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grogusmum · 11 months

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Seven Tears part 6

SELKIE!EZRA X F!READER

WORD COUNT: 2500ish

SERIES SUMMARY: Months after being abandoned, she does something rash and summons a selkie, who wishes to bring her comfort and maybe more.

CHAPTER SUMMARY: Summer moves quickly on Roan Inish, Pearl and Cee grow close and the baby is born, but the fall brings the annulment at last, and with it there is retaliation and a choice is made.

WARNING: Olde Timey gender norms and sexism, though set in mid-20th century Ireland, and Ireland's predominantly white, Reader is physically undescribed, as are her blood relatives, her missing spouse, and his family are white, reader gives birth (not described), Cee in peril, ANGST, Colin and Jamie continue to be horrible people, Ezra is a selkie, yes, it deserves its own warning, excessive use of pet names, painful cliffhanger - its going to be okay, I promise! (as always see something say something. please let me know in my DMs if there is a warning I missed)

A/N: Welp, at 364 days since the last update- it hasn't been a literal year since the last chapter... After I finally got it down and started editing I realized why I had such a block. At least part of it anyway... This is a tough one. I understand why I kept diverting to writing side fics with sexytimes, new-fangled doodads, flashbacks of shenanigans, and so forth. While I was figuring out this chapter, and well into writing it, I spent most of the time saying to Ezra, can we just make breakfast and snuggle??? Of course, he's no help because he says yes let's. Like so many of my penultimate chapters, it's a cliffhanger and a painful one, and I am so very sorry. But I am not stopping and taking a break to do other fics. I will be writing part 7 this weekend.

Gaelic Translation (with a dash of history)

Móra dhuit ar maidin: good morning, is a twist on the traditional Dia dhuit ar maidin which means God (be) with you. Some believe this is where the infamous “Top of the Morning” Mor meaning big, Mora believed to be a “lost word”. However, it was discovered that in fact, this is one of the quite rare surviving pagan blessings. Mór was a significant goddess (note: attributes quite different to the Morrigan or Mór Ríon, even if sometimes mixed together) with many avatars. Of course, this all can be debated to the end of time, when one’s religion and language are made illegal so much is lost.

Gaeilge translation

A ghrá: love

Mo stór: Literally translating to “My treasure,” this phrase is often used to mean “my darling.”

Part 5

Series Masterlist

‘You would have to become a selkie yourself.’

Ezra stopped further conversation that night about it. “Today has been long and arduous, and not the hour for decisions of this magnitude, Moonbeam.” He had said, then unfairly distracted you as only he can.

Your time on the island was magical. You cleaned out the other cottages and your parents brought some basic furniture. The cottages were sparse but appointed with the necessaries to visit comfortably. The visits from your family and Tilda and Fergus were lovely. Because your relocation was for your safety and protection, no one knew beyond that circle. You knew you would miss your friends and cousins. But for now, you were distracted from missing them too badly because Cee came to visit, often. It was new to her, and she found it great fun. She would look at her human feet or hands and laugh with wonder, she would tell you later ‘wonder at their ridiculousness’. You noted fondly that she had a little bit of her father’s laugh.

The first time she came up out of the water you got to see the transformation firsthand. Her flippers felt for the seam under her snout, invisible to the eye. She then pulled it apart and a blonde teenager emerged.

Blonde. You looked at Ezra, flabbergasted. To which he said-

“There is a saying, my Pearl, all toads are frogs but not all frogs are indeed toads. Uncommon it may be, but one needs only look for the sea storm in her eyes to know.”

Cee came and went from the shoals, and Ezra reminded you not to worry, that as your belly rounded with every week that passed, he would be the worrier in the family.

Spending the morning fishing with your Da and Thomas, Ezra is gone when you wake. This is his way of thanking them as they usually have other supplies for you. Cee emerges from her bed which is curtained off in one corner of the great room, as you set out two bowls of porridge.

“Móra dhuit ar maidin (MOR-uhg(w)itch air MA-jin), Cee”

“Móra dhuit ar ma–” Cee yawns openly, “jin. Where is me Da?”

She, then, sniffs the oats hopefully.

“Fishing,” You tell her. “Why don' you cut some apples, dear.”

“With hooks and a line?” Cee chuffs as she sets to the task. You can not help joining her mirth.

You are with Cee on your own for the first time-

“You must have missed Ezr- your Da. I did not know I was keeping him from anyone- I would have encouraged him to visit. I am truly sorry, Cee.”

“‘tis the nature of things,” Cee says, mouth full of apples and oats, “besides if he were to slip back into his pelt and visit, he could not return to you for seven years. He has loved you a long time- everyone knows that!”

You are taken aback, you hardly register the sweet knowledge that she and others in his pod knew his love for you, thinking about the fact that if he goes in he can not return for seven years. Seeing her come and go, you assumed, with no small amount of relief, that bit was a myth, and you tell her so.

“Oh, I can come and go, because I am a natural-born selkie. Da was turned.”

“How was he turned?”

“Well,” Cee starts, “ehm, that is probably a story he ought tell you. Though he don' really like to tell that tale.”

By the time of Ezra return, Cee’s words were pushed out of your mind. For the pair of you had gathered seaweed and dug clams for luncheon, and you had felt your first real kick from the baby.

“Pearl! Come sit,” Ezra pulls you into the house. “You need to rest.”

Sitting you down by the fireplace, he settles on his knees, splaying a large warm hand on your lower belly, soft brown eyes on you, hoping to feel another kick.

“How does everyone?”

“Very well, Moonbeam,” Ezra absently runs his hand over the expanse of your middle, then drops his head on your lap. “Patrick had some supplies for us as well.”

“Any news?”

“Well…”

“What, a ghrá (uh GHRAH)?”

“Colin and his brother are still ragin’. Dierdre is making progress with the annulment, tis not sitting too well, it seems.”

“Pity sake”

“He deserves none," Ezra's eyes darken and you see his selkie nature for just a moment.

On the longest day, your water breaks at 4 a.m. The gift of midsummer's day is that daylight is already breaking, and Ezra can take the currach out right away and fetch your mam. The whole of the family comes back with Ezra and waits outside the cottage as Deirdre and Felicia help you bring young Rory into the world, with Ezra attached to your side.

When Rory's shoulder breaches its final barrier with your last mighty push, he slips like a seal into your mother’s waiting arms.

Ezra kisses your glistening brow and with a whoop, he runs to the window to shout to kin both seal and man-

“Tis a boy! With a shock of red hair from who knows where!” To which everyone whooped and laughed hardily.

“It’s midsummer! That’d be the faeries doing!” Hugh calls.

“Someone tell that boy to hush,” Deirdre says to no one in particular, shaking her head and crossing herself. She hands off the swaddled babe to Felicia, who brings him to you. Your Mam goes to the fireplace takes up an iron poker and draws talismans into the ash, muttering about faeries, calling St. Bridget to protect the home and all dwelling within.

You, Ezra, Rory, and Cee grow more in love with every passing day. There is nothing Cee enjoys more than when Rory is in his boat cradle, being lulled in the shallows tethered to a rope you hold fast to. During his fussy times, it is the only thing that calms him. She swims round and round it, bobbing up to check on him. Ezra barks his laugh at Cee’s antics and in the evenings he holds his son close, nosing his cheek and murmuring in the old way. And of course, any chance he gets, he brings you closer to him than many would find humanly possible. Nights are spent worshipful, in one another's arms. When the babe is wakeful, Ezra brings him to you, and when Rory is fed and dozing he silently takes him back to his cradle.

Summer rushes past as it has a habit of doing and autumn comes. Plans are set for this morning to go to the mainland to sign papers for your annulment.

“Tis finally here,” you sigh, kissing Ezra, the baby dressed and ready for a boat ride. “I’ll go to the church and get this settled at long last and meet you at the pub?”

“Agreed, mo stór (mu store)” Ezra says as he carries out a basket to the currach, he sets it in the boat and then helps you aboard, as you hold Rory.

The tide is with you as is the wind, so your trip is uneventful and swift. Ezra kisses your cheek and takes the baby for Tilda and Fergus to see and you head up to St Bridget’s to finally wash your hands of Colin. You smile as you walk the familiar cobbled road, excited butterflies in your belly. You remember to be watchful, knowing Colin and Jamie, this day is sure to stir up a hornet's nest. All is quiet, but you start to feel as though it is too quiet.

Ezra brings Rory into the pub, head up, bursting with fatherly pride, and Tilda comes round the board, hand on her heart. She takes up the baby as she gives Ezra a peck on the cheek.

“You may never get the wee one back,” Fergus laughs.

“Look how big you’ve gotten!” She coos.

“He is but a weed of a thing, growing faster-” No sooner does Ezra sit to catch up with his friends, does Hugh run into the bar, holding a stitch in his side. Ezra stands, his nostrils flaring as his eyes go dark, as if the barometer just fell and he could feel a dangerous storm brewing.

“I was- I was down at the docks-” he gasps trying to catch his breath. “Cee was there, knew it was the- the big day. But Colin-”

Ezra was on him, hands like vices on his shoulders.

“Ezra!” Tilda commands. He let go but the huff of his breathing bristles his mustache.

“What about Colin,” Ezra’s voice is like nothing they have ever heard. Rory fusses.

“He’s got Cee in a net, started dragging her out. Da -.”

Ezra bellows.

“Watch over Rory, Tilda. Hugh, does she know?”

“No, I came here first. Thomas has a boat- one with a motor-”

“Good lad,” Ezra breathes and storms from the pub, Hugh following behind.

At the dock, Ezra prowles up and down, until Thomas comes into view.

“Over there!”

Ezra looks at the small vessel with an outboard motor, mildly distrustful.

“Hugh stay at the dock and keep watch. We will get to the boa-”

“No. Go back to the island.”

“Wh-”

“I need my pelt.”

Cee twists and bites at the net, angry at herself for getting caught. Knowing this was to get to you and Ezra. Other seals surround her, trying to help.

She barks, nostrils flaring, pointing with her nose behind her. Two seals peel off and go in the direction she indicates, while one stays with Cee.

Soon enough two gray seals like torpedoes reach Ezra, flanking the port and starboard bows. Their heads come above the surface and one barks.

"Go on ahead to the island, in the hamper at the end of the big bed. Fast. Meet me back at this boat. Mind the propeller," Ezra shouts over the wind and motor.

The seals put out a burst of speed, porpoising in and out of the water.

"What are you going to do?"

"You have to tell her," Ezra's voice breaks, eyes rimmed red. "Tell her, I will return even if she can't bring herself to come to me. I will-"

"Ezra?"

"I promised," he wails, "I have never promised anyone anything- only she! But I can't let Cee-"

"She'll understand."

"I'm deserting her!"

"I will tell her."

"Is there anything to write with?"

Thomas rummages a bit and pulls from his pack, a small notebook with a pen tucked in its spine.

Ezra takes it and begins scribbling frantically.

Jamie’s boat speeds along, gulls scold them, and seals chase. Colin and Jamie jeer at them, determined to take their offense out on the young selkie. Heedless of the long-held taboo and the consequences that can befall entire villages, for harming a seal. Whether or not they know Cee was a selkie or a seal, they laughed in bad humor and wondered if one of them would make wife of her. They are both quite lucky Cee could not hear their base chatter.

After chewing at the net for some time, Cee finally breaks through the net, barking a laugh of triumph. When she slips free, she rolls and tumbles with her companion in celebration. When she has had her fill, she bobs in the water watching as the craft continues east. Cee barks at the other seal and sets after the boat at top speed. Only after she chews the netting that held her captive to shreds, does she make way to the mainland. But it is not long before she is faced with her mistake.

You arrive at the pub in good spirits, but your relaxed smile is wiped clean off at the sight of the faces within. Your face falls further seeing Tilda with Rory, and Ezra nowhere to be found.

"Where-"

For the second time today, Hugh bursts in like the devil is at his heels-

"C-cee-"

"Is she alright?" Tilda says standing.

"She is! She- she got away, but she's ragin' on the stand!"

The lot of you pour out of the pub. Fergus tosses out a lone customer and locks up behind. Hugh hastily explains what he knows, as your eyes become saucers. At the beach Cee is half out of her coat, as she is covered with the blanket that Tilda had the forethought to bring, she seethes-

"Da went after 'em. He didn’ know I broke free on me own until after he’d done it! He's angrier than I have ever seen!"

"Are you alright? Are you hurt at all?" Your eyes search her.

"He's not mad at that- well he is bu' he's fit to be tied because-" Cee's words pull up short, she looks like she might cry. "He thought- he- put on his pelt. I- I'm sorry."

You look as though you've been struck in the face, but you rub her shoulder absently hoping she knows you do not blame her.

"He's gone after the boat, he wi- he'll sink it," Cee finishes.

"Where's Thomas?" Asks Hugh.

"I'm here!" Thomas runs down the rocky steps, and hands you the note.

My shining Pearl,

I am loath to break my promise and beg your forgiveness.

Do I dare remind you that we spoke of you coming with me?

Though I admit that conversation was far from over.

Do I presume to ask for this gift?

Would you don a silken seal coat, mo ghrá?

Would you do this for me though I hardly deserve it?

Yours forever,

Ezra

When you finish reading, you find yourself turning a lost circle, pebbles shifting underfoot.

"I- he-" You look down at the note again, eyes brimming with unshed tears.

"He didn't want to!" Thomas says, beside himself.

"Of course, he didn't," Dierdre soothes.

Trembling, you rush to Tilda grasping her hands. Blinded by the tears that refuse to fall, you don't see what everyone else can see plain, she knows your question and hates the answer.

"The Maiden and the Seal-lord! She- she was able to take her grandmother's pelt! You have one from yours, yes? Please yes!"

The waves crash, as though very ocean can not abide your tears.

"Darlin, my seal gran has too many greats in front of it to tell us, even if I could dig it up and give it to you," Tilda holds your panicked face in her worn hands. " Which I would, I most surely would. But it would not transform you- for no matter how close I hold you as kin, you must be a blood relation. Your way… if you wish it, it will be harder."

Your wail breaks her heart, gulls echo your cry.

You take Rory in your arms, the note crushed in your hand, and climb Widow’s Rock.

"Ez-ra!"

Deirdre sends everyone back to the house and carefully climbs the rock. She wraps her arms around you and Rory.

"For right or wrong, God forgive him. He will sink that boat and come back to you, even if he can't take off his coat."

You nod in response, eyes on the open water-

"I need to talk to Cee.”

Part 7

💚THANK YOU FOR READING💚REBLOGS AND COMMENTS ARE MUCH APPRECIATED💚

If you care to read more of my stories you can find my masterlist here and if you would like to be tagged for any of my fics you can find my handy dandy taglist form here.

#selkie ezra x reader #ezra (prospect au)#pedro pascal #pedro pascal character fic #selkie #selkie ezra #ezra (prospect) x f!reader #selkie au

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jungk0oksthighs · 2 years

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Ride Or Die | The Party pt.1

mafia!jungkook, druglord!jungkook, angst, smut, unhealthy relationship

Word Count - 4.5k

Jungkook wants you to join him at a BTS party. Warnings: swearing, drinking, angsty emotional pain, mentions of past ab0rtion, violence & guns, drug use. cliffhanger, pls wait for part.2 if this bothers u i'm sorry :( Important note: this is fiction and i do not condone this type of behaviour / relationship

MINISERIES COLLECTION

“And you’re sure, you’re certain there’s no reason Namjoon would wanna see you after all this time?” Jungkook sniffs, the remains of class-a substances almost completely disappeared from his airways now. He’s been very curious about your past relationship with RM, but for obvious reasons you’ve kept what truly happened to yourself.

It’s been almost a week since your dearly beloved pressed the barrel of his gun to your chin and terrified you beyond belief. Much like everything else he does it’s not been mentioned since, as though it never happened at all. You’re hurting, longing for an escape from this life but truthfully you know you can’t leave him. You’ve tried. You were almost killed.

Being with Jungkook is like you’ve been transformed into a rubber band, the harder you pull away the more painful the inevitable snap back into his arms will become. And much like a rubber band you know if you keep pulling and pulling and pulling away from him, you’ll break.

You need him.

“For the millionth time… no.” You swallow, avoiding your boyfriend’s gaze while trying to live vicariously through whatever reality tv show is playing on the new television. Giving that Jungkook had to replace the last one after the two of you… broke it.

There are multiple reasons Namjoon would want to see you, with multiple possible motives. Your somewhat whirlwind romance with the ex-club owner was short lived but it was intense. An intimate affair in its own right. There was a time you never left his office, never left his lap. He’d asked you to run away with him, but the timing was off and you were left behind. Finding out that the infamous RM who simultaneously completed and broke your heart four years ago was actually BTS' old leader was less than settling. You really didn’t know the man at all, not even his real name, and so you have no idea why he would be outside the hotel room you were nearly killed in.

Why would he come for you? Because of the abortion? Why now? Was he trying to save you? Save you from… his new gang? Nothing makes sense, your head hurts, your brain feels fried and heavy inside your skull. It’s like an inescapable bad dream, especially when it’s all your present gang leader boyfriend wants to talk about. As if he's avoiding mentioning his extreme reaction completely.

“The gangs having a party tonight.” Jungkook’s tone is somewhat absent, he’s busying himself counting stacks of dirty money next to you, not bothering to glance in your direction, too focused on the task at hand, “Do you still have that long black dress? The one with the thigh split?”

“You want me to go?” You bite back a scoff. It’s no secret that you rarely attend the BTS parties, why would you? To watch your boyfriend knock back white slug after white slug of cocaine? The idea alone makes you nauseous. You hate that side of him.

“Mhm,” Kook nods once, wetting his thumb to separate some of the bills that are stuck together, “I’ll behave I promise, no drugs.” He’s chuckling to himself, but the sound does nothing but make your skin burn.

You love him. You adore him. But you hate him. A contradiction in itself, you’re fully aware of that. To love someone so bad for you is to knowingly consume poison because you like the familiar taste. That’s what being in his life is like, the constant daydreaming and longing for things to be different all while begging they remain the same. Are you in love with Jungkook? Or are you in love with the idea of who Jungkook could be if he finally changed his ways? The man physically pulled a gun on you, despite you being ‘the love of his life’. And yet, frustratingly, he's still the most genuine and sweet man you’ve ever known.

Perhaps what you hate the most is how much you love him.

“I don’t particularly want to go to a BTS party…” You admit cautiously, nervous gaze flickering to the man you’re seated next to. He’s shirtless, wearing nothing but ripped black jeans after his shower, even his feet are bare against the cream fur rug centre of the living room. “I think I’ll just stay in tonight, thanks for inviting me though.”

At this Jungkook stops what he’s doing, carefully piling the stacks of cash next to him before turning his face to you. The thing about your relationship is that you’re constantly walking on egg shells, you never know which of his personalities you’re going to be faced with. To your surprise his handsome features are kind, his hair still damp and brushed away from his face. When you lock eyes his immediately soften, crinkling with the beginnings of a breath-taking smile.

“Please?” He gives you a goofy grin, one that’s impossible not to mirror. If only he were always this genuine and non-threatening. Things could be so different if he dropped his Russian roulette lifestyle and remained true to the man you fell in love with. “I need to look my best, and that’s just not possible without you by my side.” He winks, and you can’t help but laugh.

“Nice try,” You’re giggling, playfully slapping his denim-clad-thigh, “But flattery isn’t going to get you anywhere, I’m staying in tonight.”

Jungkook’s features drop into something cold and icy faster than you can register, until your giggles fade into a deathly silence. There’s something fierce flooding his eyes. Something that makes every nerve ending in your body freeze over with caution, “Staying in or running off again?”

“W-what are you talking about? No…” You whisper, fuck, he found the bag. You stifle a groan, attempting to remain visibly indifferent.

Right after he held a gun to your chin you packed a bag, adamant he’d hurt you for the final time – but you didn’t go through with it. Of course you didn’t. You rarely do, and when you actually do you always end up back in his arms.

Jungkook leans closer, until he’s draping a muscular tattooed arm over your shoulders. Glaring at you, through you, and it’s enough to make you swallow uncomfortably. “You and I are more alike than you think, looks like we’re both liars, baby.” The sound of him scoffing sends a rush of nausea through your stomach lining.

“I didn’t lie about anything—”

He messily grabs your jaw with a contradicting gentle grip, smirking when he leans in closer, until his pierced lips are a hair away from your own, “You weren’t exactly honest with me either, even if you didn’t go through with it you were planning on running off again at some point. I found the bag. Clearly I can’t trust you anymore, which is exactly why you’re coming to the party tonight whether you like it or not.”

“Jungkook…” Your exhale is shaky, your words even more so as they begin to rot in the back of your throat, “I-, I was scared and I…” You peer up at him through long eyelashes, blinking slowly, defeatedly, “I’m sorry.”

“I know baby, I know you are…” He coos, softening his hold and exchanging it for an inked finger lovingly caressing your cheek. His touch is equal parts comforting and nerve-wracking, but your body melts beneath it either way, as it always does. “Go and get ready,” His sharp chin tilts toward the doorway, “It’s a fancy party so I recommend that dress I bought you for our anniversary last year.”

“Okay…” You swallow again, glancing round the seemingly normal young couple’s apartment. There are pictures of you both throughout the years on the side table, the glass on the frames smashed right over your bright smile. The place screams young love, when in reality, you and Jungkook are far from the normal young couple. It’s poetic really, how the cracked frame conceals your happiness. Because that’s exactly how you feel.

Sometimes happy. Sometimes broken.

Wanting nothing but an easy life you do as he says, taking your time to get ready for the night ahead. The dress he bought you is stunning, a floor-length black gown with a long thigh split and plunging neckline that flaunts the swells of your fake breasts – another present from Jungkook two years ago. Your hair hangs in loose waves, diamond droplet earrings peeking through the strands and perfectly matching the diamond necklace sitting between your collarbones. Yet another gift from Jungkook.

The thing is – he treats you ‘well’. Everything you desire is yours without a moment of hesitation. From the breast implant surgery you wanted, to almost everything you wear. It’s yours, it’s all yours. He buys you everything a woman your age could possibly ever want. Beyond everything you could ever want. Puts a roof over your head, keeps you alive. And when he isn’t drugged up to the nines he’s so sweet, caring and genuinely loveable. Sometimes you think you’re overreacting, everybody has flaws. It’s just his flaws could very well kill him. And they’ve put your life in danger also.

Footsteps against the wooden flooring outside the bedroom prompt you to stand from the dresser, having just finished your makeup. A smoky eye and nude glossy lip, it’s been a long time since you’ve had an occasion to dress up for and so you’ve made the most of it – even if you’d rather stay at home.

When you open the bedroom door you’re greeted with your boyfriend looking every part of delicious. Raven hair slicked back and wet-looking, emphasising the undercut style. Plentiful silver hoop earrings that somehow manage to bring your focus to his jaw. Jawline so sharp it could do the man’s dirty work for him, killing anyone who dares to touch it. Everything he’s wearing is black. The suit, the shirt, the shoes, down to the tie. It’s been equally as long since you’ve seen him dressed up like this too, so much so it almost takes your breath away.

“You look—” You’re at a loss for words, jaw slack and eyes wide. You swallow, a genuine smile creeping onto your features, “You look so handsome…” And he does, he really, really does.

“Nothing compared to you…” His hooded eyes drag themselves from your toes to your face, hungry and swimming with lust. They flicker down to your breasts once, twice, three times before he smirks. Looking you dead in the eye. “Fucking look at you. You’re so beautiful Y/N.”

“Uh-, thanks…” Blood rushes to your cheeks, but he doesn’t stop the string of compliments there.

“I really am the luckiest guy in the world to call you mine.” His smirk transforms into a smile, a panty-dropping, earth-shattering bright smile that throws you off balance. “Gorgeous.” He hums with pride, edging close enough to steal a soft open-mouthed kiss that you reciprocate.

Soon his strong arms snake round your body until they find your ass, squeezing it softly when his tongue slips into your mouth. You’re in a daze, hypnotised by the feeling of his body so close to yours. If only things could always be this simple, just you and him, untainted by anything else. It’s when you playfully tug his bottom lip between your teeth that he chuckles, letting go of your ass cheeks with another smirk, “Later baby, I promise. We’ve gotta go.”

“Right now?” You pout, using your best whiny voice that you know drives him insane. The icy discomfort of the accusation he threw at you earlier has completely dissipated, being with him is so hot and cold and right now? You feel nothing but hot.

At this he closes his eyes, inhaling, as though he’s having the debate of the century inside that handsome head of his, he sighs, kicking his head back with a tiny groan. “Trust me I wish we had time, trust me. You-, ah… There’s no way you’re not getting your brains fucked out tonight wearing that.” He grins, shaking any intrusive thoughts from his mind before he plants a chaste kiss to your temple. Breezing past your body to get to the dresser.

“What are you looking for?” Your gaze follows him.

“This,” He holds up his favourite gun before tucking It neatly into his suit jacket, “And… This.” He slides the brass knuckle duster onto his inked fingers, flexing his hand a couple times until he’s comfortable with the way the new accessory feels. Your stomach churns, reality shooting you in the face. Back to feeling cold.

Jungkook fixes his tie in the mirror, a hand brushing back his hair to keep the style in place. Everything about him screams danger tonight, he looks like he means business. Which is less than fortunate for you considering what line of business that entails. Clearing your throat you walk over to your shared bed, grabbing your stiletto heels.

He's staring at you through the mirror, “Sit down.”

“It’s okay I’ve got it—”

But Jungkook doesn’t fold, gently pushing your shoulders until you’re perched on the edge of the mattress that’s seen thousands of your most intimate moments together. He kneels before you, gripping your ankle and planting it atop his bent knee, sliding your foot into your heel before criss-crossing the dainty straps over your smooth legs, being sure to make the knot extra tight.

“Thank you…” You whisper, grateful and albeit a little surprised by the gesture, giving him the other foot. “I could’ve done it myself though.”

"I know," The corners of his lips tug into a smile, focussed on your other shoe, "Just another excuse for me to show you how much I love you." He says, affirming his words with a small kiss to your ankle.

You giggle lightly in return, staring at him with nothing but love and adoration. It’s moments like this that you wish could last forever, when your boyfriend is selfless and kind. But the glimmer of the brass knuckle duster beneath the bedroom light is a painful reminder that he’s not always this person. Not by a long shot.

BTS’ manor house is nothing shy of extravagant. It’s tucked behind other huge mansions concealed and protected by a large black gate that even you don’t know the access code for. By the time you arrive the party looks to be in full swing, music booming from every angle of the obnoxiously gigantic building. Your stiletto heels knock uncomfortably against the stones on the driveway, prompting Jungkook to lift and carry you inside from the car, effortlessly, as though he’s always had the weight of you in his arms.

“Jungkook! Over here!” His best friend calls from the bar as soon as you step inside, nursing a flute of champagne and entertaining all of three women who’re practically clawing the grey suit off his frame. “It’s good to see you Y/N.” Jimin adds when you get a little closer, your boyfriend finally resting your feet to the ground.

“Looking as gorgeous as ever.” Jimin hums, tugging you into an awkward half-hug where he kisses your cheek, prompting Jungkook to laugh.

“Careful there. Keep your hands to yourself before I have to break them,” He jokes, though there’s a spike of malice to his tone that even you notice, “Is everybody here?”

Jimin nods, pursing his usually plump lips into an awkward line, “Whole team is here now, yeah.”

“What’s this party for?” Your gaze flickers between the two men, thanking Jungkook when he passes you your own flute of champagne. The manor house is busy, bursting at the seams with fabulously dressed men and women who look as though they own the world. Everybody here has money, not just money but money. It’s obvious, wealth oozes from the crowd of party-goers and you’re glad you listened to Jungkook’s outfit recommendation.

“You didn’t tell her?” Jimin’s frowning, nudging his blonde bangs from his eyes with one hand, feeling up one of his groupies with the other. You bite back a grimace at the sight, “This party is for you Y/N.”

“I-, what?” It’s your turn to frown, stare snapping to your boyfriend instantly. He’s nodding slowly, expertly analysing the crowd as though he’s looking for someone. “What do you mean this party is for me?”

“A welcome home party.” Jungkook sniffs, still busy searching for something hidden in the sea of people, “I missed you baby.”

Jimin’s smiling, peeling a small button-sized packet from his suit trouser pocket, filled with crushed white powder. “He was insufferable without you Y/N,” He chuckles, opening the tiny bag and dipping a key into the snow, taking a heap of it on the metal before vacuuming it up with his symmetrical nose, “You want a bump Jungkook?”

You freeze, heart hammering inside your chest. This is exactly why you don’t come to these things. For this reason. You love Jungkook, but you hate the fact he toys with his life so recklessly. He knows you hate drugs, he knows you don’t approve of the risky decisions he makes every time the dust of forced dopamine finds it’s way into his nostrils –

“Nah, not tonight.”

“Really?” Jimin’s brows are hiked so far up his forehead it’s wrinkled, taking the surprise straight out of your mouth, “You sure? It’s good shit, imported from Columbia and I haven’t crushed it with anything else. It’s pure cocaine Kook, your favourite.” The bag has found it’s way into the hands of one of Jimin’s adorers and you watch her with nothing but disgust when she takes a bump too. So out in the open, in front of everybody.

It's not that you're too proud to partake in such activities. It's more that you've witnessed first hand what this lifestyle does to people. When you used to work as a stripper the amount of girls who destroyed their lives over this stuff was more than enough to put you off ever trying it yourself. At first you didn't particularly care that Jungkook took drugs, most people in their twenties swimming in dirty money and guns do. But as you fell deeper and deeper in love with him, his after hours hobby started to bother you more and more.

It was around then that you established that you love him dearly - but sometimes you fucking hate him too.

“I said not tonight.” Jungkook’s tone is absent, as though he’s not fully paying attention to what’s happening right here in front of him. He's sipping champagne, finally zoning back into the conversation when the next words tumble from his lips, “I’m done with that shit.”

Jungkook’s looking right at you, deadly serious.

“Yeah, okay.” Jimin snorts, sounding every part of congested and you wonder how much of the substance he’s already consumed, “I’ve heard that before. When you change your mind let me know.”

“I’m not gonna change my mind Jimin.” If looks could kill, Jungkook’s best friend would be dead. You feel awkward, as though you shouldn’t be witnessing this unfold. Truthfully had you not been here you know it would be a very different outcome indeed, it always is. “I’m done. I’m done with coke, done with pills, I’m done with all of it.”

“You are..?” You whisper, heart thumping in your chest as though you’ve just taken a hit of the class-a powder yourself. Is this a façade? Is he only saying this because you’re standing right here? You want to believe him, but with his track record it’s a little difficult. A little too good to be true.

“I am.” He cracks a small smile, wetting his lips, “For good.”

“Well I’ll have Mr No Fun’s then…” One of Jimin’s admirers pipes up, seductively batting her lashes in the direction of your boyfriend. You frown upon seeing her sultry expression, clicking your tongue to the roof of your mouth with an audible pop. The audacity of some people, you're standing right here.

A puff of air rips from Jimin’s partially blocked nostrils upon seeing your reaction, but he turns to the red-headed woman with a drunken grin, “Yeah you will baby, come here…”

“I’m gonna-, where are the rest rooms?” You have to physically stop yourself for pulling the woman’s cheap hair extensions from her scalp when she takes a bump of blow, being sure to stare at Jungkook the whole time. Going as far to send a distasteful wink his way.

Jungkook’s already noticed your discomfort and internal anger, prompting him to tug you into his arms before his lips smash against yours hard enough to bruise.

He kisses you with everything he has, with everything the man is. As though he wants the world to know, wants her to know, that he’s taken. That he’s yours. A content rather smug hum lands in his mouth along with your tongue, swirling against his in a kiss so sinful you almost forget you’re in public. On muscle memory alone his free hand finds the swell of your ass and squeezes, a small chuckle rumbling his strong chest when you yelp.

Pulling back with a grin you hand him your champagne flute, determined to show this girl exactly who you are. When you face her she’s already staring, mouth agape and eyes narrowed with disgust, but you don’t care. It’s been a while since you’ve had to use the art of seduction to get what you want – giving that Kook’s almost always the one to come onto you first. But you have a plan, a brilliant, evil plan. You used to be a stripper after all, you know exactly how to show her who’s boss. Jungkook’s boss. Things with him may not be perfect by any means, but he's yours.

“Come here…” You whisper, locking eye contact with your new enemy. Motioning with your finger you’re very grateful that she obliges, until her face is impossibly close to yours. Jimin, the other girls and Jungkook all watch on with very cautious gazes. Though in your peripherals you can see your boyfriend smirking into his champagne glass, lips smeared with your lip gloss.

“What?” The red head says curtly, quirking a single brow.

And that’s when you lean in closer, until you’re a hair away from her dry looking lips, giving her the chance to pull back if she’s not into it. But she doesn’t, instead she gauges the situation perfectly and kisses you before you even have the chance to make the first move. You kiss her back, nothing too salacious just an innocent closed-lipped kiss that lasts no longer than ten seconds before you chuckle against her mouth, resting your forehead to hers.

“If I were you I’d savour that taste,” Your voice is loud enough for the other’s to hear, “Because that’s the closest to my man you’re ever going to get.” Pulling away you wink at her, palms finding Jungkook’s chest when you turn, “I’ll be right back…” You whisper, sweetly kissing his cheek.

Jungkook’s laughing in disbelief at your boldness, though when your body brushes past his you feel that your little display has definitely, definitely caused a nine inch problem in his slacks. “I’ll come with you,” His voice is hoarse, eyes trained to your curves before he swallows, “Excuse us.” He’s rushing you to walk faster, breath hot in your ear when his strong arm snakes round your middle, “Jealousy has never looked so fucking sexy.”

“I’m not jealous of her.” You tut, rolling your eyes all while trying to rid your features of a triumphant smirk, “I just don’t want her to think you’re available, because you’re not.” You remind him with a smile, a smile that has the suited-man equal parts flabbergasted and horny.

“Oh I know I’m not, I’m all yours baby. All fucking yours.” His fingers lace with yours before he tugs you in the correct direction, being careful not to knock over anybody in his way, “And you’re mine.” The weight of his words are met with a firm slap to your ass.

It’s when you’re almost by the restrooms that Jungkook is called over by a nearby waiter, holding a glass of champagne with a single red rose petal floating atop the bubbles. He stills, looking every part of irritated that he’s been summoned by the staff and his plans of a bathroom stall fuck have been delayed. But to your surprise, and to his utter shock, the tall waiter’s gaze zones in on you.

“For you miss, from a gentleman over there…” His head tilts behind him, Jungkook’s stare snapping in that direction faster than the speed of light itself. You swallow, brows pinching with uncertainty. On the tray there’s not only the drink but a small white card inked with beautiful black calligraphy that reads:

My cinnamon, I’ve missed you.

"RM wanted me to let you know that you won't get a chance like this again Y/N." The waiter's words are laced with venom, piercing blue eyes fixated on your horrified features.

This is not happening right now, RM is here, in the BTS mansion. And Jungkook doesn't have a clue about what truly happened between you and your old boss. His old boss. It's only a matter of time before you're forced to tell the truth and that genuinely terrifies you. You swallow, peering up at Jungkook who's large palm is reaching into his suit jacket, for the gun you saw him put in there.

"Jungkook don't." You try to warn him, but it's too late. He pulls the gun from his inner pocket and pushes it against the nameless waiter's stomach, eyes burning with blind rage.

"You've got five seconds to tell me what he wants before I shoot." His voice is serious, any flirtation long forgotten about. With a firm hold of your hand and the other pressing presumably a loaded gun to the other man's stomach, you freeze.

"Isn't it obvious?" The water laughs, in the blink of an eye pulling his own silver gun and shoving it to your ribcage hard enough to make you hiss in pain. "He wants his girl back."

Jungkook's jaw tightens upon seeing the man click the safety off his gun, eyes blown out with wrath and disgust, maybe even a flicker of fear. The kind of look that makes every hair on your body stand to attention, simultaneously wanting to escape him now he knows the truth, and be saved by him all at once.

There's a deafeningly loud gunshot that follows, but you feel no pain. For it wasn't you who'd been shot, rather the waiter who's dropping to the floor with a pained shriek. You swallow when the crowd begins to scream, chaos ensuing at the aftermath of your boyfriend's quick thinking.

That's when he turns to face you, his expression nothing short of panicked when his fingers untangle from yours,

"Run."

#jungkook #mafia!jungkook #jungkook ff #jungkook angst #jungkook smut #jungkook series #jungkook writers #jungkook writing #jungkook fiction #jungkook bts #namjoon bts #mafia!namjoon #jungkook x reader #namjoon x reader #toxic jungkook #yandere jungkook #druglord jungkook #jungkook fanfic

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not-poignant · 1 year

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Hi Pia, do you have a date planned for when Mallory & Mount will be released? I'm super excited for this new long fic

I don't, unfortunately! It was meant to be this year, but I'm finding Underline the Black and its spinoffs way too interesting right now. My response got long so I'm going to tl;dr a response with: My last fully original story did the worst out of any story I had ever written and kept declining over 4 years which hurts, also the worldbuilding is a lot.

There are a couple of reasons for my struggle with Mallory & Mount and the first is that the worldbuilding is pretty intense (and still has a little more growing to do):

(this is on the Obsidian software - every node is an article.)

The second is actually that I actually just...don't love writing brand new worlds with heavy worldbuilding. I have thought of two ways to overcome this which is to a) start with small side-stories first featuring characters who aren't our main characters to get a feel for the world and the language, and b) to potentially write Mallory & Mount in another form (like a Fae Tales AU) to get a feel for new characters in a world that I don't have to remember from scratch. (Though I don't really want to do either).

At any rate, much like The Court of Five Thrones and The Ice Plague, that kind of writing is some of the hardest and most laboursome that I do. I have no guarantee that anyone will really want to read it in a way that makes it financially viable, after watching the Fae Tales canon slowly tank over time, and I know from experience that tropes + cliffhangers do better on AO3 over more classic fantasy style writing. At least for me. Which makes Mallory & Mount a financial risk to my livelihood and an emotional risk to just thinking I'm...okay at writing, which is like...whoof, really tough to commit to when it's going to be the hardest writing I do out of any of my stories!

That doesn't mean I won't write it! It just means I need some time to kind of psych myself up beforehand, lmao. I had these feelings and fears before The Ice Plague, and you know what, a lot of my fears came true: It was a terrible performer, it is the worst performing long Fae Tales story out of all of them. In fact, it is the worst long-perform story I've ever written across two accounts, including a fanfiction rarepair that's so rare two of the books aren't being published anymore.

I can't put myself through that again this year and I don't know if I can put myself through that again next year either. I need time to heal so I can destroy myself again lmao. Like there's no guarantee this will happen (hey it might go great!), but I went through it once, and the hard thing about serials is that you go through that pain for consecutive years.

It's not a published novel you can just put behind you when it tanks (like The Gentle Wolf - which I still love, it just...was not loved by that many fellow people, though I still see you, Aodhan and Thomas fans). You're still publishing it over the years, stuck with it, trying your best by the readers and characters and wondering what to do and why you suck so much at writing, and you have all these well-meaninged readers often telling you things that you already know (even though having your flaws pointed out for 4 years is not that helpful) but can't change without abandoning the story, or they're telling you things that just straight up hurt like 'I just don't like these characters compared to Gwyn and Augus' which definitely makes you not want to continue either writing Gwyn and Augus or Mosk and Eran.

So yeah, some 'part-writing-wound-stage-fright' has turfed Mallory & Mount from 'upcoming' to 'I don't know when but maybe one day.' I do know one thing, if it does badly, I'll abandon it, because I can't put myself through like 4 years of The Ice Plague again, and Mallory & Mount will potentially span at least this long. Like, I've been burnt out since finishing The Ice Plague and most of it is emotional. I've been writing easy, lazy stories ever since (by my standards). I question if I can even write a completely original series that anyone would want to read, even if it sounds interesting now, or is interesting in a little short story. That's different in a new long story and my last experiences in both publishing an original novel, and also an original series were...really really really hard.

If a new original long story can't reach new readers in a way that sort of grows my writing career and income, I am...going to stop doing them? Because it sort of indicates to me that I'm shit at it. I don't need to keep being terrible at something for like 5+ years over multiple stories to know that I'm just not getting better at it and might be getting worse, lol.

(I am endlessly grateful to all the readers who did stay engaged, or who liked The Ice Plague and The Gentle Wolf, y'all are the MVPs of 'Pia still writing today' <3333)

#asks and answers #mallory & mount #m&m #mandm #anon i am SO SORRY #i know you didn't expect or probably want a long answer #i had an emotional realisation while writing the response #and then was like ohhhHHHH i don't actually think it iS mostly the worldbuilding or anything like that #i think it's that the last 5 years has taught me any original story i do #will perform the worst out of all of my stories #all i have is fanfiction and spin-offs of an original world i started 8 years ago #and now i'm sad

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eureka-its-zico · 5 months

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Okay now that I’ve finally collected my thoughts..

This is going to be such a brain dump and I’m really sorry but I hope it makes sense 🫠

Chapter 8 surprised me in so many good ways and once again that shows how good of a writer you are. I don’t want to write any spoilers in case people who come here haven’t caught up so I’ll have to allude… but like

Wow

When people say that they’re going to write angst and hurt comfort and action with violence (some of my favourite genres don’t judge) etc I always expect these parts to be short and fast paced as that’s what I’ve usually come across because readers and writers alike, we just can’t wait to get to the happy part after a small dose of angst.

But I knew with you, when you said you were going to torture us you were not going to disappoint. And tortured I was but in the BEST WAY.

You didn’t rush anything, you went into so much detail, you made sure that we got everything with that build up (slow burn oh my gosh) before moving onto a happy moment (omg the first reunion with Z had me in BITS I was so on edge I wanted to scream which is exactly how this should be even if I was in pain - thank you and well done). I then thought, ‘okay wish we could have prolonged this but I enjoyed it for what it was’

And then we went back to angst??? And I thought?? ‘Okay okay didn’t see this coming I’m liking it okay. What other surprises am I gonna get’

And then we had another happy moment (my goodness the hurt comfort was THRIVING thank you for building that tension because my god did you deliver) so I thought again ‘okay that was a nice little surprise, so the MC is saved now’ and then you had that ending? That cliffhanger? When I tell you I screamed ‘YESSS OMG MORE ANGST MORE ANGST’ I was not kidding

I read someone say that they basically came here for Zoro and stayed for the fic and I’ve never related to something so much. What I thought I was going to get with this series compared to what we’ve got, has blown me out of the water.

If this was a book I would buy it.

You’ve just… yeah. I’m honestly blown away by your writing and how you’ve paced it (I know I keep talking about pacing but it’s something even well known published writers struggle with and yet here you are, doing it absolutely brilliantly)

I sent my friend a 7 min voice note the other day just screaming at her about how good this fic is to the point where she’s asked for the link (she’s a Sanji girl and mainly reads Sanji stuff so you know this fic has been sold well if she’s considering reading it) and honestly? After finishing chapter 8, I haven’t stopped thinking about it.

I just. I have nothing more to say. It’s incredible. So incredible I may even start rereading it. It’s just. You’ve ticked every single box for what I personally would want in a fic and that is rare and I know I’m not the only one.

Tldr; damn.

Sorry for the word splurge, I just needed to tell you you’re awesome

Osiyo, darling,

Okay. I’ve been disgusting this since you sent it because there is a lot of goodness in this that turned me incredibly soft. Please don’t ever apologizing for dumping on me about anything!

You are also incredibly sweet trying not to spoil anything. You are just a sweet and kind bean at this point who can do no wrong in my eyes.

There would never be any judgement here from me on what anyone likes to read. Just no judgement from me really on anything. My sister’s favorite things to read are far different from mine - she lives and breathes filth 🤣 - and that’s okay. As long as it gets someone reading and having a good time, it’s truly all that should matter.

As for the angst part, I can agree that we just always want to conclude the heavier parts faster to get to the good part, but that isn’t how I roll. I feel like it does such a disservice to the stories to not flush out characters and the scene. There is so much that can be explored in a moment and we shouldn’t be scared to do that in the slightest. I say this knowing very well I’ve been doing this with this next chapter 🙄

Angst is my bread and butter. I think, personally, I’m better at it than fluff or smut, although I work hard on these too, because I just want to grow as a writer, and not attempting them feels like a greater disservice to myself. So, just reading how much you enjoyed the angst throughout the chapter sprinkled in with all the other bits makes me feel thankful. I’m always hyper aware of this and making sure it’s always as balanced as I can get it throughout the story.

Ugh. To have two people tell me they came for Zoro and stayed for the fic makes me incredibly emotional. You don’t understand. Then to say if it was a book you’d buy it? Literally sobbing because it’s my dream one day to be able to publish something. Literal tears.

Add in the voice note rant and I’m hugging myself. This is so relatable. I literally do this exact thing all day. Just ranting throughout the day like a crazy lady about fic ideas or just things I see constantly. I’m truly humbled that my story is rant worthy to a friend 🖤🖤 the best compliment thank you so much.

I’m not sure there are any appropriate words to explain how much I loved reading this. How your comments truly impacted me in such a meaningful way. It isn’t enough, but thank you so so much.

#puellaigmotum #answered #I have a heart full of so much gratitude #thank you so incredibly much #Chaos in Their Bones review

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boop-beep-boop · 1 year

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ive loved this book to death since like 4 years ago but the 2 sequels were NOT THAT GOOD and theyre such obscure books so i have no idea why i'm posting this but anyways i present: endling: the last was a literal masterpiece and it's sequels were just disappointing.

also this is kind of a shitpost because of the terrible spelling, grammar and formatting. like i said, im not even making this post for anyone

unrealistic ending

dude a felivet is capable of murdering several trained soldiers at once. realistically, the kazar wouldve overpowered most humans. even if khara was skilled and agile enough to beat him ina normal fight, it was a. a 1v2, b she was severely wounded. her injury took 6 hours of magic for her to be able to LIVE, at this point its just plot armour. also, considering her 2 enemies were willing to fight each other instead of teaming up to defeat the wounded 15yo chanllenging them, it wouldve been at least realistic for her to pit them against each other, to make things a lot easier for her, but noOoOoO, she challenges them to a 1v2. voluntarily. bruhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

it lacks much of what the first book had. the first book was amazing because of a few things 1. char development 2. realistic emotional moments 3. simple pace 4. good worldbuilding and interesting adventures 5. the sense of found family and togetherness, as they meet new people and trust them and become a new family

the first book wonderfully showed a child whose whole family/species had been brutally murdered, and how she dealt with grief and survived as an endling. and built a new family. it does a great job of introducing the world and its species, its hierachy, its polictics, systems, so on so forth. it makes you cry so much because of how emotional and painful it is.

the third book? hahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahaahahaha

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah. 1. i believe that the book was originally only meant to be a single book, but was later given 2 sequels. which is why most of byx's character development and learning is finished in book 1, and some of it in book2. by book3, instead of a child clinging onto morals and lessons from her family, she's now a mature person who has the least subtle morals running around her head. she has less depth and is just... so unsubtle. 2. most of her grieving is over. she rarely mentions her family, or her past. you cld say that its good that she moved on, but no, she doesnt even hang on to the lessons she learned from her pack. which in book1, she would reiterate constantly, because her pack was such an integral part of her life. as it should be! but now, she's "moved on", except she just... sorta forgets them. a quick namedrop wouldve been nice every now and then, to show how they and her childhood impacted her. 3. war preparations arent simple, but the pacing is just... all over the place. 4. as Ambassador, the adventures in the book are now. just. politics. diplomatic meetings. and as an important person now, byx is a lot more protected and deals with a lot less setbacks and conflicts. so the adventrues are just... not interesting. 5. the group is separated for most of the book. sure, you do need the top level people to multitask when preparing for a war, but... it's lost the sense of togetherness, the sense of the few of them against the world, travelling around, having their adventures together, just them, dealing with shit together. and thats what found family is about, at least in books 1 and 2.

writing this has made me realize what the problem is, this book is just closure. closure to the cliffhangers of "war is coming" in the earlier books, and it just wants to tie up loose strands and provide an ending. but that means that this consumes the whole book and makes it... not fun. closure is necessary, like for instance, all in was a better finale part than the hardest thing. but the hardest thing was necessary to end the story and bring closure. thing is, the hardest thing is 30 minutes. the entireity of amphibia is around 20 hours long. meanwhile, endling book3 was one third of the series. AND the hardest thing was STILL more riveting than book3. war preparations ARE boring. and book3 was completely consumed by it.

okayy so i wrote this last year and i re-read the trilogy (its like, the first book i read with my face ;))))))))))) then because the next 2 books EXIST, not that theyreup to standard, or in the case of book3, GOOD, i read them, but just very quickly skim through the second half of 2 and all of 3 with my face '_', i cant just NOT read them after reading book1, yaknow?) so im thinking

so i really hate the final climax fight, right?

i mean they literally said the arrow was barbed and 3 inches deep (thats 7.5cm. SEVEN POINT FIVE MOTHERFUCKING CENTIMETRES DEEP, NOT TO MENTION THE BARBED ARROWHEAD WOULD LEAD TO A WIDE WOUND AS WELL), and the blood was literally PUMPING from her chest. no offence but thats a death sentence.

okay so, magic was involved. but reminder that you can only start learning and using theurgy after 15, and renzo was only a year past 15, but we know he wouldnt have time to study theurgy while travelling with the gang, and all his knowledge comes from the first few months of him being of age. meaning, he is NOVICE AS FUCK.

i am fine with the notion of khara keeping her life because he was quick to do his whatever first aid and then his 6 hours of magic encantations or whatever, but it is RIDICULOUS that she could WALK and TRAVEL normally AND THEN EVEN GO FIGHT THE MOST BIGGEST AND MOST FORMIDABLE FIGHTERS OF THE PLACE

IF A FEW-MONTH-OLD MAGIC PRACTITIONER CAN DO THAT THEN THE POPULATION OF NEDARRA/DREYLAND SHOULD BE FUCKING IMMORTAL OKAY, IF A NOVICE CAN DO THAT, THE OLD PPL WHO ARE WIZARDS OR WHATEVER AND DEDICATE THEIR LIVES TO THEURGY SHOULD BE ABLE TO IMMORTALIZE YOU OR REVERSE YOUR AGE OR SMTH

anyways this is ALL BULLSHIT OKAY so waht im thinking is a re-write

book3 is kinda unsavable cuz like i said, i cant stand the politics and lack of the gang being together, but at least i can kind of try to save this plot-armour-dependant, illogical and annoying to read section

consider this: the bandits took the 3 by surprise because they were just chilling and chatting and rather laid back right? but renzo, becuase him following them was entirely to watch out for them, and he also had to look out in case THEY see him, would be on high alert.

so im thinking, what if the first arrow wasnt spot-on, but instead whizzed past khara, maybe nicking/slicing her a little, leading the same scene where she stops talking and byx to be confused, but as she has no idea what happened and it came outta nowhere, she doesn't really react to it. but renzo immediately sees the arrow and figures its an attack, and since khara isnt moving outta the way, he spurs his horse on very quickly and just gallops in front of her as a meat shield and the next arrow hits him instead.

THEN khara reacts and is like HWAT THE ACTAL FUCK and once her brain processes the situation she is enraged out of her fucking mind and goes Apeshit™ on the bandits with her cool shiny sword and kills the fuck outta them. then the same scene in canon happens, just in reverse, shes panicked as fuck and yelling for byx n tobble to bring shit and do shit for her as she tries to save his life, only problem is she doesnt know magic so...

either 1. the arrowhead isnt barbed or it didnt hit any vital organs, so she can deal with it without magic

she sends byx to go find help, find a nearby armyofpeace affiliated village where they can send supplies and medics

he fucking dies LMAO

okay no 3 is just sad although it wouldnt affect the ending where they kill the kazar and the murdano its kind of a pointless death and it will make the ending feel more empty. also you KNOW to DEATH that khara and byx r gonna blame themselves (theyre gonna do it when hes wounded as well but you know itll be a million times worse if he effing DIES) and anyways no one in byx's new family shall die it WONT HAPPEN ON MY WATCH

okay so not 3 lmao

1 and 2 dont have THAT big a difference, also i am currently spouting the word "rewrite" but in actuality im never gonna actually write this out into a fully fleshed fanfic/rewrite/wahtever so it doesnt matter that much, just the idea is that he takes the shot and is seriously wounded in place of her (but lives, yay)

khara kind of wants to call off the mission so that she can care for him but everyone tells her that this oppurtunity (both dicators just... being out there to be dueled, without their MASSIVE FUCKING ARMIES) wont ever come back once she misses it, so she, byx n tobble rush to the final fight

the final fight goes as it does in canon, just that she is ACTUALLY CAPABLE OF FIGHTING this time, also she strategically lets the kazar and the chimera fight it out first, then swoops in to challenge them when theyre both beaten down a little. okay then everything goes as it did, just with more very cute and sweet and emotional scenes when she returns and takes care of him

yes i am a sucker for cliche character-meatshields-and-saves-other-character's-life scenes but this is the only time ever that its not purely self-indulgent okay, canon scene is just. not. realistic.

i have.... more complaints.

firstly, # justiceforgambler bruh, why isnt he in the epilogue??? book1 loyalists could even argue that he mattered more than renzo, but regardless of that, it should be the 5 of them as a family. why was it randomly just 4 of them????? bro hes an integral part of the gang and a main cast member i swear why isnt he in the epilogue? OR IN BOOK 3, AS A MATTER OF FACT?? HE BARELY HAS A PRESCENCE?????? maxyn and sabito, who i do not give any shits about, get 20 times more screen time than a main cast member who saved the gang multiple times.

speaking of screentime and gambler, WE NEEDED MORE SCENES OF GAMBLER AND RENZO?!?!??! have we all forgotten that one scene where they bonded over being math nerds, and that other scene where they had a mini trip together to set fire to some shit?? arson bros for life

anyways theyre totally huge bros but we were ROBBED of more interactions and scenes with them, in favour of BORING DIPLOMATIC MISSIONS AND CONVERSATIONS INVOLVING EITHER BORING MAXYN OR BORING POLITICAL FIGURES.

speaking of maxyn, i fucking hate him?? imo his character was handled really poorly, really really poorly. (yeah ik hes a good guy but hes badly written so i hate him) the scene where his dad dies is really bad?? for one, byx, little miss i-have-no-tact, when someone crying over their dead dad reminds you of you crying over your own dead family, you dont say "i know how you are feeling" like what??? what kind of comfort is that??? if anything, im pretty sure people feel WORSE when they hear of others also having their parents DIE. also, no offence, but you DID indirectly cause the death, so uh, i dont think you should be even trying to comfort him.

also the death doesnt ever get brought up again?? it feels incredibly pointless?? like if elexor had ran off on a boat nothing about the story would change. the pacing is kinda crazy too? he dies outta nowhere and in like 2 pages the dude is over his death and in the next forever and ever, no one even cares anymore

i have more reasons that his character is bad but at this point im rambling to do waht? discredit the sequels to my favourite book? im sleepy bruh i just spent 2 hours of my life on this??? also i keep on making references to a fandom of sorts even though there is literally no fandom

bye

#endling the last #bad post

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mitsungo · 3 years

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We are already this far! And this has turned into more of an Akaza x reader story 🌸 I’m sorry Kyo— for now it’s just Akaza, patience, patience. Plz excuse any spelling/grammar mistakes! I’m on vacation right now and I have been adding to this when I get inspired! The next part will be the last part which I hope to finish by Sunday! Because we need closure! No cliffhangers! Not here! 🍡 Enjoy for now! Also time is like super super uh 😵‍💫 just stick with the plot okay! 😭

⭑･ﾟﾟ･*:༅｡.｡༅:*ﾟ:*:✼✿ ❄️ ✿✼:*ﾟ:༅｡.｡༅:*･ﾟﾟ･⭑

Y/n was currently working on a kimono, the client was none other Kocho Shinobu, the insect hashira. It was daytime, so Akaza wasn’t able to be visit her, though he wish he could. He was currently down in the cellar of the mansion. Waiting for Y/n to signal him that sundown was already here. Shinobu was a very good friend of Y/n’s, and she personally would check up on her and the baby. Or babies, as Y/n would put it. Something in her told her that she were going to have twins. It was a gut feeling.

“Y/n, you really shouldn’t overwork yourself. Your body is turning very weak lately, I fear that you will fall ill if you continue working yourself too much.” Shinobu said to her one day when she came to check how Y/n was doing. “I won’t fall ill Shinobu-chan. Don’t worry so much, I’m a strong woman. I can handle this. Come now, sit down with me.” Y/n said softly, patting a spot next to her. Shinobu frowned slightly with concern. “Don’t be worried. Like I said, I am fine. Shine me a beautiful smile would you? I hate seeing a frown on your face! It disheartens me!” Y/n teased Shinobu, letting out a small giggle as Shinobu shaked her head with a smile.

It had passed around six months now, and y/n was getting sicker by the day. Her body was very frail and sickly, she couldn’t really walk around anymore either without help. Her aunt and uncle refused to leave her alone anymore but she would tell them that she needed to be alone sometimes. Senjuro and Shinjuro would come around and visit Y/n often, Senjuro more worried about Y/n’s health than anything else. Mitsuri and Shinobu would drop by too, especially Shinobu who would give Y/n medicine to help with her health and pain that she would have at times. Akaza on the other hand would visit rarely for personal reasons as he told y/n. She didn’t argue, as her energy didn’t allow her to do so. But when Akaza did visit, he would hold her and make sure she had water nearby and the medicine Shinobu gave her. Everyone, including Akaza agreed that y/n should not continue working on anymore kimonos or anything that requires work. Y/n also didn’t argue, since she was too tired to even try and everyone would notice it too.

“Y/n? Dear? You have a letter from Tanjiro-kun!” Her aunt said behind the door. Y/n immediately stopped reading the book she had in her hands. Her aunt slid open the door and gently put the letter down next to her futon. “You finished your tea already. I’ll go brew you some new tea for later.” She told y/n, picking up the tray and leaving the room quietly. Y/n smiled softly, grabbing the letter and opening it. Kamado Tanjiro, he was a very kind and gentle boy that Kyojuro had met during his hashira meeting and his last mission. Tanjiro had come by one day to deliver some last words from Kyojuro to y/n, which made her burst out into tears, then proceeding to grasp Tanjiro into a hug, causing the young boy to cry as well. Ever since that day, the both of them wrote frequently to one another, with y/n telling him about her pregnancy, wishing him luck on his missions and other things. Tanjiro would write about his missions, or his day, or how Zenitsu and inosuke missed her and how much he loved reading about how y/n and the babies were doing. Another point to y/n on how she knew she was going to have twins, when Tanjiro visited her one day during her early months of pregnancy, he assured her that she was having twins. Still, no one believed the two, though Zenitsu too assured her that she was pregnant with twins.

A few days later, Tanjiro and Nezuko had stopped by to pay a visit to Y/n. It had been around two weeks since they had last seen her, and Tanjiro was dying to speak to her. As Tanjiro and Nezuko walked to her residence, he couldn’t help but think about how much of a mother figure y/n was to him and Nezuko. She reminded him of his mother, her gentle and soft spoken nature caused him to think of his mother when y/n spoke or laughed. When she hugged him the first time they met, Tanjiro was left in a state of shock, the warmth was that of a mother, a loving and kind embrace. They both arrived in front of the mansion and immediately saw the gate open. It was Y/n’s aunt.

“Oh! Tanjiro-kun! Nezuko-chan! Good timing! I just brewed Y/n some tea! Come in! Come in my dears!” Her aunt waved, yanking Tanjiro and Nezuko in before they could even greet her. “Thank you very much Mrs. L/n!” “I told you to call me aunt! We are like family now! Don’t be shy dear!” Mrs. L/n giggled, putting a hand over her mouth, her eyes closed. “Ah yes sorry Mrs— erm auntie.” How much he missed visiting the L/n residence.

“She’s in her room! You know where it is darlings!” Aunt L/n said, before leaving to go get the tea. “Come on Nezuko, let’s go see Y/n!” Tanjiro grabbed Nezuko’s hand and they both quickly made their way to her room. “Y/n.” Nezuko softly said. “Yeah that’s right—!” The doors to y/n’s room slid open, interrupting Tanjiro. “Tanjiro. Nezuko. I’m so happy to see you both again.” Y/n smiled softly, her arms wrapping themselves around the siblings. Tanjiro’s eyes widened, “You can’t be up mother!” He quickly realized what he said, his face flushed red with embarrassment. Y/n laughed weakly, still hugging the two siblings.

After getting settled and drinking some tea, y/n pulled a small box out from her drawer. “I want to give you both something. As you both have been very kind to me, my family and my children.” Y/n said, pulling out two small handkerchiefs, one patterned like Tanjiro’s haori and the other like nezuko’s kimono. Y/n handed them to the two siblings, Tanjiro bowed his head, taking the piece of cloth and looking at it closely. It was a snowy mountain, it reminded him of his home, the snow, the trees, the grey sky. Y/n was taken by surprise when Tanjiro embraced her, tears falling from his eyes. “I’m—.” Tanjiro started but was cut off by y/n embracing him back tightly, Nezuko joining in, both children nuzzling themselves into Y/n’s hug. “You both, are one of the many greatest treasures blessed to me. I am so glad to have two wonderful children like you both.” Y/n said in between tears, Tanjiro looked up at her, a warm gentle smiling adoring her face as tears fell from her eyes. The two of them cried softly, Nezuko blinking in surprise at why her two favorite people were crying.

When Akaza arrived later that day, y/n was a bit shocked but she quickly welcomed him into her room. Akaza went to give her an embrace but he stopped midway. She smelt different, and it irritated him. Just who the hell was she seeing during the day? He had gotten familiar with a few scents, her aunt, her uncle, three friends that she refused to give the names of, but these two new scents were just unbearable, he had smelt one of them somewhere before, but he couldn’t remember from where. Y/n picked up on his new mood and looked down slightly, preferring not to say anything, as Akaza could easily get annoyed when he is in deep thought. Y/n sighed, pushing a piece of her hair behind her ear. Suddenly, a wave of pain hit her like a rock, she didn’t know what it was but it was almost as if it was a cramp. She let out a small gasp, covering her mouth quickly so Akaza couldn’t hear her, but Akaza had noticed and was already by her side.

“What’s wrong Y/n? What hurts? Tell me! Where is the medicine? Come on! It has to always be near you! You know this!” He cried, looking around for the medicine Shinobu had given to y/n for pain. “It’s in the cabinet. Top shelf.” Y/n replied, putting her hand on her stomach. As Akaza was looking for her medicine, she started to hum a tune, rubbing her stomach to soothe the babies down. “On wintery days, up on the snowy hills, a house not far from the village—.” A few small kicks from her stomach caused y/n to stop singing. She was surprised, her babies have never kicked once. Akaza froze immediately at how silent the room had become, he swiftly took the medicine and was by y/n’s side in less than a few seconds. “What happened?” He questioned, glancing back and forth at her and her stomach. “The babies, just kicked me.” Y/n answered, tears brimming from her eyes. Akaza was in shock, his eyes moved to look at y/n’s, she looked back at him, her eyes now sparkling like the stars. “Akaza-kun, I want you to know something.” Y/n started, picking up his hand and moving it towards her stomach, placing it on top. “I might die, giving birth to the babies. But it is worth my own life, as any other mother would do the same for their children. These babies, will have a life worth living, they will be able to experience what it is to grow, to love and to cry. Even though, their parents won’t be around.” Akaza’s eyes widened at her words, how could she calmly say such things? Does she not fear death? Why is that? How is that possible? No, he could not let her die, not when she had children to live for. “You can not die. You must not die!” He cried, gripping her hands tightly, causing her to flinch and look at him with surprise. “These children, can not live without a parent! They need you! Their mother! Their mother is most important person in the world! That is why you can not die! Their fathers may not be alive when they are born and when they grow up! But they will have you! And you will tell them all about their fathers, their lives and their wills! So you have to promise me….” He paused, staring intently into y/n’s eyes, who’s eyes have started to spill more tears. “…you have to promise me that you will live! For you! And for our children!” Akaza yanked y/n into a kiss, he could not be able to cry one single tear, as much as he wished he could, but y/n knew this, as she was crying much more now. “I will have to leave you. This is my last visit. I only wish. We could have spent much more time together. If only then…if only, no, this is how it must be. I’m sorry. I—.” The words wouldn’t come out of his mouth, he couldn’t say it, he didn’t have the courage to do so. Y/n gently gripped his hands, bringing them up to her heart. Akaza stared in awe, as y/n’s tears finally stopped.

Why did it have to be like this? Why couldn’t they just be together a bit more? Was it too much to ask for? He was going to be a father, after all these years, and yet he had to leave it all behind. His little affair with Y/n, his own child, his love, his kindness, his warmth, it would be all gone. All of this happiness will disappear after he leaves, after he steps foot out of her mansion, the final battle was approaching, and y/n knew it too. Why was the world like this? No, he had a role to fulfill, he must continue fighting, no matter the cost. Akaza was a demon, he ate and murdered humans. He was a monster, a very strong monster too, yet this woman who someone managed to entangle with his emotions, caused him to see beauty in the world just for a little bit. The woman who’s fiancé he had killed with his own hands, he took her only happiness away and still she found new happiness with him. And now, with twins on the way, she would be happy even more. How beautiful. Akaza felt himself stand up with y/n by his side, going near the window in the room, they stood in front of it, hands intertwined together. She kissed the knuckles of his hands, and opened her mouth,

“You are one of the most understanding, kind, respectful and wonderful persons I have ever met in my life. I am thankful for having such a sweet person with me for this long. I owe you so much Akaza-kun. So please take care of yourself.” She reached her hand out towards his cheeks, his eyes widening with confusion, her smile, was the most genuine he had ever seen on a person throughout his entire life as a demon. “Fight with honor, and do the best you have ever done in your entire life, as this is the last blessing I will give you…” Y/n’s hands fell to her sides, her eyes glimmering with passion and determination. He knew this was it, this was their last day together. As he jumped from her window, into the garden, and onto the fence. He looked back one more time to see her, just to see her before he left for good, his heart aching as he heard her words slip from her mouth.

“Akaza-kun. I love you too.”

#demon slayer #fanfic #akaza kimetsu no yaiba #akaza x reader #akaza x you #writing

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maplecornia · 3 years

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chapter 20

𝔴𝔬𝔯𝔡 𝔠𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔱: 2.04K

𝔰𝔲𝔪𝔪𝔞𝔯𝔶: You watched them from the sidelines ever since you were a young teenage girl. Now you’re grown up, they’ve returned after 2 long years and everything has changed. What happens when you pull back the mask and find the darkness within? What happens when you see that they’re broken?

𝔞/𝔫: this chapter is filled with a LOT of twists and turns

It's raining.

Jungkook notices the fact absentmindedly as he peers outside. His hand rests comfortably against his chin as he dazedly watches droplets run in their tiny streams on the window. Pressing his finger against the cool surface, he follows a fresh raindrop as it falls, his finger perfectly aligned with the trail.

The rain reminds him of Taehyung and he smiles at the thought of his friend running out there like a lunatic. Letting out a snort, he has to cover his mouth to stifle his laughter.

Just a few moments ago, Tae showed up at their meeting...

An hour and a half late...

With soaking lunch bags...

And drenched from head to toe in rain.

The sight was so ridiculous that BTS hardly had any time to scold him before laughing and teasing him in his outlandish state. Even now, Jungkook can't stop his grin.

And yet...

He can't help but wonder what his hyung was doing out in this weather.

And what happened to make his eyes shine the way they did?

Brighter than Jungkook has ever seen them before.

Sighing, Jungkook pulls away from the window, his eyes resting on the folder he brought with him. At the sight of it, he smiles with nervous excitement before reaching into his pocket and pulling out the flash drive kept safely there. Biting the inside of his cheek, he pushes all thoughts of Tae and his strange behavior from his mind.

He doesn't have time to worry about him now.

After all, he has a girl to find.

Or rather...a girl he's already found.

Moments earlier, after Bangtan's meeting, Jungkook dropped by the security room. Luckily, it was at a time where there was hardly anyone working there, and he was able to sneak in and search up the footage he needed from today. He found himself on the tape and was able to follow his tiny past self from the dance studio, up the stairs until he saw the studio number where pastKookie stopped and immediately leaned against the wall, mesmerized by your voice. Jungkook smiled a bit at the sight before he clicked on the camera set inside the studio and saw...

"Yen."

He whispers now, his eyes warm with soft affection and admiration as he rests his fingers on the file, your pictures from the footage secured safely inside. Close-ups of your face, side-views, front views, full-body shots, some blurry and some not, but all depicting that it's you...

Yen.

The same girl from that afternoon who spilled coffee all over him.

Namjoon's new charismatic assistant.

Yen.

Thinking of you, of everything that happened today, Jungkook can't help but smile. The same cute bunny smile that would melt the hearts of many. The one that brightens up his entire face, creates small indents in his cheeks, sparkles his eyes, and crinkles them up into the tiny crescent moons.

And it's all because of you.

Remembering the clumsy but kind girl he ran into that day makes him gush as though he were a school girl experiencing her first crush...but he can't help it. He can't erase your precious smile from his memory. Can't wipe it clean of the way your eyes sparkled, how soft your hands felt when he touched you. Can't forget the way you laughed or how your simple but touching words made him feel.

You seemed so pure, so bright, so happy. You were a literal beam of light, impossible to ignore, and just begging to be shared.

And yet...

When he heard your voice, the beautiful melody, the cascade of symphonies...It felt as though he was being led through your world, your very soul. He felt pain, he felt heartache, he felt lost. It was so different from the girl he ran into. So different from the innocence he saw on the outside. You touched him with your voice, helped him hear your soul...your pain. And he can't help but wonder.

Who broke you?

Whoever it was...

Jungkook wishes he could hurt them the same way they hurt you.

He looks down at the flash drive in his hand and runs his thumb over it, almost affectionately. He's finally found you.

And now...

He looks over at the door as he can hear rising muffled voices coming through the other side. Inwardly, he smiles, shoving the papers back into the file and rolling the flash drive over in his hand.

He's going to help you fly.

"Yes, I'm well aware of that, thank you, Mrs. Kwon!" BangPD says a bit irritated as he opens the door, his frantic secretary not far behind. Softly, but firmly, he turns to her and places his hand comfortingly on her shoulder. "I told him to meet me here."

The secretary, still unsure, opens her mouth to protest, but at a small shake of the CEO's head, she shuts up. Nervously, she glances from Jungkook to BangPD, panic clear in her eyes.

Jungkook can't help but give her a small wave, a bit cockily, causing Mrs. Kwon to narrow her eyes his way.

"Please, go home. It's late, you have a husband and children waiting for you, I'll take it from here, okay?" BangPD assures her, distracting her from the unruly manchild before them. Slowly, she nods, backing away from them and out of their view. BangPD lets out a small sigh as she enters her small office outside the door, before turning and regarding Jungkook with those kind small eyes.

"What did you do, Jungkook?"

Bang Sihyuk is a kind man.

Soft-spoken and thoughtful, he practically raised the members of BTS to grow into the group that saved their company. He is known for giving up his life for them, giving up everything for his dream. Working tirelessly to create a great company that gave birth to music that touches people's hearts, he is one of the main reasons behind their success. A well-known producer and CEO, he is well-respected and revered amongst the Kpop industry and the world. Without him, it makes many wonder if things would be the same today.

Jungkook owes a lot to this man.

He grew up with BTS, became a better person because of them. Sometimes he wonders what would have happened if BangPD had never taken him to meet Namjoon. He wonders what would have happened if he had gone with the safer option instead of taking the chance with BigHit. A child of 15 years old, he was thankful to him for not giving up on them. For believing in them when no one else would.

Now, he watches as BangPD shakes his head, knowing he won't get much of an answer out of Jungkook. He shuts the door behind him, placing multiple files on his desk before falling into his chair, massaging his temple as he sighs.

"I swear that woman will be the death of me." He mutters under his breath before turning to Jungkook once more. He stands there, fidgeting with the flash drive half out of excitement, half out of trepidation.

He knows that what he's asking is outlandish, against the rules. Bang PD-nim won't go for it without some persuasion.

But Jungkook has to try.

Clenching onto the flash drive, he bites his lip.

Besides, who could say no after hearing your voice?

"Jungkook?"

Jungkook looks up at the mention of his name, breaking off from his train of thought. Regarding him with thoughtful eyes, BangPD gives him a small smile. No matter how much he may grow, Bang Sihyuk will always see Jungkook as the small shy boy who came to audition all those years ago.

"Well? You wanted to talk to me?" He knows not to ask if Jungkook is alright, it would only result in lies or more silence from the young man. No, it's better to get to the point, and BangPD is very interested as to what that point is.

Rare is a time when Jungkook wants to speak to him, especially without his hyungs to support him. Jungkook glances up, a bit caught off guard by the question, before the flash drive in his hands gives him the courage to speak up.

"Uh...yes sir. Right. Here, you might want to listen to this before I say anything else." Jungkook holds out the flash drive to his CEO, and cautiously, BangPD takes it. He looks at it, a bit confused as to what it is.

Glancing over at Jungkook as he's settling down in one of the chairs on the other side of the desk. Jungkook notices and smiles, placing the file that holds your proof of identification, safely in his lap.

"Humor me." He says in turn.

"You're lucky I've turned soft on you boys." BangPD sighs, muttering under his breath as he inserts the drive into his monitor. Jungkook smiles to himself, glancing at the file.

Oh please, God let this work.

After a moment, BangPD plays the only file on the flash drive, finding it to be an audio file just as he expected. He wonders what is so important about this new track that Namjoon or Suga couldn't solve, but it's a small wonder. He prepares to listen to it as best as he can, a bit pleased that Jungkook came looking for his help. He'll try to critique and give as much feedback as he can.

But when he hears the voice, he is struck speechless.

This isn't Jungkook's voice.

This voice...the entire song, all of it...

It's so raw, so vulnerable, so bare.

Stunned, he turns to Jungkook, asking for some kind of explanation, anything to tell him what this is. But Jungkook shakes his head silently, beckoning for him to continue listening. So, no matter how reluctantly, he does.

He listens.

He listens as his trained ear begins to pick out everything about her performance.

And deduct it as best as he can.

Any normal person could take one taste of her sound and tell that she is talented. They could hear the incredible emotion that is poured so desperately into each note, each word. With her voice, her perfected vibrato, ethereal falsetto, she can paint a story, a range of emotions that shock the listener speechless. She pours her soul into the song, letting her emotions take the reign and the music speak for her.

It's heartbreaking.

And yet...at the same time, it's almost healing. Comforting. Almost familiar. As though trying to reassure the listener that they aren't alone, that they aren't the only ones hurting.

That she understands and will relieve them of the burden.

Everyone and anyone would be able to understand that.

However.

It takes a veteran producer, a man with a trained ear, a person with a deep love and understanding of music to pick apart the reason why.

Her range allows her to accomplish the deep and high notes in such a stable and sure way that carry across that soulful heart-wrenching emotion.

She has good control of her vibrato, and he can tell it's a natural gift in the way she executes and manipulates her notes.

She is very experienced in her vocals but has struggles with control. Completely losing herself in the music. It's not a bad trait, but with as powerful a voice as hers, it could be quite damaging or confusing to her emotions and could affect the flawless execution of her notes.

Nevertheless, BangPD finds himself enraptured, held in stunned silence at the sound of her voice.

It's something that draws people in, begs them to stay.

He sees in it the same talent and potential he saw in every member of BTS when he found them all of those years ago.

Instead of just hearing her sing, feeling the emotions she has conveyed, he can see it all. Almost as though she were performing for him right then and now. He can't exactly describe how.

It's almost as if she's changing the world around him, manipulating it to appear in whichever way she sees fit. She stands at the center of it all. Almost as though through her voice, she has opened a gateway, handed him a key, and invited him to see the world through her eyes.

Or rather...

See her world with new eyes.

BangPD loses himself in the music, the sound, her, that he doesn't spare a second glance Jungkook's way.

Jungkook looks on, proudly, watching Bang Sihyuk for once fall short of anything to say. He smiles as he notices the way his PD's gaze never strays from the computer screen. Jungkook himself finds his eyes closing once more, allowing your voice to take control of his mind and weave limitless stories and universes. He smiles, feeling the music through you, his lips moving along with your words as his body uncontrollably beats in time with the rhythm.

At that moment, he is one with the music, one with you.

Your souls, past and present, intertwine and he's able to see what you see.

Through this song, you gave him your heart.

And though it may be damaged, fractured, and near to breaking...

He finds it beautiful.

But then that moment ends.

The music dies down, the colors fade, the gate slowly starts to close. Your voice fades away, leaving them wanting more.

There's a moment of silence after you finish and the track ends.

BangPD stares blankly at the screen and Jungkook opens his eyes, conflicted emotions stirring both of their hearts.

After a moment, BangPD runs his hand over his face before taking out the flash drive and turning to Jungkook intently. Jungkook meets his gaze, ready for anything.

If it's for you...

...He's willing to fight.

"Where did you get this?" BangPD demands, the flash drive clenched tightly in his hands as he points it to Jungkook.

"I was passing by the studio on the top floor when I heard that voice. I wanted to walk in and see who it was, but I couldn't. I had to wait until she was done but by the time I walked in, she was gone. I noticed that the mic had recorded everything and so I decided to save it...to bring it to you." Jungkook explains, his hands tightening around the file he keeps in his lap.

BangPD, his expression unreadable, sits back in his chair, setting the USB down in front of it. He holds his chin on his hand, contemplating deeply about what to do next. Turning to Jungkook, he wears the same unreadable, pondering expression before speaking again.

"Why?" He asks and Jungkook blinks in surprise.

Out of all the things he expected him to say...this wasn't one of them.

But BangPD has already guessed the reason for Jungkook's presence, for the file, for the girl.

And he knows he can't comply.

"Sir?" Jungkook asks, causing BangPD to sigh. He leans forward on the desk, hands folded, eyes holding Jungkook's serenely.

"Why did you bring me the flash drive, Jungkook?"

At that question, Jungkook swallows nervously.

He knows.

Mouth suddenly dry, Jungkook avoids BangPD's eyes, fumbling for words. BangPD watches him, already knowing his next words, already knowing the reason, but praying that it isn't so. Jungkook knows the answer. He should know that BangPD can't say yes. As much as he may want to...

He can't.

"I wanted you to sign her," Jungkook replies, securing BangPD's fear. His hands playing restlessly on the file, he looks up at PD-nim and sighs almost pleading.

"As a trainee."

They pause in tense, uncomfortable silence.

Jungkook knows it's a stupid request. He knows the rules. He knows what this may look like. But how can he find time to care? The moment he heard your voice, he knew how special you were. He saw a light just waiting to shine and he wanted you to succeed. He wanted to share the beauty he saw through you with the rest of the world.

"I can't."

These two words cause Jungkook to flinch visibly and he tries to hide the obvious disappointment on his face.

BangPD regards him with pity, almost regret. He wants to say yes, he wants to accept you with open arms, use your talent, your voice to spark inspiration in the world. He saw what Jungkook saw, he recognized the potential, the talent, the unique touch that made you so important...so special. Even now, as he refuses, he can't help but think that he's missing a golden opportunity.

But if he accepted you...how would that be fair?

There have been so many other trainees, talented trainees, women trainees...people he had to turn away. Those he could no longer accept because of what happened in the past. Because of his potent mistake with Glam. Because he had lost the trust to ever accept or create a girl group again.

If he accepted you...

How would that be fair to those who were denied the chance before?

Sighing hopelessly, he runs his hand over his face.

He can't do that to them.

He can't break the rules for one girl when he has denied so many others.

He just can't.

As he leans back in the chair, he eyes the flash drive, pondering what he should do. Maybe he can't accept you to his company. Perhaps he won't be able to turn your voice into a message of healing to the world. Maybe he won't be able to say he discovered you, raised you to the top...

His eyes catching his computer, an idea comes to mind.

Maybe he can't help you...

But perhaps he can show you the way.

"However..." Jungkook perks up at the small glimmer of hope, as BangPD proceeds to click open a new tab, bringing up his email.

"I can recommend her to our shareholders, or perhaps another company. I would suggest Source Music or maybe KQ, but JYP has been looking for more girl trainees...perhaps I should recommend her to him instead..." BangPD starts to mutter under his breath as he pulls up many email drafts, trying to think of anyone who can make use of your talents, who can present them to the world.

Perhaps better than he can.

However, Jungkook is not so fond of the idea.

"Sir, please! I beg you to reconsider. Did you hear her? She was perfect! We need her in our company." Jungkook pleads, standing and slamming his hands on the table forcefully, the photos in the file splaying across the desk. Jungkook didn't mean to shout, and as BangPD, though a bit surprised, looks up at him silently, Jungkook swallows hard.

He's surprised at himself. That outburst came out of nowhere...and as he thinks about it, it was completely uncalled for. BangPDs suggestion was quite generous. It's realistic and kind, a great opportunity for you.

Isn't this exactly what he wanted?

Silently, he sits down, a bit conflicted and muttering an apology.

Why is it that he feels as though he's losing something? Why does it feel like some unknown possibility is being drawn farther and farther away from his grasp? He doesn't understand and it frustrates him.

Since when could he not understand his feelings? Since when could he be so confused? This isn't like him.

He's so used to being sure of himself. Knowing what to do, where to go, which path he's willing to take. And now...

He doesn't know anything.

It scares him. Reminds him of the young boy he was from so long ago. A child who was lost within the great expanse of the world. A child who fooled himself into thinking he was ready. A child who has found himself running so hard just to find a way to keep up.

He doesn't want to turn into that little boy again.

Glancing up a bit shamefully, he tries to catch BangPD's eye, but BangPD isn't even paying attention to him. Instead, his soft and calm demeanor has turned frigid as his eye rests on something on his desk. Concerned, and slightly confused, Jungkook follows his gaze...

To find him looking right at the photo of you.

A chill running down his spine, Jungkook swallows nervously. Why is he looking at you that way? Does BangPD know you? Peeking a glance towards Bang Sihyuk once more, Jungkook finds himself even more perplexed.

He's smiling.

It's a small, almost nonexistent smile, but it's there. Jungkook is surprised to see it, it's a smile he knows too well.

After all, it's the same smile he saw on BangPD's face when he auditioned for the first time in BigHit.

"Who is this?" He asks urgently, as he glances up at Jungkook, pushing the photograph towards him. His eyes are alight with a fire very rarely seen and only a few are blessed with. Overwhelmed, Jungkook takes a while to respond, clearing his throat.

"That's...that's the girl...her name is..."

"Yen." BangPD's sure and decisive tone cuts Jungkook off and he snaps his eyes to him. BangPD has drawn away, speculating the picture once more with that glint in his eye. Quickly, and with the photo still held tightly in his hand, he smiles broadly as he pulls out his phone. He begins to type in a number, one he knows by heart, with Jungkook looking wondrously on.

"Sir...?" Jungkook begins, but BangPD already presses the call button, Jungkook's voice falling on deaf ears. He stands, his swivel chair rolling away and waiting for the other line to pick up. Dumbfounded, Jungkook stays seated in his chair, hands in his lap, and suddenly feeling small in the presence of BangPD.

Why? What is it about this moment that makes him feel so...

Anxious?

Almost as though if he breathed, everything would fall apart.

A serene calm before the storm.

Is this what it feels like being present...being a part of a great change?

Is this how BangPD felt when he finally formed his dream?

Sheepishly, almost hesitantly, Jungkook looks up at Bang Sihyuk. He tries to read him as best as he can, to make sense of the giddy almost apprehensive way he paces the shallow confines of his massive office.

Like someone unwilling to wait.

Afraid to wait.

Almost as if he does...he'll lose this ray of hope offering itself to him. As though he'll be foregoing an impossible chance. As though he's struggling to reach something, something he has worked so hard to reach for the longest time.

Almost as if he were an idol himself finally achieving his goals.

"Hello?" The voice that answers his call is robotic, almost bored. It's professional and serves only one purpose. To carry out its job, its purpose. Though Jungkook can't hear it, BangPD does, loud and clear. At the sound, he smiles softly, his sparkling eyes crinkling with affection.

"Hello, Jojo. I was wondering if you could help me with something." He says, gathering the photos of you and putting them safely back in their file. Jungkook, startled, tries to grab at them and bring them back into his safe possession, but BangPD brings it out of his reach. Bewildered and slightly annoyed, Jungkook almost growls but his CEO could care less.

He's talking animatedly with whoever the hell Jojo is on the other line, and isn't paying much attention to the young maknae. Jungkook chews the inside of his cheek following BangPD with wary eyes.

"Sir..." he tries once again, standing but BangPD shakes his head at him, holding up a finger. Jungkook blinks in shock, trying to ignore the rise of indignation that begins in his chest, and takes a deep breath.

Honestly, what could be happening that he has no right to know about? He's the one who revealed you after all, why shouldn't he know what they're talking about?

"Yes, I need you to resend her application. Yes, I realize that I told you it was unnecessary, but new information has just been provided to me and I realize that I need it." As he scurries around his expansive office, BangPD seems a bit annoyed and even lets out an exasperated but patient sigh. Jungkook has never seen him this way. He's always been so steady, so level-headed. After a moment, BangPD pauses at his desk, hand clenched tightly around the flash drive.

"Jojo," he says serenely, his voice soft and yet fueled with purpose.

"It's her."

There's a moment of silence, one that causes Jungkook to freeze.

Does BangPD know you? If so...then how?

BangPD finally meets Jungkook's eyes with his own. Eyes filled with so much meaning and so much obscurity.

Just what exactly is going through his mind?

"Yes, I'm sure." Jungkook doesn't look away from BangPD, his heart mixed with overwhelming emotion and hope.

"Okay, I'll meet you there." And with that, BangPD hangs up the phone, pocketing it and looking Jungkook's way once more. Holding his breath, he doesn't dare move, afraid BangPD will walk away without so much of an explanation.

"Sir...?" He inquires and BangPD nods almost assuredly, his lips spreading and eyes crinkling into that comforting smile of his.

"Text Bangtan to meet at BigHit tomorrow morning. 7 am, sharp." He instructs before gathering his things and heading to the door. Dumbfounded, Jungkook is frozen as BangPD passes him, but as the click of the door opening sounds, it seems to wake him up and he turns around frantically calling for BangPD to wait.

He pauses, turning around to meet Jungkook's eyes with expectant ones. It takes Jungkook a minute to gather himself, but once he does, he looks at Bang Sihyuk with deep sincerity.

"Sir, why?" He inquires, those doe eyes wide with confusion and speckled with unknown hope. BangPD smiles at the sight, glad that Jungkook isn't all grown up...at least not yet.

"Thought you'd want to be the one to tell them." He says matter of factly before turning once more and heading out the door.

"Tell them what?!" Jungkook calls out hopelessly behind him, not able to see the humored smile that grows on BangPDs face.

"About the new trainee, you discovered." He responds as he walks away, leaving Jungkook in a shocked stupor.

"After all, tomorrow she's going to be the main topic of conversation."

𝔫𝔬𝔱𝔢: someone congratulate me for reaching chapter 20 ;-;

chapter 21 here

check the Infinite Stars masterlist for more chapters

check my BTS masterlist for other BTS content

check out my masterlist for other kpop fanfics

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ssa-babygirl · 3 years

Text

Out of my League [Part 6]

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Single mom!Reader

Word count: 3.3k

Summary: JJ gives you some bad news and Spencer feels like he’s only making matters worse. For both of you.

Warning(s): Angst, mentions of grief and death, allusions to relapse, swearing, mentions of drinking, this is lowkey a mess so i may have missed a couple of warnings

Author’s Note: IT’S HERE!!!! YAY!!! that’s the happiest you’re gonna be all chapter. The next one may take a bit of time and i am SORRY for that because this may or may not have a sorta cliffhanger you should just read it to find out!! also heads up there are a lot of perspective changes later on please just imagine how it would be cut together in a movie that’s how i wrote it OK ENJOY DON’T BE MAD JUST TRUST ME OK??

[Previous Part] [Series Masterlist]

Washington, D.C., 2011

(Reader POV)

You’d gone to three different funerals since moving to D.C. Three more than you would have liked, obviously, no one ever really wants to go to a funeral.

The first had been your father’s. You had Jamie and your mom, but you needed Spencer. He was out on a case and you couldn’t blame him for not being there, but he made up for it a million times over. Your dad’s death wasn’t unexpected, and while it hurt to say goodbye, it was relatively easy to move on.

The second had been for Aaron’s ex-wife, Haley. You didn’t really know her, but Aaron was your friend and you wanted to support him. That and Jamie got along very well with Jack, acting almost as an older cousin, and you know how important family is when you lose a parent.

The third and most recent funeral was the worst one: Emily’s. She was there one day, raring to go and take on the world, gone the next.

The day you found out was just terrible. JJ had called you herself to tell you. You managed to stay calm until you hung up, when you practically threw your phone onto the kitchen table and collapsed into a chair, tears pouring down your face as silent sobs wracked your body.

Jamie ran in at the sound of you crying, “Mom? What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

You shook your head, unable to speak. Jamie wordlessly wrapped his arms around your shoulders and held you as you struggled to regain your voice. When you could finally breathe and relay the news you just received, you choked out, “Aunt Emily died last night.”

Then Jamie started crying too. He curled up into your shoulder and sobbed into your shirt, soaking you to the skin, almost like he was little again. You crumbled at the sound of his whines and cries. Every part of your chest ached with the weight of your grief.

“What happened to her?” He finally whimpered.

“She has a dangerous job,” You didn’t even notice the tense you used, “A bad man was after her.”

“Well, is everyone else okay? What about Uncle Derek? What about Doc—”

“Everyone else is fine, baby, no one else was hurt. Doc’s fine.”

You sat still for God knows how long, silent, clutching each other like a lifeline, praying this was all just a dream and that you’d get a call from Emily telling you it was all some sick joke. Of course, you’d be furious with JJ, but at least there wouldn’t be a hole in your family where Emily had once been.

Your mother came over to help you cook, the same role you had taken years prior while your father was sick. She consoled you and Jamie for the next two days and then drove you to the funeral. You got out of the car and walked in silence to the church, clutching Jamie’s hand as you entered.

Aaron was the first at the door. He wasn’t one for hugs, but when he saw you, exhausted and barely standing, he pulled you and Jamie in tight. The hug was brief, but it helped, God, did it help. Dave was just behind him, and he didn’t hesitate. He ruffled Jamie’s hair and gave you a kiss on both cheeks. JJ was holding Henry in the corner, and Will gave you a weak smile. Derek and Penelope were holding one another, both shaking as they cried. Your grip on Jamie’s hand grew tighter, tighter, tighter until you saw him.

You then dropped Jamie’s hand as you ran over, arms open wide as your son followed close behind, “Spence--”

He returned your hug instantly, burying his face in your hair, “I’m sorry I didn’t call--”

You felt Jamie join the hug, but you kept your head buried in Spencer’s chest, “No, I’m sorry too, I didn’t know what to do.”

“Me neither.” He pulled away, wiping away some tears and sniffling, “I’ve just been holed up in my room reading Vonnegut all for the past three days.”

Of course, “What books?”

“Mostly Slaughterhouse-Five, it was her--”

“Her favorite,” You nodded as you spoke the last part in unison with him.

“Yeah. I read it out loud just…” His voice cracked and the words looked painful to get out, “Just in case she could hear me.”

Your heart broke imagining him wrapped in blankets, eyes rimmed red as they glazed over the worn-out pages. You ached at the thought of his voice cracking just as it did before as he read for hours and hours, begging the universe to let Emily hear him, “She did. And she loved it.”

“I just hope she didn’t realize I was crying,” he muttered, and it shattered you, “She wouldn’t want us to cry for her.”

“You’re right, but I know she’d be unbelievably offended if we didn’t cry just a little bit,” Spencer’s tearful smile was enough to make you feel slightly better. There was still hope.

Your mom took Jamie home after the wake, knowing that you needed time with the team to feel like a person again. You went home with Spencer. He shouldn’t have to be alone anymore.

“You’re really good at taking care of me,” he smiled weakly, sipping the tea you made for him.

“Yeah, I had a good teacher.” Your mother was always there when you lost someone. You had your ups and downs, but she was a good mom.

“Does it get easier? Losing someone?”

“No. It always hurts just as bad,” you sigh, “But moving on used to be a lot harder.”

“Do you still miss him?”

“Of course I do, but less than I used to.” You still talked to your dad sometimes, something you did as a kid when he wasn’t home, just telling him about your day or narrating what you were doing. Even after all these years, you still found yourself explaining to no one that you had to run to store and buy bread to make Jamie’s lunch.

“I see little pieces of him everywhere I go. Jamie has the same exact smile. His favorite book when he was little was the same one my dad read to me. No one ever really leaves. Family, friends, they stick with us.”

“I’ve never lost a friend before. When Gideon left, I knew he was out there. Same with Elle. I could have Garcia find them right now and call them up to see how they’re doing, but Emily--” his voice cracked too much for him to want to continue, so he dropped it altogether.

“Did I ever tell you about my college roommate, Juliet?”

“No.”

“We were best friends. We did everything together: Movie nights, parties, all that. The night of our last final senior year, we decided to go clubbing to celebrate.”

You told him the whole story. The drinking, the dancing, the guy. You don’t remember his name, but you remember trusting him. He was sweet and Juliet liked him, so when she came to you at the bar after dancing with him telling you she was going home with him, you let her.

“I was happy for her! She had just gone through a breakup a few months before, so it was nice to see her getting some,” you let out a weak laugh, “I remember the last thing I said before she left was ‘Okay, have fun, call me in the morning, we’ll get brunch. I love you.’” Spencer winced, almost as if he knew where this story was going. Given his line of work, he was expecting far worse, but he at least knew that we didn’t get lunch the next morning.

“I went home a little bit later, I got bored, so I got a taxi home.”

You close your eyes and sigh deeply, “I’m in the back seat when I get a call. It was Juliet’s phone.”

“She wasn’t calling you, was she?”

“No, it was the police. Juliet didn’t have a good relationship with her parents, so I was her emergency contact.” You had to plan the funeral, invite her parents, look them in the eye and lie to them that Juliet wanted to make amends with them. The horrified guilt on their faces almost made it worth it, “The car she was in got t-boned when the guy ran a red light. He wasn’t as sober as we thought he was.”

“She didn’t make it.” Spencer guessed for you.

“No. She was dead before they got her out of the ambulance.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. If Juliet hadn’t…” You still couldn’t bring yourself to actually say it, “I wouldn’t have moved home, I wouldn’t have gotten back with Kyle, and I wouldn’t have Jamie. I don’t wanna tell you that something good will come out of this, because that’s a horrible thing to hear, but looking for an opportunity to find something good can’t hurt.”

“I can’t just look for something new when all i can think about is how I should have been able to help!”

“You really think I didn’t blame myself for what happened to Juliet? That every night for years after I thought I could have done something differently, and sure, I could have, but it’s not like I knew what was going to happen, and I couldn’t keep blaming myself.”

“It’s not the same, you don’t get it.” His fingers ghosted over old scars on his forearms, scars you didn’t want to think about where they came from.

“I do, Spencer. Emily was my friend too. And because she was my friend, I know she would never let you blame yourself for it. She knows you can’t save them all. All we can do is save ourselves,” you took his hand in yours, he still tensed up, “‘cuz that’s all the people we lose want us to do.”

He turned his head up from the floor and met your eyes. Once you gazed into those deep hazel irises, the tension in his hand melted away. His shoulders slumped, and he let out a deep breath, squeezing your hand like a lifeline, “Thank you.”

“Of course, Spence.”

“I’m sorry for snapping.”

“You apologize too much.” You had nearly forgotten exactly what he said to you that night in the hotel bar in Vegas all those years ago, but clearly, he hadn’t, he couldn’t, and he didn’t, because after a few moments of staring into your eyes and slowly drifting towards you in peaceful silence, he closed the gap between you both and kissed you.

Spencer Reid was kissing you.

This was happening.

Nearly two decades of being friends--

Years of being totally, ridiculously, and most importantly, cluelessly in love with each other, Spencer Reid was kissing you. You were almost so overjoyed at that moment as you started to kiss him back that you nearly forgot that your friend was dead and you were supposed to be comforting him. This wasn’t comfort, this was what Kyle did to you all those years ago.

You broke the kiss before he did something he’d regret, “Spence…”

“Oh my god,” he removed his hands from your face and shifted his entire body away from you, “I’m so sorry.”

“No, don’t-”

“Oh my god, I’m an idiot!” He ran his fingers through his hair, pulling at the strands as his hands landed at the back of his neck, forcing his head to stare in his lap.

“No you’re not! Hey. Genius. Look at me.” He didn’t. “You’re not. You’re just in a bad place, I get it.”

“No you don’t. This time, you don’t.”

“What do you m—”

“Look, I don’t wanna kick you out but I really think you should leave.”

“Oh… yeah… sure… okay.” You slowly rose from the couch on weak knees. Whether it was from adrenaline or anxiety, you couldn’t tell.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be! Just… please, take care of yourself?” You glance around the room for your belongings, “Shower, eat something, get some rest, please. And call me if you need anything--”

“Y/N, please, just go.”

You felt tears sting your eyes as you reached for the doorknob. You turned your head just enough to look over your shoulder to say, “Goodnight, pretty boy,” before you left. You closed the door behind you and leaned against it, breathing heavily.

(Spencer’s POV)

Why was I kicking her out?

Why was I telling her to leave?

Why was I pushing her away?

Why did I kiss her?

Why did she push me away?

Why did she call me “pretty boy?” She never--

The pieces fell into place as they often do, all at once with the force of a car slamming into a pole at fifty miles per hour.

“Goodnight, Pretty Boy.”

“Goodnight, Princess.”

She remembered that night.

She remembered that night when I drove her home and put her to bed and--

And I told her I had a crush on her in high school.

And I almost said I loved her.

And I almost kissed her then.

God, I wish I had. Any time would have been better than now.

(Reader POV)

You didn’t know you could miss someone so much while they were behind just one door. You could’ve turned around right then and knocked and waited for him to be ready to talk about what just happened. About him kissing you. About you kissing back. About you stopping him. About that drunken night when you let it slip how pretty you thought he was.

You should’ve just waited.

But you couldn’t stand to be that close to him while he wanted to be as far away from you as possible.

So you ran.

You practically sprinted down the stairs and out of his building as quickly as you could, getting in your car and pulling out of the parking lot and getting the fuck away before you hurt anyone else, including yourself.

(Spencer POV)

I couldn’t just let her walk out like that.

I had to say something.

I had to go after her.

I had to get her back.

I needed her.

But when I opened the door, it was like she had never been there.

I leaned on my door frame staring at the staircase down the hall, wishing I had the energy to run after her, to catch her before she reached her car, to stop her from driving away, to tell her I was sorry, to beg her to please, please, come back upstairs and talk to me, but my feet were fixed to the floor and my legs were weak. I just closed my door with my back and slid down to the floor, unable to bring myself to cry anymore. I sat there for god knows how long until I found the energy to crawl over to the coffee table where I had left my phone, picked it up, and dialed a number.

(Reader POV)

You jumped slightly at the sound of your phone ringing, you shuffled through your bag in the passenger seat, desperately trying to find it before the light turned green. Some foolish part of your mind told you it was Spencer, you wished it was Spencer, you wanted nothing more than to turn your car around and talk it all out with him, tell him you were sorry, that you loved him, that you needed him, but your heart sank when you looked at the screen and saw the number.

It was a just fucking spam call.

You threw your phone back in your seat and beat your fists against the steering wheel, groaning and wishing the fucking light would just turn green already. When it finally did, you slammed on the gas a bit too quickly, sending the car jolting forward. You barely stopped the entire rest of the ride home, the universe must have sensed your impatience. As you finally pulled into your driveway, your skull felt as though it was packed with cotton, your tear tracks drying on your cheeks.

You raced up the steps to your door, fussing with the keys and trying to unlock the door as quickly and quietly as possible. You inevitably made noise as you entered, prompting a light to turn on in the living room. Your mom rose from the couch she had been sleeping on, her face dropping from annoyed to concerned.

“Toots, you’re home already? I thought you wouldn’t be back until morning.”

You had thought that you were fresh out of tears, but apparently, you still had more to spare, seeing as you broke the second the words left her mouth.

“Oh my, what happened?” She raced towards you, wrapping you in a hug, “Is Spencer okay? Did something happen?”

As confused and sad as you were, you couldn’t stop the smile that had suddenly appeared on your face, “He kissed me.”

“He what?” She broke the hug, holding your face in her hands and wiping tears off of your cheeks, “Then honey, why on Earth are you here?”

(Spencer POV)

“You kicked her out? Why?”

“Why do you think I called you, Jennifer? What do I do? How do I fix this?”

“Well, what exactly happened?”

“I freaked out, she came over, we talked, I,” I took a deep breath and braced myself for her reaction, “I kissed her—”

She almost choked on her coffee, “And you didn’t lead with that? Don’t you think that’s a little important?”

“I was trying to avoid reliving it for as long as possible.”

“You’ve wanted this since high school, why wouldn’t you want to relive it?”

“She pulled away.” There was no anger or sadness behind my words. I don’t sound hurt as I recount the scene, “She took my hand, I kissed her, she stopped me.”

JJ’s hand brushed over my shoulder and I flinched away slightly.

“I apologized immediately, she wasn't mad or anything, I just…” I trailed off, unable to admit that I just couldn’t look at her anymore. I never thought I’d get tired of seeing her face, but I had needed her to leave. When she pulled away, all I could think about was the sound of Alexa Lisbon sneering at me as Kyle and his goons tied me to that goal post.

“She wanted to help me, and I know she did, but…”

“She couldn’t.” JJ finished my sentence.

I shook my head, “Not this time.”

“But now you want her to come back?”

“And I don’t know how to tell her that because I fucked up.”

“What did she say after you told her to leave? Did she just go?”

(Reader POV)

“I told him not to feel bad and to take care of himself.” You hadn’t had time to tell him how much you wanted to kiss him but neither one of you was in the right state of mind for that.

“Right, yeah, and did he say anything else?”

You winced at the memory of how his voice sounded. “He kept telling me to leave, so I just went for the door and said--”

(Spencer POV)

“‘Goodnight, pretty boy,’” I grumbled, “That was the last thing she said.”

“Okay?”

“She never calls me Pretty Boy.” I told her the whole story. When I was done, her eyebrows were drawn together and lips were pressed together in a thin, worried line uttering, “Spence…”

“What?”

She sighed, saying nothing and smirking slightly to herself, but saying nothing.

“Jennifer.”

“She loves you, genius.”

“Then why’d she leave?”

“Because you told her to. And…” she hesitated, almost scared to say anything else. I was scared to hear it. JJ took my coffee away and dumped it down the sink, a silent indicator that I had enough and needed to go to bed.

She turned back to me and leaned over the table again, making sure I'd look her in the eyes, “She’d do anything for you.”

I just stared down on my hands on the table, unable to say another word, unable to defend myself, unable to fight anymore.

Because I knew she was right.

Taglist~~~

Lmk if you wanna be added! Some names didn’t work so if you don’t see your name as a tag just dm me a url and I’ll try to fix it

@lawnmoa @ellvswriting @baby-pogue @purelyprentiss @confused-and-really-hungry @thatsonezesty13 @deni-gonzalez @irjuejjsaa @randomfandomshitposts @bisoner @moonstarrnghtsky @smurfflynn @eldahae @t0xicllama @undeniablyyou @staplernpaper @theweirdobella @sammypotato67 @k-k0129 @helloniallslovelies @dazzlingnights @uhuhuh @booksarekindaneat @crimeshowtrash @carlgrxmes @collectiveuniverses @annesauriol

#spencer reid #Criminal Minds Reid #spencer reid smut #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x reader #Criminal Minds #Criminal Minds Fanfiction #criminal minds imagine #CM #cm fan fiction #cm imagine #mgg fanfiction #mgg imagine #mgg x reader #mgg smut #mgg #mgg angst #spencer reid angst

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davidmann95 · 3 years

Note

So you've talked a lot about Darkseid, but what about the other New Gods?

SO THIS HAS BEEN IN MY INBOX FOR ALMOST AS LONG AS THIS BLOG’S BEEN AROUND AND I JUST FINALLY FINISHED FOURTH WORLD

Well that sure was something. My musings on some major players that I either have substantial thoughts on, or where I especially think the majority consensus/interpretation has subsequently gotten them wrong (a state Kirby is well aware of, because a HUGE part of “Even Gods Can Die!” is him being frustrated at subsequent handlings of the characters even by 1984 mucking things up):

Orion: Perhaps the most hard-done by as a result of Kirby never being able to fully finish Fourth World as he had imagined it, as his character arc ends on a cliffhanger for a decade and is forced into a rapid completion later. When he emerges, while a warrior born he’s also every bit the classical, magnificent hero you expect to see in a superhero comic to try and overshadow his inner demons, while by the end of New Gods he’s embraced not only his true face (the OTHER face, as his father would put it) in the fight against Apokolips but the murderous, sadistic rage that is his birthright, reveling in inflicting agony and very much the berserker others have since portrayed him as. Surely as much a product of his trauma from a childhood on Apokolips (a detail frequently glossed over) and a sense of being unwanted as anything genetic, it’s ultimately unconditional love for him as he truly is in Hunger Dogs that lets him overcome his fear that he can’t be anything but a monstrous tool in service of better people than himself, and embrace ‘the tomorrow overture’. Even his anger has its righteous if tragic place as a primal force of upheaval: “It defies time! It stands firm against the hammers of change! It mocks life and defies death!” I won’t get to it for awhile yet, but very curious what Simonson does with him.

Lightray: Rules! He’s the closest the New Gods have to a traditional superhero, and it’s in that capacity that while a lousy warrior next to Orion (Kalibak thinks little of his attempt at fighting him, mockingly deeming him a “callow little killer”), his strength is in transformation: he makes himself light, he turns a tormented weapon into the glory boat, a machine armed against the New Gods into a weapon against Darkseid, Orion from a man alone into a friend. He’s not a warrior, but he’s the one who makes a better world worth waging war for and who might one day make such war unnecessary. Also he and Orion have definitely fucked.

Mister Miracle: Not WILDLY off the mark since, but it’s interesting that as I expect a result of JLI he’s been written so often since as an everymanish, relatable, bordering-on-comedic figure, when under Kirby he was very much the archetypal good guy. One often committed to freeing others as he had been freed himself, in the likes of Ted Brown and Shilo Norman, an avenue I’m surprised hasn’t been explored more often from what I’ve seen. Also worth noting: Darkseid declared the moment he got his hands on the kid that Granny would be twice as hard on him as others, and that it would eventually drive the boy away and let the war resume. Which not only indicates Darkseid’s understanding of the subtlety needed in control, but would seem to take Scott’s rebellion out of his own hands…except that at the moment of his escape Darkseid still offered him a choice, implored the boy to allow him to “complete the destruction of Scott Free – so you may live with the majesty that is the power of DARKSEID!” And instead he turned his back on his god and chose to be what he is.

Barda: Shockingly, great as she’s been since, her background is often severely mischaracterized. The shorthand is “love saved her and turned her from a servant of evil to a champion of good!”, but that’s…while not entirely wrong, a bad way of presenting it. When she leaves Apokolips initially, even after she starts hanging out with Scott Free and Oberson after having helped the former escape years earlier, she still believes in Darkseid. She fights and hates her former allies not because she’s turned against his vision of the universe (this is in fact a major aspect often overlooked - under Kirby Darkseid’s agents don’t simply fear him, they sincerely believe in him and his vision of how the universe works) but because she sees them as loathsome, brutish executors of his grand design. In short, she doesn’t think it’s the system that’s the problem, but a bunch of bad apples. It’s her experience with freedom and simple pleasures and life on Earth, her lingering guilt over the death of her friend Auralie as eventually manifested in her protection and training of Shiloh Norman, and yes, her eventual realized love for Scott, that brings her around to realizing she truly desires a life beyond what Darkseid can offer.

Forever People: Okay I actually don’t have a ton to say about the Forever People, though I do think they’re underrated and underutilized. Naive and in over their heads as the frequently are they’re also the best of their peers, believing in freedom and transformation and the potential of those around them to become better - their defining moment for me is when they reassure Sonny Sumo that having the power of the Anti-Life Equation doesn’t make him a monster. “Where we come from the Anti-Life Equation is one of many others–almost as awesome!! But they merely exist!! It’s we who live!!”

Metron: The big figure I haven’t really been able to crack. Machinery as not necessarily cold mechanization but extensions of ourselves and our souls, and able to nourish them in turn, is a big aspect of Fourth World, but Metron as the embodiment of mechanization and knowledge feels like not just an outsider as he’s framed but one who never quite became whatever Kirby had in mind for him, making his crucial role at the end of Hunger Dogs a bit of a non-sequitur for me. I’d be curious to hear what other people think.

Desaad: God Desaad’s been made boring. Not that he isn’t fairly one-dimensional under Kirby too, but his craft and awful glee as the god of torture isn’t just in strapping people to tables and poking them with unpleasant tools, it’s in manipulating their emotions and agonies to a fever pitch - he should be such an unsettling figure, and instead he’s a simpering helpless toady.

Highfather: Not a perfect figure, given how he’s framed with the likes of Fastbak, and the Forever People, and the Pact, willing to deploy fear as a weapon in the name of peace as Darkseid will use chaos in the name of a larger order, but always trying - as with Darkseid, an imperfect vessel of what he represents, but capable of growth and realization as a leader.

Steppenwolf/Heggra: Essential to understanding The Pact, they’re the old ways of the world and war, petty despots and warrior-kings, supplanted by fascism in Darkseid.

Darkseid: So I’ve discussed Darkseid before in terms of his broad use and ideas, but the very specific ways Kirby presented him have their own dimensions. In the world of superheroes he’s larger-than-life and often such in here too, but in rare moments, and by the end entirely as all artifice is stripped away? Kirby’s Darkseid is a profoundly human figure. He recognizes the irony that the Forever People believe in letting all be who they are, for that very need to fulfill himself is why he must pursue conquest (“And of course - that’s the pity of it!”). While he thinks to himself “Oh, how heroes LOVE to flaunt their nobility in the face of death! Yet THEY know better than most that war is but the COLD game of the BUTCHER!” he too believes in “Boldness! Risk! The raw meat of existence!” even as he consigns himself to the role of puppetmaster rather than warrior. He does or so he tells himself “no more than what HAS to be done!!” rather than indulging in cruelty for its own sake. He dresses up in ridiculous costumes for his schemes, he gets sarcastic, he recognizes honor and respects worthy foes, he feels love, he craves the laughter of a friend, he fears the obsolesce of his preferred way of doing things, he tells himself that should he achieve omnipotence others will find “eternal shelter”. He’s a person, one capable of a range of emotions, but he is the TIGER FORCE AT THE CORE OF ALL THINGS regardless…not because he is a mythic unstoppable force, but because every day he rises and believes in himself over all others, because there is a black hole within him that he can only hope dominance might fill regardless of what pain he finds in the process. But as Mister Miracle’s battle with the Lump foretold, when left truly alone over a world that is himself he will be only within “a self-made prison”, reflections of his own fear and agony.

#New Gods #Fourth World #Kirby #Orion #Lightray #Mister Miracle #Barda #Forever People #Metron #Desaad #Highfather #Darkseid #Opinion

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chat-noir-always-here · 3 years

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“Hey Arnold!” and “Miraculous!” parallels

Ever have an idea for a post that you take forever to get around to because 2020 is

actively

trying

to kill you?!

Welp, that’s me. I mean, uh, this is that post.

Long post is long and I don’t like cuts cuz I’ve lost a few posts in the past using them. Please filter the tag “long post” I use it for walls of text like these.

So there’s this show from my childhood called Hey Arnold!

Having been on air before I had cable (I and my unsupervised brothers and sisters spent our childhood watching Jerry Springer and Maury because there was literally nothing else on our cheap little TV. How hilarious is that?) I didn’t really have much of an experience with Hey Arnold! aside from brief little glances at it when i visited a friends home or the rare occasion where they showed cartoons at school. By the time I got satellite, the show was no longer on the air save for some late night reruns and the Christmas special which aired in December along with other Nickelodeon Christmas episodes (THE best Christmas episode EVER btw).

Really I couldn’t remember much about it until hearing about the Jungle Movie finally getting a release date (a total flop but at least its no cliff hanger) and decided to re-watch the entire series in preparation for said movie.

By which point I had discovered another show—Miraculous.

At first glance the two shows have absolutely nothing in common. Miraculous being a French-born mahou shoujo-esque CGI superhero TV series about a couple of middle schoolers who regularly battle a walking peppermint-frappucino-looking psychopath. Hey Arnold! being a more realistic children’s sitcom about a young football-headed boy who deals out humanitarian aid in the form of advice and simple good deeds to his neighbors, classmates and friends.

In terms of setting, logic, and animation the two series are as different as night and day.

So imagine my pleasant surprise to discover a whole post’s worth of parallels shared between the two shows???

And here they are in no particular order:

1)Arnold’s Parents/Adrien’s mom

Prior to the start of Miraculous, Emilie Agreste disappeared under mysterious circumstances leaving her family behind. Later on it was revealed that she was in fact sleeping (dead?) in a glass coffin beneath the Agreste mansion--unbeknownst to Adrien, or anyone else in Paris save for Gabriel and Nathalie.

In a similar fashion, Arnold’s parents, Miles and Stella, also disappeared prior to the start of Hey Arnold! and like Emilie were always referred to as “missing” rather than “dead.”

The Jungle Movie later revealed Miles and Stella weren’t dead, but like Emilie appears to be doing in her coffin, they were sleeping. Having caught a bout of sleeping sickness (apparently they do not need to be hooked up to IVs or other medical devices while in a comatose state cuz fuck logic) they simply needed their orphaned son to come and cure them with the help of the magical golden heart Helga provided him with.

Perhaps Mari holds the key to waking Emilie? That would be nice to see.

Not the miraculous of course--but some other key.

Although personally I’m hoping for a hardcore, devastating ending like Emilie dying, Gabriel going to prison where he belongs, and Adrien leaving the country for a bit until the second Hawk Moth shows up because I just like devastating cliffhangers and angst and being in utter turmoil over fictional people. But that’s just me.

2) Their best friends are dating

Smol parallel here: Arnold’s best friend Gerald and Helga’s Best friend Phoebe wind up together in The Jungle Movie after being imprisoned together by Lasombra. Similar to how Nino and Alya ended up together after being imprisoned by Ladybug (for their protection, of course).

3) The Bag of Money Episode/ The Ladybug episode

OOh boy both of these episodes make me rage.

Some context about the Bag of Money episode: Arnold and his friends Gerald and Sid find a random bag of money containing almost $4000. Sid is ecstatic and wants to split the money evenly between the three boys, but Arnold worries it could just be lost and convinces them to let him, Arnold, take the money to the police station. On the way he accidentally switches the bag with another one that is identical and contains a bunch of useless junk, and when he tries to explain what happened to his friends they don’t believe him because their bag of money was accidentally taken by an “old lady with pink hair and a peg leg.”

Arnold’s a good boy and he’s telling the truth--but the truth sounds crazy, even to my ears. Sid accuses Arnold of stealing the money and spreads lies to their classmates, whom Arnold has spent the ENTIRE SERIES helping in some form or fashion. Despite everything he’s done for them though, the vast majority of the class come to believe Arnold is a thief. Even Gerald, Arnold’s closest friend, nearly believes Sid over Arnold but eventually comes to Arnold’s defense. The other kids (save for Helga who doesn’t really make an appearance this episode) gang up on Arnold, but thankfully the old lady with pink hair and a peg leg shows up with an officer and together they explain the bag of money is now at the lost and found where it will remain and if gone unclaimed will be returned to Arnold, Gerald and Sid.

Pretty much everything is resolved and things return to normal between the kids.

But I hate this episode. I hate this episode so, so much. Arnold has spent the entire series helping these people out in some form or fashion. Literally thats the entire show. And after everything he’s done for them they’re so. Quick. To. Turn. On. Him.

Sound familiar???

4) Hidden Personality vs. Surface Personality

I do not refer to the cruddy “true selves” thing half the Miraculous fandom believes in. Depending on one’s individual circumstances, environment and how comfortable they are, said person’s behavior can fluctuate or even do a complete 180. This can be kinda frustrating when dealing on one’s own--”Who am I anyway? Is that me or is this me???”

It’s all you, fam.

Arnold and Helga are themselves too, no matter what metaphorical/actual mask they put on. There’s the side that everyone sees and then there’s the side almost no one sees. The hidden personality isn’t hidden due to a lack of trust, necessarily, but rather it is the result of retreating to their respective “shells”--ones which both Arnold and Helga were kinda punched, kicked, and shoved into.

Helga’s surface personality: Class bully, puts up a tough front, constantly torments Arnold because she can’t stand him and his niceness

Helga’s hidden personality: Poetic, abused and isolated, is in love with Arnold to the point of being obsessed with him and bullies him via surface personality in order to hide that fact

Of course Adrien is no bully--his reasons for not being the “cunning, funny, ultra-charming Chat Noir” 24/7 DOES have a lot to do with his toxic household, his dad, and the overwhelming expectations which are constantly smothering him as Adrien.

Adrien is a bug under a magnifying glass (or so he feels)

Chat Noir is a chance for a freedom.

Adrien’s surface personality was molded by his dad.

Helga’s is the result of her entire family. Her father is brash and loud, her mother is a confirmed alcoholic, her sister is a gifted prodigy, well-rounded and spends most of the series at university or elsewhere. Although her sister, Olga, has been shown to genuinely care for Helga, Olga is kinda the reason their parents neglect Helga. With their first daughter being the genius and prodigy she is, Helga’s parents poured all of their pride and affection and parental devotion onto her. Meanwhile Helga had to walk to pre-school alone. At four years old. In the rain. Not for the last time.

Which leads me to the next parallel.

5) Umbrella in the Rain

squeals in delight over this parallel<3<3<3

If you’ve never seen Hey Arnold! do yourselves a favor and watch this short little clip over how Helga and Arnold first met. If you have seen it, watch it anyway because it is the most adorable clip in the entire show.

youtube

Dr. Bliss: “So nobody’s ever noticed you?”

Helga: “...There was someone.”

The soft way Helga confesses that--you can actually hear how grateful she is to have such a tender memory from such a painful time.

In a similar manner, Adrien offered his umbrella to Marinette. Of course Adrien did it because Mari had to walk home in the rain and Arnold did it as a simple gesture of kindness (seeing as they were already at the school)--one of the many kind acts he displays throughout the series.

But just like Adrien needed unconditional love coming from somewhere, so did Helga. They were both denied this one common necessity which everyone else around them had. It’s not a lot to ask for, and they should’ve already had it coming from their families--but they didn’t.

And then, one rainy day, there it was--the unconditional love they needed.

6) Clinginess

What happens when you take someone, specifically a love-starved abused child from an unstable home environment--deprived of the one thing most crucial to their mental well-being--and miraculously provide them with that very necessity?

Clinginess.

I can’t really think of the correct word to describe this. “Clinginess” is pretty close to what I’m trying to describe, if not on point, so let’s go with that.

What I mean is Helga and Adrien both need Arnold and Ladybug respectively. That’s not a bad thing--it’s okay to need somebody else. What’s bad is hinging your entire being on this one connection. For if either kiddo were to be left behind they wouldn’t handle it very well.

It can’t really be helped with either Helga or Adrien. They didn’t really have the option to learn certain things and went deprived of unconditional love for such a long time. They’re kids--nine and fourteen/fifteen respectively. They’re not perfect and they’re traumatized for life. Being denied love from your family--the very people designed to love you--would do that to a person. Naturally they would cling to the first people to show up and provide them with the love they needed.

The Hey Arnold! wiki says this about Helga and Arnold’s relationship

Due to her unstable family upbringing where both her mother and father constantly neglect [Helga] and shower all of their attention onto Olga, leaving her deprived of the love and attention she needed growing up. On her way to preschool, Arnold helped her by keeping the rain off her with an umbrella and even complimented her on her hairbow. He even later gave her crackers during their snack time. Arnold's kindness and being the first person to notice her quickly caused Helga to transfer all of her love and attention to Arnold.

Of course Adrien’s tunnel vision isn’t quite as bad as Helga’s.

He treats his friends better.

He does love his father--

Even though his father is THE.

WORST.

PARENT.

EVER!!!

--because he’s Adrien and he’s just too precious a cinnamon roll and that’s still his dad even if the man does belong behind bars.

7) Unhealthy Obsession

I--

I...

Ugh. I am not going to delve too far into this. You’re just going to have to take my word for it. Helga’s creepy stalker behavior is a thousand times worse than Marinette’s. That pic up there of Helga hiding out in Arnold’s room watching him is pretty decent evidence to back up my argument, but it’s hardly the only example or even the worst incident.

Honestly I’m amazed at what Nicktoons were able to get away with in the late nineties/early 2000s.

But yes, Helga’s obsession with Arnold is rather unhealthy in the most extreme moments leading her to display behavior which is more often than not disturbing and concerning.

The Hey Arnold! wiki has this to say about Helga’s obsession with Arnold

Helga is possessive of her love for Arnold and thinks non-stop about him to the point of obsession. This is evidenced throughout the series by the many shrines and poems she makes of Arnold and of her frequent dramatic soliloquies about her love for Arnold.

Again--Mari isn’t as bad as all that. She’s a sweet girl with many healthy relationships in her life. She has ambition, creativity, and drive. But yeah she can be rather possessive of Adrien too, and that needs to stop. Like right now. Adrien doesn’t need another girl being possessive of him and thinking he’s perfect--he needs someone who acknowledges him as a flawed person and loves him despite that.

As for Helga and Arnold--show creator Craig Bartlett confirmed they are “made for each other” and wind up married with three kids, so I’m guessing Helga grew out of some of these bad habits? Or at least I hope so...

8) Helper/Humanitarian tendencies

As mentioned before, the plot of Hey Arnold! is more or less about Arnold helping people. As stated by Gerald in The Jungle Movie, “He’s a humanitarian! Like his parents!” Of course not every episode is about Arnold helping people. There are episodes devoted to supporting characters and they’re just as enjoyable and satisfying.

But as he is the titular character he spends a lot of time in the spotlight.

Remember that “best christmas special EVER” episode I mentioned before?

The reason it’s the best special, in my less than humble opinion, is due to a few things.

The special is not about Santa Claws. In fact, I don’t think he’s even mentioned, let alone shown and treated like an actual living character.

The focus on the entire episode is again on Arnold helping someone, but he doesn’t succeed. Not really.

The one who succeeded in helping someone was Helga, who accomplished the goal Arnold had set out to do.

The episode deals with some rather dark subject matter and is actually quite heartwarming as the “perfect present” Arnold was trying to provide someone with wasn’t something you can buy in the store

It’s also one of the episodes where Helga’s love for Arnold leaves her to do good and as her love for him is a secret, she expects nothing in return. She’s just happy to help him.

Kinda similar to Mari who is, as Adrien puts it in Mayura, “Our every day Ladybug.” Her kindness and devotion to helping others is what drives her as Ladybug and Marinette. It’s what brought Ivan and Mylene together. Is the reason Nathaniel and Mark now have a comic book together. And at the end of the day, that’s the reason for her strange behavior around Adrien--she wants to help him. Even if it’s just as a “good friend.”

9) There are two main characters

Although Hey Arnold! is technically a show about Arnold, one could argue it is just as much Helga’s story.

Similarly, Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Cat Noir is named thusly in order to convey the fact that Adrien is just as much a main character as Marinette is.

Although I must say Hey Arnold! did a much better job of giving it’s co-character their dues. GIVE. ME. MORE. CHAT NOIR. FOCUSED. EPISODES. DAMMIT.

But, yes, in terms of screen time, Helga gets about as much as Arnold does. Her story and struggles were given just as much importance as Arnold’s and many people have even come to believe that the show is really about Helga. I’d say its about both of them.

10) Constantly bumping into each other

Granted this happens between Arnold and Helga more often than it does to the love square dorks.

But yes the two people meant to be together keep knocking into each other in their respective universes.

I forget who, but I remember reading that someone a while back theorized that this was the universe’s way of trying to push Arnold and Helga together. Kinda like the “Now kiss!” meme

Perhaps it’s the same for Adrien and Marinette?

;)

#long post #adriennette #shortaki #hey arnold #miraculous ladybug #love square #nicktoons #zag toons

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page-doctor-bekker · 3 years

Text

Rooftop - Part 1 (transfemme!sarah)

(A/N) hey! i have a long ass one-shot and i kinda of want to make it lead off a lil bit of a cliffhanger so i've got part one here for you. this takes place a few days after this oneshot

Sarah grabs her white coat from her desk chair, and stares at the embroidery.

Sarah Reese, MD

Dept. of Psychiatry

She sighed, before retreating to the bathroom to tuck and dress. Even after her orchiectomy, tucking was still mildly uncomfortable. At least she had graduated from using tape to using a gaff, which was much more comfortable and easy to take off at the end of the day.

Once she was dressed, clad in a pair of relaxed, navy blue dress pants and a pale pink button-down shirt speckled with cartoonish images of various types of fruit, she grabbed her lab coat, and shrugged it on.

There was a mirror on her closet door, and she caught a glimpse of herself in it. She gulped, and stood in front of it, staring herself down.

She pressed the pad of her thumb against her jawline, and dragged her skin around in a feeble attempt to soften it. Her jawline led her to her chin, the cleft in it causing a pang of dysphoria in her stomach. She puckered her lips, trying to make them look fuller, but that only exacerbated her chin. She sighed, and gave up. It is what it is.

She let her hand fall to her side, and fiddled with her coat. After a moment, she scowled at herself.

“Move on, Sarah, just move on,” She mumbled to herself, taking a hair tie from her wrist and putting her hair up into an unintentionally neat bun. No matter how hard she tried, she could never succeed in creating a messy one. That required more finesse than she had.

She smiled at herself, although her smile didn’t quite reach her eyes.

“I am a good doctor,” She affirmed, “A good doctor who made a mistake,” She quoted Dr. Charles, the thought of him filling her with calm.

“And Ava,” She gave herself a confident look, “Is not worth my time. I don’t even like her anyways.”

She paused for a moment.

“Because I don’t like women,” She shrugged, “And someday I will meet a man who loves me for me.”

“Don’t give me that look,” She snapped at herself, “Just because I’m not cis doesn’t mean I can’t be straight.”

“And I deserve better than Ava anyways,” She opened her mouth, then closed it, like a fish. She opened it again, “Someone better who is a man. I will find the man for me. The only reason I think I like Ava is because I haven’t found the man for me. That’s okay. I’m only 26. Some people don’t get married until after 30.”

“I am a confident woman,” She declared, “A confident straight woman.”

She started to walk away, but she looked back.

“And i’m a good doctor,” She said, sharply.

She saw Dr. Charles outside the hospital, and he waved her over. She ran to catch up with him, out of breath by the time she arrived, “Hello Dr. Charles,” She tried to catch her breath, thinking about how insane she must look right now.

“Dr. Reese,” He greeted with a nod, “How was your break?”

“It was very good,” She announced, “I feel like I am making progress with myself. I am a good doctor! What happened was a mistake, and it doesn’t define my clinical skills.”

He looked at her skeptically, “Good.. Good,” He gave a smile, “In my experience, all you really need after a mistake is to treat a few patients successfully, so I’ve volunteered you to be in the ED this morning.”

Her heart sank.

“And then, when Maggie dismisses you for lunch, come see me in my office and we can chat about what you did differently today,”

Sarah nodded, stuffing her hands in her pockets so she could fidget discreetly. If he knew I’m anxious, he might send me home again.

He gave her a pat on the back, “Holler if you need me. I’m just a page away.”

He left her at the doors to the ED and she took a deep breath, and smiled at the big red letters.

“Help! I need help!”

Go time.

She ran towards the direction of the voice, a large man in his mid-40s who was carrying a young girl, maybe 5 years old, in a bridal-style position.

“Hi, I’m Dr. Reese, I’m going to help you, tell me about your daughter,” She prompted, pressing two fingers onto the girl’s neck while awkwardly walking with the man.

“Ah, she’s my niece, Miranda Maxwell,” He corrected, “Uh, she’s almost six, she’s got a.. uh… Heart condition? She was born with it. Her mom said she sees a doctor here uh… Dr… Dr… Beaker? Brekker?”

“Dr. Bekker?” The name made Sarah’s heart flutter.

“Yes, that’s the one. Anyways, she collapsed today, and says her chest hurts, and she’s a bit blue around her lips and nails.”

Dr. Reese took Miranda from the man, and took a light jog into the emergency department. The man took off after her. Upon entering the ED, she called to Maggie, “Five years old with a congenital heart condition, chest pain, trouble breathing, rapid pulse, blue lips and nails, where do you want me?”

“Treatment five.”

Dr. Reese set the girl down on the bed and Monique rushed to start an IV, “Let’s get her on the monitors, and get her changed into a gown,” Sarah instructed, “And Maggie?”

Maggie looked up from where she was conversing with the girl’s uncle.

“Page Dr. Bekker, Miranda is a patient of her’s, and get Miranda’s parents here as soon as possible,” She looked back towards the girl, “Miranda? My name is Dr. Reese, I’m going to help you feel better.”

“It hurts,” She cried, clutching at her chest.

“I know, I know, we’re going to figure out why,” Dr. Reese cooed softly, before taking on a more serious tone with Monique, “Get a CBC, BMP, urinalysis, 12-lead EKG, and get her on oxygen until Dr. Bekk-”

“Talking about me?” Dr. Bekker startled Dr. Reese, “My ears were itching. Miranda, did you miss me? Is that why you’re back so soon?”

Miranda giggled through the pain at that, and Dr. Bekker smiled. Dr. Reese almost allowed herself to feel endeared by the rare display of kindness, but quickly regained composure.

“Maggie, where are we with her parents?”

“They’re on their way, but they said to do whatever it takes to help Miranda,” Maggie called back, and Dr. Bekker nodded.

“What seems to be the problem, Mindy?” Dr. Bekker pulled her stethoscope off of her neck, and pressed the drum to Miranda’s chest, and listened thoughtfully.

“I felt weird and then fell down. My chest hurts real bad,” She complained, “I can’t breathe.”

“Let’s get an echocardiogram,” Dr. Bekker noted to Monique, who nodded, and started to set up the ultrasound machine, “Does it hurt more when you breathe?”

Miranda shook her head.

She’s so gentle with her.

Sarah smiled.

“Okay, I’m going to look at your heart with this special tool, you’ve done this before,” Dr. Bekker assured, before squeezing the gel onto the girl’s chest and pressing the ultrasound wand down.

She can be gentle. And kind.

“Psych residents, I swear. God, isn’t anyone in this hospital competent?”

Sarah was shocked back to reality by Ava, who was snapping her fingers at her, “Dr. Reese? What tests did you order?”

“Uh… CBC, BMP, urinalysis, and a 12-lead-EKG?” She trembled, her voice seeming more questioning than answering.

“Okay,” She said quietly, focused on the ultrasound.

A few minutes of quiet later, Dr. Bekker put the wand away, “Clean her up, and,” Dr. Bekker looked back at Miranda, “And if I remember correctly, your popsicle of choice is cherry?” She winked at Miranda, removed her gloves, and helped herself to hand sanitizer off the wall. Dr. Reese nodded at Monique, who was wiping the girl off, and left as well.

“Um…” Dr. Reese started, “What do you think?”

“Transfer her up to the PICU and let me know when her parents get here,” Dr. Bekker told Maggie, before turning to Dr. Reese, “I think she’s in congestive heart failure,” She shrugged, “Did you see the ultrasound? She has a complete atrioventricular septal defect, she’s been my patient for the past year, we knew this was coming.”

“Why didn’t you operate earlier?”

“Her parents wanted to wait,” Ava shrugged and rolled her eyes, “Nobody wants to put their four year old daughter through open heart surgery. But now,” She gestured back towards the room, “Their five year old daughter is going to go through open heart surgery today.”

“Well is she going to be okay?”

“If I can get her in for- I’m sorry,” She interrupted herself, “Why do you care?”

“She’s…” Sarah balled part of her coat up in her hand, “She’s my patient, I just-”

“Not anymore she’s not,” Ava huffed, “Thanks for not killing her. Wish I could say the same for Mr. Nearling.”

Ava flounced off.

Sarah watched her leave, and turned to Maggie, who pointed at treatment 1.

“Ear infection.”

Dr. Reese nodded, grabbing the tablet the charge nurse was holding out, and heading to treatment 1.

By lunch, she had treated three ear infections, a gunshot wound, a miscarriage, and sent a psychosis patient up to the psych ward. By the time Maggie sent her off for her lunch break, she had practically forgotten about Ava.

Dr. Charles was waiting for her when she opened the door to see him, and he gave her a tight-lipped smile, “How was it?”

“Uh, good,” She sat across from him, and he pulled out his own lunch while she unpacked hers, “I saw Dr. Bekker.”

“Oh? How was that?”

Sarah tapped her foot, “One of her CHD patients came in, um…” She took a bite of her sandwich, “I ordered some tests for her. She was snarky about it when I talked to her afterwards though.”

Dr. Charles shrugged, “Well, Ava will always be Ava, regardless of-”

“She said, um… She thanked me for not killing the patient and said she wished she could say the same for Mr. Nearling.”

He sighed, and nodded, “Well, it’s only been a few days. She’ll get over it. You guys were good friends before, you’ll be good friends after a while..”

“Good friends?” She questioned, “What makes you say that?”

“Well, y’know,” He motioned back and forth with his hands, “You’d chat, you seemed to be happy when you saw her, she teased you a bit. All of Ava’s telltale friendship signs.”

Sarah was quiet, instead choosing to take a bite of her sandwich and chew thoughtfully.

“Tell me, Sarah, do you like Ava?”

“What do you mean?” Sarah asked, carefully.

“Like… You know, are you interested in her? Romantically?”

Sarah choked on her sandwich, coughing a few times.

“Remember to chew, Dr. Reese,” Dr. Charles reprimanded.

“I don’t like her,” Sarah defended, “I don’t care about her. I deserve better. If I still liked her after she talked to me like that, even if I liked her in the first place, I’d be crazy.”

Dr. Charles shrugged, taking a bite of his salad.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“What?”

“The shrug.”

“What do you think it means?”

“Did you do Yolanda’s intake?”

“Who?”

Sarah nodded, stuffing her half-eaten lunch back into the bag and tossing it in the trash.

“Sarah, you haven’t finished your lunch-”

“Not hungry, I’ll see you around,” Sarah started to leave, but Dr. Charles stopped her.

“I’m supposed to pass a note on for you.”

(A/N) come back tomorrow for pt 2 lol

#chicago med #transfemme!sarah #my au #honestly i dont like this but some of the contextual stuff is necessary #whatever

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sunsinrinn · 4 years

Text

Secrets Part 10.

Bakugo x reader, Bakugo x Uraraka, Kirishima x Reader

language, angst pure fucking angst

Word Count: 1,248

Idea: Y/n has a secret to share with bakugo not expecting a secret from him. She leaves heart broken and attempts to move on. But how will she move on if her secret can no longer be hidden? She fakes a relationship hoping its enough to not expose the true origin of the secret. (This is a terrible summary but I cant say much without spoiling future parts. 🙃)

You back track, “But I still love you too!”

Kirishima lets out a sigh in relief.

And you looked confused as hell. ‘Why is he sighing?’

“A-aren’t you mad, Kiri?”

“N-no! Actually what I wanted to tell you something about that...

“I have feelings for him as well”

Well shit. You both love him. Does that mean he doesn’t love you you though?

“Look at us, in love with the same man.” You say shakily attempting to hold back tears.

“But we still love each other right?” He asks with an equally shaking voice.

“Oh baby, I will always love you! How could I just stop loving you?”You pull Kirishima closer. “Look at me, I will never stop loving you, but I also love Bakugo. Nevertheless, You were there for me in all of my hard times and I want you to be here for our future. I want to continue to build a future with you.” He nods his head in agreement and pulls you in relieved that he wasn’t going to lose you.

“So, what do we.. what do we go about Bakugo...” he whispers

“I don’t know... We can’t tell him because obviously he is going to freak out.

“ If we tell him anyways, he will probably choose you in the end. If it does come to that. Just know I will let you go so you can be happy.” He says and you pull away angrily.

“I WILL NOT FUCKING LET YOU GO! Fucking understand that Kirishima, you made my life better, I can’t lose you!” You say in tears and kirishima pulls you in again and just holds you tight.

Finally you both pull away and wipe your tears.

You sniff and say out loud, “We should clean up a bit before Bakugo comes home and notices somethings off..”

“Yeah...” Both of you get up and head to the bedroom to fix your tear stained faces.

Bakugo is finally able to go home after a day of patrolling and paperwork. He is content as he walks home still thinking of what happened during lunch today. Once he finally makes it to the house he knocks on the door before entering to make sure you and Kirishima knew he was home.

Instantly, once he notices that you’re are sitting alone in the living room and kirishima is in another room, that something is wrong. He won’t mention it but knows it has to do with earlier today. He has a sliver of hope that you might want him back but dismisses it so he doesn’t feel guilty.

“Hey Y/N, I’m back” he says

You look up from your phone and give him a fake smile, “Hey Bakugo! How was the rest of your day?”

“It was okay, was stuck with paper work after lunch” he says rubbing his neck, “Where is kirishima?”

“I think he might be in our room” you say unsure not looking at him anymore.

He nods and walks to his room, “Alright” and leaves you alone.

During dinner, he notices the tension between you and kirishima. Which makes things very uncomfortable. He tries to make conversation but it dies down. He just decides to stay silent for the rest of dinner. He tries to eat quickly so he can leave the tension filled table.

As soon as he is in his ‘room’ he sits there confused as to why you guys were acting this way. Was is because of something he said at work? Did he cross a line? Or was it because you both remembered what he did to you?

Then he remembers about his baby. And he becomes pissed himself.

He then thinks of when shall be the right time to ask you or if you were going to even fucking tell him. Then he decides what to do.

He hears a muffled conversation on the other side of the wall and tries to not listen but does manage to hear a few words like confessing, the baby, he sits up at the mention of the baby and tries to listen on but suddenly you both stop talking.

And with that he goes to sleep.

As the weeks pass by you are looking even bigger and you are a week away from giving birth which means you rarely go out so no one suspects you even avoid Bakugo which makes it hard for him to confront you,

You mostly stay in your house and even decline hanging out with mina because she will murder you if she found out you lied about the kid.

People don’t notice and just believe you have gotten more exhausted as you ‘grew’

You don’t even go to buy groceries, Kirishima and Bakugo go for you. Honestly, you and kirishima believe Bakugo doesn’t even notice your huge belly, oh he does. He also noticed the tension between the both of you is slowly diminishing.

Finally he finds you in the kitchen and corners you on a day he has off.

You look startled at him and nervously laugh.

“So... what a lovely day right?” You say nervously.

“Y/N, I want to talk to you about something that has been bothering me.”

You gulp nervously and begin to feel your heart rate speed up, “okay...”

“I notice you look a bit too big to be 6 months pregnant.”

‘Shit’

He continues when you dont answer,

“Which means you are either lying about how long you have been pregnant, or you are carrying fucking triplets.”

You continue to stay silent, which frustrates bakugo making him raise his voice.

“TELL ME Y/N! Are you fucking lying?”

You get scared and gulp, “I have no clue what you are talking about.”

“STOP FUCKING WITH ME Y/N! I KNOW YOU ARE LYING! I HEARD YOU! THAT IS MY FUCKING KID! NOT KIRISHIMA’S! I JUST WANT YOU TO FUCKING ADMIT IT! I FUCKING LOVE YOU, WHY CAN’T YOU JUST BE HONEST WITH ME!” By the end of that he tears up and you are just terrified for you life that he found out but continue to deny it.

“I have no clue what you mean, bakugo.” You say trying to be calm and ignore the pain deep down in you.

“STOP FUCKING LYING! PLEASE FUCKING ADMIT ITS MY KID. I WANT TO BE THERE FOR THEM! DONT TAKE THAT AWAY FROM ME!”

You see him fall to the floor and you are petrified because you have never seen him like this. It wasn’t like him to cry or show emotion, which scared you even more.

Before you could answer you feel another pain and cry out. Bakugo looks up and sees you clutching your stomach as liquid falls down.

‘Shit.’ He thinks as he scrambles up, to look for the keys of your almost never used car. Once he finds them he rushes over to you and carries you to the car and calls Kirishima.

“Bakugo, what’s wrong?”

“ITS Y/N! SHE’S IN PAIN, IM TAKING HER TO THE DOCTOR!”

You let out another scream of pain and Kirishima just begins to yell at Bakugo to speed you over to the hospital.

“Hurry the fuck up Bakugo! She’s in fucking pain! What caused her to become hurt anyways?”

Bakugo stays silent at the question.

“Bakugo. What. Caused. Her. Pain?” Kirishima asks angrily.

“I may have yelled at her about the pregnancy. And accused her of lying.”

After he finishes that sentence Kirishima growls and hangs up.

‘Well shit.’

SERIES MASTERLIST — Part 11

A/N- i hope you guys enjoy this chapter! Lots of angst, lmao, another little cliffhanger, honestly whats a good story with out those. Anyways Bakugo is a lil bitch and will probs be murdered by kirishima.

If you’d like to be tagged in future parts or future works dont hesitate to dm, ask, or comment! I hope you guys had a lovely day today! Also if you asked to be tagged and I didnt tag you send me a dm so I can fix it :)

Secrets taglist- @hero-ink-pillar , @silentw-lkr , @ushiwakatrash , @purple-rabanito , @chaelysian , @puppycat714 , @fake-id-69 , @adaydreaminganon , @jessie9008 , @sam-i-am-1025 , @purple--nebula , @curiouslilbeast , @httpswwwtbhkcom , @setup-the-ace , @chanultis , @kit-kat428 , @thatonefangirl722 , @fxirylightsx , @katsuki-bakubae , @sakurakatsuki , @whatishappinesswhatislove , @wannabedaphne

#bakugou katsuki x reader #bakugou x reader #katsuki x reader #bakugo katsuki #kirishima eijiro x reader #kirishima x reader #eijirou x reader #kirishima eijirou #bnha x reader #bnha #mha x reader #mha

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lizacstuff · 3 years

Note

Liza that 3rd fragman 👀 "if I was born a 100 times I'd fall in love with you everytime" Eda saying this is their last obstacle and nothing can separate them, serkan's "I'll be right back, close your eyes I'm here" If this isn't all a red flag for shits about to hit the fan then I don't know what is LOL (but also how cute to Edser look and them telling each other they love each other very much 😭😭😭)

That fragman is both the SWEETEST and the MOST OMINOUS thing I’ve ever seen. ALL AT ONCE.

Friends... we’re gonna go through some things. That being said, everything is going to be great. These writers have been solid so far, and I have faith they have come up with something really interesting to increase the longevity of this show. And I don’t know about you, but I’m prepared to go through some things if it means keeping Eda and Serkan for longer. (I heart them)

This show is about Eda and Serkan and their love story, at it’s core it’s a comedy, it will all lead to happy things, but... yeah, buckle up!

I have a lot of asks both about the fragman and last ep, so I’m going to answer a bunch under the cut.

Anonymous said: The fandom theories about episode 28 have gotten so wild that I literally think the most shocking thing would be if they actually got married and were not separated (emotionally or physically). What if the earlier painful episodes were to make us believe that things couldn't possibly go right in 28 and it's a reverse psychology trick?

You could be right! I like your thinking. I checked on twitter and I had to back away slowly. The juvenile temper tantrums were too much for me today.

Look, I think it’s clear something big is coming. It has to, there has to be something that shakes up the show. Some of the theories are more upsetting and catastrophic than others, but the writers won’t do anything that dings either character or their love for one another. Whatever happens will showcase the connection between these two and the chemistry between the actors, that’s the point of everything, and anything that does those things is gonna be a-okay with me.

@jan31 Hi Liza. Do you think we are going to see the wedding in 28 or they will leave it on a cliffhanger for next week. Lots of theories going round mainly cos of Neslihan saying new dimensions coming in episode 29, which could just mean married life etc. I have seen suggestions of memory loss, it's all a dream since episode one. I would personally love Eda to wake up like in episode one but for it to be a total turn around and she is the boss and Serkan the employee. Eda being robot yildiz appeals to me!!! I know it will never happen but leave me here with my dreams!!

I started the day at 90% sure they’ll be married in 28/29, but now I’m down to like 30% that they’ll get married in these episodes. I really, really want them to get married before whatever happens happens, because every scenario I can think of for this reset or starting again, seems like it would be better if they were married.

However, the shooting spoilers from today, make me question that. Namely the videos where Hande appears to still be wearing the ring on her right hand. We shall see, that could be for many reasons.

Honestly, though, I wouldn’t hate a memory loss storyline. Seeing one of them (and Serkan’s line in the trailer makes it seem like it might be him) lose their memory and have to fall in love all over again? There are worse fates for a shipper than getting to experience that all again but in a different way.

Anonymous said: Your response to the fandom drama anon was so good, it's exactly how I feel. While I don't know what the old posts that were like are (that's shady as fuck) I did see all the other drama go down and wow. The actresses def need to stay in their lane and some of the fans, hoooo boy, it's obvious they're young based off their reactions alone. Had to unfollow some people once I realized what they were like. Also some of the IRL shipping reminded me of col*fer stuff, reading into everything and blowing it out of proportion (which then gets picked up by paps....). But you're right in that at least the show related drama is tame compared to OUAT. But still, people being too careless even while they know the paps see everything and harass Kerem and hande (omg did you see the video of hande the other day stopped in the van and she looked so overwhelmed 😔)

You’re referencing this post here about yesterday’s drama.

Today Neslihan made it worse by addressing everything and claiming she didn’t like all those Hande-bashing posts because... wait for it... she was HACKED. Oy. Hackers got in and went back two years to like gross posts about Hande? Sure, Jan. While I don’t believe that for a second, I guess that at least gives her cover with Hande so they can all pretend it’s true and move on so it’s not awkward on set. But, yikes, she needs to consult a publicist, she took a narrative that was circulating in certain circles in fandom and made sure all her followers were aware. Not very savvy.

As for the paps coming after Hande, yes I did see her in the car, she did look overwhelmed. Back off vultures!!! That’s why I think Kerem sometimes throws himself to the wolves so that doesn’t happen. She always handles them like a pro, but you can tell she’d rather be anywhere else on earth than talking to them.

The pap stuff is worse than I’ve seen before, they’re like vultures circling for any conjecture (sometimes made up out of thin air) they can turn into a question and blame fans. OUAT actors dealt with nothing like this. Also I can’t believe they never ask about the show. Like after last week? They could legit ask about the sex scene which probably would have given them some angle on the actors that they wanted, (especially since it was too hot for Turkish TV) but they let that pass them by, and instead asked the same questions about being together that they never answer. Dumbasses. They are not only awful people, they are awful at their jobs.

In Van, the paps pay off crew members for info, they always know more than fans. Also I don’t remember stars of my shows getting this level of tabloid attention before. Except for on Riverdale, Lili and Cole generated that level of interest, and while I didn’t pay terribly close attention to them, I feel like they rarely talked to the paps, were just photographed. Also I don’t suspected the CW of calling the paps on them, but I suspect either the network or production company of sometimes calling them on Hande and Kerem.

Anonymous said: Do you think it’s weird that they didn’t touch the kidnapping at all in either trailer? They might not have filmed it in time for the 1st one but certainly the 2nd. And I’m definitely not complaining about the ones we got because its like a fairytale but the kidnapping was the cliffhanger...? 🧐 I think they should’ve just left the princes storyline at “he went back to his country” but then they didn’t so......

If they’d left his story at just going back to his country, then the Prince really wouldn’t have served his purpose. He was brought on to cause some sort of trouble, so they probably need him to cause the trouble before he goes, lets hope it ends with this kidnapping!

And to answer your question, yes, I do think it’s weird that neither trailer touched on it. On any other show I’d think it was a huge red flag, but on this show maybe not as much because a) there’s obviously a lot of romance in this episode, it’s not crazy that they are focusing on that to draw people in with the promos b) this show likes to do cliffhangers that end up being no big deal, that happens a lot.

Who knows it could turn out to be a big deal that shapes the rest of the episode in some unexpected way (Eda’s captured the whole episode and she’s dreaming about wedding prep, or... who knows) but I think it’s more likely that they resolve in the first 5-10 minutes and then move on. Since we know from the summary (not that I trust those) that Serkan goes on the bachelor weekend, it feels like the Prince is taken care of prior to that. I don’t think he’d leave her alone for a second if there was a chance the Prince was still a threat. Perhaps Babaanne is pissed he tried to kidnap Eda and tells them she’ll handle it herself???

Anonymous said: Semiha not being in the promo is highkey suspicious. The actress is promoting the episode lol. She's about to Evil Queen this wedding ceremony but you know what, I'm fine with whatever she has planned if they end up married at the end of the day. What's funny is that since a lot of fans these days will assume that there will be shocking negative plot twists, not actually having one here would be a plot twist so I hope the writers keep them together for whatever's next haha

You’re not wrong, at this point, having this wedding take place would be a shocking twist for all of us! As for Semiha... hmmm... it will be interesting to see what her reaction is to Eda being kidnapped by her pick of suitor. Serkan Bolat might be the son of the man indirectly responsible for her parents death, but he would never hurt her. Take note, Grandbag!

Anonymous said: Do you mind sharing your speculative scenarios?

After the trailer today, I don’t know if I can even remember some of them.

Memory loss

Grandma forces Serkan to choose between Eda and his company/wealth, he chooses Eda and they start over from scratch with nothing

Time jump

AU starting over, showing a different path they might have taken together

Dream

These actors playing different characters in a new story

I don’t think the last three are likely, but they did spring to mind after some of Neslihan’s teases.

Anonymous said: So this show doesn't get like fantastic ratings (it actually seems to be on the lower end compared to all other dizis airing) but the social media engagement is off the charts. Why is that?!? Is the show just extraordinarily popular internationally? or that this is a "shipping" show? I'm floored by the numbers - its like no other show/fandom is even trying

The ratings were terrific during the summer. But to your point, it has a huge fandom both in Turkey and internationally, but it’s worth noting that most of those charts you see where it beats every other show in every imaginable social metric is just for Turkey.

It’s one of those lightning in a bottle situations where you get the right property and the right actors together at the right time and magic happens. And, for sure, the number one reason is the shipping. Shipping drives fandom engagement, and a fantastic ship with a juicy, fun, tropey love story is what this show offers. It also offers up two extremely attractive, talented, likeable leads with off-the-charts chemistry (plus the added speculation about an off-camera relationship that has intrigued more than a few fans, tabloids and gossip sites and fueled interest) who have done a good job of building the fanbase through their social media engagement. Plus the timing is part of it as well. I don’t know about you, but this show hit the spot during this pandemic and the horror of 2020. We all needed this escape.

Anonymous said:Do you think something happened in the writers room after the backlash of 25 and fan disappointment after Ayse's announcement? I feel like a switch flipped and now we're in fanficland with how much good content we've gotten in these last two episodes. Like I thought maybe they should wrap up the series soon before the characters got completely off the tracks but they may be finding their groove now and I'm interested to see what their next twist is after they can write out Balca/Seymen.

I don’t know about a switch flip, this show has been fanfic land since the first episode! The tropes! That is how I described it to multiple people when I first started watching: an AU fanfic come to life.

As for the writing changes, no, I don’t think backlash after 25 affected 26 or 27, because 26 was already 90% shot, and 27 already written. However, I assume they themselves could tell that 25 got just too dark and had strayed pretty far from the DNA of the series. While I didn’t think it was bad, it was not fun to watch and this show ought to be fun to watch.

Let’s hope, however, that the backlash affects future episodes in that they know what works... and what doesn’t. The last two episodes definitely felt reminiscent of the first batch of episodes. Light, funny, romantic. If they can keep that tone... I’ll be thrilled.

Anonymous said: i didn't realize how much i missed "together" edser until watching 27.. it's been so long since they were "officially" together and we also had such few episodes of it.. ppl have been comparing it to 12 and while in some ways i agree, edser are always so different here than they were there. 12 was them navigating their new relationship.. they were more shy and finding their footing.. here they are very much established, as they should be after knowing their love for so long in comparison to 12!

Yes, it was lovely. You know I’ve preached a lot about how even though Eda and Serkan were broken up, they’ve still been together all this time. And it’s true, but there is something about them truly being together that is magical. We never got enough of that the first time around (a writing mistake in my opinion) and they’re so good together it’s lovely to watch.

Anonymous said: Serkan not asking for help from Balca when asking his team for help with the marriage gifts preparations and refusing her offer of help when she asked made me so happy. Good job Serkan! He's learning! She's not trustworthy!

Yes, that was a good moment. And he was eyeing her very warily when she offered. The thing I don’t understand is how has no one caught on that she’s working with Babaanne? That entire office is filled with nosy people, has no one remarked on the number of times Balca has gone up to the office or they’ve disappeared for lunch at the same time? Come on Leyla! Come on Melo! Notice these things!

Anonymous said: Fingers crossed that we finally make progress towards getting rid of Seiman & Balca now that all the girls were drugged and Eda was put in the car in the last episode. Unless Seiman has a change of heart and takes Eda back inside before anyone wakes & the guys get there then the show has to address it. Although I do not think Balca is going to back down unless Serkan straight up tells her he has zero interest in her and never will. Totally fine if that happens in the next episode.

Will Balca backdown even if she’s humiliated like that? She’s so delusional I’m not sure. What I am sure is that she’s dangerous. This came in before we saw the other two fragmans that have no mention of the kidnapping. Hard to picture how that is so easily resolved. Unless she frees herself (which seems unlikely in her groggy state) or maybe Melo’s future boyfriend is able to stop it before they get far? Or I don’t know. I just know that I want to see Serkan lose his mind and all the other characters see Serkan lose his mind and then I want it to be over. LOL.

Anonymous said: As much as I am loving everything Edser, I cannot wait for Seiman, Balca and Grandma to be gone. And I am even more annoyed to think that the show might try to redeem all 3 characters. All 3 of them are truly awful people and no need to waste air time trying to make the audience think any different. Just my opinion...🤷🏻‍♀️. Show please finally expose those 3 for the psychos they are and get rid of them.

Bye bitches! I don’t think there’s any redemption for Balca and Seiman. They both have poisoned/dosed people, hard to come back from that. And there is no need to redeem them because neither is compelling enough to be a long-term character. But maybe Granny, we probably will see a redemption arc for her.

Anonymous said: i know you were worried a few weeks ago that with ayse leaving as writer, we probably wouldn't have the same sort of comedy as previous episodes... but istg the whole kiz isteme scene, especially with chef alex, had me almost crying with laughter. especially when serkan off the cuff just goes "well if that's an option..." to everyone misunderstanding alex "wanting" ayfer for 2 nights and then eda ready to beat him with the flowers he bought her... comedic gold lmao.

SO GOOD! I was thrilled to see that sort of comedy, the sort of comedy we’d come to expect, from these writers. I think it bodes very well indeed!

That scene was amazing. I know Neslihan said that much of it was improvised. Probably that line from Serkan (since Serkan is SO out-of-his-mind in love I’m not sure he could even joke about having Eda only two nights a week! LOL) was improv from Kerem, and Aydan asking about the other nights, and Seyfi bringing up the weekend. And Eda’s very Hande-esque “Ser-KAN.”

I just love rewatching that scene and checking out everyone who is breaking character and just losing it. Cagri most of all. He’s blurred aback there but you can see Ferit spends the whole time laughing or trying to stifle a laugh. Reminds me of Cagri in the scene in 18 when they’re watching the security footage he was losing it in that scene as well.

Anonymous said: i'm scared - I think they are really about to give us all of these happy EdSer scenes only to have something happen RIGHT before the wedding ceremony due to Babaanne. Based on the last episode, I don't think there's any chance of a breakup (knock on wood) but what if Serkan gets arrested, goes to jail for 2 years, and we get a time jump?

This was sent before the last two teasers, so yes I think something is gonna happen. We shall see! I don’t really think Serkan going to jail for 2 years is in the cards, at least I hope not! Besides if Babaanne did that she would have no hopes of ever reconciling with Eda, so that seems unlikely she’d follow through and leave him there for so long a time.

Anonymous said: With the last week's sex scene, they did a lot of fade outs but the scene was basically still there so it wasn't much wasted effort for the actors. But for what they're teasing in episode 28 - idk how they can get away with showing them in the shower at all if Serkan lifting Eda with her clothes on had required blurring? Is Eda dropping her robe even pushing it? It's intriguing indeed.

Great questions. We’re 36 hours from finding out (well I'm longer than that because I wait for the English subs, hee hee) All I know is I want to see these scenes.. one way or another!

#sen cal kapimi #edser #Sen Çal Kapımı #sck spoilers #sck specualtion #sckask #sck episode discussion #asklizac #Anonymous

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winryofresembool · 3 years

Text

Things We Lost in the Fire, ch 25

aka Caleo uni au

Fic summary: Calypso starts studying at a new university, but to her annoyance her new flatmate is a loud mouthed mechanic who also likes to sneak his dog in whenever. But as she learns to know him better, she realizes they might have more in common than what she first thought. Eventually, even the darkest secrets come out…

Chapter summary: Halloween aftermath

A/N: Sorry for the wait again! This chapter wanted to become long (for my chapter) so I just couldn't finish it in time. About the future schedule, there won't be another chapter this week but given it's only Tuesday now, I think I may be able to update again Friday next week. Fingers crossed!

Thanks for all the comments again, you guys make me so motivated to continue! ♥ But I won't rant more, now I'll let you know what happens after the cliffhanger of ch 24.

Words: 3,8k+

Genre: romance & hurt/comfort

Warnings: none

previous chapter / AO3

...

Calypso woke up with her head banging in pain and a sour taste in her mouth. She also felt like throwing up. What was even worse than that, though, was that she had no idea where she was. She was still wearing a flowy, white dress instead of her pajamas and she didn’t recognize the bed she had slept in. Perhaps the strangest part was that she could hear light snoring from the floor behind the foot of the bed. She sat up on the bed so she could see who caused the sound, panic starting to surge in her veins when she recognized the dark mop of hair under a blanket.

It was Leo, sleeping on a mattress that had been taken from the other side of the double bed she had been sleeping in. What on earth had possessed him to sleep there, Calypso wondered worriedly.

Pulling a cover over her (which, she knew, was silly because obviously Leo had already seen her in her dress earlier) she continued scanning her surroundings and slowly started making some conclusions. This had to be Jason and Piper’s house, where they had stayed the night after the Halloween party. A party. Right. Her last clear thoughts were from the moment when she had seen the two Hunter girls arrive at the party. After that, she remembered vaguely fleeing the room and finding something to drink, and that’s when her memory got really blurry. And that was the truly scary part. She hadn’t been truly drunk even once within the past five years but she did know way too well what had happened the previous time she had done that. The biggest mistake of her life.

Before she allowed her mind to draw any more conclusions, she decided to rise from her bed and check up on Leo. He was still sound asleep and since the blanket had partially fallen off of him, she could see that he was wearing a tank top and boxers, which she took as a good sign. Since they both were at least somewhat clothed, she thought it was quite unlikely that they had crossed the line that she was not ready to cross. But that didn’t mean that nothing had happened.

“Ahem,” she cleared her throat while wrapping the bed cover around her a bit better, trying to make Leo wake up. She needed to do that at least twice more before he finally stirred.

“Wha… Woah!” He yelped with surprise when he realized where he was and with whom, quickly pulling his blanket over his mostly bare legs. “Morning, Sunshine. How are you feeling today?”

The panic had momentarily made Calypso forget about her headache and dizziness but now that Leo reminded her of it, she realized they hadn’t disappeared anywhere. Sitting back on her bed, she sighed.

“I’ve been better, that’s for sure.” She rubbed her forehead for a moment. “The worst part is that I have no idea what happened last night.”

“You… don’t remember any of it?” Leo asked while sitting up, and Calypso thought she could hear a hint of disappointment in his voice.

“I do remember what happened before my first drink,” Calypso clarified. “But not much after that.”

“In that case, I think I can help you fill some gaps,” Leo replied. “If you want to.”

“That would be good.” Calypso tried to undo some knots in her hair with her fingers, sighing with frustration. “Maybe you can start with explaining why we are both here. I mean, in this room. I think Piper and Jason have several extra rooms in their house.”

Leo’s face turned bright red at the implications of Calypso’s question. He had to clear his throat before he managed to answer. “Um… You were really not feeling well last night… And to be honest, some moments you seemed pretty desperate to… I don’t know, it seemed like you were trying to escape from Thalia and Reyna every time they tried to talk to you. So, um, we, as in, me, Piper, Jason, Annabeth and Percy thought that someone should probably keep an eye on you. Just in case. So. I volunteered.”

Calypso wanted to keep Leo distracted so he wouldn’t ask more about Thalia and Reyna so she asked: “But why you, and not for example Piper? She lives here so it would have been easier for her. You could have just driven home and come to pick me up today or something.”

“That’s… that’s true but I felt it was my duty… as your flatmate, of course… to make sure you’re OK,” Leo stuttered. Calypso had a feeling it wasn’t the whole truth but she didn’t push it. “Alright,” Calypso said. “But why were you sleeping in this room? Like I said earlier, there are other places…”

“Ahem,” Leo made a coughing sound again. “That’s because you asked me to stay here. And I’m not lying about that. You can think anything you want about me but I would not do anything without your consent… um, not that any of that has even crossed my mind, gods.”

Even though Calypso was relieved to hear that because it proved that nothing had happened between them, she had to admit to herself that perhaps a tiny part of her was a bit disappointed. Leo’s reply made it sound like he did not have any romantic feelings towards her. Or then he was a liar. Either way, Calypso wasn’t sure what she should think.

“I… asked you to stay with me?” she repeated instead.

“Um, yeah,” Leo replied, his fingers tapping on his blanket absentmindedly. “You said something about nightmares… and I dunno, you just didn’t wanna be alone. Piper asked if you’d like her to stay but… you picked me? I don’t know why.”

There was a long pause before Calypso answered. Maybe it was her dizzy head making her make decisions she usually wouldn’t, but she thought there was no reason to deny it anymore. Feeling the warmth on her cheeks, she finally replied: “That’s because – I hate myself for this, but - you… you mean more to me than her.”

“I… what?” Leo frowned, looking like he was wondering if he had heard right.

Calypso sighed deeply and hid her face into her hands. She hated how fast her heart was racing in that moment. “I’ve been trying to deny that for several weeks now, but… I guess the drunk me was more honest than what I usually am.”

Leo crossed his arms, inching closer to Calypso on his mattress so he could look at her directly. “But… but… what does it mean? I mean, I do have an idea because I’m not an idiot even if I seem like one – but I need to hear it from you.”

“Leo Valdez, it means I like you! In a very non flatmate like way! There, are you happy now?” Calypso’s voice started cracking and she felt like she was on the verge of tears.

“Of course I am!” He exclaimed, almost jumping up from his mattress. “I think I’ve had a crush on you ever since you got mad at me for smashing your table!”

Calypso’s mouth opened in surprise. “You… have? But… how?”

“When you got mad at me that time, I saw some fire in your eyes. Like, OK, I’m gonna admit that you looked hot from moment one but I didn’t care about that. I didn’t,” he repeated when Calypso looked at him skeptically. “I know a lot of girls who kinda remind me of you with their shiny long hair, perfect eyelashes, et cetera, but many of them are the type of people who used to laugh at me at high school. And I mean, not in a good way. But when I saw that fire, somehow I was convinced that you were different. You have just the kind of spunk that I like and you’re not afraid to call me out when I deserve it – but you’re still fair and don’t judge the book by its cover. Fine, of course I was worried I was wrong and you wouldn’t forgive me for that mistake. But, somehow, this one time, I was right. And I only got more convinced as I learned to know you better.”

“Leo…” Calypso was starting to lose the fight against the tears.

Leo looked extremely worried when he realized she was crying. “What? I thought you’d be happy to hear that? I like you – you apparently like me for whatever crazy reason – what’s the problem?”

Calypso tried to brush off the tears from her face before answering, her eyes sparkling with frustration. “The problem is that you just made this – what I should do – a hundred times harder! If… if you hadn’t answered to my feelings, I could have just tried to accept that and eventually moved on. But… how are we going to live with this knowledge, live under the same roof… when nothing can happen?!”

Leo started to freak out. “What do you mean ‘nothing can happen’? Calypso, could you please finally be clear with me? Why did you just confess your feelings and then say… that?”

Calypso didn’t miss that Leo used her full first name, a thing he did quite rarely. Her voice was still a bit hoarse when she answered:

“Alright. I have plenty of reasons but here’s the first one: In the past… I’ve had nothing but unsuccessful relationships. I may have been really young back then, but it made me doubt myself, Leo. Several guys I really liked - and I imagined they liked me back - told me some big words… only to run to their ‘real’ girlfriends at the first possible opportunity. You’d probably say ‘but that was many years ago, screw those guys’!”

“Damn right, I would!” Leo exclaimed, slamming his fist on the floor next to him to emphasize his point.

“… And I wish it was that simple but it isn’t.” Calypso shook her head. “There’s more to that story than I care to explain right now. And then I met Percy a couple of years later and thought that maybe I’d be ready to try again. Well, you know what happened. It did not work out and I decided that when I’d finally have my freedom… I mean, when I’d move out and start my studies, I would make sure that I really am ready for a relationship before starting one. And I’m sorry, but… I don’t think I’m quite there yet. I want to learn to love myself before… you know.”

Leo finally stood up from his mattress and sat down next to her on the bed, not even caring about the fact that he was still wearing only a thin tank top and boxers anymore.

“I guess I can understand that,” he said, spontaneously taking her hand into his as a comforting gesture. “I’m no stranger to self doubt.”

“Then I guess we have that in common…” Calypso sighed, allowing Leo’s hands to remain on hers. “However… that’s not the only reason why I think it would not be a good idea.”

“What else is there?” Leo asked.

Calypso looked down at their intertwined hands sadly. “Well… I think I’ve told you my father is not the nicest of guys… But the truth is, I left home without his consent or knowledge. So, he’s probably looking for me right now. And if he does find me, I don’t know what will happen. I may have to go back. And I definitely don’t want him to find out about you. He has money and a lot of power and he’s capable of ruining anyone’s life if he wants to. He’d probably blame you for hiding me and have you arrested or something… It would break me if something happened to any of you, because of me.”

“Why… Why haven’t you told this to me before?” Leo’s grip on her hand tightened slightly and even though Calypso didn’t dare to look into his eyes, she imagined that they were burning in anger like she had seen a couple of times before.

Calypso rubbed her forehead tiredly with her free hand. “Because… what would you do in that situation?! I’d arrive at your home and introduce myself: ‘hey, I’m Calypso, your new flatmate, and by the way, I’m running away from my father who may or may not have kept me as a hostage for several years, but yeah, nice to meet you!’”

“A hostage?” Leo was practically growling now.

“Well… “ Calypso was suddenly hesitant, realizing she had revealed more than intended. “I was allowed to go to places… sometimes… but never alone… And I was homeschooled so… I did spend a lot of time at home… but we had a huge mansion… So it wasn’t like I was trapped in a basement or something…”

“But that doesn’t make it any more right!” Leo was almost yelling now. “I want to do something, I want to let people know what kind of person he is so he can’t keep doing that to you or anyone else anymore!”

“Leo, you can’t!” Calypso squeezed his hand, finally looking up at him. “Do you know how dangerous that would be?! And I swear, with his money he would only make the police go quiet about the whole situation… The main thing is that I’m here, right now, and relatively safe. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe he doesn’t care where I am. I don’t know what he’s thinking, to be honest.”

Leo was quiet for a while, breathing heavily and fiddling with the bed covers. “Well… Fine, I’ll let that be, for now. But I swear to gods, or the River Styx, or whatever the hell those ancient Greeks used to swear on, that if he does something to you, I will not let it be anymore. I… and I think I can speak for all of our friends, that we all… will make sure that he will go down with a bang.”

Leo’s comment about the ancient Greeks managed to cheer Calypso up a bit. “You sound like you would physically fight him. And how exactly would you do that?” she asked. “With your tools?”

“That’s not a bad idea!” Leo exclaimed, getting into his fantasies. “I would definitely bring my trusty hammer. Or, I could build a…”

“Hey, now, I was not being serious! But you sound like you are,” Calypso stopped him by putting a finger on his lips. “I absolutely don’t want you to do anything where you could get hurt.”

“Me? Getting hurt? That’s unheard of,” Leo attempted to joke once Calypso removed her finger from his lips.

“Alright, now you’re not being serious. Didn’t you once tell me that you joke especially when you’re nervous?” Calypso remembered one of their earlier conversations.

Leo’s smirk disappeared. “Want me to be honest? I’m not great at the feelings stuff. But I just heard you tell me that you like me. For a moment I was like: ‘hey, for once the chick you like likes you back, maybe this could work out’. And then you told me that apparently your father is some kind of psycho who is still controlling you, his adult daughter. I am glad that you told me about all this but you can’t expect me to stay calm when someone I care about is in danger. You wouldn’t stay calm either, would you?”

Calypso shook her head. “No. You’re right. I would also want to help you. And I really am sorry, I wish things were different and we could… Maybe one day. That’s all I can say.”

Leo sighed and ran his free hand through his hair. “OK. I get it.”,

A silence fell into the room as they both tried to take in what had just happened. Some automatic reaction made Calypso lean her head against Leo’s shoulder as if she was trying to tell him with the touch that she really was sorry. She was thankful he did not shift away. Eventually, she asked:

“So… tell me more about last night. Did I embarrass myself badly?”

“Naah…” Leo lied at first, a smile returning to his face as he remembered some of the things that had happened.

“You just flinched,” Calypso noted. “I felt it. You’re totally lying.”

“Fine. It was pretty funny when you had a karaoke duet with Piper and were too drunk to be able to read the lyrics from the screen so you came up with the words yourself. And at one point you just suddenly switched to Greek and none of us could understand what you were saying. But it wasn’t that bad. And even drunk your voice was kinda impressive. And your dance moves were definitely better than mine.”

“Wait, what? I danced too? Gods, please tell me no one filmed that,” Calypso asked, horrified.

“I can promise no such thing!” Leo grinned, and Calypso stopped leaning her head against him, instead elbowing him on the ribs. “Ow! I’m just joking! I don’t know if Piper got any photo material of that but I was busy dancing with you so I didn’t have time to film anything. Promise.”

“Alright. Sorry.” She lowered her head on his shoulder again.

“Guess we’ll have to hunt down Piper after this,” Leo said with amusement before recalling something. “Anyway, something kinda weird happened too. Like I said, it really seemed like you were trying to avoid Reyna and Thalia and I have no idea why. Every time they got close, you were like ‘gotta get a drink’ or ‘let’s go dance’ or ‘bathroom break’. I’m not even sure if you greeted them. Can you explain that?”

“I… uh,” Calypso tried to come up with something that she wouldn’t have to tell the whole story. “My half sister Zoë… She used to be a Hunter. But she died some years ago. An accident. I think those two probably knew her and… the wound is still too deep so I didn’t want to have to talk about her. It would have ruined everyone’s night.”

“I’m sorry,” Leo said, causing chills in Calypso’s back by running his thumb on the palm of her hand. “I had no idea... Feels like I’m learning a lot more about you now than I have the past few months…” “I probably should have told you about that earlier… So I’m sorry too.”

Leo bit his lip as if he was struggling to decide something. “If it makes you feel any better… I know how it feels to lose someone important. My mum. She died in a fire. Yeah, the fire that started my fear,” Leo confirmed Calypso’s suspicions. “She was the only family I had and after that I went from home to home and no one wanted to keep me… Sometimes I ran away too… That kept going until Emmie and Jo finally found me. It… doesn’t really get easier, but somehow… you still learn to live with it. Because you have to.”

“Yeah. I know the feeling. But if you have to find something positive out of this situation… at least we’re safe now. And we’re not alone, right? That’s what they’d want for us, right?” Calypso sounded a bit unsure, though.

“Yeah. You’re right.” They stayed quiet for a while, but this time the silence was comforting. Finally, Leo decided to break it, in his typical way.

“No offense, Cal, but you could use a shower. For all of our sake.”

Calypso quickly sat farther from him. “Oh my gods, Leo, that is so not appropriate, especially in a situation like this! What’s wrong with you?”

Leo put his hands up defensively. “Was just trying to be honest! The alcohol and the throwing up did not do good to you.” “Geez, I hate you,” Calypso mumbled.

“That’s fine because I hate you too,” Leo claimed.

“Not what you said a moment ago,” Calypso retorted.

“I could say the same back at you.”

Suddenly both Leo and Calypso burst out laughing, needing to release the tension the whole conversation had created. Calypso didn’t remember when she had last laughed that long or hard but she didn’t care, it simply felt right in that moment. When she and Leo finally calmed down, she said quietly:

“Maybe we are idiots, both of us.”

“Maybe. But normalcy is not for me. I learned that a while ago.”

“Same, to be honest.”

Calypso and Leo’s eyes met. Some barriers had been broken that day and even though there was still a lot of work to do, Calypso realized that it had felt good to talk to Leo. He hadn’t judged or questioned, at least not in the way she had expected. He had seemed to accept that she’d come out of her shell with her own terms. Something about it all just felt so right, and when she remembered that he had also admitted he liked her back… she decided it was time to get a bit crazy. Screw the consequences, if they couldn’t enjoy this moment, then what could they enjoy? That’s why she let her hand brush his cheek before resting it in his hair, gently lifting his chin with her other hand so he’d know her intentions…

“Do you think… we could forget about the stupid rules just for a moment?” She asked, resting her forehead on his.

“I think I’m down with that,” Leo smiled at her softly (Calypso didn’t like admitting it but that soft smile never failed to get to her).

They closed their eyes and started leaning even closer, but just when their lips were about to meet, the door opened. The couple quickly separated when Piper peeked in.

“I heard some laughter from here so I thought I’d come to check…” Then she noticed their expressions. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to interrupt!”

“Didn’t interrupt anything,” Leo mumbled, although it was quite clear from his voice he was disappointed.

“Yeah, no worries,” Calypso tried to reassure her as well, although her eyes seemed to be interested in a wrinkle on her dress.

“OK…” Piper wasn’t at all convinced but she didn’t comment on it more. “Well, I just wanted to tell you that we have breakfast downstairs. Whenever you’re up to it.”

“Yeah, we’ll be there in a minute! Just let me… clean up a bit.” Calypso exclaimed, getting up and starting to head to the closest bathroom. Leo also got up from the bed and started pulling on the clothes he had had under his costume the previous day.

“See you soon then,” Piper said, leaving the very flustered couple to get prepared for the day. Calypso could imagine that she and Jason would probably get good laughs from this once she and Leo would leave.

#caleo #leo valdez #calypso #heroes of olympus #percy jackson and the olympians #trials of apollo #my fics #caleo uni au

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reachexceedinggrasp · 3 years

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So the majority of the shows I’ve seen lately can be charitably described as ‘light entertainment’, including the ones with dark elements or more weighty, ponderous plots. They might be entertaining or interesting, they just... don’t stand up to scrutiny. Turn your brain off because this isn’t that carefully or skilfully made and you’ll only be annoyed if you start thinking about it as a whole. Including the last couple 'tragic’ historical dramas I’ve watched, which were not effective tragedy for that very reason. If you’re going to kill off the main cast, you have to earn it, and overwhelmingly writers don’t. Anyway, I’ve been getting despondent about whether stories which actually hang together and form a coherent narrative unit with consistent themes are the exception rather than the rule.

(And I feel like that should be a pretty low standard to meet, it’s sort of Step 1 of ‘being a story’: be about something! Communicate something, no matter how basic it is. Dead simple stories with rock basic messages can be revelatory! Just do it well!)

I’ve seen very little genuinely focussed or meaningful storytelling in my ventures for what feels like a long time. Basically, I can kind of count on one hand the number of films or dramas or whathaveyou I’ve seen from the last few years where it felt like the filmmakers were in complete control of their story and everything in it was purposeful and intentional. Most things have felt slapdash or shallow or fleeting. Story elements and character choices come out of nowhere just to derail already concluded arcs and fill screen time with empty repetitious drama, not to serve a meaningful narrative purpose. I would be watching with zero confidence anything in particular was going anywhere or that the writers knew where that should be. It’s just throwing shit at the wall, fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants type writing all the time and it fucking shows.

But then I watched Money Flower.

Money Flower is different. Money Flower is towering head and shoulders above every modern drama I’ve ever seen. Titanically good writing which rises above its genre and makes conventions seem radically new and fresh not by reinventing them or deconstructing them, but by playing them straight, taking them seriously, and committing 1000%. This is all your familiar rich family tropes but with masterpiece execution, infused with consequence and meaning because they’re all driven by the psychology of complex three-dimensional characters. So many moving pieces and none of them are random or unmotivated. Just... GOOD WRITING. And I want to make the point that it is this wherein art lives. The difference between a rank Lifetime movie and Romeo and Juliet is not novelty or tropes or plot twists- it’s execution.

This show is such a perfect example that it is not ‘mere events’ (aka plot) or novelty or shock value or cool ideas which separates something brilliant and timeless from forgettable schlock; it is solely and entirely execution. It’s writing itself, if you know what I mean. You can describe many of Shakespeare’s tragedies and history plays as soap opera plots. What makes Macbeth a deathless masterwork and Death Wish Hollywood wank isn’t a fundamental difference in subject or genre. It’s Shakespeare’s characterisation and purposeful storytelling. It’s the poetry of the dialogue. It’s the craft of writing. Most of Shakespeare’s plots are based on existing stories or on historical events and that has never mattered because novelty is not an inherent good or of any inherent artistic value.

Like, this is the problem with storytelling right now blah blah GOT, shitty endings everywhere etc. because power over the audience (can’t let anyone guess the plot, looking ‘clever’ with meaningless callbacks) and novelty are valued over narrative structure or things making sense or emotional verisimilitude. We have so many writers thinking being ‘shocking’ is all it takes to be a genius. It’s easy to be shocking if your story makes no goddamn sense because things that don’t make sense are literally unpredictable. Not in a good way, though. A great twist or sudden swerve needs to be unexpected but inevitable in hindsight or it does not work. I should be able to rewatch your thing and think ‘oh, of course! you can see it was [x] all along!’

We have so many popular writers now who are so shallow they don’t think anything needs to make sense on a character or emotional level. They don’t think their story has to be about anything. Substance is irrelevant as long as the surface is flashy enough. That has no staying power, you can only watch it once and you will forget about it quickly.

However, if you have ever wanted to experience the constant heightened stakes and High Drama of a soap opera without being annoyed at how ridiculous it all is and while actually giving a shit about the characters because they feel like real human beings, if you’ve wanted to feel repercussions when characters make choices, and get the emotional payoff that is the entire point of drama- now you can. Watch Money Flower. And let me tell you, it is fucking riveting. This show is mostly made up of people sitting in rooms talking and yet it is heart-pounding excitement nearly every episode. It is profoundly traditional and by the book while being totally fresh. It’s the most engrossing and satisfying artistic experience I’ve had in a long time.

Like, THE TENSION, THE DRAMA, THE REVEALS!!! You can, in fact, spend most of 24+ hours on the edge of your seat about family problems and business mergers. It seems unlikely, but that is the power of this series, it creates insanely high stakes and mesmerising suspense out of the most commonplace ingredients. Familiar plot elements become brand new and surprising under the deftness and tightness of this narrative. The plot itself is certainly 100% melodrama but it never feels like a soap opera and is never ever soapy in in a pejorative sense because it handles its classic tropes with such maturity and nuance that it's like you've never seen them before. The writing is incredible.

It is on an entirely different level than the vast majority of dramas, with a total self-assurance that keeps the pacing relentless yet unhurried- taking its time to let the impact of events be felt, the narrative always knowing exactly where it’s going and how to get there. The characters are all multi-faceted and unpredictable without ever being incoherent, their motives and goals always being gradually uncovered in more detail that only makes the storytelling and characterisation even tighter, even richer. The twists and cliffhangers are always mind-blowing but always earned, never cheap or nonsensical, and I can't remember ever thinking that about another show. (There’s literally one exception towards the very end where something a bit random happens for reasons of pure symbolism- it’s a misstep imo but it’s minor in the scheme of things)

Every time I started to doubt the writing, started to think ‘oh no, they’re going off the rails’, they showed me I was wrong and they were in total control. The only 'problem' with the show is that the drama is also profoundly painful to watch unfold, particularly in the beginning, because it's a story where everyone makes terrible life choices and moral corruption is everywhere. It's hypnotic though, like a car crash. If you can handle something dark, insidious, cerebral, and character-driven there is nothing I've seen in the same vein that can approach its brilliance. It’s like The Magnificent Ambersons as a slick modern revenge drama. There is also (PRECIOUSLY!!) a core of stunning romanticism around which all the horrors revolve and that saves it from becoming hideous or cynical. There is a chance for redemption and a new beginning after all, in spite of all appearances.

The ending has apparently been controversial, and it is definitely not quite as climatic as you would have expected given how powerfully climatic almost every regular episode is, but it's a good ending. There isn't full closure, they don't provide final resolution in a bow, but to me it's an ending about hope. It suggests optimism for our characters and I was satisfied with that. It's extremely rare for a 'revenge story’ to allow this kind of room for healing and it can do that because, imo, we discover in the end that it wasn't ultimately vengeance in Pil Joo’s heart. He has not become a tragic hero who will be consumed by the cannibalistic darkness of revenge, his quest was for justice. He teeters on the edge of the abyss but he avoided falling in; he didn't sell his soul, at least not irrevocably.

He is nonetheless a very tragic figure and an anti-hero, but despite having dedicated his life to bringing down the Jang cabal, it’s not that he’ll stop at nothing. He will make any personal sacrifice no matter how desolate, he lives as a mere husk of a man, and he facilitates enormous emotional harm to others in service of his goals, but he has ethical hard lines he never considers crossing. His sense of decency and compassion is never extinguished; he does care about the collateral damage he is causing even when making justifications for it. It’s important to him to give people as much agency as possible in their choices, to mitigate the damage done by his schemes as much as he can. To try to prevent harm coming to undeserving bystanders. Not that this makes it okay that he uses people, which he does, but the point is he never completely surrenders his moral compass to avarice. He’s never okay with burning down the world or ruining innocent lives just to get to his target.

Pil Joo is less a vigilante and more an avenging angel, he wants justice more than retribution. He wants fairness and a better, safer world where what has happened to his family won’t happen again. The reason this story never becomes Sweeney Todd (aka: a full on tragedy where we see the inevitable outcome of lust for revenge) and the reason he can survive twenty years spent pursuing someone’s downfall is exactly that principle. Searching for retribution would have destroyed him, he would have become the very thing he hated, but instead he goes as far as necessary to publicly expose the Jangs for what they are and then willingly submits to penance for his complicity in their crimes and tries to atone with the people he hurt along the way. Purged, he’s symbolically reborn and takes back his real name to maybe finally have a chance at the life he should have had. He moves on, content, a positive force. He’s capable of healing from the ordeal because he realises he doesn’t need retaliation, just seeing them stopped and facing consequences for their actions is enough.

The love story is a superbly poignant part of this. Their love is the ‘victim’ of his revenge and it will forever be impacted by it, but it’s not something that can be killed, so there’s still hope. Mo Hyeon’s bookending rescues of Pil Joo from death mean first that he has a purpose he must fulfil and then the second time that he has freedom to finally live as himself, for himself. There’s a future. And maybe they can be together there. I’m emo about it.

Anyway, if there was the slightest doubt about me becoming a long-term Jang Hyuk fangirl, it’s been put to rest. This performance is easily one of the best I’ve ever seen, period. No contest it’s the best I’ve seen in a tv drama. It’s also the most subtle and masterful turn he's delivered in his whole career. He's so restrained, but he is giving absolutely everything; he has total control over every microexpression, every gesture, every molecule in his body. There is so much simmering under his surface, so much going on in his eyes; the layers and depths are endless. The intensity and sharp intellectual focus he brings to the character is breathtaking. Everyone else is doing amazing work too, but he is almost constantly on screen and has this spectacular command of such a sprawling story, such a complex character, and he makes it look effortless. All artifice has melted away. The fact that being so tightly contained is in stark contrast to the bombastic element in many of his other roles renders its delicate precision even more startlingly impressive. I thought he was a great actor before, but I didn’t fully appreciate what he was capable of until Pil Joo.

#money flower #kdrama #writing #jang hyuk #long post #I've written a bit before about revenge and how it will inevitably lead to tragedy #so I wouldn't without explanation even call MF a 'revenge drama' because it turns out it's a complicated yet beautiful 'hope' drama lmao #it's actually a 'romance' in the Shakespearean sense #like the Winter's Tale #I guess we just call that 'tragicomedy' now but I don't find that word very helpful or descriptive #I don't think anyone actually know what you mean when you say that #anyway the first writing that is every bit as good as the production/acting side I've seen in what feels like forever #I just feel like everything is great characters in a mess of a story or brilliant performances elevating a bad script or good start-bad end #like no one knows what they're doing any more or why #but this show is incredible #it's only not perfect because the last four episodes are not up to what you'd expect for the rest but they are still really good #just not perfect #the last episode has problems but they're not with the concept of the ending at all- the concept IS perfect #and apparently I'm the only one who thinks that lol #apparently a lot of people did not understand what was happening and some misread it as a dream sequence #(this is an insane take to me- it's really not confusing or ambiguous at all)#(bc God forbid the main character not die and have a chance to heal after his absolutely miserable life?)#but yeah it's the only time anything feels rushed or not quite smooth #and one major character's fate isn't as satisfying as it could be #but I felt like I was never going to see something as engrossing as this again for a while there #anyway anyway NEW OTP #I didn't even get into it because no one cares about my giant rant here but it's SO traditional while being VERY different idk #the romanticism was so unexpected in a show that seems like it's going to be intensely cynical- it's handled with such gravitas #romance with gravitas is PRICELESS to me #the best swerve ever is for a show to NOT be cynical when it seemed so dark- that's a plot twist I can get behind

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