#I’m losing it at the top too

[mjalti]

SOMEONE TELL ME NOT TO GET THESE

#PLS IM BROKE but that tote would be hilarious for school #I’m losing it at the top too #ok but if I HAD to spend 35$… it would be the tote right??? #ana says #Lana del Rey #Donald Del Rey #trump mug shot

[perigilpin]

That's me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, losing my religion

#bo katan kryze #the armorer #the mandalorian #nitearmor #bo katan x the armorer #IF SHES YOUR GIRL WHY IS SHE MY THEMATIC PARALLEL #star wars #sw #i rewatched the ep of tbobf that the top cap is from #I forgot quite how bad the armorer was going through it too #at pretty much the same time? same span of time? #girl how long were you kneeling on the edge of that pier staring into space??? #I could go on forever at the parallel depressive episodes losing thier respective faith for a hot minute and being dramatic as fuck #but instead I’ll shut up #also listen to BELLSAINT’s cover of losing my religion if you’re looking for a good cover done by a woman #truly a cornerstone of my gay little covers playlist #someone take my devices away from me I’m frothing at the mouth

[voiddemon]

I’m mentally ill im laying in bed and thinking about making a kine rig

#I could. it would be easy. #and that’s what upsets me #it wouldn’t take much effort. #if I made the body a super high quality circle texture I can just #stretch it based on the direction he’s looking #I would probably have to make an extra set of mouth textures but that isnt so bad #not much effort into the expressions if any #his eyes would be a bit fussy too but still probably doable #could maybe give his fins hair physics? #top and bottom one I mean #those will also need an extra texture I think? but not a huge deal #I’m talking about all the complications but the time loss of not having to do much of the other complicated stuff would be a huge time save #music make me lose control #rambles

[debreuil]

morgan(a) le fay? that’s a milady insp. right there (i hope dumas is rolling in his grave as i type this)

#yes bbc especially but i’m an irish lesbian so katie is my patron saint #BUT. forreal especially from anything that uses malory as a basis #i was thinking a lot earlier abt how - beyond the perspective we’re given in the novel #milady’s actual villainous behaviours didn’t start until AFTER athos tries to kill her #like up until then she really. she’s taken advantage of by a man who has higher standing than she #she steals and she runs sure but … lbr that’s not villain material #she doesn’t do anything that a self respecting person with survival instincts wouldn’t do #until after the hanging attempt #WHICH u know understandable i too would lose my shit at that cherry on top #i love arthurian legend n i know morgan’s character has been twisted and shaped so wildly different in every #interpretation and re-telling but the most common contemporary characterisation (ccc) of morgan #is biiiig. milady energy all i will say

[belovedguk]

the heat we’re experiencing rn in the philippines is so extreme that it not only affects our electricity but also our physical health and livelihood. it’s fucking crazy. it’s really so hard to focus on anything else.

#this is seriously making me upset #this heat is preventable if we had just taken precautionary measures to battle climate change #now we are at the forefront of its consequences and none of them are GOOD #public schools are CLOSING bc of the extreme heat #farmers are losing their crops ON TOP OF LOSING THEIR LANDS FROM RICH PEOPLE #so many are being rushed to emergency rooms bc of heat related issues #animals are suffering too ESP stray ones who are left to fend for themselves on the streets #everyday it’s like we’re living a new chapter in a dystopian society #i blame every corporation in the world all the world leaders who didn’t do shit when they could have done something #third world countries are suffering bc of corporate greed. #i’m so extremely pissed. #to all filos out here pls stay hydrated help out those who don’t have access to clean water #let’s fucking revolt #THIS HAS GOT TO STOP BEFORE WE ULTIMATELY LOSE PLANET EARTH.

[woundlingus]

Everyone say a prayer for me tonight as I retire my belly button piercing I’m tapping out it’s just not getting better at this point I need to take it out and try again in a few months

#I think I just lost way too much weight too rapidly and the position shifted and there was too much bar space and it’s just….. #I’m like an angel losing it’s wings rn #I’ll never wear another crop top I’ll feel naked without it

[binders-and-beanies]

.

#cops tw #bro I cannot handle one more thing happening istg #got pulled over on my way home after a 13 hour day #was already scared to drive at night and that just confirmed that I’m right to be scared #it was for running a red light n it was one of those situations of just not having time to stop on yellow #I was fully aware as it was happening that I was either going to slam on my brakes in the intersection or run a red and I could see the cop #so I knew I was getting pulled over either way I just hoped the yellow would be longer than .5 seconds. not so lucky #except I also Am so lucky bc he let me off with a warning #ig bc I don’t have any sort of serious history + with it being 420 once he saw I was sober he prob went easier #it’s the second time I’ve been pulled over in my life tho and it’s scary bc this is the first time since the accident #which maybe that was also ok bc it wasn’t my fault #I just know every warning or unlucky moment costs u more in the future if u happen to get unlucky again #like I know I got out of that bc I’m white. it was still a scary moment bc there were multiple cop cars #so it’s like is this guy abt to ruin my life am I gonna lose my license for being at the wrong place wrong time #when I’m already salty to be driving this late involuntarily #so it’s like I got unlucky And very very lucky #I just hate the confirmation that u can get pulled over at any given moment #I constantly rehearse every possible convo w cops in my head bc if u come off disabled u can die #or get arrested or whatever #and then they like don’t follow the script and u didn’t expect this to happen to u today anyway and I get flustered #anyway my point is. I’m fucking exhausted and too many things keep happening #it’s long day after long day w no end in sight rn and I’m like half asleep every day #I just want to sleep. without feeling like I’m already tired tomorrow #it’s too much. just all of it #and on top of it all. it’s 420 so the whole dorm building is basically a cloud of weed #happy u guys are having fun but u are physically harming me in my home #mine #txt #vent post #personal

[iliveinprocrasti-nationn]

one thing abt being disabled/chronically ill that some people don’t get is that sometimes body maintenance that ensures you have the absolute minimum amount of function can also be something that takes away a lot of control and autonomy. you can argue till the cows come home that making those decisions to try and help yourself (or realistically to try to make sure things aren’t worse than they already are) is something that exhibits control and autonomy and stuff, but they can be so limiting in practice because they’re things that take up so much time but have to be done to do anything else

#i have to sleep a lot. i’m at the point where functioning requires 8 hours of sleep if not more #I should probably be getting 10+ but i’m a student and i work so 8 is the minimum. but then also getting ready for bed is a whole process s #the whole thing can take 10-12 hours depending how much im sleeping. just to make sure i can do anything #that is time in my day i cannot use for anything else. it’s not ‘oh but i can push through it’ because i can’t without spending the next da #lightheaded and nauseous and vaguely dizzy and with such intense brain fog I can’t think with my fatigue so bad i genuinely don’t know how #get myself to work a lot of days. my abled peers don’t have to deal with this at all. they have unlimited study time if they want to #and yeah it is a choice i’m making that’s true i could just not do. except i would lose my job and fail out of college because i would not #be able to get to classes or do my homework or think. but being told ‘but you are making choices about your life’ when i have lost so much #of what i used to be able to do because i am spiralling down and continuing to get worse is so. #literally last year i would wake up at 6:30 and then go to school till 3 and then go to my internship until 10 and get home at 11 and be in #bed anywhere from midnight to two in the morning and then wake up the next day and do it all again. i graduated with a 3.9 gpa and made it #into my top college while dealing with my cancer symptoms and then the two surgeries about it #but now i lose half my day to just making sure i can get out of bed. i can’t go anywhere because my body is physically too exhausted #any extra time goes into doing homework or occasionally time to myself #not decimating my health by doing minimum body care responsibilities isn’t freeing. occasionally i have a good day which is freeing but tha #usually goes into just. other things outside class or work or eating. I don’t go do something for myself or go do something fun on good day #because I still can’t. good days just mean i don’t want to lie down on the pavement when i’m going somewhere #I just. I don’t magically have control over my life because i try to get enough sleep. i lose half my day to doing that and ultimately it’s #just a bodily function that would have to happen anyway #this is a vent post im just having a really hard time right now because it feels like im in exponential decline. it was nowhere near this #bad last semester. my grades are tanking and i have no free time because anything outside of sleep is either work or school #vent tw #yall can rb this just ignore my tags completely #disability #chronically ill #i keep trying to explain to people how pots works because that’s all logical but there’s no way to explain what it’s doing to my body or ho #i feel all the time. the last time i felt this bad was when i had a bad flu or immediately after surgeries because i don’t react well to #anesthesia and always come out of them feeling like shit. and now i just feel like this all the time and it’s only getting worse #I can’t even stay up late anymore because my body feels like it isn’t counting the sleep even if I get 8 hours #I can deal if I have a free day the day after but that just leaves Friday and Saturday nights and I usually still have to do homework

[selfindulgentfandomstuff]

Okay. I know I’m not the best at math. But my god, stop trying to mansplain everything to me. I say ‘mansplain’ bc I know full well that these guys perceive me as a woman, so in their minds, incapable and needing to have things explained to her.

For real tho, I suck at math, but I guarantee you, you suck more and what you’re doing is not only rude, it’s embarrassingly inaccurate- (9/10 the dude explaining something to me ends up being proven wrong the further we get in to the day’s lesson)

Stooooop trying to one up me just bc you think I’m a woman and feel threatened by the fact that a ‘woman’ is smarter than you.

#vent #vent tw #tw vent #tw misogyny #tw transphobia #idk if anyone needs this tagged differently so let me know!! #I’m so serious tho. the intersection of transphobia and misogyny goes crazy in this class #all cis guys save for one girl and one non-binary person (my friend) and me (a trans guy) #in this class #luckily the teacher is a woman too so they at least have her to kinda put them in their place #EVEN THEN tho there’s at least one guy that tries to correct her THE PROFESSOR on her own material for that she’s teaching 💀 #it’s insane I feel like I’m gonna lose it sometimes #thank god for that girl and my non-binary friend… they’re always so nice to me #also the girl probably has the top grade in the class but you never see her trying to haughtily explain stuff unprompted to ppl #she’s rlly nice actually I rlly like her she seems shy tho so I don’t wanna make her uncomfortable #auughhh anyways. thx for reading. sorry for bitching. whatever.(/lh)

[crossbackpoke-check]

V random but I’m in my Brockpetey feels could I listen to your 46 60 playlist!!

of course!! the first playlist i mentioned in the tags is actually not mine—it belongs to ash @notthequiettype and is a soundtrack to their wonderful fic Lake Rules (go read it if you haven’t already!!! highly recommend!!!)

annnd this one is my personal brockpetey vibes playlist

happy listening!!!

#liv in the replies #sadcanucksfan #also!! ash if you want me to unlink/untag please let me know and i will!!! #this one got bumped up because it’s currently relevant (i just posted brockpetey content) the rest of them will be scheduled in the queue 🫡 #if i don’t do it now i will lose all links and ability to find things #as for my brockpetey i have zero reasons for any of the songs besides minnesota. it’s all vibes no thoughts. #minnesota to me is the quintessential brock petey song topped only (but really equaled) by charm you (also by samia) #like minnesota i would love to say is a joke but i really heard that song for the first time YEARS ago and went oh my fucking god. #i’m going back to minnesota huh #and then CHARM YOU??? AN ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST ME PERSONALLY???? #you’re telling me there’s the lyrics ‘kissin you would be like kissin on the USA’ & ‘flying while i’m lying that i hate LA’ & it’s not 406? #(addition that i wasn’t gonna tell you but i have to tell y’all because it’s relevant to Me. samia is so so so so good live.) #(also i haven’t added it to the playlist because it’s sad but kill her freak out has narrative potential as brockpetey. also???? #they’re all somehow petey pov to me. sometimes people just get assigned bands in my head for no reason & i think samia is petey’s vibe band. #BESIDES bbno$ which is canon lmao. spiritually petey is a samia song to me i guess idk why either sorry but kill her freak out #is a (seemingly you know how i am) unrequited brock/petey for when brock got his gf. thank u for your time i hate it too just listen to it) #also no statements about my music taste i will cry. if you hate it don’t tell me if you have recs do tell me #although i do have a joke playlist compiled of all the songs brock has been screencapped listening to because. why not. it’s fun and also #has that man ever listened to a single lyric in his life. what the FUCK is up with your chill playlist bud none of those songs are chill. #lovingly. ripping my hair out. the amount of times he listens to fast car like???? girl are you okay. #anyway this is ur reminder i miss stalking people on spotify let me see your music taste cowards. #ALSO #IF I THINK TOO LONG ABOUT PETEY IN MINNESOTA I WILL LOSE MY SHIT SO I AM NOT JUST KNOW THAT I CLICKED THE FIC & SKRTED I CAN’T HAVE EMOTIONS #if i did not have someplace to be at precisely 7:50AM i would be having a full breakdown please believe me. #oh also ALSO bonus points if you figure out what the numbers in the name are :)

[akkivee]

in the chapter where ichiro and kuukou meet for the first time and duke it out, kuukou is initially overwhelmed by ichiro’s strength, but upon the rematch, kuukou had clearly memorised ichiro’s moveset in that brief skirmish and was able to tie with ichiro at the end so i believe kuukou’s got a bit of a tactical brain to back up his strength as well—

#this is vee speaking #sometimes i take the hypmic characters and treat them like action shounen characters lmao #less who would win if they fought (i’m not that dudebro fan enough lol) but i do think about where their battle prowess lies #like i think the top three strongest characters are rio rei and ichiro in terms of power output!!!!! #rio rei and jakurai are the most tactical!!!!! rio jakurai and juto are the most trained!!!!! #samatoki ichiro and kuukou’s street fighting skills are unmatched!!!!!! that kind of thing lol #i wish i was better brained at skill set stuff because i’d love to lose hours of my life sticking together teams based on abilities lol #like mixed up teams are neat to look at based on what abilities they’re working with #team ichiro might be a little cracked lol with ichiro and jyushi having damage dealing moves and rosho’s being an atk stat raiser lol #team samatoki would probably be insane lol like rei is so versatile he can cause the enemy to attack themselves #or trigger an enemy’s ability prematurely to get samatoki’s ability output on max and doppo has the greatest damage output #that kinda thing makes me happy to think about lol i really do wish hypmic had a game like that too lol

[lesbianseulgis]

i need a laptop so fucking bad i miss giffing its literally been a year

#i hate being poor i would like my hobby back now #i’m kinda scared im gonna forget how to do it too #did u know i’m still paying for photoshop cuz i got a student discount and if i stop paying then i lose the discount for when i do get #access to it again capitalism is a fucking nightmare #i want to make stuff again whenever i watch something i’m like omg that would be a perfect set! oh. oh i cant. #i couldnt even do my top 10 of 2023 :(((

[sportsallover]

I think it’s way too early (both in the season and in her career overall) to have any total score hopes for Lou, but still she’s freaking second right now! How cool is that!!

#Lou Jeanmonnot #biathlon #I’m too new to know Franzi Preuss #but from what I’ve heard the yellow bib is well deserved #(I mean I’m of the opinion that it always is 👏) #so I’m really happy for her too #it's just that I'm losing my mind over Lou right now #aiming at a top 6 by the end of the season #and being second after three races

[321sluggie]

mentions of weight loss in tags

#sorry I don’t know how to do a read more on mobile but this might be a lil distressing to read idk #I haven’t bought a scale nor have I looked at one in months. but a friend had one and I used it #and I’ve lost more a those lbs #I just. look fucjing frail now #I’d suspected maybe I’d lost a bit. but not nearly as much as I have #every time I eat now I get horrible cramps. I thought I was managing it but I guess I’ve been avoiding more than I thought #I keep telling my doctors and they keep saying that unless I feel bad I’m fine #and like. I do feel bad. lol #and so they just tell me to wait until my follow up in October #I’m glad it’s not too far now but I just feel like none of these people care #I dont know why but no medical professional I’ve spoken with has been concerned about my weight loss but like. #I’m 6’ and 120lbs. this isn’t right #I think it’s just fatphobia. like these people will tell a healthy fat person to lose weight no matter what #and losing weight is always ‘good’ #the surgeon who did my top surgery just sent me a survey about body image and I don’t know if I should fill it out #I’m so glad I did top surgery. but the rest of me is just. skeleton featuring débilitating pain #I DONT FEEL VERY SEXY DOCTOR IM SORRY

[darknessontheedgeoftowndyke]

This shit is exhausting man i just wanna love my body

#i don’t want my chest but idk how much of my chest i don’t want!!! #i saw someone’s radical reduction top surgery and i can’t stop thinking abt it #but I’m scared I’ll get it and then want more gone #but idk if a completely flat chest is for me either ??? like if like to look mostly flat but #i don’t know what is going to make me actually feel comfortable and happy #i wanna get into yoga and excersises but i can’t do it bc i can just feel my chest move #and the only time i feel right is with trans tape #like i love to just walk around my flat with it on and no shirt #it feels so right #and i just don’t know what i want or need anymore #I’ve lost so much this last year and i feel like I’m losing myself too #if you made it this far in my tags i love u

[mourninglamby]

I’ve never been this uncreative in my life I seriously just don’t want to do anything anymore.

#good stuff sorry #but I’m starting to dislike food again too #if I lose any more weight then that’ll be a problem and then I’ll die #like not this. not that on top of EVERYTHING FUCKING ELSE #please please please god please #good news. i need good news soon #so much bad shit is happening and will happen #i can’t live like this dude