#I know Oliver was nervous as hell for this

[simm-mouse]

Some reaper shenanigans

Plus Olive

#my bullshit #my art #fanart #the sims 2 #ts2 #strangetown #grim reaper #the sims medieval #the sims medieval reaper #olive specter #Medieval probably taught Grim since he took over and didn't know what the hell he was doing #Med likes to mess with Grim and laughed when he found Olive was pregnant with Nervous #Grim is just like how the hell can I have a child when I'm dead

[remuslovebot]

Ok but what if Felix x fem!reader and Oliver is tryin to kill her first yk but fails like maybe Felix walks in and Oliver tries to lie n cover it up type of thing or that reader just ended up in a small coma? Am I ok to request this?

please i love this, honestly a sucker for angst so thank you for sending this to me 😵🫶🏻

i hope you enjoy xx

❧❧❧❧

pairing: felix catton x fem! reader

warnings: attempted murder, physical abuse, angst but with a happy ending, oliver is his own warning. lmk if i missed anything

masterlist

You had found out Oliver’s secret. He was lying to Felix and everyone about his family.

One day you and Oliver were sun bathing, waiting for Felix to return from a discussion with Farleigh. Oliver was wondering what was taking so long so he went over to where they were. He’d left his phone on his chair and it started to ring.

It was his mother. Curious, you answered the call. That was when you found out everything. The lie about his Father, his financial status, everything. You were in shock and also angry. How dare Oliver take advantage of Felix like that. How dare he take advantage of your friendship.

You planned to confront him and that’s exactly what you went to do. Walking back into the castle, you saw Oliver walking up the stairs.

“Hey Ollie!” You shouted. He turned around and looked at you with confusion. You tossed him his flip phone.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” You asked, your protective side coming out.

“Y/n, you’re acting strange. I don’t know what you mean?” Oliver said, although on the inside he was nervous.

Oliver and you were both on the stair case, he was above you and you were closer to the ledge.

“I know you lied. I know everything! About your father and where you come from. You’re a fucking liar, Ollie,” you said, looking up at him defensively.

With him being on the stairs, he was taller than you. Oliver walked down a couple steps, to match your eyesight.

“How could you have possibly found out?” Oliver asked, his voice now lower and more intense. It wasn’t a denial and you took a step back.

“Your mother called. She wanted to send you a card for your birthday,” you snapped.

“You should be careful. You might trip,” Oliver said. He needed to get rid of you. Or else you would mess up his plans.

You stood your ground, “I’m going to tell Felix. In fact I’m going to tell everyone,” you said lowly, looking directly into Ollie’s eyes.

In an instant, Oliver’s hand went around your neck, choking you. “You are not going to tell a soul. Is that clear?” He asked, almost teasingly.

You panicked and tried to pull away from him, but when you did you fell down the bottom of the stairs. Everything went pitch black.

At that moment, Felix and Farleigh had walked into the room. Farleigh only saw you fall but Felix saw Oliver’s hand around your throat and then saw you collapse down the stairs.

Felix’s heart broke, seeing you unconscious at the bottom of the stairs.

“Oh my god! did you push you her?” Farleigh yelled in shock.

Oliver looked at Farleigh and Felix. “It was an accident. She was going to attack me,” Oliver said, trying to play the victim.

Felix didn’t care though, he knew what he saw. And he wanted answers. But first you need to go a hospital.

“Y/n, baby please wake up,” Felix said, hovering over you on his knees. He lifted your head up and some of your body but you were out cold.

“Felix I—,” Oliver began to say, but Felix looked up at him in pure anger.

“Go. Now. Before I do something I’ll have to cover up,” Felix threatened. If looks could kill then Oliver would be a dead man.

Farleigh called Elsbeth and Sir James and the family immediately called the fastest doctor they could find.

That was the thing about being rich, you could get anything delivered to you at any time.

One of the guest rooms was turned into a hospital room. You still hadn’t woken up and Felix wouldn’t leave your side. The doctor said you weren’t in grave danger. But just in a small coma because of the impact of your head hitting the stone floor and the loss of oxygen from being choked.

Felix was angry at Oliver. Oliver had went to his room after Felix threatened him. Duncan had locked the door.

Felix would get his answers soon. But he knew he wouldn’t believe Oliver in the slightest. He had no right to put his hands on you.

Felix stayed by your side the entire night. You still hadn’t woken up and he was worried you never would. He took your hand and squeezed it comfortingly, he needed you to know that he was by your side.

Then, as if you’d felt Felix’s touch, you slowly opened your eyes.

“Felix,” you said, your voice soft and hoarse.

Felix’s heart leaped and he smiled when you awoke. “Y/n, darling. I’m here,” he said, softly.

“Felix,” you said, beginning to cry. You thought you were going to die. You didn’t know Oliver could do those horrible things.

“Shh it’s okay, lovely girl. I got you. You are safe,” Felix comforted. “I’m not going to let anybody hurt you,” he insisted.

Your stomach filled with butterflies and a small wave of comfort washed over you.

“But Oliver—he, he’s not who you say he is,” You said, looking at Felix like you would need hours to convince him.

But Felix wanted him out of the house for just purely putting his hands on you. When hearing this though, Felix raised a brow.

“How do you mean?” He asked. And you explained. The call with his mother, the confused questions you asked when you heard that his father really wanted to see Oliver.

Felix’s face broke and grew in concern. He felt like an idiot. How could he have put his trust in such a person? How could he have let someone like him anywhere near you?

“I’m so sorry, Felix. I know you two are close,” you said, tears streaming delicately down your face.

Felix shook his head. “Don’t apologize. I should apologize to you. I’ll fix this. We’ll have Oliver out of the house by the end of the day,”

“And when we return to Oxford?” You asked, Felix wiped your tears away with the pads of his thumb.

“We won’t see him back at Oxford, I promise,” Felix replied. “Get some rest. I’ll be right here and I’ll protect you.”

You nodded and closed your eyes. As soon as you fell asleep, Felix called his father into the room. Felix never left your side but told his father that Oliver needed to be removed from the house and a restraining order needed to be placed on him.

Felix would never let anything like this happen again. Not to the people he loves—especially you.

#felix catton x fem! reader #felix catton x reader #felix catton angst #felix catton x y/n #felix catton x reader fluff #felix catton requests #felix catton x reader angst to fluff #saltburn #jacob elordi #jacob elordi x reader

[perrywrites]

I really want a part 4 of "asking 'Can you… Can you hold my hand?' during your first time together" With Rin, Rensuke and Sae plsssss

Thank you!

OMG... YES... My hero hubby how could I ever forget about him 😭😭😭

Asking “Can you… Can you hold my hand?” during your first time together, part 4;

NSFW

Part 1 (Isagi, Hiori, Bachira) and Part 2 (Barou, Shidou, Karasu) and part 3 (Reo, Chigiri, Nagi) and part 5 (Otoya, Oliver, Yukimiya) and part 6 (Kaiser, Ness, Kiyora)

Includes; Rin, Sae, Kunigami 

Rin: he hovers above you, his much larger form eclipsing your trembling body, his eyes as intense as ever as he soaks in your vulnerable position. You don’t know, do you, how long he’s been waiting for this? Not to fuck you, but to make love to you, like this? Have you beneath him like this, all vulnerable, an intimate sight, see you in a way no one else ever has and never will - he’ll make sure of it. Because, after all, Itoshi Rin doesn’t give away his heart easily, he never meant to give it away at all, but then you came along and turned him into a man that would fall apart if you decided you didn’t want him anymore. There was no way he was going to let you go now, his weakness and his only balm. So, he indulges in you, instead, pouring all of his passion into his kisses, he knows exactly how to make you weak, soaking in your whimpers as you weakly hold onto him. That’s right, he’s your anchor, rely on him, hold onto him, because he’s going to make you fall apart right now under him, and he’ll be the one to piece you back together, hold you in his arms. It’ll always be him. He’ll keep on proving it, his hands pulling your legs apart as he nestles inbetween them, his grip now firm on your doughy thighs. He suppresses a groan as your fingers tangle in his hair, pulling on it teasingly - don’t get cuter, dammit, do you want him to become even more impatient than he already is? With a low growl, he grabs onto one of your hands, pinning your wrist down - and you whimper at this, shyly avoiding his eyes as you make that cute little request of him. His pretty eyes widen just the tiniest bit, heart stuttering in his chest, and a profound longing for you fills him even though you’re right there. And he wonders, if you knew, just exactly how crazy you make him? More than anything else? He scoffs, but it’s weak, and he reaches his hand out to yours, his grasp gentle but firm as he interlocks your fingers together. “... You’re such an idiot.” But his words lack any bite as he leans his head back in towards you to capture your lips. You don’t know how desperate you make him, do you? How badly he yearns for you? He needs you, dammit, but hell would freeze over before he’d ever admit that. For now, he’ll just take you to heaven and back, make you cry out his name, and have you keep looking up at him with those dazed starry eyes. He can only ever be satisfied if he makes you as crazy for him as he is for you, because that might be the only way he can ensure you don’t leave him for someone else. Please, don’t leave, please. He’ll fall apart. You don’t understand how much you mean to him. 

Sae: he has you pinned beneath him, ready to be defiled by him, as he looks on at your form with a seemingly impassive gaze, but you can tell his eyes are softer - and definitely teasing. You can tell he’s amused by you - and he is, he so is. He finds the way you tremble beneath him, the flush of your body deepening, the dewiness of your eyes, all of it to be so fascinating. He adores the sweet sounds he can elicit from your lips with ease, smirking lightly at how sensitive he has you over his touch. You’re all nervous and shy, like a bunny, and something about that both melts his heart (though he would rather die than admit that) and strokes a very depraved flame within his psyche. Seeing you like this, all shy, large doe-eyes, so pure and innocent, all of it makes him want to absolutely ruin you on his cock. Make you cry, sob, and then beg for him as he fucks you up. Something about the idea that taking your first time will make you belong to him in a way no man can ever overwrite heats him up in a way he just can’t explain to you - or to anyone else, really. It’s when he positions himself over you with his darkened eyes that you blurt out something that momentarily catches Sae off guard. He raises an eyebrow, and then he chuckles softly, in that low hoarse voice of his, before he leans in to press a chaste kiss against your cheek. “... You’re such a brat,” he mumbles against your skin, dragging his lips over to nibble on your ear. The pride, and hunger, in his chest grows at your sweet whine, and he slowly interlaces your fingers together, giving you what you want with fond exasperation. You’re his responsibility after all, so he’ll take care of you then, make you full on his cock and teach you there’s no man out there better for you than he is. After all, you’ve already tainted him with your colour, so it’s only fair if he gets to taint you in return, right? 

Kunigami: he’s so careful with you, ever the gentleman, treating you like you’re delicate, a flower, or porcelain, or something even more fragile. But, you’re not a flower, or porcelain, you’re a person, with warm soft flesh, and each time he touches you, you shiver and react - whining for him, whining for more. He’s so troubled, each sweet sound that leaves you makes his mind hazy, makes his eyes darken. His rough hands ghost over your body, and squeeze firmly but oh so gently, he’s so careful, so please, for the love of dear god stop being so tempting. Because - because he can feel his self-restraint slipping in the way he grips your hips a little too hard, eager to revel in and satisfy himself through you, and that’s no good. He presses a slightly rough kiss against your lips, drinking in your sounds and muffling them as much as he can. It’s no good, dammit. Don’t be so sweet-sounding, please, don’t look up at him all adoringly, lashline wet as you call out his name like that. You don’t know half the filth in his mind, how badly he wants to defile you and corrupt you, he’s embarrassed by it, honestly. He can feel his head grow fuzzy, cock twitching painfully. The longer he delays this, the less confident he becomes about his self-control, so he hoarsely asks you if you’re ready before positioning himself. And then he freezes when you shyly ask him to hold your hand. How are you this adorable, fuck? He smiles at you reassuringly, pressing sweet kisses all over your face as he reaches out for your hand. How is someone so sweet like you letting him take your first time? He’s so in love with you, fuck. He’s so glad you trust him this much, that you’re letting him be the man in your life. He’ll be so gentle with you, fuck, no matter how badly he wants to pound into you, he’ll treat you right, so right. He’ll make sure you never regret him or your first time, ever, after all this night is about both you and him. Defiling you be damned, he’ll love you, and he’ll love you so right, dammit. You’re the love of his life, don’t worry, he promises to keep you safe and cherish you forever.

#blue lock #bllk #bllk x reader #bllk smut #itoshi rin #rin itoshi x reader #blue lock rin itoshi #itoshi rin smut #blue lock smut #itoshi sae #sae itoshi x reader #itoshi sae x you #itoshi sae x reader #itoshi sae smut #kunigami rensuke #blue lock kunigami #bllk kunigami #kunigami x reader #kunigami smut #kunigami x you #itoshi rin x reader #itoshi rin x you

[jamespotterismydaddy]

So Pretty

michael gavey x partygirl!reader

A/N: had multiple requests for this!

TW: SMUT, dom!reader, leg humping

word count: 1,569 words

You’re about 5 drinks in when you notice the nerd hanging out in the corner of the party.

He’s cute. You think to yourself, even if you’re wondering how he even got in here because there’s no way in hell Annabelle invited him. Oliver is best friends with Felix and even he didn’t get an invite. You stand there for a moment, trying to decide if he’s cute enough to talk to. You do think you know his name, Mitchell or Marshal or whatever. Boredom ends up being reason enough.

“It’s um… Mitchell, right?” You ask after you’ve made your way over to him. His cheeks go bright red. There’s no way you’re talking to him.

“Michael.” He mumbles.

“Oh sorry, Michael baby. How’d you get in here anyway?” 

This is it. He thinks. I’m getting kicked out.

“Isn’t it uh open invite?” He makes up on the spot.

“Yeah Annabelle doesn’t do ‘open invite’.” You shake your head with a bit of a cheeky grin on your face. You may be a little tipsy.

“Fine, sorry. I’ll leave.” He looks a little embarrassed, a little annoyed too as he moves to go around you and to the door.

You place a dainty hand on his chest and push him to the wall with surprising force.

“I don’t remember saying I wanted you to leave.”

“I-I… why not?” He stutters.

“Maybe I like talking to you.” You draw your fingertip around his collar.

“Nobody likes talking to me.” His face is the colour of a strawberry because of how close you are… how pretty you are.

“You’re not very good at this, are you?” You giggle.

“Not very good at what?” He asks bluntly.

“Flirting.” His jaw nearly drops.

“You’re flirting with me?” You didn’t think his face could get redder but it somehow does.

“Am I not making it very obvious?” You ask very sweetly. “I’ll try a little harder then.” And by ‘trying a little harder’ you mean slipping a leg between his.

“What are you-” His words are cut off by a groan as you rub his groin with your thigh.

“I’m flirting.” You say cheekily as you continue to rub, feeling his cock start to harden. His hands stay firmly at his sides as if he’s nervous to touch you, to react.

“You can’t… if you keep going…” He trains off and you quickly realize what he was trying to say.

“Are you really about to cum already?” You tease and retract your leg.

“Wait.” He whimpers before he can think about what he’s asking for.

“You want me to keep going? Let you hump my leg until you cum in your pants… in front of everybody?” That makes him look around a bit nervously but nobody is actually watching the two of you. “Are you really that pent up?”

“You started it.” He murmurs, feeling quite embarrassed now.

“I did start it.” You agree and then go up on your tip toes to whisper in his ear. “How about we go to the bathroom and finish it?”

“But i’ve never - I um…” He trips over his words, kicking himself because it seems like he’s trying to talk you out of it.

“It’s okay. I’ll show you, if you want.” You give him a reassuring smile.

“Y-Yeah, i’d like that.” He matches your smile (which is quite cute) and lets you take him by the hand. The nearest washroom is… occupied so you take him to one a little bit further from the party.

“Here alright?” You ask as you lock the door behind him. “We can always go to my dorm if you’d prefer that?”

“No! I mean no. I’m ready now.” He says, not wanting you to change your mind. “You’re really pretty.” He speaks a bit slower now. He’s never had a girl show interest in him like this before.

“I think you’re really pretty too.” You reply before leaning in to kiss him. He’s very clearly inexperienced but you don’t mind. You enjoy the kiss anyhow.

Your hands run over his body and his hands settle gently on your waist. Your touch moves down to his trousers and you begin to palm him through his pants. He moans into your mouth and you swallow the sweet sounds.

You part your mouth from his. “Can I suck you off?”  He almost cums from the question alone but nods rapidly so you begin to lower yourself to your knees.

“Wait!” He stops you so you rise up to your feet. He takes off his sweater and lays it on the tiles. “Floors dirty.” Is his only explanation and your heart almost bursts. You’re going to give this man the best blowjob of his life.

“You’re sweet.” You say as you get on your knees before him, unbuckling his belt. 

He looks a little flustered at the compliment and then even more so when you take him out of his pants. He’s big, very big.

It’s always the lanky nerds. You think to yourself as you take his length in your hand. You keep eye contact as you press a kiss to the head, making him take a sharp breath. You then let him into your mouth, sucking gently so he doesn’t blow his load right away.

“Oh, god.” He moans as he places a hand on your head so he can play with your hair rather than guiding you. “You’re so so pretty.”

You take him in deeper, bringing a hand up to help you as you feel him touch the back of your throat. The deepthroating seems to make him go a little crazy and he grips your hair tighter.

“Sorry.” He apologizes breathlessly, his words fading away as you suck him harder. He tries to hold off, he really does, but it’s all clearly too much for him as he starts twitching in your mouth. He attempts to pull you off him but you don’t allow him to, giving a look from under your pretty lashes that tells him exactly what you want. He spills in your mouth with a moan of your name and you finally pull your head off so you can swallow. He’s more than mesmerized.

“How was that?” 

“R-Really good. Thank you.” You giggle when he thanks you.

“You wanna fuck me now?” You ask in your most sensual voice.

“Can I eat you out?” He asks quickly, like he had been thinking about it.

You’re a little surprised but you stand back up. “I think i’d like that.”

“Good, um.” He gets on his knees right away. “I’m not sure how but I promise i’m a quick learner.” He says as if he’s still trying to convince you to say yes.

“Don’t worry, I believe you.” You smile at him, running your fingers through his hair before bunching up your tight dress around your waist. The sight of your skimpy little panties is all it takes for him to get hard again. “You can take those off.”

He grins before reaching for the hem of your underwear and starting to pull them down slowly. He’s breathing heavily, looking focused like you’ve never seen before. When he reveals your glistening pussy, he lets out a low groan.

“You’re so pretty.”

“You might have said that once or twice.” You tease as he takes them off fully. He looks up at you for instruction. “Just do what feels right and i’ll guide you from there.”

He nods and looks at your pussy again, surprising you when he lifts your left leg and places it over your shoulder so he has better access. You lean back on the counter as he presses a light kiss to your clit and then one right to your opening. He continues to press little kisses all around, licking a little like he’s trying to drink in your arousal as much as he can.

“Focus here.” You say as you rub your clit slightly to show him what you like and he begins to suckle on it.

His left hand grips your thigh as you notice his right go down to stroke his cock.

“Nuh uh.” You tilt his chin up. “Those hands are for me.” 

He nods obediently and has no complaints as he lifts his fingers to your entrance. He looks up for your approval and when it’s granted, he slips two fingers in.

“Curl them. That’s the spot you want to hit each time.” He takes your advice seriously and starts to finger you as he tongues your clit. He continues for a few minutes, eating you slowly before you notice him rubbing himself against your leg. You find it more arousing than anything so you let him continue.

“Mmm i’m close, Michael.” You whimper as you tug on his hair, feeling him start to rub his cock against you faster as he coaxes you closer.

With another moan, you finish on his tongue and he laps it up before cumming on the floor.

“What a naughty boy.” You tease as he looks up at you, embarrassed.

“Sorry.” He looks down.

Jesus, Michael. Humping her leg like a bloody dog?

“No more apologies. I don’t think i’ve ever cum so hard in my life.”

“Really?” He asks with a grin.

“Really.” You say before leaning down to kiss him.

 Hitting on Michael Gavey might’ve been the best decision you’ve ever made.

taglist (comment to be added): General: @valeskafics @urmomsgirlfriend1 @girlwith-thepearlearring @darylandbethfanforever9 @lovellies @juhdoche @papichulo120627 7 @watercolorskyy @ophelialaufey @aerangi i

#michael gavey x reader #michael gavey smut #michael gavey #saltburn smut #saltburn

[fan-goddess]

Teat of Family Wealth

Authors Note: Short af but I thought of it on my work break. Enjoy the drabble I guess

Taglist: @valeskafics, @omgbrcat @humanpurposes, @watercolorskyy, @blue-serendipity

Warnings: None apart from the occasional swear mixed in. Oh, and probably ooc Michael but who gives a shit?

Felix Catton, is a rich cunt sucking directly of the tit of old familiar wealth, and somehow, he doesn’t even know it.

Though to be fair, you yourself have no idea how you managed to wind up being his friend. Considering that compared to all his other mates, you were probably considered poor. Even though compared to all the non-rich shits in school, you were probably seen as well off.

You’d met Felix on the first day of Oxford, wandering around blindly looking for your introductory class to English. And of course knowing your luck, Felix Catton walked right up to you asking if you were lost, and to your gratitude at the time, you were grateful as he directed you were to go. Even blushing at the fact he insisted on putting his number in your phone, just so you could text him if you ever got lost again.

Though from there, you have no idea what happened. As the next thing you knew, you were trailing along after Felix and hanging out with his friends like some sort of fucking puppy, too afraid to leave the comforts of what it knows and go see the world. You knew you were being absolutely pathetic. A desperate bootlicker practically whining for some sort of attention and validation from someone deemed powerful in this world.

It was probably though why you found it so easy to recognise yourself in Oliver Quick. Another desperate nobody that was all but begging for some attention from the so proclaimed ‘big dogs’ of Oxford.

Though his eyes, those were different from yours. His held a type of longing that was directed only at Felix. Compared to his, your eyes looked like you wanted to kill him.

You don’t know how he met Felix, but by the way he came over to the table in the pub after Felix had called him over was nothing but eager. Oliver had been quick to move, grabbing his drink and practically skipping over. Even though you know you saw someone with him at the table earlier.

“Oh wait are you with anyone?” Felix asked, strangely empathetic as he stared at Oliver. Oliver turned around, and you could clearly see the person he’s just been sitting with in a confusing but funny looking shirt awkwardly waving to him, obviously wondering what the hell happened when he’d gone.

“No, they just left…” Oliver replied, ignoring the poor boy who slowly drops his hand and his head, obviously sad at the sudden loss of his drinking partner and so called friend.

It was so sad to look at, that you move to quickly finish your pint, and stand, offering Oliver your seat as you walk away. You can’t hear if anyone objects. If anything, they probably don’t care about you enough or even at all to even notice.

“Hey! How I roll guy!” You yell, and to your surprise, he actually turns around and gives you a judging glare rivalling even Heras.

“What?” He grunts, his brows furrowed as his eyes rake over your whole body, as if he had the ability to see every one of your insecurities.

You take a deep breathe, oddly nervous. “Oliver Quick is a bootlicking cunt and quite honestly, you deserve a much better friend than that puppy.”

There’s silence between you two, that’s only broken by the odd drunk fuelled talk coming from the direction of the pub, and eventually, by a small hum coming from the guys lips.

“You’re not wrong…” He says, smiling as he no doubt thinks over what you just said. “Though, I suppose the same could be said about you. Don’t you hang desperately on the rich buff arms of your own bff Felix Catton?”

“Felix is as much as my friend as I am friends with my own shit.” You bluntly say, and to your surprise, he begins chuckling, even slowly beginning to physically shake with laughter, while you stand there awkwardly waiting for him to stop.

“Can’t say you’re wrong comparing good old Felix to good old fashioned excrement!” He grins, finally calming down and fixing his glasses which had gone wonky in strangely enthusiastic laughter.

“Wanna grab a pint on me?” You can’t stop yourself from saying it. This guy in front of you, as brought more of a good conversation than any of the people in Felixes friend group ever could. At least this guy laughed at your sense of humour. The others just exchanged awkward looks and fake laughs.

“Sure, why not?” He shrugs, walking in some random direction and leaving you to stand in the path on your own.

“Where are you going?!” You shout, cupping your hand over your mouth while you grin at this unexpected turn of events.

“The pub! First rounds on you bootlicker!” He shouts back, an equal looking grin on his own face that to your surprise, you can’t help but find strangely pretty to look at in this lighting.

“Yeah yeah Roll boy!” You shout, slowly beginning to run after him as he huffs out another low chuckle. Maybe this would be the start of a good friendship? Or maybe this would be your doom? All you knew, is that you really needed to learn this guys name before you buy him his drink.

#michael gavey x reader #michael gavey #Michael gavey Drabble #ewan mitchell fanfiction #ewan mitchell fanfic #ewan mitchell imagine #ewan mitchell x reader #ewan mitchell #saltburn movie #saltburn #Felix Catton #michael gavey x female reader #michael gavey fic #michael gavey x y/n #michael gavey fanfic #michael gavey x you

[w2sology]

can i request a wedding day fic for harry pls? no worries if not. could also be a wedding day hc if that’s easier. thank u!

YES YES YES i'm so in love w this idea.... and i’m also so in love w harry 😣 tried not to make the descriptions of things too specific bc i know everyone has a different idea of what they want their wedding to be like, so most of this is up to ur imagination! <3

mrs wroetoshaw, harry lewis.

summary: you and harry get married, and it's full of so many emotions.

warnings: language, wedding jitters, that's about it!

you both being a nervous mess. it's a canon event.

both of you in separate rooms but still feeling united in your panic

the boys would be trying to reassure harry whilst he pretty much undresses himself in stress, complaining that it's too hot

the girls trying to make sure you don't cry and ruin your makeup

but eventually you both get over it, realising that it's your special day and it's also the day you and harry become best friends for life

the girls all telling you how they've always known you were going to be mrs wroetoshaw from the beginning and you tearing up at that

he would be an absolute mess seeing you walk down the isle, he told everyone he wouldn't cry but god was he wrong...

is it really harry if he doesn't drop a few jokes in his speech? exactly.

olive as your ring bearer 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

once the ceremony part is over, everyone is honestly so glad that they made it through in one piece

being ambushed with kisses and hugs of congratulations from everyone !!!!

harry had his suit matching your dress, down to his socks and underwear bc happy wife = happy life xo

the after party... the boys literally could not wait for it

best man and maid of honour speeches pretty much exposing the both of you but you wouldn't have it any other way!

the slow dance us a must, and even though he'd nag on about how cringe it was, harry would be loving every moment of it

"you're so beautiful" and "can't believe i made you mine for life" being whispered to you by him all day

harry can't wait to use the phrase "my wife", he's literally been using it since you two got engaged tbf

"can this thing end already so we can christen the new home?"

"harry! we haven't even cut the cake yet."

handsy harry. SO handsy. he literally can't believe that he's married because he never saw himself as the type to settle down, but here he is and he's gonna show that off

once he has a few drinks in him he really starts to let loose

and so do you!

dancing with your girls, holding a random child's hands as you bask in the joy of the day

the older guests start to retire to their hotel rooms or homes before everyone else, and when the party starts to die down, harry quite literally scoops you up in his arms and leaves

lots and lots of smiley kisses, kisses on your cheek... anywhere that he can reach

harry fiddling with your ring, something he's always done when you wear them but this time, it feels more special.

you already making plans on what you'll do as a married woman, harry rolling his eyes but you already know he'd be right behind you

he'd be in such a hurry trying to undress himself when you guys get back to your room, a giggling mess in between a make-out session as he tries to take off his top

"i love you so much," he's mumbling to you. "my pretty, pretty wife."

and you're in for a hell of a ride.

#wroetoshaw #wroetoshaw x reader #sidemen x reader #sidemen #wroetoshaw imagine #wroetoshaw imagines #harry lewis #harry lewis x reader

[milaisreading]

🌱🩷: this is dramatic for absolutely no reason. Icb😭 pt2

Warnings: Reader uses she/her. Reader is Isagi's older sister here. Requests are open

⚽️Blue Lock belongs to Muneyuki Kaneshiro and Yusuke Nomura⚽️

"I hope you go to hell." (Y/n) sent Oliver a side-glare, as the boy chuckled and moved closer to her as they walked down the street.

"Come on, (Y/n). You know you missed our dates~"

"Oh yes... I completely missed all the times you would ignore me to flirt with a waitress." The older Isagi glared at the boy, moving further away from him.

"If you come near me, even a little, I will scream."

Oliver's smirk turned into a frown and he sighed, moving away a little as well. There was a short silence as the duo walked down the street, with Oliver sending her looks from time to time.

"Why... why did you want to meet me? Wasn't talking at the bowling alley a few days ago enough?" (Y/n) finally spoke up, earning nervous look from Oliver. Which was a first from him.

"No... I missed talking to ya, and the bowling alley conversation definitely wasn't enough. Especially with your brother glaring at me the whole time."

"I support him in that. To be honest, you deserved way worse."

Oliver sighed at her answer, already expecting no sympathy from her.

"I am sorry... I really am sorry for leaving you like that-"

"You broke up with me via a text message... on the day of our anniversary. No amount of 'I am sorry' will make me forgive or forget that."

The boy flinched at that as (Y/n) glared at him, then turned to look at the road ahead of them. The silence between them was awkward, but (Y/n) liked it. It gave her a chance to de-stress a little.

'Asshole!' She sent a glance towards Oliver, inspecting his face for a moment.

'But he is a handsome one... stupid! Why do you think like that over someone who clearly doesn't care for you...' She scolded herself.

Meanwhile, Oliver was lost in his own thoughts.

'Shit... I really messed it up back then... I wonder if I can make it better in anyway, show her that I really regret it.' Oliver sighed as they approached a restaurant.

"Let's go and have dinner here. It's on me-"

"I can pay for my own food." (Y/n) cut him off, but agreed to have dinner there.

"Of course you can. But, let me cover it tonight-"

"We aren't on a date, Aiku." She reminded him as they walked into the restaurant.

"I am sure you have a girl or two on who you can spend your money on instead." As much as it hurt her to say that, (Y/n) couldn't not say it. The scene at the karaoke bar still hurt her.

'I don't expect him to love or care for me after everything... but to think that I still didn't move on properly and he just...'

Oliver just sighed and kept quiet, knowing right now wasn't the best time to argue about it.

'I screwd up royally... just what could make her see I still care?'

After an awkward dinner and some dry conversations after, they were returning home. (Y/n) was glad that the night was coming to an end.

'I just want to take a bath and forget all of this had happened.'

"Hey... can we talk for a moment?" Oliver suddenly spoke up, grabbing (Y/n)'s wrist to stop her from walking.

"What now?" She asked in a bored manner, removing her first from his hold.

"I... I know you hate me, and I deserve it. I was an ass towards you at the end of the relationship, but..." Oliver stopped, trying to gather his own thoughts as (Y/n) just stared at him with a curious expression.

"But?"

"I... I really do like you. And as short as our relationship was, I really miss it."

(Y/n)'s eyes widened at that, and she just kept staring at Oliver. She couldn't bring herself to say anything at the moment. I mean... what could she say?

"Back then, I wasn't in a good headspace and was going nowhere with my own skills. I didn't want to burden you with all of it... you deserved better. Not a guy who can barely keep himself in line. I realized my mistake, and I wish we could return back to how it was."

(Y/n) felt her eyes sting a little as her hands twitched a little at his words.

"I will do whatever it takes, and wait for however long you want me to, just for us to be together again-"

A loud slap echoed through the street and Oliver flinched and grabbed his reddened cheek.

"(Y/n)..."

"And.... and you couldn't bring yourself to talk to me?" She let out a few sobs.

'She is crying?' Oliver blinked.

"I... you are the worst! Do you know how painful it was when I read that message?! All because... all because you couldn't man up to say how you felt... I..." She buried her face into her palms and Oliver tried to move closer to her.

"Hey... I'm sorry. I don't like seeing you cry-"

"Forget it. I don't want to talk to you anymore." (Y/n) moved away from Oliver and turned around to run away.

"I don't want to look or talk to you... whatever you wanted to say, save it! I just hope the next girl you date... you will love her enough to talk things out."

Before Oliver could say anything or grab her hand, (Y/n) ran off. Her face still buried in her palms.

Oliver felt something break in him as he watched her run off from him. It hurt more than when he broke up with her.

"But I love you-"

"Oliver Aiku! The hell did you do to my sister?!"

The boy shook his head and turned to look at the younger Isagi in surprise. The boy staring at the captain with resentment and rage.

"Isagi... what are you doing here?"

"The better question is what did you do to my sister? Why is she crying, you hag?!" Isagi's glare got more intense as he approached the dumbfounded and heartbroken boy.

'I am such an idiot... I hate him and love him at the same time. Why am I doing this to myself?' (Y/n) thought while walking down the street and trying to wipe her tears away.

'I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.' She thought back at the purple/green-eyed boy.

"And yet I still can't-"

She cut herself off as another body collided into hers, causing the stranger to fall down and her to stumble to the side.

"Ha?!" (Y/n) let out a surprised gasp and removed her hands from her face.

"Can't you watch where you are going, idiot?"

The girl's eyes widened in surprise as teal eyes stared back up at her.

'Itoshi... Sae?! He is still in Japan?!' (Y/n) thought in surprise while looking at the annoyed boy.

#bllk #blue lock anime #blue lock manga #blue lock x reader #bllk x reader #isagi yoichi #blue lock scenarios #isagi's sister #sister reader #oliver aiku #oliver aiku x reader #light angst #???? #Idk #itoshi sae #mentioned

[beardedjoel]

closer | part twenty

joel x f!reader. non-apocalypse au.

series masterlist | main masterlist | ao3  

chapter summary: joel wants to repair things, and you aren't so sure if you want them to be fixed. if you've learned anything about joel, though, it's that he's very persistent. 11.7k words. chapter warnings: 18+ MDNI, age difference (joel is 42 and reader is 25), more angst!, mutual masturbation, phone sex, joel is out here TRYING his hardest a/n: this chapter is super long, i'm sorry if it feels a bit of a mess i just had a lot of ground to cover, and if i'm honest i was really nervous about this after the last chapter hoping i could live up to everyone's expectations and desires for this next part! i really hope everyone enjoys it, there's a lot to unpack here!!! as always comments and reblogs are so appreciated, i love you all!

Everything fuckin’ hurts. 

Those are Joel’s first thoughts as he wakes the next morning. Emotionally, physically, all of it. Sleeping on a couch at his age wasn’t doing him any favors, so he tries to stretch out all the kinks and soreness riddling his body now when he sits up.

He glances at your bedroom door, still tightly shut from last night. and wonders if you’ll ever emerge this morning, or just try to wait it out until he leaves. 

Joel lost count of the amount of times throughout this mostly sleepless night on your couch that he did the same thing, glancing at your door and itching to get up and go open it. Just wanting to comfort you, to talk to you, to say everything that was on his mind. He doesn’t even know if it would even be fair to you to try after what he’d done last night, not even including the shit he pulled this past month. In fact, he feels like he doesn't know much of anything these days.

This last month had been the absolute worst of his entire life. Worse than when Betty had left him, worse than when they’d had their relationship ending fight and she told Joel he ruined her life in as many words. He had nobody to blame but himself in this situation, where with Betty at the least she’d had her own hangups that led to where they’d fallen apart.

He thought he’d learned from it, from the horrible way things had ended with Betty. He’d learned to encourage any girl he’d be lucky enough to have in the future more, to never let them think they could be held back by someone like him. He’d thought he was doing that for Betty before, but by not wanting to leave Austin, not leave everything he’d built there, he was suddenly her villain after years of resentment, and it hurt even now to think of someone he’d cared for so deeply looking at him that way.

Betty had shattered him, through and through, he knew that, and now you were paying the price. Now you were looking at him that way, and it was worse than he could have imagined.

Joel runs a hand over his tired face, ruminating on everything that had led him right here, to sleeping on your couch instead of happily in your bed with his arms wrapped around you. He didn’t know if what he was doing was the right thing, it sure as hell hadn’t felt like it. But how could he let you resent him someday, just like the woman he’d thought loved him before had? He feared that now everything he’d worked to avoid was coming true anyways, that there wasn’t a chance in hell you could ever forgive him.

He felt like he should stand by what he did, breaking things off with you. That was what he should do - for your sake, and for his. Things still hurt now, but if you were ever going to be able to live the life you deserved, he still wondered if he needed to stay out of it for that to happen.

Maybe. Maybe not. He went back and forth countless times a day ever since he’d left your apartment that night before he was too exhausted to think anymore, then crashing into bed and finding that sleep didn’t come easily to him most nights.

He had to do something, some kind of olive branch. It felt pathetic, but all he could think of right now was to bring you coffee and a breakfast sandwich, the one thing you’d said always cured yours and Sofia’s hangovers. If last night was any indication, you seemed like you’d be needing it. Joel quietly creeps over to the side table next to your front door, where you’d haphazardly tossed your purse last night and digs through it, grabbing the keys to your apartment before heading out.

Google told him there was a place relatively close by, only three blocks away that had both of the things he was looking for. With a black coffee for him, an iced vanilla latte and breakfast sandwich for you, he headed back, practically sweating with how much he was rushing to get back before you woke up. If you woke up and saw him gone… his heart sank at the extra pain that might cause you to think he’d just left this morning without even bothering to talk at all.

Joel breathed a sigh of relief when your bedroom door was still closed as he passed into the entryway of your apartment. He set down your food and drink on the counter and perched himself on the edge of the couch, drinking his coffee and tapping his foot nervously. He’d decided somewhere between his walk to the coffee shop and back that it was time to lay it all out there for you, to try to fix some of this damage.

He was ready to do whatever it took to start fixing things, if it was possible. That horrible night, anger and fear had clouded his thoughts to a point where he wasn’t thinking straight, he just knew he needed to run away from what he feared. It turned out to be the biggest mistake he could have made, and he was miserable.

Even if you wouldn’t have him back (he expected that much), he could say his piece and offer apologies for all the stupid shit he’s done. When he hadn’t seen you it was easier, of course, to try and stay away, not say all the apologies he knew were necessary. But now that he was faced with you in the cold light of day, he knew that it was the right thing to do. 

When shortly after, he thinks he hears noise from inside your bedroom, he stiffens and tries to steel himself for whatever uncomfortable conversation could be coming. You crack your bedroom door open slightly, just enough to peer out and see that Joel is still here, sitting on your couch with a coffee in hand, a cup you recognize from your favorite nearby shop. 

Joel’s heart thumps hard in his chest as you emerge, having changed into a pair of pajamas and cleaned your face of all your smudged makeup, looking tense. You stand near your doorway, leaning back against the wall, folding your arms across your chest.

He clears his throat, willing his voice to come to him. “Mornin’,” he croaks out, voice still a bit hoarse from the early morning and not having spoken much for the day yet.

You purse your lips slightly, beginning to fiddle with your hands in front of you anxiously and looking in his direction, but not quite at him. 

“Er, good morning,” you say, your bottom lip going into your mouth as you chew relentlessly at it. “Look-” you start, but Joel starts speaking at the same time, creating an awkward interruption between the two of you.

“Got you some breakfast,” he says, gesturing to the counter. You turn around to see the latte and small bag housing the breakfast sandwich and your lips twitch slightly, but you will yourself not to smile. “Breakfast sandwich, the hangover cure, right?” Joel adds, and you huff a small chuckle before grabbing everything off the counter and sitting down at the kitchen table. This way, you can face Joel but not have to invade his personal space too much.

“Thanks,” you reply, digging into the treats Joel had brought you. “Really needed this. I drank too much last night… I don’t think I can do that again.”

Joel passes you a polite smile and understanding nod, his hands now in his lap, balled into fists. “Y-you were gonna say somethin’, but would it be okay if I speak first? You were right last night, we should talk,” he asks, and you perk up a little, peering at him skeptically.

“Oh, sure… okay,” you say, bracing yourself for whatever you might hear next. Some chastisement, some extra damage to inflict on you, most likely. Joel seems much calmer than last night, though, and it gives you hope this could be a much better conversation.

“I… I’m sorry. Last night was a mess,” Joel breathes. “Shouldn’t have come just to yell at ya. I wasn’t gonna, was gonna leave you be, figured it was just drunk calls or somethin’, to be honest. My worries got the best of me, thought maybe you were in trouble, like with Vince… I should've just called ya back like a normal person and avoided this whole fuckin’ mess. Should’ve… done a lot of things,” Joel breathes out, a pained expression on his face before he continues. “Like called you or messaged you in the last month for starters. I’m real sorry about that, hope you know. I know that just sayin’ it once doesn’t mean much, but I had to.” Joel’s eyes cast down about halfway through his speech, flicking back and forth from the floor to your face, trying to read any kind of reaction or emotion from you.

You sit, stunned with a piece of the breakfast sandwich still in your mouth. You have to force yourself to chew, bringing yourself back to reality as you process what Joel is saying.

“Thank… you for saying all of that,” you start, taking a long pause to try to get your head on straight. It’s too fucking early to be having this talk, but you know you need to power through it. “I know I should have just left it alone too, but you can’t blame me for wanting some kind of answers or closure from you, right? After what you did? Why in my drunkest state I resorted to spamming you like a crazy person?”

“I know… I know…” Joel says quietly before putting his head in his hands for a moment. “Not crazy at all, don’t say that. I understand, and I -” he takes a deep breath, having a hard time putting his feelings into words.

“I should have called. The next day. That night, even. You don’t know how close I was, wasn’t like I walked out and felt all peachy, forgettin’ you existed or somethin’.” Joel thinks quickly about how he’d lose count if he thought about all the times he almost called you, had a message ready to type just to not know what to say in the end. 

You stiffen at his irritation, and Joel’s eyes flash to you, noticing the change. “Sorry… shouldn’t be gettin’ so defensive like that. I’m just angry with myself,” he says.

Your brows pinch together a bit, having not considered that as a possibility for some reason. “You are?” you ask as soon as the thought pops into your mind.

Joel’s eyes widen, not believing that you’d believe he couldn’t possibly be angry with himself in this situation. “‘Course I am, sweetheart,” he says softly, before catching himself. “Sorry, again, Jesus, I’m screwin’ this up, callin’ you those names and stuff. I’ll stop that, promise,” Joel rambles on, swallowing hard before he continues. “I’m very angry with myself. Least I could’ve done was given you a call, but I was feelin’ hurt, and I let that stop me from thinkin’ about how you were feelin’.”

“Yeah, you did, Joel,” you say plainly, taking another bite of your breakfast and trying to keep your face neutral. The last thing you want right now is to show him how badly it broke you, how badly it’s still breaking you right this minute to have him sitting in your apartment after a month of nothing from him. You want him to see that you won’t just immediately fold under him again, that you want to have time if you two could possibly repair any of this. You’re suddenly glad that last night didn’t go the way your drunk self had wanted it to - you’d have slept with Joel in a heartbeat then and would have been in a much worse position this morning.

“Just wanna own that, y’know. That I fucked up there,” he says with a nod, more to himself. “And lots of places.”

“Well. Thank you for doing that.” You know your tone is cold, but you’re afraid to not put some distance between the two of you right now, afraid of what thoughts could come spilling out from your mind if you let your guard down. His face is scrunched up in an emotion you hardly ever got a chance to see on him, his eyes bloodshot and beard overgrown. Now that you see him in the light of day, he kind of looks like hell, if you’re honest. You feel a twinge of pity, and while you’re not usually one to ignore that kind of thing towards someone you care about, for your own self preservation right now, you do.

“Not to assume, or anything, but I’m sure it hurt you. Just ‘cause I was hurt, shouldn’t have hurt you too. I wanted so bad to avoid all my shit from the past, and yet I’m in the same situation… seein’ the way you’re lookin’ at me right now.” He breathes out a long sigh, full of hurt that he hurt you. “I’m real proud of you for everything with the job, and I regret not bein’ able to say that.”

Well shit, now you are going to pity him a little bit. Just a little, you think, that’s all.

You aren’t able to contain the small, reserved smile that pulls at your lips when you hear his words. You’d never doubted that Joel could be sorry for the way things had ended up, but hearing him say so much, be so vulnerable with you, it’s a big start. He’d completely shut down that night in a way you’d never seen him do before, and slowly but surely, he’s opening back up for you.

“Thanks, Joel. I really… appreciate that. I know this has been… well, fucking awful. I know I have my part in this too, but I hope you understand now that my decisions were mine, and not yours to make. I was trying… to keep us together because that’s what I wanted.”

Joel nods quickly, his head bobbing, shaking his already sleep riddled hair everywhere. “‘Course,” he says. “I was afraid if I didn’t do what I did that it would end up bad, and well, it did anyway. Don’t know what I was thinkin’... truth is I wasn’t… thinkin’, that is.” He lets out an exasperated chuckle, one where you know the situation isn’t funny at all, but he doesn’t know what else to do.

“I know, Joel. I get it, what you were trying to do…” you say absentmindedly, eyes drifting off to a spot just past him. You’re quickly running out of steam, feeling the emotions starting to overwhelm you, taking you back to that night when he’d left you. “It just really fucking hurts, the way you went about it,” you add on, quieter now.

“I know, honey, I know. Can’t believe how much I’ve hurt you, how bad I messed up.” Joel puts his head in his hands again, leaving it there and shaking it into his palms. You heard his voice waver on the last words, and you know he’s embarrassed, trying to hide himself from you. Joel thinks over and over that he doesn’t deserve any of it, any of your time, any of the comfort you might give him if you see he’s emotional.

You stand up, the chair scraping across the hardwood floor, piquing Joel’s attention but he still doesn’t lift his head from where it sits, hanging low into his hands. You take a deep breath, worrying you’re about to make the wrong decision, but fuck it, you can’t stop caring about this man no matter how hard you try.

“Joel…” you say quietly, approaching where he sits on the couch. He lifts his head slightly and shakes it.

“N-no, shouldn’t be comforting me,” he blurts out. You ignore him and sit stiffly next to him and put a gentle hand on his shoulder. 

“You’re allowed this, Joel. I am really fucking mad at you, but you still deserve that. Let’s hug, okay? I think we both need it.“ you swallow, feeling unsure of yourself, but proud that you’re trying to set some boundaries. “After that, I think you should head home,” you add on, feeling almost pained to say it, wishing you two could sit here for hours and rebuild what you had, but you know it’ll take more than that. Most of all, it’ll just take what time does best - healing.

Joel lifts his head and turns it to the left, looking into your eyes. His are rimmed red and bloodshot as ever, all the anger you’d seen in them last night completely faded into a hopeless despondency. Despite how completely wretched with regret he looks right now, you can’t help but continue to notice how damn handsome he is. You give him a weak smile that he returns immediately. You stand, urging him up to stand with you by tugging at his hand, and he wraps his arms around you tightly, the urgency in his touch scaring you for a moment that you could fall into its trap. You’re stronger than that right now, you know. You pull yourself close and return the hug, getting a quick breath in of his scent and essence, trying to burn it into your memory before you even realize you’re doing it.

You don’t know where things will go from here, now that it feels like so much is out on the table. Joel has shown you a side you’d never expected to see after he decided to end things that night, and it’s pulled at your heartstrings more than you’d care to admit. As much as you want to just curl yourself into his arms and pick up where you left off, you want to give yourself more respect than that, feeling like you can finally be a bit stronger than the spell Joel has always had you in.

Maybe this is what he always wanted from you - this full independence from him, not taking him too seriously in your life. But why does it make you so sad now that you’ve gotten it?

“Thank you,” Joel murmurs before pulling away. “For listenin’ and not screamin’ me out the door.”

“You know I’m not the screaming type,” you quip back, before realizing the possible double entendre in the words. “I mean… when talking… when… shit, sorry,” you say, trying to laugh it off, and Joel lets out a warm chuckle, the first real laughter shared between the two of you in ages. It feels so fucking good, so natural, but you push the thought away as quickly as it came into your mind.

“I got you, don’t worry,” Joel says reassuringly, squeezing your shoulder before stepping further away, making his way to your front door.

He turns back towards you, and you can see him bite his lip, hesitation written all over his face. “Don’t expect you to forgive me or anythin’ right now, but could I - could I call you sometime, maybe? Or text? Or somethin’?” he asks, and you can’t mask the way your eyebrows lift in surprise, and the way you almost immediately answer “yes”, to him. The desperation in his voice and sad brown eyes pulled at you, your heart tightening inside your chest.

“I don’t know, actually. Can I… think about it? Maybe text you first if I decide it’s okay?” you say, trying to appear more confident than you actually feel right now. You can feel yourself folding quickly, and need Joel to get out of your apartment now, or five minutes ago, if you’re being honest with yourself.

Joel nods, turning his lips down in an expression of consideration. “Sure, ‘course, whatever you need,” he replies, and you breathe a sigh of relief that he’s willing to agree to it.

“Thanks,” you say, giving him another tight smile. He dips his head respectfully before reaching for the doorknob.

“See ya,” he says, and you echo his words back, staring at the door with wide eyes long after he’s left. This is too remnant of the night he’d walked out and left you staring at the door, so you force yourself to move and be productive for the day, getting some cleaning done and rewarding yourself with a hot shower and plenty of couch time afterwards.

You have so much to think about now, and while you feel relieved that Joel had been able to start clearing the air between you two today, you feel uneasy, completely at war with yourself. The part of you that wanted him back in your life, wanted to make up for every bit of lost time was fighting hard with the part of you that felt too hurt to even consider letting him near you again. 

Ultimately, you knew which side you’d choose, and half hated yourself for it.

It didn’t take long for you to decide to take Joel up on his offer of rebuilding contact between the two of you. Later that week, after spending sleepless nights toiling over it, you pull out your phone and type out a message to him while you sit on your couch, shamelessly eating cheese right off the block one evening after work. A situation like this called for comfort food in any way you could get it.

You: Hey there… I think maybe I wouldn’t mind a text here and there from you if that’s still what you want.

There it was: simple, not too eager, only inviting in sporadic contact from him, instead of a full blown tidal wave of Joel. Not even ten minutes later your phone buzzes next to you, and you find your heart jump in your throat, and curse yourself quickly for such an emotional reaction. You’re supposed to be playing it cool, here.

Joel: Thank you, promise I won’t spam you. Hope you’re havin a good night.

Joel’s message didn’t invite anything in return, it was simple and sweet, just a well wish for you. But you could help the itching feeling in your fingers as they hovered over the screen, wondering if you should say anything back. You feel a small swell of pride when you decide against it, half tempted to tell Joel your pathetic little eating situation just to get a laugh out of him. You’re not supposed to care if he thinks you’re funny anymore, anyways.

Over the coming days and weeks, you go about your life, feeling like the tiny door in your heart cracks open a little more each time Joel texts you. They’re usually just sweet little messages - nice wishes for your day or a thinking of you. Each time, you craft a delicate response to keep that stupid heart door from opening wide and letting you get sucked in again. 

Joel: Hope work has been good today, know it can stress you out.

You: Thank you 😊 you too!

—

Joel: Saw your parents today, can’t believe they’re still being nice to me. They seem to be doing well and Benny seemed happy to see me too

You: They’re too nice for their own good! Benny loves you though, he was so obsessed when he stayed over your place

—

Joel: Don’t forget to eat today… I remember you said there was lots of deadlines this week and you tend to do that sometimes

You: Ugh you got me on that one. Totally was about to skip lunch… promise I’ll eat something.

Joel: You better

—

Joel: Hope you had a great week, you deserve it 🙂

You: Thank you Joel. Hope you’ve been doing okay too

Joel: I’m tryin that’s for sure

The messages carried on much like that, one every few days, until they didn’t. You both started to get a bit more detail into messages after almost two weeks of just those small interactions between you two, and you found you didn’t really mind much at all. 

Joel: Started a new season of Lover’s Paradise and I still don’t understand half of what these folks are saying or doing. Need a young people translator or something. This mean I’m really getting old?

You bite back a laugh at his message, kind of loving that he’s still watching Lover’s Paradise even if you two aren’t together.

You: Tell me which episode and I’ll help you out old man

Joel: Ouch… hitting me where it hurts. 

You: Just can’t help myself 😂 you need my young eyes and ears on this one

Joel: Damn right I do. Alright, season eight. No rush, but also I’m totally lost so

You spend the next hour watching the first episode of season eight, not having seen this season before. You wished that Joel was right here next to you so you two could get back into the familiar banter you’d find yourselves in when watching the show. Instead, you text him a rundown of the major drama and encounters you figured he’d have asked you about if he were right here next to you. When you finish, you find that you haven’t stopped smiling nearly the entire hour you two live-texted the show together, and force yourself to frown.

You’re supposed to still be mad at him, right?

—

Joel: Weird question… but do you have my blue Astros shirt?

You: It’s possible… 

You: Oh yeah I just found it actually, I think you left it here.

Joel: Or a known shirt thief stole it like some of my other clothes

You: Who are you calling a thief? Couldn’t be me?

Joel: Judging by the amount of my shirts that mysteriously went missing after I met you, I’d say the finger points itself

You: You have no proof!

You laugh again, and realize that shit, you think you just might be flirting with Joel again. You’re not sure if you should reign it in or let things just flow naturally the way they have been. You’re being reminded how much you love talking to him and how sweet and funny he can be with you. When he responds with a photo of you, sleeping in his bed, sprawled out with the covers kicked off, clad only in one of his Miller Contracting t-shirts and panties, you gasp.

Joel: Got some proof right here.

Joel: Couldn’t bring myself to delete it, I can if you want.

You: Literally gasped… can’t believe you took that.

You: And no, you keep it. But now I’m wondering how many more of those you have.

Joel: My camera roll did seem to fill up once my shirts started going missing. Weird coincidence

You: 😠 you’re dead, Miller

Joel: Like to see you try.

Your face hurts from smiling so long from reading and rereading the messages that you consider locking your phone away for the rest of the night.

—

You wake up one morning to a text from him one morning, time stamped at 12:43am and your eyes widen. 

Joel: I'm thinking of you

Joel: Sorry if that’s me manipulating or something, read about all kinds of stuff online, but fuck I can’t stop thinking of you right now. Need you to know I miss you.

There was so much to unpack there that you spent the entire morning at work completely distracted by it. The most obvious thing, the elephant in the room, was the time. That late and you had to wonder if there was a specific reason he was thinking of you, and your thighs clamped together slightly at the thought of it. Shit, you missed his body so much, all the things he could do for you and to you. Not to mention the moments after, when you’d get your best talking done, just lay and gab to each other for ages sometimes, until one of you fell asleep. It had been so blissful, but you remind yourself those days are in the past.

You kept reading the message over and over, and the thing that stuck out the most was his comments about what he had been researching online. It almost made you laugh, how dad-like that was to be Googling and reading up on manipulation in relationships, or whatever the hell he’d gotten up to. On the other hand, it warmed your heart, showed he was trying to learn about himself, about his own baggage that had led to the way things ended with you two.

You’ve spent hours poring over the words, trying to decide how you should respond, or if you should at all. It was about to open a can of worms you weren’t sure you were ready for. And yet… you seemed unable to help yourself right now. 

Fuck, I can’t stop thinking of you. 

The words practically swim in front of your eyes while you try to get work done on your computer, taunting you and causing you to feel an ache between your legs that hasn’t made an appearance in quite a while. Maybe it was the loneliness, the missing Joel that influenced you right now, but you sigh, taking a deep breath before picking up your phone. 

You: Thinking what about me?

Before you can debate it anymore, you press send, and your hands shake slightly as you toss your phone on your desk, not even wanting to know what the response will be due to your embarrassment. Did that seem too desperate? He was the one practically saying he was touching himself to the thought of you at 1:00 in the morning, so you decide to cut yourself some slack. 

You wait impatiently, and thirty minutes later Joel’s response comes through and you feel your throat tighten when you read it. 

Joel: Think you can guess…

You: Can I call you tonight?

Joel: Anytime

Now that it’s out in the universe, you have no room for regretting taking this step. You couldn’t help but feel for Joel these last few weeks when you saw how hard he was trying. Everything you’d talked about that last morning you saw him had cut deeper and deeper the more you thought about it. Sure, he messed up so badly that you were still angry about it, and he had more than his share of making up to do for it. But you missed the man you’d been with, and now this version of him was slightly tainted from the nearly perfect seeming boyfriend you’d found yourself with before. But you were finding that this tainted version of Joel wasn’t too bad, after all. 

When it came down to it, Joel was scared. He was afraid of your love being too much, of being someone that wasn’t worth your time, love, and energy in the end. How could he think differently when the last time he had all of that, it blew up in his face? You’d known about it from passing mentions and a few times he shared some details of that breakup, but now that you saw the effects of that past relationship, you felt sorry for him. All you had wanted was to show him how much he could mean to you, and it had backfired for the both of you. 

You think you’d always want Joel. Even if you hadn’t been texting these last few weeks, even if he’d never shown up at your apartment that night when you called him over and over, you’d still want him. You’d still… love him. And it made you angry that you couldn’t stop it, couldn’t un-feel it even with how much he’d hurt you. 

But he was learning. He was on Google, looking up how to be better in a relationship, for Christ’s sake. Sure, it wasn’t therapy, but he was trying things in his own Joel way, and it made your heart wrench so hard in your chest it went right down to your stomach, making you feel sick half the time.

So yes, you wanted to hear his voice tonight. And as for anything that happened after he picked up your call…that was your own decisions to grapple with later.

Joel sits eagerly at home, the promise of hearing your voice on the other end of his phone tonight almost too much for him to bear. 

He was trying to be restrained, trying to keep his messages short but cordial to you, just to let you know he still cared, trying to make up for things without suffocating you. But last night he hadn’t been able to help himself when he woke up from dreaming about you with a hard on that was practically painful from the minute he’d opened his eyes. As he was palming the front of his briefs, tracing the outline of himself in his hands, he’d reached for his phone and sent you the first message. 

“Fuck,” he whimpered quietly to himself as his hand snaked into his briefs and wrapped it around his throbbing cock. He missed the way your soft hands felt around it so much, the way you’d giggle for him and moan and scream his name. It was all too much, the dream he’d just had about you had been too real. 

Images of you riding him flashed through his mind as he began moving his hand up and down, collecting the precum leaking out of his tip and spreading it along his shaft. He felt like some dirty old man thinking of you, his significantly younger ex, and getting off on it while you lay sleeping at home and unaware of all of it. But he didn’t stop, couldn’t stop the flashes of you that kept invading his thoughts while he built up a steady pleasure in his core. 

Your perfect ass passed through his thoughts next, memories of it bouncing pleasantly as he slammed his cock into you and left you in pieces, whimpering and crying out for him. Oh fuck, his hand was nothing like that perfect, tight pussy of yours, so lacking in comparison. Joel’s breathing quickened as he got close on every thought of you he could muster up before he groaned out, spilling warm ropes of cum into his fist and laying back to catch his breathing.

Fuck, he shouldn’t have done that. He’d been actively avoiding jerking off to you out of some private respect he was trying to give you, that it would somehow be crossing a line if he allowed himself pleasure at the thought of you after hurting you so badly.

After he washed his hands, cleaned up and got back into bed, he sent you the second message of the night, remembering all of the random relationship articles he’d been reading. It started last week, when he stumbled upon some relationship forum talking about control and age gaps in relationships and it had made his heart sink when he realized he actually really was part of the problem, despite how aware he’d thought he was being. 

So here he was, trying to be mindful that that first message may have been too suggestive, trying too hard to get you back on his side by manipulating you in some way. He had to find some balance - he couldn’t think every single message he sent to you was some kind of tactic, but he did need to be mindful of giving you the space you seemed to want. Every reply you’d sent to him at first had been short and to the point, still friendly but trying not to get too close again, so he wanted to maintain that energy until, or if, you ever felt ready to go further. And lately, it had seemed like you were giving more and more of yourself in the conversations, sometimes texting him back throughout the entire day.

When you responded to his late night horned up messages while Joel was at work the next day, he nearly jumped out of his skin. He was starting to worry that he’d surely screwed up this new rhythm you two had found together, steadily building up a semblance of a friendship again, and had half expected you not to even respond.

Instead you’d taken his text and ran with it, your response only having one meaning behind it as far as he was concerned. Joel found himself tentatively excited when you’d even asked to call him tonight, wondering exactly what this would mean for you two. 

He could barely focus the entire evening, sitting around trying to distract himself. It was fully possible you wouldn’t call, after all, maybe you’d decide against it, and rightfully so, he thinks with a twinge of sadness. He couldn’t expect that you were ready for that just yet. His phone rings around 8:00 and Joel half jumps up off the couch, scrambling to answer it with fumbling fingers.

“Hello?” he says, his voice rough as he clears his throat.

“Um. Hi,” your little voice comes through his speaker, sounding somewhat shy. Christ was it music to his ears, though, hearing just those two sounds from you.

“Hey,” Joel replies, “Wh-what’s goin’ on?”

“Nothing. I just… we haven’t talked in a while.”

“We talk pretty often, it seems,” Joel replies carefully. Not nearly often enough for him, but he’s been taking what he can get, what he feels is appropriate right now.

“I guess. Just thought I should hear your voice,” you say back, your voice slightly raspy with that end of the day tone that Joel has always adored.

Joel chuckles a little bit. “That so? Well it’s nice to hear yours.”

“You too…” you reply, trailing off into a somewhat awkward silence. “What’re you doing?”

“Watchin’ TV. Waitin’ for you to call, mostly,” Joel replies nonchalantly, having no shame in admitting just how eagerly he’d been awaiting you.

“Really? I hope I didn’t keep you waiting. I wasn’t sure if I was gonna… I went back and forth.”

“No no, s’okay. Wanted you to call only if you wanted to do it. Don’t get me wrong, glad you did, but if you’re not sure about all of it, s’okay.”

“I don’t know, I’m just nervous. I don’t want to get hurt,” you reply, unsure of how to explain the myriad of fucked up feelings that have been plaguing you recently. You’d let Joel back in just enough to feel deeply for him once again, and felt like you were risking everything for it. You didn’t think you could survive going through what he put you through another time, so you wanted to be sure this time that he’d stick around.

“I know, s’the last thing I want, too,” Joel says, musing on your words. “Hope you trust it’s just a phone call, nothin’ more. We’re just talkin’, no pressure. Can hang up whenever you want, in fact, and I won’t be offended,” Joel says, and you can hear that he’s nervous, that he wants to say all the right things to you so badly. “Well, maybe a little bit offended but don’t worry ‘bout that,” he adds with a light hearted chuckle. 

You laugh a little, Joel’s reassuring words right now easing some of your tension. “Thanks. Just a phone call, then.”

Joel nods, giving an “mhm” into the phone for you. “So, what have you been doin’? Besides waitin’ to call me,” he asks with a playful hint in his tone.

You lay on your bed, fiddling with your hands anxiously as you crush your phone in between your shoulder and cheek. “Nothing really… just at home after work, made some dinner, the usual stuff. I…er-” you say, unsure really of what you expected from this phone call, but it wasn’t this. The way you keep trailing off suggests to Joel, being no stranger to you, that you have more to say.

“What is it, huh? You seem like you gotta say somethin’.”

“Okay, fine. Your texts… last night.”

Joel freezes up a little, feeling a slight wave of shame washing over him for what he’d done. That maybe you’d instantly realized the exact context of the messages - it wasn’t like it wasn’t obvious if you had half a brain. 

“Right. Sorry ‘bout that. Was just one of those nights, y’know? Really shouldn’t’ve made things weird like that.”

“Yeah no, it’s okay, I uh, didn’t mind it.”

“Oh,” Joel says quietly, the realization fully hitting him now. The beginnings of an excited smirk pull on his face. “Did you like knowin’ I was thinkin’ of you?”

“I- I think I did,” you say simply, your voice seeming to unintentionally go down an octave. “I liked it. I mean I think of you too, seems only natural.”

Joel feels relief and too many other emotions to even begin to name at your response. His heartbeat quickens with the possibilities before you two right now, and if they’re heading in the direction he thinks it might, he worries he’s in trouble now. Once he starts down that road again, how could he ever go back?

“Why so late, huh? When you thought about me?” you ask him, silently cursing yourself for being unable to help the words coming out of your mouth right now. You know what this is leading to, but you’re not entirely thinking with your head at the moment. 

“Couldn’t sleep. Woke up, actually, from a dream.” Joel wants to divulge everything, all the dirty little details of what you two had been doing in his sleep, but he wants to make sure you feel in control of the conversation more than he is, that this is really what you want. 

“About me?” you ask, your eyebrows raising. 

“‘Course it was, why else would I text ya,” Joel says with a chuckle.

“I dream about you too… it always feels good but kind of sad, too. Like you’re right there with me, and it’s amazing, and then...” You’re finding it easy to be so open with the phone between you two - you don’t know that you’d have the guts to say any of this to Joel’s face if he were here. 

“Oh, honey… I’m sorry,” Joel replies sympathetically, his voice softer. 

“I shouldn’t even wish you were here when that happens, but I do, you know.”

“I do too, it’s okay,” Joel says quietly, a soft confidence in his words.

“Joel…”

“Hmm?”

“Will you tell me about your dream?”

“Honey… you really want to do this? You know this is different from the way we’ve been talkin’ lately.” Joel licks his hips nervously before pulling them into his mouth, awaiting your response. 

“Yes…” you breathe out quietly. “I do.”

“You’re sure?” Joel asks, desperately hoping you two aren’t making a mistake right now. You’re not sure if you’re sure, you’re not sure of a damn thing right now other than the fact that you miss Joel fucking Miller. 

“Yes, please Joel, I need you right now, haven’t stopped thinking all day about it,” you tell him, and you hear a sharp hiss through Joel’s teeth over your phone speaker.

That was all Joel needed to hear to fold completely, the fact that you needed him in any way felt like a miracle. Fuck, it got his cock hard immediately just to hear those words from you. 

“Okay, baby, let’s start out nice and slow, then.” He shifts his weight on the couch, sitting back and relaxing into the cushions. You don’t answer, simply waiting for his next words with baited breath. “Tell me what you’re wearing,” Joel says, his breathing already ramping up into the receiver. 

“Okay, corny ass,” you tease, and he scoffs. 

“We don’t have to do this y’know, if you’re gonna be too busy bustin’ my balls,” Joel replies.

“N-n-no, sorry, sorry,” you say, trying to contain your laughter. How did it suddenly get to the point where you feel silly and almost self conscious doing any of this type of stuff with Joel?

“Now, tell me what you’ve got on, so I can picture ya,” Joel says, trying again. 

“Okay. It’s those purple silky PJ shorts, you know the ones… and a little white t shirt with flowers on it.”

“How little we talkin’?” Joel asks, his curiosity piqued. He knows exactly which shorts you’re describing, he’s seen them many times and absolutely dies to see the way they hug your sweet, perfect ass. But the shirt is a mystery to him, never having seen that one before. 

“Very. Think you’d like it, like everything you can see through it.”

Joel’s groan fills your ear through the phone and your breath bitches as you feel the space between your thighs begin a full ache at hearing the sound from him.

“Sounds so sexy, baby, can picture it now.”

“W-what about you? I want to picture you too.”

“I’m sitting on the couch, uh, got no shirt on and just my house shorts,” he says, and you smirk a little, knowing which bottoms he’s referring to. You would tease him often about how well you could see the outline of his dick in them, but you’d never minded the view one bit. 

“Hot,” you tease, wiggling your eyebrows even though Joel can’t see them.

“Wish I could take all of it off of ya,” Joel says. 

“Trying to get me naked, Miller?”

“I sure as hell would be, if I was there.”

You smile, clutching the phone tightly and licking your lips in anticipation. You don’t feel completely confident about any of this, but you’re following your stupid, fucked up gut right now and this is the road it’s leading you down. 

“So… your dream,” you remind him.

“Uh, alright. I mean, it was real nice. Came up to me and sat on my lap, kissin’ my neck. Felt so good like you always do, baby. Fuck, when you started grinding on me…” Joel trails off, lost between the real life memories and his recent dream. 

“Mhm, always feels so good,” you murmur out, already getting quickly absorbed in his words. “Love doing that.” You let a little smile onto your face as you think of it. 

“Then… well, we…” 

“Joel, when have you ever been shy about this stuff?” you interrupt his stuttering. 

“Dunno, since I’m not sure where things stand, I guess. Just don’t want to go too far.” He slides a hand across his chin through his beard nervously. 

“It’s okay, I want to hear it…. wanna hear you say what you did to me,” you tell him. 

Joel seems to get a sudden resolve, and you can practically hear it hardening over the phone as he decides to go as fully in on this as you seem to want him to. 

“‘Alright then… I fuckin’ tore your little dress off of you, had you flipped onto the couch and fucked you so hard, baby, just like I know you like. Fuckin’ that little pussy until you were cryin’ out f‘me.”

You let out a small gasp at his words, practically being able to feel the sensation he’s talking about, his cock so deep inside of you at an angle like that. “Fuck…” you breathe out quietly, feeling your thighs clamping together. 

“You came so loud for me in the dream, missed hearin’ that sound. Missed everythin’ about ya,” Joel muses. “Wish I could show you right now.”

“You wish you were here with me?” you ask. 

“‘Course I do,” Joel says plainly, like he’s wished for it every single moment of every day since you two have been apart. 

“W-what would you do to me first? I wanna pretend you’re here,” you ask hesitantly. 

“What to do with such a beautiful girl…” Joel says with a little sly chuckle. “First I’d wanna give your perfect tits some attention, baby. Can you do that for me? Play with your tits for me?”

“Mhm,” you moan quietly as you cup one of your breasts through your shirt, thumbing at your already hardened nipple through the fabric. A quiet sound escapes you and you arch your hips a little into the sensation. 

“Good, I can hear ya enjoying that, sounds so good, sweetheart.”

“Touch yourself too, Joel,” you say hastily, your breathing already starting to get more erratic with want. 

“I will, don’t you worry. Right now’s about you,” he says, trying to hold back some of the eagerness in his voice. This is all like a dream right now, the way you’re responding to him and willing to do this. 

You continue touching your chest, squirming with delight and desire and waiting for what Joel has in store for you next, whining out impatiently. 

“You gettin’ wet right now, hm? Why don’t you just check for me, lemme know what you feel,” Joel says.

You slide your hand into your shorts, gasping slightly at the touch in your oversensitive, aroused state. When your fingers swipe through your slit to your entrance, you’re practically dripping out already, the anticipation all day from Joel’s texts having done you in completely. 

“Fuck, I’m so wet, Joel, I need… I need…” you gasp out as your fingers rub against your needy clit. 

“Tell me, c’mon, angel, you can tell me,” Joel coos, urging you on. 

“Need your cock,” you whimper, picturing the girthy length of him you’d gotten to shatter your world so many times.

“I know, I know,” Joel says soothingly. He wishes he could run his hand over your hair right now, smooth it down and make you feel better in so many ways. “Gonna have to pretend for now. Go on and use your fingers on yourself.”

“O-okay,” you breathe out, starting to move your fingers, rubbing them slowly in circles around your clit. You exhale with a little moan, thinking about how long needed this has been for you. The times you’ve felt up for touching yourself recently it often left you feeling a little sad after, hating yourself for how much you missed Joel’s touch. But this… this was already miles better.

“Feels so good, Joel, yeah,” you say quietly, losing yourself in the pleasure.

“Yeah? Bet it does, baby. Put your fingers inside, lemme know how that is. Wanna hear everything.”

“Oh,” you moan out as you plunge two of your fingers inside, pumping them a few times to get them as deep as they’ll go before retreating them and repeating it over and over. “Joel…”

“I’m right here, honey, keep on goin, doin’ so good,” Joel praises. “You got those fingers in there just the way you like ‘em?” 

“I- I do, God, Joel, I miss your fucking fingers, I c-can’t do what they do.”

“I know, baby. My big fingers fill you up so good don’t they?”

“Mhmmm,” you moan out, continuing to fuck yourself a little faster with your fingers. “Can I touch my clit now, too? Tell me,” you say airily, your pleasure steadily building from touching that spongy spot deep inside of you. 

“Do it, rub that little clit, probably aching so bad f’me right now.” Joel lets out a pained groan of his own when you start to moan louder. 

“F-fuck, can’t wait any longer, gotta touch myself too,” he adds, to which you give an encouraging little whimper for him. He pulls his cock out from his shorts where it’s been throbbing, aching, and dripping for you. He gathers the bit of precum leaking out of his head and rubs it along his shaft, letting out a small hiss. Hearing the sounds you’re making, even over the phone, has him practically going feral with need, and he can’t wait another second to start finding some relief.

“Please. Wanna come together, Joel.”

“Okay, we’ll make it happen. Keep touchin’ that pretty pussy for me, don’t stop,” Joel says urgently, and as he lets out a small whimper, you can only assume means he’s starting stroking himself with the same urgent energy.

“I’m s-so close already, thinking of you,” you say, fingers moving faster as you keep your phone balanced on your shoulder while you bring your other hand down to rub your clit rapidly, your climax building up quickly in your core, swirling warm and tingly deep inside of you. 

“Me too, so fuckin’ close, could make me come in a second flat with those pretty little noises you make,” Joel says huskily, and you think you can hear the sloppy sounds of flesh slapping on flesh from his end of the phone. It makes things even hotter for you, only intensifies your pleasure that he’s so undone for you right now. 

“Fuck, I- I’m coming Joel,” you manage to stutter out before your clench around your fingers, your cunt pulling them in tight where they’re brushing against your g-spot still as your other hand rapidly and desperately rubs your clit through the waves of your climax. This release feels so damn needed right now, it feels like it’s going on for ages in the best way, spark after spark skittering across your skin as your entire body arches up into your hands. You’re moaning loudly, barely hearing Joel’s nearly pained sounding grunts on the other end. 

“I’m comin’ too, baby, yes, f-fuck,” Joel groans out while you’re in the midst of crying out, and he comes hard into his hand, so much better than the high he’d had last night. Knowing you were right there on the other end, getting off on your memories of being with him was fucking Joel up hard. He slumps back on the couch, breathing heavily as you feel yourself start to come back down to reality. 

“Mmm,” you murmur quietly into the phone as your entire body relaxes onto your bed. “Needed that,” you say dazedly, half forgetting that what just happened was with Joel, someone you weren’t even certain you should be doing this with. 

“You did so perfect, honey, such a good girl,” Joel says lazily before you fall into silence, the both of you just breathing into the receiver for a few moments. You’re starting to feel a crushing guilt weigh on your chest now that you’re fully coming back down from the high that has been Joel, and you wince a little. 

“Shit, Joel… was this stupid of us?” you ask him suddenly into the silence.

“Probably, honestly,” he says with a chuckle, not seeming to realize the mini crisis you’re starting to have on the other end. “But if you feel okay, I feel okay.”

“I dunno what I feel, now. I- I - shit…” Your thoughts are swirling through your head, full of both regret and joy, the two living together and battling it out for which one will lead your next decision. 

“Take your time, s’okay. That was a lot. Made me feel a little unsure of myself, too,” Joel replies, clearly having sobered up at your tone.

“It did? You never feel that way… doing this stuff,”

“Different this time cause… well, I know I didn’t deserve it,” Joel says sullenly, and your eyebrows pinch together tighter as you consider his words. Joel isn’t one for self deprecating talk, typically, especially when it comes to intimacy. You’re feeling a little pull to comfort him, unsure if like he said, he deserves it. Shit, you’re a mess.

“N-no, it’s not that, I wouldn’t have called you if I wasn’t ready, but now I…” you stutter out, losing your words.

“Not so sure now, right?” Joel asks sympathetically, and you sigh, long and drawn out. 

“I just give in too easily to you, Joel. You hurt me so badly, and here I am, calling you like this, letting you call me baby and all that shit, fucking myself to your voice, when you didn’t talk to me… like none of it even mattered to you! I shouldn’t have done this, I shouldn’t have…” you shake your head, swiping a hand across your face and through your hair in frustration. Apparently tonight the regret is winning, you think irritatedly. 

“What do you need from me? Y’know I’m never gonna say I regret doin’ this tonight. But I know I have more makin’ up to do to you than one phone call, that’s for damn sure. Regret every minute I spent bein’ a stubborn asshole thinkin’ I was doin’ right by you if I just ignored it, let you move on.” Joel lets out a breath and clutches the phone against his ear, desperate to be closer to you. “J-just tell me how I can make it okay for you, honey. Y’know I’ll do anythin’… anythin’ at all if it means you’re okay. Don’t care what it means for me, just can’t stand hearin’ you hurtin’ anymore because of me.” Joel’s voice cracks throughout his speech, desperate words flying out of his mouth to try to comfort you. He’s always seemed like a problem solver to you, the one who immediately needs to get to work, to solve things right away, but you both know this isn’t one of those cases. 

Your breathing steadies a little, finding you’re calming down at his words. “Maybe let’s slow it down a little. This kind of freaked me out,” you say, “I can see you’re trying really hard Joel, I do see it, but is it for real, you know? Or is it just some way to ease your conscience?”

“My conscience’ll be wrecked no matter what, darlin’, so honestly that’s out of the question. Wrecked it for good the minute I walked out your door. All I want now is to do right by ya, whatever that means. Show I’m more than that one stupid fuckin’ night. I can do slow, if that’s what you need,” Joel says, and while you do believe it, your relationship never did anything remotely slow, you think nearly with a laugh.

“You’re more than that night, Joel, I’ve always known that,” you say, taking a pause for the words to sink in  “But slow, yeah, slow sounds good for right now.”

A few weeks later, you and Joel have reverted back to your texting relationship, with a few phone calls sprinkled in, and you’re not even sure what you’re doing anymore at this point. You’ve never felt more confused or conflicted about anything in your life. There’s a part of you that wonders if giving in and telling Joel you want to try things again would be sacrificing whatever self respect you have left. But he’s admitted more than anyone that it was a huge mistake, and has shown he regrets it time and time again. He’s been consistent, not pushing you right now to go further than you want, to give more than you can. It’s all very unlike Joel, who loved to be in control of your relationship before, of the way you two behaved together. From the start, he was always the one guiding you, teaching you about so many new, wonderful things. 

It had to be killing him, that he didn’t have that right now. That everything was on your terms. But he stayed patient and kind, responding to your messages always with the same energy, always open to going only as far as you wanted to take things on the phone together. 

He was trying so damn hard, and that made it so damn hard for you to resist what you knew was inevitably coming. 

You’re musing on all of this as you drive to your parents’ house one evening to have dinner with them. You haven’t spent nearly as much time with them as you normally would, but they’ve been understanding given everything you have going on. It doesn’t help that their next door neighbor was someone you’d tried to avoid seeing for a while, and even now that things are moving in a good direction, you don’t know if you can handle unexpected run-ins with him just yet. You need your decision to be final the next time you see Joel in person. 

Your parents have been kept as up to date on things as you’ve been comfortable sharing, and have been nice enough to come your way most of the time, or meet you out for dinner somewhere so you could actively avoid Joel. You knew they had a lot to say about it but they were holding their tongues for the most part. They had mostly expressed that while they didn’t love how hurt you’d been, they knew you were smart enough to make decisions on your relationship with Joel going forward. It was nice to hear they trusted your intuition, when you weren’t even sure you trusted it yourself right now. 

When you’re on your way to your car after visiting with your parents for a few hours, you steal a quick glance at Joel’s house, feeling the temptation to go knock on his door creep up. He doesn’t even know you’re so nearby, and you’d hoped he didn’t happen to notice your car parked outside. You realize how pathetic it is, how much you’re avoiding Joel right now, but you know deep inside yourself that the only reason you are is because you know the minute he’s in your eyesight, you’re going to lose all control. All your logical thoughts and wishes to build things slowly will go out the window, and you’ll end up back in his bed, wondering if it was the right choice. 

You hear someone call out your name as you’re walking to your car, lost in these thoughts, and you whirl around to see Tommy walking to his own truck, parked on the street outside of Joel’s house.

“Oh, hey, Tommy. It’s been a while,” you say genially. He opens his arms wide for a hug, and you find you don’t mind it at all, settling in between his arms for a quick, tight squeeze.

“Sure has, how you been?” Tommy asks you, with a slightly sad, knowing look in his eyes. You swallow hard, unsure of where to begin on that answer, but you find yourself wanting to answer simply.

“Honestly… I’m alright. Well, just okay,” you admit to him. 

Tommy nods understandingly, but before he can comment on the status of things between you and Joel, you butt in again.

“Hey, how’s… Maria, right? Are you two still seeing each other?” You’d remembered hearing about a few dates Tommy had gone on while you and Joel were still together, and the look on his face had told you just how smitted he was with the women. He lets out a little chuckle and his smile grows almost automatically at your question.”

“Yes ma’am, she’s good as ever. Thanks for rememberin’.” He shoots you a grateful look and you smile back.

“Listen -” he cuts in before you can switch topics again. Your face falls, his tone telling you this isn’t about to be pleasant to hear. 

“I know this ain’t your responsibility, necessarily. But it’s Joel’s birthday on Friday. We’re all takin’ him out after work, the usual spot, Murray’s, you know the one. I think it’d mean a lot if you came.”

Your eyes widen and you feel your breathing go a little unsteady. “I- I - don’t know about that. I haven’t seen him in…” You crinkle your brown, trying to think of how long ago that had been when Joel was sitting in your living room, pouring his heart out to you. It feels like a lifetime ago, now.

“Not one for beggin’, usually, but please think about it. I shouldn’t even say, but sweetheart, he’s miserable right now. You ain’t seen him the way I have. He’s practically sick over this, pouring over everything he says to ya, every memory, everything he could’ve changed. Can tell he’s in his head and he’s a fuckin’ mess.” Tommy’s eyes peer off past you in the distance while he shakes his head. “He told me some, not everything, and ya should be mad at my prick of a brother, but I know he’s tryin’.”

You let out an exasperated chuckle. “He is trying, I know. I see it, Tommy. Thank you for telling me all of that, it’s hard to see what he’s going through, exactly, I guess. Only showing me what he can over text, you know?”

“I know, he’s stubborn like that. Doesn’t want you to feel any pressure, he’s said that much. So unlike him,” Tommy muses with a little smile.  

“I’ll uh, I’ll think about Friday,” you tell him, deciding you owe it to both of them to at least consider the possibility of showing up for Joel’s birthday. 

Tommy lights up a little, a small smile curling his lips upwards. “Thank you, sweetie. Just even considerin’ it, big step in my book. Appreciate you hearin’ me out.”

“Of course, anything for my favorite Miller brother,” you tease, and Tommy gives you a little howl of laughter, his cheeks reddening.

“Never lettin’ that one get back to Joel if I know what’s good for me,” he replies, putting his hands on his hips. “I’ll let ya go, but see ya Friday… maybe?”

“See you, Tommy,” you say before turning and making your way back to your car. You sit with your lips twisted to the side, thinking over what Tommy had said for a few minutes before starting your car.

You had a few days to think on your decision, and truthfully, you had already gotten Joel a birthday gift. A few weeks ago, you’d seen the perfect thing for him and couldn’t resist buying it, and the fact that his birthday was coming just happened to be great timing. You didn’t have a plan on when you’d give it to him, but Tommy’s offer had given you a reason and a little push to maybe finally take that leap. You knew it would be important for Joel that you show up that night.

When Friday night rolls around, you’re a nervous wreck. You’ve had several days to think, and you’re still landing somewhere on the unsure side of things, and you start to think that maybe you never would be sure when it came to seeing Joel after so long apart. As if on autopilot, you grab your keys and get in your car, flying down the highway before you can even second guess yourself and turn around. 

Just keep driving, you assure yourself over and over. You can always decide along the way how you want to go about it, picture the hundreds of different ways this could go tonight, the thought of what you might say to Joel when you finally look him in the eyes.

You pull into the parking lot of Murray’s, the bar that Joel and his crew frequent after work, and find that no matter how hard you try, you can’t make yourself get out of the car. You watch the now darkening sky change past the bar, shrouding the exterior as the glow of the lights from inside spill out. You can’t see much through the bar’s windows, but you know he’s in there, hopefully having a great time. You worry at your lip with the opposite thought coming to mind - that Joel is sitting there waiting for you the entire night, hoping you’ll walk through the door. The thought nearly feels conceited, too self assured, so you push it away, willing that he’s having a nice time with his brother and friends. You just don’t think you can be a part of it.

You can’t just walk into a room full of people that know him, maybe even know who you are too, and try to settle things between you and Joel. It just doesn’t feel fair to either of you to make such an uncomfortable situation when he’s just trying to celebrate his birthday. You nod quickly to yourself as you make your decision, pulling the car out of the parking lot, but instead of making the turn to head back home, you go the opposite way, towards Joel’s house, once again doing it before you can think too hard about the decision.

You step out into the cooler, late September air once you park at Joel’s place, settling yourself on one of the wicker chairs Joel has on his front porch. You might be batshit crazy, waiting for him in the dark like this, but you don’t care anymore. You’re consumed by the thought of Joel coming home, finding you here waiting for him, kissing you until your lips are puffy and raw and in between your legs is aching for him. You can’t deny it any longer - you were meant to be with this man, and you’re ready, more than ready to start putting the past behind you. To try again. Even with the possibility of hurt looming again, you’ll risk it for him. You can only hope he still feels the same way.

The night stretches on, and you’re starting to wonder if this idea really is stupid, when headlights come down the street and a car stops in front of Joel’s house. Through the shadows cast by the streetlamps, you see Joel’s broad form exiting the car, and hear a faint goodbye from him as he shuts the door. You can’t gauge his mood from just his outline or the way he’s walking, and he doesn’t even seem to be that drunk if his steady gait is any indication.

You swallow hard, a nervous pit growing in your stomach as he walks up the driveway and onto the path that leads to his porch. His keys jangle while he searches for the right one for the front door, and you panic that he hasn’t noticed you sitting here yet. You shift a little in your seat, gearing up to speak to him, which gets his attention. He jerks his head in your direction, but freezes when he sees as much of you as he can through the dark, and you know he recognizes that it’s you from the look in his dark eyes.

You clear your throat, putting on your best smile for him.

“Hey stranger…” you say quietly. “Happy birthday.”

taglist: @paleidiot @mumma-moonchild @soph55 @chicville03 @joelsversion @feliciab1990 @fellinfromthetop @gossipgirl-03 @sarap-77 @blueseastorm @akah565​ @pattwtf @scarlettthefierce

sorry if ur tag doesn't work idk why tumblr is like thisssss

#fic: closer #joel miller #joel miller smut #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x reader #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x female reader #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal character fanfiction

[kikis-works]

What Comes Back to Haunt Us.

Summary: It's been 5 years...Tim thought he was safe.

CW: Angst, fluff, mentions of entry 71 and entry 59

It’s been 5 years since Entry #87 was posted. 

You and Tim have been dating for 2 out of those 5 years and decided to take the next step in your relationship. The two of you had met when he accidentally bumped into you at the mental health clinic he had started to attend and before long he had asked you out on a date. Now here you stand in front of a white house, on a quiet street, in the town of Savannah, Georgia. Tim had finished unpacking the last of the boxes the night before and you couldn’t ask for a better home to share with the love of your life. The floor creaked in certain spots as you entered the house and saw Tim making dinner for when you got off work. The sleeves on his red flannel were rolled up and he had a kitchen towel thrown over his shoulder as he sliced the black olives that sat on the wooden cutting board.

“Spaghetti?” You asked from the kitchen door and he turned, smiling.

“You love spaghetti, and I wanted to do something special.” His words made you smile as you set your bag and coat down in the living room. Walking into the kitchen you wrapped your arms around his torso and pressed yourself into his back, enjoying the smell of cigarette smoke and fresh rain that emitted from his body. You felt a deep chuckle come from his body as he scraped the chopped up olives into the spaghetti sauce, turning to face you. He towered over you as he wrapped his arms around you.

“Why don’t you go find a movie to watch? They should be in the hall closet.” He pressed a kiss to your forehead as you nodded, reluctantly leaving his arms. As you made your way to the closet and opened the door, you smiled and called out to the man in the kitchen.

“How do you feel about a horror movie?!” 

“Sounds good! Your choice, doll!” 

“Okay, pretty boy!” You smiled at the pet names you exchanged as you dug around in the closet.

You came across a small box you had never seen before and opened it up. It contained a bunch of tapes that you assumed were Tim’s old tapes. He told you he used to be an actor for an old friend’s student film before their friendship fell apart, but he didn’t like talking about it. He always became anxious and would change the subject when you were asking questions about that time in his life.

Your hand found the old camera and flipped it open, the tape that was already in the camera playing. A man in a t shirt and a cap was sitting in his car at night as he spoke, “Tim called me a little while ago and told me to meet him out here to talk about something. He didn’t say what it was.” 

Was this a sort of vlog for the student film?

“But I assume it had something to do with what all happened at the abandoned hospital a few days ago, which really didn’t go as well I hoped it would, even though I don’t know how I expected it to go. I don’t know what all Tim remembers and what he doesn’t remember, and what he’s lying about remembering and not remembering. But regardless I don’t think he’s gonna be buying my cover story for much longer, and even if he did, it’s not really doing much good, by this point.”

What the hell was this? Cover story for what?

“So, as nervous as it makes me to do this, I think when he gets here, I’m going to come clean with him and tell him the truth about what all’s been going on these past few years. It may make him mad. It may get him on my side. I don’t know what’s gonna happen. But maybe it’ll lead to some answers if I’m lucky.”

Not long after that you noticed Tim’s car pull into the empty parking lot on the video camera screen. Who was this guy and why was he lying to Tim? The video showed Tim get out of his car and march over to the mystery man.

“Tim, listen I-” The man was cut off as Tim punched him in the stomach. The sudden violence made your stomach churn. Not once in the two years that you had known Tim had he ever gotten violent or aggressive. You turned the camera off and sat for a minute before you heard Tim call your name. “Doll, you okay in there?” You pick a movie and rush back to the kitchen.

“Sorry, I couldn’t pick a movie.” He smiled and nodded, handing you a plate of hot spaghetti. 

After dinner, you had your back pressed against his chest as you both lay on the couch finishing the movie. The video footage still made your stomach churn with an uneasy feeling, which made you speak up.

“Tim, why didn’t you tell me we had a camera?” He physically tensed up behind you.

“What are you talking about, doll?”

“The camera and tapes in the closet.” He turned and sat up, turning your face to him.

“Look at me, baby. You can’t watch those tapes. Something…haunts those tapes. If you watch those tapes, there’s no going back. That thing will find you. Even us talking about this is risky.” His tone was dead serious and his eyes were stone cold. All you could do was nod as he pulled you tightly to his chest, gripping onto you as if you were going to disappear into thin air. 

You and Tim made your way into the bedroom and changed into pajamas before climbing into the haven of warm blankets. As you cuddled up to the man beside you, your head on his bare chest, his words about the tapes echoed in your head. They were just tapes…there couldn’t be anything wrong with them. When you were sure that Tim had fallen asleep, you silently climbed out of bed and padded your way over to the hallway closet, opening up the door and staring at the cardboard box that held the supposedly haunted tapes. You sat down on the floor and pulled out the camera, picking a random tape to put into the camera. The tape began to play as you watched silently. Tim and the unknown man were outside of Alex’s old house. It was seemingly normal as they searched the house, but when they entered the basement, the once daylight that was outside had disappeared. That’s when you saw it…a tall man in a suit, but he had no features. His skin was white and he stood at around 10 feet tall, the video and audio distorting. A soft ringing in your ears began to occur as you continued to watch the tape, before it ended. You sat in silence before you softly rose and walked out to the front porch, finding the pack of cigarettes and lighter you kept on the porch. It was cold as you sat on the wooden porch, the wind adding an icy chill to the dark night.

The ringing grew louder as you lit the cigarette and shakily exhaled the smoke. There was no way it was real, it had to have been edited in or they had to have had someone dress up as the tall man. But there was no way to edit a tape…was there? As you began to sink into your thoughts, you stared at the neverending woods that lay in silence across the road from your house. The ringing was unbearable now and that’s when you saw it…the same figure that you had seen in the tapes, just standing along the tree line, staring at you with his eyeless features. You stomped out your half smoked cigarette and made your way back inside, crawling back into the bed beside your warm boyfriend. Your icy toes were happy to be back in the soft bed, the warmth beginning to draw the cold out of them. You snuggled back up to the warm body that you shared the bed with and your eyes became heavy as you felt his arms instinctively wrap around you. Sleep called to you and you happily answered the call.

It had been a week since you touched the camera and watched the tapes. The ringing came back occasionally while you were at work, but you never saw the faceless man again. That was until the night you had a nightmare. 

The leaves crunched under your feet as you ran through the dark and endless woods, the footsteps of the masked man following close behind you. When you turned to see how close he was, you could see his brunette hair that poked out from behind the white mask. The white mask had black around the eyes, the lips were filled in, and eyebrows were drawn on the mask as well. His eyes were dark as his feet pushed him along towards your fear filled body. You turned your face as the cold night air burned in your lungs, your legs threatening to collapse underneath you as you pushed branch after branch out of your face. The faceless man whizzed by as you ran. You only awoke when the masked man tackled you to the ground.

Your eyes were heavy and your head pounded as you moved to roll over in the soft bed. But you weren’t in your bed. Instead you were met with moist dirt and green grass, the trees around you looming and dark. As you sat up, you didn’t recognize where you were. You looked up and judging by the position of the sun, it was around one in the afternoon. You felt the pressure of your phone in your pajama pants. When the hell did that get there? Your phone was charging when you went to bed. You laughed silently, as if the mystery of how your phone got into your pocket was the biggest problem you had right now. You pulled out your phone and your heart raced.

Tim❤️: 42 missed calls

Tim❤️: 6 voicemails

Tim❤️: Did you get called into work?

Tim❤️: Doll?

Tim❤️: Is everything okay?

Tim❤️: You’re starting to worry me

Tim❤️: Please pick up, baby

You quickly dial his phone number and within two rings he picked up. “Oh thank God, you’re okay. Where the hell are you?” The worry in his voice was thick.

“I…I don’t know.”

“What do you mean?” His voice dropped slightly.

“I don’t remember how I got here…or where the hell I am. I had this weird dream where I was running from some kind of masked man, and then I woke up here.” The other side of the line was silent apart from the heavy breathing and the sound of a car door slamming closed.

“Describe what’s around you.”

You looked around and began to walk, the coarse dirt wedging its way in between your toes as you walked along the undistinguished path before you.

“I see a red tower behind the trees.” 

“FUCK!” The sudden vulgar language from the phone made you jump and the sound of an engine roar filled the speaker. “I’m coming to get you. Get to the tower.” His voice was dark as he breathed heavily.

“Doll…I love you. So much.”

“I love you too, Tim.”

The call ended as you made your way through the woods and to the red tower. The paint was faded and it looked as though it would collapse at any minute. You walked inside, careful of the broken glass and sharp wooden pieces. He was coming for you.

It was roughly six hours and the sun was beginning to set before you heard your name being called from somewhere in the woods. Tim. 

You jumped up and began to scream back at him. “Tim?!” You followed the sound of his voice until you saw him from across a clearing. You didn’t think, just ran. He made his way to you quicker than you thought and his arms wrapped around you, his voice breaking as he buried his face into your neck.

“Oh doll, I thought I lost you..”

“I’m right here, Tim. I’m right here.” His hand found its way to your hair as he held you close.

“We need to leave, now.”

All you could do was nod as he picked you up and carried you back to his car.

“I’m so sorry I dragged you into this, doll. I’m sorry.” He pressed a kiss to your forehead before getting behind the wheel and driving away. As you left you noticed the sign that stood in front of the entrance.

‘Rosswood Park.’

#creepypasta #marble hornets #tim wright #tim wright x reader #slenderman #marble hornets x reader

[joelslastofus]

[SUMMARY: Joel falls for temptation with the babysitter, who happens to be his best friends twenty year old daughter.]

Smut, unprotected sex, age difference

“I know…it’s so much isn’t it?” He whispered close to your lips before slowly moving in a rythm.

“Thanks for babysitting last minute” Joel let you in before calling out to his brother Tommy to hurry for work.

“Its alright, I didn’t have any plans for the day” you assured him as you watched him put a few of his belongings in his backpack. You couldn’t help but notice the sight of his forearms flexing as he adjusted what he needed.

“Shit-“ Joel whispered to himself looking down at his t shirt noticing it was backwards.

“Tommy let’s go!” He turned around unexpectedly pulling his shirt over him as he disappeared into the bathroom. The sight of his broad back for just that short second making your heart skip a beat.

“Your father said he forgot to tell you he won’t be home tonight when you return” Joel called out from the bathroom. For just a moment forgetting he was after all, your fathers bestfriend.

“It’s fine, I wasn’t gonna go straight home anyways” you responded as you took off your jacket just as he stepped back out.

“Staying out late tonight?” You hadn’t noticed his eyes quickly wander down your backside before you turned back to him.

“Uh yeah,” you smiled as he gave you a quick nod and yelled once again for his brother.

“Tommy!” He grabbed his bag heading for the door.

“Sarah’s in her room, probably watching a movie. Make yourself comfortable, thanks again” he quickly walked out just as Tommy finally followed. You sighed to yourself after hearing them drive off, you had such a crush on Joel but you knew nothing more would ever come from it.

How could it? You were only twenty years old and Joel was a friend of your fathers.

Sarah and you spent most of your evening watching movies and ordered pizza. She was a sweet eight year old, it was clear her father did a good job raising her.

Soon it was her bedtime and you made sure she was set in bed. You had bought your clothes to change for your plans tonight and did some light make up in the bathroom, you knew Joel would be home soon.

Just as he said, nine on the dot he walked in just as you were finishing up putting on your lip gloss in the mirror.

You found Joel in the kitchen grabbing a drink from the fridge before he turned around and was taken back by the sight he had before him. You wore black jeans and an off the shoulder olive green top. Your high heel boots finishing off your look, Joel was speechless.

“Well you look nice y/n” Tommy walked by distracting Joel for just a second.

“Thanks” you placed your bag over your shoulder.

“Sarahs asleep, her homework is done and we watched a movie and had pizza,” you spoke as Joel looked at you but didn’t seem to be listening at all.

“Joel?” He cleared his throat taking a sip from his drink.

“Yeah-thanks” his eyes again quickly wandering up and down as you looked at your phone.

“What’s it a date?” He leaned on the door way.

“Could you tell? I’m so nervous” you laughed not noticing how he clenched his jaw. Apart of him actually felt jealousy that he knew he shouldn’t have felt. Who the hell was he to feel any type of way. Being so nervous for your date you failed to notice the way your crushes eyes were glued to you.

“I better get going,” you walked towards the door as he followed.

“Thanks for tonight…have fun” he tightened his lip as he held the door open for you and watched you walk out.

The night quickly turned into a disaster. Your date Jacob was a joke, the whole night only trying to touch you not caring how uncomfortable it made you feel. Feeling tipsy off the 3 drinks you had you got in Jacobs car just wanting to be taken home. He drove silently until he pulled over and reached over beginning to kiss your neck. You quickly stopped him only pissing him off.

“Come on, what the hell was the point of me taking you out tonight if I ain’t getting any action?”

“What?” You looked up at him shocked.

“Is that what this is?”

“What did you think I actually liked you?” He began to laugh as your heart crushed into pieces.

“Get out of my car-“

“We’re in the middle of nowhere!”.

“Get out!” He yelled louder. Angrily you grabbed your purse, slamming the door as hard as you could watching him drive off.

It was late and it was getting chilly, you had no way to get home and you could still feel the effects of the alcohol. The thought of calling Joel crossed your mind, before you could stop yourself from doing it you grabbed your phone and began dialing.

Joel sat alone in his living room watching a movie when his phone began to ring. Confused by a sudden late call, he was even more thrown off when he saw your name.

“Hello?”

“Joel? I’m sorry-“ the sound of your voice making him sit up leaning forward.

“What’s the matter?”

“I know it’s late, I…umm…do you think you can please pick me up?” You were clearly upset, he had never heard you like this before.

“Of course, tell me where you are”

“Right before you get onto the expressway on Alley Pond road” you looked up at the sign.

“Yeah-yeah I’ll be there right in a bit” Joel quickly checked on his daughter and left his brother a note before leaving the house.

Joel eventually found you alone in a dark quiet street.

“What the hell?” He whispered to himself before getting out the car. The sight of him walking your way making tears instantly well up.

“Joel, I’m so sorry” he instantly began taking off his jacket to place it around you.

“What the hell you doing here alone?”

“My date went to shit-“ you shook your head looking down.

“He got upset I wouldn’t put out and he left me here. I’m such an idiot-“

“Hey” he stopped you right in your tracks.

“Any man who leaves a woman like this late out in the cold alone is a shit head in my book. He ain’t worth it, sweetheart. Come on” he took his arm out for you to grab onto and walk you to the car. You held on almost stumbling before he quickly caught you.

“How much you had to drink?”

“Just two or three shots. I’m sorry-“

“Stop saying sorry dammit” he helped you into the passenger seat of his car. The warmth making you sigh in comfort.

Joel sat for a moment looking over at you as you looked down in embarrassment.

“I know this isn’t appropriate but I didn’t know who else to call” you whispered.

“I’m glad you called me” he assured you making you look up. Joel turned the car back on and drove off as you looked outside.

“I thought he actually liked me” you laughed at yourself sarcastically.

“Silly me, guess I wasn’t pretty enough”

“Stop it, you’re beautiful” his unexpected words making you look over at him. He could feel your eyes on him as he looked at the road.

“That’s nice of you to say”

“I mean it” his eyes locking with yours.

“Don’t you let that asshole make you think you ain’t good enough. Any man would be lucky to have a chance with you” he looked away before you could respond, speeding off into the road. The rest of the ride was silent up until you got to the front of your house. He quickly got out, opening your door, taking your hand to help you out.

“My dads still not home” you raised your brows as you took his hand, your foot accidentally sliding making your body crash into his.

“You alright?” You could feel his large hands on your waist, your back against the passenger seat.

“Did you really mean what you said back there?” You suddenly asked looking up at him.

“You think I’m beautiful?” His expression changing, he knew this was wrong but he couldn’t help himself. You realized his eyes were on your lips, his hands still on your waist as you stood before him.

“Joel?” He unexpectedly leaned in and kissed you, taking you by surpsie. Your lips locking with his as his hands squeezed your hips, your body completely leaning back against the seat as his body pressed on yours before he pulled his lips away. The two of you panting still close together.

“I’m sorry-“ he whispered.

“Don’t be” you ran your hand through the back of his wavy hair pulling his face back to you, making him kiss you again. The kiss was intense, passionate until he once again pulled himself away.

“You better go” he cleared his throat unable to look you in the eye, he knew your father could pull up any minute and find you two like this.

“Yeah…I should” you whispered thinking the same exact thing. He stepped aside and watched you walk to your door before letting yourself inside.

Joel couldn’t believe what he had just let himself do, hell you couldn’t believe it. Never had Joel shown any signs that he was interested in you in this way…that you noticed.

Joel lay back in his bed that night not being able to stop thinking about how he kissed you. A but of guilt getting to him knowing you were Brian’s daughter. What the hell was he thinking?

That night Joel had a dream of you, the dream causing him to wake up with a massive hard on.

“Shit” he whispered knowing you would be showing up again that day to babysit. He couldn’t allow himself to be alone with you.

The next day you anxiously rang the bell waiting for it to be opened until you saw Joel.

“Hi” you spoke hesitantly, his body instantly tensing.

“Hi” he let you in quickly turning his back to you. You looked around to see if Tommy or Sarah were anywhere near by as he walked into the kitchen and poured himself juice.

“About..last night-“

“I shouldn’t have done that and it was wrong for me to step out of line like that. It won’t happen again” he couldn’t even look up at you as he spoke.

“Ok” you turned around making him comfortable enough to look up noticing you wore some kind of casual dress. Instant sexual thoughts rushing through his mind until you looked up.

“How’s Sarah?”

“Huh? Sarah-she’s fine” he looked over and saw her coming down the hall.

“There she is,homework all done, showered. Now you two just relax till I get home tonight”

“Wanna bake some cookies?” You asked Sarah with a smile. She agreed as the two of you began prepping the kitchen, Joel left with Tommy yet he still couldn’t stop thinking of you.

“Has Brian called you?” Tommy’s question throwing Joel off.

“Brian? For what?”

“Remember the job we were suppose to do with him tomorrow? To confirm it?”

“Oh, shit. No I haven’t heard from him. I’ll give him a call later.”

That night Joel returned alone as Sarah fell asleep on the couch beside you. He picked her up in his arms and gently lay her in bed before closing her door.

“Where’s Tommy?” You asked as you began to get your stuff.

“Out, I don’t know” he responded without looking your way. You could tell he was trying to avoid you.

“How was your day?” You asked as he bit his lip hoping you would leave, he couldn’t allow himself to give into this.

“Come on, Joel” you sighed as he walked down the hall.

“You’re gonna act like nothing happened?” You asked making him stop in his tracks and turn back to you.

“What the hell are you trying to do? If your father knew-“

“He doesn’t have to know anything” you quickly interjected.

“Look I’m not doing anything, I know nothing could happen I just-“

“You just what?” He spoke in a cold tone walking towards you as you began to back away, unaware you walked into the bathroom, before you could come back out he had already blocked the doorway. He closed the door behind him without taking his eyes off you. The room was dim only a light from a post outside the house entering through the window. The sexual tension between the two of you was strong, your heart racing with excitement.

“Joel?” Without saying a word he grabbed you once again kissing you intensely. His hands touching every part of your body until they stopped on your breasts squeezing them. His kisses slowing down as his hands slowly dropped to your waist pulling your pelvis against him making you feel how hard he was.

“See what you’re doing to me?” He whispered in between kisses. You didn’t know what to say until he slowly picked you up and sat you on the sink. His hands slowly pushing up under your dress as he stared into your eyes.

“What if-“

“Shh” he unbuckled his pants dropping them right before his knees as he grabbed your hand and made you grab his dick. You gasped feeling how thick he was. You knew you both were doing something that wasn’t right, but you couldn’t stop. He pulled you close to him, spreading your legs pressing the head of his dick against your pussy. He could feel you soaked through your underwear. Your hands on his shoulders only wanting to feel more of him you pulled him closer, your breathing rapid.

“You want me too huh?” He whispered just as he began to kiss you again reaching between you both. His kisses grew more intense again just as you felt him move your soaked underwear to the side. The tip of him pushing against your entrance, you pulled your lips away uncertain of how this would feel. You weren’t a virgin but he was bigger than what you were used to. He pressed against you harder as he slowly buried himself in you inch by inch. Just watching your expression he could tell you had never felt anything like this. Unexpectedly he thrusted hard making you whimper holding himself in place.

“I know…it’s so much isn’t it?” He whispered close to your lips before slowly moving in a rythm. Each stroke making you more wet for him allowing him to move faster. Your arm around his neck as you leaned your free hand on the sink, moaning softly against him. He began to pull the straps of your dress down, revealing your plump breasts as he quickened his pace. The pleasure he made you feel you hadn’t even come close to with another man, lost in a daze you moaned until you heard the front door being unlocked.

“Shh” Joel didn’t stop, burying his face in the crook of your neck when you heard someone turn the bathroom door knob. You gasped hearing Tommy’s voice on the other end.

“Joel hurry up, I gotta use the bathroom”

“I’m busy in here” Joel continued as he but his bottom lip looking down at himself slide in and out of you.

“What are you taking a shit in the dark?”

“Tommy I’m fucking busy” he panted.

“Well hurry up, Brians coming over so we could go over the job for tomorrow” you gasped in a panic. Your father was coming over?

“Joel” you whispered when you began to feel a sensation that quickly distracted you begin to build up inside you, one you weren’t familiar with and he could see it in your eyes. Tommy mumbled something walking away from the door as Joel moved faster grabbing your face, he felt you tighten up around him.

“Let it go, baby, let it happen” he whispered as he grunted, sweat dripping down his forehead. Your eyes rolled back as you arched your back before a moan louder than you expected escaped your lips. Joel quickly covered your mouth with his hand as he felt you cum all over him.

“That’s it…..there you go…” he whispered feeling your body go limp in his arms. He thrusted a few times more before he quickly pulled out finishing on your thigh struggling to be as quiet as he could.

“Fuck” he grunted low, both panting out of control as he wiped sweat off his face.

“Joel, you alright?!” Tommy was at the door again as you slouched back against the mirror.

“Yeah- yeah I’m fine-“

“I’m going out for a smoke, I’ll wait for Brian out front” and with that you both heard the door close.

Quickly cleaning yourself up Joel didn’t say a word as he washed his face and pulled his pants up. You fixed your dress the best you could looking over at him before looking at the mirror.

“My father is on his way” you spoke with concern before he stopped and looked at you.

“Look…just act like you were in the room reading Sarah a book. Try to act normal” he whispered before opening the door and the two of you walked out.

Just as you walked into the kitchen in walked Tommy and your father.

“Y/n, I didn’t know you were still here” Tommy chuckled as you smiled nervously.

“Hey dad, hey Tommy, I was just reading Sarah a book” you explained as Tommy looked over at Joel who was grabbing something from the fridge. Tommy instantly noticing something was off, he knew his brother all too well.

But it couldn’t be what he thought.

He looked back at fourth at you and Joel with furrowed brows before Brian distracted all of you.

“Y/n if you want you can wait for me to drive you home, I’ll be done soon” your dad offered.

“No it’s ok dad, I’ll see you at the house. I better get going” you grabbed your purse heading for the door.

“Thank you” Joel called out to you making you stop in your tracks.

“Y-yeah…no problem” you smiled before opening the door and letting yourself out.

Tommy caught the way his brother was looking at you, he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. He knew the look his brother had after getting lucky with a woman. Once again Brian distracting him and Joel getting back into the topic of work.

You walked out into the fresh air in shock with what just happened. It felt like something out of a movie.

Now what?

So many thoughts ran through your head, but one thing was for sure, it couldn’t happen again. At least that’s what you tried to convince yourself.

#pedro pascal #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x y/n #joel miller x you #tlou fanfiction #joel miller #joel miller fan fic

[soldat-buck]

holy shit you guys, look, there's more.

bg3 culinary headcanons: Absolute Edition

- Minthara: would accidentally fit in as the Addams Family home chef (and be angry about it). Gomez would praise her assassination attempts which flusters her (internally) because she's cooking with the normal amount of poisonous mushroom and not an attempted murder amount (and also she would hate loud, in-your-face-chaotic Gomez SO MUCH. if she wanted him dead, he would be dead, do not insult her assassinating abilities). makes the coolest Halloween party food until you realize it's not fun, spooky-mimicry decoration, those are real black widows on those cupcakes (what? they're venom and merlot flavored) (she used cricket flour, too). you don't know where she gets the "red" for her red velvet cakes, but you *do* know that ignorance is bliss and this is a pretty bitchin' birthday cake, so don't think too hard and just eat it

- Dark Urge (pre-game/embrace): slaughterhouse nightmare aesthetic - chef's apron is leather and something more appropriate for blacksmithing, there are way too many cleavers around (why in the blue fuck is there a meat hook over a drain in the floor?). some people watch tv when they cook. some listen to music, podcasts, or nothing. Durge listens to the Toy Box killer kidnapping tape (not to be mixed up with the (not safe for LIFE) Tool Box killers torture tape. that one is for relaxing baths). watches Dahmer documentaries for culinary inspiration. Hannibal Lecter would find most Durge dishes tasteless and over the top.

- Ketheric: listen, he didn't want me to tell you this [so you did NOT hear it from me], but he actually doesn't eat. he has a symbiotic relationship with the bacteria and fungus that keep his body animated and undying (they're why his blood is black). he consumes rotten things to keep his corpse puppet fungus happy and the corpse puppet fungus allows him to keep his consciousness/sentience and keep serving Myrkul. Myrkul's cool with it, as long as his bidding continues to get done

- Orin: Martha Stewart would have a nervous breakdown upon entering Orin's kitchen. the average person would consider Orin's cooking to be a hate crime. if someone doesn't vomit uncontrollably upon first sight, she considers it an insult (she grew up with a gross misunderstanding of what a Roman vomitorium is). her spaghetti and meatballs is wrapping a handful of uncooked noodles in unseasoned ground meat (she neither knows nor cares whether it's fish or chicken or cow. meat is meat), then baking it in a casserole dish sprinkled with still-condensed tomato soup from a can. Midwestern casserole cooking brought to you by Hell. doesn't use salt because she finds it too spicy. she has an entire pantry section for savory jello

- Gortash: culinary techbro. kitchen is spilling over with unitasker gadgets ("and THIS contraption evenly distributes heat for the perfect boiled egg! what do you mean 'what else does it do'. it boils eggs perfectly i already told you, why the fuck weren't you listening"), and the most stupid, overengineered 'smart' devices ("no no no, you don't understand, this is so helpful. the fork connects to the plate to measure the temperature of the food, and then the plate changes color to warn me if it's too hot, and then i don't burn my tongue, because i really hate that"). despite all of the pricey kitchen shit that he keeps buying, he's skilled at making exactly one dish: microwaved Totino's pizza rolls

(i'm sorry if Gortash is out of character; my brain replaced his voice with John Oliver's and won't put the original back)

if you want more bg3 culinary headcanons, there's also: the Companion Edition

#soldat buck wrote something #bg3 minthara #minthara #minthara baenre #bg3 ketheric #ketheric thorm #bg3 dark urge #bg3 durge #durge #dark urge #bg3 orin #orin the red #enver gortash #bg3 gortash #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate 3 #culinary headcanons #bg3 culinary headcanons #bg3 hcs #bg3 headcanons #the dead three

[bookshelf-dust]

Hii love!! I absolutely LOVE your works and was wondering if you could write a fic where Billy finds the readers s/h scars and asks about it? The reader kinda opens about why they did and Billy is super confused about why you would purposely hurt yourself, but he swears to himself he’d never let you do that again?? If not, that’s perfectly fine, i know this topic is pretty sensitive to people🤍🤍

billy hargrove x fem!reader

word count: 2,513

warnings: SH trigger warning!! please heed that. mentions of self harm (specifically cutting), scars described, areas on skin. all scars are healed and reader has recovered. please do not read this if this will make you uncomfortable. this is meant to be comforting and let you know that things do get better. it is about acceptance and change.

a/n: anon!! thank you for this idea. i just want to put it out there that i’m not taking requests for the foreseeable future, and haven’t been for quite awhile, but i got sent this and i felt really compelled to write it because it’s something that’s important to me. i felt like i could do it justice, at least a little bit, and i really hope that it will provide you with some comfort. this is something close to my heart, and my goal here is that it will reach someone the right way and encourage them to keep going. i love you all so much!! please go easy on me as i’ve never written anything like this before. also did a bit of a different format! anyway, mwah! 🥰

————

Billy knows you’re shy. Of course he does. 

But he wants you to feel as comfortable with him as he does with you. He’s never felt as relaxed and safe as he does when he’s around you. Hell, he’s never allowed himself to let his guard down in this way. 

Inviting you to sleep over was his olive branch, hoping you’d have a space where you could be fully you. He has the house to himself, and he knows that will help ease your anxiety. All Billy wants is to give you all that you’ve given him. And maybe more.

Billy had just stripped, pulling on sweats and an old t-shirt, not caring whether you saw him in his underwear. He’s yours anyway. Sure, you haven’t gone very far in your relationship, but he still wants you to see how comfortable you’ve made him. He’s never done this casual intimacy thing before. 

“I’ll be just a second, okay?” You give him a gentle smile, feet softly padding against the worn hardwoods, sleeve brushing the door frame as you walk by. 

Billy watches you walk out of his room with your pajamas tucked under your elbow. “Okay, baby.” 

He busies himself while you’re gone, straightening the bed, finding the tv remote. (He’d never be allowed to roll it into his room if he weren’t home alone.) He figures you’re taking your makeup off too, maybe doing something with your hair, and heads to the kitchen to make some popcorn for you both to share. 

In the bathroom, you take a deep breath as you pull on your nightgown. You don’t pride yourself in having nice or fancy things to sleep in, but you felt like bringing this with you because it’s one of the few things you own that makes you feel pretty. Something about a freshly washed face and the soft fabric make you all…content. 

You stare at yourself in the mirror. The gown is not tight by any means, and actually a color that brings out your eyes. It has little bows on the sleeves and a tiny strip of lace at the hem. You don’t tend to dress for anyone but yourself, but you do think Billy will like this. Some part of you craves that feeling. 

He’s never even seen your legs before, much less your collarbones. And not because you’re trying to be modest, but because it’s been cold and any other opportunity hasn’t presented itself. Showing someone so much of yourself is harder than you anticipated. And you anticipated quite a bit of work. 

You inhale and exhale deeply, shaking out your arms. You can’t help but be nervous. You’ve never slept over with a boy before. But it’s Billy. Your Billy. What is there to be worried about?

Billy returns to his bedroom shortly after you’ve sat down and queued up the movie for you both to watch. You take the popcorn he offers you, the socks that are much too big, and snuggle into the worn pillows propped up against his headboard. 

You’re sitting too far away for Billy’s liking, munching on your snack and trying to focus on the beginning of Nightmare on Elm Street as if you haven’t seen it over ten times. His eyes can’t stop dragging over your bare legs. This is the first time he’s seen them, and he wants you and all that skin closer.

“Baby,” he drawls.

You can feel his big blue eyes on you, but for once you really are paying attention. “Yeah?” you hum, licking butter from the tip of your thumb.

You don’t even look over at him, and Billy lets out a huff of a laugh. The noise prompts you to spare a glance in his direction, but he’s already got an arm wrapped around your thigh, yanking you across the sheets until you’re pressed against his side. 

He tries not to convey how excited he is that he can feel the warmth of your skin on his, how soft your inner thigh feels. He frees you though, laughing at the “Oomph” you let out before settling yourself more comfortably. 

You swing your leg over both of Billy’s, handing him your popcorn remains and resting your head on his shoulder. He happily sticks his hand in your little bowl, eating what you’d left behind. 

As the movie progresses and Billy finishes all the popcorn, you shift further and further into him. It makes Billy so happy to see you act so comfortable around him. This is everything he was hoping for. He sets your empty bowls on his side table and wipes his hands clean with the wet rag he’d brought with him.

You’re engrossed in the movie, laughing every now and then at something you shouldn’t find funny, or clutching at Billy’s fingers when you get stressed out during a tense moment.

God, he’s so happy to be with you. If he could make this night last forever, he would. Billy kisses the top of your head and wraps an arm around your back, his hand coming to rest on the top of your thigh. You don’t think much of the gesture, only feeling a shiver run down your spine at the contact. At his warm hand on your skin.

Your skin.

Your nightgown has ridden up a bit, and suddenly you register exactly where Billy’s hand is. You take a deep breath, hoping he won’t rub your thigh and feel what you’ve avoided showing him for so long. 

You try not to worry, try to keep your focus on the movie, but you can’t. Your bubble has popped. You want to adjust your nightgown, but you’re afraid to draw more attention to the area, afraid to offend him and make him think you don’t want his touch. 

Billy’s thumb starts to stroke back and forth on your skin. You can feel the exact moment he registers that it doesn’t feel the way it should. The way your arms do, the way the soft backs of your hands do when he takes them in his. 

You feel him sit up slightly, crane his head to look at you. At your thigh.

Upon touching your leg, Billy had expected smooth skin. But he met ridges. Bumps. Lines of raised skin. He knew that wasn’t normal, and it sent a surge of curiosity or maybe even concern through him. 

What he sees confuses him. What happened to your leg? 

“Baby? What’s that?”

He’s sitting up fully now, prompting you to do the same before you fall against the bed. 

The longer he looks at it, the more confused he gets. There are scars on your leg. They’re not big, but there are a lot of them. So many that it’s scaring him. Some thin, some thicker. Different shades of scar tissue and scratched skin that never returned to its original state. 

They aren’t fresh, no, not at all. They are all healed. But he’s so confused because he’s gotten lots of cuts and bruises throughout his life, and they’ve never looked like yours do. They don’t look like a normal injury does. These look…deliberate. And he doesn’t understand.

You turn around and sit on your knees. I guess it’s now or never, you think. If you don’t tell yourself that, you’ll probably throw up. And if you hadn’t moved so far past this, you’d feel even worse. 

“They’re scars,” you say, rubbing your elbow. 

Billy flicks your knee, mainly because he doesn’t know how to react, his other hand rubbing down his face. “No shit.”

Your heart is pounding despite the fact that this is something you have long overcome and are not ashamed of. Even still, there is a part of you that hopes he won’t be disgusted with you. It’s the same part that hasn’t let the relationship go as far as you’d like it to. 

“I put them there.”

Billy blinks. Even if some part of him knew that’s where this was headed, he still can’t wrap his head around that. “What?” 

His eyes dart to your leg again, wondering if the scars are more extensive than what he can see. He’s scared of how badly you’ve hurt yourself. If he’s not careful, his eyes will glaze over. 

“A few years ago. You know how I’ve mentioned my depression and anxiety? And how I have medicine? How it was hard for me to go on dates with you at first or how sometimes I get standoffish?” 

He nods, encouraging you to continue.

“Well, you’ve been really good at reassuring me and understanding my panic attacks and stuff, and I’ve gotten a lot better at managing these things. But before all of that, before how I am now, I had no one. I was all alone, and I couldn’t deal with my feelings. So I took it out on myself. I started cutting myself as a way to cope.” You hate to admit all of this, but he deserves to know.

You start fidgeting with your fingertips and break eye contact with him. Billy’s lips have formed a stern pout, his brows knitting together in a way that shows he’s trying to understand you. To him, he really is just trying to comprehend this. But to you, that’s the look of shame you’ve been awaiting. You don’t want to be looked at that way.

You sit on your hands and stare at a string that’s come loose from your worn-in comforter. 

“Anyway, I didn’t have anyone to help me. I couldn’t talk about how sad and lonely and angry I was, and I certainly wasn’t ready for a doctor. I kept it all in, figuring it was safer that way. But that got to me, and I chose to take it out on myself. There.” You touch your thigh. “Here and here.” Your fingers brush your stomach and hip. “Here too.” Your forearm. I know it’s horrible, but that’s what I chose to do. And I wouldn’t ever want someone else to choose that.” 

“I didn’t want to die, I just wanted the hurt to stop. I needed an outlet for all of those suffocating feelings, and that was what I did. Hurting myself helped me feel better because at least I was expressing something. And I was able to punish myself for being so unlike everyone else. So quiet, so hard to love, so different.”

Your heart is pounding but you steal a quick glance at Billy. He can’t fight the emotion from showing on his face anymore. He feels his eyelashes getting thick with tears that are threatening to spill at any moment. 

“I know this is probably hard to understand. I know you might be disgusted with me. But I guess it’s better that you know, right? I should’ve been more open about it with you sooner to avoid it being so…complicated.”

You stop, not really knowing what else there is to say. You’re hoping that this will encourage him to say something. Anything. You’d be happy to answer a question at this point.

Billy brings the hem of his shirt up to wipe his eyes. You wince, feeling awful for making him emotional over this. 

He takes a moment to try and wrap his head around what he’s just heard. He’s had a habit of self-medicating with alcohol, with cigarettes, hell, even ego lifting shit he shouldn’t at the gym. But everyone copes differently, right? You wouldn’t do what he does. He wouldn’t do what his dad does.

He just can’t bear the thought of thinking that someone would physically do that to themselves. That you, his perfect girl, would be feeling so low that you’d make yourself bleed just in search of relief from the pain. He can’t understand it, but at the same time, he sees that it comes in different forms. 

Billy reaches out for your hands, waiting for you to take them. The pressure behind your eyes immediately softens at the gesture.

“Don’t apologize to me, okay? I’m just trying to process.” He lifts your hand to his mouth and kisses your warm skin.

“Okay.”

He kisses each of your knuckles in turn, maintaining eye contact all the while. He straightens, not letting go of your fingers. “I don’t like to think about you being in any sort of pain. Imagining you doing that to yourself…fuckin’ breaks my heart.” 

You tilt your head, scanning his face. He’s hurting for you, and you want to take it away. “It’s okay, Billy. I’m so much better now.”

“But I wish that I’d known you when you were hurting so damn bad. Y-you were alone, and I’m angry that no one was there to pull you out. I would’ve helped you.”

You squeeze his hands. “Billy, baby. I wouldn’t have let you help me.”

“Why?” he asks, his voice cracking. 

“Because I didn’t want to get better. I was comfortable in an endless cycle of hurt, and I had to be the one to finally change something.”

Billy leans forward until his forehead is resting against your chest. “I’m so sorry that you had to deal with that, and I know you sure as hell don’t want my pity, but I just can’t have you ever be in pain.”

You weave your fingers into the hair at the base of his neck. “I know, Billy. I’m okay, I promise? I’ve worked really hard to be okay.”

He straightens, cupping your face. “God, I know you have. I’m never gonna let you hurt like that again, you hear me?”

“I hear you, Billy. That’s not a place I ever want to return to.”

He leans in and kisses you with so much passion, using his lips to say more than he could ever form into words, that it leaves you feeling dazed. Loved.

“I’m so proud of you,” Billy says. 

You smile at him, and if he weren’t already sitting, he’d need to because of how weak you make him. 

“Thank you for respecting me and not treating me differently. You have no idea how much that means.”

Billy’s hands slide down to rest on your collar bones. “Why on earth would I treat you differently? Have people before? If anything it shows me how much of a fucking star you are, because you got through that all on your own. You got through it and now I have the pleasure of being yours.” 

You feel like someone’s poured warm water down your back. “People are usually awful about it, yeah. But that doesn’t matter. I’m grateful that you’re so accepting. And I want to be more open with you.”

“You don’t ever have to worry about that, baby. I’m working on my patience, so I’m happy to wait and learn every inch of you. Inside and out.” He winks at you, hoping to coax out a smile. It works.

“I’m so glad I got to this point,” you admit to him. You never say that out loud. 

“Fuck, so am I.” He kisses your forehead. “My best girl.”

#tw: self harm #tw: scars #trigger warning: self harm #savannah’s fics #billy hargrove #billy hargrove x fem!reader #billy hargrove x you #billy hargove imagine #billy hargrove x female reader #billy hargrove x y/n #billy hargrove comfort #billy hargrove fanfic #billy hargrove fanfiction

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for telling my brother his wife is using him?

This may be long but I want to make sure there is enough info for you to give an accurate judgment. TLDR at the end but I encourage reading the full post

I (25f) have an older brother, J (28m). I also have a younger brother (22m), L. J and I were always close when we were younger then grew apart as we got older, the boys always were close. The year J graduated high school we became close again.

J met his gf A (29-31f, I dont even know how old she is but she's older then J) during college. I remember the first time A came home with him, and she was very sweet but very nervous. We clicked and had a good conversation that lasted hours (we all were at our parents house and us girls had to share a room and the boys did too). Anytime there were holidays we stayed at our parents and did this (big holidays that colleges had off like Christmas and Thanksgiving)

We met up a couple of times and all was fine. It was hard as they lived far away from where we grew up (2-4 hours depending on traffic and routes). Then I moved to the country, about 20 minutes away from them. We met up more often, but only maybe about once every 3 months. No big deal, I was busy working. Then J and A got engaged and it felt like everything changed.

I would invite them to hang out or get dinner, but J and A would make excuses. J would be like "A can't come so we won't make it" even when I said "okay but what if only you came? You're my brother?" He would make excuses. The days they agreed to meet up, suddenly day of couldn't go. He was tired after work, she wasn't feeling good, the car wasn't working. Anything and everything you could think of. I did notice whenever L came to visit me and stay, J and A would always be available to meet up, even if it was last minute.

So I figured...it somehow must be me? And then they got married. And it was beautiful.

Or so im told as it was a private ceremony and I wasn't invited :) I actually was originally told the date, which I asked off of work for, but then I got a text a week prior saying "guess what happened tonight" and then was told they got married. L was there. Our parents and myself were not. A did tell me she didn't feel right inviting our parents if her parents weren't there...but why not me? I was told it was a private ceremony and only L was there as a witness, but one of their friend's posted pictures and it had over 5 different people in them

I tried to let it go but honestly it hurt me and pissed me off and everything kept adding onto it. I have zero clue what the hell i did. I have texted J and asked him point blank if he is mad at me, he would deny. I asked for A's number cause he mentioned she was lonely and had lost friends, I said we could go get our nails done since that's something she likes (I dont but I figured I'd extend an olive branch) he refused to give it to me. It seems its me but again I have zero clue why.

It worsened after me and J got into an argument. They canceled again, and I do know A was having a bought of depression at this time. I understood, as someone diagnosed with depression and anxiety. But J told me I never would understand (A was still going out to places and hanging out with friends, meanwhile there were days I couldn't get out of bed and called into work sick. I know we shouldn't compare mental illness but it seemed like an excuse to me. A also would do things that she has said makes her mental health worse, like reading and watching things that triggers her). The whole reason I wanted to hang out is because I had Christmas gifts from our parents and a few of our childhood friends for them (L was out of the country at this time and had mailed a gift to them). They kept bailing and I tried for TWO MONTHS, I finally delivered the items the week after Valentines.

One of our friends was a baker and TOLD THEM she baked them a cake, special for them because A has dietary restrictions due to a chronic disease. They knew this and it spoiled. So I was upset for my friend, and I lied and said they got it to save her the hurt.

But when J finally told me to drop off the items I blew up at him. We stood outside his house and yelled at each other. He flat out told me to stop being so emotional and that I was letting hormones get in the way of thinking, and that I should understand A being depressed. I did! I yelled at him he should get his head out of his ass and that he is letting down not just me but our friends, especially the baker who has a waitlist and made stuff SPECIAL for them. He didn't thank me for my gift, but texted each individual person for theirs.

That was in 2022. A month after I apologized and he said he forgave me. But nothing has changed. Since then they didn't wish me happy birthday (they called L on his, he is now living with me temporarily, but when I pointed out I didn't get a happy birthday from anyone *literally only one friend wished me a happy birthday and L, even my own parents forgot* A told me I needed to get over myself and that birthdays weren't that important to them so I shouldn't take any offense. I didnt expect them to wish me a happy birthday this year because of that, but my true friends and my parents did remember this year),. They didn't come to my college graduation. I stopped texting J and I hadn't heard a response since. We did see each other this past Christmas coincidentally, not planned as they didn't come to our parents. J was pleasant, A said nothing but watched me the whole time, and I made excuses to leave this Christmas party as I didnt even know they knew the person throwing the party.

I came home early from work this past week and J was visiting L (something J claims he can't do during weekdays cause he works 9-5 during the week...allegedly). J gave me a hug and we all chatted for about an hour, it felt like old times, but then his wife called. It was a smooth conversation then I got brought up, and suddenly A needed J back home immediately. He bailed on dinner plans he and L had (L had spent all day cooking a roast, it was delicious btw and yes L was upset J didn't stay).

I had enough. I called J during his "work hours" on his cell. J answered and I chewed him out. I said our brother was hurt and whatever the issue with me is HAS to stop. If he doesn't tell me whats wrong, I CANT fix it. J told me there was nothing wrong with me and I was reading too into it. I pointed out some of the same instances I listed and he told me I was reading into it. He then accidentally let slip that A didn't want us talking. Which I figured. I blew up and told him A was using him. A was turning him against me and our parents *i am too lazy to go back but he stopped talking to our parents the same time he stopped talking to me but he always talked to L*. I mentioned how she is an adult and if she has an issue with me she needs to tell me, but instead she's a fucking coward. J yelled at me that she has anxiety and I yelled back "bitch I do too! I'm on fucking meds for it" which i know she isnt. J hung up on me.

Not only is everything above an issue, A also: doesn't have a job and only J has the income. Claims its because of her illness, the one that causes dietary restrictions, yet EATS said things even though she knows makes her sick. She won't let J meet up with our childhood friends. A also has stsrted getting J to take edibles with her. If J is tested, it will get him fired from his job. But then she complains he's being a loser if he doesn't do edibles with her.

The kicker is this: A solely used to date women. J is NOT a woman, nor does he want to identify as one. J knows A used to date women, and again tells me I should be more considerate seeing as how I am openly bisexual. However, and I havent told J this, one of the conversations I did have with A after they got married, she told me TO MY FACE "yeah, I never imagined marrying a guy yet here I am." Laughed and I kind of was like oh haha, isnt it crazy how things work out, to which she said "I dont even like men!" Slapped my thigh laughing and continued laughing. I was bewildered and when J had returned and asked what we were talking about we both changed the subject.

I did tell L when that happened and he thought it was weird but we couldn't change anything as they were married. I dont know if I should tell J.

But really I do feel as though A is using J, but now im wondering if I should lay it out more clearly WHY. Or if I should stay out of it. They already seem to hate me, so part of me is like why not go for it. But L is talking me off that bridge (my therapist is also testing me for something that isnt solely anxiety and depression) . I know J is hurt as he told L such, and part of me feels bad I yelled, but also the rest of me wants to key his fucking car and tell him to shove it up his ass and ban him from seeing L at my house as it is MY house even though L is living there

AITA?

TLDR: I yelled at my brother his wife is using him as she doesn't have a job, always falls back on her mental and physical illness yet does things to make them worse, and has also told me she doesn't like men (she used to exclusively date women prior to my brother).

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[buckleyx]

Eddie Diaz x Male reader

Or

Oliver Stark x Male Reader

MEET THE BOYFRIEND E.D

the gif i used is not mine! all credit goes to the owner!

Author’s note: Hiya love! I hope you like it :))

Summary: Eddie feels nervous as he is about to introduce his new and first boyfriend to the team, luckily you're there to help him.

Eddie Diaz x Male!reader - (No specific pronounces used)

Warnings: nervous Eddie, anxiety and fluff!

masterlist

"Are you ready?" You asked softly. A smile tugged your lips as you saw your nervous boyfriend fiddle with his hands. His nose crinkeld as he nervously wandered around you. The hem of his shirt was crooked but he didn't mind. His hair was combed neatly in place and a small flush creeped up his cheeks.

He was nervous and it was killing him. You didn't blame him, first introductions were always exciting. Eddie had arranged a small get to together with his friends and it was the first time he brought you with him. You were the last to arrive, everyone was already chatting away inside but something stopped Eddie from going in.

You tried your best to figure out what was stopping him from going inside, maybe you could help him or calm him down. "They know I'm coming with you right?" You asked, suddenly feeling unsure about your part in the matter.

"Yeah ofcourse." Eddie replied honest, walking back over to you. "They know I'm bringing someone." He paused, suddenly feeling uncertain about what he was gonna say next. His brows knitted together. He wanted to place his hand on your chest but pulled it back before it could touch you. You looked at him with confusion, feeling yourself getting nervous, eagerly waiting for words to leave his lips.

"They just aren't expecting a boyfriend." He admitted. Eddie rubbed his forehead, a way for him to process the nerve wracking anxiety he was going through. You looked at him, a little shocked from his last minute confusion. "Oh." You muttered out.

Eddie swallowed tickly, feeling unsure about your responds. "It's not that they're gonna be surprised. I mean, I'm hundred percent sure they know. I-I just never confirmed it." He ranted, his hands making small gestures as he tried his best to explain the situation. "It's just me being scared I think. It's a first you know. I mean, I never done this before. I'm still figuring everything out."

You were Eddie's first boyfriend. He never dated a man before but he always knew there was more. He just now figured it out, especially after meeting you. The minute he layed eyes on you he knew that there was much more blooming then just friendship. Sometimes when talking to you he even was afraid that his heart would jump out of his chest. You started going out and made things official, bringing you to this moment; meeting each other friends and family. Eddie had already met your friends, you even had the chance to meet Christopher, who gladly welcomed you with open arms. So you weren't really nervous yourself about meeting Eddie's team. Hearing from his stories you knew you would make a positive impression.

But for Eddie, it was indeed a scary situation. He assumed everyone would already know that he was bringing a boyfriend with him, he never felt the need to come out. He knows the team would be 100% supportive, hell he wouldn't doubt it for a minute, but for him it was still a scary step. It was a first. It had nothing to do with you. Just with himself. His entire life he had fought for the approval of others. His father, his mother, his family, his friends. He just likes to be reassured that everything will be alright and that he's doing the right thing. He just sometimes needs a little push. It's a new world for the Diaz and you promised him to help him figure things out, help him find his way.

"Babe, you're going to be fine." You assured. "I know it's scary and I know you're afraid of their reaction but hearing from your stories, I think you're gonna be okay." You placed your hand on his shoulder, your thumb softly caressed his cheek. Eddie couldn't help the small flush from appearing on his cheeks as he leaned into your touch. You felt his body relaxe. He looked at you, a loving, but nervous, expression on his face. "They're your friends Eddie, I'm sure this would go just fine." You said. "I'm here for you. We will go in together when you're ready, just take your time."

Eddie nodded his head, the corners of his mouth turning upward in smile. He looked at you, grateful for your reassurance. The little push in the back that he needed. The confirmation that he was going to be okay, no matter what. Eddie leaned foreword, giving your lips a short kiss. His hand leaned on your side. His nose bummed against yours as you leaned in for a longer kiss. He smiled at the action, his hand trailing up to cup your cheek.

"Are you ready?" You asked as you both catched your breaths, your foreheads leaning against each other, not ready to let go yet.

He smiled, grabbing your hand and interlocking his fingers with yours. "I'm ready."

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[espresso-lessdepresso]

r9

fluff

t/w: none

a/n: haha...im like 5 months late but I'm here^^ [covered in blood and sweat, beaten and bruised, eyes red and burning from the seething smoke from the 7th ring of hell]

The evening had darkened by the time the two of you met. Your busy lives had kept you apart most of the day. The February winds were still cold as you walked alongside your tall lover. His jacket had already been placed around your shoulders before the chilly weather could bite.

“I didn’t take you for being all sweet and romantic like this.” You said. In one hand was a tall bouquet of red flowers and in the other would have been Schlatt’s hand if he hadn’t covered your eyes. 

“You’re ruining it.” He spoke as he tried to guide you, making sure you didn’t trip on anything. 

“I’m just saying-” You tried to argue.

He huffed, “'saying' ruins it.” 

“...This is just very unexpected,” The feeling of your hand reaching up and closing over his made Schlatt’s face warm, distracting him from his task of leading you. “and very lovely.”

The sky was painted with deep shades of purple and blue. The little clouds in the sky let the moon shine gracefully below and the stars twinkled. You did not know where you were nor did you know where Schlatt was taking you. Not being able to see made you focus on the sounds you were hearing and the earthy fragrance. The ambience of the city and the sound of traffic were entirely gone. Instead, it was replaced by the ruffle of trees swaying by the wind and the occasional low murmuring of people. You felt the ground beneath you sink a little as you stepped off what you assumed to be a stone path and onto the grass. 

“Okay...” Schlatt whispered, more to himself than to you. He was biting the inside of his cheek, a little nervous since this would be the first time doing something like ‘this’. He was even slightly embarrassed, but he wanted to do this. For you. You deserve nice things like this.

Standing behind you, Schlatt’s hands fell from your face and rested on your shoulders. The wind picked up your hair, twirling it around your face. Your eyes did not need to adjust to the light as the evening was already dark. When your eyes were drawn to the sight in front of you, you felt your heart truly swell.

Who cares if it was a bit cliché, you loved it. 

Fairy lights lit up the area, glowing around the large red and white chequered sheet. You didn’t know what to look at first. Two wine glasses stood on a wooden tray next to the bottle of wine. A charcuterie board was lined and filled with cured meats and various cheeses, olives, nuts, and small slices of bread which had little jars of jam beside it. When you look over at the pizza boxes, you can feel a smile curling your lips; is this possibly why he got all frustrated when you couldn’t choose what was your favourite food? Well, pizza is always a safe bet. 

Everything was so scenic. Too scenic even. Schlatt had picked a spot in the park which wasn’t too secluded from the main area, but a fair distance away for the both of you to have some privacy. Where behind you was the path back to the centre of the park, to the right was a garden of freshly bloomed flowers, their sweet and earthy scent lingering in the air. And ahead of you, the view if you will, was the park’s quiet and still lake. You’d never thought you’d be able to experience something like this- straight out of a movie or novel. 

Schlatt’s hands moved lower from your shoulders to your waist. You’re pulled back from the astonishment as he brings you into a hug. Still chewing on the inside of his cheek, he waits for you to say something. 

With your back against his chest, you look up. Your boyfriend. Your sweet boyfriend. Schlatt’s face is framed by his beautiful brown curls and eyes glittering from the fairy lights. He was illuminated by the dark purple sky behind him. Seeing your smile, he couldn’t help but mirror you. 

His brows lift up, still looking at you, asking without having to speak, Well?

It was only then you realised how long it had been since you were like this. Together. Very much wrapped up in each other with no space between you two to keep you apart. No office calls interrupting you and no busy schedules keeping you from seeing one another. “You put so much work into this Schlatt, I love it.” Your voice feels incredibly warm and sweet to his ears. Schlatt had a smile that stretched across his face, making his eyes crease into the shape of half-moons. “...I love you.” 

A beat passed. 

Schlatts face shifted to a surprised expression, his eyes wide and mouth open, as he let his head fall back. He chuckled, ”Finally!” You looked at him with confusion. “I thought...Ah, I thought I was the one who’d have to say the ‘three magical words’ first.” 

“YOU! HOW DARE-!” He cackled as you fake-fought with him, landing punches on his chest and arm that didn't really do much harm. He pretended to be in pain from the punches as he tumbled down onto the picnic blanket, pulling you down with him. 

Schlatt has his arms around you once again, just unable to ever let go of you it seemed. With one hand, he helped fix your ruffled hair, “I love you too doll.” 

Schlatt won’t say it, but he knows he did Valentine's Day right, just for you.

++++++

Engage and let me know if/how you like the writing. Reblogging/Sharing is much appreciated.

master list

#jschlatt #schlatt #jschlatt fanfic #jschlatt fanfiction #schlattfanfic #schlatt fanfiction #jschlatt fluff #schlatt fluff #jschlatt imagine #schlatt imagine #jschlatt x reader #schlatt x reader

[companionjones]

The Most Anxiety Inducing Experience of Your Life

Pairing: Pre-established!Beck Oliver x Fem!Anxious!Reader

Fandom: Victorious (Nickelodeon)

Summary: This is based off the episode “Tori the Zombie” where you take the place of Tori. Some things are changed. For example, you are in a relationship with Beck.

Warnings: Cursing

*******

    “Baby, relax. It’s just an audition.” Beck tried to calm your nerves as the two of you sat in a line outside the Black Box theater.

    His words did nothing to soothe you. “You’ve done a hundred of these, Beck. This is my first one, and I’m freaking out. Maybe I should just head home--” You moved to get to your feet.

    Beck put a hand on your shoulder, preventing you from standing up. “No way. Babe, you’re the most talented person at this school. I’m not going to let you go a whole semester without doing one play. Plus, you need it for your grade.”

    “This is not a play. This is a musical,” you corrected. “You have to sing and dance in musicals.”

    He shrugged. “I don’t usually do musicals either, yet here I am. I’m a little nervous too, but I’m working through it.”

    “You don’t need to be nervous. You have a wonderful singing voice, Beck. You should use it more often.”

    “My point exactly, except reversed back onto you.” Beck took one of your hands in both of his and kissed the back of it. “You can do this, sweetheart. I know you can.”

***

    When the cast list was posted about a week later, you nearly fell when you saw the results.

    “Yes, I got Clive!” Robbie fist-pumped as he congratulated himself.

    Rex then spoke up. “Yeah, you’re the villain in the play and you’re the villain in my life too.”

    Robbie and Rex continued their bickering, and you heard the somehow fainter voice of your boyfriend right next to you. “Oh my god, we got the leads, baby! I am so proud of you!” He gathered you in his arms and kissed the side of your head.

    “How the hell am I gonna do this?” You didn’t know if you had thought that inside your head or voiced it out loud.

***

   A month later, you were well into rehearsals. Your director had just called to “Take five” because there was a problem with the lights.

    “Whoa, guys. Everyone shut up a second.” Jade suddenly got the attention of the crowd. “I just got an email from Principal Eichner.” She read, “To all students involved in this years production of Uptown/Downtown, Sofia Michelle will be in Los Angeles the weekend of the 17th, and will be personally attending your opening performance.”

    Sofia Michelle was the woman who wrote your musical. She was one of the biggest playwrights on Broadway.

    “Why don’t we sit down?” Beck offered, lowering you to the lip of the stage.

    “I think I need a paper bag,” you told your boyfriend.

    “To breathe or throw up?”

    “Jury’s still out.”

    Beck had you lay on his shoulder as he tried his best to calm you down.

***

    About a month after that, you were hanging out in Beck’s trailer, trying not to think of opening night of the show, which was the following night. Well, at least one of you was trying not to think about it.

    “You know you’re gonna be great right?” Beck commented as the two of you laid in each other’s arms in his bed.

    You took a big breath, and tried to think about things rationally. “Yeah, I know,” you finally answered. You raised one of Beck’s hands to your lips and kissed it. “As long as you’re there with me.”

    Just then, your phone started ringing. You and Beck sat up in bed as you answered it.

    “Hey, Cat--” was all you were able to get out.

    “Oh my god, oh my god! I need your help! I took this I took this class for special effects makeup and I can’t figure out how to make people look like scary monsters so I just keep on making them cute and the models keep quitting on me! Please, if you don’t help me, I’m gonna fail this class!”

    She was getting so loud that you had to hold your phone away from your ear, yet you and Beck could still hear Cat clearly.

    “What do you need me to do?” you asked her.

    “I NEED TO PRACTICE MONSTER MAKEUP ON YOU PLEASE!” Cat’s voice sounded even louder through the speaker on your phone.

    You and Beck shared a look. Not seeing another option, and not wanting Cat to get any louder, you both nodded.

    “Come over my place, Cat,” Beck offered.

    “Thank you! Thank you so much!” Cat’s voice went back to regular volume before she hung up the phone.

***

    “Hey guys! I got some pizza if you--JESUS!”

    A couple hours later, Beck had stepped out to get some food. When he returned, he almost dropped the pizza he was holding.

    You had been standing right by the door (maybe, probably, definitely) trying to scare your boyfriend, and succeeding. “What do you think?” you asked him, “Don’t I look hideous?”

    Recovering from the scare you had just given him, Beck responded in a sweet boyfriend way, “You’re still beautiful to me.”

    “Oh no! Really?!” Cat started to revel in failure again.

    Beck tried to backtrack, but he didn’t want to hurt your feelings. “N-no, Cat! Y/n looks...uh...I think I walked into a trap, here.”

    “I’ll get you out of it,” you joked to your boyfriend. “You did a great job, Cat. I look like a monster!”

    “Yay!” she celebrated.

    “Alright, you put this on, you took your pictures. Can you take this off now?”

    “KK!” Cat smiled before readying her makeup station again.

    Beck put down the pizza, then noticed something in Cat’s makeup stuff. “Cat, what is this?”

    Cat didn’t spare it a second glance. “Oh, that’s glue!”

    “I know that. Why is it with your makeup supplies?” His voice was becoming more and more concerned.

    You decided to take a closer look at the kind of glue he was holding. Your stomach dropped. “Is that Grizzly Glue?!”

    Beck was still asking Cat questions. “Where did you get this?”

    “I ran out of makeup glue so I got that from my father’s tool box.”

    You got mad. “Grizzly Glue is like industrial cement, Cat. It’s not supposed to come in contact with skin!”

    “I’m sorry!”

    You, Beck, and Cat spent the next hour trying to get the makeup off your face. When that didn’t work, you three spent the next hour after that on the phone with doctors and the Grizzly Glue company.

    Beck got off the phone with the doctor first. “Okay, she said it’s not going to cause any damage to your face, just that we won’t be able to get it off.”

    “I could’ve told you that,” you remarked sarcastically.

    Cat got off the phone too, but she wasn’t relaying any of the information to you and Beck.

    “Well?” you asked her.

    “Oh, right!” Cat turned to you. “Apparently, they make a solvent. We have to drive to Bakersfield to get it.”

    “Bakersfield?!” you and Beck yelled at the same time.

    “Relax,” Cat calmed, “Trina owes me a favor. I got her out of a date like a week ago. After school tomorrow, I’ll get her to drive me there to get the solvent, I’ll bring it back, and everything will be good again!”

    “Everything will be good again if you get that solvent on my face before the show starts tomorrow.”

    “Omg that’s right you guys start your run tomorrow! How are you feeling?” aimlessly wondered Cat.

***

    “DarlingAngelSugarLove,” Beck addressed you with every pet name he could think of in this time of desperation. “It’s going to be alright.”

    “In what world is it going to be alright?!” you whisper-yelled backstage, “We are going on in two minutes, and I look like a zombie! Cat and Trina still aren’t here!” Your breathing started to get all out of wack. You could’ve sworn that you were going to pass out.

    Suddenly, Beck kissed you.

    You melted into the kiss, and it lasted long enough for your breathing to get back under control.

    Beck broke the kiss. “I love you. You are the most amazing person I know. Now, you are going to go out there and rock this show no matter what you look like. Take a deep breath with me.”

    You did as you were told. “Thank you so much for dealing with all my crazy.”

    “We’re in show business,” he smiled, “Our lives are always going to be crazy.” He started walking away from you to get into places.

    “And Beck?”

    He turned back around.

    “I love you, too.”

    Your smiles matched each other as you stood on opposing sides of the stage.

***

    So, you went through the show looking like a zombie. Well, most of the show. During the last number, you glanced backstage and saw Cat and Trina with the solvent.

    André was in the band, and he was aware of your situation, as was everyone involved with the show, so you subtly signalled to him to stretch the song out. He nodded, and you all but ran offstage.

    You made it back in time for the last chorus of the number, and you were so hyped on the adrenaline of the show and just barely making it on on time, that you kissed Beck during the final pose.

    The curtain closed, and Beck picked you up and spun you around without breaking the kiss.

    You two had to split up again for bows, and from the shadows, you saw Beck mouth, “I’m so proud of you.”

    You were so happy that you kissed him again during your bows.

*******

Author’s Note: Thank you for reading! Fill up that heart and reblog if you liked it. I would also really appreciate a comment, if you have the time. If you would like to read more, check out my masterlist. Have a nice day, night, or whatever time it is for you! <3 <3 <3

#beck oliver #beck oliver x reader #victorious #victorious neckelodeon #avan jogia #companion jones #the most anxiety inducing experience of your life