#I don't remember which one I've posted

[nekoekko-art]

Canto 6 brainrot will resume shorty but in the mean time, some more Jade Whale!!

trans in pic description!

#didn't know this ship is called Jade Whale I thought that was a literature reference- #I don't remember which one I've posted #which one I haven't so if there's a dupe I'm sorryyyy #muah #NekoEkko #Neko's art #Ekko's art #my art #fanart #project moon #limbus company #ishmael #limbus ishmael #hong lu #limbus hong lu

[eerna]

the ancient hero armor set in TotK is like "so yeah the Hero from the first Calamity was actually not Hylian. he wasn't Zonai either. he was a secret third thing that has no name and the only other example can be found in weird statues in the Depths. HOWEVER he does wear Zonai clothes! but also Hylian body paint. no we will not elaborate further nor ever xoxo <3" insane absolutely INSANE

#did the first depths quest which made me go look at the statues again which made me go HEY. HEY WAIT. YOU GUYS LOOK FAMILIAR. #which sent me down the rabbit hole of trying to decipher the design. it has now been 48 hours i have redrawn it a whole lot of times and #added a zonai/hylian zelda to match. i've missed this sm #next up: trying to figure out architectural style development of post-zonai hyrule in relation to the great plateau #p sure the fabled hylian stonemasons just carved over fabled zonai era hylian stonemasons which is great #i don't remember what exactly that one area beneath the castle said abt rauru and the building. i think i will have to go to my old #save file to check it out. all to try and place when the first calamity happened <3 #totk liveblog #loz liveblog

[kyouka-supremacy]

I think we should just bring back Wungo Wednesday and start a fandom collective anime rewatch

#Because otherwise I can feel I won't last much longer #Because like. The last two hyperfixations of mine ended the moment I started feeling like there wasn't any new content #And two days ago in one day I started a new manga a new book and rewatching a favourite show #Whereas I hadn't started anything new in the two years ever since I got into bsd. Which makes it NOT a good sign #But the bsd anime has now ended for one month and 25 days and that's the last time the plot actually moved forward. #And if I counted right. The manga took 4 chapters (that is chapters 110-111) to adapt 6 minutes #That means it's going to take another 12 months (18 minutes left to adapt. that's 12 more chapters) to catch up with the anime #Yeah I'm not. sticking around this long with nothing new to see I'm sorry #Best case scenario I take a one year hiatus but that doesn't make it sound likely that I'll be back #And I know it's fresh news as early as this morning that author said they were introducing a new character but like. #They also said they finished writing this arc like. One year and half ago if I remember correctly? #And we still have yet to see the end of i t so... #That is to say. I'll probably be starting an anime rewatch starting next Wednesday. I've been meaning to do it for a while anyway #I don't want to leave the fandom I like the one chapter a month format #On the positive news I still have a queue of original posts that spans over ten months #And I was meaning to start the reblogs queue too in these days. So there's that #random rambles

[prettyboysdontlookatexplosions]

the thing about rachel animorphs being terribly characterized in all her ghostwritten books but one (and even that one is like. it's not amazing rachel narration but it DOES have the most romantic plot of all time so i forgive it*) to a degree that none of the other characters are plagued by is that to me it feels very revealing about us as a Culture bc it's like. the thing about rachel is that she is a hot blonde who kicks ass. and she's also a complex individual with many sides to her, including (i think if you read her non ghost written books and even just the slice of her narration we get before she dies in the last book this really jumps out undeniably) an extremely real and tender strain of sweetness. and this comes out in some of her scenes in books narrated by other characters. but in her own books, where she's narrating, it's like, they simply cannot understand the assignment, when the assignment is "hot kickass blonde but make her also a real person." it's like that old toast essay about getting insanely obsessed with ophelia because the alternative was admitting that a man needs to be as talented as shakespeare to write a sad girl who's also a human being except it's you have to be as good as k. a. applegate (the shakespeare of monthly mass market paperback children series) to write a girl who is hot and awesome and a human being.

*the most romantic plot of all time is that they have to acquire a beached sperm whale to go down under the water and attempt to subdue a giant squid so that the whole squad can acquire it so they can go deal with the problem on the ancient submerged spacecraft that's fucking up their allies the chee (androids created by the now extinct race of aliens who invented dogs). anyway so rachel hates water because she hates things she can't control and her coping mechanism for dealing with fear is walking into it head on so she wants to be one of the whales precisely because of how badly she doesn't want to be one of the whales (overall her characterization in this book i do think is solid, just the Tone is not quite 100% in her voice IMO), so when they're drawing straws she makes eyes at tobias to use his hawk vision to tell her what's the short straw, and he's like "no i am not going to help you drown yourself on purpose" and she makes eyes at him harder and then he's like "ugh fine" and tells her, and then he draws the other short straw on purpose even though he hates water more than anything but not for rachel control freak reasons, it's because he's a bird and the containment of water freaks him the hell out and also when he demorphs out in the ocean it's not into a shape that can, like, doggie paddle. which first of all is soooo funny and also good rachel characterization because rachel is like constitutionally incapable of thinking ahead for 5 seconds to "obviously the boy who loves me who would love me anyway but for whom i am like literally his primary tie to humanity because he lives as a red tailed hawk and spends his days perched in his trees hunting small mammals is going to insist on coming with me on the scary underwater squid mission just like every other time i have done anything ever" and also because jake gets super fucking mad at her about it which is like getting mad at a fish for swimming. but then the best part is they're down there and both spooked to hell about it because the deep sea is crazy scary and because, again, THEY BOTH HATE THIS CONCEPT SO BAD and are only here because of rachel's psychological problems and true love. and while trying to get their minds off the skin-crawling nightmare of it rachel lets it slip that some dude asked her out and they have this AMAAAZING back and forth where they're both being incredibly snotty because of how they are totally in love and also little babies who have just barely started acknowledging this to themselves much less each other which means that even though they can go on a terrifying deep sea adventure alien war side quest date they are still insanely awkward about like-liking each other. tobias learns the guy's name is T. T. and asks if that stands for total trauma and rachel's like idk what it stands for and he's like well you should find out his name if you're going out with him and rachel's like well i'm not and tobias is like oh. and then they find a squid. it's incredible. then at the end of the book T. T. comes around while rachel's at gymnastics and flirts with her again and rachel basically tells him to fuck off and he calls her "a name i've been called before" because swearing between the lines was an important part of animorphs and then tobias who is watching this whole thing from the sky is like "hey he was cute. and i heard what he called you. cute AND perceptive" and rachel's like "oh shut up (affectionate)" and they go have a flying date together. like literally when will your faves. they ARE the blueprint. sometimes i feel insane for as an adult still finding something genuinely romantic in a pairing from a 90s monthly mass market series for children, but like what other kidlit saga has ever included a tragic dreamboat boyfriend affectionately teasing his girlfriend about what a total bitch she is in a way that genuinely works as a cute thing to do because she and we both know that he literally loves her partly BECAUSE she has no problem being an asshole to people who deserve it and also is so good at killing people? like hello!!!!!!!!!

#topics on which i've hit tumblr paragraph limit: #brad pitt sucks; i think some dracula post but i don't remember which one; why rachel/tobias from animorphs is the OTP of all time #sure. yeah. whatever. #animorphs

[winchestersheaven]

me: i’m gonna read Rodney McKay fics

fandom: we have lots of McShep

me: McShep is good, i like that ship

me: so, McShep fics with Rodney feels, please

fandom: sure thing, lots of Rodney feels here 😇

fandom: *bombards me with unexpected John feels*

me: hey, uh. why is my heart all fucked up?

#don't get me wrong i love it #but it is not what i signed up for x'D #i fell so gd hard for Rodney when i watched Atlantis and while i really enjoyed other characters too (John included) #Rodney was the one i just did not want to let go and the one i really wanted to read #so since McShep is a fairly big ship that i did like i figured it was easier to go there than to find Rodney heavy fics based on tags alone #and now here i am with a ton of John feels i wasn't planning on (and a brand new otp...) #Smowkie talks #McShep #John Sheppard #Rodney McKay #i'm planning a couple of McShep fic rec posts btw #(the fic that made me write this post included) #not sure when but they are coming. at least two of them #i've read a lot lately and i've actually mostly remember to save the faves so i can share them which feels very nice #i love fic rec posts but i've always been horribly bad at making them myself #but after that summer reading challenge i've gotten better at it and i'm hoping it can result in some future fic rec posts #well it will result in at least two for McShep xD

[zebratimw]

Spirit animal SQH

#svsss #shang qinghua #but mainly I'm just here to vague post LMAO I don't like to vague post its not very effective in terms of venting but #but basically I guess I'm becoming hyperaware of my like... cognitive dissonance codependency and derealization ee #also my general laziness ig and where it overlaps into executive dysfunction or whatever like I may genuinely have some issues but #I am also a lazy son of a bitch jfjfkgkg and i need to figure out how to figure it out so I can work on both in more effective ways hhggg #oh yeah but basically the thing to remember for later is the silence in the call and the immediate unmute and chat activity once I left #I should remember this and stop interacting I think? I should try to give em space I think I'm being too clingy or something #or maybe my own silence is too awkward and dampens the call? I was kinda just spacing out and not doing anything so I get its kinda weird #LMAO so I should just like try not to be in call for those times mm #I just like being in call with my friends jdhfkg but I suppose its not very good either #I overindulge I suppose another friend pointed it out to me before too haha but fjfjjt its just easier than facing bouts of dread by myself #eehh and that's why I gotta do something about my Metnal Ailneses hfjfj but ngl I don't really know how to go about it... #I get embarrassed looking stuff up djfnfkg and half the time I don't even know what to look up I just draw ?s and I give up #I suppose I also have commitment issues too but that ones not new which is an issue of itself aaaaaaaa #man idk idk I just don't really get it I guess djdjfjf and I've got existential dreads and think maybe it doesn't really matter whats wrong #cause there's no point to fixing them because ultimately I'm gonna die alone and a failure anyways? so like ehfjgkg idk #its depressing and I know its like sabotage cause my brain is being a little silly a little goofy and its not a shared sentiment #with the better half of me and the entirety of my friends but yknow its just ee harder sometimes to believe in the optimism ig #and i can talk about it somewhat normally and without like having a ✨️break down #but yknow djfjgkg I'm very emotional a person ya? I think sqh is relatable for gods sake 💀 #irrationality sentimentality nihilism and existential dreads... wanting to die because living is too hard despite all my hopes for living... #just the ol regulars yknow? #and another thing... do I talk to my friends about these things? I vent them out here a lot but what do I really want? #I'm not strong enough to keep it to myself clearly but I'm also too proud to share these thoughts? I dump them out in the open and for what? #whenever someone reaches out with concern and care I don't respond in kind and refuse to elaborate? #so like what do I want with this? I guess I want someone to know I'm going insane half the time I'm awake? but not do anything about it? #that's pretty unfair I guess... and stupid I think I do want to share my thoughts with someone but I'm too scared of the ramifications #and that my pride can't stand the fact I might be looked differently by my friends even tho the image they have of me is already quite silly #man.... idk.... I'll come to conclusions myself and do nothing about them so I guess that'll happen again aah idk idk idk

[peridots-pixiwolf]

[Start ID. A drawing of @mieczmaszyna 's character Izzy. In the words of its creator, Izzy is a humanoid robot with a white chassis, oval head, black headset, square green glasses, claws, and a tail resembling a cable plug. Ai wears a cowboy hat, vest decorated by a star and bottle cap, pants with tassels, spurred boots, and a red bandanna. He's viewed from the side, kicking up one leg and holding both arms out in front of itself to shoot finger guns, looking excited and rather jaunty. The background is a dull yellow-green, muddied by the warm reddish tone of the drawing, and in paler green are the words "BANG BANG!!" by ais arms. End ID]

robot cowboy!!!

#peridots-art #bots #others' ocs #izzy #mieczmaszyna #gotta admit doing all the shading here was. very fun. insert medic hoo noise #i don't know if people usually read these but @ the intended recipient of this post! if you are!! #i remember first liking your art a year ago (actually only about a week off now lol) when it crossed my dash for the first (/only) time #and then found it again whilst enjoying the funky robot dudes (yesm/p03) and their respective games and I fell in Love with your style #i also was always enthused by the number of my fixations that you also liked! fnv! insc! ultkll! tf2 and hylics which i've never played! #and then there's hk which has been my most prominent special interest for close to two years so. safe to say that was. AWESOME to see #ALSO ALSO!! i think we may be like. mutuals-in-law*2?? #by which i mean one of my two closest friends on this site (holly) is mutuals with a cool artist (sodapop) #who i learned by accident that you've sent asks to before. either way it's cool :] #reserving the caption 'robot cowboys my beloved' for the future cause there are too many! victor and p03 and my own guy atoya and now this? #it is a wonderful problem. anyway i'm also looking at P3RI and realizing how many traits they and izzy share by accident lol #think. that should be all the tags (see: incoherent rambling). really like your stuff and have been meaning to draw something for you for #a while just got nervous 👍

[bookwyrminspiration]

i want it to be you // what could have been

hey @everliving-everblaze I have a present for you <3

kotlc art taglist:

@bronte-deserves-better@imaramennoodle@thisbluewind@theofficialkai517@delphicstrawberries@thesandsofdawn@crumpledwitchfeet@ascendant-queen@axels-corner@loverofallthingssmart@silveny-dreams@girlofmanyfandoms@enbies-and-felonies@impostertamsong@sofia-not-sophie @alabestrine @keefes-hairgel @fanartofthelostcities@three-bunnies-in-a-trenchcoat@a-lonely-tatertot @cosmogyral-cleo @meg-doodles @dragonwinnie-kotlc@anaccidentwaitingtohappen@maglorslostsilmaril@even-if-in-another-time@crazedfangirl14@callas-pancake-tree@katniss-elizabeth-chase@wolfstar-being-ridikkulus@thefoxysnake@florida-preposterously@fandomsareforlife@deulalune@just-a-honey-badger

#kotlc #kotlc fanart #sophitz #sophitz positivity #quil's quill #hey y'all remember that profile drawing I was losing my mind over a little bit ago? well here she is! #also I keep being SO finnicky after uploading the photo to post i've gone back at least 8 times (not exaggerating) to fiddle with something #it's good it's fine it's good I don't need to change anything it's FINE! #oaurggh #anyway #heron you told me when your birthday was and I completely and entirely forgot #so just pretend this is a birthday gift #even if it's like six months away/behind us doesn't matter #and even though I didn't draw this for birthday reasons I just felt like it #also yes maybe there's some symbolism here #which maybe I would be totally 100% open to explaining if someone asked #ough ough noticed something I maybe could go back and tweak... <- NO! it's GOOD #no one but you is going to notice that it's literally fine #OKAY FINE

[kakusu-shipping]

Another self insert based entirely one someone else's self insert. @lunayumes has such a habit of making the prettiest and loneliest self inserts, but unlike Your Turn to Die I've SEEN Dungeon Meshi and thus can make her at least a little less lonely.

Emile's a Gnome/Half-Foot hybrid who was raised by his parents far from most civilization. When his mother (half-foot) died of old age his father (gnome) took his own life, unable to live without his wife, leaving their son of indeterminate age completely abandoned on a farm in the middle of No Where.

Emile saved up the funds to leave his home and go traveling in hopes of learning more about his heritage and culture he was deprived of and eventually found himself on The Island. Naturally he gravitated to the local library to read everything they had on Gnome and Half-Foot culture and History. This is also where he meets Emi, who goes to the library mostly just to get out of her empty house when he husband, Chilchuck, is away.

Neither of them are very sociable people, but eventually Emile works up the courage to talk to this very pretty Half-Foot he sees regularly. Surprisingly, they have a lot in common and end up hitting it off.

Emile eventually convinces Emi to leave Chilchuck, partly because he's formed a crush on the woman, but mostly because she's his friend and he wants what's best for her, and this clearly wasn't it. He knows what it's like to be alone all the time. When Chilchuck eventually comes back to talk to Emi and the two make up, Emile remains pretty Anti-Chilchuck for a while afterwards, mostly just giving him dirty looks. Emi doesn't seem to notice.

That's about all I have. Again thanks to @lunayumes for letting me use her S/I as a base for mine!! Anything is subject to change at you're request!!

#Emile's Arts #I remember when Emmy was tossing this S/I idea around before she finished the manga #She had the concept of Emi going in the dungeon as well #I still really like that idea thus the first comic #We ALMOST did it. So close. #What if my S/I had a crush on your S/I..... And we were both from Dungeon Meshi...... dskjfjdkfjds #I don't know WHY I did that btw #It just felt like a fun story element #This woman loves her husband does NOT notice this other guy has a crush on her #Too focused #Which ya know what fair #EVENTUALLY I might ship this S/I with someone else but honestly #Doubtful #I love Dungeon Meshi but other than a little crush on Laios no one's really calling out to me atm #So friendship S/I it is <3 #I love doing this btw if you have a media you think I should Self Insert into with you #Hit me up because I'll do it #The only one I've done like this I haven't posted is my One Piece S/I I made with my BF Zayne #I should draw that one at some point....

[royalarchivist]

I really liked Ramon's idea of filling a tag with cute little things for Fit's birthday, and I was like "Hey, I got a bit of time to spare today, I can whip something up real quick. Surely I don't have THAT many clips of Fit!"

Well...

#mod talk #head in hands #I don't even think this is all of them this is just ones I've remembered to tag with Fit's name #I've been archiving since last April. I've got. A lot of clips. Which I should probably be putting on an external hard drive at this point #Anyways re: the video; I've whittled it down a lot and it's still almost 5 minutes long #I am NOT going to post a 5 minute long video I'm cutting this thing down to like. 3 minutes MAXIMUM #I don't think anyone would watch that and frankly even 3 minutes is pushing it #I liked the last big compilation edit I did before recent events made me unhappy about the subject #So I'm mostly doing this for my own sake and for fellow fans because I think it'll give everyone a laugh #also Ramon because his admin is a sweetie for thinking of this #anyhoo. ya boy's real tired but putting these things together is pretty fun #it's time consuming but tbh the hardest part is just the subtitling. It's just super tedious and time consuming #the rest is fun even if it's also a bit time consuming #I try to keep RA pretty light on textposts but I think it's fun sharing behind the scenes notes about what I'm working on

[meymeyzart]

Mourning

#Happy 1 year anniversary to Obbligato! #*saying through tears* #anyway so I've got quite a bit to say here.. #tatsumi is holding a white chrysanthemum (and those are the petals you see as well) #kaname's not nearly as pale as himeru meaning himeru is mourning a living person #which is true kaname isn't dead #but himeru is much more sickly here hes more #.blue? #zoom in on him if the quality isn't ruined by tumblr #(especially his hands) #in contrast tatsumi is the warmest here #so full of life #I realise now I should've probably done more with the background... #and one day I'll draw jun in an obbligato fanart #I thought about adding him here but it was too late and I couldn't fit him anywhere #anyway #I think this is the first time I draw these 3 in the same image #oh and sorry for not posting any art for like a month #I have a million wips right now... I'm sure I'll finish one of them eventually!!.... #I feel like there was more I wanted to say about this but I don't remember... If I do I'll say it in a self rb #that's all! #himeru #kazehaya tatsumi #tatsumi kazehaya #tojou kaname #kaname tojou #enstars #fanart #ensemble stars #my art

[brittlebutch]

it's actually so fascinating to me that Brennan has created a character that maintains a pretty relaxed and mild-mannered demeanor and has said multiple times that the absolute Core of her is "FEAR" and how often we see this Fear manifest specifically in Avoidance; it really nails a relationship to that mentality where your brain fully Stops recognizing the emotion properly out of like, sheer self-defense from the stress of having to carry it all the time

I think this is also perfectly showcased in the way we tend to see Tula swing so suddenly from 'level and steady' to 'snarling Panic' and then back again - Just because your brain has detached itself from the Conscious Recognition of the emotion doesn't mean it can Actually stop itself from experiencing it. So the Fear is always there and always acting as a stressor, but because of that inability to Identify it there's no way to recognize or address it before that final straw hits and your bodymind jumps Straight into Full Meltdown Mode; but then once again, once you drop even a Little bit below that Peak Terror your brain ceases to process the emotion; it's like the most exhausting form of Poor Object Permanence in the world

And even if Tula is aware of this happening to her, that doesn't really make it any easier to deal with / address. Even if you're able to spot the symptoms Around the emotion -- chest pain, irritation, nausea, whatever -- because the Emotion Itself is basically impossible to find, you can't really Successfully Pin Down what the problem is OR a way to cope with it. If you can't figure out That You Are Anxious, then figuring out What Is Making You Anxious is impossible, which makes Find A Way To Make Peace With That incomprehensible. That's where the Avoidance comes in: you can no longer identify what might be a Dangerous Situation, which means that Anything New has a big potential to be Really Bad in a variety of ways (ranging "I don't Feel Good" to "Fully Lashing Out bc you've entered Fight/Flight and can't get out of it" to "Actual Outside Danger This Time") and that means the Only Way you know how to be Safe is to just Avoid Doing Anything New and Only stick to Familiar Situations, because anything unfamiliar is a monster of a gamble you don't know how to prepare for or cope with

#N posts stuff #one could argue ‘we see tula worry a lot tho’ but that’s bc Worry is an Action that can occur Separately from Recognizing Anxiety #now that I know tumblr will put a hard cap on your tags w/o telling you i'm resigning myself to posting rambling meta in post body #but i'm not happy about it; anyway i love how often life is full of Coincidences bc this is something I've Finally identified in myself #like. This Month. like this is brand new articulation for some of the problems i have in life; again knowing this doesn't help lmao #bc even when you know to look Around the shape of the emotion - like 'oh my face is Snarling rn. i'm probably experiencing Something' #like i said bc you don't know What that something is OR What might have caused it then the only solution you Ever get to come up with #is just 'fully retreat and go calm down somewhere else' which INVARIABLY means that you will wind up in that same situation again #and Still have no idea how to handle it bc you never could figure out what caused it so you don't know how to handle it any better than #'fully retreat and go calm down somewhere else'; so 'be somewhere else' is the ONLY way you can ever think to Help it #which usually invariably turns into 'Just Avoid Fucking Everything just in case'; which doesn't work! bc life doesn't let you do that #so then it's just a cycle of falling into the same pitfalls and feeling miserable all the time; gotta love it :) #if you're like me this also gives you Bad Bad Bad Memory bc your brain will Promptly hide evidence of Scary Situation instinctively #like 3 weeks ago this dude ran a red light and almost t-boned me Full Speed & managed to stop like. maybe 3 feet away. #and i like. Startled Laughed and said 'that was scary' and then within 30 seconds i had Fully Forgotten it happened & only remembered #like 2 days ago. Ha! believe it or not this Does Not Help with 'How can I Address the Problem instead of Avoiding It Entirely?' #dimension 20 #d20: stupendous stoats #tula #d20lb

[birdmenmanga]

@raventhekittycat

hi okay so I've been mulling this one over for the past day or two and I think I have the answer. not to be using hamburger to explain anything to an american but you're my detco mutual so I'm going to try and explain it in detco terms

There's a post going around recently about how if you've read detco and only detco, the first time hakuba shows up you're going to be totally flummoxed, because damn this guy is clearly important, he gets to be even cooler than Shinichi, he's got a half-page shot of him (in such a panel-dense series such as Detective Conan, no less!!) and he's got a fucking hawk. he's CLEARLY important. everything about the narrative is indicating that you need to PAY ATTENTION to hakuba and that he's the coolest guy and he's important!!!! and then he dies in the case lol (not for real. but still.)!! and you're like huh??? what was that. why did aoyama do that.

But with the context of magic kaito this totally makes sense. He's a beloved character that people have been waiting decades to see again. Of course Aoyama is going to hype him up!! It's his big moment after years of being locked in the backrooms!!!

Anyways reading birdmen for me was kind of like that. The author's previous series, Kekkaishi, was pretty one-dimensional at the beginning, and even after the main plot started picking up at around volume 6, it still felt quite understandable. I knew what she was trying to get at, and the spectacular job she did with the anthropocene and climate change metaphor towards the end of that series really made me interested in the rest of her works. That and the way she writes familial relationships is absolutely DEVASTATING. (I mean this with the highest of praise)

But when I read BIRDMEN for the first time, I was probably in... middle school, maybe? And I read it, sure, but I didn't get it. I could see what was literally happening on the page but the narrative choices were absolutely baffling at times. Why skip over the entire part of the plot where they figure out who the birdman that saved them was? She blatantly doesn't care about that. What does she care about then?? I knew I didn't get it, I knew there were parts of it that were important and I couldn't figure out why and THAT'S how it dug its pretty little claws into me. Even after I finished catching up it nagged at me a little bit, not often at all, but enough that every once in a while I go, huh, right, that was a thing, let me go read it again.

For the record this type of story haunting has happened to me twice. First time was the Heart of Thomas, second time was BIRDMEN. I think the thing is that these are both stories which are not what other people say they are and I think I came into both of these stories with a misconception, trying to look too hard for things that weren't important and therefore missing the things that were.

Because sure, BIRDMEN is about mental illness. Yeah, it's about an evil scientific organization growing mutants in a lab. Yeah, it's about what it means to leave your humanity behind. That's all technically correct, on a surface level, and the fandom at large likely agrees with these takes for the most part, but in my opinion none of that really delves into what the thematic messaging of the story is about.

There are cryptic conversations about authority and human extinction and peculiar outfit and ability choices. You can tell these choices weren't made to serve the purpose of "writing exciting shonen manga" because that was what she did for the most part in Kekkaishi and you can tell she wasn't putting her whole pussy into doing that here. So what was she doing? What's like. All of this. Waves my hands at this.

The short answer is that it's really about the interplay between capitalism (represented by humanity) and communism (represented by birdmen), and explores the role institutional white supremacy (EDEN) plays in enforcing capitalism. It is ALSO about queer liberation and the importance of community, but hey, that double-stacks conveniently with the communism metaphor.

But also take this opinion of mine with a grain of salt. As far as I know I'm the only one who really truly deeply believes that it is not only AN interpretation of the work, but one that was fully intended by the author.

So basically, I like it, because I think it says something true and beautiful that I also believe in, even if I didn't have the words for it the first time I read it. But I don't really think that's what people really look for in a media recommendation.

Do I like it? Yes, I love it. Will I recommend it to others? Yeah, sure. But do I think it's deeply flawed? Yeah, absolutely. It's flawed in the same ways as The Witch from Mercury— a rushed ending, too many threads that were opened and never tied together. The pacing and characterization is perfect in the beginning, and too rushed at the end. There are prerequisites you basically HAVE to read in order to understand the story (tempest for G-Witch and the communist manifesto for birdmen). I think a truly good story wouldn't have any of these things so if people don't like it I never blame them.

It's my personal experiences that make birdmen so profound to me. If you are not queer I just don't think Eishi coming out as a birdman to his mom will hit the same, just as an example. Sorry that I wasn't the kid you wanted me to be. I know you love me and you just want the best for me and that's why you're so controlling, because you think I can be saved by conforming to societal expectations. But I can't live like that. I can't be like that. And that's why I must go. etc.

Aesthetically I do love birdmen a lot. If I had to describe it in a few words it would probably be "chilling", "beautiful", and "powerful", which nicely coincides with the type of things I personally like to draw. It's also silly to a small degree but it's so serious and I know Tanabe can be way way way funnier (read kekkaishi for this. kekkaishi and hanazakari no kimitachi he were foundational to my sense of sequential art humor) so that's not really the standout trait of this series.

I can't let it go because I'm chewing this series like a bone. And it's taking me years but I am getting that sweet sweet marrow. By god. We are on year 3 of this shit and I am GOING to understand this series. and I'm going to make 3 video essays about it

#just thinking thoughts... #stray bird thoughts #so it's like... I don't like it because birdmen is good #I think I like it because I am a certain type of person and the author was trying to say something specifically to the type of person I am #OH #I'M THE TARGETED AUDIENCE THATS WHY I LIKE IT. #YEAH THATS REALLY IT!!! #A long time ago I said that birdmen wasn't written for the people who read it at the time it serialized. #it was written for the people they would become. #and I stand by that 100% #if it really stays with you there is going to be a reason even if you can't articulate it yet #and it may APPEAR sloppy to someone who doesn't see the queer or communist metaphor #like 'what is she doing what is she saying here she's not saying anything meaningful and emphasizing the wrong things' #but that sort of presumes she is gunning to make 'the best shonen manga ever' #which she clearly isn't. #I remember when I was reading fma with a bunch of my classmates and I'd lend them a volume or two every day #and a piece of feedback I received that has stuck with me was 'volume 15 was so boring' #(that was the volume recounting the ishval civil war. it was boring because we were middle schoolers and didn't REALLY get it.) #and like. I think to people who are looking for something like kks. the whole thing is going to feel like fma volume 15 #like WHAT is she going on about? ? ? #like witch hat and dunmesh I think are similar types of stories but I think these two are just executed way better than bm #but because of that it is just not as compelling to me you know. #like yeah yeah it's well constructed. we all see it's well constructed. #the metaphor is so well constructed that I don't feel the need to point it out. everyone is saying it already you know #but bm is cryptic enough and just slightly missed that execution enough that I feel like I'm pulling the analysis out of a smoking wreckage #recently I've been watching mentourpilot videos about airplane accidents and like. that's exactly it. #there's nothing to say about a perfectly executed flight. #it's the ones that failed. and in particular the ones that just barely failed by a little bit. that compels people the most. #cue my de communism is failure post. bc that bm sure did fail.

[crossbackpoke-check]

Why I Am Not Coming In To Work Today [abridged], Jess Zimmerman

part one | part two

#toronto maple leafs #HELLO EVERYBODY THIS HAS BEEN MONTHS!!! MONTHS IN THE MAKING BECAUSE i AM UNHINGED AND NEEDED THE PRECISE PICTURES THAT I KNEW I WOULD GET #like. seventy five percent of this has been done since the first time i posted this and while it has gotten better with time because #my narratives simply got more complex and there's so much of this that is For Me but don't worry i will explain but aLSO goddamn mitch coul #you have gotten married any later in the year. also willy you truly disappointed me by not getting an absurd haircut this year (now that #i've said this he's going to debut it on instagram like. tomorrow. but anyway that meant y'all got to enjoy my neuroses of #Loving Tyler Bertuzzi who is a goddamn leaf. the joys of having to wait to post this (was not a leaf at the time i started it) and anyway i #have at length i think had the breakdown about tyler in pigtails girl dad & how i got a bob & then tyler copied me which was rude. that's m #gender. ANYWAY starting from the top we got sheldon keefe documentation which was really just the personal decision that i wanted all the #coaching staff to be the markers in the poem/the bold & also at the TIME keefe hadn't re-signed &we thought it might be everybody out w/kyl #anyway the title of the scrap of an old lover's flannel is literally 'u think this is about sheldon & kyle NO it's about timothy liljegren' #bc. liljegren was on the marlies winning cup team & has had a contentious relationship w/keefe ever since & was healthy scratched in playof #& the narrative is sooooo. also at one point for the ryan o'reilly i was going to edit the stlb out of his grandma's shirt or cover it w/th #childhood dreams line but THEN i found the gio snapped stick one which was too perfect for 'crumbling copy' the ryan o'reilly To Me is so. #ur insane in ways u did not think for that one. like. how soft her hands were. his grandma you guys. he grew up a leafs fan. if he ever get #to lift the cup with her again i will lose my shit. the cup run a movie i remember nothing--OKAY the spezz one i knew i needed him stresse #but also i believe in the spezz/kyle narrative so. it comes up later don't worry ALSO SPEZZ FOLLOWING HIM TO PITT CAME AFTER I MADE THIS bu #the muzz tea one makes me a little sensy bc muzz was out with an injury for most of this season & it was a really scary spinal one & so yea #& then the simmer one just straight up makes me cry bc i love him so much & the work that he does for anti-racism in hockey means so much & #if you have that video open & watch it i promise you will cry i do every time it's so beautiful he had to be on comforted by beauty & sammy #boy is on the a man who doesn't know me because EYE remember the caps goalie tandems. baby lilya. the mo one is a little funny bc it is #solely due to wade's thread about mo rielly the coal miner homestead husband. that's why he moves to omaha also i think it suits him (quiet #OK NOW OLD MEN IN LOVE NARRATIVE this one's in contention for my fave bc it's spezz coping w/retirement fundamental meaningless of existenc #u heard abt tyler already that's for me the minchy picture was just too good i had found it earlier & i spent SO LONG looking for an empty #leafs rink picture for bathtub i have some cool construction photos but i wanted the melting ice ones (thought about tahoe lol) & the sprin #one i manip'd a lot bc i needed a spring picture bc playoffs clinch in spring & that one fit so coincidentally perfect bc it's 7 straight #seasons 7 guys so. :) & i KNEW i swore to god they did more milk advertising i knew i was gonna do this one from the minute i saw the poem #the milk patch & it took a hot minute BUT I FOUND THIS ONE this one's for funsies. AND THE PIC I WAITED SO FUCKING LONG FOR this is actuall #from kerf's wedding but i was like i know on god mitch is getting married this summer & that's about to be the drunkest shenanigans wedding #i'm waiting for the pics. & then i was BLESSED with this one which is beautiful & perfect & LOOK AT THEM. anyway the last one is bc

[running-in-the-dark]

it's been a month since we moved into the new apartment -

I'm so stressed. everything is stressful. we're still not done building the kitchen but it's getting there (slowly). mostly we just need to wait until we get a couple parts that weren't in stock when we ordered the rest. I'm hoping it'll be done by next weekend.

some of it is very frustrating with my brain specifically. I'm so bothered by all the tiny little things that no one else would even notice - like, some of the handles on the drawers are very slightly crooked (as in, less than a millimeter higher on one side) - but for me it's so obvious that it's impossible to ignore. my husband didn't even know what I meant when I pointed it out to him. there's also been a few slightly bigger issues, but we've solved them now (I think).

my eye has been twitching for like three to four weeks. not all the time obviously, but every few minutes. it's very, very annoying.

we still have no new info about when we'll have internet finally. it could take a while still.

on Monday a guy has to replace something in the electric roller shutters in one room - but we don't know which one yet. so either I'll have to let him into my room (awful, uncomfortable, will have to tidy up tomorrow so he could even get to the window), or I'll have to get both our cats into their carrier if it's the one in my husband's room (awful, difficult, one of them doesn't like that so he'll be scared and I'll feel bad).

also on Monday the electrician will install our stove (if he has time). then we're getting two ikea deliveries. and I've got an appointment with my (new) GP because I need a prescription, and I'm very (verrry) nervous about it.

I miss watching TV. I miss tumblr and YouTube and messaging my friends whenever I want and sending them photos all the time. I miss order and structure and (some level of) routine. I miss using real cutlery (we still haven't found ours lol).

when I was finally starting to get used to the noises in this place, the family above us moved in with their baby that cries all the time very very loudly and most of the time right above my room. so now everything is different again and I'm not adjusting well and once again I can't sleep.

but, I've listened to 14 audiobooks since we moved! that's been nice. it was the same way when we moved the last time (just over a year ago..). my favourite by far was The Thursday Murder Club. I've got the other ones in the series but I'm trying not to listen to them too quickly, so I'm gonna listen to three other books first (one is done already, so I should get there on Monday or Tuesday hopefully).

#long rambly post sorry #I miss talking about the random uninteresting shit that happens in my life on here all the time #I've got data on my phone again now at least so that's good. but the phone signal is still awful indoors so it's not that useful #but anyway.... logically I know I'm doing an okay job with unpacking and everything but it doesn't feel like it #also I'm probably gonna have to try to find at least a part time job pretty soon and I'm really really really scared. terrified. #not just of trying to find something and interviews and all that #but that I won't be able to handle it. physically and mentally. again. #I've only had one full time job (an apprenticeship actually) and I lasted 3 months. #and at my part time job I only lasted a month #like. I can barely get anything done in a day as it is. I have so little energy. everything is so fucking hard and exhausting #I truly don't understand how everyone does it. I don't understand how it's possible. #but if I don't find something we won't have money for food next month sooooo it is sort of kind of important #it sucks so fucking much. I can't stand or walk for long periods of time. can't do too much with my hands. I'm not good at dealing with #people/customers. I panic and can't think when I get nervous (which is most of the time). I can't remember shit. #so like. what job am I supposed to do??? everything hurts all the time already and I'm always tired and I'm barely keeping it together #fuuuuck this #😭 #personal

[front-facing-pokemon]

#bonus under the cut getting that snout facing right at the camera #camerupt #early 2000s animation cow‚ apparently. that's what someone just said about the bonus image. i honestly never understood this thing's name #i always thought it was pretty obviously a cow. but then its name implies camel. camel erupt. camerupt. is there a specific kind of #camel that just looks like a cow?? or. what. or am i just misremembering what camels look like #either way‚ i still think this pokémon is pretty cool‚ but i don't really use it ever in my own playthroughs. i don't think i *ever* have #not even in pokémon colosseum where i'm pretty sure you can get a shadow numel at some point. bc i already had a fire-type #not sure which one it was but it was definitely one of them. maybe cyndaquil? because of the dudes with the johto starters #that you fight near the beginning in pppp uuuhhh the PHENAC city i couldn't remember the name. for a second there. #i wasn't aware as a kid that their outfits corresponded to the type of the starter they had and also that you could only fight one of them #i think as a kid i was under the impression that there was only the one. for some reason i remember fighting the green one #oh wait they have the second-evos yeah. cuz he had bayleef. and the red one would've had quilava. not cyndaquil #ugh my memory is not very good evidently. i'm writing these tags after work. normally i do them right when i wake up but this time i just #do not have an excuse for not being able to remember shit. this is just on me. maybe it's amplified by the fact that i have yet to eat today #which i have a very bad habit of doing. forgetting to eat all day and not eating until like 5 and then that being my only meal for the day #i'm trynna get better about it but it is Not easy for some reason. for something that should be decidedly very simple #but my brain doesn't often let me eat until i've completed all of my silly little Tasks. so. idk. this will however post the day after i've #arrived back home from my trip which is nice. the first time future me will be sleeping in her own bed again. good luck again future me #you might need it