#I apparently love to hate myself! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

radiates-confusion · 10 months

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Oh my god..... The 'Watercolour Eyes' tiktok audio owns my brain atm (Dear Arkansas Daughter is the name of the full song and it's pretty decent)

So I though, hey, let's have a fun time and attempt to animate a cute little dnd part intro, cause why not.

It won't be that bad, I said. I'm sure I'll get the base sketch and and some of the animatic frames done in an evening, I said. It won't take up too much time, I said.

I AM A DUMBASS. NEVER SAY OTHERWISE.

I have spent the last like.... 4-5 hours trying to get my shitty little storyboard for the basic bitch shapes of the people and scenery (and when I say shitty, it is shitty but it tells me what I want to know) only to realise I have quite probably been trying to line it up with the wrong fucking layer of this section of the fucking song!

I am persevering, because I am an ambitious dumbass, and this audio owns my brain, but like...... 5 hours.... C'mon....

#I'm an idiot sometimes #And it sucks #But I'm also kinda in love with what I'm tryna do #artist #And I ador the idea of dabbling in animation anyway #I probably shouldn't have started with a roughly 35-40 second audio #But oh well #I apparently love to hate myself!#Plus #Who needs sleep!#Me #I need sleep #I just refuse to admit it #Anyway #I'm grabbing a snack and then imma get back to working on when the fuck I want these frames to shift.#buh bye #Unhinged tagging

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veinsfullofstars · 1 month

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"Still trying to intimidate me? Cute."

(ID: Kirby series fanart of Meta Knight and Galacta Knight based off of a couple dynamics template by @/ReddsMess on Twitter. Original template and source below the cut, as well as a HAL language variant. Top-left panel - high-angle shot of MK lit from above, standing firm and glaring up through his mask, his wings curled out and breaching the panel in places, subtitled "Well well..." Top-right panel - low-angle shot of GK lit from below, looming in the air and leering down through his mask, his wings curled out and his hands spread wide in challenge, both of which breach the panel in places, subtitled "Look who came to see me..." Bottom panel - MK & GK stand next to each other, the latter leaning towards the former and gently caressing the side of his mask with the back of one hand, grinning smugly and wrapping a wing around the knight, subtitled "My Knightmare." MK stands stiffly with his fists clenched at his sides, blushing vividly and glaring away from the warrior. A little flurry of white hearts emanate from GK, while one small one hovers above MK. END ID.)

Started 03/30/24, finished 04/02/24.

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HAL language variant:

Original by ReddsMess (template link) NOTE: The artist has marked 16-18+ in their bio, so browse at your own risk!

#veins art #veins ships #veins fanart #fanart #kirby series #kirby #meta knight #galacta knight #galacta knight x meta knight #metagala #couple dynamics #couples meme #meme redraw #pose redraw #template redraw #toxic couple or idiots in love? you decide #I'm a sucker for bespoke pet names apparently #real-bat-wings MK my beloved <3 #veins “keeps drawing feathered wings despite how much they hate doing so” fullofstars #also I saw @post-it-notes7's mirror!GK design and now I will never not draw GK in heels #swallow tailed galacta knight #<- (inspired by @starflungwaddledee of course)#*gasp* no sparkles??#the sacrifices we make for a t m o s p h e r e #hmm I wonder if this is where the Childhood Friends AU would go if MK and DDD never got back together...#(but I get ahead of myself - that's a story for another time)#(me: *slaps self on wrist" veins no! bad goblin! no more AUs! especially not AUs of AUs! stop it!)#veinsfullofstars

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flovoid · 2 months

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What a good thing we lose? What a bad thing we knew ♬

#majima land #roo medici #mingyue majima #naomi butler #ohh I so freaking hate myself for this.#me: i hate love triangle!-#-also me: unintentionally doing a love triangle in sims #like guys. in my defense THEY did it themselves #mingyue started crushing hard on roo when he went with her on that mt.komorebi festival (literally her hometown)#naomi LITERALLY FLIRTED WITH ROO the first time they met- she already saw him very attractive oh lord #till then roo & naomi really had close bonding I won’t lie #mingyue is the shy type apparently she always runs away even tho shes crushin on roo n thinks hes very attractive #AND FREAKING ROO LIKS THEM BOTH EQUALLY OMG-#plz mr. equal man stop playing w my heart and choose for me. like- plz #and the worst part??? I CANT CHOOSE EITHER.#sims 4 #ts4 #simblr

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3-aem · 1 month

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im bored of animal crossing will be drawing gj again will be mental illness-ing once more.

#women make less than men because we dont know how to ask for more!!!!!#and thats so fucking true my ex manager had to coach me how to ask for more #and then i entered the call and went oh u want to give me less than what i asked for great okay sure love you bye #!!!!!!!!! *looking at myself in the mirror* i hate u #the noise my cat makes when hes frustrated #or really really excited i cant tell which is which anymore #my ex manager is also like lawyer core #ie not a lawyer but loves reading contracts for some uknown reason #and he was pointing out all the stupid phrasing #and i was sitting there like sir to be completely candid i do not even comprehend what the line is saying #let alone what it is suggesting and its implications #apparently when you get those emails like this is confidential dont share it!!!#u can u can like totally share it its not enforceable #the sender even knows its not enforceable they just put it there anyway #what are you gonna do with that info heck if i know!

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takethelx3 · 1 month

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They're bathing they're chilling ☺️ sweet boys lovely boys ☺️ would never harm a soul ☺️

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user-name-h3re · 3 months

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If Nurf ever does ONE horrible thing or ever so slightly CONSIDERS hurting Preston in the new episodes i'm going to projectile vomit and gouge my eyes out the ENTIRE REASON HE WENT TO CAMP WAS TO BE BETTER WHY IS HE THE ONLY ONE THATS HASN'T GOTTEN BETTER WH-

#camp camp #cc nurf #the concept of this character is so good but it's so apparent the crew does not give a shit about him #like come ooooooon #i love the show to death and i get that he's not supposed to be cared about because he's a background character #but he really went from a bully who turned out to be suprisingly sensitive and self aware to a steretypical cartoon bully who says #big words sometimes #like i know he wasn't going to get a big amazingly written emotional character development but even comedy wise it's just lazy #the main reason i loved thks character was because he was hilarious and unique and how he's neither of those #i knoooow i'm going to hate him so much during the up coming episodes and i'm bracing myself for that #venting #uuugh

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dollsome-does-tumblr · 5 months

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so, the most recent novel i managed to actually finish writing, three long years ago, was the book of my absolute lifelong dreams and most of the time i just leave it sitting on my computer and pretend it doesn't exist because i feel too tenderly about it and i'm too proud of it and it's agony to me. these feelings are, for whatever reason, unbearable hell. but like once a year i work up the courage to reread it, and every time i'm like, "god DAMN! who wrote this?? this is exactly what i've wanted to read my whole life!!!!!!! it's simply delightful!" and then i remember that oh yeah, it's me!

#i feel like i should vow to try to query this thing like 50 times just because i love it so much and i owe it to my own love of it #and then when i get rejected because it's 155k and that's insane (but it NEEDS TO BE!) i can at least say i tried #i don't get what it says about me that i wrote the book of my dreams and now i'm too embarrassed so i pretend it doesn't exist #instead of trying to get it published #as it is apparently my lifelong goal to be a published novelist #why is my brain wired this way!??!?!?!?!#i think i'm just too scared that everyone else will hate it and it will hurt my feelings too much because it's so me #it is truly and completely my sweet little baby #and it has the same word count as jane austen's emma which i only discovered after i finished writing it #fate!!!!!!!#dollsome's deep thoughts #it's my birthday so i'm allowing myself this really self-indulgent post #getting older and still never being a (non-self-) published novelist: the story of me

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oumaheroes · 9 months

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Have a paragraph from a WIP I had hoped to finish this weekend but which is quickly spiralling incredibly out of control:

‘There are so many people.’ On Alba’s shoulders, Cymru grips the wooden posts to keep them both steady. ‘I didn’t know there could even be so many.’ ‘There will be more than this in a few days.’ Mama says. She finishes wrapping Albion to her back and glances up at Cymru and Alba where they stand atop the woodstore, peering over the mound’s defences. In the early morning light, shapes and activity emerge from the retreating shadows. Down the hill, all around the base of the settlement, people are erecting temporary shelters and pitching their animals. Winter solstice is here, with its darkest and coldest of nights, but this year it is apparently a particularly special one.

Cymru doesn’t really understand why. Something about the stars, or the years. Or where the sun hits the ancient stones nearby as it rises and falls- a tradition older than even Mama, passed down from the people before her who stood the circles of stones so tall all over their islands. All Cymru knows is that it is busy, with more people than he has ever seen before going to and fro and glancing his way whenever he goes near them. When Cymru and his family had arrived to stay for the winter a few months ago, this mound had been nothing more than home to one tribe. Now, the mound and the lands around it was home to people from at least seven. Cymru’s eyes pass over all of them, stretched out to the lake on the horizon, his breath clouding in front of him like smoke.

#heroes wips #I both love and hate how long this is becoming #love because I'm having a blast writing it #but hate because I really hoped it'd be done by now and i'm too excited to keep it to myself without sharing something #it is already bigger than the previous two chapters #Cymru apparently has a lot to say

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lesbiansforboromir · 7 months

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oh OH hO spicey ohhh having a spicey little tantrum about the boromir tag don't listen to me at all do NOT listen I mean it I mean it this is so petty

#text post #Gonna go ffffucking crazy- people have to bend so far over backwards to make Boromir bad that they just full out ignore his entire characte #and bend even further over backwards to make the elves all better than him too like jesus christ #oh is it BOROMIR who would be bitter about dying in the defense of Rohan??? whose despair is just so self serving and requires legolas to #slap him out of it yes uhuh that seems reasonable seems like BOROMIR would just hate the idea of dying for allies he so clearly loved #when in the full actual canonical scene of his death he dies for two random guys he met five months ago and all he has to say about it is #he failed he is sorry he has paid #BOROMIR definitely doesn't deal well with his own looming death and would definitely snap at other people about it ignoring all the decades #he has been under the looming shadow of death and has been known as not-grim and loved by many and has done his duty almost like #that is literally all his life has been up until this point #and of course of course it's ARAGORN who he's supposed to be fighting for because he's SOO impactful on Boromir's psyche he meant so much t #him apparently ggrsfsfgrrffffggfrgr #everyone wants to hit boromir oh yeah he's so annoying his hopelessness is such a burden and everyone else has to deal with him #if ANY of you go looking for what I'm talking about and do anything about it I'll slaughter you myself these are such inside thoughts the #comic is good #I shouldn't even be angry it's the natural conclusion from a story that tells you Boromir is bad but does not spell out that it's because h #isn't 'faithful' to god #they just tell you he is 'too despairing' and he 'desires power' and he 'doesn't have hope' (hope being a proxy for faith and Boromir not #believing in Aragorn means he doesn't believe in Eru's chosen leaders and his 'grand plan')#despair being a sin because it means you are selfishly giving into your own desires for a good life for you and the people you love #rather than accepting that all is God's plan and this life is only meaningful if you are defending Eru's right to the throne of the world #But that isn't spelled out so for despair to be treated as evil in the story people apply a secular understanding of 'bad despair'#already a TERRIBLE idea btw genuinely awful to percieve hopelessness as a personal moral failing #I suppose thats it actually the major reason it gets to me cus hopelessness and despair is a base aspect of my existence like #I am in despair pretty much constantly and I know a lot of other disabled people with similar sentiments #and the urging from people to 'have hope' is at this point sickening and infuriating and maddening to me it is disconnected from my reality #WHICH is demonstrably why I care about Boromir and Denethor so much no one meets them where they are no one sits in their reality with them #they are deeply relatable in their dealing with dispair namely; they just live and accomplish and strive along with their sarcasm and #black humour through their dark grueling lives and do what duty demands and try to hold onto their crumbling family relationships #and then they each have uniquely cathartic ends to those lives

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chloelouygo · 4 months

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We are coming into the year of the dragon and this is wonderful for every single yugioh fan, except me, who is the only person in the entire world apparently who doesn't like dragons 🥲

#i just dont get it !!!#like they're just mid !!!#theyre like... alright at best ??#and i hate that i am the ONLY person to feel this way #i feel like i have to defend myself soo hard because it feels so controversial to ever admit #like i feel actual GUILT and SHAME over this #i fear people will unfollow me for this #even though it's literally just a preference for what animal i like or dont like #like if someone just isnt into horses you dont get a mob of people booing them and trying to tell them why theyre wrong #but i feel like ive had that with dragons ??#idk its like when someone says theyre lesbian and your family are like hey have you met Derek derek is amazing you've not met a derek before #people be like og you dont like dragons have you just tried X francise ? youll love it trust #like NO!! i just want to be respected for what is apparently the weirdest and least common thing in tue whole world to not fuck with #i feel very invalid if im honest #especially as a ygo fan where so mych of everything is dragons #i dont even like the duels im literally here for the characters #im not a monster girlie 😭#i have said ky oeace im sorry for the vent #happy year of the dragon to those who celebrate but i will be mourning the year of the rabbit for the next 11 years #whew vent over yall can hate me and unfollow me now 😔😥#im so sorry

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prismit · 4 months

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FINALLYYYY BEAT 5BC ALL THE WAY THROUGH WITHOUT ASSIST MODE. SHOUTOUT TO DEATH'S SCYTHE FOR CARRYING ALL THE WAY UP TO THE GIANT and then a baseball bat which was incapable of landing crits on the final boss with the set i had but pulled through with huge damage anyways lmao

#ghost town... 2!#dead cells #(btw to clarify: i am NOT an anti-assist mode elitist; i just wanted to challenge myself by winning the “intended” way eventually)#(and eventually has finally arrived YIPPEEEE)#also funny how nerves work lol i got to the final boss' last phase without getting hit #and then proceeded to choke and almost die at the last moment lmaooo #i don't really struggle with him now because of the amount of time i had to spend on my first run with him using infinite retries #using a SEVERELY UNDERLEVELED panchaku and a shield that can't parry reliably (alucard's shield I HATE IT NOW & never take it)#but yea nerves will still fuck you up no matter how much practice you have lol. extremely fun boss fight tho i love it #oh yea btw the set i used:#death's scythe - front line shield - diverse deck (electrodynamics) - giant whistle - rampart in backpack #then switched from scythe to baseball bat at the end of sepulcher #armadillopack all the way through. point blank and gastronomy until i switched from death's scythe to baseball bat before the giant #then traded the last 2 for spite and open wounds (baseball bat had bonus to bleeding enemies) for giant and hotk #switched spite for gastronomy for astrolab (which CAME IN CLUTCH btw)#and then finally finished with armadillopack/open wounds/gold plating bc i got scared lol (APPARENTLY A GOOD CALL THOUGH)

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eirgachuair · 8 months

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my toxic trait is that anytime a sentence in irish doesn't start with 'Tá' 'Is' 'Ní' Níl' 'An' 'Cén fáth' or 'Cád é' i make a surprised pikachu face and all thoughts leave my head.

#im tRYING OKAY IM JUST REALLY DUMB #im trying to read a book in irish bc i hate myself apparently #a sentence in there is 'Cailín breá ard a bhí inti'#so far i've figured out a girl was (something/maybe lovely/pretty bc breá) tall (thanks wikipedia for the inti part bc i was STRUGGLIGN)#focloir and teanglann.ie hate me so much atp #or maybe its 'she was a (whtever the fuck) girl #im having a crisis over here why did i think i could do this #irish language #gaeilgeblr #irish #gaeilge #ailillgachuair #languages #irishblr

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helennorvilles · 7 months

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very inconvenient when your period starts affecting your planned wardrobe decisions like what a fucking disaster

#i was gonna re-wear these overalls tomorrow but apparently no i won't!!!!#all my warm weather saturday hopes have been dashed #but no its fine i'll wear normal pants and just believe in the power of self-love #in that i'll feel okay about my stomach instead of wishing it were hidden behind overalls #see im tipsy and that's why im like. fine even saying this outloud as a thing. wine is the answer to all hidden brain thoughts.#but also. god. i hate that i ever feel bad about myself. how fucking cringe. @me just get good at self esteem #my post tag

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hecksupremechips · 7 days

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Girl like. The reason he said "this is how it should be" and faced death with a smile....is cuz he wanted to die. For 2 years he sat there thinking he was worthless and deserved to die. If he hadn’t be shot, his death would’ve been suicide, he was fully planning to die in a gutter somewhere undetected. When saying "this is how it should be" hes literally saying "don’t cry because I’m dying, my death is a good thing actually because I fucking suck and you are better off without me". I don’t think that’s badass even slightly, it’s actually really sad and really shitty. Shinjiro is so convinced that he deserves to die and hates the idea of anyone giving a shit about him because he literally can’t wrap his mind around the idea that he will be missed when he’s gone, that his death is a bad thing actually. And his last words were meant to be comforting because he fully did not intend for anyone to be there when he died, he intended to die alone, so he says them as a reminder that he’s not worth crying over

Personally, if it were me, if I was holding my dying best friend in my arms who was deeply depressed and suicidal and he said "this is how it should be" uh. I wouldn’t admire him for it??? Like am I losing my mind when I say the way this game handles Shinji is bad or is anyone else seeing this too 😰

#its like okay listen i understand the basic math of any persona game they say things and everything they say is actually #very bad when you think about it for more than 3 seconds #like what theyre intending to do with the death of this character is be like oh no your sad friend dies tragically thats so saddddd #but that doesnt mean you cant live a wonderful life full of meaning you cant let grief consume you life is beautiful awagga #and i guess shinji is a specific character whos used cuz i guess its more tragic that he never realized he was worthy of life and shit #and i guess its also like ‘dont be like this guy who let grief consume him and then died you gotta Be Different’#which i dont. love. that last part cuz if you think about shinji and what led him down this road #its like. of course hes depressed! he accidentally killed a woman with a child when he was 16!#he himself is an orphan and he just made some other kid an orphan as well and it happened cuz his persona went out of control #which very much can translate to ‘this must mean im dangerous and can hurt everyone if im not kept under control’#so of course he isolated himself and believed he was evil and became suicidal like who wouldnt feel that way #like am i supposed to be mad he left sees and took drugs cuz uh while i dont think isolation or Evil Drug is good for his mental health #i dont think him continuing to fight in sees is something he can just easily do again given how he killed someone like he shouldnt have to #be a part of this thing anymore like how would he even safely get castor to not do that??? he cant kill more people on accident!#so yeah like using shinji as an example of bad coping mechanisms is already just. a big fucking oof to me like it just feels like the game #is saying he shouldve gotten over it and simply not be suicidal and stayed on the team. idk if thats the intent but uh it wouldnt faze me #cuz persona games are notoriously awful at writing characters who are traumatized and abused #but what makes everything even worse is how the game kinda like. acts like shinjis death is a stepping stone #like we’re supposed to use it as a wake up call and understand the stakes but keep going on anyways #and akihiko and Ken get. ‘great character development’ according to the game telling you they have now developed #but damn all akihiko is is just repressed he cries for 3 seconds and then is like I SHOULD MAN UP and then neglects a depressed child #shinjis dying words are words to live by now even though they piss me the fuck off like girl am i crazy HES FUCKING #HES TELLING ME NOT TO CRY OVER HIM BECAUSE HE SHOULD BE DEAD ACTUALLY AND THIS IS A GOOD THING ACTUALLY #like if the game wants us to still find meaning in life despite losing someone it just really hurts that shinji has to die for that to work #apparently. cuz the character i see myself in is shinji. not some perfect prettyboy who does everything perfectly and has 4 gfs #his death seems like a punishment for bad behavior. the bad behavior being of course depression and drug use. and im simply supposed to be #better than that if i want to live. and we dont get to form a connection with him cuz thats gayyyyy #and his death is like a NOBLE HEROIC SACRIFICE idk its just such bullshit to me i hate it so bad #how is killing a suicidal guy and then treating it as admirable that he said ‘this is how it should be’ supposed to make me feel #makes me feel sick personally and it ruins the entire game’s theme to me because its fucking shallow and the story is bad and im tired

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cashmere-caveman · 8 months

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when seon-ho had bang-won's horse put down bc bang-won was being a dick that was foreplay actually

#sorry waiting for my friend to teleparty tteotm w me so u get shitposts in the meantime #my country: the new age #i'm not a huge bang-won fan myself but i cannot deny that whatever hateful little mlm hostility he and seon-ho have got #is highly entertaining #hwi has two boyfriends he both loves very much and they just cannot fucking stand each other #made worse by the way they're intentional parallels and how each hopes hwi likes them more #and bang-won thinks he has the upper hand for a while but thats only bc he isn't moving directly against seon-ho #bc as hui-jae alr knows. hwi does have priorities. they only become apparent under genuine duress but. he Does play favourites #mctna

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dracolizardlars · 8 months

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Just learned that Musical Theatre People fucking hate it when people in the audience sing along. So glad I'm not really into musicals, literally what is the point

#yes yes yes I know all the reasons why they hate it but I just literally can't imagine not singing along if I loved the musical #band concerts >>>> musical theatre performances y'all don't know how to have fun apparently #anyway genuinely glad I learned this so I know in the event I ever attend a professional musical theatre performance #which could happen because... well pretty much every single friend I have is into musicals #so tje odds of me ending up going to one with someone at some point are high #I absolutely love Sweeney Todd myself but have no desire whatsoever to see a professional performance of it is that weird?#I've seen it at my school and at my tiny local theatre and I'm happy with that seriously #also love love love LOVE the movie version #nothing could ever beat the movie for me #draco speaks

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