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turtleblogatlast · 4 months

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[ cw: risk taking behavior / circumstantial self harm kinda / ignoring of injuries / self-depreciation / slight ooc-ness but for a reason! / ]

Post invasion, Leo is fine.

More than fine! He’s better than before, even. That is, if you don’t count the slightly cracked shell and still healing bones, but those are only a problem when the weather wants them to be!

Leo really is better in the ways that matter.

He’s not as cocky, not as self-centered, and overall just more heroic in general if he does say so himself.

Raph even said he was proud of Leo!

So obviously things are going well.

But.

It’s not enough.

Leo’s better, sure, but he’s still got work to do.

So - and here’s something that will probably make his brothers faint on the spot - he needs to train.

_____

His brothers do not faint, but it’s a near thing for Raph. Mikey has to fan the snapper’s face and Donnie almost brings out the smelling salts before Raph shoots back to his feet with an excited grin.

Leo’s big brother gets teary eyed soon after and envelops him in a bear hug, saying once again how proud he is that Leo is growing up.

Leo lets himself be hugged, even hugs back as fiercely as he can, because unbeknownst to Raph, this marks the end of Leo’s childhood.

He lets himself be hugged like a kid one last time, looking through the hole in Raph’s shell all the while.

_____

Leo only trains the regular way with his brothers and occasionally April and the Caseys, but most especially Raph.

But of course that’s not enough, it was never going to be.

So he goes through the motions of the stretches, the spars, the meditation, and then he leaves.

He makes sure to have his excuses ready, usually defaulting to Hueso as his go to since his brothers are easily bought off with the promise of pizza. Leo hasn’t yet found the tracker Donnie installed in him, but when he does that’ll be dealt with too! But for now, this should be good.

See, the invasion made him realize something.

It’s not about him, but it was his shortcomings that led to everything going to hell.

So he just…needs to get rid of those shortcomings.

He’s working on it, gaining fighting skill in training, but there’s more he needs to do, more skills he needs to train.

Leo watches intently as Repo Mantis swindles someone, he memorizes the sleight of hand that Hypno performs, he sneaks back into the Mystic Library and is so quiet the hush bats forget he’s there, he talks Big Mama into honing his manipulation, and he even sneaks into human hospitals and reptile veterinary clinics to get a clue on more serious injuries.

And after any of these, he heads to Run of the Mill to compete in the Maze of Death.

_____

This is his twelfth time going through the (newly remodeled and even more deadly) Maze of Death, and would be his fifth time winning. The first three times had him waking up in Hueso’s office, and each time he wakes his old persona shines through.

He always waves off Hueso’s annoyance and questions and insists on trying again next time before he steals some pizza and bails.

The skeleton actively tries to stop him from entering the Maze after the first time, but hey- mystics are allowed before you enter.

It’s easy enough to teleport on by.

Harder to meet Hueso’s - and later his brothers’ - eyes when he fails again.

When he first actually won, Hueso congratulates him in that typical deadpan tone of his.

“Ah, felicidades, Pepino. Now you can move on, sí?”

“Hm? Nah, boneman! That run was sloppy!”

And then Leo runs off before Hueso can stop him.

He doesn’t even look at his picture on the champion wall when he next comes around. It’s not much to look at anyway.

_____

His second win is much like the first, and only his third win is actually acceptable.

But he knows the field too much now. He needs a challenge.

When he attempts to go through it blindfolded, he’s quickly shown how much he doesn’t know the Maze. So, obviously, he loses again.

He got a bit more banged up that time around.

“Pepino, basta ya, you’ve already won. Where are your brothers?”

“I can’t stop yet, señor! This is for my brothers - no les digas, please.”

Even if Hueso wanted to tell Leo’s brothers, they haven’t been in enough for him to get to, and it’s not like Hueso has their number since Leo’s the one Hueso usually contacts. For now, Leo’s safe to continue as is.

Though his injuries are getting harder to hide, and there’s only so much his shell in particular can take.

So to speed things up, he incorporates the blindfold into his regular training.

His brothers question it, of course, but hey, he initially got the idea from seeing Lou Jitsu do it in the third best Lou Jitsu movie, so it comes as a great excuse now.

He’s only a little put off by how fast Mikey adapts to it when the others try.

“I dunno-“ Mikey shrugs when asked, “You guys shine so brightly anyway, a mask doesn’t do much.”

Seeing their mystic energies is pretty cool, Leo can admit.

He just wishes he could grasp that himself - and that it was useful for a death maze.

_____

Leo’s training pulls off eventually, and soon, after a few more losses, he wins a forth time. But it’s a near loss, and a near loss is the difference between someone living and dying.

He’s gotta go again.

Hueso’s more insistent than ever, though.

“You must stop, Pepino.”

“But I can do better-“

“You don’t have to! Your shell is bleeding - ¡por tu propio bien, poner fin a esto!”

“I told you, this is for their own good! For everyone’s own good!”

He forgets the pizzas when he leaves. He claims sickness when he hides under his covers.

He ignores how childish the act makes him feel.

_____

Leo’s getting better, and his reflexes and tact in training shows this. His other training of his subterfuge and medical skills also prove to be useful.

He’s pretty good at hiding injuries, now! Though not so good at hiding a pained shell. Even Donnie looks at him with blatant concern (and understanding) when Leo can’t help but take a sharp breath whenever he lands on his back.

It’s hard not to go right back into waving everything off with jokes like he used to. Deflections are easier when they’re annoying!

But- this is just another reason that he needs to get better, right? So his brothers won’t worry. He doesn’t need the spotlight anymore - he’s over that, thanks.

He squashes down the part of him that perks up when Splinter says he’s growing up. He actively kills the part of himself that cries at the same phrase.

_____

So. Yeah. This’ll be his twelfth time running the Maze. And, hopefully, his fifth win. Maybe he really will move on after this.

The Hidden City is pretty big! There’s probably a bigger challenge somewhere.

Maybe Big Mama has a more secret Nexus hidden away, out of the public eye.

Well, whatever. That’s a future problem for him to figure out, yeah? For now, he carries on like usual, teleporting to the entrance of the Maze and diving right in.

Even blindfolded, he works his way through, dodging and weaving and feeling as he goes. He even tries to evoke his inner Mikey and calls on his mystic energy. Not enough to cheat, but enough to feel.

Usually, when Leo teleports, he swears he feels every part of himself disperse into particles. Now, with energy thrumming under his scales, he can feel particles everywhere.

It’s not refined enough to tell him everything, and he gets a fun new burn and a nice whack to the back by getting distracted. Still, it gives him more than he had before. It makes him more aware of everything, like he licked a finger and held it in the air to feel the direction of wind, but every direction blew wind, all in different ways.

He makes it to the end with minimal injuries after that, and sure, his shell is screaming at him now, but he thinks he did a shell of a good job.

…Ah, he needs to cut that out, huh? Man. Maybe Donnie’s collar idea was a good call after all.

Leo needs to be a hero. Not a face man. Not a failure.

Not a kid.

_____

Leo doesn’t smile when the Minotaur takes his picture again for the champion wall, and he doesn’t listen when she tells him to “go home and never come back.”

He doesn’t plan to, anyway, yeesh.

He’s tired as he trudges out of the exit, and Hueso catches him when he stumbles.

Hueso doesn’t say anything. Leo doesn’t either.

Or, he doesn’t, until he feels a familiar large hand helping him up as well.

Leo’s face whips up as he flinches back, eyes wide as they meet with a worried (so, so worried) Raph’s.

“You told them?” Leo asks Hueso in betrayal, heart thudding wildly in his chest.

“Pepino…”

“Told us what?” Mikey pipes up from behind Raph, coming closer to get a better look at Leo, “Leo, what’s going on?”

“Your shell has been having pretty big setbacks on its healing, is this why?” Donnie demands, glaring fiercely as he motions toward the Maze.

Leo feels unmoored. “I-“

“Leo.” Raph interrupts, and no Leo doesn’t want to hear it- “Are you okay?”

And Leo wants to say “it’s not about me”. He wants to say anything that proved he learned his lesson, that he’s not a liability or worse, an active danger to his own family.

He wants Raph to continue being proud of him. He wants his brothers to trust him.

Instead, he passes out.

_____

The next time his eyes open, Leo’s on his side, staring at his blue lava lamp.

He knows without looking that his shell is re-bandaged. He knows his other injuries have been dealt with too.

And unless Leo learned how to do some pretty impressive medical sleepwalking, he knows he’s not getting away this time.

All three of his brothers being in his room prove that.

“What’s been going on, Leo?” Mikey asks, and his voice cracks partway through.

He’s looking at Leo like he’s searching for something, but Leo doesn’t have anything to show. Nothing’s hidden, he just did some light spring cleaning is all, throwing out all the parts he didn’t need.

All the parts they didn’t need.

And yet despite everything, he can feel himself falling back into old ways, a grin tugging at his beak and lackadaisical deflection on the tip of his tongue.

Maybe he should let that part of him show, just for once. It wouldn’t seem like too much of a setback would it? And he could really use a fun pun right about now-

No.

No it’s not about him. He needs to remember why he did all this in the first place.

“Okay- sorry, guys.” He smiles, softly, quietly, “I guess I got too caught up in training. I’ll work at it some more, don’t worry.”

“Oh, I see. Training. That’s all it was, huh? Training.” Donnie hisses more than says, nearly vibrating in anger.

“…yeah?” Leo nods slowly, because, uh, that’s literally the most honest thing he said. It was training.

“If it’s just “training” then why the secrecy, hm? Why in Curie’s good name did you prefer to sneak around rather than, oh, I don’t know, tell your family?”

Leo feels his shoulders rise at Donnie’s aggression, defensiveness welling up in him, “It was my training! Nothing went wrong, I’m getting better!”

“Better?” Raph asks incredulously, “Leo, you’re wasting away. A tap to the shell stuns you for minutes, you lost weight, and your dark circles are worse than Raph’s ever seen them! You aren’t getting better-!”

“YES I AM!”

The words rip out of Leo before he can stop them.

The room is silent as his brother look at him, all wearing expressions of hurt that Leo put there again.

“Yes I am.” Leo reiterates, shaking, “Because- if I’m not-“ He squeezes his eyes shut. “If I’m not-“

Then what was all this for?

Arms slowly wrap around him, and he knows now from the feel of the mystic that it’s Mikey.

“You’ve gotten faster, and sneakier.” Mikey says quietly. “When I accidentally cut my hand, you knew exactly how to take care of it.” His voice grows firm, and he backs out of the hug, “But those are your skills. You, though, you’ve been…you’ve been…”

“You’ve been dilapidating before our very eyes, and trying to hide it.” Donnie finishes, jaw tight. “You think we wouldn’t notice? After everything?” To Leo’s horror, Donnie’s voice is hoarse with tears, “You absolute dumb dumb.”

“I- but I need to train. The Maze is-“

“Leo, we don’t care that you ran through the Maze. We care you did it alone.” Raph says quietly. “We could have joined you, any time.”

“But- but I’m doing this for you-“

“Listen to your brothers, Blue.” They jump as a new voice joins the fray, heads turning to see Splinter make his way into the - frankly crowded - room.

“Dad, I-“ Leo begins, but trails off, suddenly more unsure than ever in the face of his father.

“It’s good you’re finally picking up training! Especially for your brothers’ sakes! But there’s such a thing as going overboard, you know.” Splinter pokes a sharp claw into Leo’s plastron, “Just because you’re dragging it out this time, doesn’t make this any less of a sacrifice. My son, you’ve taken after Karai an awful lot, haven’t you?”

Leo just looks at his father. At his brothers. Then, he looks down at his calloused hands, bandaged and scarred from overuse.

He swallows dryly. “Is that a bad thing?”

He feels his family crowd in around him, feels his father’s hand on his shoulder.

“It’s not wrong to want to be better, Leonardo.” Splinter says, softly and with so much grief and guilt that Leo can never begin to understand, “But you were never bad to begin with.”

Leo’s breath hitches.

“And-” Splinter’s hands rise up to frame Leo’s face. “You are much too young to ever consider sacrifice the best answer.”

“You got me to relax, Leo. So I’ll do the same for you.” Raph grins, eyes wet, “We’re still kids, right?”

And-

Leo smiles, watery but genuine. “Yeah, Raph. We are.”

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt leo #rottmnt headcanons #rise leo #rise fanfic #WHOOPS #did not mean to write all this #my only regret is not including April #anyway I was like wow Leo sure is acting different at the end of the movie huh #then I thought hey he’s actually acting a lot like previous iterations of Leo rn #then I ran with it and tripped down the stairs in the process #thus this was born!#I am tired so more tags later #but dang oops a bit too angsty gotta do smth lighthearted soon huh #also yes he DOES go back and apologize for putting Hueso through so much #he gets a smack on the head and a head pat immediately after #‘don’t do it again Pepino - not until I finally get the Maze shut down’ ‘okay wait what-‘

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charcubed · 7 months

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oh everyone and their DISCLAIMERS about how “lokius will never be canon because disney and marvel are awful, but”........ well I have nothing to lose so. fuck disclaimers! this is my idea of fun! what if it CAN and WILL be canon, huh? what if the story is gonna go where it seems to be headed. what if I say they’re going to kiss on international streaming television. who’s gonna stop me

#I was in the tag on here again so. midnight shitpost time #lokius #but for real the disclaimers are like.... idk #are there Assigned Queerbaiting cops???? or are we policing each other #before anyone takes this too seriously yes I get it’s about ‘hopes’ and keeping fervor down and whatever #but the pendulum swing is just. tiring #to the extent that it has swung #sorry this is not articulate unlike my tweets on this topic semi recently #I will not let the corporations steal my joy preemptively or disappoint me preemptively. if they’re going to I’ll cross that bridge later #otherwise I find it far more exciting and entertaining to presume we live in a world where we get nice things #let me reach for the stars. because by God one day we WILL hit them #also per usual: abolish the nonsense word queerbaiting. Thank you and goodnight #PS I am not actually mad at fans protecting themselves and their emotions. I get the baseline reason. I am annoyed by The Situation #and with the use of the word ‘queerbaiting’ it all rooted in a fundamentally stupid or incorrect or shifting premise #chars loki posts

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shinybulbasaur · 10 months

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TWO OF THEM!!! ft. little vash for scale, lol

my lovely friend wanted a knives loaf and who am I if not a vessel for plushie creation. stuffed animals is my passion

loaf design by @kniveswoods, loaf vash pattern is here: (x)

feel free to shoot me a message if you'd be interested in commissioning a loaf of your own!

#i need to update the pattern cause i caught some typos in it but i am tired and lazy so. that's a problem for later me #later me also wants to make the pattern more polished but i am used to typing scientific protocols so the current layout is all i know :/#anyways i'm so excited to send this guy to mint and start working on the other loafs i have planned! i love having creative hobbies #trigun #idk how to tag lol #my art #i make loafs

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piningprecussionist · 28 days

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Is.. this your cat? Or is this cat.. you?

Oh!

*Kim gently takes Kit (cat) Pine into her arms, smiling softly down at her for a moment.*

Not my cat, no... technically me, yes? Dunno where she came from, exactly, but I think I remember her coughing up a hairball or something onto Scott's coat not that long ago. Devious little thing... I like her, obviously.

#ooc: as you know already beloved asker- i have been dying to get around to this one. look at her... look at the art they have presented us..#ooc: i love her she's so cute shdjhdjfhdjd #(ooc: this almost got colored but. i am. so very tired. always. but rn especially. and i need her to be on the blog publically already--)#pine.txt #asks #rp #kim pine #sp comic #spvtwtg #spto #spvtw #glitterminionking12 #art #fanart #au #i forget what her tag was before but i am making an amendment to it anyway #kitcat pine #like kitkat... do you see my vision....#spto kim #spvtw kim #scott pilgrim kim #spvtwtg kim #spto fanart #spvtw fanart #scott pilgrim fanart #spvtwtg fanart #?#(there's another tag i might like to add to this but i dont know what it is off the top of my head. so. later...)#ooc: i will be posting this one directly BUT bc the queue is. low. i might queue up some. assuming i *can* do more. we will see i guess #not im standard continuity

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brodudemanbroski · 4 days

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CRANBERRY SAUCE!!!!!

please click the full image im actually gonna sob

ignore any wonkines it is literally 12 at night, leave me be. sketch and no text under the cut

me when i do the same pose four times what a loser

#i am so tired can you tell #rambles #my art #explodes #eeeek #am i cooking guys #the beatles #the beatles art #john lennon #john lennon art #how do i tag the beatles again?#beatles fanart #???#im probably missing tags but idc #i havent done a real proper piece in a WHILEEE so this was fun #hopefully will do more later on

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ittybittybumblebee · 5 days

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i want to see exactly how many people actually have thought i am for research because ive gotten this quite a few times from different people i just wanna see how far it goes

#please understand while im not doubting so much now im not going to base off everything by peoples perceptions of my online behavior but #i feel like it does give good insight #i just always have a little hesitation in me because i feel like no one can get a full scope or honest picture of myself to Know me enough #to say that i can trust their opinion of me without knowing me enough in that sense #gahh. cuz i always feel like im doing Just Fine Enough i feel normal enough but im not guhh.#GUHHGGGHGH #it literally wouldnt change anything for me. like im autistic . ok! shrugs my shoulders. i cope i cant to anything more to help myself #than that #do u guys get it. do i have to go eat bricks or do u guys get it. my internal struggle. im like sisyphus #i cant trust other peoples opinions of my and i cant trust my own perceptions #while of course self diagnosis is a wonderful thing i dont want to put a name on myself that serves me no purpose #autism is awesome but do i deserve that title when dont feel like i own it wether i am autistic or not #im just so conflicted.#do you get it. do you get me. am i being reasonable . am i just fighting a truth about myself or are my doubts realistic. but the Evidence.#im so tired #i do not wanna b one of those tiktok girlies saying theyr hyperfixated on cooking pasta #Now do you get me #all my long winded rabbit trail rambles out of me before i finally get to my one point condensed conclusion #and now i just cant delete the rest of my tags because of all my time spent on them #enjoy my indentity crisis lol #i Might delete some of these tags later

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moenmomentsthemoe-en · 2 months

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#tomorrow.....................#delete later #vent #more vent in tags (it gets heavy sorry)#it is like 4am and ik theres a rule that you should never trust what you feel about your life after 3am but i feel like this 24/7 WAHA #mann i #im so fucking scared that im not a good person or friend or anything im trying so hard #i dont know why i feel hurt by things i shouldnt feel hurt by and i dont know why i keep failing to do the things i want to do or #god it probably isnt right for me to vent. i think? i dont know honestly i dont know anything #i dont know anything #i have such amazing friends and people around me theyre good people #im so tired and am so very tempted to just delete this blog delete my socials and disappear off earth or just live as a husk by ignoring al #my emotions and incapabilities and stop bothering everyone #everything is so so confusing and everything has gone to shit around me but the people around me arent at fault theyre good people #it has to be that im not trying hard enough #god i have no idea if im a good person. i dont know if a good person has this much trouble and dumbassery #i am. an adult. 18. adult. i have to be #god i wish i could have an adult to help me out but its just. its just me. its a problem i made and surely only i can figure it out

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moe-broey · 11 months

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WHEW

I've been wanting to make bracelets based on Gilbert Baker's pride flag design for years now tbh, unsure if I wanted to have it be thread friendship-style or beads kinda kandi style... this was fun though! Plus kandi style kind of matches with how I had to improvise w the lettering LMFAO (not enough letters for a specific type of bead, ect -- but also some of it was a creative choice as well, for fun!)

I don't typically share my diy jewelry but!! It's Fucking Pride Month 😤😤😤 Look at my pride bracelets, boy 👁️👁️

#once again i am wondering how to even tag this. what the fuck is this shit!!!!!!!#later i think i wanna update my profile pic to have the lavender stripe flag on it though #esp having learned more about it + it's a really valuable addition.#rn i am. SO tired of working w my hands though i gotta take a break <- is going to play salmon run.#my projects #my kandi #<- maybe? what if i'm a fuckinh poser HAHAHAHAHA sorry #pride

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shummthechumm · 10 months

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since seeing a few posts about TPB and how it treats firestar’s kittypet origins as a flaw he needs to overcome, wouldnt it be amazing if the “fire alone” prophecy was failed in some way? yes, short term, he DID save the clan, but in all the arcs following this?

(looong post under cut)

yeah he’s a decent guy, but his clan immediately turns back to the status quo. sure, lionclan united to defeat tigerclan, but the relationship between wind and thunder deteriorates as soon as windclan rebellion starts. cats within his own clan, who witnessed the impact his very not-in-accordance-to-the-code actions had on defeating tigerstar. aka ONE OF THE BIGGEST TYRANTS IN RECENT CLAN MEMORY. but oh actually everyone dislikes kittypets still in tnp. dustpelt/mousefur especially love to bring up their distaste with the state of thunderclan (”too mixed”). even brambleclaw, his own apprentice, judges cats like daisy based on the fact that she isnt clanborn. it reads as thunderclan respecting firestar in spite of where he came from, instead of them appreciating a major part of his identity that they wouldnt let him forget just a few books ago? you know? getting over their biases and learning to respect others outside the clan?

were these xenophobic ideas not utilized by tigerstar to climb maim and torture not just cats outside the code, but those who dedicated their lives to it? is that...not a sign for introspection??

and on a similar note: the books really want us to know that the only reason scourge was defeated was because he didnt believe in god, which is a really weird conclusion to end this arc on. we see fireheart constantly questioning the code and using his better judgement (most of the time anyway) to do what is the morally righteous thing to do. his unique outlook on clan culture saved a lot of lives. he wanted desperately to find belonging in thunderclan, but often sacrified his safety + position to save lives. but no actually the moral we’re supposed to take is “firestar became leader and proved that his soft kittypet roots couldn’t hold him down!!!” i dont know if him being born in thunderclan wouldve changed his very justice-driven personality, but maybe not being brainwashed from infancy played a factor in many of his choices in TPB.

so with these moments where firestar starts to show some of his conditioning crack through (ex: feeling horrified at the idea of cloudpaw not believing in starclan--and wanting to SHOCK him into being a believer; etc etc), is genuinely an engaging character flaw...that should be treated as a flaw. all of these standards of what a “true warrior” should be--constantly being crammed into his head from a pretty young age; against his own sense of personal identity and moral compass. does he WANT to be seen as a true warrior? does he want away with all of these redundant rules? does he want to redefine what that even means?

even in FQ he is pretty pissed to hear bluestar trying to justify an ENTIRE BRANCH OF THEIR CULTURE being axed off because no one was willing to spare territory. while that book has other issues, its still nice to see glimpses of that characterization i like slipping through. if it was an intentional internal conflict, you can take it even further.

this is why i like to imagine that firestar’s prophecy came from whatever ancient beings sent down the po3 prophecy (i believe in oots they downright confirmed that the ancients likely sent starclan/the tribe of endless hunting the po3 prophecy decades before even mapleshade’s time). firestar may have served as the short term solution, maybe as a way to get set up the three in thunderclan. im 90% their prophecy outdates his, anyway. what was the intent of this prophecy, truly?

was he meant to save the clan(s) from a few one and done baddies, or was something more long-term intended. if so...did he fail???

how does firestar cope with this? does he reflect? he knows about the po3 prophecy--what if he were to learn of the manipulation his kids went through by the forces he was taught to worship? ik canon firestar doesnt rlly react to the secret reveal post po3, but...in a better series...would he stand for it? how could he react, knowing that starclan targeted his very bloodline for a prophecy far older than the clans themselves?

in a different world, would bluestar had even accepted him had it not been for the prophecy?? where would he be then? how would he fare with the knowledge that many cats he idolized when he was younger--cats he grieved for, were roped into perpetuating the unhealthy cycle of reliance both starclan and the living clans have for each other?

......is starclan even the source of the fire alone prophecy??? if not them, then who was??>?? how far did this go?? how far is starclan willing to go to get their desired outcome?

give me existential firestar, PLEASE

#rewrite tag #wc #shummy screaming into the void #longpost #longasspost #again fire shouldve partnered with scourge again #but also firestar living and realizing that his position in tc #at least in arc one #was VERY conditional...on a much deeper way than he previously couldve ever imagined #my thoughts are very scrambled i have a lot #i apologize if anything is unclear feel free to reply or rb with ur thoughts #know i mostly focused on tiger here but also brokenstar is also a monster produced directly by the clan and the codes most toxic traits #thanks raggedstar #uh oh starclan its actually not good to meddle in the lives #of living cats its not like u directly spawned chars like broken and tiger while doing so #maybe i will edit/elabortate more later i am very tired

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turtleblogatlast · 21 days

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Don’t think I ever quite said what my LGBTQ+ headcanons are for the boys, so these are my current thoughts! Always changing of course but this is what I feel most strongly right now.

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt headcanons #rise donnie #rise leo #rise mikey #rise raph #donnie and leo’s sexualities being practically swapped was unintentional but it works way too well #same with mikey and raph tbh it was a happy accident #anyway I kinda hc raph as the type who doesn’t care about physical appearance just if you fight lol #Mikey’s more than happy with friends and family #Donnie is a BIG romantic but he needs time to sus a person out fully before he gets the hots for them #leo meanwhile isn’t keen on romance unless it’s with someone he grows to really really REALLY trust #I could go on and probably will later (knowing me) but it is late and I am tired haha #turtle art tag #curious as to what everyone else headcanons #the only one of these I’ll defend forever is Bi (female-leaning) donnie and trans leo #all the others can change over time but I really like where they’re sitting right now #I hope these are the right flags too because it was kinda hard to find them #went looking for transmasc flag in particular but I couldn’t find a solid agreed upon version 😭#ngl a big part of why I hc mikey as aro is because of a pun #my phone often misspells aromantic as aromatic and- and you get it- because aromatic herbs and- and Mikey is a chef do YOU GET IT #note that while I hc leo as bisexual (male-leaning) I still think he’s prob closer to demi in that as well just not as far into the spectrum #if that makes sense #headcanons are fun and hard to narrow down at the same time alas #I made this in like an hour can you tell djjdjd #I drew them all from memory so if there’s anything wrong…shhh #and if you’re wondering for April and Splinter #Both are Bisexual (female-leaning) but April is also Panromantic #I almost wanna make Splinter demiromantic too so Big Mama’s betrayal hits just a bit harder

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daz4i · 3 months

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how and why is there discourse about whether or not certain queer identities exist/if people should be allowed(???) to use them. why is "people know their own identity better than you ever could, and they're the only one who get a say on what they are" such a tough concept to grasp

i think if you find yourself offended by the label someone uses (especially if they're a stranger) or think it invalidates your own, it's a good idea to look inside yourself and question why that may be. more often than not, it's a result of insecurity or uncertainty of your own identity (or many other things, but i won't make a whole list here). whatever reason it is, until you resolve it, you shouldn't take it out on people for having an identity you don't understand

many have said it before but it's worth saying over and over. infighting only helps our oppressors. conservatives don't care if you're a cis gay or a xenogender aegosexual aplatonic lesbian, they hate all of us either way. trying to fit in by going for people who are easier targets for them isn't gonna help you, it'll just alienate you from your own community, and you're never gonna please them. the momentary rush you get from hearing you're not like "one of /those/ gay people" is not worth it and is gonna do more harm in the long run, i assure you

also, it is important to me to say this, but having some less than nice kneejerk reaction caused by confusion about an identity you don't understand doesn't mean you're a bad person or anything. as long as you aren't mean to that person, and you take a second to think smth along the lines of "wait a minute, this isn't any of my business" after having said reaction, you're good 👍 a lot of reflexive reactions we have to things are ingrained into us simply by. well. living in a society 🤡 and you're not terrible for having those thoughts. it's your actions that matter, and your second thought (the "wait, why did i just think that?") is more defining of your actual character and morals than your reflex. i know that having thoughts like this, even tho they're unwanted, can very easily make one spiral, so it's important to me that whoever needs to hear this knows this doesn't make you a bad person 🙏 you're good, keep taking actions to be good, accept other people even if you don't understand them, and you're on the right track :)

#i considered adding that last part in the tags but i figured it'll be too long for that 😭#i noticed i'm posting a lot of rants lately. sorry. but i do wanna make sure no one's actually feeling bad over them #if i complain about something that you do or call it mean and such. that doesn't make you a bad person #you can always work to change and grow 👍 it's not easy but it starts with smaller steps than you'd expect #and now i just switched to a whole other topic from my original point. oops #i do firmly believe that any discourse about someone's identity is dumb as fuck #seeing it in poll blogs always makes me 😐😬 like how is it any business for any of us. why is this up for debate #if a person says they're queer then they are. they don't need to pass some test or go through initiation to be accepted #if they feel comfortable with a certain word that's awesome. why does it matter to *you* which word they use #'they're only using this microlabel to feel special' so? is there anything wrong with that?#'this label contradicts [insert other identity that falls under the same umbrella]' ok. but does that hurt anyone in any way #a lot of identities can even be self contradictory. does it matter tho? does it affect anyone in any way?#'they might realize that label is wrong later' again. what's the harm in that.#i don't blame anyone for these thoughts bc like. this is how cishets view a lot of the even more common labels #so you're basically taught to think this way from day one. that doesn't mean you need to stick to that thought process #you might have these reflexes forever no matter how hard you try. but you'll get quicker about moving on from them #but you do have to try. you do have to realize that other people's identities aren't about you #anyway. this post feels like batting at a hornets nest. really hope i don't get some bad faith readers here lol #(i noticed a lot of places one could apply bad faith but like it's 3:30 am i'm too tired to add this many disclaimer.#so i'm gonna trust you to not jump to conclusions and to approach this in good faith okay? mwah 🖤)#also my whole ramble abt morality (in the tags too) is relevant to. any topic really #i may just make a separate post about it really. .....tomorrow tho.

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spookyscarycreepydollgirl · 5 months

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NSFW Warning: This contains people mentioning having sex. They do not have sex in this, but it is mentioned that they did. Honestly not sure how required this warning is in this case but I’m not taking any chances.

Bastion: *brooding after having sex with Ida for the first time*

Ida: *tired but staying awake to address whatever angsty nonsense this is* “Hey you, that’s a very thinky frown”

Bastion: “Ida, what are we?”

Ida: *hums* “Good question, well I’m squatting in your freaky death house and you’re trying to eat me sooo Tom and Jerry?”

Bastion: “I only meant that we just had sex”

Ida: *drily* “So did Tom and Jerry.”

Bastion: *fretting* “I really like you.” Ida: “Yep, that’s been made very clear.”

Bastion: “But I want to eat you”

Ida: “Also, been made pretty clear.”

Bastion: “And I would like to do this with you again”

Ida: “Me too actually.”

Bastion: *crescendo of fretting* “But Ida, if I caught you, I would still devour you, in fact I feel hungrier for you now than I did before.”

Ida: “Mn, creepy, but I’ll allow it”

Bastion: *finally notices that Ida is being smart with him* “Ida I get the distinct impression that you aren’t taking this conversation particularly seriously”

Ida: “Bastion, we just fucked.”

Bastion: “Language.”

Ida: *sticks tongue out* “I am tired and the post coitus fuzzies aren’t going to make my input on this any sounder but: I’ve never actually felt safe, at any point in my life, not really, so if you’re worried I’ve misread the danger you pose, then you’re wrong, I don’t trust you to not be a predator Bastion, but…*intertwines her hand with his* I am trusting you with this.”

Bastion: “This” *spoken reverently* “I want this so badly Ida, but what if tomorrow is the day I catch you?”

Ida: *reaches out with other hand and boops his nose* “I think you’re getting ahead of yourself spider boy, but, on the off chance you get very very lucky, I’m not going to hold your true nature against you.”

Bastion: “Could you perhaps promise that? I know humans are not as bound by these things as Fae, but it would comfort me to hear you promise.”

Ida: *rolls eyes* “Bastion, I promise not to hold you trying to eat me or succeeding at eating me against you just because we’ve had sex”

Bastion: “It’s silly I know, I want to devour you, but I do not want to betray you or hurt you. I thought to keep how I felt a secret from you. When I realised I loved you, I was ashamed of myself, I have always been greedy, hunger has ever been my nature, but to want your heart and affection, even though I could never resist devouring you, it seemed a degree of selfishness outrageous even to me”

Ida: “Well, I won’t say it’s not greedy, but I will say I don’t really mind” *yawns*

Bastion: “Ida?”

Ida: *sleepily* “Yes Bastion?”

Bastion: “If I catch you can I still kiss you? Can I hold you gently before I eat you? Can I address you warmly even when you are digesting inside me?

Ida: “Sure Bastion” *yawns* “I don’t see mnn why not…” *falls asleep*

Bastion: “…” *holds her tightly*

#Not sure if canon I just wanted to do the dialogue equivalent of that one couple meme.#monster/human #spider fae #my ocs #Discussed fatal vore #Pred who can’t not want to eat Prey struggling with the fact they love Prey #Ida really exposing her internet history with that Tom and Jerry joke.#pred/prey relationship #they had sex and Bastion frets about it #I can’t write sex yet so this really probably isn’t canon. More like just me playing around with the characters.#Does it count as monster fucking if it’s the human avatar?#vore talk #in the sense that they are talking about it #I am not talking about it I’m just writing their dialogue.#I think I’ve used the tag this way before.#What Was Said: Can I still treat you romantically even if I eat you?#What Was Meant: Am I truly allowed to love you even though I am a monster?#What Ida’s Tired Mind Heard: The first one #She’ll figure out the second one later. When she isn’t sleepy.#Monster/Human Romance #Discussed Romantic Vore #The issue for Bastion isn’t really that they had sex #It’s that sex is a sign of closeness and affection and Bastion is incapable of not wanting to eat her.#Essentially he’s worried he’s leading her on or setting her up to feel betrayed.#As paradoxical as it might seem he both wants to devour her and does not want to hurt her.

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