records). But either way a little memorial to Stamets who is probably thought dead was nice.

I'm going to give this I think a 4/5 rating. That might go up or down on rewatches as sometimes context makes me feel differently about stuff. However, generally it was as positive and awesome as I'd hoped! Thus far I'm not disappointed and as I've kinda over-hyped this in my head, I am so relieved about that!

#star trek: strange new worlds

[keyofjetwolf]

Okay, that explains the homework part and the double pointed needles part, but I still demand answers about the RIDONKULOUS length of your needles. WHO ARE THESE MITTENS FOR AMI

#JW watches PGSM #pgsm ep 19 #i was also going to make a comment about her massive jump in skill level #but it's ami so okay fine #anyway the conclusion to all this is i really want to go work on my socks #I FINISHED THE SECOND ONE FOR DOC DID I SHOW YOU GUYS I CAN'T REMEMBER #now i'm making a pair for meeee

[butteraway]

when time runs out | iv

⋆ summary:  A young girl has fallen deeply ill with an unknown disease in her, so with all her free time spent in an empty hospital room, she spends it online playing video games. That's until she meets her cousins friends, one spiking her interest with his extremely vulgare language.

pairing: bakugou katsuki x reader

word count: 2.5k

warnings: none

authors note: I wanna say im so sorry for lying to yall about that extra chapter KJDFFF😭😭 ALSO @chibiiichann I APOLOGIZE FOR SPAMMING YOU WHENEVER I REPLIED TO YOU💀 A DIFFERENT ACC WOULD POP UP BUT THE FIRST CHAPTER WAS AN INTRODUCTORY CHAPTER EXPLAINING THE OC'S CONDITION JFJDJD

"HAHA! I GOTCHU NOW LOSER!" Y/N smashed the buttons on her controller, basically on the edge of her bed. A grunt was heard through her headphones, then a loud bang with laughing in the background. Y/N felt her stomach turn at the sound of this, feeling a little left out, but smiled nonetheless.

"HOW'D YOU EVEN DO THAT?!! YOU’RE DOING SOME HACKING MY GUY!" Denki yelled through the laughing in the background, hands pulling at his hair. He seriously couldn't believe it!

"I'm not! I just wanted to show Sero I'm way better at this game than you are. And turns out I am!" Y/N let out a loud laugh, falling backwards onto her pillow. After finding out that 'Tape Dispenser' went to her cousin’s school by hearing his voice in the back of Denki's room, she got to learn more about this Sero dude. She already knew this after their last game a few nights ago, but he was so chill. It was still insane for her to find out that her cousin and online friend went to the same hero school. The coincidences in this world. Y/N thought as she grinned.

"It's okay Kaminari, you still lasted a long time! But you did get brutally beat by Y/N at the end though..." Sero said, trying to raise Denki's low spirits, but only succeeded in making him more miserable. Rustling was heard through Y/N's headphones, making it obvious that there was movement happening.

"You don't understand Sero! THIS IS THE ONLY GAME I COULD FULLY BEAT THIS GIRL IN!" Denki shook Sero by the shoulders, quickly doing the action. Cackling was heard through the speakers while the girl wiped a tear from her eye. Sero laughed along, as he was pushed to the ground by Denki. His arms were crossed as he looked away, upset that Y/N managed to finally beat him in every game they played.

"It's okay Denki, not everyone can be as good as me!" Y/N exclaimed, getting up from her bed to start taping specific parts of her room. Kaminari continued to complain about his defeat to Sero, who only chuckled in response. As she finished taping the bottom of the walls, Y/N sat back on her bed, sighing in content.

"So, how are you? I'm doing terribly after being utterly destroyed by you, by the way." Said Kaminari, opening his water bottle and taking large gulps from it. Y/N felt her face light up as she remembered to tell Kaminari of her future activity.

"Bro, you won't believe this! So, basically, they're actually letting me paint my room! All by myself! How fricking cool is that?!" The girl laughed out loud, jumping on her bed in excitement. Kaminari's eyes widen, in surprise and slight fear, sitting up and taking in the new information.

"Wait, really? But isn't that like extremely dangerous? Cuz of the chemicals and what not??" He tried his best to keep his voice leveled, not noticing Sero look at him weirdly. That guy had no idea what was happening.

"Well, they said that they were gonna do something to the paint so it won't hurt me or anything, I don't know what, but-" Y/N was cut off by an extremely confused Sero. "Wait wait wait, hold on. I don't understand what's happening. How can paint harm you? Besides like...eating it. And what do you mean by 'finally getting to paint your room?’ Silence was the only answer he got. Sero gulped in embarrassment, thinking he asked a really personal question.

"Um, it's nothing du-" A loud 'shhhhhhh' was heard from Y/N, who let out a shaky breath. She never really told anyone, it's not like she could either way, being confined in the hospital room for a long time. She pushed a loose strand of her away from her face, preparing herself to tell Sero.

"Well, the reason is because I basically live in a hospital. I can't go outside, or have 'unpurified' air, as the doctors like to say, meaning my interactions with people and the outside world are extremely limited. That means anything that's not cleared of dust and germs, I guess, can be extremely harmful for me? As pathetic as it sounds, it could actually kill me, haha." It was quiet as Sero took in the information, a large wave of emotions crashing on him. A person shouldn't have to be locked in a room for the rest of their life. Especially someone who is such a sweet person like Y/N.

"I-I'm so sorry to hear that Y/N. If you don't mind me asking, how...how long have you been in the hospital?" The young girl answered with a quick 'Two years', and that's when Sero felt his stomach twist uncomfortably. Kaminari abruptly got up and headed towards his door.

"I'm gonna get something to eat, you want something dude?" Kaminari's voice was low and trembling. It didn't take a genius to see that the blonde haired boy needed some time alone. "No thanks." Kaminari let out a hum, quickly exiting his room and closing the door shut. Sero heard the loud sniffs that slowly faded away, as he hung his head down.

"Hey, you good Sero? That was probably a lot to take in, sorry." Sero shook his head, letting a sad smile adorn his face. "It's fine, really. I actually feel honored that you're comfortable telling me. Feels like we're getting closer, to be honest." He smiled happily, meaning every word he said. And Y/N knew that. "Ha, we are though!" The air was tense, despite the two teenagers being in different rooms.

Y/N went to clear her throat, but was interrupted when a light knock echoed throughout her room. "Someone there?" Sero asked, noticing her silence and hearing the very faint knocking.

"Yeah, um Sero, I'll call you guys later, my doctor wants to talk." Y/N quickly replied, seeing Receen open the door and walk in with his thin suit on. Sero let out an ok and they hang up. Y/N finally took in how the doctor looked, noticeable eye bags under his blue-grey eyes, from lack of sleep. His dark hair slightly tousled, probably from putting on the protective helmet that came with the suit, and a small smile on his welcoming face. And a large container of paint in his left hand. Her eyes immediately lit up.

"What’s up doc? I see you have something in your hand, can I see it closer?" The small girl asked, getting up and making a grabbing motion with her hands. Receen chuckled, lifting up the paint for Y/N to see. Even if he were to hand her the container, she wouldn't be able to hold. She was just too weak. Said girl let out a high pitch 'OOOO ' in excitement.

"I'm not sure if you wanted more, but we managed to get you your favorite color! This should be enough to paint the room, you can even put a second layer if you want." Receen walked over to where Y/N put all the equipment, opening the container of paint. And with a low grunt from him, the lid was opened. Y/N watched with amazement as the doctor poured the soft looking paint into a tray. She picked up a roller near her, and drowned the roller in paint, the white fluff getting covered in color.

The two began painting, Y/N's hand shaking every now and then. After painting half the room, they sat in silence, resting for a while. Receen seemed to be tense, though Y/N didn't seem to notice since she was too happy to speak. Receen let out a breath, breaking the silence, causing Y/N to look towards him.

"I didn't get to ask you how you were, did I Y/N? How are you?" Said girl let a beaming smile spread on her face, causing Receen to slightly squint his eyes from the intensity of her smile. "Honestly, I haven't felt this happy in a very long time! I actually still can't believe you guys really let me do this! Thank you so much!"

Receen gave her a small smile while rubbing the back of his neck. "It's not a problem, you could’ve asked sooner and gotten this done a long time ago. You've been here for two years, so please don't be afraid of asking for things!" At the mention of her time spent in the hospital, Y/N lowered her head, causing Receen to wince. Well, might as well tell her. The doctor cleared his throat and began to talk.

"Y/N, as you are aware, I, along with many other doctors and scientists, have been working hard for you to be able to go outside again. To see your family, hug them, be a normal kid again." There was a pause and that alone caught Y/N's attention. She looked up at him. "There is a way for you to finally do that, Y/N."

Shock evident on the girl's face, she abruptly stood up and faced the doctor. There was absolutely no way anyone could have found a cure for someone like her. Someone who had an incurable sickness. Someone who was too sick, to even have medicine. He's lying. Y/N narrowed her eyes at the grown man sitting in front of her.

"With all due respect Doctor, I highly doubt that ​​that's possible. Cuz, y'know? I basically have an incurable disease? I mean, like, even if you did manage to find a way for me to leave this place, how do you even know it's gonna work? I don't think you've tried this medicine since no one in recorded hospital documents in the past have had people like that checked in before-"

"How do you even know that?"

"-so how do you truly know it'll work?" Y/N quickly finished, completely ignoring his statement. Receen sighed, scratching his head. "We live in a world where quirks exist. Would you believe me if I told you centuries ago that the human race would evolve to have super powers? It's kind of like that, but not really." Y/N eyed him suspiciously. He's avoiding the question.

Receen looked straight at the girl standing in front of him. He felt slightly intimidated by her piercing gaze. He quickly looked away and got up, towering over Y/N's small frame. Then he smiled. "Y/N, you are a very sweet girl, no doubt about it. I know how much you want to get out of here, and I want to help you. My team has created this almost perfect pill, especially suited for your sickness. I know you're very cautious, just like your mother, but I can only reassure you, that these are your ticket out of here." He pulled out the bottle from his protective suit, shaking it in front of [Y/N].

Her eyes widened as she restrained herself from reaching out and snatching the bottle. Her eyes slightly narrowed as she pulled herself together. Crossing her arms and slightly tilting her upwards, she looked into the doctor's bright eyes. "There's always a catch when it comes to these kinds of things. What's the price if I take these? My lifespan shortens, I only have five hours to go outside, it drugs me or something?"

"I'm hurt you think I would just give you these without setting out the consequences." There was a slight glint in his eyes before it quickly disappeared. Y/N hummed, urging the doctor to continue.

"There are exactly 15 pills in here. And consuming just one of these bad boys right here, would allow you to go outside! Though, time is very important when taking these. You'd have 10 hours before the pills effects wear off. These would dull your hypersensitive senses, but not to a point where you can't feel, smell or do anything. No no, it'd just be like how you were before. You'd feel slightly dizzy and be a little itchy, but besides that, nothing too extreme. It just dulls all your body senses down." Receen gave Y/N a small smile. She looked a little weary, unsure if what he said was true. She looked at the bottle then back to Doctor Receen, fingers twitching every now and then. Breathing in and letting it out slowly, Y/N stared straight into the doctor's eyes.

If I take these, I can finally go out. I can hug mom and dad, I can be around Denki again. I can meet Sero face to face and feel the grass again! I can be... happy again. But if these don't actually work, I'd immediately die on the spot. I'd be able to go outside though. Aah, so much going outside, I can meet new people! I don't wanna spend the rest of my days slowly rotting away in here anyway.

"So Y/N, are you going to take them or let all our time go to waste?"

Sero looked at his hands solemnly, thinking about what Y/N had told him. He swallowed the lump forming in his throat, then lightly slapped his cheeks to stop the wave of emotions from spilling out.

"Yo, you good dude? It's not everyday I see someone willingly slapping themselves." Kaminari chuckled, walking in and closing the door with his foot as he carried a soda bottle and a bag of chips towards the boy sitting on his bed. Sero grinned, feeling the sadness of everything wash away.

"Yeah, I'm perfectly fine. But what about you though? After we had that conversation, you were, well, umm... kind of out of it." Kaminari froze, letting a dejected smile appear on his face. Dragging a hand down his face, he let out a sorrowful laugh.

"She's my best friend. My first real, true friend. She's basically my sister at this point. So when she collapsed that day, I felt my whole world crashing down. She is the sweetest, the most kindest, person I have ever met. She never let me degrade myself, alway cheered me up when people called me stupid." Kaminari rubbed his eyes, opening the bag of chips and plopping one of them into his mouth.

"It hasn't been the same ever since she left, her parents barely come over anymore, and they're always so sad whenever I see them. My own parents aren't the same either, they treated her like their own daughter. I can't even begin to imagine how Y/N feels about this all. She was the top in our grade, highest scores in our test. No one could compare to her. M-my heart breaks for her. She lost everything." Sero let that information sink in, thinking about how she was before. He smiled as he saw Kaminari's shoulders begin to shake. He cares so much for her.

He put his hand on his shoulder, watching Kaminari slowly lift his face towards him. "Come here you emotional ball of feelings." Being the friendly guy he is, Sero gave the sobbing boy a hug, cuz hugs fix everything.

"No homo though bro." And with that, they both laughed out loud, continuing their bro day.

#bakugou katsuki #bakugou #bakugou x reader #bakugou katuski x reader #mha #bnha #mha angst #bnha fluff #bnha x reader #fanfic

[guigz1-coldwar]

'A helping hand' : new chapter of "Redemption of a Spirit in a Cold War' is out !

'A helping hand'

Chapter Summary :

After finding Park again, Bell awake in the safehouse she didn't step for 3 years.....

To read it on AO3, click here !

Words : +2800

-----------------------------------

My left hand was hurting so bad, like if it was burned by something very hot as I slowly opened my eyes laid down on a bed in a bedroom looking like a Perseus safehouse in the middle of nowhere. My vision were troubled and my right eye were covered by an bandage. I tried to blink a lot of times but that vision would never succeed to get better at all. I wasn't able to find out exactly what happened to me but it was clearly something bad, according at my current state.

I decided to slowly redress myself on the bed, avoiding to hurt my left hand and myself by doing that. It was at this moment, my vision was slowly getting better for my left eye but since my right eye was under an bandage, I was only able to look at my left. I moved my fingers of my right hand, checking if it was okay and that went pretty good but my left hand....it was looking paralysed....and in a bandage.

I started to scratch the back of my head with my only available hand wanting to know if I ha d nothing else at my back when I was surprised by an feminine voice in the room.

"Yirina." The voice was coming from my right and I moved my head, obliged, to look at who was it "By god, finally, you're awake !" I could see Freya, getting next to me.

"Fre-...Freya." I said, my voice was sounding so low and cracked

"It's okay, we're safe." She put her hand on top of my right one, sitting next to me with her chair

"Where are we ?" I asked with the same voice as before

"Out of the city." She replied, looking around the room "Back at the safehouse and like I told you, safe."

"What....what happened ?" I put my eyes on my left hand that I raise to show her

"The explosion knocked you out when you try to approach the rigged car." She exclaimed with an serious tone before looking at my left hand "Your left hand was severely burned but the doc said that he was able to save it."  The little grin she had on her face disappeared as she looked at me "However, its seems that you will have to keep a mark on it : he said that you can begin to have some troubles sometimes with your hand but it will be minimal."

"And my right eye ?" I said, worried.

"The doc said that you were blinded by the explosion. It will take days for that eye's vision to get back to normal." She then smile "You got lucky to have your left eye closed at the time of the explosion."

"Luck never had something for me." I muttered in a low voice

"Well, there's a beginning for everything." She laughed and I was feeling obliged to do it but I couldn't do it anymore as my fake smile go away and she saw it "What's wrong ?"

"Did.....did the person make it out ?" I asked

"No, why he would be ?" She replied, concerned by it. "Why are you getting worried about that guy by the sudden ?" She added.

"Because he was innocent, Freya !" I almost yelled but my voice preferred to keep it low. "He was an good man."

"That's why you decided to stop him to enter that car ?" She asked, shooking her head while talking. I nodded,

"I tried to save him but then......" Suddenly, the door of the room open brutally, revealing an man, holding an green hood in his right hand. He wasn't looking so happy,

"Hope that you got an explanation, lady." The man said, slamming the door behind him "Ain't gonna like it anyway." He added, sniffing while looking at me.

"Stone, what a surprise !" I tried to joke but I shouldn't try to do that right now.....don't be stupid, Yiri.

"You almost got yourself killed." Stone shouted, getting his hands on the bed "The explosives....."

"I told you to abort the mission but you decided to do it anyway." I almost yelled again, looking at him furiously with my only eye. "You're the one who almost killed me."

"Perseus was clear : that man was supposed to die, end of the story." He reinforced his fists on the bed, looking enraged in the inside.

"And my orders were to stop that operation !" I redressed myself on the bed well, watching to not getting hurt myself. "He was only a good innocent man, damnit."

"Yirina, you should calm yourself down." Freya leaned, putting my hand on my right shoulder.

"I can't." I looked at Freya, clenching my only available fist "I failed to protect someone that didn't deserved to die because of someone so blinded by his ideas."

"Watch your mouth closely, minger !" Stone almost yelled before Freya start to look at him.

"Stone." She looked at him with deadly eyes "Better for you to get out of that room before I start to beat you up." She then pointed the door to him "Don't make me do that because your little SAS training will not help you at all."

He looked at us both for a few seconds before taking a breath. Then, he started to slowly walk in anger towards the door "A fucking 'innocent', my ass." He scoffed before opening the door and walking out and slamming the door loudly, leaving me and Freya alone.

"You shouldn't blame yourself for that, you know ?" She looked back at me, with some pleading eyes.

"I don't know." I started to reply "I can't forgive myself and I can't forget that date now, Freya." I added before she put her both hands around my right one, trying to recomfort myself.

"It's gonna be okay, Yiri." She smiled at me as she decided to get her hand on my left cheek, giving me a small grin on my face,

"I will stay by your side 'i noen anledninger'"

It was my first memory I had back since I returned at Park's side and it was looking so troubling....focused on a operation that didn't end well for me by looking at myself. Having my left hand wrapped in a bandage and losing temporary my right eye's vision wasn't the sign of a operation that went very good. Been days that I didn't have any memories back with Freya inside, I never actually have a simple memory back during my travel inside Poland and it was strange to see her again in my dreams after all these days.

This night, I felt that I had a good sleep and I think that Park's presence helped this night to be perfect for me. When I woke up, I realized that I was under some blankets and I was feeling undressed from some of my clothes. That was weird because I didn't remove a thing from me and....Park wasn't there in the bed with me. I thought that I was going to panick until I found a note on the nightstand explaining to me that it was her who put me well in the bed and get me more comfortable by removing my clothes.

She then finished the note by saying that she was at her desk, working and that she decided to give me some clothes of her for me, guessing that I never had the chances to change clothes in days before letting a little 'love you' at the end of the note. Thanks for it, I could feel more relieved as I thought that I was alone again. I checked the watch still around my left wrist and it was almost soon. At this moment, I could see the burn mark on my left hand on both sides of it. It was minimal like Freya said but still visible after all these years.

I was remembering now why I was hiding my hands with gloves everytime even back in my memories. Once I cleared my mind, I decided to get up from the bed, ready to go join Park at work. I put on the clothes she gave me, giving me a good feeling after spending all my previous days with russian-style clothes on me. At the moment I was finished dressing up, I looked myself in the mirror, I wasn't believing that I was wearing Park's clothes at all but it was so nice....and those clothes, damn.....they have her perfect smell.

I smiled at lot about that and then, I was on my way to leave the dorm of the safehouse, walking to get to the main room of it, taking in my way my backpack. When I step inside of the main room, I breathed by looking around me. Yesterday, I wasn't very focused on the room but more on Park herself and now I was stunned to see that nothing big has changed inside the safehouse except the dashboard.....more filled with intels than before even if the old intels back in the day were removed.

"Yirina." I hear Park from her desk calling me out as I was looking at the dashboard, I smiled when I saw her.

"Hey, Park." I first said before starting to walk at her desk "It's good to see you."

"I know that you will say that." She grinned before pointing to me a chair "Take a seat, I'll give you a coffee and something to eat."

"Park.." I started, taking a seat at the chair she pointed to me "I know where the fridge AND the coffee machine are." I scoffed before she get up from her chair as well, rolling her eyes at me.

"Let me do it." She told me as she started to walk away to get to the fridge to have something for me before she walked to prepare a coffee.

"Thanks....for the clothes." I added to her, loudly

"I thought that you never had the chances to change clothes, it was better for you !" She guessed right....damn it, she see in my head. After at least 30 seconds, she came back at me, giving me an coffee and sort of a cake that I took in hands before she got back to her seat. "So, how was your night ?" She asked, fully seated

"Pretty well." I replied, taking a sip from the coffee "With you at my side, I know that I can sleep well." I added with an big smile

"I can say that it was one of the night I can remember well in three years." She looked at me  with lovely eyes "I missed you so much."

"I'm sorry." I excused myself,getting in a second bad for myself before taking a bit on the cake. "I'm....well, it's not my fault if Adler shot me in the head and left me in a coma but even....I'm sorry." I looked away for just a second when I could feel her hand getting on top of mine

"I'm the one to be sorry, Yirina." She started, biting her lips "I should have never followed Adler into brainwashing you and you need to know that I will do my best to help you....and stay with you."  She grinned a little at me.

"It's okay, I....I thank you for your love for me, I....."

"Yes but I feel that I need more than just giving you love, I want to help you more than that." She cut me straight, still feeling sorry

"You want to help me find out who I am ?" I asked, she nodded

"I'm going to stay by your side at every moment." She repeated again, taking a breath before looking at my backpack I had at my feets "You said that you were writing the memories on a book, right ?" She asked, looking at it

"Oh, yeah." I exclaimed, getting the book out of the bag "Can you give me a pen ? I need to write down something because I had some memories back this night."  She gave me a pen at her side as I started writing down the two memories I had : my.....first kiss with Park and that memory with Freya and that Stone from the SAS. Once I was done, I decided it was better to let her give it a look.

"Thanks." She said as I handed her the book and then, she start to read the multiples memories and I was worried about how she will see me "Zasha Smirnov, you talked of them very good, I see." She gave me a good look before continuing "Freya Helvig.....hmm, I heard of her, NIS agent, right ?"

"Yes, she was my 'sister'" I mimicked with my fingers, meaning that Freya wasn't an real one "Both raised by Perseus himself during our lives." At this, her eyes went wide "He's not my father, I lost....my parents at four years old." I preferred to reassure her as I didn't write down that on the book before I took my records file off the backpack and put it on the desk "Found this at Belikov's place."

"Your file." She put the book down, still open as she take a look at my file "Been 3 years that I didn't see it." She saw my face, thinking that I thought that she always knew of my real name "I never had the chances to come back to Moscow to retrieve this and unfortunately, I forgot this and your name too."

"It's okay." I smiled, drinking my coffee as she focused back on the book, leaving the file back on the desk. For the following moments, I could see a smile on her face, reading the memory of my old life.....until she arrived at the last page I wrote in. "Something's wrong ?" I asked, worried

"No, it's just....seeing that name....Stone." She replied, closing the book slowly, shocked on her face

"You know him ? He was SAS apparently." I added as it was something I didn't mentioned on the book

"No, I heard of him from some of my friends inside the SAS but I don't know him personally." She reassured me as she was looking troubled from it but I prefer to not ask more about it. "That was the last memory you got ?"

"Yes, I could also understand how I got this." I showed the burn mark I had on my left hand "An Perseus operation that has gone bad for me, leaving me with that.....can't remember the date."

"At least, it's a good beginning for you and I hope that I can help further with that." She added, looking at my hand.

"I'm grateful for your help, Park." I smiled at her, giving my sincere thoughts "And since I'm here I will help you too....with Perseus." I looked at the dashboard "It was always my fight : I never believed in Perseus ideas....before and after everything that happened to me."

"Do you think you are ready to get back on working on him ?" She asked me, not sure of her own words, I nodded to her before I could see her looking at a desk next to her....my old desk. "After Solovetsky, I do my best to save your belongings from getting destroyed by the CIA." I do the same as her, looking at my old desk,

"I guess the MI6 had them, right ?" I wondered, she nodded

"Adler and Hudson wanted everything from you to get destroyed but I persuaded them to allow me to keep part of it, everything is now back at the office I had in Century House." She responded before putting her eyes back on me "About Adler, what you will do ?"

"I don't know. Revenge ? Letting him alive ? I'm mixed." It was something preoccupying me since I step inside that safehouse yesterday : What I will going to do with Adler ? "He took me 3 years of my life. I'm 31 years old and still feeling 28."

"He will come back tonight with everyone.....Sims, Woods and maybe Mason." She turned around to look at the garage door "I'm sure you want to confront him like me, I see it in your eyes."

"I need to do this but I will need your help." I breathed, this time, putting my hand on top of hers "Will you help me ?" She nodded,

"Like I said, I will help you to the end, Yirina."  She affirmed before closing her eyes. "Are you sure about fighting Perseus again ?" I nodded, sure of it before she stand up from her chair and then face me, handing her hand over me

"Let's get back to work !"

#black ops cold war #bocw #call of duty cold war #cod cw #cod black ops cold war #cod cold war #fanfic #fem!bell #helen park

[sapphire-strikes]

I Looove the dynamic of Habit Kamal and FK. Thank you for writing so much for them! I was wondering... What do you think Kamal's first impression of FK was? At the habitat he was so anxious and he seemed to helpless - I can't help but think FK helped him become a better and more confident person after the big event happened... But what about before that

• He'd been fighting with himself about the whole situation ever since it went down. Maybe he was too harsh with Habit, he was a pretty sensitive guy after all. He'd been far to nice with him for far to long and that hadn't gotten him anywhere. The things he was doing weren't right, none of it even made sense for a mental health retreat!

• Why even put an ad out looking for a dental assistant if you weren't going to be doing any dentistry. Kamal swallowed hard at that thought, pushing away the fact that he might already know the answer.

• Bor-Habit was unhinged sure, but he wasn't a bad person, that was something Kamal at least thought he was sure of. In fact, that was the only reason he'd stuck around for as long as he did.

• It was too late to change things now though, right? He could just put all of this behind him and move on with his life. All he had to do was walk out the gate and never come back. Unfortunately, he found himself unable to complete that simple last step. Because if something really was wrong, then he'd have moved on being one of the only people that could have stopped it.

• Kamal's conscience wouldn't let him leave but his anxiety made him too damn scared to actually do anything. So he settled on a substandard inbetween; waiting it out to see what would happen.

• It had been what, a few weeks now since his fight with Habit and things in the Habitat had remained monotonously unchanged.

• The Doc himself had gone eerily silent on top of that. Maybe that was for the best. Knowing Habit; the big guy was probably sulking in his office, too frustrated and uncomposed to actually do anything. Those weird little PSAs even stopped airing and Kamal started to feel hopeful that maybe Habit was actually giving up on this whole silly idea.

• Then you showed up. He didn't even know the Habitat was excepting any new members. Habit had even mentioned cutting off applications to see how this first batch of "patients" worked out. He could only assume this was the doctor’s way of trying to kickstart things again. Smashing all hope that maybe this place was actually going to shut down. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't a little annoyed by a new arrival considering his current situation.

• After a few days the rumors started to make their way up to his spot on the balcony. Looks like this new member has been making a name for themselves.

• Along with this rise in activity came the return of the PSAs. This time around though, something wasn't right. Boris was getting annoyed, Kamal could tell. Hell, you'd have to be a moron not to be able to.

• Kamal actually figured that would be it for you. You'd see the not so subtle threatening messages and go into hiding just like him and Wallus. However the very next morning Borbra was excitedly showing off her brand new Y'owl to everyone on the terrace. Unfortunately the purveyor themself stayed up all last night trying to catch it and wasn't around to join in on the fun.

• It didn't really seem like much at first but day after day things in the Habitat started to change. He never went down much further than the apartments but Lulia kept him pretty well informed and the PSAs alone gave him enough information to figure out what was going on.

• Soon the Carnival and the Lounge reopened as well and it almost seemed like every day more and more color was returning to the dreary Habitat. People eyes gave way to a kind of spark when they'd talk about you and anyone that crossed you path seemed to have a sort of glow around them.

• You and Habit had this weird little rivalry going on. It was terrifying but hilarious. You'd improve something around the Habitat and Habit would follow your action up by trying to show you up or by denouncing your behavior.

• Apparently you'd been refusing to eat anything from the lounge and your snarky comments about the poor supply management must have been overheard because by the next day the lounge received what, according to Jimothan, was more stock than the lounge had room for.

• That's what was so funny about it! Habit didn't care about making people happy, at least that's what Kamal figured at this point. He was just childish and jealous that you were doing his job better than him!

• It wasn't long after that that he'd finally get the chance to meet you himself. Not to sound rude but you didn't look like much at first. You were surprisingly normal looking compared to the other people around here. You didn't seem to pay him much mind either when you stepped up to the highest part of the balcony, gazing out over the edge through the missing bars.

• He could only assume it was you, the person everyone had been referring to as the flower kid. You didn't look like much of a kid per say but he guessed the term of endearment matched your actions. Maybe you were some kind of beatnik?

• If it wasn't for the way he unconsciously gasped when you leaned precariously over the edge you might not have even noticed him.

• You looked nervous at first but his own anxious prattling seemed to help you loosen up a bit and soon you got to talking. Gosh, you were a weird kid. Definitely not the type of person to find in a self help resort of all places.

• To think...you'd actually find him a tooth brush. To be honest, up until that moment he didn't think he cared what you were getting yourself into. But after helping him fix his teeth you just collected yourself calmly and went to move on like it was no big deal. In that moment he couldn't think of the last time someone had just done something for him. So he spoke quite unceremoniously in what he assumed was his own half assed attempt to talk you down from the mountain you didn't know you were climbing.

"Habit?" You questioned him as if not understanding what he was getting at. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure that guy wants to kick in my teeth", you continued half joking."

"You'd be surprised how not far that is from the actual truth." Kamal mumbled quietly. So you weren't oblivious to Habit's annoyance.

"I'll be honest, I don't know what I did to piss him off but if he wants me to leave he can ask me himself." Your tone wasn't challenging, it sounded more confused than anything. "I've been here almost two weeks, I just really want to talk to him at this point."

"Careful what you wish for, kiddo, but.... Kamal paused, "he's really not that bad a guy when you get to know him."

"Hm?"

"Heh, never mind. I do got a question for you though. What's someone like you doing in a place like this in the first place? You've obviously got enough positivity to share." His question seemed to catch you off guard and you looked to be searching for an answer. After a moment however you just shrugged wordlessly. "Fair enough fair enough."

• A while after that you made it a habit to stop by and say hi to him when you were making your rounds around the Habitat. It hadn't occurred to him how much he'd actually began to worry about you until you pulled a particular stunt.

• You came up to say hi like you usually did but instead of heading down to the apartments you stared wistfully over the edge of the balcony. He was about to tell you to be careful but didn't get the chance when you jumped through the missing bars and down into the courtyard.

• Kamal rushed down the ever daunting stairwell at a speed he didn't think was possible only to find you standing unharmed at the bottom. How did you - did he just - why??? 

• After that he regained the courage to start walking around the Habitat again. He didn't have to worry about Boris coming down. The big guy talked a big talk when he was behind that puppet but Kamal new him well enough to guess he wouldn't be coming down from his tower any time soon, at least not while you were still here.

• Apparently at some point amongst your little back and forths with Habit you even staged a little mock election for president of the Habitat. While it started out as a one sided joke on your part, Habit actually went through the trouble of having the fake campaign posters Putunia and Tim Tam had made around the Habitat torn down and replaced them with ones of his own. (All of which were quickly vandalized with marker mustaches and devil horns)

• While the whole thing started as a joke, it was just a testament to the fact that you had the whole freakin’ Habitat on your side, even those stupid Carlas. All you had to do was ask them and they'd let you into restricted areas or even forgo escorting you to your room at "beddy time" when you'd try to stay up. 

• The whole beddy time situation was something even he was too scared to mess with. You on the other hand didn't seem to mind ending every night passed out in the courtyard.

Kamal settled down pretty early one night and was just dosing off when he was startled awake by a distant scream. Had he been more awake, he'd have surprised himself with the guts he showed as he rushed out into the dark without a second thought to find the owner of the voice. He hadn't even made it to the stairs when a body crashed into his own. After stumbling for a moment he finally focusing on the panicked figure in front of him.

"Kid, what's the-"

Before he could finish you lurched away from him. "Kid, kid! It's okay it's me!" He spoke quickly, reaching out to steady your shoulders before you tripped over yourself

"K-kamal?"

"Yeah, it's just me, little buddy..." He gave you a reassuring smile as you finally seemed to be taking in your surroundings "Was that you who screamed? What happened?" Unfortunately this question struck the wrong cords as you quickly seemed to remember why you were running in the first place.

"Th-there was this-this...thing...down in the courtyard!" You backed away from him a few steps, pointing down the stairwell.

"Calm down. What kind of thing?"

"Some kind of, I don't know...some kind of shadow thing!" If you weren't still freaking out you might have noticed the way Kamal's face straightened in realization as soon as those words left you mouth. His attention was soon turned back to you though as he shifted into damage control mode.

"Okay, you're okay though right y-" Just then Kamal noticed the way you had been holding your left shoulder, his eyes trailing up to the small abrasion on your head above your temple. "Wait wait wait, did Ha- did this "shadow thing" do that to you?!"

"N-no, but I-", you were interrupted by a rush of lightheadedness but was steadied by Kamal before you could fall over.

"Lets...get out of the open and get you patched up, this "fresh mountain air" is giving me a headache. You can tell me the whole story once your nerves have settled a bit. " You could only offer a shaky nod, stumbling a few times as he seemed to be leading you in the direction of his room.

After instructing you to sit on his bed, Kamal got to work cleaning up the small wound on your head. It wasn't actually too bad, just a shallow scrape with a lot of bruising.

"You see a few hours ago Tim Tam snatched Millie's golf club and stashed it somewhere in the courtyard. We searched for it all day but we couldn't find it anywhere and Mil was getting really upset so I promised her I'd find it for her by morning..." Kamal listened quietly, putting a bit of pressure on your sore shoulder to see how you'd react. "It was getting dark and I was about to give up, but then I saw it up in that big tree by the corner."

"Don't tell me; you climbed up to get it, didn't you?"

"I...yeah. I'd almost made it the whole way up when I started feeling groggy and after a minute I must have blacked out, cause the next thing I know I'm on the ground looking up at the stars.

"You fell out?! Is that why you screamed?"

"No-no, I couldn't do anything at first, I was so out of it." The color drained from your face as you continued. "My vision was fading in and out but I think the pain in my arm was keeping me awake. It hurt so bad but I still couldn't move....it was terrifying."

"Sounds like it..." Kamal finished his inspection and sat beside you when he noticed your growing discomfort.

"That's when I saw it. It was out of the corner of my eye at first but it kept getting closer. I thought for sure I was hallucinating, because I couldn't hear any footsteps and the next thing I know it's standing over me... It was...some kind of...shadow. Then...it reached down and-and started trying to pick me up! That...that must have been enough to get my adrenaline pumping cause I screamed and kicked it right in the stomach! Then...I pulled myself to my feet and ran..."

"And that's when you ran into me huh?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry I just..."

"Don't apologize, I'm glad ya did actually. Your shoulder should be okay, just a little sore for a while, try not to sleep on it, kay?" You once again responded by nodding quietly.

Shoot, you were really shaken up...not that he could blame you. It was a bit jarring actually; to see the infamous flower kid so scared. Stupid Habit and his stupid laughing gas. Stupid him for helping that maniac load the stuff into that stupid machine!

While he had all night to sit there and curse himself out, he was brought back to reality when you stood up beside him.

"I should probably head back to my room... Whatever it was was probably just another one of Habit's tricks to get me to follow curfew anyways." One thing Kamal was sure of; he was not a fan of the despondence in your voice.

"Actually!" He jumped from his spot to stop you, "Why don't you crash with me for the night? No reason to got trudging around in the dark."

"That's sweet but I'll be fine really."

"Ayy, c'mon it's no trouble. I'll sleep on the futon. 'Sides, won't it be kinda fun throwing the green guy for a loop? You ain't out and about, you ain't in your room; he'll be up all night tryin' ta figure out where ya went!" While Kamal never considered himself good a cheering folks up, the small smile you cracked had to count for something.

"Only if I get to sleep in the futon, I don’t want to impose..."

"You're twistin' my arm here, kid, buuut...I guess I can compromise, for the sake of irking a common enemy." The small laugh he got out of you mad him feel happier than he would have been able to admit with a straight face. You really had a way of making folks care about you, kid, and he was no exception.

• That night shared something in common with the night of the Big Event

Kamal was scared, he was always so scared; until he saw someone that was just as scared if not more than him. It's easy to be scared when the only person you're worried about protecting is yourself. But even after finding out Habit was involved that night, seeing someone like you beat up and frightened because of him made him angry. The same went for seeing you walk out of those gates, mouth bloody with Habit in tow.

• He's always going to be a little angry at himself for it taking seeing your courage the night of the Big Event for him to fully realize it. He never would have thought himself brave enough to almost uppercut Habit, let alone have the patience to invite him to come along back to his place with the two of you afterwards at your request.

#smile for me #kamal bora #boris habit #dr. habit #thank you for the request! #this one got kinda long #I like to think that Habit was actually scared seeing the fk fall out of a tree because of him #probably would have even patched you up after you went under #but alas he's in his office holding a bag of ice to his stomach #and angrily searching the cameras to see where you ran off to #tbh you guys #writings pre redemtion Boris always makes me hurt a little inside

[xxisxxisxxis]

Gateway Drug | Part Sixty-One

Words: 3.6K

Warning(s): explicit language, sexual situations, mentions of drug abuse

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I pour dog food into Whisky's bowl, hearing his little paws smack against the floor as he rushes into the kitchen, his collar rattling and his excited panting greeting me when I feel his tongue licking at my arm.

"Good morning." I say to him, patting at his head before he starts eating. 

Once he's finished I'm picking him up as  Nikki comes in, scratching another thing off his to-do list. 

When he steps by me I grab at his hand to stop him and he shakes his head. 

"Nah, I don't need dog hair on me, babe." He grins, dodging me and I follow him. 

"But, daddy, look at this cute little face." I hold the puppy out to him, giving my best puppy dog eyes and Nikki raises a brow. 

"Whisky, tell mommy she can't call me 'daddy' because it'll make me wanna do stuff to her that I don't have time to do right now." He warns, grabbing his packed suit case. 

"We're about to leave for a couple months, Nikki, and he'll be at obedience school. At least hold him for a minute so he won't forget we love him." I suggest and Nikki blinks at me. "I'll give you a blowjob on the way to the airport." I add. 

"Aww, boy, am I gonna miss you!" He takes the happy little Whisky from me and holds him, kissing at his head and calling him a "good boy." "Viv, he's gonna be the best lookin' little stud muffin in that place." He tells me. 

"Speaking of which, maybe they'll figure out a way to combat the humping." I say and Nikki looks at me.

"We're not getting him fixed."

"Are we going to breed him or something?" 

"No, I just don't wanna take his balls, Viv. He's a man's man. He's a good boy. Not a good 'kinda/sorta' boy." 

"He's gonna be more prone to hump anything and everything, and pee on everything more than normal and it'll be a struggle to take him anywhere with other dogs because he'll wanna misbehave."

"Exactly, it'll be like me as a dog." He explains with a smile. "Just look at him, babe. He wants to be just like daddy." 

"Okay, well, if he isn't fixed as soon as he can be, daddy isn't allowed to even breathe the same air as mommy until he gets neutered." I take Whisky back and Nikki cuts his eyes at me. 

"You use your pussy as a like a 'get out of jail free' card anytime you want something and it's annoying." He tells me and I raise my brows. 

"If it's so annoying, why haven't you just put your foot down already?" I ask him, putting Whisky back down on the floor. 

"Because I like the fear of never getting between your legs again. It's thrilling." He jokes and I roll my eyes. 

"Shut up and pack." I chuckle, nudge at him. 

"I'm packed." He states. 

"Four shirts, two pairs of pants, and a Bowie record, isn't 'packed', Nikki." 

"It is when you have money to buy everything else when you get to your destination." He states. 

I ignore him and grab my suit case, about to pack my own stuff. 

When I come back from my closet, two of my bikinis I only wear at home are already laying in the bottom of my suitcase and I look at Nikki, picking the neon pink and bright purple bathing suits up. 

"I already told you earlier, I'm not bringing these, Nikki." I tell him. 

"Why not?"

"The top barely covers my nipples and my boobs spill out, and the bottoms aren't much better."

"But I bought those for you." He reminds me.

"And I like wearing them here, when nobody else is around." 

"At least pack them just in case." 

"Nikki--"

"--Don't argue, Viv. Trust me, you're gonna want them." He says. 

"Fine." I give in, packing them, and my more modest bikinis, before packing clothes and essentials. 

When I come back with pads and tampons, there's articles of lingerie I've never seen before.

"Nikki." I look at him, holding up a scarlett red number with ribbons that criss-cross down the back and tie in a bow where the base of my spine should go. "Are you up to something?" 

"What?" 

"What are you planning?" I ask him and he scrunches his face up. 

"Nothing, baby, I just thought you'd look pretty in that while I'm knocking your hips lose." He shrugs casually. 

"You hate me wearing lingerie while we're fooling around because it interferes with your ability to see everything." I point out.

"Just accept it. And pack it. Because you'll want it." He mumbles. 

"I know you're up to something, Sixx." I accuse him and he shakes his head. 

"No, I'm not up to anything." He denies.

"Skimpy swimsuits, expensive lingerie, sketchy phone calls with Fred...you're up to something."

"Nope. I'm just looking forward to all the time we're gonna spend together on this tour, is all." He shrugs. 

"Mhmm." I sarcastically let out, doubtfully. 

"I mean, if you wanna spend our anniversary--which lands on our day off--with the guys, our opening band, and screaming fans then that's cool, too, I guess." He shrugs. 

"Oh, shit, we have our anniversary this month?"

I might have remembered our anniversary had I been able to wear my wedding ring but it'd gone missing at that point, and I had no clue where it was. 

And neither did Nikki, honestly. 

"I'm not even gonna say anything about you forgetting our anniversary because I've secretly forgotten our anniversary and your birthday every year until someone reminded me a couple weeks in advance, so..." He smiles innocently and I raise a brow. 

Whisky's picked up a couple hours later and Nikki and I are off to the airport without a moment to waste the second our driver pulls up. 

And then the clothes come off.

We don't even notice we're at the airport until the door is flying open to reveal Fred. 

"Get dressed and c'mon, guys, we're running late." He urges as Nikki marks up my neck with his teeth, causing me to laugh at Fred's face turning red in aggravation.

He slams the door shut and I hear them open the trunk to grab our bags and I hum out, smiling when Nikki presses his lips to mine. 

"We gotta go." I breathe out, moving off of him and he groans. "We can do plenty of this in the hotel." I motion between us, buckling my bra, and he smirks. 

"...And on the plane, and on the bus on the way to the show, and backstage, and during Tommy's drum solo, and after the show." He says slyly, pressing a trail of kisses up my arm to my shoulder. 

"Exactly, so, get dressed." I mumble against his lips when he kisses me again. 

Once we're done, we get out of the car and board the plane. 

The stewardesses are gorgeous blondes, which doesn't surprise me, because if Vince has any say in what their female help looks like, they're going to be blonde. 

"Guys, we need a picture!" Tansy insists. 

"Tansy--"

"--I want one." She interrupts Fred, her blue eyes silently begging, and he gives in. 

Morbid reality was that Tansy didn't expect to live much longer, and she wanted to take as many pictures as possible for us to remember her by.

No one really expected Nikki to live much longer, either, of course they never told me that until it was obvious he was crashing.

Once we get the picture taken and take off, it only takes ten minutes before Tommy and Nikki are snorting zombie dust like it's pixie stick powder, and demanding alcohol. 

"You guys need to stay as sober as possible for the show!" Doc argues when Nikki calls him an "asshole" for not giving him a whole bottle of whiskey. 

"We'll be fine like we always are, man, just fucking--"

"--Nikki, please, sit down." I gently tug at his arm when he stands as if he's about to march to Doc and start throwing punches. 

He just glares down at me. 

"Please, baby." I ask him, really, really not wanting to deal with a messed up Nikki Sixx before their show even begins. 

He just stares at Doc before plopping back down beside me, lingering in and out of focus. 

As if it can't get any worse, when we land, there's a slew of groupies waiting in the airport. 

Which we only realize this when we're in their sight and they start in out of nowhere. 

And, of course, ignoring Fred's orders--made from the motivation to keep the guys protected and out of trouble, which is why they hired him--Tommy and Vince gladly accept every single woman throwing herself at them, from the comfort of the bathroom. 

The "Girls, Girls, Girls" tour was nicknamed the "Airport Blowjob Tour" because at every airport we came to, and I mean literally every airport, groupies were like Hornets swarming the place with all the motivation in the world to simply blow the band. 

A few of them would make multiple trips to multiple airports, following the guys wherever city they flew to. 

I admired their passion. 

Some of them were more dedicated to trying to blow my husband than I was. 

Which said a lot because I was pretty dedicated. 

"It's hot as satan's balls out here." Nikki groans when we step off the tour bus after leaving the airport. 

"We're in the middle of Arizona, babe." I remind him. 

He just looks at me from behind his sunglasses. 

"What?" I ask as we head to the hotel's building. 

"Nothing." He shakes his head, opening the door to the lobby, letting me walk in first. 

Doc gets everyone checked in, before I'm getting a shower and getting ready for tonight while Nikki and Tommy dick around. 

By the time we all meet at bus to head to the venue, Fred's got the backstage IDs ready for the road crew and Tansy and I. 

"Here." Fred puts the lanyard over my head with my picture on it, under it reading "Vivian, 6½".

"Thank you." I tell him, climbing in to see Nikki already sitting down, bottle of Jack in his hand as he hands Tommy a lighter for his cigarette.

I'm slightly startled, feeling Vince suddenly throw his arm around me, causing me to stop in my tracks.

"I want a drink. I'm gonna hide in the bathroom and you're gonna sneak it to me." He tells me in my ear and I look at him.

Before I can say, "hell no", I can tell he's desperate. 

"Please, Viv. My nerves are eating me alive right now and I can't drink anything without them jumping on me about it." He nods to Nikki and Tommy who aren't paying attention in the slightest. 

"Vince--"

"C'mon, move it." Doc nudges at Vince's back to get us to hurry up and sit down so he can get by. 

"Fine, gimme a couple minutes." I mumble to Vince before walking to Nikki, sitting down beside him. 

Vince goes to the bathroom, and Emi and Donna sit in front of me and Nikki as Mick sits with Tommy.

Within a few minutes, I'm actively attempting to slyly sneak Nikki's bottle of Jack back to the bathroom after Nikki abandons it to comment on this month's issue of Hustler Magazine with Tommy. 

I tuck the bottle into my purse, well...the best I can, at least. 

"Baby, can you let me out so I can go use the bathroom." I sweetly ask Nikki, and he doesn't even look at me as he responds: "Sure, babe" and stands up, pointing at a girl in the magazine and going "there's no way she's actually able to do that, that's gotta be edited", and I roll my eyes. I wish he wouldn't look at magazines like that, but it's a lost cause if I try to ask him not to, so I just ignore it the best I can and try to tell myself he doesn't look at them because I'm not good enough or something. 

He just looks at them because guys just like looking at naked girls in explicit positions. 

By the time I get to the bathroom, Vince is snatching the bottle from me as I lock the door behind me, crossing my arms in the small bathroom as he takes a long drink of it. 

"You're welcome." I state to him, and he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. 

"Did I thank you?" He smartly asks and I raise my brows. 

"Umm, you should. I'm risking getting an earful from Nikki if he finds out I'm giving his singer--who's on a court mandated sobriety streak--liquor." I blink at him and he rolls his eyes. 

"Oh, please, if he or Tommy were in my shoes they would've put sobriety aside two weeks after it was in place and never would have looked back." He scoffs out. 

I don't argue because it's true. 

"Be nice." Is all I say and he looks at me pointedly. 

"C'mon, Viv, you know it's true. And if it were one of them that got in that wreck with Razzle, and they got caught drinking afterward, nobody would blink an eye because they're Nikki and Tommy."

"Vince, that's not true." I try to tell him.

"Whatever Nikki says, goes. Whatever Nikki wants, he gets. He's the one that put the band together which means his say is the final say, and same with Tommy because he's close with Nikki and Nikki backs him up." 

I can't say anything. 

"And you're not even arguing because you know as well as everyone else that it's true. It's Nikki and Tommy and nobody else fucking matters. Certainly not the washed up singer that nearly killed their careers." 

He hands me the bottle back and I rub my lips together. 

"Thanks." He mumbles before sliding past me to open the door and leave. 

I put the lid back on the bottle and hide it back in my purse before I go back to Nikki and put the bottle back, undetected, my mind reeling over what Vince said. 

It was clear there was a disconnect between Nikki, Tommy, and Vince after Razzle died, and it just got worse and worse as the years went by.

Tommy and Nikki, notorious "Terror Twins" got into more shit than anyone else around us, combined. 

The deepest shit Vince got into was that wreck, and after that he quit a majority of his bullshit on making life for everyone around him, difficult by acting up, and just started moving in silence. 

He'd have his petty moments, but for the most part, he would lay low and leave Tommy and Nikki to raise hell and embarrass the band and their team. 

I could tell he was bothered by the fact that he made a mistake that Nikki or Tommy had a higher chance of making at the time, and because of that, he was kicked out of their little club. 

And the fact that Tommy and Nikki got away with absolutely everything, got to him the most. 

I admit, Vince should have served more time for the Razzle tragedy, but he still had to live knowing Hanoi Rocks was no more, knowing he let fans down, knowing he gutted Razzle's friends, family, band and fans, and knowing--although accidental--he was partly to blame for one of his friends' deaths. 

But Nikki and Tommy didn't give a fuck what they did, who they did it to, why they did it, how they did it, or whether they meant to do it or not. 

And they didn't care because they would always get away with it. 

Always. 

Vince was tempted to tell me about Vanity, but decided not to because he didn't want to hear shit from Nikki, but also because he'd rather me find out from a place of genuine concern. 

Not just him blurting it to me in order to spite Nikki and finally make sure there was something he didn't get away with doing. 

My lips pull into a wide grin as I cover my mouth before a loud shriek can fall past my lips and alert everyone outside the bathroom of the venue, what's going on in here. 

Nikki continues to slide his hot, warm tongue against my clit as I grind in rhythm with his mouth. 

Just as I'm about to come, someone's banging on the door. 

"C'mon, guys!" It's Fred. "Nikki, you're on in, like, two minutes!"

"Got it!" I reply for him, being that his mouth is busy, and Nikki just grins up at me, causing my third orgasm to begin to build. 

"Nikki, dude, we gotta go!" Tommy calls from the other side of the door. 

Just as I'm coming, the door is unlocked with Fred's key, and I'm too shell shocked to try to get away from Nikki. 

We both just look at Doc, Fred, and Rich Fischer, who are nearly fuming. 

"Fred, what the fuck is wrong?" Nikki snaps as I pull my dress back down, my face burning bright red as I try to fix my hair and my lipstick, and ignore my cum running down my legs. 

"You're about to be late for your first show of this tour over some pussy, that's what the fuck is wrong. Get out there." Doc snaps at him. 

"Wait." I say, taking my crucifix off, handing it to him. 

He takes it with a sly little grin, looking at me before clasping it around his neck for good luck on the first show. 

"Thanks, Viv." He tells me, kissing my cheek before he heads to stage. 

I follow after him, but Doc grabs at my arm, gently, to stop me. 

"What?" I ask him, still embarrassed from earlier. 

"You're not going to be too big of a distraction, are you?" He asks me and I raise my brows. 

"Excuse me?"

"Anytime he's late, Vivian, it's either linked to you or heroin, and he's off smack so he's gonna be onto you more." He explains. 

"We've been married for four years, Doc, and I've never been a 'distraction'. What the hell are you talking about?" I ask. 

He just lets out a breath. 

"Just don't let this happen again." He tells me and I exhale, rolling my jaw. 

"I'm sorry, it won't happen again." I assure him, feeling like I've just been scolded by my freaking mother.

"Good." 

Did I mention that Mötley was in their prime and Doc was considerably paranoid of someone throwing a wrench in the machine that was Mötley Crüe? 

Once the show is finished, the guys are given masks for hyperventilation, their sweaty, liquor purging bodies slumped.

After they calm down, it starts. 

"Alright, where we going?" Tommy asks Nikki, punching lightly at his shoulder as Vince is about to get a shower to get the sweat off of him. 

"Strip club, probably." Nikki pants out, drinking a bottle of water in 20 seconds, handing it to me when he's finished. "What about you, Mick, you coming this time?" Nikki asks him and Mick shrugs. 

"Doesn't really matter to me." He states.

"Guys, you want food?" Fred offers, sticking his head in the dressing room. 

"Yes." We all say and he chuckles. 

"Alright, we're on it." He assures us.

"You're not getting a shower?" I ask Nikki and he shakes his head. 

"Nope." He replies and I wrinkle my nose. 

"As long as you shower before you get in the bed with me." I say to him and he smirks. 

"There's two beds in the room." He reminds me. 

I blink at him, blankly. 

"Don't even play like that." I tell him and he chuckles. 

"Don't be a baby, Sixx." He says as he nudges at me and I exaggeratingly move away from him. 

"No, stop." I try to hide my smile as he just gets closer to me again, so I move some more, only causing him to follow. "Nikki, chill out." I say, seeing the look in his eyes: he's up to no good. "Nikki, don't!" 

He's suddenly tugging me into his lap, his sweaty, soaked clothing pressing to my back, causing me to squeal as he tickles at my sides, and I scream out in laughter as I get that nostalgic feeling I felt when I realized I first loved him, and would rather die than go without being with him forever. 

We weren't arguing, we weren't trying to hurt each other, we were getting closer and closer to how we were when we first got married. 

There was no heroin, there was no blatant meanness...we were just starting to learn to be in love with each other again.

I, completely overlooking blatant signs and red flags, figured, "we made it through his heroin addiction, we're making it through fame and public scrutiny, we're getting stronger and stronger and back to normal...mom was wrong, and we can handle anything."

And that was the problem: I felt too fucking secure. 

Hearing and knowing about all these rockstars cheating on their significant others, and I felt prideful that Nikki might've been an asshole, but he'd never do such a thing to me. 

I was beginning to have an arrogance about it.

And that's the thing about us when we get arrogant: God, or the universe, or Karma--whatever we believe--humbles us. 

And I thought all of them had gotten together and made a plan to humble me to absolute hell. 

#nikki sixx #mötley crüe #nikki sixx x oc #nikki sixx fanfiction #gateway drug

[barnesandrogersfanfics]

Baby Love - Part 8

A/N- Wow its been a minute since i’ve updated this one! 💕

"Are you okay?" I heard Chris ask as i sat in the car staring at the new scan printout we were given.

"Im great" i smiled brushing my finger over the image "its just.... you can actually see that its a baby now! Before it didn't really look like anything"

"Starting to feel more real now huh?"

"Definitely! You wanna FaceTime your mom? You know shes dying to find out if shes getting a new granddaughter or grandson"

"You don't mind? We can wait if you want, just keep it between us....."

"I don't mind" i shrugged "you choose babe, its your family"

"I love you" he smiled leaning over to kiss me "ok, lets do this".

Chris pulled his phone from his pocket and dialled his mom, it only rang twice before Lisa appeared on the screen.

"Hey you two" she said happily "so?? come on...tell me"

"Wow straight to the point huh?" Chris laughed "okay, okay. Its a....."

"WAIT!!! DONT YOU DARE SAY A WORD UNTIL IM THERE!!!" We suddenly heard Scott yell in the background making us all burst out laughing, we saw him run in through the door behind Lisa and then he was squeezing in next to his mom to see us on the screen.

"Okay go, I'm here!"

"Hey Scott" i smiled giving him a wave.

"Hey mama, your looking good!"

"Thank you"

"Okay come on! I cant wait any longer!" Lisa interrupted practically bouncing up and down in her seat.

"Its a girl!" Chris announced loudly and proudly.

"Oh sweetheart thats amazing! And everything looks okay?...."

"Yep everything is good, doc said everything is as it should be"

"Thats great, i know its a scary time going through your first pregnancy,  if you ever need to talk to anyone im here for you"

"Thank you Lisa that means alot"

"Im here for you too! I dont know anything about pregnancy but anything else im your guy!" Scott added making us all chuckle.

"I'll keep that in mind Scotty"

"Okay guys well I'm going to get these two home, we just wanted to tell you the news"

"Okay sweetheart, you both take care i love you".

The call ended after the 'I love yous' we're exchanged and Chris drove us home, 10 minutes after getting home i was fast asleep on the sofa cuddled up to Chris. I guess it was too much excitement for one day!

It was the day before the Premiere and i still didn't have anything to wear. So here i was trying on dresses with the help from none other than Scott Evans!

He had been on the phone with Chris last night when he heard i still hadn't got a dress and insisted he take me out to find something.

"I can't believe you've left it this late Y/N!" He was moaning from outside the changing room.

"I know im sorry! But what was the point of getting it weeks before hand when i know im probably not going to fit in the thing when it comes to actually wearing it"

"Okay fair point" he chuckled as i turned around getting a good look in the mirror before i showed him.

"Okay, i think this one is good, its comfortable and it kinda hides the bump with the ruffles..."

"Okay well show me!"

I opened the curtain and he looked wide eyed at me "wow"

"Is that a good wow or...."

"Definitely good, only it doesn't hide the bump as much as you think" 

"In a way i cant wait for it be public knowledge, i don't want to have to worry about what I'm wearing when i leave the house you know?" I shrugged turning back to face the mirror and running my hand over my growing baby bump "I'm not trying to hide the fact I'm pregnant its just the hate i know I'm gonna get. But then i guess if I'm with your brother i should just learn to deal with it. Its never gonna go away is it? There's always going to be someone putting me down about something"

"There will be, but lets face it their just jealous. And you wont ever need to meet these people.... don't even read what they say sweetheart. You are an amazing woman and you make my brother so happy its actually quite sickening"

"Thanks Scotty" i laughed shaking my head at him "so this dress?"

"That dress!".

All of Chris's family met round at our place before the premiere where family photo's were being taken. It was nice to have photo's that were just ours and not splashed online for everyone to see. After Lisa said she had enough we all headed out to the cars, I was a nervous wreck from the second the car started moving. My stomach was in knots and i felt like i was going to be sick any second, without knowing i moved my hand and placed it protectively over my growing bump. Suddenly Chris's hand took hold of my free hand that was gripping the leather seat.

"You okay sweetheart?"

"Im just freaking out" i replied shaking my head with a tight smile.

"You'll be fine, i'll be with you every step of the way.... well i'll probably have to step away to give some interviews but Scott will stick by you, you'll never be on your own"

"I'll be okay once I'm there its just the thought of it.... everyones gonna know about the baby"

"And i cant wait for the world to know how lucky i am" Chris beamed leaning forward and carefully kissing me so he didn't mess up my lipstick.

The car finally rolled to a stop and already the crowd outside was going wild.

"You ready?" Chris asked turning to me smiling.

"Are you?"

"Not gonna lie my anxiety is through the fucking roof right now... but yeah. Lets do this" he took a deep breath and threw open the car door getting out quick before he could change his mind. I watched him turn and give a quick wave at the waiting crowd before holding his hand out to me. I took his hand and held on tight as i got out the car, the camera flashes already going crazy all around us. Chris wrapped his arm around my waist and lead me down the purple carpet keeping me close to his side, Scott followed close behind with his family keeping a close eye on us.

Once inside i felt myself start to relax a little knowing this part was just the cast interviews, i stepped off to the side with Scott to let Chris do his thing.

"You want some water?" Scott asked holding out a bottle of water "you need to stay hydrated"

"Thanks Scotty" i smiled accepting the water "i really wish this was alcohol right now" i said quietly to him making him laugh, i saw Chris looking over at me smiling.

"Pay attention!" I mouthed to him and pointed to the guy who was trying to talk to him and RDJ.

As soon as he had finished with that interview he made a be-line for me. His hands went straight for my hips pulling me closer to him.

"We're heading in now to watch the movie" he said pressing a quick kiss to my temple and taking my hand.

"So how many people have asked about us?"

"All of them, but funnily enough none have mentioned the baby"

"Huh, i thought they'd be all over that"

"Im sure someone will have said something by the end of the night".

The movie was amazing like always! I laughed and cried.... cried alot!! Damn hormones! Chris had kept everything to himself so i was still in shock after watching the movie. After the movie we all headed off for the after party, this is when i finally felt myself relax properly.

I was currently sat at a table with Scott while Chris did the rounds, i was starting to feel tired now, i wanted nothing more than to go home and curl up in bed with Chris and Dodger.

"Hey sweetheart, you remember Sebastian right?" Chris smiled down at me with Sebastian Stan! Standing beside him. I felt my cheeks flush suddenly, Sebastian had been my celebrity crush for years!!

"Hey! How are you?" Sebastian smiled before leaning down to kiss my cheek.

"Hi, I'm good thank you. How are you?"

"Im great. Its nice to see everyone again"

"I can imagine"

"Can i get you something to drink?" Sebastian offered.

"No thank you, I'm not drinking tonight I'm good with water" i smiled .

"Wait.... are you....?" Sebastian looked down at my stomach then over at Chris with wide eyes, Chris smiled and nodded proudly.

"What?!! man thats great news! Congratulations you guys" Sebastian grabbed Chris patting him on the back.

"Im so happy for you guys!"

"Thank you Sebastian thats means a lot" i smiled "lets hope everyone else is as happy for us"

"Babe its gonna be fine"

"I hope your right about that Evans".

(Photo's are for the dress not face claim, i apologise for my bad manips! 😂)

Baby love tags: @jennmurawski13 @mybabyboytony

@ms-betsy-fangirl @vampgirl1997 @ajosieface

@afuckingshituniverse @chmedic @esoltis280

@southerngracela @bethabear12

@letsdisneythings @sellulii @patzammit

@katiew1973 @princess-evans-addict

@deidrahouseofpain @siren-queen03

@shipatheart

#chris evans x reader #chris evans #reader insert #baby love #babylove

[judgement-free-sideblog]

Ghosts from the rainforest

Summary: A simple rescue mission will bring him back to a place full of nightmares, and maybe this time he could find redemption. Situated in 1975, 2 years after the events of Skull Island.

Warnings: Violence, blood, wounds, mentions of war, cursing, implied smut, smoking, angst.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 6: Family

The piercing blue eyes search for you in the dim light that came from the sunrise outside the shack, he found you and attempt to stand up getting down immediately from the pain.

"Don't even try" You said to him, sad to look at his face covered in dry blood and a still fresh cut on his cheekbone. Two days after arriving Walker had decided to inspire moral in his troops by beating him and putting you to treat their wounds "I suspect they broke one of your ribs when you call them bastards, also even if you could move there is also this" you pointed to the fetter around his ankle and he looked at yours too, your shorts were stained from the truck and the dirt floor of the shack, and the clear sign of a lash on the naked skin that you cover with a blanket when he looked at it.

"How is your head?" He asked finally trying to sit still "How long have we been here?"

"It has been better, it will take more than that to take me down, don't worry" You said taking a piece of cloth and wetting it on a small bowl "Well after you passed out I kept fixing a couple wounds here an there in the camp, so he won't kill you, that was three days ago, at least they left me this to fix you up, hold still" You approach as much as you could to him and start cleaning up his wounds.

"I have nowhere else to be love... hey!!" He pull apart when the alcohol touch the open skin, and gave you a panicked look when you show him the suture you will use to close the cut

"Oh Captain don't be a baby" You hold his face on your hand while continuing to clean the cut "You must be used to deal with vicious animals like that by now, because that frien of yours can call himself a man"

"You are right, Walker is a poisonous snake who will kill anyone on his way, the only reason we are alive is because he believes he may get something valuable out of you, which reminds me, what did he ment by next time he'll go for the throat?" He had his hand was clenched and his eyes firmly shut down when you passed the needle trough the skin.

"I have met Walker before, Shukri used to help him pass his weapons and stuff through the border so he send me as a symbol of friendship, but the man he wanted me to help die, wich of course he will because he had severe sepsis and many bullet holes, and I'm far from being an actual medical doctor"

"You really have a way to reassure people" He joke and you rolled your eyes at him.

"Anyway he went crazy and kill the men Shukri send to guard me and stab me in the stomach, and leave me for dead in the jungle, thankfully it wasn't a cut deep enough and I managed to walk to the next village". You finish and he looked at you surprised by how casually you talk about those horrible memories. "What does he meant by your taste still being constant?" His face darkened and the guilt and remorse appear again in his eyes. "I'm sorry, I didn't meant..." You tried to stand up but he grab your wrist and you sit next to him.

"As I told you Jenny's mom was the lover of a British ambassador, and we actually met before we were send to find her, one night Sargent Walker was drunk and tried to force himself on her, and I stop her" He said with a sad smile on his face.

"You were together? You and her mother I mean" You tried to hide a hint of jealousy in your voice, it was funny that in this threatening situation you could still be thinking about you two.

"Of course not" He said and a grin of satisfaction show on his face when you sigh in relief "Although I had feelings for her, and maybe she had them too, but I knew I had a mission, then Walker betrayed us and Jenny die... well I guess she blamed me for it" you didn't say anything and just let him lay his head on your lap, the fetter was biting in your skin and your ankle was about to start bleeding but you feel the need of comforting him.

"How could you look this handsome aan peaceful cover in bruises, and cuts?" You ask yourself outloud after a couple minutes once you thought he was asleep.

"I could ask you the same Y/N" He responded opening his blue eyes, and you almost pushed him down but remember his bad shape. "Don't worry, the guys are looking for us, they will get help in Borneo and come back"

"That's what I'm afraid of, I heard them talking about asking for ransom money to the US Embassy in Borneo, what if they get too late, he is gonna kill me when he realizes I lie to him".

"I will like to him try" He said trying to stand hurting himself again.

"Easy there prince charming" You said holding him still and locking your hands together in the process, neither of you trying to pull apart. "I do know what I will do if we actually get out of here".

"And what is that?" Conrad asked trying to ignore how helpless your if was.

"I'm writing a strong worded letter to Houston Brooks about the terrible job of his tracker, since he keeps trying to charm the women he works for" You said and he smiled at you.

"Is it working?" He asked, trying to incorporate.

"Maybe" you said but before you could follow your instinct, some loud steps approach to the shack and you gently put him on the floor to curl in your corner pretending to be asleep.

"Ibu? Cepat! Kita perlu pergi" Mother? Quick! We have to go A young boy enter the shack carrying a big shotgun, and he open the fetter setting you free.

"Dia akan datang bersama kami" He is coming with us You said and he went to set a surprised James free.

"What is going on? Ibu?" He asked once you help him stand up, he was not as hurt as you thought since he could walk without help, but he was definitely not in his prime.

"You have your family Captain, I have mine" And since that explanation was not enough you had to continue "One of the men guarding me years ago was Shukri's nephew, he hates Wlker ever since, and has many of his children inside his little army so he can eventually sell them to the authorities"

"He is a layered man isn't he?" He said while you and the boy help him walk outside the camp, another infiltrator was already waiting next to a truck ready for you to flee, waving in the distance, and then the sound of a thunder brake the morning air, and he made a funny surprise face, and a blood stain start growing in his chest and he just fall on his back, and then all hell broke loose.

Walker men were following you, and since James was hurt it was so little that your young hero could do for you.

You run into the jungle just to be stopped in an open area where a tree had fallen an then four men were surrounding you, ready to kill.

"Drop it big guy!" Reles voice said, making your hear stop and race with happiness. The man in front of you turned around to meet Reels surprised by how calm he was.

"Didn't you listen? Drop it!" Slivko said coming out of the jungle with another six guys that you were sure were part of Shukri's village.

"I got you doc" Glenn said passing between the men who were already unarmed.

"I'm fine, help the Captain" you said and without thinking you took one of the weapons that had been dropped in the ground.

"I thought you didn't like those" Slivko said while Reels help the boy tie Walkers men.

"Desperate times Reg" You said, and hug him. "How did you find us so quickly?"

"Oh wow, sorry Captain" He said looking embarrassed "The guy, the weird guy that says he is your husband he meet us half way when we came after you guys, apparently one of the guys here told him what happened and he came with us and many men along to help"

"I knew it! Wait a minute Shukri is here?" You hold your breath because the feeling that something was wrong was strongly hurting your chest, and Conrad's words about Walker resonated in your ears.

You run back to the campsite, the ambush had worked out, the rest of Walker's men were dead or prisoners and unarmed, only their Sargent was too stubborn to surrender and both him and Shukri were aiming at each other in the middle of the camp. Shukri with a shotgun and Walker with two pistols.

Again without thinking and with the adrenaline running through your veins you pointed your gun at him and order him to drop it. As all response he aimed one of his pistols at you.

"You can't win this" You said to him not backing off and looking James concerned face approaching, but he was not looking at you, all his attention seemed to be focus on Shukri.

"Oh I know that doctor, but I have a question for you, who will be faster? Me or this little idiot here who came to rescue his princess??"

Things happened in the fraction of a second and by the time you understand what have happened both men where in the ground.

In the moment Shukri nod to James and he jump to take you out of the line of fire, Walker shoot his guns missing you, but not Shukri, but he didn't miss either.

"Hey, hey Shukri man, come on" Mills said approaching pressuring the wound, you stood up and walk away from James who was breathing difficulty from the jump, but overall okay.

"Shukri, you win, he is dead, please don't give up now" You said now no longer holding on the tears.

"Tears? Isteri if I had known that this is what I needed to do I would have let someone shoot me long ago." He said holding your hand with almost no strength. "Captain Prince charming?" He called for James and he kneeled by his side respectfully "Anda menjaga isteri saya" You take care of my wife

"I will" James said solemnly, and Shukri nod, then he hold your hand tightly and then after one last breath he and a quiet smile to you he was gone.

After a couple minutes people dispersed and you could hear his men arranging how will they move him, but it was wrong and you couldn't yet set what had happened in your brain, after one hour you felt like if you keep looking long enough he will smile again and wake up to tease you and life will be normal again.

"It's time" James said but he didn't force you to stand, he only gave you his hand, and stood there waiting, after a minute that felt like an eternity you took his hand stand up, and then you let all your unspoken feelings to come out, about Randa, about Shukri, about watching him almost be beaten to death two days ago, you cried and cried and he simply hold you, even when his rib was probably killing him, even when you were nothing to him but a job, he keep holding you.

#kong skull island fanfiction #kong skull island #captain james conrad x reader #james conrad x reader #captain james conrad x you #james conrad imagine #captain james conrad #james conrad #reg slivko #glenn mills #joe reles #tom hiddleston