#I was gonna include Rocco but I feel like he wouldn’t say it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ravenadottir · 3 years

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what do you think the characters would be doing after the show/how would they be using their platform? for example, i think lottie would be using hers to give people astrology readings and stuff and i think the season 3 mc would be sooo problematic online

ok but you know what? definitely! s3 mc would be causing the stir she wanted to in the villa and couldn't. i'm almost certain she would be raging and saying absurd things to get attention, something like gabby hana you know? BIG YIKES.

one thing is certain... all of them (purposely or not) would be making thirst traps... and definitely supporting masks and registering to vote. so that's a certainty for almost all of them.

lottie. witchtok constantly. not necessarily giving readings but she would be an apologist and majority on that tag. her instagram would be split into two accounts: one for her personal endeavours like thirst traps and *looks of the day*, and a second for her brand as a makeup artist/personal stylist. cause i think that would be so fucking cool! lottie knows how to perpetuate her personal brand and would use social media for that as well. here's some edits i did in the past to explain it better. i headcanon a collab with elisa for wigs that they would both wear on social media, so that's something i really like! plus, advocating for women's rights, especially when a male politician says something dumb, so you know, EVERY SINGLE DAY.

bobby. in the middle of the pandemic? can't help thinking he would be doing some humorous videos, but in my head they're not the funny type. just some cringey ones... don't get me wrong, but bobby is only funny when he's not trying to, and in social media he strikes me as the type that not only makes videos but also puts the towel over his head to play a girl, so that's probably the majority of his content. some food of course, and DEFINITELY some *cute* selfies that he knows it works as thirst traps. i think he talks about registering to vote and blm, but doesn't give his opinion on anything else, politics wise. here's bobby's feed for the rest.

gary. i'm not thrilled to inform that gary would be thirst trapping all the time. now that he's relatively famous there's no reason why not posting those pics and videos. between tik tok trends to show off his muscles, and instagram to... well, do that exact same thing, he might take some time to show nan and the soup kitchen, but overall... thirst traps. possibly being blunt about masks and registering but his content is very closed off. also, he will get a dog and encourage people to adopt. there's a lot of pranks on dicky and vice versa, so that's something i thought for his social media, just couldn't find a good faceclaim that has a variety of pics.

lucas. mostly bringing awareness about covid and the use of masks, probably pointing it out a couple of political disputes, and definitely advising people to be careful about their votes all around the world. i like to think he's a huge advocate for legalization of a certain practice that women have to beg to have (you know the one), and i think he knows exactly how to make a thirst trap without making one. stop asian hate and blm carrds present, and often giving his followers the incentive to donate. DEFINITELY 'look of the day' for at least the weekend, and lots and lots of landscape from the places he's been visiting or wishing to.

henrik. he's everywhere and he takes his phone to talk about it. no doubt henrik is having the time of his life by travelling alone, or with his wife, and doing lives at all times. i think you would see him doing lives in the middle of the night, or watching the sunset/sunrise with his followers, besides making his *questionable* forest foraging and recipes. survival videos? MOST LIKELY THAN YOU THINK. here's his social media, where i covered mostly of what his relationship would like on instagram. (heavily based off "beyond the hill").

carl. the amount of rpg on his stories? immaculate. chess? you bet! lots and lots of carl's launchings for his company, which does have a separate account but he can't quite separate himself from it and it shows on his feed. his relationship would be discreetly displayed with cryptic captions since he's not so sentimental. here's his feed with some personal things he would be encouraged to post and boost that confidence of his.

anon that asked for more hannah stuff, this is for you:

hannah. i have one for her because i do like her aesthetic. don't mind the faceclaim, it was the only one i could find in so many situations. horses, books, some *cute* selfies, travelling pics and more. on tiktok definitely booktok, no doubt about it. she might do a lot of the "telling the story of my book as a story time" trend to promote it and say "technically it's real life."

elisa. it's all about branding and she knows how to do it well! some influencers might not get political because of how they can be perceived but i think elisa doesn't give a flying fuck about that. she talks often about blm and vaccines on her stories. i get a jackie aina vibe from her when talking about brands that support/encourage dark skin models and influencers, so that's a plus. she will give shit to a makeup brand that doesn't care for shade range and won't hide her feelings about it. here's her usual feed, with looks and tours (that i'm certain she would do a lot). i also think she'll eventually cave and have a brand of wigs, clothes and makeup, AS SHE SHOULD.

hope. there's no question about her activism on social media and i like to imagine she would be speaking up against anti-vaxxers and racism, mostly. just like yewande, she would probably talk about every time she felt the show might've favoured people that don't look like her. we would be getting the hot tea on everything since she's so honest. there's also lots of looks and promoting her friends' products because she supports them so much. priya's clothing line, elisa x lottie collab, etc. here's the feed i made for her a while ago.

chelsea. she might not be that deep into politics but she'll talk about covid and how people should be more careful about it, "wearing all these cute masks my babes lozza made for us!". LOTS of *look of the day* and tours on the spaces she decorates, besides the behind the scenes of parties and weddings (of ex-islanders) that i know she would throw. her feed also includes her closet, supporting her friends' endeavours and promoting them, besides some random mug collection shots and FOR SURE a pug selfie with mc.

priya. there's not much to say except for the occasional thirst trap (with those amazing thigh, ffs she should), lots of vaccine warnings, definitely political anecdotes and her clothing brand. i love to think she would have an actual boutique once things get settled after covid, and she would use social media to promote every line. her feed consists mostly of her travelling, designs, supporting the girls and her photoshoots.

kassam. lots and lots of backstage photos and that *prickly* way of demanding people to use their brains and wear a mask, besides getting the vaccine. in studio or just before the stage, selfies with a clothing line with his logo and definitely pics with islanders he didn't get to meet but is now friends with. during covid he would be using his lives to play for his followers, like lots of dj's and musicians i've seen doing on reddit and tiktok, probably called "late night music" or something like that. encouraging followers to donate for causes as well.

noah. not so huge on social media, might be the most discrete of them all. there would be lots and lots of pictures of the mornings before he opens the library, because i sincerely think he would keep his job. not the most outspoken about certain matters but carrds like the blm's and 'stop asian hate''s are on all of his bio's. i do like to imagine him taking selfies with the boys from the show, like ibrahim. he would be so present in noah's feed it's not even funny. the casual "cute unintentional" thirst trap too. family photos from ages ago and lots of his siblings as well. he does love to write long captions for whenever he posts his girlfriend. one thing though, during the first few months on the outside, he wouldn't be so present, afraid of facing the bashing on him if he got with mc in the show. that could be a reason for him to stay away until people "forget" about it.

marisol. SO - MANY - SUITS - SELFIES it makes me cry happy tears. between advocating for women's rights in a more technical way, she would definitely be using her platform to also talk about lgbtq+, especially after the realization she had during her journey. lots and lots of activism about those things, and i think she would be doing a fine job. definitely promoting the girls' products/services and an occasional thirst trap with a braless suit look.

rocco. covidiot. (i just wanted to use this nickname one more time). he might get a hard time from followers and villa buddies because of his stance on vaccines. i just hope he reads some articles instead of sharing bibity-bobity-bullshit on facebook and instagram. there's lots of vaccine memes on his comment sections no matter what he posts though. it's gonna take a while for the public to move on.

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time-to-write-and-suffer · 3 years

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I wouldn't mind that post on VNs!

So I was gonna write three different lists, but then after writing the first part I realized this is very long and takes a while to write and nobody cares anyway so I’ll just post my recommended list only. Well, I mean, you asked, but I doubt you wanted all this lol. Thank you for giving me an excuse to talk about this stuff, though. Hope you enjoy my ramblings!

An explanation for what this list is: Sometimes I know a game isn't perfect in many aspects but I still had a genuinely good time playing it, hence why I'm recommending it. Also I should mention that I could talk for hours about some of these games so if anyone’s curious about more of my thoughts, let me know.

Alright, now that that's out of the way ...

How to Take Off Your Mask / How to Fool a Liar King / How to Sing to Open Your Heart (f/m): This is a trilogy of smaller, single-RO games where you can take one of two routes depending on how you act, and they’re all interconnected where you get to meet and interact with the previous games’ characters in the sequel games. I went into this expecting very little but what I got blew me away with how funny, charming and cute the games were. They don’t take themselves too seriously, at one point an angsty male character monologues deeply about some shit, and another one just slides into frame and starts mocking him. It was so fucking funny, holy shit. Also, a central theme is literally racism against catgirls? Which is monumentally stupid, and probably the games’ main flaw, especially in the final game where it pairs up a catgirl with a catgirl racist, but that one still ends with a literal bisexual queen literally making a man her malewife because she fell in love with his cooking, so like ... It speaks for itself. My favorite game of the three is the second one, where you get to play a punchy fake catgirl and romance a pink-haired prince. And honestly, all the female protags in these games are lovely and a breath of fresh air, and the male characters are fun and not abusive assholes either. There’s full Japanese voice acting, and two out of three female protags are literal catgirls who pepper in “nya” and “mya” into their dialogue, and it’s just treated as a quirk of their catgirl race. I AM NOT KIDDING. Yet somehow it never comes off as cringe, because it doesn’t take it self too seriously. These games are just cozy. That’s the only way I can describe them. Cozy and hilarious. Play them yesterday. Dream Daddy (m/m): Man tumblr did this game dirty. This is just a cute, wholesome daddy dating simulator with gorgeous art. Coming out on Top (m/m): So you know Dream Daddy? What if it was EXTREMELY, MAJORLY NSFW? Though I realize how bad the comparison really is, the only thing these games have in common is that they’re gay dating sims and don’t have an anime art style and oh, yeah, they’re both really well-written. Or at least, extremely funny. COOT (heh) is DDADDS’ horny older cousin, and I first encountered the game on a lesbian letsplayer’s YouTube channel. Yes I watched a lesbian play a gay porn game and it was GOOD. I was there for the cringe and fun and got surprised by how genuinely funny and sometimes actually touching the game was. I can’t give it my universal endorsement because it’s not a game for everyone, as I said, it’s extremely NSFW and the menu theme literally includes the singers screaming “SEX SEX” at the top of their lungs. There’s more to this game than the porn, but there’s just so much porn. It can be censored in the settings but it’s unavoidable. However, I still think it’s worth a look just because of how funny it is and how charming the characters are. If you don’t want to play it yourself, at least watch Anima’s playthrough of it. It hasn’t aged super well in some spots but I still go back to it every now and then. Akash: Path of the Five (f/m): This game markets itself as a more “professionally produced” western dating sim, and that’s accurate in some superficial aspects. The game is pretty poorly written, but it’s absolutely gorgeous and has really good English voice acting by actual professional voice actors. The premise is quite self-indulgent, but I genuinely respect that about it. You play as the only female elemental in a village with only men, and all five of your classmates want a piece of you. It’s clear the writers have put some thought into the lore and worldbuilding of this world, but barely any of it comes through in the actual writing and plot, which is basically just a vehicle for you to get together with your boy of choice. The ROs aren’t very well-developed either, and the plot is the same in every route with only minor variations depending on which guy you pick, up to the point where the protag has the same voice lines in some parts regardless of which guy she’s talking about. It also has one extra half-route that’s so bad and pointless I genuinely wonder why they wasted resources on making it instead of spending a bit more on the writing/adding some variations to the main plot. So why am I recommending this game? Well, it’s pretty, and it sounds nice. This game is a himbo, gorgeous but dumb as rocks. Enjoy it for what it is. I know I did. Get it when it’s on sale, I think if I hadn’t gotten it at half-price I would’ve felt a bit more cranky about it. Also Rocco is bae. Mystic Destinies: Serendipity of Aeons (f/m): Yes that’s the full title, no I don’t know what it means either. You may have noticed how most of the games so far I’ve enjoyed because they don’t take themselves too seriously? Well, this one does. It takes itself SO FUCKING SERIOUSLY. Like, way too seriously. It’s a little embarrassing at points because baby, you’re an urban fantasy dating sim. Calm down. But the game has gorgeous art and 3 out of 5 routes are very good. The last route, the one with your teacher, is both the most problematic yet somehow the one that breaks down the very concept of a dating sim within its own narrative (yes, this shit gets fucking META) and it got so wild at the end that 1) I still listen to the soundtrack for that route and 2) I still remember it to this day despite finishing it ages ago. My favorite route is Shou, he’s a sweetheart, but the mindfuck route is so buckwild that I think the game is worth playing just for that. There’s also a route that’s like a neo-noir mystery? I Do Not Know. This game is many, many things and it does them so sincerely and tries so hard, you can’t help but respect it. It doesn’t always stick the landing but man, just let this thing take your hand and wax poetic at you for a bit. Also get this one at a sale because it’s very expensive to get the full version. I got it for 9 bucks on itch.io and I felt that was a fair enough price, I’d say I wouldn’t have minded paying more for it because there’s a lot of content to enjoy and/or be baffled by. Arcade Spirits: This one’s a bit more weird from what I recall, and I honestly couldn’t tell you much about it, but I remember having a very good time with it and recommending it to a friend when she was going through some tough times and she said it made her feel better. I remember it making me feel better, as well. This is a VN about an arcade and the ROs are wonderfully diverse, with very real human conflicts that get explored in each of their routes. It can get quite existential and heavy at times, but in the end it’s a kindhearted game that I think everyone can enjoy. The main character was also, how you say, mood. It’s a game about getting possessed by a video game and then learning self-love. Ebon Light (f/m): This one’s free/name your own price on itch.io so go play it. It’s a weird plot where you play as a girl who ate an elven relic? And then the elves kidnap you because you’re the relic now. All the ROs are extremely pasty (like, literally white, as in literally the color white) dark-haired elves, except for one, who’s an extremely pasty blond elf, so ... diversity? I honestly don’t know what this game is aside from unique. I used to be a bit put off by the art style but now I think it contributes to the general atmosphere. It’s a weird game that technically doesn’t do anything groundbreaking but still left an impression of “huh. weird” in my mind and I think more people should play it. The ROs are all pretty generic dating sim archetypes but done well, with bonus points to Duliae who’s just a massive creep and I love him, and also Vadeyn who’s the only bitch in this house I respect. The worldbuilding is honestly a bit buckwild and I can’t give enough credit for how unique the elves’ culture is in this game. Definitely give it a go. Hakuoki: Kyoto Winds / Hakuoki: Edo Blossoms (f/m): These two are newer releases of an older Japanese visual novel. I wouldn’t call it a dating sim, it’s ... it’s more of a super depressing historical fantasy epic with some minor romance aspects awkwardly wedged in. It’s seriously some of the heaviest and most grimdark shit I’ve ever played in a VN/otome. I don’t understand why it’s a dating sim, it doesn’t read like one, it’s just historical fantasy based on real world events with characters based on real people, and they kill and they die and they grieve and they suffer. The games are literally about the downfall of the Shinsengumi, there’s no way of avoiding everything going to shit and you get to watch and be in the middle of it all as they struggle to stay alive and relevant in a world that doesn’t need them anymore. And there’s the protag in the middle of it all, being useless and submissive and bland just the way the usual otome protag is. I don’t think these games are necessarily fun, and the romance is certainly a lot more downplayed and deeply problematic just based on the age differences alone with some of the men, but the sheer amount of horror and sadness in these games make them stand out above its peers. It’s like watching a war movie. Since most of the characters are based on real people, they feel like real people instead of the usual otome archetypes, and they are so, SO flawed, it’s interesting to just watch them deal with the shit the world throws at them. It’s an Experience, and if you’re up for it, I think it’s worth the time. Cinderella Phenomenon (f/m): This game is free on Steam so go get it. You play as a really, genuinely shitty princess who gets cursed to be poor and forgotten and she has to help one of the ROs break his fairy tale curse so that she can learn about being a good person herself and return to her normal life. This game doesn’t look like much, but it has a genuinely well-written main character who’s actually at the center of each of the stories and in the overarching plot instead of just being around to make eyes at the real protagonists, aka the love interests. Aside from the main character, my favorite part of this game’s writing is how each route slowly but very smoothly expands upon the overarching intrigue. If you play them in a certain order, you get more and more info revealed to you that you didn’t see in other routes, gaps are filled in as you find out more about what actually happened and why, but every route also stands on its own as a full experience and none is more canon than the rest. There’s also some really heavy emotional parental abuse explored, which I found quite potent at times. The romances themselves were alright, I think Karma and Waltz were my faves.

#eff plays

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hopeshoodie · 3 years

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Hi Anne! You always have the most interesting headcanons in the business. So I’m here to ask you a crucial question: what do you think the S2 Islanders drugs of choice are?

Jsjsjsjsj ‘most interesting in the business’ is just code for ‘canon isn’t even a thought in that vacant little head of yours, huh?’

But ok yes so I’m going to include vices in this as well because I don’t see certain characters using drugs per se.

Bobby: WEED. I definitely have a post somewhere where I say that I think Bobby was a stoner during his Paisley Cuddle days, and I still stand by that. Especially if he forayed into harder drugs during that time, I think now he still reverts back to his trusty bong and some weed. It’s cheap, it’s easy, it’s relatively harmless.

Carl: I think Carl’s had a drug problem before, but it was never for recreational use. He wouldn’t turn to amphetamines if he wanted to unwind. I also don’t see him as enjoying being drunk. For me at least, alcohol makes my sensory issues way worse and gauging the right amount his hard, and I’ve heard other autistic people say the same. It seems really boring, but I think Carl’s choice of vice to help him cope is sleeping. Like deadass, he’ll just… Sleep for most of the weekend and spend the rest of the time in bed on his phone. Relaxing is the ability to not choose anything, go anywhere, or do anything. It’s actually pretty maladaptive because he’s just going to feel worse when his routine isn’t followed and he hasn’t moved in two days. Also that can be hard if you’re dating him.

Chelsea: Alcohol. I mean we already knew she had an unhealthy relationship with wine, right? Turns out 2-3 glasses a day isn’t quirky and self-care, it’s alcoholism.

Felix: Molly. I can’t find it, but that one video where a lady is handing out crystals for ‘healing energy’ and the guy just swallows it and downs his drink… Yeah that’s Felix. He doesn’t know what he’s taking half the time, and doesn’t particularly care.

Gary: Alcohol. At the age he is right now, he drinks wayyyy too much vodka and bourbon. I imagine he’s gonna shift to beer, and not /good/ beer either.

Hannah: Coke. ‘What??? Anne??? She’s Wholesome Naïve Book Girl??? She doesn’t smoke crack!?’ you’re right, she doesn’t. She snorts coke. I’ve been around really rich white people. That’s what they do. Hannah 100% snorts coke socially. I don’t think she has the know-how or risk taking behavior to do much else, but she definitely does that. Now whether she has access to a plug/knows how to find one? That’s a different thing entirely. I’m SO confident about this one.

Henrik: Pot or LSD. I’m stuck between the two. Probably both, let’s be honest. He prefers hallucinogens, so if he has a free weekend will do that, but on a casual afternoon would choose marijuana instead because it’s less of a commitment.

Hope : My girl has taste, my girl is responsible. She doesn’t do drugs often, but when she does, she takes acid. She’s tried other things at different points, but acid is the only thing she actively seeks out.

Rahim: Edibles. I’m thinking he prefers/buys the gummies or candies as opposed to it being baked into proper food.

Lucas: Absinthe. He has a super fancy crystal fountain he loves using. I don’t think he’ll default to that unless it’s a party with 3+ people. I think he probably uses sex as a coping/escape mechanism more often than drinking. If he has a bad day or is avoiding something, he’ll immediately run to the girlfriend of the week.

Lottie : Shrooms. She probably went through a rishi tea phase and put ‘medicinal’ mushrooms in everything from food to candy. She won’t do acid, but she does always have a stash of mushrooms to take. Maybe she even grew them herself with rice? She’s stronger than me, for sure.

Marisol: I don’t think Marisol takes drugs, other than caffeine. She’s very chemically dependent on caffeine. But she took a hit of a blunt once and got herself so worked up that she had a panic attack. I think now she’s really quick to announce that weed makes her anxious, despite really giving it a go. And that’s fine!! No one has to try anything! It’s just a little annoying when someone with such little experience wants to lecture everyone else about the effects.

Noah: I can see him taking acid once in college, having a mind blowing experience that he absolutely loved, and then never seeking out the opportunity again. He’ll smoke weed when offered, but that’s not very often. So probably just alcohol. I see him as a beer drinker or a bicardi kind of guy.

Priya: Alcohol, same reason as Chelsea.

Rocco: Weed. Seems self-explanatory. He just… You can smell it on his design, can’t you? I feel like he’s also smoked crack at least once, and has made heroin from a poppy pod.

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sclfcare · 3 years

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♡ + any bbies from our bunCH !

me : does all of them 🥺😩

𝚛𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚘 & 𝚋𝚊𝚋𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚎

who is the most affectionate ?

i'm gonna go out on a limb here and say it's romeo . at least at first when they start actually dating bc babette is still trying to break down her stone - cold bitch persona .

who initiates the handholding ?

i feel like they both do ? like one is always reaching for the other .

who worries more for the other ?

babette bc she still doesn't trust him after he fucked her friend . definitely gets sus if he doesn't answer her calls or something , at least in the beginning .

who is more likely to ask for help ?

oh god i think both of them are so stubborn that they won't ask for help unless it's an actual emergency or they really fucked up .

who is the one always losing the keys ?

babette . definitely . she can't keep track of shit .

who leaves little love notes for the other ?

i think this one would go to romeo . like when babette opens her notebook for class he's written something in there all cute n shit .

who can’t sleep unless the other is there ?

babette , which is why she usually never leaves his place .

who is more likely to propose to the other ?

romeo . babette wants that giant fucking ring .

who introduced the other to their family first ?

i feel like he met babette's family first ? and it went really well , like it was a family bbq and everyone drank and laughed and that's probably when babette finally started to relax and place more faith in romeo and their relationship .

who is more likely to play with the other’s hair ?

they both play with each other's hair , especially when they're going down on each other . lmao whores .

who makes sure the other has meals/stays hydrated ?

babette . she goes full wifey mode sometimes and it disgusts me .

who is more likely to stand up to anyone for the other ?

both of them . there's no way they'd let someone else talk shit about them without starting a fight about it .

who is the most likely to prepare a surprise for the other ?

babette . she likes to catch him off guard , especially with sexy lingerie or something ~kinky .

who makes the other pinky promise not to do certain things ?

babette . he def had to pinky promise to never fuck her friends again .

who puts a blanket over the other when they fall asleep on the couch?

neither bc they both fall asleep together with babette on his chest .

𝚌𝚘𝚕𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚎 & 𝚌𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚎𝚛

who is the most affectionate ?

carter . he's practically obsessed with her and is always letting her know it , too . touching is his love language .

who initiates the handholding ?

again , carter . especially when they are out in public since he tends to get mobbed by fans he just feels safer if he has a hold on her in case they need to make a quick get away .

who worries more for the other ?

colette , especially when he's on tour and they have to be a part from each other for extended periods of time .

who is more likely to ask for help ?

carter . the poor dude his 100% helpless and we all know it .

who is the one always losing the keys ?

both of them bc they got too high and never know where the fuck they left the keys .

who leaves little love notes for the other ?

i can see them both doing this . and when he's on tour he always sends her cute good morning and good night texts .

who can’t sleep unless the other is there ?

both of them . it's pathetic .

who is more likely to propose to the other?

carter . he'd be lying if he said that he didn't already have a ring in mind for her .

who introduced the other to their family first ?

colette mainly because carter would never bring her around his meth - head momma .

who is more likely to play with the other’s hair ?

carter actually loves to play with her hair , like he's mastered a french braid and everything .

who makes sure the other has meals/stays hydrated ?

colette bc carter cannot be responsible for his own damn self .

who is more likely to stand up to anyone for the other ?

carter . he'd just throw punches instantly . he goes 0 to 100 real quick when it comes to someone disrespecting her .

who is the most likely to prepare a surprise for the other ?

carter bc he's a big fan of grand romantic gestures like impromptu trips to hawaii or a new cartier bracelet .

who makes the other pinky promise not to do certain things ?

they both do bc they are 12 years old .

who puts a blanket over the other when they fall asleep on the couch ?

colette bc carter constantly falls asleep on the couch during his time off . lil baby boy is exhausted .

𝚘𝚙𝚑𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚊 & 𝚖𝚞𝚛𝚙𝚑𝚢

who is the most affectionate ?

they both are equally as gross with each other , i feel .

who initiates the handholding ?

murphy . he's protective as fuck over ophelia so it gives him a sense of comfort if he's holding her hand when they are out and about .

who worries more for the other ?

murphy again . i feel like he literally lays there awake at night as she sleeps and thinks through horrible scenarios to be prepared to keep her safe .

who is more likely to ask for help ?

ophelia , mainly bc murphy is too prideful to ask someone for help .

who is the one always losing the keys ?

ophelia bc murphy is always prepared for a quick exit and that includes having his keys nearby .

who leaves little love notes for the other ?

murphy does and it's cute as fuck . he'll leave notes on the pillow beside her if he has to leave before she wakes up .

who can’t sleep unless the other is there ?

i want to say this is mutual , like they both need the other in order to get a sound night's sleep .

who is more likely to propose to the other ?

murphy even though he has a horrible track record with marriage and vowed to never to do it again .

who introduced the other to their family first ?

neither bc she's not associated with her family anymore and neither is he . they are each other's family .

who is more likely to play with the other’s hair ?

murphy loves to play with her hair and does it a lot during sex .

who makes sure the other has meals/stays hydrated ?

lmao murphy bc he's just that damn annoyed / enamored that he wants to make sure she's always healthy .

who is more likely to stand up to anyone for the other ?

murphy . he would kill for her , no questions asked .

who is the most likely to prepare a surprise for the other ?

ophelia . murphy doesn't like surprises but he makes an exception because he is literally heart eyes over everything she does .

who makes the other pinky promise not to do certain things ?

i feel like they wouldn't do pinky promises unless it's something silly like who is going to do the dishes or something

who puts a blanket over the other when they fall asleep on the couch ?

murphy , but he one ups that and carries her into the bedroom .

𝚝𝚘𝚙𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚊 & 𝚛𝚘𝚌𝚌𝚘

who is the most affectionate ?

rocco is , actually . he's always trying to spoil her and is very much obsessed with keeping his hands on her .

who initiates the handholding ?

it depends . i feel like they're both constantly reaching for each other .

who worries more for the other ?

100% topanga . she knows rocco . he's a fucking mess of a human being .

who is more likely to ask for help ?

topanga , bc rocco never asks for help until he's past rock bottom .

who is the one always losing the keys ?

lmao i would say rocco but he rarely drives himself , he has people do that shit for him like the spoiled brat he is .

who leaves little love notes for the other ?

topanga and rocco keeps every one of them .

who can’t sleep unless the other is there ?

rocco . i feel like he's constantly asking her to stay the night which just shifts into her moving in and it all happens v fast but it's them so it works .

who is more likely to propose to the other ?

rocco , and with the biggest , most expensive diamond he could find .

who introduced the other to their family first ?

their families have known each other forever . rocco's parents are dead and topanga's parents think rocco is a druggie loser gkdjrthrth

who is more likely to play with the other’s hair ?

they both pull at / play with each other's hair .

who makes sure the other has meals/stays hydrated ?

topanga bc , again , she knows rocco . he needs someone to remind him to keep himself alive , i actually hate him .

who is more likely to stand up to anyone for the other ?

they both defend each other pretty equally , topanga more so bc people aren't very happy with her being with him .

who is the most likely to prepare a surprise for the other ?

rocco . he's always surprising her with flowers / jewelry / clothes / trips . that's his love language .

who makes the other pinky promise not to do certain things ?

topanga bc they used to do pinky promises when they were kids and it's kind of a sentimental gestures for them .

who puts a blanket over the other when they fall asleep on the couch ?

they both do this for each other i think ? rocco would probably curl up on the couch with her for a nap .

#i love us 🥺😩

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mymostimaginaryfriend · 5 years

Text

QOTS Rewatch S3 Recap

Six months (and *cough* 25,000 words of tag commentary) later my rewatch is complete...just in time for Season 4 to start! As always, my episode to episode commentary can be found in my #qots rewatch tag. The rest of my S3 rewatch recap can be found under the cut.

Let’s start with the rewatch traditional--

It’s Been 0 Days Since Jeresa Saved One Another Fandom Break Room Sign:

3x01-3x02: James saves Teresa by swooping to her rescue in Malta

3x02: Teresa saves James by turning on the lights to distract the sicarios searching her car while James is in the trunk. James saves Teresa by jumping through a f-u-c-k-i-n-g window and tackling the sicario. Teresa saves James by shooting the sicario attacking James. Teresa attempts to save James by begging the police to let him go and just take her instead.

3x03: James saves Teresa by shooting Rocco’s man at the bank.

3x04: They both attempt to save the other by volunteering to stay with Mayo. James saves Teresa by sniper shooting the sheriff.

3x05: James attempts to save Teresa by surrendering to Devon. Teresa saves James by risking her life and going for the guns rather than letting Devon take him.

3x06: James saves Teresa by rescuing her and Guero in Mexico.

3x07: James (and Pote) save Teresa from Pecas’ assassin at the winery.

3x08: Teresa saves James by tackling him when he runs toward the about to explode van.

3x13: Gonna go ahead and give James an honorary one for his departure in the finale.

SEASON THREE TALLY: James saves Teresa: 7; Teresa saves James: 4 (and one could argue on an existential level, which is immeasurable really? lol). But the discrepancy does make sense: for the first time, S3 has James’ official job description include saving Teresa. Protecting her isn’t just a hobby anymore it’s a profession ;)

One Thing I Wished I’d Kept Track of on Rewatch: All the times Teresa has said,”I want to make a deal” or the like because she says it a LOT. I love that for Teresa conflict avoidance is fair and logical business dealings.

S3 Reoccurring Trends:

Teresa’s Explosive Season: 3x01 Teresa survives the flash bomb in the Malta Cafe; 3x10 Teresa survives Devon bombing El Santo’s compound; 3x13 Teresa survives Cortez’s bomb in the shipment.

James and Teresa in Police Custody: (Or the one of these things is not like the other): 3x02 we got the classic Top Ten Places to Do Time Jeresa convo in the back of a police car before they both ultimately walk away free; 3x04 Teresa and James are picked up by Mayo and driven to the middle of nowhere together before Teresa is taken away but both eventually walk away free; 3x13 James...rides off into the night in Devon’s custody. Ouch. Let’s hope the “eventually walks away free” is implied.

Teresa’s Cartel Extraction Plan: 3x05 she offers Kelly Anne money and papers for a new life after the Devon winery confrontation; 3x11 Teresa gives Lil T a bag full of cash and her walking papers; 3x13 Teresa sets up a five year exit plan for Taza; 3x13 Teresa doesn’t try to stop James from leaving once he says it is what he wants. Hope her own extraction plan is in the works, the opening scene 1x01 perhaps?

James Digging His Own Graves: 3x04 James is left by Mayo on the side of the road with a dead reporter and shovel; 3x06 James and Pote bury Guero; 3x11 James presumably buries Kelly Anne; Does turning himself into Devon at the end count? Gotta say I was concerned when the isolated meeting place was shot the same as the roadside meet with Mayo.

And of course The Jeresa Trust Carousel: round and round it goes. IMO James entered the season knowing HIS feelings for Teresa and where he stood. This season was Teresa’s journey of trusting James, to admittedly mixed results. You can read my meta about that here, here, here, here, here and here. As we know, James exited said carousel at the end of S3. It’ll be interesting to see what strides Teresa takes trust-wise while they are apart and if that ever results in a second try at a different trust capability level later on in the show?

Related: Things That Make You Go Hmmm... James has saved someone by NOT killing them for Teresa every season. In season one he spared the maid, in season two he spared Guero and in season three he...shot and killed Kelly Anne? OR DID HE. Guess we’ll find out soon!

Miscellaneous Observations and Oh, What Could Have Been:

Still bummed we didn’t get Teresa, James and Camila all in the same conversation together having to quickstep a competing loyalties line dance at least ONCE. Kinda would have liked to see how well James could do-si-do that situation, or at least have to try?

I wish we had gotten some Kelly Anne and King George hijinks–can you imagine the chaotic good energy of THOSE two on a mission together? Or, you know, at least sharing a scene?

If the show refuses to give James any backstory how about giving the guy an El Santo hallucination and see what shakes loose? I’m not picky.

While I’m excited to see what Javier will bring to the story, I couldn’t help but notice that S3 had Teresa losing two female friendships/connections (Kellly Anne and Lil T) and adding two male (Javier and Boaz). All of the S4 promos have been focused on Teresa and....a bunch of dudes. And that can’t be right, RIGHT SHOW?! RIGHT?!

AND MOST OF ALL...THANK YOU And finally I’d just like to thank everyone who has been along for the rewatch ride with me: all the wonderful gif makers, those who liked & reblogged, those who sent asks or messages. I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you all during this long hiatus. It wouldn’t have been the same without you! I’m grateful for you all and the friendships I’ve made since S3. Thank you so much for welcoming me into the fandom! Here’s to a wonderful S4!!

#qots #qots rewatch #qots season 3 #txt post #my post

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revengeisalwaysanoption · 5 years

Note

I don’t know if you’re taking prompts, but I think it would be funny to read something about The Boy Squad and Niccolò playing truth or dare, spin the bottle or something like that. And another one: Marti trying to hide his hickeys from The boys, because Niccolò simply loves his neck 🤷🏻‍♀️😂 (btw I love your writing!)

Thanks! I’m sorry it took me so long, but I finally have it. Hope it doesn’t disappoint too much…

******************************

Nobody thought Martino could actually pull this off.

‘You’ve got the worst poker face in the world, zì.’ Giovanni reminded him, sure that Niccolò would know something was up as soon as he opened the door. That might be true, but Gio was definitely underestimating how good his best friend could be at sidetracking Nico. He wouldn’t even remember his own name, once he was done with him…

‘If you manage not to give it away tonight, and that’s a big if… you want me to believe that you’re gonna tell him that you’re busy and that you really can’t stay, when morning comes?’ Elia rolled his eyes, disbelief written all over his face. The plan could work, because it wasn’t something you’d ever expect from Martino… but it was hard to imagine this boy would really let Niccolò spend most of the next day alone.

‘Aren’t you gonna feel guilty about keep a secret from him?’ Luca asked, genuinely surprised by this new – stealthy – side of Martino. ‘I feel bad already… so maybe you better text me the details at the last minute. I can’t promise I won’t say something I shouldn’t, if he asks me…’

Yeah, he had taken that into account. Maybe he should have told Luchino that there wasn’t anything to feel sorry, or guilty, about. That as soon as Ni would find the first clue inside the ukulele, he’d know he has been sent on a treasure hunt. He wouldn’t really care that asking for help from his friends could be considered cheating – let it be known that he still is the Greatest Fucking Cheater Ever Existed – but he’d try not to involve them just because it’s their game…Marti should have told Luchino, sure. But it implied talking about the handwritten notes, the flipbook, the antidote, the giraffes… About things that he didn’t feel like to share that with anyone, because they were just theirs.Contrary to everybody’s expectations, indeed, Martino managed to surprise Niccolò.He had him running and cycling all over the city – including their school terrace, were Chicco Rodi and Rocco Martucci were waiting for him – to collect clues on where to find him… Which ended up being the most obvious place, if only Niccolò had taken a moment to stop and think: in that same swimming pool where they first kissed, without any Renato to interrupt them now.He let him think that they were going home to make up for lost time, alone… And then got a bit frantic when Niccolò turned on the light and looked at him and then at their friends, like he couldn’t believe his eyes…Was it too much? Was he overwhelmed?

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!”Trust Luchì to break the ice and hug Niccolò so tight that he couldn’t help but hug him back and start laughing.

Silvia came to the rescue, handing out slices of cake to everyone. It was barely more edible than the one she had prepared for the first meeting at Radio Osvaldo but he ate it with such gusto that one would think it was the best thing he had ever tasted.

He was gifted with pictures and embarrassing stories of his boyfriend’s first year in high school by Eva, shared travelling tips with Eleonora and went off on a rant about the upcoming maturità with Edoardo and Federico. If there was one good thing that came out from Covitti being a jerk, in the end, it was that it showed Incanti and Canegallo could be pretty decent people. Who wouldn’t side with the homophobic asshole out of fear of being called gay themselves, as most other boys at school seemed to do.

Who would break a bottle on someone’s head, if it came down to it, before their friend could be seriously harmed.

He discussed about some stickers and pins he had designed for Pride this year with Filippo, and explained to a very intrigued Luchino what pansexuality was with Sava’s help.

They were both very kind and patient and answered each one of his inappropriate questions, and Filippo even went far as shutting down Martino’s groans when Luca said “So, bi and pans do have something in common: they could both pass off as straight if they wanted, right?” with a “That’s rich, coming from you.”

“Uh?”

“I mean… I remember you thinking being ace was equal to being celibate, until what… Last week? Didn’t you say they were ‘straight-passing’ too, Rose?”

“I’m still learning, okay?” Martino mumbled, pouting. Both Niccolò and Filippo were older than him, so of course they knew more about this stuff!

“We know you are.” Niccolò conceded, walking over to his boyfriend to kiss him on the lips. “So am I. So is Filippo. So is everyone here in my house, today.”

“What they’re saying is just that we can all learn something from each other, Marti! That’s why I like to ask questions, you know? I like to learn…”

“Yeah, but it’s not their responsibility to educate you, Luchì.” Elia butted in, getting an impressed look from Filippo – not that he gave a damn about that, not in slightest. “I hate to be the one who breaks the news to you, bro, but the Internet is for more than just porn.”

Sana cornered him in the kitchen, half an hour later, to stress that they all agreed his house was the best place to have this party because he could kick them all out whenever he pleased.

“You didn’t ask for this, and you shouldn’t feel like you have to entertain your guests, you know?” She casted a glance to their friends, who were now in the middle of a ridiculous game Federica had suggested. “Don’t let us overstay our welcome, okay?”

So he doesn’t. It’s like being aware that he has a way out, that he can call this off whenever he wants - and they won’t hold it against him, they won’t be thinking “What’s got into Fares, now? – is enough to put his mind at ease. Having Martino by his side, soothing his nerves and grounding him with the lightest of touches upon his shoulders, helps a lot too.

As the birthday boy he also gets to have the last word on the party games, vetoing strip poker and spin-the-bottle. They were fun when he had been in middle school, and he can still hear his old friends cheering when the bottle pointed to the girl he had been crushing on for weeks – he can’t even remember her name, now, how pathetic is that? – but a trip down the memory lane is the last thing he needs, tonight.

“Truth or dare?” Eva suggests, as both Giovanni and Martino roll their eyes.

They would rather be humiliated at another round of beer pong against her and Silvia, than play that.

“Maybe later.” He says, laughing at the ‘yes, please’ looks from the girls and the ‘thanks, but no thanks’ glares from the boys. “I’m not drunk enough for that yet…”

It’s nice of Martino not to freak out, turning the suggestion down on his behalf because it would be too ‘dangerous’ (dares do tend to escalate quickly, when he is involved). It’s such a welcome change that he wants to savor it, honor it by throwing in his own proposal.

“What about ‘Never have I ever?’”

A drinking game that favors the youngest and most inexperienced among them, doesn’t force anyone to embarrass themselves – they set the ground rule that not drinking doesn’t necessarily mean you never did what has just been mentioned, but that you don’t feel letting people know anything about it.

It was either that or demanding his guests not to get too personal, which can’t really be expected when some are already so inebriated that they are having giggle fits playing peek-a-boo with each other (and Edoardo and Eleonora have no right to make such a silly picture look so endearing, haven’t they?).

The first rounds are rather tame. No one has ever been to Japan, apart from the Savas. No one ever tried to eat insects, apart from Luchino. Some admit to stealing candies when they were younger, some others reveal they went skinny dipping after seeing it on TV. It doesn’t feel as thrilling or liberating as TV shows made it look, though.

Sana plays dirty by asking about porn, to which everybody has to take a drink.

“Never have I ever had sex with a girl.” Luca says, knowing that for once he’ll get the upper hand on half of the Contrabbandieri and the boys from Villa. Well, isn’t this interesting.

Fede, Sana and Eva do not drink but Eleonora does. She grins at her brother, who looks at her with such fondness that Niccolò almost feel like he’s intruding.

Elia is pondering whether to drink or not, but in the end he surprises everyone by leaving it untouched.

Before anyone else can react to that, however, Martino grabs his beer and chugs it down.

“What? When?” Giovanni sounds more outraged than Niccolò could ever bring himself to be. He doesn’t really mind what Martino did in the past, he’d rather revel in the fact that he chose to be with him in the present.

Gio immediately backtracks, when he notices that Marti is still staring at the bottom of his glass.

‘Sex’ is a broad definition, indeed, and who is he to say ‘no, if it isn’t penetrative it doesn’t count’ ?

“I’m sorry. Forget I even asked, it’s none of my business.” He drinks one more of his shots, saying that it’s his penalty for breaking the rules. “We did agree that we shouldn’t ask questions about why is drinking or not, didn’t we? My bad.” He shrugs, as Martino mouths an ‘Apologies accepted thanks.’

“Never have I ever kissed a boy.” Sana admits, diverting the attention to herself.

Elia and Gio drink at the same time, and then rush to say “No! It wasn’t him! Ew, he’s like a brother to me!”

The more they deny it, the less they sound believable, so they just drop it and look at Niccolò expectantly.

“Never have I ever used make up to hide hickeys.” He says, proudly, earning a punch in the shoulder from his boyfriend. Who is now down to 3 beers, not quite being the ‘boring gay’ most assume him to be.

“That’s because I’m considerate enough not to leave you looking like you were mauled or something.” Martino mumbles, ignoring the knowing smirks from his friends. They were well aware of how much Niccolò liked his neck, and hadn’t been fooled by the disappearance of scarves and turtlenecks.

“I wouldn’t mind if you did. I love when you claim me as yours.” Niccolò whispers, brushing his nose against Martino’s and then nuzzling his cheek.

“You do?” It’s just the two of them in the room, now, as he cups Nico’s face in both his hands and sighs contentedly when the other boy nods and kisses his fingers.

“Guys! Please! Either stop it or get a room!” Someone hollers, breaking the spell.

“Never have I ever eaten ass.” Filippo states, just to see everyone squirm. It’s way too personal, too intimate, for anyone to dare and drink.

“Hey! No cheating!” Elia complains, getting up to point his finger right into Filippo’s chest. “You are a cheat and a liar. You’re out. And so am I, ‘cause this is getting old and boring and if we don’t get out soon those two will start fucking in front of our eyes.”

“And you know he’s lying because…?” Eva insists, intrigued by this new turn of events.

“TOO MUCH INFORMATION, GUYS!!” Giovanni shakes his head, covering his ears. “If we’re playing truth or dare, now, please leave those things where they belong. In the bedroom.”

“Getting a taste of your own medicine, Gio?” Nice to know that not even a heavy make out session with Niccolò would stop Martino from passing up the opportunity to tease him. “That’s fine by me. I’ve heard more than I ever asked for, already. Things I’d rather forget, thank you.” And if Elia wants to come clean about being with Filippo, it shouldn’t happen through a stupid party game.

Niccolò dares most people to eat what he cooked, of course.

Luca dares him to see who can fold himself faster into the biggest suitcase he owns – and loses, but he beams when Silvia kisses his cheek and tells him that he just needs to work on his flexibility, but that it was a valiant attempt nonetheless.

Edoardo goes for ‘truth’, of course, knowing that Ele would love that. It would be easy to take advantage of it by asking what if he ever felt ashamed of himself, or to whether or not he ever fell in love before meeting Eleonora. They are all better than that, after all they’ve been through.

“What’s the most idiotic thing you ever spent your money on?”

“Marco’s eighteenth?”

“How can you say that when you’ve got a horse?” Federico reminds him, slapping his neck.

“Hey, I happen to like horse riding. You know that. I’d rather spend a thousand euros on Furia than 10 on Covitti. What about you, Nico?”

“Louboutins.” It didn’t feel stupid, at the time. When she got those shoes, though, she told him he was crazy to waste so much money on shoes. She did appreciate the gesture, but it was imperative that he returned them as soon as possible.

He doesn’t quite know how Martino would react if he got him an expensive gift. Better than Maddalena, that’s for sure, but… Well, there’s no point in speculating: he’s gonna find out in July, when they’ll leave for their romantic getaway in Paris, isn’t he?

Martino dodges dares for a while, going for ‘truth’ even when it means confessing that:

a) Nico and him aren’t big on pet names (“Have you ever heard yourself when you start going ‘oh, you idiot’ ‘shut up, jerk’ ‘you wish, asshole’ ‘wanna a piece of this, wanker‘ ‘you know I do, dickhead’?” Giovanni points out “ ‘cause you ‘insults’ are totally pet names, guys)

b) he had a crush on Gio, though it never compared to what he feels for Niccolò – “you’re giving us all cavities, Marti, have you got no shame?”.

Eventually, though, those fuckers get him to sing a duet with Nico. Of course they choose Vattene Amore and sing along when they get to the ‘ci chiederemo come mai il mondo sa tutto di noi… magari ti chiamerò trottolino amoroso e dudu-dadadà e il tuo nome sarà il nome di ogni città…’ part, filming everything with their smartphones.

By the end of the night, no one is sober enough to walk home. Let alone drive.

The girls set up a blanket fort in the living room, claiming that they cannot kick Niccolò out of his bed and wouldn’t feel comfortable sleeping in his parents’ bed. He argues that they are gonna regret that in the morning, when their back is gonna remind them why it’s not a good idea to doze off on the floor.

Edoardo and his friends insist that they can run on caffeine alone and they are more than happy to crash on a chair. Whatever.

Niccolò is too high on the love he got from everyone tonight, to care about logistics.

So what if he has to share his bed with four other guys. Who cares if they constantly complain that he’s bony, that he snores and has got cold feet – “seriously, Marti, now I get why you always so tired on Mondays…” Luchino whines, trying to smother himself with a pillow and put an end to his misery “how can anyone get any rest, with him in their bed?” – or if it’s such a tight fit that they all have to lay on their sides and nobody has got room to turn in their sleep?

It’s still the best birthday he ever got.

#skam italia #nicotino #rames #elippo #my writing

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crossbows-and-moonshine · 5 years

Text

All or Nothing (Chapter 7)

(Chapter 1)

(Chapter 2)

(Chapter 3)

(Chapter 4)

(Chapter 5)

(Chapter 6)

Murphy couldn't get out of work fast enough, he just wanted to see Savannah, just like every other day. Connor could barely keep up with him on the way home. They were meeting her at the pub today but the boys were going home first to change and shower the smell of meat and blood off them. Murphy sat on the couch, smoking and watching some game show on tv as he waited for Connor to finish in the shower. He had already showered and got ready and he was thrumming with energy, ready to burst out of the door and run to the pub to see her. When Connor came out, he sat on the couch and lit up a smoke himself.

Murphy looked at him curiously. The past few days his brother had been unusually quiet and grumpy which was unlike him at all, he knew something was bothering him. He was blocking him mentally too, and that was the most worrying thing since they never blocked each other. Murphy didn't know what it could be that was eating at his brother that it was so bad he had to hide it from him.

“So ye gonna tell me why ye got a face like a smacked ass or ye just gonna ruin everyone's night?” Murphy asked dryly, quirking a brow at his brother. Connor glanced at him, narrowing his eyes as he inhaled his smoke, looking away once again.

“Its nothin’ so just shut it.” He snapped, making Murphy sit up straighter at his tone.

“I don’t fuckin’ think so, something's eatin’ at ye and I’m not gonna sit here and let ye talk te me like shit, so just tell me!” Murphy yelled, his temper flaring at how his brother had spoken to him. Connor had the decency to look abashed and it only confused Murphy more.

He tried to search his brain for something his brother could have done that was putting him in this awful mood.

“Ah fuck, don't tell me ye knocked a lass up, Ma will lose her shit.” Murphy lamented, making Connor look at him incredulously.

“I haven't knocked anyone up alright?!” Connor shouted, still looking shocked that Murphy would even think such a thing.

“Then what the fuck is it?!” Murphy asked exasperatedly.

“I’m fuckin’ jealous Murphy!” He yelled as he stood up, pacing and tugging hard on his hair, making it stick up more. Murphy just blinked at him for a moment looking bewildered.

“Jealous o’ what?” He asked, his brow furrowed, completely confused. Connor turned to look at him with an icy glare.

“O’ you, you and Savannah. She’s fuckin’ perfect. She's beautiful, funny, kind and sweet. She's all shy and adorable and o’ course ye had te find her first.” Connor sneered at himself, shaking his head as he clenched his jaw.

Murphy's eyebrows rose almost off his head completely, shock colouring his face. He hadn't expected that at all and now he was at a loss for words.

“Have ye got feelin’s for her?” He asked carefully, his voice quiet. He wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer but at the same time, he knew he needed to.

Connor heaved a sigh and sat down with his head in his hands, and all Murphy could do was look at him.

“Doesn’t fuckin’ matter does it.” He spat brokenly, standing and going to his coat. Murphy jumped up off the couch and grabbed his wrist, turning him to face him. Connor looked so sad and guilty and Murphy hated seeing him this way.

“It does matter. If ye’ve got feelin’s for me girl then I think I have a right te know.” Murphy lamented, looking at his brother imploringly which only served to make the lighter twins guilt increase. His chest heaved as he looked down, unable to look at Murphy any longer as he nodded. Murphy's heart sank in his chest. If Murphy didn't like her so much he would have just passed her off to Connor or got rid of her completely. They had never let a girl come between them before and they weren't about to start now. But the problem was, Murphy was falling for the girl, hard. He was conflicted, seeing the pain all over his brothers face, a pain he hadn't ever seen before.

Connor was the one who had a few relationships that lasted longer than one night, Murphy rarely saw a girl more than twice. They hadn't been in this situation before. The both of them caring for one girl, and it was awkward, Murphy didn't know how to fix it. He didn't want to have to leave her, he knew it would break his heart and hers if he did and he didn't want that one bit. But looking at his brother's pained face was crushing him, he felt guilty despite the fact he had technically done nothing wrong.

“Like I said, it doesn't matter.” Connor whispered, wiping a hand over his face before leaving, not waiting for his brother. Murphy just stared at the door for a minute, his brain still absorbing the new information. He wasn't sure what to do but he knew Savannah would be waiting at the pub for them by now and he didn't want to keep her waiting, he would have to deal with it later and hope his brother would be okay. He grabbed his coat and jogged out of the door, trying to catch up to his brother who was stood at the elevator.

Savannah sat in the booth with Amy and Rocco. She felt like a third wheel, watching as they spoke among themselves and giggled together. It was sweet but she felt so out of place. They would occasionally include her in the conversation, sensing her anxiety grow at waiting for the boys. She was starting to worry they wouldn't show, that somehow Murphy had changed his mind about her and just wouldn't bother.

“Hey, don’t worry, they’ll turn up.” Rocco smiled warmly at her, making her smile back and nod gratefully. He was a good man, she liked him and she definitely approved of him for her best friend, he was much better than the assholes she was used to seeing Amy with.

The door to the bar opened and the bar erupted in cheers, she glanced over to see a miserable looking Connor with a tense-looking Murphy behind him. They received claps on the back as they walked in and they both smiled, although she could see they were forced. She wondered what happened and if that was why they were late, she wondered if for some reason they were mad at her even though she hadn't done a thing. She chewed her lip, watching as they made their way over but she felt relief flood her body when Murphy lay his eyes on her and graced her with a beaming smile. Connor didn't acknowledge her though which was odd as Amy stood, letting him slide into the booth next to her on the other side so she could still sit next to Rocco. Savannah scooted up, letting Murphy sit next to her and he wrapped an arm around her shoulder. She looked at him with a smile and he leant in, kissing her head. She was slightly confused, he usually kissed her properly but for some reason he hadn't. Her mind was doing it again, running away with itself over the smallest thing, but she tried to ignore it, they obviously had issues going on.

“Everything okay?” She whispered softly to him.

“Aye.” He smiled, once again fake as he nodded. She furrowed her brow a little wondering what was wrong and why he was lying to her but she didn't push it, it wasn't her place after all, he would tell her if he wanted to. After about an hour of drinking, Connor seemed in a better mood, laughing and joking with his brother and Rocco, making the girls laugh. He still seemed to be avoiding her though, refusing to look at her even once and she didn't know what was going on, if she had offended him somehow.

“I’m gonna go for a smoke.” Murphy said quietly to her, making her nod. She presumed she was to go with him, she usually did so they could just have a moment to themselves, but Murphy looked at Connor and they locked eyes. She swore they were having some kind of conversation without words. Connor stood up though and she knew he was going with Murphy instead, once again confusing her a little, but if there was something wrong with them, it made sense they wanted to talk to each other. Murphy kissed her cheek before standing up and she watched him leave forlornly.

Murphy leant against the wall outside as he inhaled his smoke, watching his brother as he fidgeted.

“Connor… I don't know what ye want me te do about the whole thing, I don't even know what te say.” Murphy lamented, frowning as he shook his head.

“I don't expect ye te do a damn thing. She belongs te you, not me, I just need te fuckin’ deal wit’ it.” Connor sighed, exhaling his smoke and watching it twirl around in the darkness. Murphy didn't like this one bit, he hated his brother being so upset and he couldn't do anything to fix it, he couldn't make him feel better.

“Answer me this, do ye actually like her or do ye just wanna fuck her?” Murphy asked him bluntly, making Connor look at him with wide eyes.

“For fuck sake Murph!” Connor frowned, discarding his smoke.

“Just fuckin’ answer me, it’s important.” Murphy sighed, his eyes never leaving his brother. Connor wasn't sure just why Murphy was asking him but he heaved a sigh.

“I actually like her Murphy, I tried not te, but it just happened.” He admitted, looking sheepish as he glanced at him. Murphy raked his teeth over his lower lip as he nodded, inhaling his smoke again, leaving the pair in a minute of silence that was far too awkward for any of their liking.

“What if...uh...if she wasn't opposed te it...if we both...ye know…” Murphy bit out, looking incredibly uncomfortable. He didn't want to call it sharing her or passing her back and forth like she was some object because she wasn't. Connor scoffed incredulously and shook his head.

“C’mon Murph, ye really think she’d go for that? The girls clearly smitten wit’ ye, she ain’t got no need for me.” He sighed, once again, his words making his brothers heart ache. They'd shared girls for sex more than enough times, passed them between them if they got bored. The few times when Connor had been in a relationship and he kind of liked the girl, he had sometimes let her go off with Murphy because apparently girls liked the both of them. But it had never been this way, with the pair of them caring for one girl to this extent. She was Murphys, at least in his eyes, but he couldn't deny that Connor clearly cared about her, and although he would never want another man's hands on her, his brother was different. He had never minded sharing with his brother, they had shared everything their whole life. It almost didn't feel like sharing because of their twin bond, they almost felt like one person sometimes split in half. She already seemed to get on well with Connor now, she was even sleeping in his bed and letting him cuddle her, and Murphy had to wonder what she thought about the whole thing, if she felt anything too. If he was honest, the more he thought about the idea, the more it didn't seem to bother him. His brother would be happy, and if his girl wanted that too, then why not?

“We could ask her and see.” Murphy shrugged, making Connor look at him like he’d grown three heads.

“Ask her? Are ye insane? What the fuck would ye say, hey me brother likes ye quite a bit, ye wanna have a three-way relationship wit’ him?” He asked incredulously, making Murphy squint at him.

“Well we’d word it better than that.” He deadpanned, tossing his smoke away as he looked at his brother. Connor scratched the scruff on his chin for a moment before his eyes finally met his brothers.

“And what about you? I don't wanna do this if it’ll cause shit Murph.” He said seriously, and Murphy knew his brother meant it.

“It's never caused shit before.” Murphy insisted softly, looking so casual about the whole thing that it confused Connor just a bit.

“We’ve never both liked a lass like this before.” Connor pointed out seriously. Murphy sighed and stood up straighter looking through his lashes at his brother.

“Look, I don't know alright? All I’m sayin’ is, if ye like her and she likes ye back, and it won't change how she feels about me, I don’t mind it. I’m used te sharin’ wit’ ye Connor and honestly...it just feels right. She already sleeps in yer bed most nights instead o’ mine, ye can't say ye've not thought about it.” Murphy said with a shrug.

Of course Connor had thought about it and his brothers reassuring words had eased his mind just a little, that he wasn't mad at him and he didn't want to kill him. He knew it was a delicate situation because Murphy was falling for the girl, but the issue was so was Connor. Could it work? The three of them? He didn't know if she would even want that. He hadn't failed to notice how she had stopped tensing when he cuddled her at night, or how her breathing hitched if his fingers stroked her tummy affectionately. Or how when he sometimes spoke to her when she got in his bed, his tone hushed and right in her ear, she would shiver and blush. It had to make him wonder just what would happen if they broached the subject with the girl, they knew it was scary, rocking the boat, it could change everything in a bad way and they could both never hear from her again. But Connor could only hope that wasn't the case, especially since she was so smitten with Murphy, that she would stay even if it was just for him. Connor would be hurt, sure, but he didn't want to ruin this for his twin, not when he had been so happy. He had tried to stuff his feelings down but it had been getting harder and harder with each passing day, especially with her in his bed every time she stayed there. He really just hoped things would be okay.

Savannah was once again left as the third wheel but it wasn't until Rocco and Amy started making out that has felt wildly uncomfortable. Her anxiety was getting the best of her. The boys felt off with her and it made her nervous and her mind was running rife with everything and anything she could have possibly done to upset them. She didn't want to be here anymore, she suddenly wanted very much to be at home and hide in bed. She grabbed her bag and slipped out of the booth unnoticed, her best friend was too busy playing with Roccos tonsils to see her leave. She slipped out of the door and saw the boys just a little away stood and talking in hushed tones.

They hadn't seen her and she stood there for a minute debating if she should go over or not. She knew she should, to explain that she was leaving, but they looked deep in conversation and she didn't want to intrude, she was still feeling miffed that she had somehow upset them and she was upset with herself for whatever it was she had done and the fact she couldn't figure it out. So instead, she walked off, making her way to the bus stop in the dark on her own. Her anxiety was killing her but she'd be home soon enough and she could hide there until work the next day. She knew Amy would kick her ass for this but she didn't care. She didn't really feel like anyone wanted her there anyway so it wasn't like they'd mind that she left.

Connor and Murphy walked back inside the pub and over to the booth, there was no sign of Savannah though and they glanced to each other with furrowed brows.

“Wheres ‘Vannah?” Murphy asked confused as he looked at his best friend who was currently sucking face with Amy. They broke away from each other and Connor rolled his eyes impatiently. Amy looked to where the girl should have been sat and she blanched a little.

“I...don’t know.” She said carefully, feeling a little guilty. Murphy's frown deepened and he shook his head with a scoff.

“Maybe she's in the bathroom?” Rocco offered with a shrug.

“I’ll go check.” Amy smiled, getting up and going to the bathroom. When she came back a few minutes later though she was frowning and she looked worried.

“She wasn't there.” She said softly, suddenly feeling incredibly bad that her best friend had left and she hadn't even noticed.

Murphy sat up straighter, clearly distressed, anything could have happened to her, it was dark outside and he had no clue why she would just leave, without even a goodbye. He watched as Amy pulled her phone out and held it to her ear. It took a moment before Savannah seemingly answered and it was frustrating that he could only hear Amy's side of the conversation.

“Savvie? Where the hell are you?” Amy frowned, going quiet for a moment as the girl must have replied.

“What? Why the hell are you on the bus home? You left without telling anyone, do you have any idea how worried we were? That's just selfish!” She didn't mean to sound so harsh, she had just been worried for her friend. But she knew how sensitive Savannah was and she knew the second those words left her mouth it would upset her best friend and it only made her feel worse.

The boys all watched as Amy's face paled and she shook her head looking pained.

“Savvie… I’m sorry okay? Savvie?” She heaved a sigh and set her phone down, the girl had hung up on her.

“What the hells wrong wit’ her, why did she go home?” Murphy frowned, feeling clueless as to what had happened. Amy looked at him, running a hand through her long hair.

“She said she didn't feel like she was wanted here, and she didn't feel like playing third wheel when you two were dealing with whatever it was you were dealing with.” She replied tensely, knowing they were all to blame really, but her harsh words had caused her best friend to snap at her and hang up, she didn't like it one bit. Murphy blanched, looking to Connor. He hadn't realised it was so obvious there was tension between them or that there was something wrong and that, coupled with Amy and Rocco, had led the girl to leave without a goodbye. He got his phone out and opened his messages, starting to type.

‘I’m sorry about tonight. You didn’t have to leave love’ He sighed as he set the phone down, finger tapping the table as he waited for a reply.

‘It’s fine. You and Connor were busy and I felt uncomfortable watching Amy and Rocco make out’

He chewed his lip as he read her message, feeling so bad he had made her feel unwanted and that she had left.

‘Can I see you tomorrow?’

It felt like a lifetime until he got a reply from her and when he did, it wasn't what he had expected.

‘I’m not sure, I might just stay at home after work’

His stomach dropped as he read the message over and over. They had all fucked up. This was the girl who was anxious in every situation known to man, the girl who dreaded being around other humans. She had finally come out of her shell and they had all ruined it by making her feel like a spare part and like she wasn't wanted around, and she seemed to have slunk back into her hermit shell to protect herself. He cursed himself, his brother and their two friends. He felt his anger flaring up but it wasn't at his girl.

‘If you change your mind, let me know. Goodnight love x’

‘Night’

No kiss, just one word, he really had upset her, and he wasn't really sure how to fix it. It was bad enough dealing with the new revelation that his twin brother had started falling for the girl too, but now this. He was terrified she would just close up completely and not talk to him again and the thought hurt him, he didn't want to be away from her now, he wanted to spend every second of the day with her, and he had pushed her away without meaning to. He needed to think of something, anything to bring her back from that lonely place she was so used to retreating to every time she got upset or worried about something. He needed her.

Taglist; @risingphoenix761 @daryldixonandfrogs @arlaina28 @divadinag

#boondock saints #boondock saints fanfic #murphy macmanus #murphy macmanus fanfic #connor macmanus #connor macmanus fanfic

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roccoreceipts-blog · 6 years

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CALLOUT FOR MARS / BARON / ROCCO / MIMI / PIPPI / MARIA WHO CURRENTLY OWNS @VINYLBITCHIN + @HANDFUCKIING + @FLESHPRAY + @SHESCHISM + BUNKERKEPT . CONTENT WARNING FOR ABUSE, PEDOPHILIA, RAPE, RACEFAKING, ETC.   

a quick introduction though i'm kinda uncomfortable, im 17 i run a few blogs on this hellsite and i have some concerns for people's safety. this isn't a petty post either, is genuinely fearful for myself and others she's abused in the past and will continue to do so and it's about time we all came out about this because it's gone on way too long and i blame myself more than anything for holding back. i just felt unsafe and i do more so now but it's worth other people's safety. and everybody knows i'm definitely not one to do something like this and i've had such a hard time coming out about this from guilt. i want to make this short and to the point. i don't wanna take up too much time because we could go off for hours about all of her drastic lies like how she supposedly got hypothermia in 45 degree weather or how she lied about being in a s.chool s.hooting ( one , two , three ) ironically she had sent me a fanfiction of the c.olumbine s.hooters in the past and guilt tripped me the moment i said it wasn't right. or the time she told me she was taken hostage which i might have stayed believing if it weren't for the fact she was roleplaying with a character from that movie on her @lleeta blog not too long ago ( one , two , three ) but anyway.

im never gonna be able to recover completely but i want to reach out and warn people. me and others have gone through her explicit / obsessive / rape roleplays but i can fucking guarantee no matter how many times i was ( or the others ) guilt tripped into saying YES despite how uncomfortable i was but couldn't tell her , she does still do them from what i know. she tends to warp characters ( other muns put in these scenarios have told me the same thing bc she did it to multiple people ) to make them far more obsessive / creepy then they are even meant to be. i'll start out by saying ive known rocco since the end of 2015 or so and we instantly became friends. we quickly made our ocs out to be affiliated, though they were SUPPOSED to be father and daughter (and often i would let her portray an oc i of mine who is supposed to be a love interest), she would always propose obsessive rape plots, and even an explicit plot of a forced marriage au between the father and daughter muses which was clear she wanted to lead to smut (warning for a graphic detail i can't get out of my fucking head was her saying she could imagine hannah / the daughter on her knees being forced to unbuckle his belt but said it as if it were almost ? something she got ? in a way , excited over ??) of course i don't have many screenshots of these things especially because i was isolated by her for about a year at the time , trusted her , and no matter how sick or anxious ive felt getting her messages i didn't really know i had the choice to come out about it , especially considering how hostile she would be when i had friends or even my ex .

( one , two , three , four , five ) we were actually dating at this time, which was a relationship i was basically forced / guilt tripped in after saying no countless times. she would often numb me down when i would say no to things, whether it was her asking to be in a relationship with me or even roleplay, in which at one point i've counted 20+ screenshots of her constantly begging even though i had just declined. at this time is when i was isolated so i don't the have exact proof because again, i didn't know about the abuse going on in front of my face and i didn't known what to do about it. she would constantly guilt trip me over these things and i felt very vulnerable though i do tend to play things off when i'm uncomfortable.

now i'll move on to some more recent -ish shit or at least things i haven't completely blocked out from my memory since that's most of what i have. we've been friends on and off because she had eventually set me off, our first fight being me angry that she couldn't handle when i declined her roleplays. so it's been a long cycle of me blocking her from discomfort, only for her to constantly make or log into old blogs to try and contact me to manipulate me into friendship again. and it worked. too many times. after all of that, she began to test boundaries which is something she usually does. this included throwing attitude for no reason ( i remember a time i was supposed to be making her icons and couldn't at the time and her response was "it's not that fucking hard" // she's even sent me a screenshot herself before of her in a groupchat where one of the participants had said something and told them "literally nobody cares" and expected me to comfort her after that ) + saying things she knows is wrong + stealing or making blatant rip offs of my original character ( one , two , of course there are far more instances like the time she ran @viirginblood but that's not the point of this post so i'm skipping over that ) + bringing up my past relationships / sometimes family or financial issues + constantly bringing up the fact we got in fights i was trying to move past or try to make me feel bad if i didn't reply right away ( one , two , three , four , five / she also acted very controlling to me any time i wouldn't answer so i would be forced to give an explaination and she would pretend it wasn't just her being "worried" ) + manipulating her into following her / bossing me into doing things she wanted ( one , two ). even some new information came to light that i was completely oblivious to; obviously any time i had a friend or a significant other she had no problem portraying blatant jealousy, i was also informed she was acting possessive of me even when i wasn't around, when i was actually NOT TALKING TO HER AT ALL ( one , two ) . which really freaked me the fuck out.

she would also constantly TRY to spite me when we weren't friends. she's admitted it. she's also admitted in a group call, that i still have contact with one of the participants, that she stalked me when we stopped talking and got her friends to "keep tabs on me" i was also informed of her stalking another minor not too long ago and going back to the spite stealing, it wasn't just one oc, it was concept ideas, urls, even going as far to LITERALLY flat out steal the oc i let her portray ( the one she obsessively wrote out rape roleplays with ) , lied by saying it was a "misunderstanding".

shes also is a rapist and pedophile apologist ! she roleplayed dolores of l.olita and a few people including myself can recall her literally posting / asking for a humbert to roleplay with. i don't know a lot about the film / book itself but i DO know humbert is the pedophile who abused dolores. here's some screenshots of her not only apologizing his actions burn theowing a pity party over it, claiming shen had a right to roleplay dolores getting, what i imagine must have been sexually abused ( one , two , three ).

her relationship with her ex, ( for those of you who don't know ollie you can probably easily find some information on him as a fill in on what he's done / warning for rape ) , she helped him catfish / fake his identity to hide what he did, shows hostility toward the rape victim and shows behavior of a rapist apologist again + talked some nasty transphobic shit about me , not to mention again , i'm underage so that's weird that it's focused on my body especially considering she's 18 here, not to mention she's not still obsessing over me when we aren't talking ( one , two ) + on her @roccospeaks blog she had a while back , she deleted the posts but i'm sure plenty of people saw that she and others were claiming that ollie was FAKING A TRANS IDENTITY ( and this isn't a kiss ass moment to him, i'm just pointing this out: this was after she made those transphobic remarks about me so i highly doubt she can blame her transphobia on being "drunk" here ) because he was wearing makeup and had a feminine appearance . i'm pretty sure the post is still floating about somewhere so if you can find it, it's all there . she continued to focus on me despite we weren't talking, blamed me for being the source of her suicidal tendencies that she's had since i've known her, ironically though she's also told me i'm the reason she says alive in the past — and something she thinks blocking her for comfort is a manipulation tactic or game to her ?? / that and here's some of her guilt tripping all because i soft blocked her ( one , two , three )

i had also recently ended a relationship with an ex of mine , which wasn't ANY of her business but she constantly brought her up plenty of times. as shown above, she's was insisting that my vague posts about ending my relationship were about her no matter what i said ( one , two , three ) + doing so either herself or i suspect getting ollie or his friends to send me anons about MY relationship because i didn't tell anybody else about it, but she sure as hell did ! all while putting blame on me ( one , two )

here are some messages i have of someone informing me she was actually racefaking ! and the funny thing about this is she's white. or at least from what i know? i know she has indeed sent me a link to a post before of a black mun venting about white people or smth like that which was NONE of my fucking business esp considering i wasn't following this person and she told me after sending me the link to the post "i thought i could trust them" where she tried tin get me to comfort her ?? this is also interesting, here she is talking about a minor, THREATENING THAT SAME MINOR, not to mention dissing sex workers and putting an input on reverse racism.

heres more of her obsessive / controlling behaviors over not letting people follow / interact with me out of sheer spite and not wanting them to be able to know what she has done ( one , two , three , four , five , six , though there's many more i lost ) here's more evidence of her interest in writing problematic issues / warning for rape ( one , two ) i have many more screenshots of her situations with ollie but chose not to post them; however if you would like to see them you can ask me, it's just her encouraging him to hack me plus some gaslighting aftermath shen sent me on mun personal when things didn't go her way.

she has also lied about her age to smut multiple times in the past , claimed to be of age here and on multiple blogs. she was at least sixteen at the time. also mentions shes underage here but then says she could LEGALLY portray sexual assault ?? and here's her saying she WILL have depictions of pedophilia on her blog. keep in mind we've known each other for a long time, though it was on and off; she knows very well i'm not 18. if told her before countless times AND it's all over my rules. BUT YET, she's persistent on sending me explicit content KNOWING IM A MINOR / ADMITTING SHE IS 18 after i had vagued about my discomfort ( one , two , three )

as i mentioned above she was always presenting nasty plots to me; i can't stress the fact that it DID make me uncomfortable whether i decided to play it off or not, but later on, when she was indeed of age, presented to me an old, incestous plot and then had the audacity to put the blame on ME, whenever i strictly recall her wanting to ship them / make the more brothers in the first place. my character had already had a brother, her oc she actually made back in 2016 was a spiral off of this canon character. so even afternoon she blamed me for it, we established that i said no, she still chose to focus on his childhood with romance. ( one , two , three , four )

again, im not the only person she's has abused like this. and compared to the things she put ALL OF US through, these have to be some of the lightest fucking examples. but i do hope it is enough to keep others safe or be a warning. i also haven't mentioned anybody for their safety, but if you think you would be willing to share your story you can add on or whatever to get it out their. i really hope you can take my word for or it as well, because it wasn't very hard for me to put myself out here but i think i did the right thing for others.

and last but not least, if she's seeing this, here's a big fat "fuck you" from all us, what you put us through, and blamed us for.

#callout*#pedophilia*#rape*#this is gonna be my last post i don't wanna come back

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dontshootmespence · 7 years

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Coercion - Epilogue

@coveofmemories @reiding-and-writing @myxomatosis-s @skeletoresinthebasement @passionate-hedgehog @camigt1999 @eideticenticement @ultrarebelheart @remember-me-forever-silent-angel @mishamgos @matthewgublers @tinyplanet-explorers

P.S. Thank you so much for reading everyone! This fic has been my baby. I think it’s probably been my best so far and I am sad to leave my reader and this fic behind, but I feel it’s run it’s course, and I want to reel you in with something else. I hope you’ve enjoyed as much as I have. Thanks again. :) <3

----

In the months following the BAU’s capture of Bentley Ashton and the killing of famed pimp and drug dealer, Rocco Mitchell, you’d made a host of life changes.

“Baby, we’re gonna be late,” you called into your bedroom.

Nearly a month after catching and killing Rocco, Spencer had asked you to move in with him. “We’ve been through so much,” he’d said. “And I know we still have a way to go, but I want to be by your side while we get there.” Immediately, you’d said yes, feeling more grateful than you ever thought possible for the man at your side.

Spencer stumbled out of your bedroom, shirt half buttoned and still hanging out of his pants. Your alarm had fucked up, leaving you both less than a half hour to get ready to get to work on time. “I’m coming, I’m coming,” he laughed, giving you a kiss before running into the kitchen to gulp down a glass of orange juice. “Damn alarm.”

You giggled under your breath, grabbing his hand as you both ran down the stairs to head to work. After a whole lot of reflecting, daily therapy, and conversations with your boyfriend and teammates, you made a choice you never thought you’d make. As you were working toward your goal of joining the BAU, you never imagined you’d want to do anything – and you didn’t, at least not totally. You wanted more. You wanted to advocate. After all you’d been through, it seemed the best way to help others and heal yourself.

Twenty years after fighting your way up to work with the Bureau day-in and day-out, you downgraded your status to consulting team member, so that you could lend your services whenever you weren’t traveling across the country to speak out – telling your story and advocating for others in your position.

In addition to speaking on behalf of the Department of Justice’s Child Exploitation section, you traveled all over, speaking to downtrodden young women who were still in, or just recently out of the lifestyle that plagued you for that one dark year. Today was a Bureau day, which you were thankful for after your speech for the Rape, Abuse and Incent National Network.

According to your therapist, speaking at conferences and centers would be extremely painful at first, but you seemed to be healing through divulging your story. Eventually, it would become less painful to talk about, but for now, each time you recounted your story, you felt emotionally and physically exhausted afterwards.

On your way into work, you got a call. Now that you were a known advocate, you got calls constantly to come speak on behalf of a given organization. “Hello,” you said, motioning for Spencer to turn towards the coffee shop. You’d be a couple minutes late, but you in desperate need. “This is Y/N Y/L/N. Can I ask who I’m talking to?”

“Hello, Ms. Y/L/N, this is Sarah M. Buel, director emerita of the National Center on Domestic and Sexual Violence.”

“Hello, Ms. Buel. How can I help you?” Spencer stepped out of the car, mouthing your normal order and you nodded your head. Through all of this, Spencer had been nothing short of spectacular. Although your advocacy had you away from home frequently, you did your best to make sure you scheduled speeches for when he was away with the Bureau. Even though it was hard, this new schedule of speaking at conferences and working with the Bureau was exactly what you felt you should be doing. For the first time in your life, you truly felt at peace with who you were and what you were doing.

Ms. Buel started off by telling you a bit about the organization, all of which you already knew. When you first started considering your current path, you looked up a plethora of different organizations, including the National Center on Domestic and Sexual Violence. “If you are able,” she continued, her voice soft and calming, “We would love if you could speak at a conference we have coming up in a couple of weeks.”

While Spencer was grabbing your coffee, and apparently a chocolate-covered rainbow-sprinkle donut for himself, you ironed out the details with Ms. Buel, agreeing to speak at one of their annual conferences in three weeks time. “Thank you, Ms. Buel. I look forward to meeting all of you.”

“Another conference?” Spencer asked, his voice laden with pride as he handed you your coffee.

Softly, you smiled at him, leaning over to kiss him before taking a sip of your coffee. “Yea. This time for the National Center on Domestic and Sexual Violence.”

On the way into work, you sat in silence, pondering how you would start off your speech this time. The words tended to change, but the message was always the same – circumstances don’t define you, how you react to them does. But you were ripped out of your thoughts as soon as you got to work. Spencer parked the car and walked over to your side, pulling it open and extending his hand. When you were on the street, you never imagined having a man show you any respect, no less have one that treated you like a princess – you would be forever grateful.

He pulled you up flush against him and kissed your forehead, saying nothing for a moment. “I know I’ve been saying it a lot lately,” he said, his pink lips forming a smile as he caressed your cheek with his thumb, “But I’m really proud of you.”

As the tears welled up in your eyes, you wondered if there would ever come a time when you wouldn’t cry hearing that. “You have said it lately. This morning in fact. But I’ll never get tired of hearing you say it. I never thought anyone could ever be proud of me again after what I’d gone through, but because of the team and you, mostly you, I do actually believe it - in my bones, and I’ll never be able to thank you enough for it.”

“Don’t thank me,” he said, taking your hand. “I love you.”

You wiped the tears from your eyes and tangled your fingers in his as you went up the elevator. There was no case yet; it was just a regular work day, but after everything, you were thankful for a boring day every now and then.

Nearly nine months earlier, when you’d first gotten into this mess, you never imagined you’d be where you were now. You and JJ had started going to dinner once a week to try and rebuild your friendship, and Will had even started to come along. The only thing he wasn’t comfortable with yet was leaving the boys alone with you, which although hurt, you understood. One day, he would see that loved those kids and this team with all your heart; you could never hurt them.

Morgan had made both you and Penelope Hank’s godmothers. Hotch wished you luck and sent you off with a smile every time you left for a conference. Rossi, who never took a day off for anything, took off along with Spencer to accompany you to your first ever speech, greeting you with open arms afterwards as you sobbed. And Emily and Garcia would be coming to one soon.

Spencer gave you a kiss and headed to his desk, leaving you to get lost in your thoughts for a moment. You had a mountain of paperwork to get started on, but your impending speech brought on a wave of ideas, so instead, you pulled out a pen and started to write.

I was convinced. My life was over. With parents gone, no source of income, no self-esteem, and one friend, I had nothing left. Every night was fraught with fear, wondering if that particular client would kill me, give me an STD that would kill me down the road. Every night was fraught with pain – bones were broken, legs shaking in agony from the assault I endured. Every night was fraught with thoughts of ending it all. And then one night, a friend was murdered in front of eyes, because she offered to take a client for me. That night I attempted to talk my own life, escape it all, see my parents and friend again, but for some reason I woke up. I still don’t understand why I did. But when I did, I took it as a sign that I was meant to do something, so I stood up and I ran as hard as I could, leaving my past behind and becoming someone new.

For 20 years, I worked to become a member of the FBI’s Behavioral Analysis Unit. I begged on street corners, I obtained two jobs, paid my way through school with the help of a few grants for which I applied, and eventually earned my dream job. Then again, my life was turned upside down and when someone came out of the shadows with knowledge of my past. I won’t go into the dirty details of that particular case, but it ended well. The man who blackmailed me is now in prison and my former pimp, Rocco Mitchell, is dead, never to hurt another young woman like myself.

What I mean to say by telling my story is this. If you’ve lost hope, I’ve been you. If you feel like you can no longer go on, I understand. But there is hope, you are not alone, and you don’t have to suffer by yourself.

A common question I get asked is how my past affects my life now. ‘Do you still feel tainted by your past? Does the self-doubt come creeping back? Do you feel deserving of all you’ve achieved? Do you feel that your past dictates everything you are now?’ And after months of daily therapy, conversations with people who I’ve come to love and who love me, and many, many years of asking myself these same questions, I can give you some answers. Do I feel tainted by my past? Sometimes yes. Sometimes I feel that I got where I am because of my past rather than in spite of it, but then I remember my boss would never hire someone out of pity. If he hired me, it was because I earned it. Does the self-doubt come creeping back? Every damn day, and I’m pretty sure it always will. Back then, I’d allow it to overtake me, because I didn’t believe that I had anything or anyone else, but now, I give myself a few moments of pity, and then ask my boyfriend to remind me how far I’ve come. Do I feel deserving of all I’ve achieved? The answer there is yes. I have worked, begged, and scraped for what I have, but I earned it – and I’m proud. And finally, do I feel that my past dictates who I am now? No. I don’t make decisions because of my past. I make them based on who I am now. I may have a past, but my past does not define me, and it doesn’t need to define you either.

The National Center on Domestic and Sexual Abuse is here for you, in any capacity you may need. Remember, you do not have to suffer anymore. I am with you. My name is Kayla Connors. My name is Sierra Cheverie. My name is Y/N Y/L/N. I am my past, present and future. I am not alone and I have not let my past define who I am. You don’t have to either.

Thank you.

As you set your pen down, you looked around at the smiling faces of your colleagues, feeling like you fit in somewhere for the first time in 20 years. Nothing was perfect. But you never expected perfect. All you ever wanted was a group of people to call your own and a path carved just by you and for you.

And now you had it.

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fic #dontshootmespence #coercion

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ravenadottir · 3 years

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What do you think Kassam’s route would have been like if he had been one of the og boys, and how would his character have developed

my guy, i think i had a braingasm the moment i saw this ask! this is such a cool galaxy brain question, i can’t even...

‘cause i think so much about the possibility of kassam as an og, it’s actually ridiculous!! but in order to put him on day 1, i would have to put one of the boys in casa amor, and i’m choosing gary. that’s because lottie is gonna take interest in kassam right away. let me organize these thoughts in order of happenings in the villa...

♪ when mc steps outside, he’s lowkey interested, but he keeps his hands behind his back, only giving her a nod, accompanied by a smirk, when she says hi.

♪ “if any of you fancy me, please step forward.” kassam would be discreetly stepping forward, shooting her a neutral look, since he doesn’t want to come across as desperate, but a wink is also happening.

♪ “why did you step forward, kassam?” “i think we’re gonna hit it off, and you seem like a real sound girl.” bobby would say something like “ha! get it, because he’s a dj!” and laugh, but the prickly boy wouldn’t even look at him, focusing on mc.

♪ if mc chose to couple up with him, he would stand by her side, whispering his conversation, slightly analyzing the other boys.

♪ when lottie struts out, not gonna lie, he’s gonna think she’s attractive, but maybe a little intimidating. i do believe if she stole him (which i very much want to do here, since it’s an o.g kassam route), he’ll be standing next to her, but glancing at mc’s direction.

♪ the truth or dare challenge would probably be the opportunity to send him the picture, but if mc decided to kiss her partner i think that would “scare” kassam a bit. just because i don’t think he’s into p.d.a.

♪ he would have a lot of trouble relating/talking to anyone, because he automatically hates rocco, and for sure has some issues with how much rocco and bobby talk. which leads me to believe he would be closer to noah and ibrahim. (IT’S SO FREAKY TO THINK ABOUT THAT!!).

♪ priya is still gonna steal mc’s partner, which is not a big deal because she’s more interested in kassam than anyone else.

♪ kassam having more time in the villa means he’s also gonna open up to mc, eventually, and i think that’s what i wanted the most in casa amor. something to make us understand why he’s been closed up and extremely on edge at all times, like having the ear tick, the nerves, the quietness, if there’s anything to be talked about, mc would be person he would go to.

♪ music is probably what helps him relax, and right now he’s deprived of that, in every instance, so if the game wanted me to pay gems to bang some pots and do the glasses’ rim trick with him, i would a hundred percent be paying for that!

♪ bobby being musical himself would definitely blossom a connection between them. something that would make him a little fonder of cake boy. “i was wrong to judge you so fast, i guess.” and this could’ve been the “rap gang” throwback to season 1, having kassam doing beats, bobby doing the harmony, probably ibrahim rapping nonsense along with mc, and getting weird lines out of it! i would pay gems every time, i don’t care how much that would cost!

♪ as the recoupling approaches, kassam says he wants to couple up with us, but because bobby and he weren’t so close, the pastry chef has no idea of the dj’s intentions, proceeding to pick us.

♪ bobby’s choice forces kassam to choose between marisol and hannah, and going for the law student would be the obvious pick. but so much more awkward than gary’s was, because kassam wouldn’t try to hide the fact that he’s into someone else.

♪ marisol and kassam would be a friendship couple from the get go, because they have nothing in common, and that would probably make marisol realize her attraction towards rocco earlier.

♪ i do believe kassam would’ve been a cheeky sort, not the type that gary is, but definitely sneaking around to steal a kiss or two. “i don’t know what’s happening to me. i wouldn’t usually do this...” he smiles, almost not noticing it. “... but i feel close to you... it’s weird...”

“wow, kassam, thanks...”

“no, no i don’t mean like that... i’m just not used to it. you’re not the weird part of all this.”

“and what is?”

“me...” he proceeds to laugh uncomfortably.

♪ twitter bingo would have a fact about him, possibly a secret kiss, but it’s not revealed who he had it with.

♪ mr. love island. his “swimsuit” portion would be similar to lucas’, flexing his arms once he gets out of the pool, direct advice from noah, rahim and bobby. his talent would definitely include music in, possibly doing those beatbox tricks with two or three layers of sound... maybe even the low bass voice, which it’s honestly... SO FUCKING HOT. it would be a tough competition. between ibrahim doing the rubik’s cube trick shirtless, and kassam doing this... i don’t think noah or bobby would stand a chance!

♪ roccosol is still happening, and kassam is baffled by how much lottie is lying through her teeth, and shouting about the matter, since she was already talking to him behind rocco’s back. remember the welcome party for lucas and henrik? which would also mean kassam doesn’t take much heat from food/drinks, and that’s funny to me, for some reason!

♪ i do think instead of rahim, kassam would’ve been voted as “least dateable/leaving the show with a girlfriend. not endangered like lucas/henrik/rocco, but definitely voted. mc having the opportunity of the firepit conversation would end up in a kiss, and the angst is just taken on a new level!

♪ the date with him, before the recoupling on day 9, would be the chance we have to get to know him better, maybe having him tell us an embarrassing story about a gig he had. and if it was an ex’s story, even better! we don’t have that from him.

♪ hideaway scene, after the girls’ choice, would have him slightly less confident than he usually is. “i’m really excited to be here with you, i just don’t know exactly what to do.”

“i mean, if you don’t know, i don’t think i can get a biology book here.”

he would probably chuck a pillow in your direction and laugh at your joke. “i’m just nervous, i guess... i’m not used to feeling nervous around girls.”

♪ now! here’s the tricky part of the whole villa plotline in his route. operation nope. if mc went with it, he would end things, loudly and clearly, because he cannot stand betrayal, much less coming from the girl he spent so many days chasing. and he would probably advise MC to tell hope about it before it happened. kassam should be the type that breaks up with you and don’t want you back, later. i would definitely program him to act like that!

♪ drama to him is pointless, especially if it involves other people. he doesn’t see why people are being so out there about things, and definitely doesn’t understand why his girl has to be the one to solve everything. “i understand they’re upset but it’s not your job to fix it.”

♪ chelsea coming in, along with jakub, would irritate him to the extreme. the bomb she drops about him and lottie would have everyone riled up. YES, I WANT KASSAM TO KISS LOTTIE. they were coupled up before and he thinks she’s hot, besides the fact he was insecure about mc being picked by bobby. similar plot line to gary’s, except he might say something like “i had to know if there was anything there.” i really want him to explain himself here, but with short words: “we were coupled up just an hour before the recoupling. i wanted to make sure there was nothing there.”

“and...?” mc asks, staring at him.

he glances at lottie, shrugging. “there isn’t.”

♪ as revenge, mc would go on the date with jakub, resulting in kassam being apprehensive when it comes to talk about his feelings to her. and very angry and jealous, because that’s just who he is!

♪ the news about the recoupling arrive the night priya and hope are having that big fight, and yes, the bathroom scene happens with kassam, but he’s one of the boys that say the line “i want this to mean something to you”.

♪ disaster recoupling gets you both angry, and kassam would, for the first time, raise his voice, questioning jakub and the boy who steals mc. no, he wouldn’t be like the others and only question jakub or no one. at that point, everything is working against him, and just two days after mc finds out about the secret kiss, this is throwing him into a spiral of stress.

♪ casa amor gets everyone pissed off, and everything stays the same, except you get gary instead of kassam, and he’s interested in lottie and mc. (maybe the unicorn route wouldn’t happen). but casa days would’ve been way more interesting because now marisol and lottie are interested in the same guy! and in some cases, mc as well lol NOW, THAT WOULD’VE MADE CASA INTERESTING!

♪ cheeky the way gary is, he’s probably trying to stick with one girl by suggesting a kiss, sharing the bed and etc, but if mc is not interested in him, lottie would probably be torn about bringing him back or not, and marisol would get confused between gary and graham, proceeding to focus on fish boy, later.

♪ coming back from casa amor, kassam is single, and you get bean bags conversation, only with him he says how anxious he was for mc to come back. “i’m just... really glad you’re here. i...” he stammers a bit. “i missed you.”

“did you miss lottie too?” mc would raise her brows, slightly irritated.

“no, of course not! i missed...” realizing she’s being prickly, just like him, he continues. “har, har... very funny.”

“i didn’t think it was funny finding out you kissed her.”

“i wouldn’t think that either... i’m sorry i didn’t tell you.”

♪ the route is pretty much the same from there, except for a couple of moments:

one: the conversation we have with gary, by the pool, is held by kassam, and he talks about anxiety, and how that affected his relationships in the past. he didn’t know how much he missed out because he was too afraid of taking the leap, and he’s glad he’s in a better place now. also, talking about therapy and mental illness in the same tone gary did, with body issues.

two: he would make a comment of how excited he is to write songs about mc, and how much he has been thinking of his journey and the album he’s gonna dedicate to his time there.

♪ asking mc to be his girlfriend would go a little differently, since he’s not the blob of characterization he normally becomes in the game.

♪ he would continue to be prickly, and sarcastic, but his journey would’ve taught him how to trust people more, and the improbable friendships he developed there would go to show just how much he’s opening up, and how it can only get better from there.

♪ his speech, at the prom, would include his friends, mentioning them as the support system he had in there, just like one of the girls do with mc. “my journey wouldn’t have been the same if it wasn’t for you lads. and despite the bad advice i got, i guess everything worked out in the end.”

i really think kassam deserved a spot in the og’s line up, mostly because of how different he is from the other boys. he would probably have a brief friendship with lucas if the physiotherapist stayed, too.

hope this is what you were looking for. thank you so much for this ask!

#litg kassam #litg #love island the game #love island the game season 2 #litg s2 #litg season 2 #fusebox #fusebox games #queue #alternative routes

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ravenadottir · 3 years

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Yeah I really hate what they did with Lucas. (ESPECIALLY with that mustache, because what the fuck?!). Based on canon, he seems like he’d have dry humor. Sure he gets a lil prickly with the hair touching and chewing food (which was weird to see lmao), but he has good banter with ppl and can be playful when he wants to be. Now it just seems like he hates everyone 😭. Plus Henrik should’ve been there 🙄. Watching them together would be AMAZING.

And we need more screen time with LIs that AREN’T Bobby and Gary! (And I’m saying this as a Bobby stan! I love that boy to death, but I also love Lucas! And Noah! And I’m starting to love Rahim!) and if Priya is gonna be an option, Chelsea and (dare I say) Hope should be too! Hope irritated me last season but not so much that I didn’t want to see her there! I’d have love to see her dynamics with everyone, especially with Noah since it’s obvious that they were gonna break up eventually.

And why are ppl so mean to Rocco?! I made my MC nice to him bc even though he did a lot of weird shit in the villa, SO DID EVERYONE ELSE! He’s not the only one that fucked up! So why is he the one to be ostracized by all the characters?

I have a lot of issues with CMM as you can tell

i still can't get over the lack of taste when choosing that mustache for my boy lucas! HE WOULD NEVER. if he ever decided on any facial hair, it would be a full beard, that i'm not even sure if he would be able to grow, but i digress.

the edits with the boys' facial hair on reddit is far superior to this mexican telenovela rich uncle they gave us. we deserved B-E-T-T-E-R as well. and you're so right about his humor and dynamics! if we got to see him and gary bantering a little bit would be so cool,. since they had a slight competitive spirit when our boy came in. MISSED OPPORTUNITY!

and yes! henrik not being there is just a waste of character. he might not be popular but his friendship with lucas is! the whole point of spin-offs is to give different scenarios and how their dynamics would change, but again, missed opportunity.

if he was here he would probably be the one who backs mc up, even if they weren't married/boning. he's so innocent and would go against the others by pointing out a different person as the murderer.

i do miss hope here, and it's not even about noah, even though i think it would be brilliant to have her for this purpose as well. but her personality was always so 'under the spotlight' that she would be the one to put everyone in their place during the 'dirty laundry' segment. she's always the first one to say "hey guys, let's not fight. it's just a game." so her appeasing was missed here. she does it every time in the villa and out here it wouldn't be different.

about rocco. like i said before, i don't like him, but it has nothing to do with roccogate. because every single islander has a reason to be ashamed, all the li's included, and the fact that some of them were so ready to kick him in the teeth was uncalled for. all of them did something in the villa and don't have the moral ground to judge or have such misplaced anger.

we do not stan. it's in the past and it's over.

BUT IF HE OFFERS ME THAT GREEN SHIT HE'S GONNA BE ON THIN ICE. jk jk, after episodes 7 and 8 i actually don't mind having him there. he seemed genuine about his feelings. as long as he doesn't hurt chelsea i'm cool.

which reminds me of chelsea not being an li. i think the only reason for that is the fact that she's not popular in the li concept. let me explain. priya has SO MUCH MATERIAL FOR HER, as a potential li that includes sex and relationships, while chelsea doesn't.

if making her a romantic interest on cmm was the source of any cash grab i reckon they wouldn't blink twice before making it happen, but perhaps they assessed the possibility and the programming was more complex and not worth it.

because let's face it, they teased priya but reinforced her sexuality all the time. her horniness for mc is not even fan service, just straight up money source. if chels had been that popular she would've been too.

#litg #litg cmm #litg murder mystery spoilers #litg murder mystery #spoilers #litg lucas #litg henrik #litg hope #litg rocco #litg chelsea #litg priya #queue

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crossbows-and-moonshine · 5 years

Text

Such a Softer Sin (Chapter thirteen)

(Chapter one) (Chapter two) (Chapter three) (Chapter four)

(Chapter five) (Chapter six) (Chapter seven) (Chapter eight)

(Chapter nine) (Chapter ten) (Chapter eleven) (Chapter twelve)

Yes, two chapters again lololol.

Serious talks, forgiveness, and some good old fashioned ribbing each other.

-------------------------------------

When Lila stopped staring at the broken table longingly, the table that once was the place for their family like meals together, she turned to see Connor sitting up in bed, rubbing his eyes tiredly with Murphy sat next to him. The twins didn't need to talk to each other, they could communicate from thoughts, feelings and looks alone. And Connor knew the lass had forgiven his brother before she even sat down on the mattress with them. He was glad she had. He knew she had every right not to, Murphy's behavior had been so appalling his brother was ready to tear his limbs off. But he knew underneath it all, Murphy was just hurt and confused, he was scared and he had handled it terribly. But Lila had found it in her big beautiful heart to forgive him, and Connor admired her for that.

She sat down in front of them, tossing the new key in Connors lap and playing with her fingers before glancing at them both.

“I want to clear the air. If we’re all gonna move on from this and be friends again then we need to talk, or shits gonna get awkward.” She sighed, shooting them a rueful smile. They just nodded quietly, letting her continue with what she wanted to say. Connor reached out and gripped the back of Murphy’s neck, a gesture Lila noticed he did a lot when Murphy was upset, as if it comforted and grounded him.

“I don't need to tell you both that what you did wasn't okay, you've made it pretty clear you see that now. I need some time to trust you again like I did, but I’ll get there. You two really hurt me but...I care about you too much to just walk away. I need you both in my life, and I get that you didn't do it to hurt me. I just need to make it clear that if I find out you’ve pulled this kind of shit again, I won't be sticking around. This is the only warning you'll get, and honestly, you're lucky you're even getting it. I was ready last night to just leave.” She said softly as she leveled her gaze on the two of them. They both looked guilty and sad as they nodded in agreement. They were beyond grateful for the second chance, and to hear her say she cared too much to walk away, it made their hearts ache.

“Won't ever happen again lass, I can promise ye that. We were selfish and it was wrong.” Connor sighed, he still looked sleepy and Lila had to fight a smile at how adorable he looked.

“As long as we're clear, I'd like us to be friends again. I miss how it was, the three of us. We can't pretend what happened, didn't happen, but I'd like to just try and move on from it. We don't need to drag it up and go over it over and over again. It's done, it can't be changed. You upset me and you know it, you've said sorry. There's no point dwelling on the past, life's too short.” She said quietly. The boys agreed wholeheartedly, they were more than pleased for the opportunity to make things right, even more so for Murphy after what he had done. They all wanted to go back to how it was and they were more than happy never to bring it up again like she suggested. She was right, it was done, no use crying over spilled milk and all that. They needed to earn back her trust, and they fucking would. They realized the error of their ways and they were not in the habit of making the same mistake twice.

They sat there for a minute, the boys looking at Lila carefully as she watched them. As if they were making sure they were all on the same page and okay to move on. Connor and Murphy didn't need to look at each other, they could feel each other out, especially with Connors hand on Murphy's neck, taking a mental evaluation of the other. They all knew it was going to be a little weird at first, but they needed to push through it until things were normal again. Since Lila and Murphy had extra stress after Murphy's outburst, Connor took it upon himself once again, to be the one to take initiative.

“Well then...shall we go for some breakfast?” He asked with a smile as he held up the key, trying to break any tension left over. Lila felt her stomach growl at the mere mention of food and she nodded with a smile, before looking over to the couch where a sleeping Rocco lay.

“Shouldn't we wait for Rocco?” She asked quizzically. Murphy snorted and shook his head.

“Nay love, he’ll sleep like the dead ‘til the afternoon.” He said, giving her a somewhat shy smile, still feeling tentative about even talking to her. She felt her chest constrict hearing him call her love again but she didn't bring it up. It made her happy and she knew if she said anything or made it obvious she was shocked, he would act like a spooked animal. She wasn't sure he even knew he had done it since it was such a habit.

She remembered her harsh words the night before, telling him she wasn't his girl. It sent a jolt of guilt through her body. Of course, technically she wasn't his girl, or Connors. But she had enjoyed that endearing term. It only made her mad in the moment because the of what had happened, telling people she belonged to them, like some kind of fucking dog, it rubbed her up the wrong way. She thought about mentioning it to him at some point, telling him he could call her that and apologising. Now the anger had faded, she remembered the heartbreaking look on his face once those words left her lips, visibly recoiling like she had smacked him. She knew what had happened wouldn't just vanish, it would loom over them like a dark cloud ready to spill over and rain down on them. But she wanted to fucking try and go back to normal. She knew they were sorry and it wouldn't happen again, and she hoped that was enough, like an umbrella to shield her from the downpour.

They all got up and got dressed, once again matching with their jeans and black tops. The boys wore their long sleeve tees and Lila put on a black sweater. It wasn't just for warmth, she wanted to cover to bruises Murphy had left on her because she couldn't deal with the questions, not just yet. She also hated how Murphy's eyes wandered to them and how she could see the pain behind his eyes, knowing what he had done to her. She wasn't sure if Connor had picked up on them yet, if he had he hadn't said anything and she was grateful. Murphy didn't need to feel any more guilty than he already did and she wasn't sure how Connor would react to seeing the marks, she didn't want a repeat of the night before. She put her messy hair up in a ponytail, as usual a few strands framing her face, and she slipped her boots on.

The walk to the diner was strange, Lila once again could feel the dark cloud above them. Normally the boys were all smiles and full of laughter, they'd touch her hands and arms or briefly wrap an arm around her shoulder or waist. But this time, even though she was in the middle of them, they kept a slight distance. Usually they were so close it was right in her personal space and she didn't mind it. The boys were reluctant to touch her, despite their hands itching to reach out to her. They thought it might have been too soon for that, even with Lilas words of asking for things to be how they were. They were not sure if she would be ready for that just yet.

“Tá sé seo chomh fucking Connor crua (This is so fucking hard Connor).” Murphy muttered over her head to his brother, his face looking like a sad puppy.

“Cád é? (What is?)” Lila asked, glancing up at the darker haired twin amused that he had obviously not meant for her to know what he had said. Murphy's eyes widened in shock and Connor barked out a laugh next to her at his brother's luck.

Not every Irish person could speak Irish, in fact, it was rare these days. The language was dying off with only a few regions still speaking it. Their Ma had insisted they learn it along with the other various languages they had learnt and they really hadn't expected Lila to be able to speak it. Murphy lowered his head as his cheeks flushed, it only made her more amused, she always got a kick out of teasing the boys and embarrassing them.

“Didn't know ye could speak Irish lass. What other languages can ye speak?” Connor asked with a smile from her left. He was genuinely curious but Murphy knew he was also asking so they don't slip up again, that would be embarrassing. Murphy felt a surge of panic when he remembered the night they were all drunk and he had told her he loved her in French before passing out and Connor told her in Italian. He had presumed she either forgot or hadn’t understood since she never mentioned it to them or acted weird about it. She glanced at Connor with a grin.

“Just Irish, my da taught me when I was younger, before he died. He was really proud of our heritage and wanted to make sure I learnt it.” She said with a wistful smile as she remembered her father fondly. Connor nodded and gave her a warm smile, and Murphy felt himself relax. Well at least that saved him some embarrassment.

“What about you two? You both spoke to me in different languages that night we all got wasted, after my grandads funeral.” She asked curiously, the topic of what Murphy told Connor thankfully forgotten, because he didn't want to drag everything back up, she had asked them specifically not to. Lila looked at Murphy like she was waiting for him to answer the question and he felt grateful he was being included, he still felt like he had no right to be there after what he did. Lila had always done this, asking questions back and forth between the pair like she didn't want either of them to feel left out of the conversation, the boys were never sure if she did it unintentionally or on purpose but they were grateful all the same. She didn't play favourites and it helped them with their new feelings for her and the issue of jealousy that had briefly happened in the earlier days of knowing her.

“Quite a few, French, Italian, Spanish, German, Russian, Latin and o’ course Irish. Our Ma insisted on it m’girl.” He smiled proudly, he had always loved how their Ma had pushed them with their education. The twins might seem like just rowdy Irish boys that liked a drink and worked at a meat packing plant, but they were very intelligent. It didn't hurt any that the lasses seemed to love it when he spoke to them in French in bed, it scored him some extra points. His eyes widened a little when he had slipped up and called her his girl and he was waiting for the girl to yell at him or say some other words that hurt his heart, but they never came.

“Holy shit, how do you even remember all of them, that's insane.” She scoffed a laugh. Murphy was confused, had she not heard him? Or was it okay now? He felt like he didn't know whether he was coming or going but he didn't mention it. If she hadn't heard him it would make things incredibly fucking awkward if he brought it up.

“We learnt in school when we were younger, it was easier back then. Besides, the teachers in Ireland can be scary bastards, gives ye fuckin’ incentive te learn better.” Connor laughed, shaking his head a little as he looked over at Murphy, remembering their school days fondly. Murphy gave him a smile letting him know he was thinking the same.

“So do you talk to each other all the time in different languages when you want to be all sneaky?” She asked with a quirked brow and a smirk, glancing back and forth. Murphy's ears turned pink again and he looked at the floor with a shy smile as Connor chuckled.

“I suppose we do lass.” He replied vaguely as he lit up a smoke and handed it to his brother before lighting one for himself.

“Why though? Why don't you use your twin telepathy thing that you do?” She asked curiously. The boys stopped dead in their tracks in sync with each other. Connors smoke almost fell from his lips as his jaw practically dropped and Murphy tilted his head as he quirked a brow, looking somewhat amused.

“How the fuck did ye know about that?” Murphy asked incredulously. They'd never really spoke about any of their twin things, they kept it to themselves. It was between them after all. Rocco knew some of it just from being their best friend and being around them so much.

She turned to look at them and snorted at their shocked faces.

“Because I've seen it. You know things from just a look at each other, no words needed. You're always touching each other and it's like...you can just...feel each other out ...and not to mention the cuddling.” Her eyes danced with mischief at her last words and Murphy spluttered on the smoke he had inhaled. The boys hadn't realised how obvious it was to her how their twin bond worked, no one else ever figured it out. She always seemed to know them perfectly well and it was slightly unsettling.

“We do not fuckin’ cuddle!” Connor objected, so fucking offended that it made Lila burst out laughing. Apparently, Murphy's voice wasn't the only one that raised an octave or two.

“Yes you do! I’ve seen you. Hell, just this morning you were spooning Murphy. I woke him up remember, saw it with my own eyes.” She smirked amused, crossing her arms over her chest and giving him a look that said tell me I’m wrong. Connors' mouth moved but no words came out as he looked from Murphy to Lila. Murphy raised his brows at him looking amused as well. He didn't care if people knew they cuddled and he already knew Lila had seen them. It didn't bother him none, they were twins. They'd shared a fucking womb for nine months, closeness was second nature to them.

“S’wrong Conn? Afraid yer fragile masculinity can't handle it?” He asked teasingly with his ridiculously smug smirk. Lila snorted and bit her lip to stop her laughter as Connor glared at her playfully.

“Don't worry Connor, I think its...cute.” She grinned, looking all innocent. Murphy barked out a laugh as Connor pulled a face at her, like the vein in his head was going to explode.

“Ah fuck off, the both o’ ye!” He grumbled as he started walking again. Lila locked eyes with Murphy as they both burst out laughing again.

“Aye, come on love, before he sulks.” Murphy grinned as he started walking with her. They caught up to Connor and Lila reached out, poking his side. He yelped a little causing Murphy to laugh loudly when people looked on at them. Connor narrowed his eyes at her for making him make such a womanly noise in public and she just flashed him a grin. He shook his head and smiled at her. It was like most of the tension had already left, teasing each other like normal. Lila wanted things to return back to normal and now she had hope. Things were feeling less weird and she still enjoyed spending time with them. They made a mistake, and now it was time to move on.

Taglist; @risingphoenix761 @daryldixonandfrogs @arlaina28

#boondock saints #boondock saints fanfic #murphy macmanus #murphy macmanus fanfic #connor macmanus #connor macmanus fanfic

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dontshootmespence · 7 years

Text

Coercion - 10

@coveofmemories @reiding-and-writing @myxomatosis-s (I feel like I may have been tagging you wrong, SO sorry sweetie) @skeletoresinthebasement @passionate-hedgehog @camigt1999 @eideticenticement @ultrarebelheart @remember-me-forever-silent-angel

You are just about to start your new job at the BAU after years of working to get there, when a man you don’t know approaches you with an evil plan and knowledge of every sordid detail of your past. What will you do? Will you give into the man’s demands? Or will you be able to find another way out?

-----

By the time you got back, you were livid. The rage was coursing through you to the point where you stood at the steps of the jet before they’d even been lowered. As you rushed off the plane, Hotch called after you to return your gun, which as part of your continued involvement in the case, was ordered to be returned every night before you went home.

You’d barely heard him through the haze of frustration, but you spun around, handed him your gun without a word, and sped to your car, more than ready to go home. The thought of spending another moment with your team, who you’d disappointed for the second time in a week, made you want to explode. “Tomorrow, 9 AM,” you heard him call.

When you returned home, it was barely 7PM, but you were beyond done. Sleep was necessary. As your head hit the pillow, you prayed for relief from the continuous torturous thoughts that were plaguing your mind. Little did you know those thoughts would continue for weeks. Ashton had dropped off the map.

****

Ashton was here. There was no place else he could be. Every possible method of ingress and egress was covered. They were going to get him and this was all going to be over. You’d never been more confident than in this moment.

Until you heard something hit the wall somewhere behind you. You gently tiptoed your way through the apartment, gun at the ready. The code of law enforcement was that if he could be taken into custody that was what you were supposed to do, but that wasn’t happening. If you found him before someone else did, Ashton was dead. You wouldn’t give him the chance to buy his way out of prison a second time.

“No!” you breathed. The noise you’d heard was Emily. In front of you was Emily’s lifeless body, her head caved in just under the blood splatter on the wall. When you went to put your fingers to her throat, you sobbed, covered your mouth with your free hand. She was gone.

Where was this fucker?

Spinning around on your heels, you picked up your pace and rounded the corner, heading to the noise your heard at the opposite end of the expansive apartment. “Aaron,” you heard, the noise gurgling from someone whose voice was distorted by blood. “No, Aaron, stay with me.” As you walked into the room, you saw Hotch’s hand slip from Rossi’s grasp. They’d both been stabbed. “It was one of the bodyguards,” he said, the dark crimson liquid spilling forth from his mouth and flowing onto the floor. “Go get him, Y/N.”

“I’m not leaving you,” you cried. Let them come to you.

There wasn’t any time, and Rossi new it. “The longer you stay here, the more likely he’ll get away. Go!” He choked out the last word and as you left the room, your eyes drowning in tears, you could feel his last breaths.

Stealth was no longer an option. Without any regard for who might hear you, you ran to where you’d heard another noise, only to find JJ sitting up against the wall with a knife in her stomach. “He went that way. Go!” She looked like she’d lost a lot of blood, but Rossi was right; you couldn’t wait.

Bang!

No, no, no, no, no…”Morgan!” you screamed. He was gone. “Spencer!” You yelled your throat raw, pleading for Spencer to answer your cries, but he wasn’t saying anything. In a desperate, last-ditch attempt to save the man you loved, you screamed and cried as you ran through the apartment, knocking over anything and everything to gain Ashton’s attention. Everyone else was dead or close to death. If he wanted you, let him take you, just leave Spencer alone.

When you rounded the next corner, he was there. Alive. “Spencer,” you breathed.

Bang!

A rattling, screaming cry emanated from your throat as Spencer fell to the floor, a bullet shining right between his eyes. “You could’ve saved his life if you had just done what you were told,” Ashton said, stepping out of the shadows. “It’s your fault.”

Bang!

Shooting up in bed, you were alarmed at the sound of screaming, only to realize seconds later that it was your own. After you grabbed at your arms and patted your legs, ensuring you were in fact alive and awake, you grabbed your phone and shot Spencer a text. He wasn’t speaking to you. He’d barely said ten words since he’d learned of what you’d done to JJ, but you needed him to answer. You needed to know he was alive. Even if he hated you. Pieces of this nightmare had been plaguing your dreams for the past two weeks. Two weeks since you’d been this close to Ashton and had him slip from your grasp. But this time was the first time it had felt so real. You needed Spencer to text you.

What do you want, Y/N?

It took a minute to adjust to his tone of text. It was so foreign to you, but at least he was alive.

I had a nightmare. I needed to make sure you were alive. I know you hate me. But thank you for messaging me.

The shaking you’d woken up with didn’t subside as you got dressed and drove to work. It was still early. It was 6 AM. But you couldn’t sleep. Ashton was still out there. You’d work for three hours. Comb through everything you could to see what clues you could find. Maybe Garcia would be in and you could scour every camera across the globe and spot the fucker in the crowd.

When you got into the office, the only one who was there was Hotch, giving further credence to your theory that he was in fact superhuman and didn’t need sleep to function. After grabbing a cup of coffee, which was probably the worst idea for you considering you were still jittery, you sat down at your desk with whatever files you could gather.

After nearly two and a half hours, you’d found nothing that would indicate Ashton’s whereabouts. You downed the last sip of your now ice-cold coffee and looked at the case reports from two weeks earlier, when you’d lost him in Scotland. Those words. ‘How does it feel? Knowing you were so close?’ They stared back at you- mocking you, torturing you – with a range of thoughts, none of them kind. “Fuck!” you screamed, throwing the files off your desk and collapsing into your desk in a fit of tears.

This was All. Your. Fault.

“Y/N?” Hotch said sternly, nodding his head in the slight but noticeable way that said he wanted you to come to his office. Lovely. Now he’s going to reprimand me for throwing papers everywhere.

You tugged your shirt down and walked toward Hotch’s office without any regard for picking up the papers. No one was in yet anyway. It didn’t fucking matter. You weren’t sure what mattered anymore.

“Look, sir,” you started, “I’m sorry for the outburst. It’s just-“

“Sit,” he said firmly. Despite wanting to protest, you sat down in front of him, reading for the tongue-lashing. “How are you?

Excuse me. “Sir?

“I can see you’re not getting enough sleep. Ever since we got back from Scotland, you’re shaky and on-edge, even more so than before. You’re downing cups of coffee faster than the pot can make it; that is when you’re not to in your own head so much that you forget that five hours have passed. It’s not healthy.” He finished speaking and you looked at him confused. He was talking to you like a dad that was worried you were overworking yourself, not a federal agent that nearly killed one of his teammates and closest friends.

“Sir, Ashton is still out there. I can’t focus knowing he’s out there. Living a life that none of us could ever hope to live, knowing what he’s done,” you said. How could he even ask you that kind of question? What else should you be doing? “I’m not sleeping until he’s caught. I’ve fucked up enough in my life. I’m not gonna do it again and allow that bastard to take the one thing I’ve worked so hard for, at least not without a fight. I can’t…I just…” The sobs started to wrack through your body again. You’d lost count of how many times you’d broken down when you promised yourself you wouldn’t. The shaking from this morning intensified as you hanged your head in your hands. “Hotch…Sir, I’m so sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen. I didn’t want to hurt JJ. I didn’t want to hurt anyone. I-“

“You chose Reid,” he said simply. “I understand.

Your head rose from its position to meet his gaze. “You understand? You don’t think I acted hastily?”

He shook his head. “My assumption was that you weighed all your options. From what you knew, he had all the resources to do whatever he wanted, including killing Reid. From there, you chose him. If I were in your position, your exact position, I would’ve chosen Jack, and no one could’ve convinced me otherwise,” he said, the surety in his voice steadying you slightly. “I wish you could’ve trusted us enough to know that we wouldn’t have judged you, but other than that, I can’t completely fault you for what happened. I can tell that you wouldn’t have done it if you assumed there was any other way out.”

“I appreciate that, Sir,” you said. “But it’s not about trust. When you come from where I did, you’re ashamed. I was violated and told I was worthless, that I was nothing but a vessel to be used for someone else’s pleasure for more than a year. Rocco Mitchell beat out my self-esteem to the point where I thought I was nothing. Despite getting to where I am now, you don’t just lose that belief. Every day I struggle with whether or not I’m worth a damn thing to anyone. The only reasons I keep going at all anymore are my mother, my father, and Leslie.”

“She was the one that was killed in front of you?” he asked his voice shaking at the thought of two teenage girls cowering before a man with too much power.

You caught sight of Spencer and Morgan walking in for the morning and Hotch got up to close the blinds for you. “Despite everything she’d been through, she was always so positive. Garcia reminds me of her in a lot of ways. I had had my arm basically broken the night before. I made myself a makeshift sling, but I was in such pain that when Rocco called us for the night’s work, I begged for a break. He said no. Leslie said she’d take my client and when she mouthed off to him, he shot her, shoved me toward my client and that was that. When he dumped me on the side of the road, I swallowed some pills I’d found hoping I would die, but I didn’t. The next morning I got up, ran two towns over to someone who I knew could give me a new identity and I ran until I couldn’t anymore.” You hadn’t realized you’d been rambling until Hotch got up from his seat and sat on the edge of the desk. “I got a waitressing job under my new name and saved everything I possibly could. I lived in random shelters on a rotating basis. I had nothing. But I used whatever time I wasn’t working to apply for grants so I could go to school. I finished high school and then I received a full ride to college. Since then, it’s been my dream to work here. I thought I’d finally become something, but I guess…” You couldn’t even finish the sentence. Again, you broke into sobs, but this time, they were muffled by Hotch’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” he said, placing his hand on the back of your head. “We’ll catch this man. Then once we do, I can plead your case to the director to let you stay.” You were stunned. He’d already taken a hell of a lot of flack for insisting you stay until Ashton was caught, but as he’d told Morgan, you were an asset.

You looked into his unwavering gaze. “I’m an asset, Sir. Once there’s no need for me, the director will want me gone. He already wants me gone.” When you mentioned the moniker you’d heard weeks ago, he wavered slightly.

“That was a word I used to calm Morgan,” he said. “I’m sorry you heard that. But it’s not how I feel. Once this is all over, we can work toward trusting each other again. Okay?”

“Yes, sir.” A small, hopeful smile painted its way across your face. “I’ll meet you in the round table room in a few.”

“Y/N?” he asked again, just as you went to leave his office. “Remember what I said when we met?” You did. “Call me Hotch.”

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fic #dontshootmespence #coercion

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