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formosusiniquis · 3 months

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This one goes out to that old guy I saw at walmart yesterday loading up his pioneer woman cookware onto his motorcycle while enter sandman played

steddie | G | WC: 1154

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“Hey baby, can you?”

“No.”

Steve's sweet tone sours immediately returning to the much more familiar gently bitchy tone Eddie knows and loves. “You don't even know what I was gonna ask.”

“Twenty-five years of marriage, lawful and not, Sunshine. I know when you're about to ask me for some shit we don't need.”

“Why would I be calling you if we didn't need it?”

“Because if you needed it you would have told me about it when I said, ‘Stevie, sweetie, light of my life, sun to my dawn,’” he looks around trying to figure out where the hell they moved the oranges and why the produce section is never in the same configuration anytime he comes here. He makes eye contact with a kid wearing an artificially faded printing of his own tour merch looking at him with a starry eyed look of recognition not of the celebrity but of family.

“Did you forget where you were going with that old man?”

He decides he might as well put on a show, both halves of this conversation already know he's going to do what he's told. “‘Stevie, my one truth north, my muse, my reason to continue living, my dearest husband, I'm going to Walmart,’ I told you not but thirty minutes ago and asked if you needed me to get you anything and you said no.”

“Oh, you aren't going to monologue for your adoring public all the sweet names I called you?” Steve is amused, he can tell, he's always been able to tell. He's accepting this as his penance for not giving Eddie an actual grocery list when he left.

“Well dear heart I am in public, but if you think we can find another grocery store to go to after getting banned from this one. I guess there is the Kroger on the other side of town.” The kid laughs, tries to hide it behind their hand, but if Eddie has had anything in this life it's experience with teens eavesdropping on conversations they shouldn't be.

“Oh you're really hamming it up, huh, Teddy. Can I tell you what you're getting me yet or do you still have a couple minutes in your set?”

He's given up on oranges, moves on to the onion he actually came here for, the lone ingredient for dinner that he'd forgotten from his clicklist. If they want to actually have the roast tonight it needs to start soon. “What is it that you remembered we needed, oh song of my heart.”

“I already sent you the link so you get exactly what I want.”

It's just ominous enough of a non-answer that he pulls his phone out of his pocket, juggling it and the five things he'd already grabbed that weren't on his one item list. He doesn't have the time to regret not grabbing the cart he was sure he hadn't needed when he sees what he's been sent.

“I'm on my bike! Where am I going to put that?”

“I'm sorry, am I hearing you correctly? Was I right when I said, ‘Teddy bear, my stars, my bard-’”

“You aren't on speaker.”

“My beloved damsel in distress, maybe the motorcycle isn't the most efficient of midlife crisis vehicles. Aren't you going to want something with more trunk space, why don't you get a Caddy or a Bimmer for old times sake. And what did you say?”

“I don't recall.”

“Probably for the best wouldn't want you banned from Walmart, what would the tabloids say?”

“Nothing that would match your wit, Sweetheart. Does it have to be this one?”

“Yes, the plaid matches the kitchen remodel, so be a good boy and strap it to your bike. And remember we've still got one kid to put through school if she decides to go, don't bring home any strays with you. Do you need to do your encore now, baby?”

“I accept your quest, my dashing prince. I shall return home with my bounty posthaste.” Encore complete, audience still enraptured, Eddie dips into the sincere. It's been nearly thirty years together and he's not once ended a call without saying, “I love you.”

“Love you too, my knight in denim battle vest. I'll see you when you get home.”

The call ends with the usual dull toned beep beep, the playlist the call interrupted starts to filter back into his earbud. He realizes he's going to have to walk right past the kid to get to the side of the store with Steve's Instant Pot.

“Hear they're about to have a reunion tour,” he says gesturing down at the reprint of their Came Back Wrong Tour shirt. The faux-fading has left a crack through his own face at the bottom making him unrecognizable, not that he looks the same now as he did at 25. “Those old bands just don't know how to retire.”

“I think it's smart that they're playing up the recent tik tok fame.” The kid says, “No one's even seen their lead singer since the 90s and after their first national tour he'd started wearing that mask.”

It hurts a little bit the way the kid says 90s like it's some bygone era lost to time. Tries to appreciate instead how good the mask idea had been, he'd really been an innovator. “That was a pretty sweet gimmick, you think he'll bring it back? It's kind of Orville Peck's thing now isn't it.”

The kid slumps, managing the impressive feat of looking desolate while standing over the tomatoes. “Probably, not that I'll see it. I couldn't manage to get a ticket.”

That is something he can fix, “Here,” he manages to grab ahold of his wallet, “as luck would have it, I've got a couple spares.”

The kid looks torn between fear and elation, it's likely at least the second strangest thing to ever happen to them in a Walmart. “Oh I can't-”

“No strings, I got it through work for my sister-in-law to go with my husband. She asked why none of the good bands ever have reunion tours so… not going obviously. And my husband insists he's too old to be that close to the stage. You'd be doing me a favor really.”

“If you're sure,” they say, the hesitance more a mannered necessity than real.

“Sure as shooting. Seriously, here give me your name so my husband knows who to make the thank you note out to.”

“Aspen, thank you really!”

Twenty minutes later when he’s got a kitchen appliance bungied to the back of his bike he’ll appreciate that something good came out of this. Three weeks later when he’s standing at the front of a sold out arena he’ll mostly appreciate another chance to be dramatic, “This next one is for Aspen who didn’t laugh when an old man tried to flirt with his husband in the produce aisle. Gareth, count me in.”

#steddie #steddie fic #old man steddie #rockstar eddie munson

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oscarpiastriwdc · 21 days

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albums i would play for each driver on the 2024 F1 grid to expand their music taste

Max Verstappen: Graceland by Paul Simon - As a fan of classic and folk rock, I'd imagine Max has been exposed to Simon and Garfunkel and I think he'd enjoy the sprawling, detailed, careful expanse of Simon's solo masterpiece. Angels in the architecture spinning in infinity, etc etc

Checo Perez: Ramomex by Rebel'd Punk - One of the Mexican bands who pioneered punk music in the country, but Checo probably missed this release because he was too busy karting and moving to europe as a teen. It's never too late to have a proper angry punk phase, though.

Charles Leclerc: Ten Love Songs by Susanne Sundfør - Groundbreaking, life-altering pop music that pushes every boundary. This hits the sad songs craving and I think would interest him as a musician and burgeoning songwriter.

Carlos Sainz: Ultraviolence by Lana Del Rey - daddy issues. I just know he'd vibe out to Brooklyn Baby.

Lando Norris: Destiny by DJ Sabrina the Teenage DJ - I dream of sitting him down and exposing him to actually good, interesting, fun contemporary dj music.

Oscar Piastri: Speaking in Tongues by Talking Heads - He has that certain David Byrne swag and demeanor of someone who'd love the Talking Heads if only given the chance.

Fernando Alonso: 10,000 gecs by 100 gecs - At first the old man would be extremely confused but once he was on board he would be blasting The Most Wanted Person In The United States all day every day.

Lance Stroll: Talon of the Hawk by The Front Bottoms - that post that's like the problem is men are making podcasts instead of forming midwest emo bands. but it's men are becoming f1 drivers instead of forming midwest emo bands. I think some TFB exposure could be the spark of inspiration for a great career pivot.

Lewis Hamilton: Maps by billy woods and Kenny Segal - I fear Lewis might have been too worried about Merc's performance last year to have checked out this fantastic collaboration that was one of 2023's best albums.

George Russell: Contra by Vampire Weekend - I just saw Vampire Weekend live following the release of the new album and at the show there was a guy a few feet ahead of me in the merch line who had the exact same energy as GR. The mix of prep vibes and world music would work into his taste while expanding his listening beyond coldplay.

Yuki Tsunoda: GLOW ON by Turnstile - 100% a selfish pick, I want to mosh with Yuki in the pit of a Turnstile pit.

Daniel Ricciardo: The Panhandlers by The Panhandlers - A country supergroup I return to time and again, wistful and nostalgic, making you yearn for West Texas no matter where in the world you are.

Alex Albon: Pelican West by Haircut 100 - Funky British jazz pop, perfect for dancing and vibing.

Logan Sargeant: Crying, Laughing, Waving, Smiling by Slaughter Beach, Dog - I fear Logie might be too young or too norm core to have had a proper Modern Baseball phase (it's never too late logie! listen to Intersection!) but Ewald's 2023 offering seems like something he missed last year that's perfectly up his alley.

Valtteri Bottas: Merriweather Post Pavillion by Animal Collective - Weird and complex, I think he should throw it on while on a long bike ride and let his mullet fly in the breeze.

Zhou Guanyu: God Save the Animals by Alex G - no you don't understand i need him to listen to Alex G he would love it

Kevin Magnussen: Heaven or Las Vegas by Cocteau Twins - Ethereal music he can feel and let wash over him in a wave to relax and transcend the horrors of driving for Haas.

Nico Hulkenberg: Supernatural by Santana - dad music but make it funky and good

Pierre Gasly: Sex Dreams and Denim Jeans by Uffie - A perfect twist on early 2000s French electronic music, I think it'd remind him of the club while sounding entirely new and make him want to pick up a side dj gig of his own.

Esteban Ocon: Lescop by Lescop - French indie pop-rock! His most recent album is fantastic, but Este should check out Lescop's 2013 debut first.

following a conversation with @liamlawsonlesbian and her definitive book rec list i'm doing something similar for music (she bullied me into posting this sorry). large range in popularity/mainstream-ness of artists depending on the driver and what i think they're already listening to.

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shaampoo · 3 months

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Random headcanons and rambling about poppy Playtimes smiling critters

In the show, Dogday and Catnap are really good friends, but since the show was set in the 90s (I think), the creators didn't want Catnap and Dogday to be mistaken as a couple, so they kinda subtly implied in the show that one of the other smiling critters (maybe BobbyBearhug since she's also bubbly and stuff, and, well, it was the 90s) had a crush on Dogday on something, but tbh I think it would be pretty funny if people in the poppy Playtime universe started shipping Dogday and Catnap and BobbyBearhug with another smiling critters member (if they also ship the smiling critters in the poppy Playtime universe, I mean, almost everything has their own fandom, anyways)

Also Catnap is afraid of cucumbers, and there's a running gag that he falls asleep at inconvenient times

Running gag that Dogday is afraid of sunflowers cause they look at him (inspired by hyena-euphoria), and maybe the others being like "but they're SUNflowers, and you're DogDAY!" And maybe they have a episode of them trying to help him get over his fear (whether it works or not idk, cause it could be a fail and the lesson is "it's okay to be afraid, you can't control your emotions, dont force yourself into doing what you don't like" or they succeed and it's like "face your fears!!!")

I can't choose if in the show they talk to the audience or not, but I'm guessing not, but it would be really funny if like, Dogday was the only one who could talk to the audience, and there's a running gag of Dogday talking to the audience and the other critters are just like "???", but most likely no,

Also, yeah, it's probably just an ad the animation thing is, seeing how short it was and stuff, but like, a show is so cool, yknow?

BUT if it is an ad, or a show to sell toys / show that has merch, then seeing how Catnap was introduced, I think it would be cute if like, they were introduced one by one, with Dogday first (since he's the leader, and it could help with my headcanon that Dogday talks to the audience, but not the others, since he was the first and stuff, and maybe it was kinda like Dora the explorer or something) and Catnap last,

Though, I kinda also don't really believe that idea, cause like *shrugs* I don't really know how to explain it, I think like, in the show, Catnap and Dogday are pretty close friends, seeing as like, sun and moon trope, cat and dog, and I think Catnap being introduced last would kinda mull that,

Also, at first I thought that Catnap REALLY hated Dogday in the game, since he let Dogday live the longest while Dogday was chained up and 1/2, but seeing y'all talk about how Catnap liked Dogday too much to kill him, and yeah, I can see that,

Also, why did the wiki for Dogday say Dogday doesn't have a spot, like, he does?? Are they implying he is not the Dogday, or are they talking about the cutout

Also, I while I was making a crackfic for the Smiling critters, I was rambling to one of my friends, introducing the characters to them so I could explain the story I was making, I showed them Craftycorn and saw Crafty was a girl, and they said "oh, I thought they were a guy but fruity". And one time I was looking at catnap and Dogdays heights, and I saw catnaps height was 16ft, so I said, "oh, Dogday is probably also 16ft, or, well...8ft"

Anyways, the smiling critters would def not like anyone who calls BubbaBubbaphant a nerd (in a bad way), and maybe there's also a episode where Kickin calls Bubba that (in shortening their names cause it's kinda long, and writing their names over and over again is driving me mad) and the lesson at the end is "it's not cool to call people names!!" (Cause lessons and kids shows, idk)

There's probably a bullying episode where the smiling critters get bullied and they defeat the bullies and the lesson is it's not cool to bully,

The smiling critters probably caters to very young audiences, but teens also like watching it with their siblings and such (when they're not like, "that's for kids!!") Just for the story and/or to criticize the smiling critters for getting into dumb situations

Anyways, get ready for me to flood the smiling critters tag, cause I just found a new thing I like *backflips off my skateboard and rides into the sunset, to be seen again*

#poppy playtime 3 #deep sleep #the smiling critters #Dogday #Catnap

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chemicallady · 7 months

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I'd like to say something at this point.

I'm reading here and there that some of you are changing their vision about Noah or reaching the point to ask yourself if you still want to be a supporter of him because of what that blog said about him.

I believe that what happened between Noah and this person is probably true, I don't have any reason to doubt about her. But.

As we say in Italy, you can't fully believe to a story if you ear just one-side bell. Noah doesn't have the chance to tell his side of the story because he has better things to do than care about gossip. More than that, it's a human being. We have to look at the big picture. I don't want to defend him at all costs, I actually really don't care because untill he will be a decent person in public (not saying bullshit like Ronnie, for instance) and continue to be polite to his supporters, we are cool. I think I'm far older than more than half of the rest of this (sometimes really bad) fandom because I was a teen in the years of the emo wave. You maybe don't know about the Used, early MCR, Radke himself, Oli Sykes before Sempieternal...

They were drugs addicted. Always drunks as skunks. Pissing on people, throwing mic stands in the pit, get FULLY NAKED on stage (I'll never forgot about this, Quinn Allman). They did some awful shit in front of they supporters and to their supporters. Things that nowadays would get them canceled. You have no idea (maybe, or maybe you have) of what was Warped Tour 2005. Or maybe it was 2004? I can't recall.

Bad Omens are TODDLERS compared to this people. Innocent, pure babies. They are nice, extrovert maybe but nice. No one can deny that. They dont do drugs, they dont get drunk on stage or fuck around this supporters. They have an healthy routine in tour, they are teaching people to not fucking fight, they don't fuel fights! Its NORMAL in metal to have a couple of injuries at concerts. Collateral damages. I was nine at my second concert and I saw Slipknot. One dude broke his nose in the pit. Blood everywhere.

It's not a fucking Hannah Montana show. Those dudes are suppose to be badass. Noah is not pretending to be someone else or faking a new personality. He is doing is job and he is delivering pretty good shows. In no time he will grab his crotch around moaning like Oli, give him fucking space to express himself and be feral. Like any other metal artist.

Another thing.

Bad Omens vip experience is not expensive. I don't have interest in buy vip pass for 30 second of nothing, I'd rather wait after the gig is over. I met so many artists this way and usually they are more appreciable if they don't have to move to the next city. BUT the costs is not that high. I bought vip pass for LP once and I had to work 3 months to save enough for it. And I was still living at my parents'!

The merch is high quality, they make new pieces every time.... that's their way to get real cash guys. During a tour you have to pay tons of shit: the venue, flights, hotels, your crew. And you pay in advance most of the time. I don't think they are rich bitches rn. They are doing fine probably but still many of them lives with friends. Having flatmates is many time a signal that you can't afford Ronnie Radke house in Paradise Palisades.

I heard that they weren't really nice during the set in Canada. Maybe Montreal or Toronto. Someone felt bad, someone dropped a surfer I don't know. I didn't follow this I here for dirty smutty ff. If I want to see them play I have tiktok. By the way you have to know that most of the time you can't see shit from stage. Because you have lights in your face pointing your eyes. So probably noah just say a crow surfer falling and thought 'here we go again, this people has no fucking etiquette', and he left the stage. Or maybe who owned the venue asked them to do so in case of emergency.

BTW there is no fucking etiquette at their concerts. I stand with him if he's pissed off about that. It's not that hard to understand that you have to stay at the sides if you're not used to metal shows or you don't want to be pushed. Other people is ruining your experience or maybe its simply not for you. I grew up in the moshpit and that's how we like our shit. We have no time for filming or make tiktoks, we live the moment (we, people who like metal music, I'm not gatekeeping. If you wanna learn how to survive the pit and enjoy the experience just message me.)

So, to sum up.

My point is that every one of us has that friend that was a dick with one or more girls we still love him because we know that he's a weirdo an not a bad person.

My advice is stop being obsessed with Noah and just enjoy his work. You dont know him, you cant tell. Don't believe everything, stories are getting bigger and bigger everytime their are told, and think about the fact that straight guys are mostly jerks. They take more time to mature and act like adults. We know that Noah is in therapy now, he open up about it, so he is aware that he is not perfect.

BECAUSE HE IS NOT. HE IS A HUMAN BEING AND HUMANS MAKE MISTAKES.

That's it.

I don't want to fuel fights as well but please stop being ridiculous and acting like he is insulting you personally. It's fine to be delululu but your pushing the limits.

Peace and love.

#noah sebastian #bad omens #metal show #mosh pit

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esotheria-sims · 11 months

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Sims Tag

Got tagged by the fabulous @deedee-sims - thank you! 🤗 Throwing in a random in-game pic because I can.

1. What’s your favourite sims death?

Hum, tough one. I guess being struck by lighting is pretty cool, not that I get to see it that often. Also being hit by a satellite, but I’ve literally never seen it happen in my game unless I cheat.

2. Alpha CC or Maxis Match?

Alpha, obviously. Although I prefer to call my style ‘semi-realistic’.

3. Do you cheat when your sims gain weight?

I used to, but now I’m like, nah. Let those sims have some meat on their bones!

4. Do you use move objects?

All the time, bruh.

5. Favorite mod?

If I only had to pick one, then Gunmod’s radiance lighting. Picked based on the fact that it’s always the first mod I get whenever I have to reinstall.

6. First expansion/game/stuff pack you got?

I think it was Nightlife? But my PC from back then was so weak that I couldn’t get the EP to work at all, save for a couple outfits that were randomly showing up in CAS.

7. Do you pronounce “live mode” like aLIVE or LIVing?

Been pronouncing it ‘aLive mode’ ever since I started simming. I never even knew there was a debate about it until I saw a post on simblr some years ago.

8. Who’s your favorite sim that you’ve made?

What, just one? D: I have a bunch of faves, and you can probably tell who they are by the fact that they crop up in every new iteration of my game.

9. Have you made a simself?

Never, nor do I plan to! Having a sim version of myself in the game would just feel weird.

10. What sim traits do you give yourself?

I don’t know them all by heart and I’m too lazy to google 'em, so pass. xD

11. Which is your favorite EA hair color?

I wouldn’t say that I necessarily have a favorite, but I noticed a lot of my sims tend to have black hair.

12. Favorite EA hair?

Imma go with hairshortcombed solely based on the fact that I don’t have a burning urge to replace it the second I see it in my game.

13. Favorite life stage?

Adults, duh. And teens. They’re pretty fun too.

14. Are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay?

I do a bit of everything, but I definitely lean more towards gameplay, especially since starting my BaCC.

15. Are you a CC creator?

Yep! Got my own cc tag and everything! 🙂

16. Do you have any simblr friends/a sim squad?

I want to think so! ^^

17. What’s your favorite game? (1, 2, 3, or 4)

Sims 2 all the way, babey!

18. Do you have any sims merch?

Nah

19. Do you have a YouTube for sims?

Nah

20. How has your “sim style” changed throughout your years of playing?

I think it’s gotten more consistent? I’ve been trying to find a balance between realistic and cartoony cc to maintain that elusive ‘semi-realistic’ look that I’m so fond of, and I like to think that I have a pretty good grasp on it now, after so many years of simming.

21. What’s your Origin ID?

Never had one, lol.

22. Who’s your favorite CC creator?

One favorite cc creator? BRUH. I have a 10GB downloads folder, and you better believe every creator whose cc is in there is my favorite! 🤣

23. How long have you had a simblr?

11 years! Golly, has it really been that long?

24. How do you edit your pictures?

By offering a blood sacrifice on a full moon. Nah, kidding. No blood is spilled during my editing process, though it does feel that way sometimes, considering how effin' long it takes me to iron out all the small kinks that annoy me about my screenshots. I kinda hoped having a dedicated photoshop action would help, but it only speeds up the process so much, unfortunately. :(

25. What expansion/game/stuff pack do you want next?

For Sims 2? Dunno man. Maybe a higher-res remake with all existing EPs/SPs and all known issues ironed out. Which is probably never gonna happen, but a girl can dream, right?

25. What expansion/game/stuff pack is your favorite so far?

I’m partial to Apartment Life because it introduced witches, one of my favorite supernatural life states!

I’m tagging: @blackswan-sims @eleysims @episims @rudhira @ho3sferatu @analog-mothman @nervosims @frauhupfner @mrs-mquve-cc and @gphoenixsims! But feel free to ignore! ^^

#tag meme #meme #sims 2 #ts2 #sims #bacc #wyverns bay extras #wb townies #charlie o'donnel #mine

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day0walkersdrafts · 1 year

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When they emerge from the car, they are so obviously Xavier’s sisters that it makes his heart crack open. To see himself, reflected in their pale, freckled faces, that shade of red that is so uniquely them. He feels instantly like the world has been put on the correct axis, is spinning the exact way it should. Him there, and them here. Seeing Theresa and Jessica make his arms swing open immediately, an unconscious effort that is purely, hug me, I love you.

And both of them oblige, laughing as they’re scooped into his arms. As he peppers kisses over Jessie’s face and shakes Tess’ shoulder with nothing but affection. They all laugh that same, that big smiling laugh. They have to unwind a little from each other, all three having the same gangly long limbs.

“Did you enjoy the show?” He’s asking her, a hand planting itself on top of her head. She’s shot up a few inches since the last time he saw her—which was admittedly too long ago. Her mascara is running off, because she’d tried not to cry and failed. Jessie sniffs and rubs at her eyes and nods happily.

“Enjoyed is an oversimplification—I think she lost her fucking mind.” Tess nudges Jessie with an elbow, which makes her little sister swat at her in typical little sister fashion.

“Is this merch?” Xavier holds Jessie by the shoulders, glancing down at the black hoodie she has thrown over herself, large but short, because she’s getting far too tall. The way all Wolffe children seem to get. “Stop. Don’t tell me you bought this. I could have gotten you free shit, Jess.”

“I wanted to support the band.” She’s pouting at him, childish and authentic. Sometimes, he cannot unsee her as a toddler, wandering around the living room with those uncoordinated arms thrown out around her. In the dark lighting of the the venue parking lot, roped off for privacy, she is clearly a pre teen and wildly growing. He pets down her choppy pixie cut and the affection he has for her makes him feel almost melancholy. Missing all those years of her life, like he had before.

“Is that Tess fucking Wolffe?” Lark jumps from the tour bus stairs, landing deftly into a jog.

“In the flesh,” she replies, before dissolving into more laughter as Lark snatches her up around the middle. Even though she’s six-foot-even and he’s topped out at five-seven, she’s easily hefted and falls forward a little over him as he does. She’s got a hand up, waving and Xavier glances behind to see Matilda. At the sight of her, Jess slips closer to Xavier bashfully.

Are you at that stage? Xavier wonders. Where everything seems to be embarrassing and awkward. He pets her hair again, turning away from Lark chattering Tess’ ear off to face Matilda.

“This is Jessie.” She’s met Tess before—Lark’s a fond and familiar Wolffe friend. He’d crashed in their house for almost a year when he’d been kicked out as a teenager and Xavier’s mother had informally adopted the boy into the redheaded brood. It was why Lark had been easy to connect with in the aftermath of—well. The aftermath. Matilda struts over in her confident, beautiful way, making Jessie’s eyes go bigger and bigger. She holds out a hand.

“Matilda, but my friends call me—”

“Mati,” Jess answers, eagerly scooping that hand up and shaking it with enthusiasm. “I’ve watched your interviews.”

“Okay, don’t lead with that,” Xavier jokes, shaking Jessie’s shoulders. She’s absolutely undeterred. References specific ones, asks questions about keyboards (“I play trombone in the school band.” “That’s so fucking cool.” “Really?” And Jessie looking like she might cry again) while Xavier’s eyes skate toward the bus. Land on Mouse standing there. For a moment, he sees something very lost in her eyes, very human and almost painful before she cleans it off with a sneer.

“Security,” she laughs in her sarcastic rough voice. “You didn’t tell me your older sister was so hot.” Tess bumps against Xavier’s shoulder as she comes closer, eyes sliding toward him. Xavier thinks distantly of the text messages they’ve exchanged about this group of musicians, and his never ending vent on how frustratingly rude Mouse could be.

“That’s so sweet of you.” She slings an arm around Xavier’s torso, pulling them closer. “People used to confuse Xavier and I for twins, so it’s kind of awkward that you’re essentially calling my little brother hot too. But I take compliments, sure.”

Mouse is instantly disarmed, her hands in her giant denim jacket and her eyes blinking. Xavier has to put a hand over his mouth to conceal a smile, otherwise it might goad her into finding her tongue again and saying something mean back. Instead, Mouse’s attention diverts to Jessie.

“You’re wearing my design!” It makes his little sister explode with excitement immediately, nearly a jump to her. She’s taller than Mouse and Xavier feels wounded watching her round her shoulders, hunch a little. He wants to tell her not to. Don’t start doing that now, or you’ll never stop trying to make yourself smaller. “Do you want to see the prototypes for the next merch drop?” Mouse slinks her hand around Jessie’s, her smile that ever present giant, somewhat devious in it’s cut across her face.

“No,” Xavier says immediately, shaking his head, and Jessie makes a wounded sound. He feels his shoulders hunching up with tension, eyes glaring at Mouse’s innocent wide stare. “No, c’mon, Jess. They just got done a show. They’re tired. We have to drive for like five hours tomorrow—”

“Whose tired?” Matilda’s arms sling over Jessie’s shoulders, pulling her in for a backward hug. “I’m not tired.”

“Never been tired a day in my fucking life,” Mouse quips, walking backward with her hand still on Jessie’s. His little sister looks downright star struck, trailing after them with a big, open mouthed smile.

“I can go on the bus! I can go on the bus?” She looks at him, pleading up hearts in her eyes to convince him. That’s something she never seemed to forget; how easy Xavier could be plied if she gave him big, wet, sad eyes. Maybe he’d spoiled her as a kid. That’s not your kid, he tries to remind himself. That’s just your little sister. You were a kid too.

“Mouse,” Xavier’s voice becomes low, threatening. He watches the door to the bus swing open. His heart skips a little at the peak of a brown hand.

“Oh relax,” Tess says, waving them on. “Like Matilda’s gonna let anything bad happen.”

Xavier watches a glimpse of long, curly brown hair—as if Benji is poking himself outside to see what all the noise is and he instantly turns to Tess. His heart feels like its doing more than just skip.

“Come smoke with me,” Xavier says, grabbing her elbow and twisting her around toward the back of the bus.

—

“Sorry, it’s all I have.”

He grimaces at the cherry flavored nicotine vape, but accepts it anyway. They lean against the back bumper, effectively away from the noise of the concert goers leaving. He should be around front, helping the rest of security to herd people away from the bus. He should be on that bus, making sure no ones giving Jessie candy or red bulls—which Mouse has in stock up to her fucking eyeballs.

Instead, he leans beside his older sister, puffing away at that disgusting little vape. It tastes funny on his tongue and makes him oddly thirsty. But it is a satisfying and instant hit that makes his hands stop shaking a little.

“I forgot she was such a big fan,” Xavier admits as he passes the vape back to Tess, who promptly hits it and billows white, thick vapor. “Even before Lark got me the job.”

“She has a poster of Matilda on her wall,” Tess replies with a laugh. “I forgot that they were so popular. It’s like one day Lark went from being a guy who slept on our couch to being,” she peeked around the bus and then back to Xavier.

“Yeah, it’s weird,” he instantly agrees, nodding and gesturing for her to give him the vape back. They stay like that for a moment, comfortably quiet. Xavier is, with no exaggeration, actually exhausted. He did front line duty, which meant he stood in front of the stage and constantly had to push people backward and sometimes, people hated him for that. Sometimes, people got a little too friendly because of that. He moves a hand through his hair, feeling sweat build up and sighing.

“Why are you trying to keep me from meeting Benji?”

The vape clatters to the ground, making Xavier swear and instantly dive to pick it up.

“I dunno what you mean—”

“I have literally known you since birth.” Tess takes the vape out his hand and shoves it into her pocket. Xavier hates that this is her, I mean business gesture. “You are the least subtle man in the world. He was about to hop off the bus and we walked around the entire thing to avoid him.” Xavier clears his throat and without something to hold, instantly starts fiddling with his own fingers. Laces them together and unlaces them and cracks tired and aching knuckles.

“Uh,” he laughs. “He’s tired. That’s all. After a show, he has to ice his hands and do like—stretches for them. It’s rough.”

“Oh,” Tess draws the word out, nodding. “Stretches.” She lifts her hands and splays them out. “How so?”

“Like this.” He imitates Benji’s routine hand stretches, shakes them out when he’s done.

“Fascinating. Does he have a favorite color?”

“I think it’s green.” Tess snorts, making Xavier frown and pull at his hands again.

“And how does he take his tea?” She asks, shoulder knocking into his.

“He doesn’t drink American tea—wicked snobby about that. He picks up iced black coffee when—Hey. Stop that.” Xavier pushes himself off the bus and stands in front of Tess with an accusatory finger pointed her way. She is grinning, her eyes bright and delighted up at him. “You’re fuckin’ evil, Tess.”

“What? Sue me. It’s fun watching you talk about him in person.”

Xavier thinks about their text messages and how Mouse’s annoyances were not the only thing they talked about. How Benji’s name flicks across those little blue bubbles more often than maybe it should. How once, Xavier had sent her a candid photo of him, a beer glass up to his mouth and eyes swayed to the left while he listened to Matilda. He’d been unable to open that text message chain for the rest of the night, because if he did, he’d get stuck staring at the photo he’d taken and sent. Benji had looked that fucking beautiful in it, the low bar lighting making his skin look rich and warm. He had eyelashes long enough to cast fucking shadows on his cheekbones.

“It reminds me of Dara. You haven’t dated anyone since then—”

“Don’t bring her up,” Xavier says, his stomach souring. He wants to think about that picture (the shadows of eyelashes, of his hand around that pint glass, wet with condensation), but the mention of her name reminds him of that slim engagement ring that still sits in the dresser of his childhood bedroom. Sometimes, the weight of it feels like a physical reminder of how he’d been so naive before the military. How he’d been so young, he’d thought he’d marry his high school girlfriend.

And thinking about her makes him think about the marines and makes him think of things he keeps trying not to think about.

“I just want to at least meet the fucking guy you’re dating, Xavier.”

“We’re not dating,” he replies, sliding his hands into his back pockets and staring at the ground. “We are—” His hand, that he’d only just pocketed immediately slides up to his neck instead, palming the back of it. “Why does it matter?”

“Well, I would like to make sure he’s cool.”

“He’s a drummer, of course he’s cool.”

“I want to make sure he’s kind. And I want to know what he’s like and make sure that—”

“Why are you being so fucking weird right now, Tess?”

She stands up, instantly defensive. They are too similar like this. Both of them very obviously their father’s children. He only has three inches on her, but he still straightens, because it makes him feel better. And Tess, who is well versed in that stance, glares at him instead. Refuses to correct her posture and give in. She folds her arms instead, across his chest. Neither of them have gotten loud yet, and it’s most likely because the ghost of their little sister lingers inside the bus they are directly outside of.

“Is this because you had to be the one to pick me up from the base hospital?” Xavier accuses her, without actually meaning it, and yet it’s something that has lingered on his tongue for years. Always there, always waiting for a moment. Tess’ anger drops instantly, her eyes blinking up at him, bright, clear and the same shade of green as him.

“What do you mean?”

“I know I was fucked up, okay?” Both Xavier’s hands brush back through his hair then, his chest slowly heaving out a long and shaky breath. “I get that I was—like, I wasn’t okay after I broke my ribs and got discharged. And I’m—I’m really fucking sorry you had to be the one to help, alright? But you don’t have to act like I’m going to fall apart all the time now.”

Tess’s arms unfold and all the anger in her seems to slice off like water wicked away. She reaches out, like an offering and Xavier’s cheeks go hot as he puts his in hers. She squeezes it.

“You think I’m worried about you because you have PTSD?”

Xavier hisses, stepping toward her.

“Don’t say that so loud.”

“Don’t call me loud,” she snaps back and then instantly laughs, with her head back, eyes crinkled and almost crying. “And don’t make me angry again, Xavier. Fuck, you are so good at making people angry, you know that?” She folds both her hands around his and shakes it angrily. He loosens, watching her.

Theresa had been his savior as a kid. She had been his whole world. They really had been called twins, their sullen middle sister, Emily easily tucking herself away with a book. They’d been elbow to elbow in every single mischievous moment he could remember from childhood, convincing her to follow occasionally.

When he had joined the military, she had been the one to drop him off at the bus station that would take him away and irrevocably change him forever. She had also been the one to pick him up from the base he’d been transferred too, with bones inside him that would permanently hurt forever.

“I’m not worried about you because of what happened before. I’m worried about you because you’re my little brother. You’re always going to be my little brother. Even when you’re wicked fucking tall, and wicked fucking annoying.” She shakes his hand again with every wicked and stares at him with such a loving glare.

“Okay,” Xavier says, his mouth dry and his eyes decidedly not dry. “Uh, that’s kind of why I was avoiding you meeting Benji. You’re like, very intense sometimes, Tess.” They both laugh at that, her finally letting his hand go and reaching for the vape in her pocket. Xavier swipes a hand under his eye and groans and rubs his shoulder. She hits the vape and he looks around the bus and instantly freezes.

“Hi,” Benji raises a hand. Xavier makes a strange noise in reply and then clears his throat.

“Were you—”

“No, just stepped out.”

They stare at each other for a moment. Benji’s hair looks wild, all long and pretty and messy. It gets like that, after shows and Xavier likes to tame it down himself. Likes brushing fingers through it, laughing at snags in the curls and likes feeling Benji shift against him as he does—Xavier blinks a few times before he remembers his sister behind him.

“This is Theresa.” He gestures awkwardly as she slides around the bus. “She goes by—”

“Tess. My sister watched a compilation of you cursing during interviews the entire ride to the show. I like your accent.” Benji snorts—which is decidedly a good sign, because it’s one of his amused snorts. His brown eyes are beautiful when they turn on him again and they make his heart squeeze painfully.

“Yeah, little sisters askin’ for a sibling.” Xavier glances to Tess, who starts forward before Benji lifts one of his hands. “Nah, asked for Xavier.” The parking lot has vacated entirely, so it’s quiet except for a little stir of wind. There’s a group of security guards talking not too far away, sharing a few laughs around gifted beer. It is not louder than his heart in his ears. Xavier laughs and its an awkward sound.

“Okay,” he says awkwardly. As he passes by Benji, he feels the back of the drummers hand brush over his—this small comfort carries him all the way onto the tour bus.

—

Jessie is firmly asleep in the passenger seat of Tess’ car hours later. Xavier has to lean in and kiss her temple and she doesn’t move when she does. Her cheeks are still pink from the nights excitement. She’d been fawned over, naturally. Xavier hadn’t needed to worry about her on the bus—well, she had crashed from all the candy and at least one red bull, but she’d been taken care of. Had a new hoodie prototype that wasn’t released yet. Signed CD from Ewan. More pictures than she needed of herself and the band.

Tess gives Xavier a hug before she goes. Refuses to answer a single whispered question about what her and Benji had discussed outside—they’d been out there for a while. The entire time Xavier had tried not to press his ear to the bus window and listen.

When the car pulls away, he’s still waving long after it’s gone.

“She’d get along with Saha,” Benji says beside him.

“Which one?” Xavier looks over at him. He has to tilt his head down a little. Benji hasn’t looked up yet, watching that car turn tiny in the distance. Xavier has that urge to pet that hair down, even now. When Benji does look up, he doesn’t manage to get out an answer before he’s being kissed.

It has none of that usual, open mouthed neediness they usually have for each other. When Xavier’s hand touches Benji’s neck, slides up and cups his cheek, they stay soft. There’s not even tongue, just two mouths pressed together in joint, pleasant intimacy. Xavier pulls away and even still, he’s breathing a little harder. Not the kissing that does it. The closeness. His thumb caresses over Beji’s cheekbone.

Then he pulls away and looks up at the night sky. His hand pulls away because he’s awkwardly shoving it into his pocket, his other trying to desperately correct his messy mop of red hair.

“Uh, Benji,” he starts. He risks a glance down, but Benji has pressed in closer, so they’re chest to chest—or rather so that Benji’s chin is notched into his sternum. He looks up at him and makes Xavier’s heart feel too big for his ribcage. Xavier laughs and puts his hand back to Benji’s cheek. “Would, uh,” he starts again and pauses. Benji’s defined brows raise a little. “Are we—uhm.”

Xavier laughs again and folds a hand over Benji’s eyes.

“Please, dude, I can’t handle when you look at me like that.”

“M’not doin’ anythin’—”

“You are looking at me, man. Like, looking at me so hard.”

Xavier’s hand drops away, revealing those dark brown eyes again. The drummers cheeks are a little darker, his skin turning ruddy on his cheekbones. He feels Benji’s arms sliding around his waist, hands dipping into his back pockets so he can’t get away. He doesn’t mind being trapped like that. Outside, in the night air, in an empty parking lot. It reminds him of the first time they ever kissed. The hand he’d used to conceal that beautiful gaze slowly winds into his hair, cups the back of Benji’s skull.

“Are we dating?”

“Yeah,” Benji’s reply is immediate. His smile has gone from it’s usual snarky, crooked grin to something so big and beautiful that Xavier memorizes it instantly. He’ll recall that smile as often as he can, whenever he needs it. Because it’s his, this is his smile, one that Xavier has never seen Benji give to anyone else.

He means to say something sweet or romantic or articulate. But that smile has obliterated any chance of stringing together words. Instead, he leans in—

“Get on the fuckin’ bus, what the fuck?” Lark’s voice cuts out through the parking lot, making them jump. “It’s four in the morning! Bunny is going to fucking kill us!”

Benji laughs, hands squeezing against Xavier’s ass in his pockets and making him jump a little and laugh too. And they continue laughing, even over the loud lead singers laughing—and the only thing that stops that laugh is another kiss until Lark decides he has to step off and physically drag them back.

—

The next day Lark finds them, both sleeping in that shitty top bunk cot that Xavier drew the unlucky short straw. He’s not tall enough to see them directly, but one of Xavier’s pale arms is dangling down and there’s a dark brown one fixed against the side of his friend’s face.

“They can’t be comfortable,” he mumbles as Matilda slides behind him. She’s putting her sleepy nose against his shoulder and kissing the fabric of his shirt.

“He can sleep anywhere.”

“Which he?” Lark watches Xavier’s fingers twitch, wonders if he’s having a good dream.

“Both.” His eyes transfer to his girlfriend as she lounges out on the tour bus couch, one hand over her tired eyes. Her shirt is lifted a little, revealing her pale, pretty hip bones. He spares Xavier and Benji one last thought, in the form of a text message sent to Tess that says ‘THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU FINALLY THANK YOU’ before he slinks his way over to Matilda.

#xavier #benji #xavier x benji #band au #god im insane

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aisquaredchoco · 10 months

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Get to know you - Sims Style

Thank you @bioniczombie, @puffkins2000, and @bast-sims for tagging me! also @twinsimming for mentioning me as one of your favorites! 😍😭

What’s your favorite Sims death?

I like the old age death in TS2 the most, especially with the dancing hulas alongside the grim reaper

Alpha CC or Maxis Match?

I'm mostly MM, but wouldn't completely disregard alpha as long as they aren't ridiculously that high poly

Do you cheat your sims weight?

not really, but I also don't make them overeat so they don't gain much weight

Do you move objects?

OF COURSE I DO! I won't live without this cheat..😅

Favorite Mod?

I have a lot on my mind, but I'll mention this one game changing mod I couldn't play without (well besides the NRaas ones that are the staple TS3 mods everyone should have), which is the Set the table/call to meal mod by icarus_allsorts.

First Expansion/Game Pack/Stuff Pack?

uhh..Livin' Large I guess? I couldn't recall if it was from a deluxe edition or something..

Do you pronounce live mode like aLIVE or LIVing?

the second one, for sure. I always thought the first one was more associated with tv and news, at least here on where I live..

Who’s your favorite sim that you’ve made?

Quistis Trepe, no one else. She holds a place in my heart because of the metamorphosis she went through while making her. I swear my initial version of her was total crap (I just couldn't show since I already deleted the MTS Creator Feedback post) but here she is now..

Have you made a simself?

um, yeah. I wasn't going to, but I already made a sim version of my cat so I think I need to make his servant hooman a sim as well..

Which is your favorite EA hair color?

ehh...I know this is a thing in 2 and 4. But I play 3 so nothing specific..color wheel for the win! 😆

Favorite EA hair?

I always like Jennifer Burb's hair from TS2 a lot, I wish TS3 implemented curly hairs like that..

Favorite life stage?

I like playing with teens. more drama happening in the household 😜

Are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay?

I think I'm more inclined with building and creating cc, but I still find time playing whenever I feel like it..

Are you a CC creator?

yes I am!...and still learning as I make more stuff.

Do you have any Simblr friends or a Sim Squad?

as an introvert, I seldomly (and find it extra hard to) interact with people but I try to be as friendly as I can be and I think I already made friends with some simblrs. but I don't know if I consider myself a member of a sim squad..

Do you have any sims merch?

nope

Do you have a Youtube for sims?

nopenope

Who’s your favorite CC creator?

*breathes nervously* 😨😩 I've been avoiding this question because I have many to mention, and if I do I might leave someone out. and personally I don't like the feeling of being left out so I don't want to make someone feel like that as well. so sorry if I have to skip this question..😔

How long have you had Simblr?

I had this account for like 8 years but only became an active simblr on 2020 starting with sharing lots for download until today, where I'm also posting 2to3/4to3 conversions and EA object edits along with some random screenshots from my game..

How do you edit your pictures?

most of the time I post my pictures unedited, except for adding some text using Photoshop. I only did edit a picture once using some filters from Win10's picture editor and that's about it.

What expansion/gamepack is your favorite?

TS2's Bon Voyage wins for me. I like the travelling aspect of it, and beach lots of course! I still remember how excited I was when watching my sims actually swim on the beach. Up to now I still wish World Adventures was as exciting as that..

Since I did this already late, most of you might've been tagged already. But if you're not yet tagged and saw this, consider yourself tagged!

#kinda sims #tag game #thanks for the tag!

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kashmiresims · 8 months

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26 Sims questions

I forgot if I was tagged or I just saw this and decided I was in the mood to answer questions so copied it and poked it in my drafts for some reason. Now it's being published. 1.What’s your favourite sims death?

I don't have a favorite type but I guess my favorites death of one of my sims was in an alternate timeline when Adriana Cosgrove just had a baby, was exhausted, starving and tried to make some toaster pastries and caught the kitchen on fire and I wasn't quite sure if she died from burning or starvation. That save borked so I had to back up three months before when she was alive and she avoided that fate and is now an elder, and went on to have a third child.

2. Alpha CC or Maxis Match?

A healthy mix. I tend to lean more toward Alpha in Skin, Eyes, and Hairs. Clothes I can do either, furniture I tend to go for either as well.

3. Do you cheat when your sims gain weight?

No, I make them use the gym. I downloaded those gyms for a reason. I'm going to use them damn it!

4. Do you use move objects?

Always.

5. Favorite mod?

The Sim Blender is quantifiably my favorite for how much I use it.

6. First expansion/game/stuff pack you got?

Nightlife! I skipped Uni and bought NL for my sister (and also for me)

7. Do you pronounce “live mode” like aLIVE or LIVing?

aLIVE mode.

8. Who’s your favorite sim that you’ve made?

Fuck, 16 years later I probably have at least a top five that switches around every month. Let's say Amelia Calhoun (formerly Wellington) I have a ton of pictures of her sprinkled throughout this blog over the years. She's obsessed with the ocean.

9. Have you made a simself?

Of course, when I first started out playing. Who hasn't?

10. What sim traits do you give yourself?

None. I don't play with Traits.

11. Which is your favorite EA hair color?

Brown, I guess. EAxis hair colors I really don't like or use but if I have to it would be the brown as it doesn't stick out as much.

12. Favorite EA hair?

The shaggy male hair that was the epitome of 'cool' and 'hot' in 2005

13. Favorite life stage?

Teen probably. Mostly for that's when their characters start really emerging for me as a player. Functionally, I think an adult is my favorite age stage.

14. Are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay?

I'm a player/sotryteller first and foremost but I get into building kicks.

15. Are you a CC creator?

I've made it before. Will probably make some again.

16. Do you have any simblr friends/a sim squad?

I'm friendly with a lot of simmers on simblr, and interact with them in other sims areas on the internet like Discord, the FB group, or Twitch and Twitter.

17. What’s your favorite game? (1, 2, 3, or 4)

Sims 2 unequivocally. There is only room for 2 in my life.

18. Do you have any sims merch?

Nope.

19. Do you have a YouTube for sims?

Yes. It's all I do on my youtube.

20. How has your “sim style” changed throughout your years of playing?

It's gotten a lot more...detailed? I tend to like plan and play out scenarios

21. What’s your Origin ID?

I don't have Origin.

22. Who’s your favorite CC creator?

There are so many and so many are extra super talented I feel like I would slight someone if I stated only one.

23. How long have you had a simblr?

Since 2012.

24. How do you edit your pictures?

On befunky.com or Photoshop.

25. What expansion/game/stuff pack do you want next?

Sims 2 shall have none. My next hope for a modding breakthrough is choosing seasonal casual clothing so that the game will show a sim on the lot in their seasonally appropriate casual wear. Good for places with different climates because who wants to see someone in long sleeves who lives in a temperate subhood, in the summery desert?

26. What expansion/game/stuff pack is your favorite so far?

Seasons, probably.

#self simming #text

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unknownjpegs · 3 months

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siblings

“Enjoyed is an oversimplification—I think she lost her fucking mind.” Tess nudges Jessie with an elbow, which makes her little sister swat at her in typical little sister fashion.

“Is that Tess fucking Wolffe?” Lark jumps from the tour bus stairs, landing deftly into a jog.

Are you at that stage? Xavier wonders. Where everything seems to be embarrassing and awkward. He pets her hair again, turning away from Lark chattering Tess’ ear off to face Matilda.

“Matilda, but my friends call me—”

“Mati,” Jess answers, eagerly scooping that hand up and shaking it with enthusiasm. “I’ve watched your interviews.”

“Whose tired?” Matilda’s arms sling over Jessie’s shoulders, pulling her in for a backward hug. “I’m not tired.”

“Mouse,” Xavier’s voice becomes low, threatening. He watches the door to the bus swing open. His heart skips a little at the peak of a brown hand.

“Oh relax,” Tess says, waving them on. “Like Matilda’s gonna let anything bad happen.”

“Come smoke with me,” Xavier says, grabbing her elbow and twisting her around toward the back of the bus.

—

“Sorry, it’s all I have.”

“I forgot she was such a big fan,” Xavier admits as he passes the vape back to Tess, who promptly hits it and billows white, thick vapor. “Even before Lark got me the job.”

“Why are you trying to keep me from meeting Benji?”

The vape clatters to the ground, making Xavier swear and instantly dive to pick it up.

“I dunno what you mean—”

“Uh,” he laughs. “He’s tired. That’s all. After a show, he has to ice his hands and do like—stretches for them. It’s rough.”

“Oh,” Tess draws the word out, nodding. “Stretches.” She lifts her hands and splays them out. “How so?”

“Like this.” He imitates Benji’s routine hand stretches, shakes them out when he’s done.

“Fascinating. Does he have a favorite color?”

“I think it’s green.” Tess snorts, making Xavier frown and pull at his hands again.

“And how does he take his tea?” She asks, shoulder knocking into his.

“What? Sue me. It’s fun watching you talk about him in person.”

“It reminds me of Dara. You haven’t dated anyone since then—”

And thinking about her makes him think about the marines and makes him think of things he keeps trying not to think about.

“I just want to at least meet the fucking guy you’re dating, Xavier.”

“Well, I would like to make sure he’s cool.”

“He’s a drummer, of course he’s cool.”

“I want to make sure he’s kind. And I want to know what he’s like and make sure that—”

“Why are you being so fucking weird right now, Tess?”

“What do you mean?”

Tess’s arms unfold and all the anger in her seems to slice off like water wicked away. She reaches out, like an offering and Xavier’s cheeks go hot as he puts his in hers. She squeezes it.

“You think I’m worried about you because you have PTSD?”

Xavier hisses, stepping toward her.

“Don’t say that so loud.”

“Hi,” Benji raises a hand. Xavier makes a strange noise in reply and then clears his throat.

“Were you—”

“No, just stepped out.”

“This is Theresa.” He gestures awkwardly as she slides around the bus. “She goes by—”

“Okay,” he says awkwardly. As he passes by Benji, he feels the back of the drummers hand brush over his—this small comfort carries him all the way onto the tour bus.

—

When the car pulls away, he’s still waving long after it’s gone.

“She’d get along with Saha,” Benji says beside him.

Then he pulls away and looks up at the night sky. His hand pulls away because he’s awkwardly shoving it into his pocket, his other trying to desperately correct his messy mop of red hair.

Xavier laughs again and folds a hand over Benji’s eyes.

“Please, dude, I can’t handle when you look at me like that.”

“M’not doin’ anythin’—”

“You are looking at me, man. Like, looking at me so hard.”

“Are we dating?”

He means to say something sweet or romantic or articulate. But that smile has obliterated any chance of stringing together words. Instead, he leans in—

“Get on the fuckin’ bus, what the fuck?” Lark’s voice cuts out through the parking lot, making them jump. “It’s four in the morning! Bunny is going to fucking kill us!”

—

“They can’t be comfortable,” he mumbles as Matilda slides behind him. She’s putting her sleepy nose against his shoulder and kissing the fabric of his shirt.

“He can sleep anywhere.”

“Which he?” Lark watches Xavier’s fingers twitch, wonders if he’s having a good dream.

#writing #hj #band au #2023 #xw #bp #tw #bp x xw

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rainydawgradioblog · 5 months

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DJ EMI’s Notes On The Show: Haunting Night(s) With The Garden

An Autumn tour for The Garden is practically tradition now.

About a month ago I trekked downtown to The Showbox to see The Garden on their second night playing in Seattle. The duo from Orange County, CA, has been popular in my personal live show-going history.

The first time I saw The Garden I drove east to Idaho (everywhere else was sold out). This was hands down their best show. It was the 2021 Kiss My Superbowl Ring tour, for their–at the time–new album of the same name (one of their best albums, in my rainy dawg DJ opinion). I had lost my Garden virginity, and the venue was a small one so my friend and I were up close with Wyatt and Fletcher Shears. Good merch, too: I have two stickers I have yet to and probably will never use sitting in a cigar box from this show.

My second time seeing the Garden was in Portland, OR at the Midtown Ballroom, a beautiful go-to for live performances. The venue was insanely crowded, however, and got pungent. This was fitting, considering the Portland show was a stop on the tour for the Garden’s newest album Horseshit on Route 66. Machine Girl opened for this show, which I was ecstatic about. But, the live show was a bit of a let down–I feel like they forgot to do soundcheck. It was so distorted and loud it was just noise, which now that I think about it, was probably on purpose because we’re talking about Machine Girl, I’m not sure.

The journey to the free water was a trek through a clown-filled haunted house–one where the population is sweaty as hell and shouts profanities when you bump shoulders.

I think now would be a good time to address the stereotypical Garden fan. They’re under 21, have absolutely no concert etiquette, an average screen time of 15 hours, and listen to nothing else besides bladee or some sort of hyperpop. Sadly I cannot say this isn’t true, although I like to think of myself as an exception here–I am 19, though, but I promise I have never listened to 100 gecs. I am, however, a big fan of The Garden.

Now, for this year, the third annual fall tour. No new albums were dropped, so the setlist was a nice mix of past releases, but it still rocked the Showbox. Show Me The Body opened with a grueling symphony, and the Garden a haunting one. I’m not totally sure who the other opener was because I was only there for about 5 minutes of it, but I was not a fan. Autotuned moans of some liberty-spiked motherfucker in a japanese school girl costume wasn’t my vibe, so in all honesty I loitered in the bathroom until it was over with.

After one incoherent teen being pulled out of the mosh pit by security, four “HUH?”s uttered because you can't quite hear your friend’s comment, and six classical music tracks played before the Garden comes on (happens every time) later, The room filled with fog (like the fog machine guy needed to get a grip, it looked like we were hotboxing the Showbox) and a ghostly laugh echoed. The voice of the narrator in a spooky story is heard… and The Garden appears through the fog! I got up close despite being an hour late, and had such a good time I only took this shitty picture (below). While the audience kind of sucks, Wyatt and Fletcher never fail to meld their music into an absolutely spellbinding show. After all, what else can they be but jesters?

By DJ EMI

#seattle #the garden

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heirbane · 1 year

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When I was a preteen, I got a hold of P.eta teen propaganda. They did an excellent job in making me, barely 12, believe that eating meat was a black and white issue: their colorful videos and flash games painted a very convincing picture. Their "activism" for teens seemed cool and edgy and I wanted to save animals, so I ate it up greedily.

It wasn't until I was 14 that I learned what p.eta truly did. That they spoke out one side of their mouth and acted another way: that they euthanized more animals than they saved. It was a front. I was crushed, but I had no way to know better. I was young and impressionable and the internet was still a hellscape at the time. Finding facts was difficult.

When I turned 16, I found out about T.o Write L.ove on H.er Arms. I did not learn from my previous pure heart. I wanted to save people. I wanted to do good in the world, and their website and merch painted a picture I wanted to be a part of. I donated. I got involved in their fundraising.

It wasn't until I was nearly into college that I learned they were anti trans and anti lgbt. They stood on a pedestal of acceptance - but only for those they picked and chose, pretending to be holy and wholly good. They weren't. I had raised money and proudly worn merch for two years. I wanted them to be good.

I wanted both of them to be good. I was willingly blind because I was so eager to do good things with myself.

Gaius was scarcely 13 when he enrolled in the military for Garlemald. His brain - and my brain - wouldn't fully mature our mid twenties, well over a decade's worth of positive, rosy propaganda being fed into us by media. Mine was the goodwill of a knock-off A.SPCA and a false set of open arms: his was an empire, fathered by a man who truly didn't care for anything but his own ancient wants.

I was able to recover and remove myself from the sticky-sweet call of people and organizations who pretended to be good because I had ways out and information, eventually, to tell me how things truly were. In the icy isolation of Garlemald, Gaius had nothing: he had radios, crooning their successes in feral, wild city-states; he had newspapers, showing off their current wins and the top people in the military to aspire to; and he had his commanders, who followed the Empire's ruling to the end of the line.

There was no escaping, and he saw no reason for them to be wrong. Garlemald, and the Empire, were doing the right thing: for decades, this was what he believed. It was not until closer to the end of his tenure as Legatus that the facade and steel veneer of his belief system began to crumble and rust.

Midas suffered. His people suffered in blissful ignorance. Cid suffered, and his defection made Gaius finally see a break in the ice, a sunny sky beyond the evergreens, a way out.

He had never imagined the need for one, and so it simply had never existed. But now, with the creation of the Black Rose, with the realization that his Emperor had no true nuance, the crack in the ice began to chip and grow, the sunshine melting the snowy biome of his belief system.

(How long had he been wrong? How long had he been blind? How long was it willingly so?)

But wanting things to be different - and standing up against acts they took now - would not change what he did, nor what I did. I supported two organizations I believed would change the world: he grew up and was groomed by his homeland to do what he thought was right. Gaius was simply doing as he was told and had no reason to believe it was the wrong direction to go.

Now, as a 56 year old man, there are regrets. The people he commanded - the savages he took under his wing - were no different to their kin in Eorzea. The blood he spilled and those he massacred bled red just as his own people, furthering the agenda of an Emperor who wanted nothing more than to recreate a life he once had lived eons and eons ago.

Solus had no true love for his people. Garleans, like Eorzeans, were simply shards of who he used to know, fragments of a life he lived, and his people were little more than ants in a maze, pieces of a bigger puzzle. Varis was groomed to be just the same, a shadow of his father's wishes to eradicate the barbarians.

Varis and Gaius were doing the wrong thing for the right reasons. There is nothing innately wrong with believing in your home, or it's government, or doing it's bidding: there is nothing inherently evil with being a cornered dog, a people shunned who finally had the teeth to fight back.

The evilness of he Empire lied with Solus, and later Zenos. But that does not mean Varis or Gaius were good people: it does not mean their sins cease existing. But it gives them reason and purpose, turning their black-and-white ideology into grays and silvers, and turns them into what we fear villains to be the most:

human.

#ⅩⅣ tertius oculus ( hcs. )#ⅩⅣ loci phantasma ( ooc. )#turned reblog off bc this isn't meant to be a Thing just a consideration i have abt g.aius and his past #heaven forbid the v.egans or something find this and reblog it

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theswarmanthology · 2 years

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Em, 30s, USA

"i've been part of the fandom since 2004. as much as the band has shaped parts of my life and my outlook on the world, the fandom has as well. i've made wonderful friends, read books i otherwise wouldn't know about, pursued art, and become a better artist in general because of the friends i've made in the community. this community taught me compassion for sex workers (who were also in the fandom at the time) when i was 16 and living in a very conservative household; my friends and acquaintances encouraged my growth and exploration as an artist; and, in adulthood, i've gotten to travel to places i otherwise probably wouldn't have gone just to meet my friends in person. i don't participate in many other fan communities, but this one has, without a doubt, been a formative part of my life."

Fast Facts: How long have you been a fan?: 9+ years Did you get to see MCR live before this tour?: Yes, I saw them before the breakup in 2013 How many shows on this tour did you attend in total?: 2-4 Favorite album: I have more than one favorite album Show experience out of 10: 10 Did you cry at your show?: No

Which date of the tour did you attend? 09/13/22, Little Caesars Arena, Detroit

When did you get your tickets for your show? Was it a struggle, or were they easy to grab? they were gifted to me for free by someone else in the fandom. i'm incredibly grateful.

Did you attend with anyone else? solo

What did you wear? all black + a covid-protection mask

Where were your seats? i was in the seats, but pretty close to the pit, on mikey and frank's side

What was your favorite song(s) from the setlist they played at your show? foundations of decay, give em hell kid, house of wolves, the world is ugly, famous last words

What song were you most hoping to hear? Did you get to hear it? how i disappear - they didn't play it at this show

What was your favorite moment from the show? two favorite moments: 1. gerard's nurse outfit and 2. when they played helena (i almost cried, which was pretty unexpected)

What was the most unexpected moment from the show? almost crying at helena

Did you snag any merch? What pieces? i got the SWARM hoodie

Many fans describe seeing MCR live as feeling like coming home. Did you experience anything like that at your show? it felt more like a continuation of one of the most important parts of my life than it did like 'coming home'. they, and there music, have been part of my life for almost 20 years at this point. there's no nostalgia in it for me, nor did i feel like i was ever 'away' from them. it felt like a new, special chapter, and i'm so grateful i get to add that to my life.

If you could change one thing about your show experience, what would it be? nothing

Has your perspective or opinion about the band changed since seeing them on this tour? If so, in what way? nothing has really changed, so much as i feel like they've grown as people in parallel to me changing as a person. i'm younger than them, but i literally grew up with them and with their music; they've been part of so many important life stages for me from my teen years to my 30s. i'm so grateful they exist, and equally grateful that i fell in love with them when i did.

What advice would you give to people seeing My Chemical Romance in the future? none particularly. enjoy it. talk to the people around you if you want to. you'll have a great time <3

Anything we didn't ask that you feel obliged to share or talk about? i had a moment of trans magic happen at the detroit show. i went by myself and, by happenstance, ended up in a seat next to another trans person around my age. we clocked each other and shared our joy about our queerness, and about MCR, and about getting to see them live again. when i was growing up, and when i came out in my late teenage years, i quite literally had no one who understood what was happening to me, and very very few adults who accepted my transness. like so many people, MCR was crucial to me figuring out how to articulate my transness, i'm very glad to see so many younger people in the fandom find each other and be able to share joy in creating themselves in whatever ways they want to be while sharing a community with other trans and gnc people. it was a much lonelier road for me at the time that i came out. no one that i knew in the fandom was trans, and certainly no one in my immediate life as a teenager was trans. i'm lucky to have had supportive friends both in and out of the fandom, but it felt like a really special blessing to meet someone, by completely random chance, who was both trans and part of my generation, at the show where gerard walked on stage dressed as a nurse. MCR cast some kind of special spell that night, and it gave me a moment of recognition and joy that i'll never forget.

Thanks, Em!

#story #09/13/22 #mcrdetroit

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sosowrites · 2 years

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CHAPTER ONE: [CITY]

The screams were deafening. The crowd was faceless. There were a sea of hands reaching up, reaching towards the stage. I couldn’t focus on anyone specific, seeing hands and tears and phones pointed at me, constantly taking photos. When phrased like this, it sounded like a nightmare, didn’t it? Yet it wasn’t. This was my dream; to be on stage, to be singing to a crowd and have every single person in this room to be into it. This was exactly what I fought for, worked hard for. This was my everything.

I gripped the microphone, tipping my head back as I let the last note of the song echo into the silence of the music. I grinned to the crowd and shouted, “Thank you so much! I love you all!” It sounded like such a line but it wasn’t. I was nothing without these people. The crowd screamed more as I walked off stage. Darryn was already there, patting my shoulder and handing me a bottle of water. I downed it quickly. The crowd was already chanting for an encore.

“Great job!” Darryn said, “Take a moment before going back out there.” An encore. I remember being just an opener and watching the headline get an encore and want nothing more than that to be me. I wanted people to chant “one more song!” over and over again. I wanted their screams when I strolled back on stage. I always wanted to get back out there right away.

I forced myself to wait, standing far enough that I could see the crowd but they couldn’t see me. The lights were still down. Our silence promise that we would come back to finish the show in a way that would stay with them.

“If it was up to you, we’d be out there already, wouldn’t we?” Aaron asked, stepping up next to me. A beer bottle hung loosely in his fingers. He took a drink. He knew I wouldn’t have one until later. Not until the work was done for the night. I kept watching the crowd.

“I exist out there,” I replied. Aaron was one of the original band members, back when we were pre-teens, mucking around on cheap guitars and writing songs about fucking and whatever else teenaged boys think about. He saw my evolution of just messing with the guitar to loving music to the dream of making music for a living. He also saw my evolution of getting kicked out of the house in tenth grade, to living in my car for a couple of weeks before he figured it out and let me move in with him. He knew every part of me.

He put an arm around me and leaned in, “You exist.” Without this. Off stage. Alone in my room. I knew what he meant. I existed. That was my first tattoo: “I exist”. He whispered those words to me too many times. Still I felt most alive when I was out there.

Aaron’s brother, Dayton, came up to the other side of me. This was his first tour with us. Our last bass player decided that our schedule was too much and this wasn’t the road for him. Dayton, who had been touring with us already as our merch guy, had volunteered to be our bass player for a show or two. Dayton was amazing on the bass but he was shy as fuck. His very first show, he stood there the first entire song, forgetting everything. We improvised. I started singing “Bring me to life” by Evanescence, knowing that would get him moving. He tore his gaze from the crowd and began to play, watching me as I sang Amy Lee’s part. There were no hiccups after that song and Dayton’s one or two shows turned into the rest of the tour.

“You ready?” Dayton asked. I nodded. I was always ready. Aaron finished his beer and set the bottle down. He leaned over and smooched my cheek.

“You two are insane,” he said with a laugh. He went to get his guitar. I bounced up and down on my toes. I was ready. Aaron got out there first and the screams grew deafening again. He stood in the centre of the stage, playing a guitar solo. That was his dream; to be able to stand in the centre of the stage and just play. Sometimes it wasn’t even a song we were going to come back to. Sometimes it was just something he was working on or something he was making up on the spot. Our drummer, Leon, slipped out next, waiting for Aaron’s sign to start weaving the beat into whatever he was doing. Dayton waited next to me, his fingers drumming against the bass. I knew he was nervous. I had no idea how he was nervous. The crowd loved him. They screamed for him too. He glanced at me, a weak smile, then headed out, stepping up to his brother and adding his own flair to whatever Aaron was making up. The three of them just played off each other, not a song that I knew, just them jamming, having fun. They were creating fucking magic. I almost didn’t want to go out there.

Dayton looked back towards me. Was I coming? Of course. They just sounded so damn good. I grabbed my mic and ran out there, letting the screams and cheers wash over me. The three slid into the beginning of our first encore song. We always did two; the first one was always a cover, usually Evanescence since Dayton joined, and then our latest single. Tonight it was going to be Everybody’s Fool. I smiled at Dayton as I sang, rewarded with a smile back. I turned back to the crowd. This? This was pure happiness.

~*~

It was late. The show was over. The fans had gone home. Our equipment was packed up. The cheers had faded. My phone was pinging. The fans were posting their reviews, their photos, their moments. I would grab my phone later and like and repost some of those. Right now, I was in mourning. We were all on the bus now. Aaron and Leon were drinking and playing some game that had them laughing loudly. They wouldn’t be going to bed for a while.

I was in bed, lying on top of the sheets. My hair was wet, fresh from the shower. I was pretty sure I didn’t smell like sweat anymore. The scent of the show was washed off. I stared up at the bunk on top of me. The wall I had taped up the pictures and letters from fans. They helped me through the night. The moments between shows. Between breaths of music. The bus would move soon. We’d head onto to the next destination and tomorrow we’d do it all over again. I shouldn’t be mourning. I should be out in the front with Aaron and Leon. Yet I always crashed after a show. The energy gone. The magic faded. I would join them later. Or so I told myself.

“Hey,” Dayton stepped into the back of the bus, where the bunks were, “Sorry I’m calling so late… yeah, I know. Sorry. I know it’s a work night… Yeah. No. I just wanted to - no, I really couldn’t have called earlier. This was the first chance - yeah. Okay. I’ll call tomorrow… yeah. Earlier if I can. Love you.” I heard him sigh and then sit down. I hesitated, sliding the curtain to my bunk open a bit.

“Woke Laura up?” I asked. Dayton startled then nodded.

“Sorry, I thought - actually, I had no idea where you were. Am I disturbing you?” I shook my head. Dayton needed a shower. He had washed his face but his makeup was still smudged. He probably smelt like sweat and dry ice. He probably still had magic on him.

“No,” I said, “Just wounding down. You want to join me?” Dayton hesitated. He always did.

“I should go shower,” he said. His first excuse. Always.

“Or you could join me and talking to me about Laura.”

“It was nothing.” His second excuse. Always.

“Then why do you look so upset?” Dayton sighed then pushed the curtain back. The bunk wasn’t big enough for two people but we always made it fit. I pressed my back against the wall, lying on my side. He climbed in, lying on his side, facing me. I would lean over him, closing the curtain. He did smell like the stage. I knew he would.

“She’s mad,” Dayton said, sighing softly. I felt his breath against me. There wasn’t much light in the bunk now. I had stuck glow in the dark stars on the wall behind the pillow but they didn’t give any real light. He reached for my hand, linking our fingers together.

“She’s always mad,” I pointed out. She told Dayton not to come on tour. She knew how much he loved music and she knew that once he got on stage, he’d love it so much more. He had helped us arrange some songs and he was on our second album, even if he didn’t do the tour directly after. Those songs didn’t sound the same without him. Laura wanted Dayton to stay home. More than that, she wanted Dayton to work her father’s business, wear a suit, and sit in a cubicle 9-5 every day. She wanted to move in with Dayton, which they had talked about doing until I had swept him away. Laura pretty much hated me. Then again, to her, I was everything that was wrong in this world.

“No, she’s not,” Dayton said, “She just misses me. I understand that. I miss her too. I hate that I barely get to talk to her. She hates that our next day off,” in two days, “is across the country and I can’t go home. She,” Dayton paused, “An apartment came up that she really liked but she doesn’t want to put in first and last unless I can see it. Or, at least, you know, be able to spend some time with her,” he paused again, “I haven’t told her that I’m going with you guys for the European tour.” That tour I couldn’t wait for. It was our second time and we were hitting more countries and more venues. We’d be gone for an entire month. We had two weeks between this tour and Europe and it felt like two weeks too long. Our management team insisted, claiming that we would get burnt out if we didn’t take longer breaks.

“Why not?” I asked. He wasn’t deciding not to be a part of it suddenly, was he? What an utterly selfish thought. His dream wasn’t music. He could leave at any time and go back to his real life. This was just a detour for him.

“She’ll be mad then,” Dayton said, “I get it. I really do. This is really hard on her. She thought we’d be living together. She probably thought there would be a ring in her future. She was telling me about how Britney, her best friend, asked her to be her maid of honour. She sort of dropped that she thought that the two of them would be getting married together. Like planning their wedding together sort of thing. And here I am, on the road, moving further from her instead of closer.” That was literal, wasn’t it? We were, literally, heading away from home.

“Do you want to go on this tour?” I asked, “I appreciate you more than you can ever know for staying on this one. I know it was supposed to be temporary.” Dayton laughed lightly. He moved slightly closer to me, letting go of my hand and resting his hand on my hip.

“I never thought I’d be able to do a show. I was certain when I froze up and you walked over, you were going to tell me just to get off the stage. Instead you sang a song that wasn’t on the set list but you knew would get me to, well, wake up. And you played Evanescence every show since. And, honestly? I love it up there. That hour when there is nothing but music. There are no… angry girlfriends or confusing thoughts or bills or anything really. Just music. I’m not ready to give that up yet. Any of it.”

“Confusing thoughts?” I asked. We had skirted this conversation before. Dayton always seemed to snap back to reality before we actually talked. I didn’t push him. It felt like I pushed him in enough ways.

“Yeah,” his voice was soft. He moved closer to me, hooking his foot with mine. He leaned forward and brushed his lips against mine, kissing me gently. Every time he did this I wanted to tell him that we shouldn’t. I wanted to tell him that he needed to figure out his shit with Laura first. Yet I also knew what this was; he was lonely. The road could be lonely. He missed his girlfriend and it wasn’t that I was a good enough substitute but wasn’t that what I was? I was someone he could trust to just let go for a bit. Dayton kissed me deeper, parting his lips to lick at my mouth.

“Like how much I fucking like you,” he whispered against my mouth, “and how much I want to break up with Laura but how afraid I am. That this isn’t real. That once it becomes real, it will slip away. That if this was real, what if it hurt the band? I don’t want to hurt you. I never want to hurt you. I think I am. Every time I do this.” He kissed me again. He had never said so much to me before. He never told me liked me, not like that. That he wanted this to be real. He would kiss me. We would kiss until we thought Aaron or Leon would come to bed and then he would slip out and climb up to the bunk above me. Then I’d spend an hour staring at the bunk on top of me, wondering if he was emailing Laura, telling her how much he loved her, just to erase his guilt.

“Day.” I don’t know how to finish that. I don’t know what to say. I don’t want to be the reason why him and Laura don’t work out. I don’t want to be the reason he can’t go back to reality when he’s done here. He kissed me again, saving me from trying to figure out what to say. He pushed me against the wall. It’s the type of kiss that your whole body feels. The type that you think of when you think of love or something else equally ridiculous. This isn’t love, however. Dayton does not love me.

I reached and pushed him back. I don’t need light to know he’s staring at me, confused. He’s confused. I’m confused. I’m already mourning. I don’t want more. Not tonight. It’s too late for me but maybe I can stop it from getting worse.

“Don’t,” I said, “I don’t want - I’m not…” Why can’t I speak tonight? I took a deep breath. For a moment, I could be on stage me, couldn’t I? Just pretend and have all the confidence in the world, instead of just regular me. In mourning me. Dayton watched me.

“What do you want? Is this real for you too?” Yes. No. I didn’t know. The words fell out before I could stop myself.

“It can’t be. Not as long as you are with her. Not as long as this exists in secret. It can’t be real.” Dayton pulled back and fell off the bunk. I should move. See if he was alright. I could hear him get up.

“Okay.” He walked away. Aaron called out his name. I laid back on my bed, staring up. I exist. I deserved more, didn’t I? I deserved to be more than a secret, a part of someone’s else’s wind down routine? I grabbed my phone. Time to start sharing people’s happy memories.

CHAPTER TWO: [CITY]

Brooklyn and Aaron had an interview this afternoon, which meant they would be busy until sound check. Which meant I had time. I had woken up early, before the sun had even risen and everyone was still snoring. I headed out to the living area, ate a bowl of cereal and watched the road go by. We’d probably get to our destination in a couple of hours and by then I should probably figure out what the hell I was doing. Last night was a mess. I could hear what Brooklyn was saying and I didn't listen. He deserved more.

Leon was the first one up. He pulled a pre-made smoothie from the fridge and sat down next to me. He raised an eyebrow at me. Leon was Deaf. He wore cochlear implant and was alright at lip reading. We all worked at learning sign language for Leon. Which I shouldn’t say for Leon because he was the reason why we began but it was actually really interesting. It was very expressive, as was Leon, who was still giving me that look that demanded an answer.

“What?” I said and signed.

“You look upset,” he signed, “What’s going on? Everything okay with you and Laura?” I sighed. I really wanted to look away and just pretend I didn’t see the question at all. I glanced down the bus towards where the bunks were. Brooklyn and Aaron were still sleeping. It was just the two of us.

“You had a girlfriend when you started touring. Why you two break up?” I asked. I may not have been a part of the band for long but I had been around them forever. I had been listening to Brooklyn play with songs before they were even a band.

“I cheated on her,” Leon replied, “I regret it still. It was our first tour and that feeling of being a celebrity? Someone was flirting with me, I had too many drinks and I slept with her. What I regret more is that I didn’t feel guilty at the time. I felt like I was a celebrity and that is what they did and why not? I was on my first tour! So I called her and told her and told her that I wanted to play it open. So we broke up and it wasn’t until we were home and I wanted to call her and just hang out did I realize what an asshole thing I did. I did call her. We talked. She forgave me. She was always a better person than I was,” he tilted his head slightly, “So trouble with you and Laura?”

“Kind of. I should just call her and talk to her. Or. Actually, I was thinking of flying her out here for tomorrow’s show. We then have a couple days off. We could just see where we are,” I said. It sounded stupid to me. I knew where I was. I think. I knew that I wasn’t being faithful and she deserved someone who loved her with his entire heart.

“Do you think seeing her will change things?” Leon asked, “Or do you want to fly her out and end it face-to-face?” Leon was never one to beat around the bush. He got up and rinsed his smoothie container, giving me a moment to think about it. I glanced out the window. We were in a city now. We were probably close. Aaron would be getting up soon. Brooklyn would be getting up soon too. Brooklyn was notoriously bad for getting up, stumbling out without a shirt on and flopping on the couch. He was not a morning person. I did not want to see that this morning.

“Breaking up over the phone sucks,” I said, “Besides, we have been together since high school. I owe her-“

“You owe her honesty but that's it,” Leon said, “Just like you owe yourself honesty to why you are breaking up with her. Tour life is hard and I know you aren’t sure about Europe yet. Being across the world won’t be easier. But will you regret it if she’s not there for you to return home to?” Leon smiled softly then headed back towards the bunks.

I was grateful when the bus parked and we were able to get off. Brooklyn was still not up and I snuck back to change into some running gear and go for a run. There was a place not far and I put in my earbuds and started running. Brooklyn said being on stage was the most freeing thing in the world and I got that. I think running was just a bit more freeing. Or maybe just differently freeing.

I turned my music on and began to run, letting my head empty of thoughts as I focused on the music and the thumping of my feet against the pavement. I ran until I began to get tired. I should turn around before I got too lost and too tired. There would be no time for a nap when I got back. We’d have to do soundcheck and then there was meet and greet, which I was always horrible at. I never knew what to say to fans. I was grateful that most gravitated to Brooklyn, Aaron and Leon because they were the original three. I was new. Yet there were always fans that made a bee line to me and wanted to talk.

My phone buzzed and I saw it was Laura calling. I owed her, and me, honesty.

“Hey,” I answered the phone. I slowed my run to a jog and then a quick walk.

“You sound out of breath. Are you busy?” Laura asked.

“Just doing my run,” I answered, “I have time. How are you?” Every word sounded fake to me. I started to loop back. I should get going.

“Tired. Someone called me late last night,” I couldn’t tell if she was mad or teasing, “I miss you, Day. I know you only have a couple of days off but do you think you could come home? I could just spend time with my boyfriend?” She said it like we never saw each other. It had been a few weeks. Should I feel the same way? Was I grateful for the time apart? No, not really. It confused me.

“Day? You still there?” How long did I space out? Fuck.

“Yeah, sorry. I was thinking of seeing if you wanted to fly out here. Come for the show. Then we can explore the city together.” It sounded a lot more romantic than I felt. God, was I a terrible person? Laura and I had been together for years. I loved her. I did. Yet how could I claim that?

“Dayton, I can’t just take the time off with no warning. You know how busy we are. I wish for five minutes you thought about me and my life,” Laura huffed. I slowed down to a walk.

“I do think about you and your life. And our life,” I said, “I think about us a lot. And.” Fuck. I didn’t want to do this on the phone. I didn’t know what I was supposed to here. How was I supposed have this conversation?

“Do you?” Laura pressed, “I'm sorry. I’m just… stressed with work and all I want to do is go home and curl up with you. Instead we don’t have the home we imagined and the closest I get is seeing Brooklyn reposting all these photos of you looking amazing on stage and then you calling me in the middle of the night. It’s not the same. It’s- I keep telling myself that you’ll be home in a few weeks and then we can go back to how things were but… even then you were gone for weeks at a time. It's just different this time, Day. It's different and I want you home.”

“I am going to go to Europe with them.” The words fell out of my mouth before I could figure out how to say it nicely, “I love performing. I love being in this band.”

“More than us?” Laura asked. I stopped. I should have seen that coming. I shouldn’t have been surprised by the question but I was. The fact she asked and everything else, I knew that it was over between us.

“I don’t love what we have become,” I said softly, “I don’t love that you don’t seem happy for me. I don’t love that we are missing each other and when we don’t? It feels like I spend the entire time apologizing for doing what I need to do here. Maybe we need to take a break. Think about what we really want.” I heard Laura try to swallow back her tears. I felt hollowed out. This was not how I wanted to do it. Not like this. Not while I was walking outside.

“Is there someone else, Dayton? Is this why?” Yes. No. I don’t know. It wasn’t real to Brooklyn. It was as real as monsters under the bed. It didn’t matter. It wasn’t like I was going to go back to the bus and tell Brooklyn we broke up. It wasn’t like I expected anything from him.

“No,” I said, “And the fact that you ask that just tells me that we aren’t working. You don’t trust me.”

“Don’t tell me how I feel, Dayton,” Laura snapped, “If I didn’t trust you then I wouldn’t have let you go on this tour.” Let me? She was upset. She was saying things she didn’t mean. It just hit me wrong. I rubbed my face.

“I have to head back. Sound check is soon,” I said. I wanted off the phone. I wanted to run this out.

“We need to talk about this, Dayton. We can’t just leave it like this.” Yeah, we could. We should. I picked up my pace, walking faster.

“I’ll call you in a few days. We both just need some time, without any pressure of schedules,” I said. I took a deep breath, “Goodbye Laura.” I pressed hang up and shoved my phone back into my pocket. I began to run faster. I just broke up with Laura. We broke up. We were over. Why didn’t I feel any better? My thoughts slid to Brooklyn. Fuck. I turned my music on, trying to make my thoughts slow down but all they did was focus on Brooklyn and how he would take the news.

~*~

I never believed those screams were for me. They were for Aaron, who could shred like no one’s business. They were for Leon, who was relatable and funny and was one of the best drummers I’ve ever seen. They were for Brooklyn, who would stroll out in leather pants, or a skirt, and make me forget what I was doing for a moment. Who looked so damn happy when he grabbed the mic and began to sing. Who never hesitated to jump into the crowd and sing with everyone. Who had endless energy and put on an amazing show. Those three deserved every scream and cheer. I felt like an interloper, who was on loan.

The energy was high during the show, if not a bit weird. Brooklyn was going harder than normal and while the crowd seemed into it, I had to wonder why. Was it us? Did last night throw him off that much? Did something happen in the interview? Sound check was normal and Brooklyn seemed fine during the meet and greet. I asked Aaron if everything was alright but he didn’t really answer me. Had Brooklyn told him what was going on? I didn’t think he would have. What was I missing? Immediately after the show, Aaron grabbed Brooklyn and they headed out. I watched them disappear. What was I missing?

“Brooklyn’s parents are here,” Leon said, “No idea why they came to this show. We aren’t close enough to home.” His parents were here? They were the last people who deserved to see how wonderful Brooklyn grew up to be. They abandoned him. Brooklyn didn’t talk much about his parents during interviews, it was always Aaron and I talking about family things. Brooklyn would keep quiet and whatever the next non-family question was, he’d field that.

Leon watched me for a moment, “Let’s clean up a bit and we’ll face the crowd. Shake some hands.” I nodded. All four of us went out together, usually, but it didn’t mean that sometimes one of us didn’t. It would be weirder if we didn’t go out at all. So we cleaned up the best we could and headed outside, where some fans were waiting. They cheered when they saw us. Then I heard the expected question of, “Where’s Brooklyn and Aaron?”

A group of fans went up to Leon and I could see a girl signing to Leon. I couldn’t catch what she was saying but Leon looked happy. I turned back, surprised to see some fans standing in front of me.

“I just want to say that I’m so glad that you joined the band. I mean, you were the nicest merch guy, you were always so friendly but, like, you belong on stage. You make them better,” a fan told me. I blinked, not expecting that at all, “You guys sounded amazing before but it’s so much better now!”

“Thank you?” I said. Merch was easier. I knew what I was doing. There was a purpose to these interactions. Without that, I felt lost. What if I said something stupid? Or said the wrong thing? There were definitely things I wasn't supposed to say.

“You totally inspired me to start playing bass!” Another girl said, stepping us. I smiled softly. That was cool. I managed to figure out how to reply to her, feeling slightly more confident. I could do this. This was like doing merch but different. I was signing a shirt, trying not to say how I couldn’t believe they wanted my signature, when Aaron strolled out. He smiled at the remaining fans, letting a few come up to him to talk and get a photo. Where was Brooklyn? It wasn’t like him to be the only one not out here. He loved this part too. He said it was a different kind of magic, a grounding one because it reminded him that his fans were people and were interesting and somehow they related to the things he had to say.

Leon and I walked over to Aaron. We waved to the fans, thanking them for coming, ignoring the question I had: where was Brooklyn? We headed inside.

“Brook is on the bus. I told him we’d take care of everything,” Aaron said.

“Is he okay?” I asked. Aaron gave a shrug and put his arm around me, pulling me closer for a side hug. It wasn’t an answer at all. We did what we were supposed to do at the club and thanked the manager for hosting us that night. No one made excuses to why Brooklyn wasn’t there. We lingered as long as we could before boarding the bus. Aaron put his arm around me and whispered to me, “Give him some space, okay? He’ll join us when he’s ready.” I nodded but looked towards the darkened area with the bunks. I didn’t want to leave him alone.

CHAPTER TWO: [CITY, part 2]

I heard everyone board the bus and the tv turned on. I knew Aaron had told the others that my parents showed up. I knew he would have told them to give me space, which, in theory, I definitely wanted. Seeing my parents always threw me out of whack. There weren’t two people more in the world that I wanted their love and approval and there weren’t two people more in the world that I knew I would never get either from. I knew their failures as parents had no reflection on me but that didn’t mean it didn’t constantly hurt; especially when they just randomly showed up, giving input on my life and then acting mad and upset when I wouldn’t drop everything to do what they said. As if I hadn’t actually made something of myself. As if I hadn’t ditched actual fans to talk to them.

I got out of the bunk and headed out to the living area, where Aaron was already flipping through Netflix. He shifted over, giving me space to squish in between him and Dayton. I glanced at Dayton for a second. The drama with my parents overshadowed what happened with Dayton last night. I didn’t want that drama either. I stretched out, leaning back against Dayton and putting my legs over Aaron’s lap as he put on a movie, I would swear on my life, we had seen a thousand times already.

“Again?” Leon asked, as he settled back, his laptop on his lap. He was angled so he could read the closed captioning if he wanted to pay attention.

#original writing #original character #band fic #band fiction #unfinished

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berlinini · 2 years

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Clem's Tour Commentary: Vancouver (y/n edition aka my show)

Sooooo!!! Last May I was lucky enough to get tickets for the Vancouver show, which wasn't sold out at the time, and Portland 2, which had just been announced. I love Vancouver so I thought I'd visit once again. Having heard of the city of Portland, and especially because of the venue (one of the smallest of the tour, with GA), I thought let's do both! I ended up buying tickets to LA and so for months I have been thinking about what I called Clem's West Coast Tour 2022. This has been a simple way to explain to friends and family the reason of my trip - and get concerned looks at the idea that I was seeing the same artist 3 times, to which I wanted to say... bestie I'll have seen the show 20 times before I even set foot in the first venue...!!! I know the show by heart at this point! Anyways.

All of this to say, you can imagine the anticipation of finally seeing Louis live myself, especially after witnessing his performances over livestreams for the last 5 weeks, and after months of waiting and incertitude!

As usual, I wrote a full length novel about my experience, so each show will have its own post. Recap under the cut! :)

VANCOUVER

Pre-Show

The show was on Sunday night and I started feeling jittery on Saturday. I went to check out the venue, unfortunately Louis' name wasn't on the marquee. Sunday around noon I went around the artist's entrance and fans were already lining up to see Louis arrive. I spent the rest of the day being a mess. The show was an all seated venue, which I loved because I found it less stressful, and thought it would be as good as Nashville. Oh! And by the power of the Louie God, I had the chance to exchange my balcony tickets for better seats in the orchestra, in ROW 28 so!!! It was a blessed event! Even more so because Louis showed up at the venue in PURPLE???? Very truly blessed!

Me and my excellent solo louie companion @bbrox arrived around 7:30pm, and lined up in the short line (there were two lines because there are two entries to the venue). Upon entering (at 8, so we knew the show would be delayed), we saw that the lines for the merch stands were a literal maze going up and down the stairs, it was insane!!! The venue was SO beautiful, a palace fit for a King. We got drinks, which was funny because I got carded (being confused for a 19 yo is always nice) and my mind was elsewhere so after that I took my drinks and started leaving and they were like... girl you have to pay! That gives you an idea of my state of mind! We renounced getting merch and decided to join our seats. Row 28 baby!!! It was the last row, right in front of some of the sound consoles. We did a little visit of the front of the stage, where people were taking pics. You could feel how everyone was so excited! Sun Room was nice, and the girls in front of us were apparent fans and it was very cute to see. During the break @captainlouisuniverse (which I sadly didn't get to meet :\) texted me to say that if you payed cash at the merch counter you could go quicker. So we jumped on the opportunity and cut the queue (sorry not sorry). I got the white tour t-shirt (with the eye!!!). Also, I asked the venue lady if they were handing out water and she was like...well you have to pay for it?! and honestly I'm suing LTHQ for discrimination against Canadians fans...

It's Showtime!!!

I was SO nervous when Smells Like Teen Spirit started playing and we KNEW the guys would get on stage, we KNEW the drums to WMI were coming up and we knew LOUIS was coming up!!! To paraphrase Louis, one year of built up energy!!! The atmosphere in the room was crazy, Louis showed up wearing all black (so sexy of him!!!) and honestly from that it's just a blur of emotions...

Compared to Portland show (more on that later), I have a hard time describing how Vancouver felt. I hardly remember stuff... (ok this 1 000 words post is saying otherwise) Maybe because it was too intense on a emotional level, maybe it's because I wasn't as close to the stage... It's gonna sound weird but I was so focused on myself during that show and on the communal experience in the room. It really felt like we were sharing a moment, after such a long time waiting. When I think about it there was Louis singing, me singing with Louis, and the awesome atmosphere. I was just living the moment and I honestly felt like I deserved to have this moment of pure joy considering how bleak life has been for the last two years.

And the way I experienced the show was so different from watching it online - I didn't care to find out what brand Louis was wearing, I didn't care to rate the crowd, I wasn't focusing on Louis reacting to fan signs, hell I hardly looked at the guys (except Michael). I wasn't trying to take pictures (RIP my iPhone XR's shitty lense) or get Louis' attention, I just wanted to have a good time and give him a good time. The crowd was good and all the fandom drama was far away - we were there and we were happy, and so was Louis and the band. The songs just kept on coming, with the rush of OMG THIS IS XYZ!!! and before you knew it, we were losing our minds to KMM and it was over.

I had so much energy singing and jumping around and yeah one thing about me is that I scream a lot at concerts (RIP the people standing besides me), so I did that. I screamed. A lot. I had no voice at the end of the show... I was so hot, thank God I was wearing layers but my fleece-lined platform Converse were very uncomfortable. Suddenly I understood the fans fainting in the pit - at least we had room to move around.

My (almost) enemies to lovers story with Matt Vines:

Ever since being in Vancouver at the same time as Louis and his band but especially ever since knowing me and Michael had walked the same street on the same day, my mind was going overdrive with some y/n fantasies, which became a running gag among some of you here (I love you all). It wouldn't be the first time in this fandom that fans think they're in a fanfic, however I'm not dumb enough to think Louis will invite me on his tour bus so I had placed all my hopes (delusions) on Michael, because... well you know why. So that was the joke. Alas, if someone noticed me (even that...) from that night it was... Matt Vines.

Matt was standing behind us, a little bit to my left, in between the sound consoles. He was there almost the whole time, on his phone for a good part. I know because I looked at him a few times, since @silverfoxlou had given me the order to give him a stinky eye if I ever saw him. So I sent him bad energy. So what happened for me to say he noticed me? Well bestie don't believe anything you read on tumblr dot com especially dodgy fan reports because nothing concrete happened LOL. But I was so close to him and as I said I screamed so much, jumped so much, that there's no way Matt didn't at least looked at me once and thought: who is that crazy chick with her wannabe Ariana Grande ponytail and her bouncing cross-body bag and who's wearing awesome Converses (ok there's no way he saw my shoes). Dreams do come true!!!! If anything I hope he saw me going hard on the non-1D songs and I set a good example of solo fans (as if that was written on my forehead lol - though my attitude during Habit probably gave a clue). Anyways, fuck you Matt I still hate you.

Some honorary mentions of the show (the bits that I recall):

The lights during Two Of Us: this was not a fan project, it just happened organically? Not to brag (but I will) but I was one of the first to put my torch out, it just seemed like it fit with the emotion of the song? I'm glad we had that <3

There was a fan project for the rainbow lights for OTB . We didn't have a lot of flags (some will say we were homophobic for that), but it was still a very emotional moment. I haven't seen what the rainbow lights looked like - that's what happens when you're at the back of the venue... Also, it's interesting to see how the perspective is different being live vs being "front row" via a stream.

We did the lights for Beautiful War as demanded asked by Louis. That song always makes me tear up and hearing it live, I feel so lucky. Just thinking about this makes me emotional.

Louis messed up Walls (video) which I didn't realize because unfortunately I always forget Walls #dontcancelme. I'm so glad we got to scream YOU WERE MY BECAUSE to him twice!!! It was so awesome!

This was me when Habit rolled on. I boycotted the song and kept my mouth shut, yes I'm petty. I hope Matt caught that.

When the drums to 7 started playing I was going INSANE. Unfortunately the crowd wasn't that much into it but me and my bestie went 110% on it, I was out of breath at the end, it was everything I ever dreamed off. I had a slight obsession with that song last summer, so seeing it live was a real #wemadeit moment.

I had this urge to scream "Michael you're so hot" because... why not... but didn't want to be disrespectful, so finding the right time felt tricky, but luckily I saw an opening during the band pic break. Around 0:35 in this video if you squint really hard you can almost hear it? God I wish I had been closer or had a louder voice. Anyways I hope he heard me <3 If anything Matt definitely did so I count that as a win in the things he's gonna tell Louis and Michael about me because he totally noticed me and talked about and this is my y/n moment

OK but talking about Michael being hot... He's insanely talented and the way he works that guitar during 7, LBD, is sooooo hot!!! He's just out there manspreading like a king while a whole venue is screaming for him, go little rock star!!! I'm also "manspreading" thinking about it but for different reasons

Fearless: I've been saying for months that hearing Fearless live would cure me and boy did it work!!! It's so good!!! I still have the reflex of singing "enjoy this Crystal Palace" (lol) I hope Louis would give us a "enjoy this (name of city)", because it's the perfect introduction - he know... he knows.

Defenseless and Always You are so good, fuck the person at Sony who didn't make at least one of them a single, because you can tell these are bops that the crowd loves. It was awesome to sing "it's been two years since I saw your face" and "just wanna be loved by YOU" to Louis, the way he reclaimed those songs, go off my love.

The energy for KMM was insane (video), it's such a good way to end the show, but it's also so bittersweet? The high is insane and then you're left to yourself, with the inevitable realization that it's over... :(

See @seasurfacefullofclouds1's wonderful highlight post about the show here.

Post Show:

In true Groupie Fashion™️, and because we couldn't handle the show being over over, we waited outside to see Louis getting on the bus. We spotted Oli going back and forth several times, Kyrstle and Jessie (to whom I sent bad vibes) going on the other bus, Isaac, Zak and Matt getting on the bus together.

Then LOUIS!!! The King of England! God I can't believe he was there, right across the street from me (video). He got in pretty quick and then sat at the window like the annoying little shit that he is, just being there and basking in the attention (Michael's that is). I truly wondered how it must be like for him...Like there is no reason for him to have that window open (except for when he smoked)?? He's just a superstar. The crowd was shouting "Louis we love you" and because I had to balance my karma from my 'Michael you're so hot' shout out, I yelled at least two times "you're so pretty" because Louis needs to know it and also I love to objectify men.

Michael arrived late, by himself, with his huge backpack, which is one of the things I considered worthy of my camera roll. I have 3 blurry pics to prove it.

JD and Wolsey were stellar in their crowd management, especially because it was a busy street with a lot of cars (and trams - we were joking that the tram would block Louis from our view when he got out, à la Walls mural van). At some point the fans shouted some praise for JD and Wolsey and Joshua was filming and it made a little bit of a commotion, thus prompting Louis to curiously put his head out... Drama queen!

Joshua was hanging out a bit outside the bus, taking pics from under the window. Charlie was really doing the rounds, he was so close to me, I almost started chatting him up about dinners in Portland. Instead I made sure my mask was all up so I wouldn't be recognizable if I ever make it in that damn documentary he's making (another 18 months before I find out, another y/n moment wow I'm so lucky).

Post-Show: the Crowd/ Fandom stuff (anecdotal notes that you can skip if you're tired of reading this essay):

The crowd waiting outside was interesting. They started singing No Control - it was inevitable... but luckily it was the first time of the night, since we didn't get it during the show break. The problem with my brain is that I just start singing songs without realizing what they are - I'm on automatic mode. I truly thought we were singing Miss You before I realized it was NC... RIP. They also sang Home, WMYB and later Perfect Now (cute). At some point the singing got drowned by shout of 'we love you', which was nice.

In waiting we chatted a bit with the girls close to us and this hilarious (to me) interaction happened, when Louis was still inside and someone rolled out a box:

Girl: OMG maybe he's pulling a Harry and he's hiding in that box LOL

Me, turning around: excuse me? Céline was doing that first

Other girl: yeah I was going to say Taylor did it before Harry

Me: Sorry. Céline Dion.

Don't disrespect the queen like this UGH.

Also some fans were acting like the fandom police telling other what to do/ not to cross the street and I rolled my eyes to far back into my skull. Can we not? It's not your job so please stay in your lane.

Anyways, it was fun to wait out for Louis and see him, and I could already picture the gifs I would see on tumblr the day after of his adorable face out the window. It was a bit strange to think about how the show would be "perceived" and brought me back to fans who've been saying that livestreams don't do justice. I know it was a good show but at the same time I truly didn't give a damn about how people on tumblr and twitter had reacted - I had a good time, we had a good time. Louis sounded amazing, the crowd was loud and supportive, it's all that matters!

I feel like this was all over the place... thanks for keeping up with my Thoughts™️

TLDR: I fucking love Louis Tomlinson.

PS: for another recap of the night you can read @bbrox's post here

#clem's tour commentary #ltwt:vancouver #(y/n edition aka my shows)#tumblr user berlinini #ltwt fan report

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keanureevesisbae · 3 years

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I was thinking abt sy with a lil idol gf and omg🥺🥺Bye he’d be so supportive🥰he would go to his gf’s shows and maybe even surprise his idol gf at a fansign and bring 20 albums for her to sign😭😭 the big bear definitely owns a bunch of merch and has a “secret” fan acc, He is overall just mushy for his girlie😩🤚(I’m so soft rn pls😭)

YOU JUST MADE ME THE SOFTEST HUMAN BEING ALIVE. OH MY GOSH, THIS IS ADORABLE, I LOVE THIS AND THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR PUTTING THIS IDEA IN MY MIND!! (side note: i used Jennie's Solo cover for the art and i also went out of my way to make insta edits - yes, i'm that type of person) also, thank you sweet anon for sending me this 💗hope you like it

Captain Syverson x petite!cutesy!fem!reader

Summary: Sy has a reputation: a strong and powerful captain, who is never afraid and will never turn into a pile of mush. However, there is only one woman who is able to turn him into the ultimate fanboy.

Wordcount: 1k

Warnings: none

Sy is more of a country music kinda man. Growing up in Texas, near a bar with a mechanic bull, he was obsessed as a young teen with the idea of just touring through the state with a cowboy hat on his head and a guitar.

It’s just the fact that he can’t sing what stood in the way of a very promising country career.

He joined the military and forgot about the idea all together, but when he came back from his final tour to Iraq, his friends took him on a little welcome home drive through the country. They visited all sorts of bars, listened to all sorts of music there. Sure, all sorts of music had its appeal, but it would never be like country.

The final destination of the little road trip was LA and they went to a bar for new sing and songwriters to perform.

And that’s where he first laid his eyes on you. He remembers you sitting on a bar stool, back straight as a ruler. You were adorable, he thought to himself. Wide eyes as you were watching the stage, clapping your hands along with the beat and squealing when someone sang something particularly well.

And then it was your turn to get on stage. A sweet pink dress, matched with white sneakers and socks with a lace border. Nothing about the song you wrote and sang was something he usually liked. Very happy, up beat and your high voice sang every note perfectly.

Despite not his taste, he adored every second of it.

You seemed shy off stage, with the way you sat by yourself, but on stage that demeanor completely changed.

You were born to be a singer.

When you sat down at your own barstool again, he grabbed his beer and decided to sit next to you, get to know you. Everything about you was different. Petite, long hair and your feet didn’t even touch the floor.

He was supposed to stay in LA for two weeks, but that changed into a month and then two months, because he couldn’t get enough of you. He left Texas (something he never thought he would do) and moved to LA, where he got a job as a constructor. You quit your own job, one you only took to be able to pay for the bills and musical equipments. He loved helping you out, driving you from bar to bar, hoping your dream of becoming an idol would come true.

And one day, it happened.

You got an offer of one of the biggest agencies in the US and after the two of you read the contract multiple times, you signed and were an official idol.

Life changed a lot after that. You were either in the studio, dance practice and back at the studio again, however Sy made sure that you were well hydrated and fed, just like your back up dancers.

The people at the agency loved Sy and they often joked that he was part of the family that was created at the agency.

It all happened fast. Your first single, music video, first appearance at multiple late night shows and finally you reached one million followers on Instagram.

And he was right by your side.

His friends knew about his love for country, but they also knew about his much bigger love for you. They often would catch the big captain sing to the cute, almost bubblegum pop music you produced.

He didn’t care.

Sy had all your merchandise, whether it would fit him or not. He had your albums (all signed of course) and listened to them when you weren’t around. Sometimes he’d travel with you as you were touring, sometimes he stayed behind, especially after the two of you adopted a two year old American Akita.

The world knew you weren’t single, but you always kept Sy out of the spotlight, something he’d greatly appreciated. While you were born to be famous, he was born to live a more anonymous.

But that didn’t stop you from boasting about him on Instagram.

It had been at least three months since you saw him in real life. Your manager and all your back up dancers knew about his plan. Heck, they even helped Sy with planning it. He watches from the back, the line at your meet and greet stand growing smaller and smaller, until everyone has left. You let out a content sigh and want to get up, but your manager says there is a special fan still waiting in the back.

‘Really?’ you ask him. ‘Who is it?’

‘Very special. Super fan.’

That gains your attention, as your eyebrows are raised. ‘Do I know them?’

‘You’ve met them before,’ your manager says.

‘Oh, I do hope I recognize them,’ you say. ‘I don’t want to come across as such a bitch, you know.’

Your manager starts to laugh. ‘I wouldn’t worry about it,’ he says. ‘Close your eyes.’

You place your hands over your eyes and smile in anticipation. Sy quietly walks over to your table and places his newly bought album in front of you. ‘I’d like this signed, please,’ he says.

Within lightening speed you pull your hands from your eyes. ‘Oh my,’ you say, ‘Sy?’ You jump up, your chair falling behind you. You run around the table and wrap your arms around his neck. He lifts you up in his arms and gives you a kiss on your cheek. ‘I missed you! What are you doing here? How is Kal?’

‘Kal is good. He is with your parents.’

‘But what are you doing here?’ you ask.

‘I want my autograph,’ he says with a chuckle.

You press a kiss on his lips. ‘How long are you gonna stay here with me?’

He shrugs. ‘I brought enough clothing for let’s say… a month?’

Your eyes enlarge. ‘That’s the end of my tour! Oh, Sy, you’re staying with me?’ You have tears in your eyes and whisper: ‘I love you.’

‘I love you too, little lady.’

#captain syverson #captain syverson drabble #captain syverson x reader #captain syverson x idol!reader #sy and his idol gf

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