#I just know I don't like being refered to as a girl

[bethecliche]

my love mine all mine l vincent renzi x f!reader

summary: after seeing her for the first time, he just fell (deeply) in love word count: 3.7k content: female reader (no description of genitalia), mention of sex, mention of stretch marks, description of hair and eye color (but not texture or skin color), french laws and locations being misinterpreted, use of tv shows and books I didn't watch or read, non canon note: english is not my first langague! I wrote this in portuguese and then translated to english myself, there's a chance you'll find an error or something. I'm sorry sorry! I highly recommend you to listen to the song while reading.

you can check the aesthetic references for this oneshot here but take note that none of the people actual faces on this reflects on the character identity that I wrote, so don't base all of the details on the references for the characters in story.

The first time he noticed her, she was sitting on one of the wooden benches outside the courtrooms. She seemed nervous, shaking her legs and glancing restlessly between the watch on her wrist and the clock on the hallway wall, as if it made much difference. Regardless of her worried expression and furrowed brow, Vincent felt that he had never seen such an attractive woman in his life. From her brown hair to her brown boots, looked like she stepped out of one of those '70s fashion advertisements he'd seen in vintage magazines as a kid. He didn't had time to notice much more than that, as he crossed the hallway and headed to his session. At the end of the day, of course, she was no longer there.

What seemed to have been one of those street crushes that you see when crossing an avenue and never think about again, stayed in Vincent's head for a few days. Every time he passed by the corridor, he waited to see if the brunette would be there. He tried to guess what she was doing there that day and whether there was a possibility of bumping into her again, a question to which the universe answered “yes”.

Two weeks later, this time leaving work, he looked down buttoning his blue coat, distracted in his thoughts when he noticed the same brown boots a few steps in front of him. The stranger held a cigarette between her fingers and had her arms pressed against her body. Although it was snowing lightly, it was extremely cold for an autumn day. Her look was different, probably due to the weather, with a coat with a puffed collar and puffed sleeves, once again looking like she belonged to a previous decade. The wind ruffled her hair a little and the moonlight illuminated her posture, a scene Vincent believed could have come from a movie.

All his past relationships were comfortable. Someone he knew in high school, someone he knew in college, someone who was introduced by friends or someone his friends encouraged him to talk during an outing. He didn't consider himself an introvert, but he never needed to pursue someone who was interested. Things just happened for him. It wasn't his comfort zone just to approach a stranger like that, much less at the door of his work, but something that day said it was the right thing to do.

He took a cigarette out of his pocket and approached the girl asking to borrow a lighter. His sudden plan only went so far.

As soon as she turned to face him, she gave a friendly and inviting smile, taking the object out of her pocket and activating the flame in front of his face. Vincent stood still, staring into her eyes throughout the action, mesmerized by her and her sparkling brown eyes.

“Will I ever meet a lawyer who doesn’t smoke?” She asked as she extinguished the flame, placing the lighter and her free hand back in her pocket. Too cold to let it out.

His response took a few agonizing seconds, as his mind was far away and still lost in her gaze. He composed himself, running a hand through his hair and looking away.

“The day this happens, let me know. I want to be there.” Vincent laughed awkwardly, causing the girl to laugh as well. At that moment, he felt that he wanted to provoke more of this reaction, he wanted to see more of her smile and so the conversation flowed.

His first question was how she guessed he was a lawyer and not a passerby to which she replied, "You stand like a lawyer." He shared how being a lawyer was boring and tedious, but it did have its dramatic moments in court when she asked if the career was challenging like its portrait on TV. He also discovered that she was there to pay a car ticket caused by her younger brother, hence the great nervousness when he first saw her a few weeks ago.

“When my parents told me that my 20th birthday present was a baby brother, I already felt within myself that I would be the best sister in the world. That I would try to make his life as easy as possible. 18 years later, he asks to borrow my car to visit his girlfriend - which I don't hesitate to do, after all I support young love. And the little shit-head makes sure on parking in front of a fire hydrant.” The girl blew smoke to her right side, not taking her eyes off him. “Would you be my lawyer if I try to choke him?”

Vincent could only laugh at her spontaneity, easy way of talking about life and easy way of making conversation.

“Just threaten him, it will be an easier case for me to win.”

They talked about Metz and how her family decided to move to Paris when she was a teenager because they knew the city needed more beautiful people, a fact Vincent agreed with. In order not to dismiss him, in a very charming way, she praised his Parisian accent and said that such a comment did not apply to him and only God knows how Vincent felt inside after that.

The two shared their tastes, such as reading romances and watching Dix pour cent every night before bed. It was as if they knew each other much more than the 1 hour they spent together under the snow. They shared maybe two more cigarettes before realizing it was getting a little too late to chat like that on the street.

He doesn't even know how he got out of that situation alive and managed to get home with her number.

Their first date was at a local cinema on a Friday night for a re-showing of Buffet Froid, a film Anne had never seen.

He didn't remember the last time he felt butterflies in his stomach, although it was guaranteed that nothing could compare to this time. As he got ready and tried to match his best t-shirts with his beige pants (which he eventually changed out of, finding them too tacky), Vincent remained nervous thinking that she might not show up or that this would be the first and last time they would meet in this circumstance.

In the end, all the “first time” flutter went out the window when he saw her smiling and waving on the other side of the street, already with the tickets in her hand. “I'm glad you came.” She said, holding his arm as they walked through the door of the establishment.

“I wouldn't miss it.” he replied.

The two took watching films very seriously, so it was only during the ending credits, after a lot of laughter, small comments and bumping hands on the popcorn bucket, that the two kissed.

He felt the softness of her skin on his hand and her sweet scent of perfume, in addition, of course, to the hot and saccharine kiss. It was slow, serene, just as they both wanted, being able to feel each other in that moment. It was also Anne's desire to slowly run her fingers through his hair and she didn't hesitate to take advantage of the opportunity.

After throwing their trash away, the two walked out of the cinema, now closer to each other, hand in hand. The weather wasn't as cold as when they first met and they were free to enjoy the warmth of their bodies without so many layers covering them.

“For a great 70's mind, you never having watched Buffet Froid is an insult.” He pointed at her with his free hand, wanting to tease her.

Anne rolled her eyes. Even though she liked the film, she didn't want to give a taste. “Obviously you would like action movies like that. It suits you.”

“I’ll make you like it too.” He stated, trying to imply that he wanted them to meet again, to which she responded by kissing his cheek and saying, “Next time, let's watch a romcom.”

Once, twice, three, four and a few more times, all being unusual dates. Sometimes she would call during his workday and say she would pick him up for an adventure. She drove aimlessly, just the two of them talking about their days and observing the city lights. These were Vincent's favorite “dates”, as they all ended with the two of them making out like two teenagers parked in the driveway of his apartment.

The more he got to know about her, the more he wanted to constantly be a part of her life. Anne owned a clothing store downtown, something he never tired of saying was the “most suitable job her”. On the last date they had, she took him to the closed store and put on a fashion montage for him, with improvised note cards on paper left on the counter and all. But she knew that the judge had been bought when he only gave her 10s. She also took the opportunity to get Vincent to do the same, putting him once again out of his comfort zone to find out that bell bottom jeans don't really suit him.

They even got to watch a car race - something that not even Anne had done, she had just decided that it was an experience they needed to have. They both entended up hating it, but the important thing was that the company was great.

That was one of the nights Anne slept at his house.

They ate some junk food from the fridge and watched a silly but captivating show on TV while they chatted more. When she realized she could sleep at any moment, Anne got up to brush her teeth and change her clothes, putting on her uniform for whenever she was there: a Vincent t-shirt.

Vincent found it charming how she captivated his gaze regardless of what she was doing. He loved her unique and sophisticated style, but he also loved seeing her like this, casually wearing his clothes, in his home, as if she were his. And lastly, he loved seeing her with nothing on.

Every detail of her body, her birthmarks on her shoulder and that one next to her beautiful eyes or her stretch marks on her back, everything about her seemed to have been chosen down to the millimeter. When they made love, his hands went everywhere, trying to reach as much of her as he could, to feel the warmth she exuded.

And the best way to love her was by looking into her eyes, admiring her beauty, running his lips up and down her body, being grateful for the privileged position it was to be able to love her.

Mornings were like nights, with him waking up earlier and being able, once again, to admire the woman beside her.

“You are even more beautiful in the morning.”

The two walked through the streets of Paris, both tipsy, looking for an available taxi in the dead of night. With their relationship now more established and their schedules aligned, they made it a challenge to come up with these unusual date only once a month so it wouldn't lose its fun. Today had been the day to go to the opera and due to their lack of sobriety, they didn't seem to have left anywhere other than the shabbiest bar on the corner.

The event was boring as fuck and they left halfway through to drink somewhere more enjoyable. They found an open bar showing a PSG versus Marseille match. Neither of them supported the teams or understood about football rules, but this seemed like a new opportunity for them to have another different experience that day.

One laughter after another, some passionate kisses between drinks and the two were celebrating PSG's victory at the bar with some strangers whom they befriended.

“My mother wants to meet you. My brother too. I said I might have a lawyer for the next time he's up to no good. Do you think it’s too early?”

When drunk, Anne tended to speak fast and slurred, but Vincent understood perfectly. He smiled, wrapping his arms around her waist and kissing the tip of her nose. “I will love meeting your family.”

They never actually asked each other to go steady, but it was clear that they already belonged to each other at that point.

Vincent was on his cell phone writing a text to his mother about the shopping list for Christmas dinner and their desire to participate in decorating the tree (Anne's request to spend more time with her mother-in-law) while his girlfriend was lying on his lap reading his copy of Around the World in 80 Days (and she was loving it, for sure).

It was a lazy day for both of them at Vincent's place. A year into their relationship, the two of them loved sharing these moments together doing different activities.

“She said she misses you a lot and looks forward to seeing you on Christmas, but that you're banned from being near the kitchen when it is time to prepare desserts. Everything you touch that’s sweet ends up burning for some reason.”

Her smile, excited by her mother-in-law's affection, turned into a face indignant at the rule she imposed. "What?" She looked up from the book and pulled Vincent's hand to check if the message was real and it was. “This is so unfair!”

“Sorry, Anne, you’re just really bad at this.”

She lightly pushed his arm and pretended to be uncomfortable, although she knew it was true and wasn't really upset. Before she could return to her book, Vincent placed his cell phone on the table and began talking.

“One more thing, huh,” he cleared his throat, “I made one more space on the rack for you. I don't want certain clothes to get wrinkled in the drawer. I’ll make room in one more drawer too.”

Anne put the book aside and knelt on the sofa, facing her boyfriend. “Won’t it bother you? I already have space in my bedroom drawer, bathroom… In fact, there are a lot of my things scattered around the house. I don’t want to impose my space here.”

This was a subject that she had also been waiting to comment on for some time. By working her own hours at the store and having an employee to take her place wherever needed, Anne had a more flexible schedule than Vincent and it was easier to stay at his house, helping to keep everything on track and cooking for both of them. He would arrive just before dinner time and they could enjoy together without rushing to do the chores.

Because of this, the few clothes she wore just to sleep there became a drawer full, her makeup in the bathroom sink and her shoes near the door.

The gray-haired man hugged her around the waist, kissing her forehead and assuring her of his action. “You are not imposing anything, mon chéri. I want you to use this space. I want to have more and more of you here.”

For him, having her scent permeate the rooms was a gift wrapped in the best bow. Knowing that every day he would come home to see her welcoming smile and welcome kiss was the biggest work incentive.

“It feels like my home.” She whined.

“It’s your home. Our home.” He insisted.

In his favorite action, he cupped her face and looked warmly into her eyes, admiring her features trying to associate with what he was trying to say. They both smiled at each other realizing where the topic was going.

“Are you…”

“I want you to move in with me.”

The beautiful smile that filled his heart appeared on her face and Vincent, who was sure of her choice, but a little afraid of her accepting it, smiled too at her positive reaction.

In conclusion, he ended up needing to make more closet space for her countless boots, but he was happy that she could call the space her own (and she looks great in those boots, he would never complain about making room for them).

The snack table was almost empty and that made Anne happy. She might not be good at desserts, but her food was always praised and she almost never had leftovers when she cooked for her friends.

“This sandwich is delicious, aunt Anne!” Daniel stated, taking another one from the table and sitting on the sofa next to her. “Can I take some home?”

“Of course you can! There’s more stored in the kitchen, I’ll put it on the side for you to take.” She continued, now coming closer to whisper. “You can give Snoop a bite, I won’t tell your mom.”

“Hey, I’m watching you two!” Sandra said towards the back of the sofa, pointing at the two jokingly. She was talking to Vincent leaning against the wall in the hallway, looking anxious.

There was approximately 10 people spread throughout the room at this gathering. The couple chose to host a celebration for the launch of Sandra's new book, a dear friend of both, and tried to make room for everyone present. She was very delighted with the honor, although unaccustomed to the positive attention she was receiving.

Even though they weren't glued to each other at the party, Anne and Vincent always stopped for a moment to exchange a kiss and ask if everything was okay. He, even more so, couldn't stop admiring his girlfriend from afar. Parties like this always made him happy to be able to share the love he had for her and also show others that this was his girl.

It was around 6pm that they said their goodbyes and thanked their friends for being there. After closing the door, Anne took a deep breath and leaned against it with Vincent kissing her neck and hugging her waist.

“Had fun today?” He asked against her neck, kissing slowly until he reached her face. Hugging him back, she just nodded yes, pulling him into a longing and passionate kiss.

Vincent pressed his body against hers and tightened his grip, placing his free hand against the wall for support. Everything was going well, until Vincent suddenly stopped, as if he couldn't give in to temptation yet.

He also took a deep breath, with a shy smile as he looked at her.

“Is something wrong?” She asked, still leaning against the door and resting her hands on his shoulder.

"What?" He retorted.

“During the party, you kept looking at me like that, with those heart-eyes, that fool in love face of yours. And now you're doing it again. It seems... different.”

Vincent laughed awkwardly, as if he was unprepared to respond that quickly. “In my defense, I always look like a fool in love when I’m with you.”

Before anything else, Vincent took a red velvet box out of his pocket and opened it, showing a silver ring made especially for her. With the hand that was on her waist, he slipped into her hand and intertwined their fingers.

“Kneeling isn’t your style, nor are long speeches in front of our friends, but I can’t just leave the ring in your hand without saying anything. The day I saw you for the first time, I was intrigued. The second time, that feeling I had of needing to talk to you urgently, of not letting the opportunity pass, I think, somehow, I knew we were going to get to this moment right now. By the third time - I was already in love. Head over heels, worshiping the ground you pass, heart-eyes, whatever you want to call it. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't feel those butterflies in my stomach before seeing you, that I don't feel the eager to be by your side. If you do me the honor of marrying me, I can promise that you will have a man who wakes up in love with you every day. Forever.”

Anne's eyes were already full of tears as soon as she saw the box and she couldn't help but shed them when she heard the proposal.

The last 4 years of their lives were instinctive, passionate, in a way she never thought she would experience. All her last lovers didn't last long, they couldn't handle her personality or couldn't love her right, so she was left with no hope that it would change. But Vincent's speech was something that she not only believed, she felt. Every day, she felt his love, his affection and his care. Wave of action speaks louder than words and she trusted her man.

There was no other answer than yes.

The same word was repeated by the two of them at the registry office a few months later. The idea was never a big party, it didn't suit either of their personalities, but Anne always wanted a dress and a veil, so they were both there, in their wedding clothes just before lunch time in the registry office next to Vincent's work place.

“I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride!”

With that sentence, the two shared a classic wedding kiss, with Vincent holding her around the waist and Anne throwing her leg up. They could live that moment over and over again, but they needed to go out for a little celebration party with their friends before they left for their honeymoon (and Anne was more than eager to have her friends around so she could toss the bouquet).

Outside, in another snowy day, Anne reached through the car window and took a black bag from the glove compartment, handing it to her now husband.

“What is it?” He held on, swinging by the loop to feel the weight so he could find out what it could be.

“It's your wedding gift.” She cheerfully replied.

He stole one more kiss from his wife before opening the bag, already imagining what could be inside.

“It has our initials and today’s date on it,” she pointed to the bottom where the details were, “so no other girl coming out of court will need to offer you the lighter.”

Vincent took a cigarette out of his jacket pocket and lit it with his newest gift, but without inhaling, just lighting it for the sake of it.

“No one will have my love. Only you, mon chéri."

#vincent renzi #vincent renzi x reader #swann arlaud #swann arlaud x reader #anatomy of a fall #fluff #i scrobbled this song 102 times to write this #my love mine all mine

[suzukiblu]

hello, you like superheroes and I have a superhero-related question so I was hoping you might be able to help. though it is not specifically about your specific favorite heroes.

I'm trying to design a supersuit, and I'd like for the mask to like. go all the way around the back of the head instead of just being in front. partly because more realistic staying in place, partly for other reasons.

but I'm having trouble thinking of supers with that kinda shape to look at for inspiration to not have it look the wrong kind of goofy (supersuits are always gonna look a bit silly. but there's still some kind of balance possible)

I know the flash and the batman have cowls, and I think their main goofiness counter might be the shapes?? flash has his lil lightning bolt antennae, and batman has pointy ears. whereas I try to picture just a smooth topped mask and my brain goes haha that's silly

and I cannot think of any supers at all right now who have a mask which covers the top of their head but isn't attached to the shirt part of their supersuits

except maybe Jay Flash, though his might just be a helmet?? I don’t remember. It definitely needs to cover most (but not all!) of the face as well.

Anyway. so the question is. Do you have any thoughts on supers to look up as idea references?

Jay Garrick just has a helmet iirc, yeah. There are actually some pretty cool alternate mask designs out there I know of that don't require spirit gum, though, so off the top of my head:

the Netflix version of Daredevil started out with an opaque over-the-eyes/over-the-hair cloth mask that tied behind his head

I usually see Connor Hawke's version of Green Arrow done with a TMNT-style eye mask tied around the back of his head and an accompanying hood to go with it

Arrowette/Cissie King-Jones' design from Young Justice 98 had a ridged mask that went over the upper half of her face and the top of her head, leaving her hair loose behind/underneath, including a variant with a hood

Empress/Anita Fite wore a full face mask with some cool shapes in it and a big curly ponytail out the back

Wonder Girl/Cassie Sandsmark originally wore goggles

Spoiler/Stephanie Brown originally wore a full-cover stocking mask with very large lenses and a hood over it and I believe currently wears a mask over her mouth and a hood

Speedy/Mia Dearden has worn a mask that ties around the back of the head with a hood

Batgirl/Cassandra Cain originally wore a full face mask that covered her whole face and all her hair

I frequently see Ravager/Rose Wilson wearing an eye mask that covers the top of her head and ties in the back

at least one of Barbara Gordon's more recent Batgirl designs has a combination eye mask/helmet, or at least something akin to one

Red Hood/Jason Todd has worn both a full helmet and a muzzle with an eye mask and a hood, though I thiiiiink the eye mask was a domino

Star-Lord/Peter Quill wears a helmet that wraps around the back of his head

Chamber/Jono Starsmore wears a mask made of leather straps wrapped and layered around the bottom half of his "face"

Jubilee/Jubilation Lee wears an opaque visor

Cyclops/Scott Summers wears an opaque visor

the Winter Soldier/Bucky Barnes wears a strapped-on muzzle and also grease paint around his eyes in at least one movie

Annnnnd I'mma stop there before I take over anyone's dash, haha. Some of these are older designs, but hopefully a helpful starting point or two is somewhere in there!

#rintalk #nonbinary-octopus

[yingjiaoyue]

Jiao Yue's Parents!

Mr. Ying (Ying Zhuang, 應壮)

Mr. Ying is a professional merchant at the village. He's got a good reputation when it comes to business. He's sharp, intellectual, straightforward, and calculated. Though he barely has any time for his family, he still provides for them financially.

Mrs. Ying (Ying Yu, 應玉)

Mrs. Ying is a teacher at the village. She's very helpful and kind to other people and children. She has a very big heart for everyone. Though, she gets strict and easily snaps when things don't go as the way she wants.

More parent moments w/ child Jiao Yue...

TW: Daddy (Abandonment) Issues & Mommy (Attachment) Issues

Back when Jiao Yue is 5 years old. She always wondered what her father was like, so she tries to get closer with her father. Although, Mr. Ying isn't the kind of affectionate father to spend time with his child. He thinks it's "useless" or a "waste of time". Which ends up as Jiao Yue feeling isolated from his father, lacking a father-figure in her childhood. Whenever she sees other children having fun with their fathers, she slightly gets jealous but doesn't say it anyways.

Her mother on the other hand, is quite the opposite from her father. Mrs. Ying is much more understanding and has empathy. There was a time wherein Jiao Yue injured her arm when playing alone, and Mrs. Ying told her not to play outside anymore and instead to focus on her studies.

Jiao Yue is more attached to her mother, so she's basically a mama's girl. Although, there are times wherein Jiao Yue would not be able to reach her mother's expectations, which causes Mrs. Ying to snap at Jiao Yue. Just like Mr. Ying, Mrs. Ying also values her reputation as a teacher and a mother. She always believes that whatever her daughter does reflects her image. So when Jiao Yue got a B+... it didn't really end well.

But then again, Mrs. Ying also tries to empathize with Jiao Yue... but it doesn't really look that way. It's more like Mrs. Ying tries to make Jiao Yue empathize with her thoughts, using the "I just want what's the best for you, daughter." line to Jiao Yue. Of course, since Jiao Yue is attached to her mother, Jiao Yue believes what her mother says all the time. So whenever her mother accidentally makes a mistake, and her mother would gaslight Jiao Yue it's her fault... well, Jiao Yue would believe her.

So in short, Jiao Yue barely knows Mr. Ying and doesn't have a proper father-figure (which leads to her having horrible odd taste in men) and Jiao Yue is like Mrs. Ying very own puppet rather than her own daughter.

I totally didn't used my irl experiences as a reference :^

Extra!

Remember when I said Jiao Yue is half-human and half-senri? And her senri bloodline comes from her mother?

Well, Mrs. Ying is also a half-senri (because her father is a human and her mother is a full-senri). Although, she has a special ornament to prevent her from awakening her senri spirit inside. As you can see, she wears this bracelet, and yes, that's the special ornament. It's a demon-sealing bracelet.

Supposedly, Mrs. Ying was going to give one to Jiao Yue. But since Jiao Yue grew to be kind of scared of her mother and didn't want to make her mother mad, especially when she killed someone at 15, Jiao Yue never mentioned anything about her also being a senri, so she never got the bracelet that could've help her seal the demon inside her.

---

#ying jiao yue #lmk oc #lego monkie kid

[harrowharkwife]

for the character meme: dulcie or cam or pal or a character of ur choosing!!! hehe

!!!!! ty lem!! im gonna do my girl dulcie...

favorite thing about them: honestly just the way she's written- it never fails to make me emotional that she *is* explicitly written as being brave and strong, but tamsyn neatly sidesteps the "inspiration porn" ableist stereotype of writing a character as being brave/strong *because* they are sick. dulcie isn't brave or strong because of her illness. her strength and bravery are explicitly positioned, IMO, as being in response to surviving *ableism* and other people's condescension towards her and mistreatment of her, rather than surviving her illness itself, if that makes sense. her health is just a fact of her life, it's not moralized. which i really, really appreciate. it's a small shift, but it's very meaningful to me.

ALSO deeply special to me: her intentional and careful commitment to boundaries re: The Palamedes Of It All. a refreshing change of pace, as far as these books go vgjtjxdjt

least favorite thing about them: i mean. houser. :/

favorite line: three way tie between "truly, wonderful news for my haters," "i am sick of roses and horny for revenge," and "oops, there i go again, never doing what i'm told"

brOTP: gideon!!!!! i think it's a crying shame they've never met. i think they'd get along tremendously. the whole cytherea gideon thing was Horrid and Awful in so many ways, but it always Extra stings (in an adding-insult-to-injury sort of way) when i think about what it would have been like if gideon had REALLY met dulcinea, and not cyth. dulcie would've been a great friend for her, i think. they'd have been so good at making each other laugh

OTP: honestly these days it's cam? @ palamedes ily but get outta here gayboy it's yuri time now. plus i just love chewing on the concept of cam + comphet, and cam + subconscious internalized misogyny, and cam + gender, and cam + her relationships and interactions with other women. i think there's lots to explore there. camdulcie has a certain "when i was eight i didn't realize i had a crush on the new girl in my grade so i just wrote her a note that said 'get out of my school'" energy about it, To Me

nOTP: idk if i really have one for her, specifically? idk. ianthe or something, fuck it.

random headcanon: stoner. on all levels except physical she is taking fuckall huge bong rips. on the physical level though her lungs suck so i think she'd be a tincture girlie. she's got chronic pain she deserves it. am i projecting? you tell me

unpopular opinion: idk if this is an unpopular opinion exactly, but i always see people referring to thee rejected proposal as being something born primarily out of love/out of romantic intent? and i don't know if that's necessarily how i see it. it was CERTAINLY, and obviously, a factor. but at least from my interpretation of pal's monologue to cytherea at the end there, i get the sense that he had already accepted her boundaries in that regard, because he says he "understood that he was a child." and we also get camilla saying that his motivations in proposing were primarily a means-to-an-end way of getting her off the seventh and letting her die with dignity. iirc her exact words were like "so she could spend what time she had left with people who cared about her." like, don't get me wrong, i think pal is lying to himself if he says that being in love with dulcie wasn't PART of the motivation there. but i find it a lot more interesting in a worldbuilding and social commentary way to interpret the circumstances there as him offering, essentially, to be a hospice doctor at age 19, and marriage being the 'easiest' way to get her off the seventh/planet medical malpractice. there's an imperial misogyny ownership-through-marriage throughline there that's nauseating, as well as the implications re: disability and agency and autonomy, and i think that's all very interesting to explore. i think this view is supported in part by the paldulcie interaction in TUG, where she alludes to the idea that she was cognizant about the impact that bearing witness to death and loss up-close and personal like that changes a person, and that she didn't want to do that to pal and cam, especially given their age. i think it informa dulcie's character and grants her additional narrative agency to look at things from that angle, of her "no" being in reference to *both* the age gap AND her intentional choice to continue suffering on the seventh, rather than put two kids through being hospice caregivers and/or widowers at nineteen– no matter how many times and how sincerely they kept offering, no matter that she would've absolutely had a more peaceful and comfortable end-of-life HAD she accepted his proposal and gone to the sixth to die. i think it says a lot about her as a person, that choice. there's a quiet and meaningful responsibility to her as a person that i find fascinating. and her character is just sooooo firmly rooted in and informed by disability politics, on every level, and i feel like people don't engage with that aspect of her characterization enough!

song i associate with them: ooooh SO many, i have a whole playlist. but i think the biggest ones are

-the drama by kesha ("friday night, get too high, keep checking my pulse, am i dead yet?" / "in the next life i wanna come back, as a housecat as a housecat! i'd sleep and play in the sun, i'd be a fuckin' cute son of a gun!")

-avant gardener by courtney barnett (the whole song really, but especially the lines "the paramedic thinks i'm clever cause i play guitar, i think she's clever cause she stops people dyin'," and "i take a hit off an asthma puffer, i do it wrong, i was never good at smokin' bongs." i just think she'd love this song.)

-honorable mentions include stoned at the nail salon by lorde, life according to raechel by madison cunningham, rose-colored boy by paramore (@ palamedes, lmfao), picture me better by weyes blood, extraordinary machine by fiona apple, rubberband girl by kate bush, last words of a shooting star by mitski.

favorite picture of them: oh man well it obviously has to be my icon... art made for me by the lovely @franzias-cave !!!! based on the concept of "the woman is dying, please do her the decency of allowing her to look the part in fanart." my girl... she's a malign fairy, she's a hot-eyed wraith <3

ty lem this was so fun! i love my gworl :')

[artemislosthunter]

also no more outing myself directly to my friends, you will find out about pronoun and name change through the wonders of instagram stories where you talk abt yourself /hj

#I mean ... I love my friends I really do. but they're cis and ... idk sometimes you can tell #like not transphobic (obviously otherwise they wouldnt be my friends) but just ... cis #never had any doubts about their gender identity. they feel perfectly fine in this little label and never had any doubts #and that is great for them!! Genuinely!! but I also know that none of my gender feelings will make sense to them #I have tried trust me. they are supportive but also ... just confused and lost #bringing the questioning up to them feels like they expect you to have an answer or to help you discover the answer with simple quetsions #that you yourself had asked yourself a thousand times with no clear answer and they somehow expect it to work this time #I know they mean well!! I love that they're trying but also ... it usually just ends up making me feel frustrated and them slightly frustra #frustrated bcs it feels like I am being uncooperative when all they are trying to do is help #so yeah idk how to bring it up #bcs Idk what I am #I just know I don't like being refered to as a girl #I am either indifferent by it as in 'not really but also not really NOT so I guess that works fine' or 'I mentally recoiled' #which is ... not really clear #I might be vaguely ''girl shaped'' on some days #and on some days I am not #but that does not really explain what I am does it #am I male? idk I feel like maybe sometimes I am vaguely ''male shaped'' more so than girl shaped atm I think #but in the end it's always something else entirely I think. it might briefly resemble it but never for long and never entirely #yes I have been debating if 15 y/o me had it all down when they said 'biromantic-asexual genderfluid' #bcs ... yeah I've come to notice ace was actually pretty correct I am definitely somewhere on that spectrum #I am ... very unhorny and genuinely came to realize I do not find people 'hot'. I find them aesthetically nice to look at and that's it #bi ... yeah I had a few phases of doubts but by now I really can't deny that anymore #so 15 y/o me MIGHT HAVE ACTUALLY BEEN RIGHT ABT IT ALL #but I am not sure yet #and until I'm sure I'll ... just not say anything bcs I know it'll just end with confusion and awkwardness

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Laios's three Boy Best Friends. And yes, they hate him.

#dungeon meshi #laios touden #toshiro nakamoto #chilchuck tims #kabru #BF in this context could be boyfriend or best friend. The line is so blurry. #Chilchuck less so but whatever is going on between Shuro and Laios & Kabru and Laios is giving strong: #“dude if you were a girl I'd date the hell out of you”. And from the genderswap extra's that sentiment is canon for BOTH. #This was made prior to the translation of the Laios & Kabru & Shuro restaurant date comic and honestly I am just feeling vindicated. #I don't even know what to call this dynamic other than a situationship. There is so much going on between all of them. #Even on a purely platonic reading - the miscommunication and male yearning for friendship hurt so bad. #When we got the Big Hug scene in the epilogue arc I was whooping and hollering! Pure catharsis moment! #I also don't like hugs very much so I really felt it went Shuro ('hates being touched') went in for the bear hug. #Do not get me started on the agony of 'always lying' Kabru telling the truth (I just wanted to be friends) #and 'always believes' Laios thinking it's another lie and brushing him off. #I am once again supporting dungeon meshi day by posting art. Please watch dungeon meshi. #obligatory edit because I’m tired: YES. Chilchuck cares for Laios and him admitting it was a huge part of his arc #YES he is more just fed up with him that actually hating him. #I needed a third guy to be canonically done with his ass for the THREE WEED SMOKING GIRLFRIENDS reference

[wizzard890]

#succession #tw: csa #like the constant CONSTANT jokes about the topic where he's the victim #the sudden bedwetting before he was just sent away to school #the feelings of responsibility for keeping his family happy and together and Good we're all Good #his self-loathing around sex and intimacy #the way his siblings refer to his physical abuse in a pretty blase way but everything around When He Went Off To School is vague #the show spends a ton of time showing that his actual memories of his childhood are on two tracks: what his siblings saw and what he felt #his father convinced that there's something wrong with him #some fatal crack that can't be fixed - and roman agrees #and PARTICULARLY in the most recent episode when he reveals he couldn't breathe normally around logan #and shiv goes to ask frank and karl 'how bad was dad' #like I don't think logan was the one who did this specifically to roman #but it was clearly someone logan knew #shiv the girl with the selective memory but the girl who knew not to be around those men #being moved enough by her brother's pain to confront the panicked sliver of a question: did dad do this? and if not - did he know? #logan didn't like women but he loved his little girl #shiv was safe #roman? not so much #'why bastard? why base?' why indeed roman

[practically-an-x-man]

still can't get over the fact that my mother went to see Little Shop, read my actor bio (that switches pronouns every line), and even SAID TO MY FACE AFTERWARDS "oh yeah I saw your pronouns in your bio- he, they, she, that thing you did there"

and yet continues to be all like "my daughters" "my girls" "you girls should know..." and she/her pronouns and all that as if nothing has happened

#like seriously how many more fucking bones do I need to throw you. this is not a secret. this has not been a secret in like five years #i don't correct her on the “my girls” thing bc I'd rather have my sister (who's trans too) feel accepted and included #but i Do Not like to be referred to as a girl or a woman or w/e in anything other than a joking manner #and it's starting to get really annoying that I'm trying to be more open about my being genderqueer and she literally doesn't give a shit #i know I probably just need to sit down and talk to her abt it but then she's gonna get all defensive about how she doesn't understand #I'd be willing to explain it to her if that's all it is but she always needs to push her opinions & doesn't actually make an effort to list #idk what this is. Sorry for the rant it's just been turning around in my head for a while

[magentagalaxies]

fucking love it when one of my professors brings up kids in the hall in giving me feedback, not in a pandering way but in a "this is an observation i've made about their work and how you could channel this aspect in your own comedy to get yourself out of your comfort zone and play with new things"

#shoutout to my improv teacher fr #we were talking about how i don't use dynamic physicality and movement as much in my characters #and she brought up how so much of their characters are very physical and encouraged me to play with that #and also specifically character temperament and emotions and stuff bc i have a specific range i play in #and it's funny even tho i personally think my comedy style is most like bruce #and scott in a lot of ways has these uninhibited moments i wish i could throw myself into #in terms of character range/voice/temperament/emotion? i'm playing heavily in the scott zone rn #and my professor was like ''that's great but also i wanna see you play a bruce girl'' #we also had a whole conversation about gender and kith and how gender plays into my improv or is absent from it a lot of the time #and holy shit erin my improv teacher wins cis ally of the day award she was so respectful while also having good feedback #(her feedback was low key ''be more overtly trans even if it makes cis people uncomfortable'') #bc like. i'm very overtly trans in my standup rn like you know how aubrey is #but in improv? sure i play many characters regardless of gender but that's the thing. it's ''regardless'' of gender #so i sort of default to being neutral so that others can project onto me. it's sort of ''idgaf i'm chill'' which in itself still is radical #but it gives ''cis allys'' who don't want to deal with gender an outlet to just project onto me in a way that i could own much more #anyway the way i process feedback is often by repeating it to someone else so like. this didn't need to be a post this is for me #but idk if you're following along with my comedy journey (or even if you just want to hear my professor reference kids in the hall!) #maybe this is of interest to you. in any case i'm very excited to play with all this stuff much more #and i definitely feel confident in my comedic identity and trans identity and most of all my trans-comedian identity #and i'm excited to see how i grow from here

[sealovinq]

i need friends /gen (slight rant in tags)

#xelle.txt #i noticed i don't really have a permanent circle of friends. at least irl #i have one online but they're also busy and i just can't dedicate my time to one friend group #i don't know - it's just the people i thought who were nice turned out to be the exact opposite #and when i found out about that i just kinda. lost interest in making any more friends #my partner is the only person i interact with on a daily basis. the irl friend group i was referring to earlier i'm not exactly close with- #-them either #i feel like if i didn't only give my time in nurturing my romantic relationship i would have done the same for my platonics too #that's still a problem of mine. my time management between love life and friends. heck i even got myself into an unsolvable problem because- #-of my inability to stay consistent #also my brain is kinda fried from reading 20+ pages so pardon any grammatical errors but yeah anyway #honestly i've been craving for interaction here. but i know i won't be active and it'd just be pointless #to gain more friends or followers. i don't exactly make content as consistently as i did before #the other day i had to vent to an ai (would you believe me if it was cha.tgpt) about my troubles because i had no one else to talk to lol #there's just so much going on irl 😭 ya girl's almost starting college and they're throwing so much tasks at us!! #and i feel very very stressed about it because they're usually done in groups i am ALWAYS the assigned leader #which gets exhausting especially when there are lazy members present #anyway #hopefully this weekend i get some time to cool off. but next week i'm back to grinding and working #lol i don't even think i'm in the top ranks anymore. i'm so burnt out. #this is what being an academic achiever gives you oops ZZHSIAHAHAJAHHS #imma sleep now 😭 #idk you can just interact with me or recommend someone you know who self ships in the same medias i do #goodnight everypony 🫶 #vent tw #rant tw

[rosenecklaces]

This people really do live in an alternative world where Rhys it's a true powerful mastermind (he truly isn't , he's just basic gray character charting) and feyre knows nothing about anything. Laugh Out Loud

#literally when did that ever happened i want to know truly #i think their referring to Illyrians? which it's crazy like girl Illyria it's just s*m being her racist self #believe me rhys helping them step by step it's better that whatever weird shit goes on in that blonde mind #also pretty sure Tam court had Many Other Issues than just the taxing but aight.... #acotar #acotar fanbase #AND ANOTHER THING: the fuck does nessian have to do with the post 😭💀 they want nesta to be as stupid as they want her to be so bad #how are you a fan and don't see nes needs rhys to bud heads just as much as he needs her. it's called Conflict for narrative babes

[kinnbig]

What are your pronouns?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#no uhhh #so i'd say “any pronouns” because that's kind of the vibe #like i'm afab and a lesbian and mostly relatively fem presenting and i don't rlly identify as non-binary or trans #so mostly people use she/her and that's completely fine by me lol i am ambivalent #but also! i am just as ambivalent to being called he or they #like! you can use he/him or they/them! that's also totally fine with me! #BUT it's also not actually an “any pronouns” vibe because i know i don't want people to use anything other than she/he/they #i don't personally vibe with ze/zir etc for myself #BUT if i say my pronouns are she/he/they that makes it seem like i particularly want people to rotate them! #when i don't! i just really don't mind as long as it's one of those three lmao #.................yeah ok tl;dr my pronouns are she/he/they but i genuinely don't care which of those you use u don't have to rotate them #you can always use she that's fine by me idc #oh BUT i do prefer to be referred to with a mix of masculine and feminine terms just because it's fun #like. it doesn't make me dysphoric or anything to only get referred to with words like idk #girl/babe/ma'am/queen etc etc #like again. do not mind at all! but it's just more fun to also sometimes get man/bro/sir/king etc u know? #ask #darcey.txt

[moved-to-void-kissed]

I want one of my self-inserts to have an outfit I actually own in real life at some point, but the problem is that my first thought for which one would get that is Aria, who a) has already undergone no less than three outfit changes, and b) has wings and therefore cannot technically feasibly be wearing the fleece I want her to be wearing even though it would be a perfect stand-in for the jacket on this outfit:

I never could have assembled this outfit in the game itself, as I never bought the mask from the Fabergé egg set and the gloves are the Gauntlets of the Raven which I'm not sure ever came back by the time I started playing. And the hairpin wasn't an equippable avatar part; I edited it in after the fact, as well as changing the hair and body colours to be more accurate to my own using reference model textures. So I would have had to approximate with something like the Hibiscus Hair Trinket. Still, it's a neat alternate design for her, right??

#a call from the void #heart of the void #self‑insert: darkness' champion (aria) #my friends in the fatebreakers kept referring to aria as specifically ''a girl(?)'' and I can't quite express how much joy that brought me #and now I really want to use this design somehow even though it literally was not how she appeared in the game when that was active #sometimes you just get attached to stuff I suppose #like I was thinking maybe to give her an alternate design for when she's being used for my selfship with clio??? #to differentiate that from when i'm using her to selfship with aqua even though both happen at different times?? #but I don't know #I just got attached to the outfit because it looks cool and also reminds me of my new fleece which I have worn a *lot* #anyway I am rambling I should stop #none of this was really relevant in the end but I still wanted to say it for my own joy so it can still go here

[sugaroto]

Hey question,

What is this feeling called

(Tw: maybe suicidical thoughts?)

If you're in class and you've been forced to sit in one of the front desks for the rest of the year(not the first one, like the 3rd one) and you have at least 4-6 people behind you and while you're in class you suddenly stop thinking and you're just focusing hard on the nothing in front of you and you ignore the teacher and whatever is happening around you and thinking "I'd rather jump of the balcony right now rather than sitting here for more that another second" because you're not used to be sitting so front and having people behind you and you feel like they watch your every move so sometimes you stop moving at all and anytime you turn back for a question or some shit you feel like you're bothering them and any time you hear a whisper or something you feel like they're judging you even though they're not. And you like, try to not exist much so you don't bother the kids behind but because you're thinking too much about it you can't focus in class and the balcony is beautiful to go and fall from. ps: I forgot to mention it but also like drowning

Like what is that called??

Seriously if anyone has the words to describe it,(if it's even called something)

#cause like i referred to it as a panic attack #but today we were writing a test #and the teacher asked a girl if everything is ok and she was like 'no im having a panic attack but you dont need to worry about it' #and then i think she stopped writing and the teacher talked to her afterwards and i overheard them #and if shes actually having a panic attack and like actually know what it is then who am i to call my feelings that #i also called mine an anxiety attack but maybe its just stupidity z dndjdqnd i nedd todjrvtbdjdjdjd #also #it sucks cause today i had the chance to sit behind for 2 hours #and i was sitting behind the girl and she asked 'why don't you two sit in the front?' #and i was like no i cant sit there i hate it im having panic attacks during class #and then 2 hours later shes the one having a panic attack #also apparently she had her phone on her pocket and the teacher saw it and she thought that the teacher thought she was cheating #and thats why she started panicking #and when she started panicking i started feeling like i was drowning again #and i ended up being the last one in the class #health #school #sugarenia school stuff

[heffrondriving]

“She brings out the flavor, no MSG” I'M SORRY WHAT THE SHIT WAS THAT MR. HENDERSON????? AIIISSHHH FUCK RIGHT OUTTA HERE WITH THAT ASIAN SLANDER BEFORE I WHACK YOU IN THE FACE WITH A GIANT BAG OF JASMINE RICE /j

#FIRST THE SPACE-X LINE NOW THIS WHY DOES THIS MAN ALWAYS GET THE ACTUAL WORST LINE HAJDJDHDSK #AS A FULLBLOODED SOUTHEAST ASIAN THIS IS MY GOD-GIVEN RIGHT TO STAND UP FOR MY HERITAGE AND STOP THE INJUSTICE AND IN THIS ESSAY I WILL #(this is all lighthearted btw but just. some of these new btr lyrics keep throwing me on a loop and ripping my kneecaps out in front of me) #the song is still a certified summer banger even if it does come with that extra dad cringe flavour™ (affectionate) #and yes i know it's litrally just a clever reference to them playing madison square garden (like okay miss sirs flex @ us) but still- #its so smart it circles back around to being stupid and i respect the hustle. pain in the arse to sing along to without context though :'^) #i can't keep explaining to my family that that's what 'MSG' stands for. in this day and age who has the time. this btr lore runs deep ffs #(i have my personal beef with *that line* in call it like i see it but aye that's a rambly tag post for another day >:/) #btr #big time rush #logan henderson #fall #song #lyrics #shitpost #text #the mind of a cricket #do pretty girl don't speak #i'm soooo gonna regret posting this but also. it's been rattling in my mind begging to be let out so sorry for the brainrot jailbreak :')

[mrfoox]

Being genderflud for me is always a mess

#Miranda talking shit #No ok it isnt... But ivr always been a.. 'tomboy' ot whatever and never been a girly girl... I mean i had to play makeup and #Dress up doll for my sister until i was 5 but after that i basically abruptly stopped wearing any dresses unless i had to... #Only thing appearance wise i kept that was feminine was long hair. Idek why i did that? Maybe bc ive always had it so i just kept it... Or #Maybe bc it was the few feminine things i had. Ive had such difficulty with my name. In the teen years it eas severe #But i still never ... Changed it? To this day i haven't. I have my online name having an mr in it but i always give my name and i mean #Yeah... I like being referred to as bro/dude and such but usually don't like being referred to as a girl... I dont hate it usually but im #Indiffrent? Maybe why ive been struggling with sx isnt only bc of my shit self esteem and that but also with gender. I know if i would have #Had the option id want to been born a guy. I mean... Most days at least i think so. Bc i am uncomfortable with my shape and organs. The #Fact i have buubs makes me wamt to shrivel up and perish. But i also mostly love my tighs. Maybe bc i like that on others as well.. #Heck idk. Sometimes i want to really go all out and make myself look cute and girly but i dont havr the confidence or knowledge #So instead i keep wearing what I've been since i was 8 yrd old (big hoodie or tshirt + jeans/sweatpants) would lovr to know someone #Whos into make up and fashion who would teach me and take me out and pick mr outfits. But also i dont think im cute enough to do that #Not cute enough and not cool enough to be a boy ... Im an oddly shaped blob /: #I dont know what i am i just let people call me whatever they want. Its a shame itd usually a girl. Thr time a kid called me 'boy' i was #Genuinely happy but then their parent corrected them and i was like damn... He had it man he knew what was up #Maybe I'd not struggle as much if i was skinny bc 98% of my time I've been overweight so..curves comes with the territory #My moms genes also got me the biggest cake in history like i cant lose it i think its permanent. It can get bigger tho