#I love reading messed up relationships

[doevademe]

So here is an idea with a slightly dark Percico, during the time where Percy has amnesia, rather than deny knowing him, Nico in a moment of weakness says that they are dating that he missed him so much. Percy goes along with it, seeing no reason not to trust Nico and something about him being his boyfriend just feeling right. Eventually they reunite with Annebeth who is pissed at Nico for lying but can’t convince Percy that he is, making Nico into even more of an outcast, only for Percy to reveal that has already gotten his memories back long ago and now that Nico has lost most of his friends Percy has him all to him. Now they can be messed up possessive people together

Nico couldn't take it anymore.

The glares, the disappointment, everybody looked at him like he was a monster, and not even for the reasons they usually did.

If it was about being a son of Hades, Nico would at least feel outraged, like he didn't deserve what was happening to him, but this time it was different, this time he deserved the scorn of those around him.

"What's wrong, babe?" Percy asked, concerned. Nico bit his lip.

It had been a moment of weakness. Percy had just said he was important to his nonexistent past, and Nico had just said 'Well, as your boyfriend I sure hope so!' He had planned to dismiss it as a joke soon after, but Percy had just nodded like it made all the sense in the world and kissed him as an apology.

Nico hadn't been able to come clean after that.

"Percy, we need to talk," Nico said softly.

"Is Annabeth giving you trouble again?" he put his arm around him protectively. Nico saw a dark shadow fall over his eyes. "She really needs to stop that. Like I'd ever go for her when I have you."

Yes, things had only gotten worse once Annabeth had landed on New Rome. Nico had been sweating bullets. Surely seeing the actual love of his life would return Percy's memories. Then Percy would hate him for lying and taking advantage... again.

Yet what happened was even worse. Percy had rejected Annabeth, saying that he knew they were friends, but that he had rejected her to be with Nico. Percy weaved a story from the half-truths Nico told him and his own imagination, but the way he had talked made it sound as if Nico himself had been feeding him all those stories.

Annabeth had tried to claw his eyes out, and had only been stopped by Percy. The daughter of Athena had demanded him to break whatever spell he had put on Percy, but her boyfriend had refused to believe her.

"She has calmed down a lot," Nico lied. After Percy had remained 'loyal' to him, Annabeth had tried to prove their relationship with pictures and witnesses, and everyone had believed her, even his sister... everyone except for Percy. "It's about um... us."

Nico was now not only the untrustworthy son of Hades, he was also a homewrecker, an oportunist who had bewitched an amnesiac man into forgetting his girlfriend out of sefishness.

Everyone had turned their back on him, except for Percy, who kept kissing him and complimenting him like nothing was wrong.

"Did I do something wrong?" Percy's voice had a tint of worry as he looked around. "Was I too clingy? Or too clueless?"

Yes, Percy had been, but that was not the problem. If anything, Nico felt guilty over how much he enjoyed Percy's affections.

"No, it's not—"

"Is there someone else, then?" Percy's gaze turned possessive, even darker. At that moment, he was reminded of Poseidon being the god of storms and earthquakes. "Don't think I don't notice."

"N-notice what?" Nico couldn't help but stutter. When angry, Percy was almost a force of nature himself.

"Jason Grace and Leo Valdez, they look at you sometimes," Percy said dangerously. "Everyone should know that you are mine."

Nico blinked. No. There was no way that Percy was that oblivious.

"They look at me with nothing but disgust!" he finally exclaimed. "And they're right to do so!"

Percy's face softened as he turned to hug Nico properly, combing his fingers through his hair.

"Nico, there's nothing wrong with you... with us," he said. Nico wanted to scream in frustration. "If they can't accept us, we're better off without them."

"It's not about acceptance!" Nico sobbed. "Annabeth was telling the truth. You are her boyfriend, not mine!"

"Nico, you don't—"

"I lied Percy!" Nico screamed into his shirt. "That kiss you gave me on Camp Jupiter was our first. You've never seen me as anything but a friend or a traitor. I took advantage of you!"

He just wanted it to stop. To at least mend the relationship with his sister, even if everyone else, including Percy, hated him.

The son of Poseidon just hugged him tighter.

"Oh, Nico," he said, sounding disappointed. Nico braced himself. "I already knew."

Nico's eyes widened, he tried to pull away, but Percy just held on tighter.

"What?"

"My memories came back during my quest with Hazel and Frank," Percy explained. He caressed the top of his head. "I have known you lied since before Annabeth came back."

"But then why—?"

"Honestly, it was pretty hilarious to see her all mad," Percy laughed. "I almost cracked then and there, but I needed to keep at it, until everyone took her side, at least."

Nico shivered. It had all been Percy's ellaborate plan. To alienate Nico from everyone who could be on his side. To make him even more of an outcast. All to get back at Nico for lying about their relationship.

He didn't know the son of Poseidon could be that machiavellian.

"I guess I deserved it," Nico whispered. "I'm really sorry, Percy."

"Sorry for what?" Percy asked. He seemed honestly confused. "You know what I remembered when I got my memories back? How devoted you are, how many times you have saved me, how much you're willing to do for me. How utterly perfect you are."

Nico wasn't understanding. What was Percy getting at?

"You even lied to have me for yourself." Percy's voice was filled with amazement. Nico felt the hug tighten once again until it was almost painful. "But I also remembered all the people who could take you away, just as I realized how precious you were to me."

"Percy!" He struggled to get out, but Percy didn't let him.

"People like Connor Stoll and Will Solace, always looking at what's not theirs," he continued, almost snarling. "I knew if I wanted to keep you, I needed to make sure they wouldn't look at you twice."

Nico's heart was hammering in his chest. The worst part is, he wasn't sure if it was from fear or excitement.

"You did all this... so I'll stay?"

"I remember Nico, you have a knack for just leaving," there was a reproach in Percy's voice. "But that's in the past. Because now you know how much I love you."

Yeah, and now there was nowhere else that would take Nico in.

"It hurts, being hated by everyone," he admitted quietly. Percy's hug became slack.

"I know, and I'm sorry." Percy at least sounded sincere. "I know I made it worse but... I couldn't lose you."

And it was like something switched inside Nico's brain. Like everything made sense now. He had always been an outcast anyway.

But now he had Percy.

"You'd never lose me, Percy," he said, giving him a kiss. "Because I'm as yours as you are mine."

And Percy smiled like Nico had just told him the moon really was made of blue candy.

"I'm glad we both think the same way."

Nico nodded and kissed Percy again.

The whole world could hate him for all he cared. Percy was his, and it was more than worth it.

#I hope I did okay #I love reading messed up relationships #but I've never written them myself #ask #heroichalfblood #my writing #writing prompt #Percico

[letmeaskdanielaquestion]

TW: next picture has blood!

Fanart for @baconcolacan! Based on his ao3 fic Regimen! I've already openly discussed how much i love his fic! Go check it out if u have the time (though i highly suggest checking out the warnings and whats it about before jumping into it) This isnt usually my art style, but i tried to adjust to the semi-realistic way Neil makes them, and it was fun! :] (Had a bit of a stroke learning how to post here, hope im doing this right)

#regimen fanart #ew tom #ew Tord #Regimen #eddsworld regimen #Regimen AO3 #TomTord #TordTom #Love me some war military fics #tw blood #toms and tords relationship is so messed i cant stop reading #war sure fucks you up

[vvienne]

I literally woke up in the middle of the night like God will dark rise is so fucking screwed. The line that’s like. “Everyone wanted to kill the Dark King.” What’s the part where he looks at Violet helplessly, haunted, almost pleading for mercy? But of course he reveals nothing of substance to anyone. Elizabeth is too young to understand but the reader knows what “Her relationship with that boy was…unnatural” can mean. Tying him to bedposts? Failing to strangle him? What else? Never not even once seeing beyond a mythological identity Will himself didn’t know he had? What did he think was the reason? That he was just intrinsically hateful? Of course he says nothing. Of course Violet can’t trust him- he’s given her nothing as painfully real as what she’s given him. So he gives her the sword hoping at least he can die at the hands of someone he loved, but even that doesn’t work out - she gives the sword to a Visander still furious at SARCEAN. The pattern continues; no one looks at Will, who vomits when he realizes what’s happened to James, Will who is much of a liar and killer and sneak as Elizabeth accuses but nonetheless wants to be different. Even when he doesn’t remember his own past. There’s no way out for him that doesn’t hurt. Hope this obsession passes soon given the one and a half years of waiting required for book 3

#dark rise series #dark heir #rarely does a cliffhanger pain me so much #bc rarely am I ever THAT invested in a plot I am sad to say #nona the ninth was so cathartic in of itself I’m content marinating before alecto #BUT PACAT ONLY EVER GIVES EMOTIONAL CRUMBS #have any of these bitches ever known peace fr #maybe this is what reading princes gambit and not immediately having the follow up might’ve been like #honestly it’s possibly damen and Lauren just generally had less problems tho #more than his relationship even with James. will/Violet is perhaps the genuine source of like. I WISH HED GIVEN HER A REASON. #the narration that describes Violet as Will’s star in the night…….. like fuck fine #will can’t reach any level of genuine intimacy with James bc the mess of fraught noncon dynamics is this massive unspoken horrible thing #wills identity is personal w James in a way it is with no one else but James is so fucking oblivious of undercurrents it comes unbalanced #and will knows it. but (as far as we know) violet isn’t reborn has no history with sarcean the dark king she’s literallt just Some Guy #and that almost makes it worse???????? that they are so loyal to each other even as he’s keeping a massive secret? #they weren’t dated or destined to entangle the way will is w characters like James and Katherine #and I think that makes his rship with Violet possibly the realest and truest experience of trust and love will has ever had #like it’s nothing bro. truly she knows nothing about him other than his lies of omission and her faith in him goodness which may or may not #beiltimately justified. but that was probably as honest and close will ever got to anyone. and him to her.

[lunarharp]

LITERALLY stuff i’ve posted before <<< i just wanted to assemble some modern au scribbles in one place :)

BUT they’re in different brushbug universes tho. in the second one brushbug is a relatively unpopular character with merch & only this family truly cares about it

#witch hat tag #orufrey #it's. like a foster home art school. oru is an old friend who decided to live with them to help out. he does art comms from his room #i thought i wasn't a modern au person or an au person at all but ever since i decided hubert von vestra & ferdinand von aegir met on neopets #when they were 13 and hubert got ferdinand's account frozen by tricking him into swearing on the neoboards losing him his faerie eyrie #and now a facet of their relationship is him trying to make up for that slight and their first anniversary present is a faerie eyrie plushie #i have realised the power and pleasure of modern aus. #there is nothing stopping qifrey from having his realisation while looking at his exhausted friend in a hoodie carrying food #for the kids under his arm & thinking 'is this... am i.. ????' < has actually been in love since they met at age 7 on deviantart #literally tumblr is just good at assembling things for myself. my art documents are kinda.. a mess. i have a folder for each yearly quarter #i hope u read the description i dont want to make it seem like coco invented a character at age 12 that is now on cereal boxes #oru was like what the fuck is this character and why is the house full of it but now he buys merch too & has brushbug slippers

[grumpy-nyks]

The Fernweh Saga by @lacunafiction - Davor edition

I-I think Ms. Verner doesn't like him...😳

Davor "Dove" Kovač 🐝 RO: Becca Warrick

Personality: cautious // aloof // pessimistic // flirtatious (only towards Becca ...and Reese??) Traits: head // independent // resistance // believer Past affinity: math Primary ability: extrasensory awareness Past susceptibility: forward. 'it’s better to push forward. don’t look back on the past when you have new places to be and things to achieve.' <<< his motto

🕊️ Fernweh: Davor lived a happy life there and didn't think about leaving in the future. Maybe for some trips, but he knew it would always be his place, his safe place... 'It was a mistake to come back here.' - that was his first thought when he tried to fall asleep on the first night in Fernweh. The nightmares came back as he thought they would. He wants to leave as soon as possible because he feels that it is not safe for Becca to be here.

🕊️ Gramps Dan: That was his gramps who taught Davor how to play the guitar. As a young child, Davor always admired him and believed he was the most intelligent person in the world. After the death of his parents and how his grandfather treated him, he was devastated and angry. He wanted answers soo badly but didn't get any. He lived loathing his grandfather ever since. The news of his passing stirred up a lot of negative emotions that Davor had previously managed to suppress. At the beginning of the story he couldn't care less about his grandfather, but because of his journal he started to believe him. Things that his granfather lived through made Davor even more angry at this messy town …but he's willing to forgive his gramps…

🐝 Becca Warrick: It was a ...funny story that brought both of them together and they look after each other ever since. He considers Becca as his precious (not in a negative-possessive way) treasure, he literally can't let anything bad happen to her. That was also she who came up with the nickname 'Dove'... (and she's literally the only person who calls him that, others wouldn't dare...). He had feelings for her for quite some time but didn't act on it... until now. Although he didn't express it, he felt very nervous about Becca being in the town where he grew up. He was curious (but also scared) about what she could think of this town. He felt like he was revealing more of himself to her…. and he forgot about any worries pretty fast, because the town started being weird as fu--.

🕊️ Reese Verner: Back then Davor was quite cheerful and enjoyed competing with Reese regularly. They teased each other a lot. Davor always thought that Reese had a crush on him, was it true tho? donut know, but he certainly had. ...why does he appear in his nightmares? Maybe the crush stage never disappeared...? Seeing him again was a nice experience, sure... but ignoring the circumstances, he is still unsure if it was worth it and is struggling with his thoughts… Would it be worth it to return to Fernweh just to see him... again? welp, good thing he doesn't have to think about it much, am I right?

🕊️ Sofia Dorran: The two of them maybe did not have a strong relationship, but he knew Sofia is the ideal person for engaging in intelligent conversations. He enjoyed spending time with her, solving the puzzles that gramps created for them both. Davor wasn't a fan of fantasy books, but she managed to change his mind about them. Davor knows that Sofia did take good care of his grandfather, but he still doesn't quite know if he's grateful for that or wished she spent her time more... valuably... He was tempted to ask Sofia to borrow that book she found in his grandfather's bedroom, but he thought better of it. It's better to leave Fernweh… Even so, his curiosity wasn't properly fed.

🕊️ James Corvin: Maybe not brothers by blood, but definitely brothers by choice. Davor treated him as if he was the brother he always wanted to have. Back then Davor always placed a high value on his family… until now. At the time, Davor tended to be more impulsive and James was usually the one who kept him from getting into trouble (which often involved Reese). It was really hard, for both of them, to see each other after so long. Their first interaction was pretty awkward... I would even say that most of their interactions were . James noticed how Davor changed the question is: for the better or worse? I don't even know. Everyone can sense, that things around them are different now, and they aren't as close as before. Will it change?

🕊️ Alek Corvin: …To say that Alek wasn't a fan of Davor would be an understatement. Was it because James spent most of his time focusing only on Davor trying to get him out of trouble? Did Alek observe any possessiveness from Davor towards James? Or maybe simply because of the bond between those two, which was truly something that others would envy and desire? Davor never considered it, especially when he left Fernweh permanently. :)) As you can imagine, Alek doesn't seem very happy about Davor's return… But he took an interest in his new friend, Becca, which did not go unnoticed by Davor and he isn't really happy about it.

🕊️ The Waitress: Oh boy, it seems that Davor has taken up a new hobby, which is glaring harshly at the waitress. He finds her mistrustful and he smells trouble. Had they met when he was younger, there may have been a slim chance of them getting along.

🕊️ Waffles!: So um… Davor has a little issue with dogs and because of that his relationship with Waffles isn't as wonderful as I wish it would be... However, I believe that with time and help from Becca, they will eventually become friends.

#actually about his scar i have this whole headcanon... featuring some...umm.. doggos and Becca... 👀 especially how they met #(Davor was always team cats but after that incident even more xD) #also ouch that naming scene it hurt me so much! but i get it ;; aaaa! Davor why are you being so problematic Waffles is wonderful!!! #it was really interesting for me to messing with Davor in nightmares and showing him Reese!! the feelings the emotions aaaa #also yeeaah Davor thought several times if it would be a good idea to come back to Re-- *cough* Fernweh... and then Becca happened... #generally speaking Davor has a keen interest in Slavic mythologies and culture particularly those from western and southern regions of- #-Europe. I imagine that his father has roots in these regions and he took great pride in his heritage. Often taking about it to Davor #...and since Sofia's a smart girl she lent Davor a fantasy book written by Slavic author who took a great inspiration from Slavic myths👼😊 #yes it was enough to change Davor's mind about fantasy books XD he never really read one before he just assumed it's BORING! #and now I'm sure he will throw questions at Sofia about this book she found even more since he's staying at Fernweh... I can imagine how- #-they both are staying up late studying it and comparing their notes... it would remind Davor about the time they were kids- #-it seems that his Gramps gave them both the last puzzle to solve... will they succeed? #and ooohh that will be a hard time for James and Davor... that rejection at the end of book one wont help them im sure XD #about Davor's 'possesivenes' over James... Davor was needy that's true but he would never think about 'stealing' James from Alek or- #-'claiming' James belongs to him. I hope im not crossing a line here but in my headcanon Alek was TOTALLY jealous over their friendship #and Alek THOUGHT that Davor was receiving more attention from James 👀 #//which obv isn't true because James would never allow it. Alek is always a number one in James' heart// #in mine too I love A!!!! 💖 they're a BABY #but i must say that Davor didn't really think about Alek's feelings back then. he wasn't aware how Alek could feel- that's not an excuse #super curious about book two and how his relationships with every single one of them will develop!!! #fernweh saga #oc: davor kovac #no i totally did NOT change his surname..

[captain-noir]

been slowly making my thru the vc books and i can say now, with certainty that the show is in fact superior in almost every conceivable way. i think nostalgia was clouding my judgment but apart from iwtv and tvl and maaaybe qotd....these books are fucking ridiculous

#yaz reads #yaz has thoughts #interview with the vampire #not to be mean but as a body of work they have zero structural integrity #each book is a long meandering mess of the most outlandish plot and the most contrived workaround established canon to suit her whims #she hates women. like deeply. #there's a disconnect between the character she thinks shes writing versus what ends up on the page re david talbot #the interpersonal relationships bar a few like lestat and louis and lestat and gabrielle and nicky are laughable #coz they never stay consistent. its like she's afraid of anyone actually hating lestat #even armands hate is blunted coz he's in love with him #plot points and character arcs are dropped entirely between books for no discernable reason #look i maintain book 1 and 2 are modern masterpieces esp book 1 #and book 3 is a fun romp #but the rest are wow some have nuggets of brilliance but are swallowed up the sheer absurdity of her plots .and i can do the absurd #i love the absurd but she treats it with such solemnity that it gets me out of the story again and again #there's obvs a huge following for the series as a whole and kudos to you who stuck by her but what was she on #when the plot is weak i can focus on the intra character drama and the characters are stale i can focus on the plot #when both are done abmysally!? #rolins and co had a great task ahead of them and i think they elevated the material #so good on them #and note this isnt me bashing her for her dark themes and subject matters i can handle all that and then some #vc is quite tame insofar as being dark for a gothic series #its everything else

[eerna]

reading some reviews and I wanna kiss Tazmuir on the mouth for being the exact opposite of 90% of pop culture right now by making every one of her books completely unpredictable and non-formulaic to the point where a lot of people can’t even read more than one of them because the rest is so different

#i think this is the first time that the hater portion of the internet is completely understandable to me. i understand why they dont like #these books because they ARE a pretty wild shot in the dark and if it lands then great but realistically most people won't like them #''once gideon is no longer the main character the series falls apart because it was relying on her charm'' to YOU. i love gideon as much as #the next girl but to me these books are about a bunch of girls who have messed up relationships with one another that include love #and them doing gradually worse things for that love #gideon harrow and nona are all my beloved girls and i vnever felt disinterest in ANY of their povs sorry not sorry #tlt liveblog #so many disliking reviews of harrow are that it's incomprehensible and im like. yes that's why it's y fav of them. #the moment i started understanding that book will live in my brain FOREVER it was SUCH a good experience. and every time i read it #i understand even more!!! bro!!!!!!! it's SO GOOD but i understand why people might not have fun with it

[angeloverload]

I don't just want to be loved

I want to be owned

Proudly, loudly

And adored

Take me

Bite me

Hurt me

Just so I know I'm yours

I don't want you to

Lust over my body

I want you to

Live for my words

Keep me

Hold me

Love me

As your only equal in this world

Stay with me

Stand next to me

Overpower me

Because I hold all the power over you

It's a give and take relationship

That is only bad until it's good

No one can take you away from me

Because I would kill them before they could

We can love each other in our own way

It's us against the world

#can you tell im obsessed with hannigram? #its just that i envy their relationship. i know wtf is wrong with me. #but as an ace maybe aro person theres just something about what these two have that i crave #honestly and im going to regret saying this but i have the urge to be bitten by someone or even to bite them back #ive had this thought before but after reading this amazing hannigram fic ive realised that im so messed up lol #i want the inticimy not the sex #i dont just want to be loved i want to be the only thing that matters #after being seen as less worthy just because of my gender. i will not settle for anything other than equals #poetry #poem #hannibal #hannigram #will graham

[paradoxlemonade]

Ughhhh I need more media with absolutely fucked up relationships in canon but I'm having a hard time finding stuff that people agree is good and fanfic isn't cutting it anymore

Maybe I'm going about this wrong and instead of looking for stuff people say is good I should instead pick something wildly controversial to find quality.

#I'm this close to reading Killing Stalking. i need something visceral and depraved plus it's hounded by controversy which might make it good #followers: has anyone read killing stalking and is it any good? #also: i am taking recommendations for media with messed up relationships #and not like twilight-esque romancr where it's terrible but the narrative thinks it's dandy. acknowledge the horrors #idea speaks #idea original post #happy ending optional btw. i love a good tragedy

[twilightarcade]

Braceletz

#wordstag #took this picture in the bathroom. Ignore that. #also ignore how they're tied way too tight. Iris' was really messed up and idk what happened on evies I just didn't fix it #that green off grey is a warm color. For the purposes of this exercise #evies is a bit big iris' is a bit small. Nothing to really do about it. Iris' is also borderline falling apart #quite frankly I think I need to talk to someone who like. Isn't related to me. Unfortunately literally everyone is busy #euuuuuuuuuugh I'm reading a book #I picked it up because I needed a book #it's ok #I'm like... middle or so. #waiting for this Eddie guy to get accused of murdering Jacob because that seems to be like. This whole buildup #I've literally been waiting since the beginning of the book. They established it like right off the bat. #obviously we know he probably didn't but. Eh #there's some unrequited gay love I was NOT expecting whatsoever #literally why I picked up this book. I was told they were 4 friends so I expected 4 friends. #apparently 2 of the 4 are having sex in the background (Eddie and Jacob) #and every other chapter is abt their relationship in the past #which is. Fine. I'm fine w relationships n stuff just I didn't expect it yk #OH JESFYDY FUKC I JUST REREAD THE BLURB APPARENTULY IT WAS RIGJT THERE LMAO #I JUST??? SKIPPED OVER IT???? ITS RIGHT THERE THEYRE CLEARLY GOIGG TO BE A FOCUS #ESPECIALLY WITH HOW THEY INTRODICED THEM FIRSCY CHAPTER ???? HELLO??????????????? DID YOU READ THAT?????? #anyways I don't support that guy any more (me) pretend he never said anything.

[metagalacticx]

What is your favourite headcanon for Mason?

first of all thank you so much for asking 🥹🥹

i have so many but my head has been filled with only sad things regarding mason recently so here is one that makes me happy:

mason visits melissa and dr geyer at the hospital sometimes, and he brings them both dinner.

melissa is skeptical at first but dr geyer just smiles and claps mason on the shoulder, says thanks and that he’ll have it later. melissa accepts the container and is delighted that it’s not only edible but actually quite delicious.

"you don’t have to bring me dinner every week, you know," she says after the third wednesday night, the eighth night overall that mason’s dropped by with a container of food still warm from the stove.

"i know," he smiles, not making eye contact as they settle on the bench near the janitor’s closet. "just thought you could do with a healthy meal every once in a while."

melissa unwraps the fork and spoon mason always tucks into a napkin beside the rectangular, aluminum-wrapped tupperware container in the insulated lunch bag. when she tears away the foil and lifts the lid, steam rises from the serving of rice and chicken curry and steamed veggies. she side-eyes him, "at the hospital. where we definitely serve healthy meals."

"not according to nutrition facts dot org." then he adds belatedly at her raised brow, "i looked it up."

"well, whatever the reason… thank you. it’s nice to know that at least one of you boys won’t starve next year when you’re off to who-knows-where."

mason gives a timid shrug and tries to hide his widening smile. "corey can make sandwiches."

melissa brings a spoonful of rice to her mouth, tilts her head as if to say ‘fair’, before she swallows.

"liam…" mason squints over at one of the empty chairs on the other side of the lobby, bobs his head a few times . "liam has doordash. and ubereats."

melissa huffs a laugh around the food in her mouth.

mason finally meets her eyes and doesn’t hide his wide smile this time. he laughs with her. he thinks about scott and whether he’s managing to maintain a decent diet at UC Davis. their laughter peters out, and melissa looks like she might be wondering, too. or maybe she isn’t, and the oddly vulnerable look on her face is simply because here, in this moment, she’s happy to have someone sit with her while she eats. someone who doesn’t fill the silence with platitudes or demands for help. mason thinks he’s seen melissa at her most desperate— and he’s decided he likes her better when she’s not trying to remind scott he has to be brave. he likes her better when she’s not trying to get her son to internalise the oath she took at 23. mason loves hearing about how she decided to become a nurse, but he likes her so much more when she’s just here: smiling to herself while she scarfs down a meal that’s maybe too hot from the over-insulation, but that she never fails to praise. mason likes her so much better when she listens to him list all the recipes he wants to try, and looks him straight in the eyes when she says he should do it for a living. he even likes her when she threatens him never to drop by after 11pm, after that one night he stayed over at corey’s late and got to the hospital even later. mason never wants melissa to look that desperate again— and maybe he also doesn’t want her to remind scott to be brave. he doesn’t think it’s his place to say, because he still nods, "yes, mom," when his own mother reminds him he has to respect himself enough to try, even when he’s not sure what may come of his efforts, and that he has to respect his family enough to be good. to himself, to others. perspective is a hell of a thing. but he’s sure that one day she’ll realise that all she ever has to be is present. for her patients and her son. all scott ever has to be is present. for himself and his friends. neither of them has to take on the world. and neither of them should worry about what the world may think if their burdens are only feather-light. if their circles of control and their circles of concern are incongruent. mason maybe wants to believe that if melissa can let go of that load— to be a pillar, to pass her life in purity. then maybe mason can too.

#um so this turned into a thing sorry. #mason hewitt #melissa mccall #teen wolf #teen wolf headcanons #mason hewitt headcanon #um maybe i think about them a lot and maybe i also think their relationship evolved after 5b #maybe one of my absolute favourite headcanons is that mason doesn’t become a professional chef but he definitely cooks like it #asks #tumblr mobile kind of hates me so i’m rly scared to check how much if the writing got messed up under the cut #anyway anyway if you read tags thank you so much for asking it made me really happy and i loved expounding on these nice thoughts today <333

[estbela]

Me thinking about the fact that during the 19th and 20th centuries there were several proposals to unify romania and bulgaria, mostly made by bulgarians: alrighty, now how can I make this angsty

#Just talking recreationally #Hetalia #Bulgaria #Romania #Aph #Hws #Yeah im feeling brave today and maintagging my random thoughts XD #Ro/bul is like my main ship when im looking for angst and shit. The opportunities are endless #I like that they werent always allies yknow? #Ill be honest I also like unrequited/one-sided ro/bul(at first) with bul being in love. Like head over heels for Ro #While romania seemingly is not. #And like. In my hc romania has commitment issues and trust issues(i will elaborate on this one day haha) in general so like. #He might care about bulgaria somewhat(and might even love him?) but the proposals for an union kinda Scare him. #And even if they were allowed to unite. He has so many fears about that. Most of them boil down to: #“What if we are incompatible. What if we ruin our friendship. What if it ends badly.” #I mean. They last time they were sorta united was during the second(and maybe first?? Idk at the moment) bulgarian empire. #And they didnt always get along even then. Etc etc #Im tired atm so sorry if some of these dont make sense. My hcs and ideas are actually a bit more complex but I dont feel like really #Explaining them at the moment. Also if I messed up some history sorry. Also a lot of ideas for their relationship I didnt even mention haha #Do people even read the tags

[coffeebanana]

not to talk about grey's anatomy on main but the early seasons of that show are so precious to me

#kayla rambles #i know it's a mess of a show but like #i started watching this when i was a kid because my mom would watch #and if i just stayed quiet she wouldn't make me go to bed even though it was past my bedtime #i think she just wanted the company ahaha #but like. i grew up with this show #and i started to rewatch and realized i'm about the same age as the interns are in the first couple seasons now #and it just hits different #like wow meredith as a character makes so much sense to me akjsbfdkbjd (not that she didn't before but. i love her.) #and i do think like. in a weird way the way i view the world has been somewhat shaped by that show #like you wouldn't think it's a good influence because yadda yadda the characters are all just in questionable relationships and cheating #but like. it does such a good job of showing how just because you made a mistake doesn't make you a terrible person #idk i'm probably reading too much into it now akjbdfskbjd

[tallysescape]

Jason Todd is a guillotine and the Joker is Mary Antoinette

also I will die on the hill that Batman’s morals kinda suck. He wants himself up on this pedestal of doing no wrong per say, when if he did one wrong he would prevent hundreds of others. Instead he sits by in his proverbial throne above everyone else like an old man playing chess

…ah okay so. let's talk about why his morals are where they are. as we all know his parents were killed at gunpoint, he couldn’t do anything. this cements a deep, personal distaste towards guns/lethal force/killing. when he becomes batman, when he puts on the cowl and goes out to protect people from that helplessness, to save as many as he can from that pain, he does it without needless, irreparable violence. killing is not an option for him, not after that.

but that doesn’t mean he’s ignorant. that doesn’t mean he wants to be praised or idolized or placed on a pedestal, that doesn’t mean he does no wrong.

bruce has made a ton of mistakes! he’s messed up a lot! big time! he’s flawed and complicated and messy and KNOWS THAT! he knows it when he falls out with dick, he knows it when jason is murdered, he knows it when the Red Hood shows up. he knows with tim and damian too. he’s highly aware of his failures. ‘what ifs’ and ‘maybes’ are this mans mortal enemy.

bruce cares so deeply and he shows it as best he can. he’s a protector, his work humbles him, he’s his own worst critic. he doesn’t want to be placed on a pedestal and honestly i’m willing to bet he thinks the city would be better off without him! gotham’s villains see the batman as a challenge and that’s why they keep coming. sure yeah, killing the joker or any other criminal would prevent hundreds of crimes, it would save tons of innocent people from hurting, it’s an easy, full proof fix. but that’s not what the story is about.

to bruce, at the end of the day you’d have to live with the knowledge that you can never take it back a lethal strike, and that scares him. no killing is a limit he set for himself, a restraint to keep him from going too far, because if he starts he won’t be able to stop and he knows that.

he tries to instill that belief into his kids, because he knows that they can be better than he is, that they are better than he is, despite all the shit each of them have gone through. he doesn’t want them to loose that light y’know? that hope that they carried with them and brought into his life. because that’s what batman is, right? hope. hope for gotham, hope for people. hope for the future.

but of course, pushing his mortals onto them does a bit more harm than good. it’s what eventually drove dick and jason away. it’s what eventually led to a massive falling out and a heartbreaking murder a very dark time for gotham. because when jason died, that breaks bruce. he is furious and violent and hurt and he takes all of that pain and throws it mercilessly into batman. this is probably the closest he’s ever been to the brink and there’s no one to pull him back, which is when tim drake shows up with his camera and his photos and his wit and his stubborn attitude and his hope.

when jason did come back to life, he wanted vengeance, he wanted to kill the joker, he wanted to get rid of criminals permanently, to make sure no one would be hurt like him ever again. he wanted to kill the joker and bruce wouldn’t let him. he doesn’t agree with jason’s methods, but that doesn’t mean he cares any less. that doesn’t mean he wouldn’t burn down the world for his kids. all members of the batfam want to protect their city and they’re doing it as best they can. each of them have their own method, each of them are their own hero, and yes it clashes with bruce but it doesn’t change the fact that in the end, it boils down to the genuine need to help people, to make life better.

now, about the last bit, just. when has bruce ever been able to sit by and watch? all these kids running around with makeshift capes and iron wills, when has he sat back and just watched it happen? if all bruce did was observe from above, then we wouldn’t have batman. no, bruce sees the violence and stands and does something about it, tries to break the cycle.

he sees dick, angry and hurt and grieving, with a burning need for justice and the drive to go out and find it himself, and sees himself in this ten year old kid. so he does something about it, because it’s too late for him but maybe he can make it better for the kid. he takes dick in and teaches him, watches him make a name for himself. Robin and then Nightwing.

he sees jason, who is literally is trying to steal the batmobils tires. who’s standoffish and weary and seen the worst that gotham has to offer but is still kind. and batman picks him up by the scruff and takes him home and absorbs him into the family, teaching him to be robin and mourning when he’s gone.

he sees tim—or better, tim is the one sees him—with his unshakable faith and terrible self esteem and hopeful, calculating eyes.

he sees stephanie and cass and duke and damian, he sees them all and he teaches each them everything he knows, trains them to the absolute best of his ability and tells them over and over that bats don’t kill, but in the end that’s all he can do. it’s a choice that they have to make when it comes down to it. a bar they have to set for themselves.

bruce is not a cold, unfeeling asshole with a superiority complex. despite the act, he isn’t. he’s just some guy dressed like a bat trying to make this house a home. if he was an unfeeling asshole with a superiority complex, then he wouldn’t go around adopting kids left and right. he could’ve just let them run off on the streets, trying to fight crime and solve mysteries all on their own. but he didn’t. he wouldn’t. and that says something.

#dances dances #i’m. very passionate about batman #maybe a little insane even #but yeah #he learns from his children and he learns from his mistakes and he cares and he hopes and he loves #yes bruce has messed up yes he’s done things that hurt the family but he’s not heartless #yes his refusal to kill the joker strained his relationship with jason but that doesn’t mean he was outright DEFENDING joker #yes jason is also valid for wanting to kill the joker and wanting to avenge himself??? like #jason isn’t heartless either #yeah he used lethal force and was willing to kill but that doesn’t mean he cared less about protecting people #he still wanted to keep gotham safe and he did it how he thought was right #the batfam is messy and complicated and their morals are all valid in their own right and it’s wonderful?? #anyways uh #yeah #i like them a lot #i had to have this proof read by my friend bc i didn’t know if. i knew what i was talking about hshdhHSHDF #shout out to my bff jayme for listening to me ramble for two hours

[itspileofgoodthings]

the balance and healing sanity in all of Taylor’s songs

#i read this incredible essay on romeo and juliet about how its real power is not the anguish portrayed #(even though it's so acute and piercing) #but somehow the tenderness with which shakespeare treats the AUDIENCE #like. he holds you in the palm of his hand and keeps you safe even while breaking your heart wide open #and it just smacked me in the face so hard as being so blindingly TRUE #there is such tenderness towards the audience. their heartbreak is never made a joke of. it is seen and it is safe #and there is something in Taylor where it's the same #lots of people can capture anguish in a song. lots of art can be 'raw' #authenticity (a certain kind) is actually not lacking as much as people say it is #not really #but what IS lacking is this whole worldview in the artist's heart and mind and eye and VISION of the world #that somehow infuses whatever emotion is presented with meaning #that vibrates down to the depths of things #there is an understanding of the wholeness of love and the goodness of things and the joy of things #in Taylor's songs #and so they are psychologically sound and psychologically healthy #like. we are a messed up country/culture/world when it comes to human relationships #it's all chaos and madness generally speaking #and the deeply human balance and wisdom in all of Taylor's music #acts as a balm on those troubled waters #i truly believe that! #the fact that we are not more lost in terms of romance i credit to her influence #at least in part but i think it goes so much farther and deeper than anyone knows #sheeeeeeeee #anyway thanks for attending the latest installment of Taylor Swift is Actually Very Underrated and Culturally Significant

[hey-scully-itsme]

okay so I’m 100% on board with the jokes about how stephen maturin kills a guy with a 'phallic paperweight' because they truly are funny as hell but also I’m fascinated by how the scene actually goes down. Bc he DOESN'T kill the guy with it! he just knocks him out. What he does kill him with is a lancet.

Given that, every other time it comes up, he draws a VERY hard line at using the tools of his trade as a physician to kill, it's actually super relevant to where he's at in that scene and in Fortune of War in general that that's how it goes down. lines are blurring, certainties are being erased, and everything feels out of control. huge fan of how well that scene conveys those ideas.

#the scene imo is very firmly grounded in the pain and disorientation of his changing feelings towards diana #so how i read that scene is that it's pointing towards the pain of apparently falling out of love being like some kind of emotional surgery #stephen has to go through this pain in order to be capable of a somewhat healthier relationship with her in the future #i'm fighting the temptation to add more qualifiers to 'healthier' bc everything with them is a mess all the time. love them <3 #but one of the problems with their early relationship is stephen building a pedestal for her that rivals the fucking tower of babel #and is equally damaging to any real communication between them #like they never quite manage to communicate with each other (diana has to practically hand him a script in the surgeon's mate) #but i think stephen seeing her at a low point for both of them takes off the blinders #and afterward he's able to engage with her a little more as a human and not some capricious goddess of the hunt #these are just general musings not coherent thoughts or i'd make a separate post lol #the fortune of war #the surgeon's mate #also the pocket lancet thing makes me think of seward in dracula which cracks me up