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#I'm about to hit one and idk what to do
jkvjimin · 1 month
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new people on this site: please support your creators! likes are worthless. this place is the only one where you can get free gifs, free contents all the time but creators are leaving here because it truly has become useless, don't push them away any further! reblog is the tool you could use to support us from the void this place is becoming...
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tbh you are so real for talking about the misogyny targeted to mei & other women in the lmk fandom. in general its like people only value mei as: a: the wingman to some basic mlm ship or b: macaque 2.0. its honestly crazy how so many male side characters overshadow her in the fanbase despite not even having a FRACTION of her screen time. idk chat i feel like the reason people dont care about mei but care about some random male side/background character is less because they're inherently more likeable but because some of you view women as inherently less likable. and everyone is always like "mei is so girlboss pussy cunt slay shes the only reason theyre still alive because she keeps them safe from their silly boy shennanigans shes their ultimate wingman shes so badass shes their lesbian best friend i totally paid attention to her when i watched this show LOL" and even ignoring the obvious misogyny here (ie. how people reduce her to being the male characters babysitter) its like... okay... i know mei is cool & badass already... could you name literally ANY other character trait she has. like people just value her as being "the braincell" who can get red son and mk together or something stupid and its like are we having fun still is this still fun. literally every day i go into the mei tag its like "look at mei shes red sons wifey and shes vaguely in the background of this drawing of red son and mk staring into each others eyes #trafficlighttrio am i right oh look shes macaques niece now this post is about ao lie why is it in the mei tag"
and thats literally JUST talking about mei and it doesnt even begin to cover the other female characters. chang'e constantly gets reduced to being red sons aunt/mom/big sister despite them like. not having any actual interactions in the show. lady bone demon constantly gets overshadowed by her minion who has like 2 seconds of screen time, or she gets made into a cartoonishly abusive madwoman who people call lady bitch demon. just in general people act like shes a horrible person for like. being a villain. liks yeah the trying to destroy everything was bad but also she was an antagonist and thats what antagonists do LOL. spider queen gets completely ignored. princess iron fan gets made into a cartoonishly abusive mother so that way red son can have a poor angsty backstory and some male character (usually nezha, macaque, swk) can take care of him.
(also theres just a great deal of ethnocentrism in the lmk fanbase? like im white so take what İ say here with a grain of salt but so many people will misconstrue aspects of chinese culture for their own personal hcs. people will say male characters are transfem or nonbinary while completely ignoring the time period/culture their from where thats the norm. like yippee youve implied that an east asian man is feminine/emasculine because he has long hair. how do you not see the negative connotations with this. people also turn pif (& lbd to an extent) into a dragon lady which obviously has negative racial connotations lol.)
anyway this is where my unhinged rambling ends have a good day have a good night İ had more to say here but İ reached the text limit. İ dont see a lot of people talk about the misogyny thats prevalent in the lmk fanbase so İm glad youre pointing it out lol.
Yeah, I totally hear you. The lmk fandom has plenty of issues with misogyny and, like you said, ethnocentrism. It's definitely something worth having a discussion about, along with these issues in fandom as a whole.
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lesbiansanemi · 10 days
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I am so fucking sick of living with my roommate and his fuck ass boyfriend. Also watching my roommate burn every single one of his (already rather minimal, I might add) bridges for this guy is also kind of painful but also his relationship with me is one of said bridges so I'm almost past the point of even feeling bad for him lmao
#i have had to piss for probably the better part of an hour now#because they decided to take a shower together and have been in there for well OVER an hour now#and this is a nightly occurence atp sometimes MULTIPLE times a day#we have one bathroom.... can yall not be considerate enough to not be in there for up to TWO HOURS AT A TIME???#also it's such a waste of fucking water....#idk we've hit a point where i literally hear the bf doing anything and i get pissed off#but also tell me why i'm sitting in my room (which shares a wall with the bathroom) and i can hear this man hacking and spitting shit up#and this is also something that happens multiple times a day#like.... dude.... why are you spitting up toothpaste so fucking loudly oh my fucking god#but yeah no i'm like my roommate's only friend atp and he's about to not have me lmao like we're about to reach#'i'm cutting you off when i move out' levels of me being pissed off with this whole situation type shit#and apparently the bf convinced him to come out to his family which his mom was chill which is good#his dad's side of the family though....? not great. and my roommate KNEW that would be the case cuz we'd talked about it before#also love that my roommate has constantly talked about moving out of the city we live in because he hates and also there's no good career#opportunities for him here (which is true)#and now. MAGICALLY. he's like 'idk i think it'd be best for me to stay here'#like oh my GOD???? are you hearing yourself???? are you fucking stupid???? you fucking hate it here???#but sure throw your life away and ruin all your meaningful relationships for a guy you met six months ago jfc#and the thing is i *know* my roommate we've been close CLOSE friends for nearly a decade now#i know he is not like this.... like yeah he's being insane by allowing this but also i know these aren't the kinds of decisions he would ma#and also i know he wouldn't treat me like this all on his own#it's the deranged fucking control freak of a guy he decided to date and my roommate has too many of his own issues to put his foot down#about certain things and tell the guy no so he's just allowing him to completely take over his life#and fuck everything up until the bf is the only thing he has left once it's all said and done#and yeah. it's painful to watch. but also wtf am i supposed to do because obviously my opinion is not respected nor wanted regarding this#that has been made PAINFULLY clear#ugh this is so fucking horrendous#what is it with ppl who start to date someone and then go clinically fucking insane and destroy their lives all for this one person#who. realistically. they barely know in comparison to all the other ppl in their life#like explain it to me jfc
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mindhowyougo · 4 months
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been thinking more or less nonstop since last night about the finale and i'm no closer to knowing how i feel about it
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the-punforgiven · 18 days
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Y'know how people always talk about weed being a "gateway drug" that leads into doing heavier and heavier drugs as you go on?
That's what longsword was to me, I tried fighting with a greatsword yesterday and I can't go back, I need another hit already lol
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xannerz · 4 months
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arklay · 1 year
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DIANA x ALBERT WESKER / template.
#mine.#pair: ewskers#oc: diana#click for better quality ♡#posting this before i start changing more things lmao but yes i went nuts and made my own psd from scratch... don't look at me#changed ages to birth years cause of how much time passes in the story!! and also gives cheeky fc for you hehe runs away#the checkboxes make me scream like he almost had a clean sweep it's so funny. and he could've had one more i'm not even joking. cause their#first kiss was technically both of them... like idk how to explain this but they were already standing close then diana moved even closer#and was tracing his jaw and such and they were just lingering while holding eye contact but he was the one who actually closed the distance#so i mean... yeah. she was just about to and he beat her to it!! but diana made the move to get them into that position in the first place#is what i mean. i just couldn't give him more it was already too hilarious lmao#can't tell if i like the lil icons but i can't doodle so peace and love on planet earth but yes i'm happy with how this came out hehe#clueless levels are cause they are clowns <3 i have a lot of thoughts about all that but yes they both take hints in some aspects but i#think they both have trouble telling if they are genuine or not or if they are misreading the situation or whether something is romantic or#not (unless ofc it's over the top and ridiculous. ahem. excella. cough. explodes her with my mind) but yeah hit him with the tism so he's#learnt how to read people very well as he's gotten older but i think when it comes to actual just genuine like wanting to get to know#someone and not just someone wanting to get in his pants he seconds guesses it a lot. and diana's all stems from being rattled by her past#experiences oughguhh and i mean her not actually having experienced proper feelings for someone until him lmao but she's got trust issues#also there were so many tropes i could use (thank you to bestie elliot for helping me finds names of things) but i had to do i got you a#drawer specifically because that moment has such a special place in my heart!! like i need to finish the wip where i talk about that cause#it makes me so silly i'm not even joking#anyway omg i hope the mentions work because doing this on the legacy editor after copying the html for beta one because the image just#didn't want to work in the beta image for some reason rip
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skrunksthatwunk · 10 days
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fuck that last fight against nightmare boooooo this shit is actually so stupid and evil and i don't like it >:(
#it's. eugh. it's. FUCK#i don't like it it's so bad i've done it like 10 times now#eughhhhhhhghhhnghn#dmc#dmc1#i still ahven't beaten it either.. sheeshhh#and i have to fight the stupid ice lizard things before a lot of the attempts too and half the time i can't dodge their jump thing because#i'm mid-combo so any indication of the wind-up to it can't actually be reacted to bc i'm busy getting hit or hitting#such that by the time the move is finished i literally can't get out of the way. often a roll isn't even enough range and they stand next t#each other so one roll's basically all i have time for anyway. sigh#whateverrr. this blows. this blows actual literal severe ass. ughhhhghh#dante. dante i believe in you i believe in us we can do this. but FUCK YOU NIGHTMARE YOU STUPID OOZE#arrrhghrhharzagraaaaa#sigh.. look the vulnerable points shouldn't only be available during 100% attacks in that area such that you take crazy damage if you#actually try to attack the part you have to attack before it goes away. and i've gotten so close ONLY FOR THE SECOND PHASE TO INITIATE AND#IMMEDIATELY KILL ME. BROOOOO WHAT ARE YOU DOINGG#look maybe i'm a pissbaby who's bad at video games but this pissbaby's got feelings#i should probably try a different weapon combo... sigh...#i did so bad on my alastor attempt that i've been using ifrit (i also like how fast the devil time is given the brevity of the weak spot's#appearances) but maybe sparda would be a better choice. but i like the devil trigger. i gotta listen to the song y'know. it's all about the#devil trigger babyy it's all about the devil time. and sparda's got nothing. maybe i should use that gun that looks like the goop#like. like is that a hint? idk i'd think if they were made of the same stuff it would be less effective#and i don't like that it seems to stunt your devil gauge. but if i'm using sparda anyway in for a penny in for a pound ig#whatever. rant over. i am. Calm (<- lying). so i'm gonna try again#and if i get mad again i'll do hw or something
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rubberbandballqueen · 8 months
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the best part abt being enrolled in a calculus iii course is that it means i finally passed calculus ii. i have been enrolled in no less than FOUR different calculus ii courses, three of which failed to work out for various reasons, and literally NONE of this (calculus ii being a necessary course for me to take in college) would have happened had it not been for NUMEROUS FACTORS beyond my control but it's fine it's cool i'm learning NEW MATH for the FIRST TIME in FOUR YEARS and i am LIVING
#(i'd have taken calculus bc in high school thereby allowing me to take calc iii right off the bat in college had it not been for y'know.)#(The Numerous Factors Beyond My Control Which I Am Still Extensively Salty About To This Day)#like i don't even use the word salty like that very often anymore n i guess it's bc the slang fell out of use + i'm not as salty a person#as i used to be? idk BUT I AM STILL VERY SALTY ABT MANY FACETS OF MY MANDATORY EDUCATION AND THE DECISIONS OF SCHOOL ADMINISTRATION#i hate school admin sooooo much but Anyway#the first calc ii course i failed bc the prof sucked ass#the second calc ii course i failed bc of quarantine hitting. i'd have totally passed otherwise i'm pretty sure#the third calc ii course i withdrew from bc i didn't vibe w the prof n also it was in the evening#then the fourth one was last winter n i was convinced i got a D or smth but i guess the prof had mercy n gave me a C or smth#WHAT MATTERS IS THAT MY SISYPHEAN HELL OF NEVER KNOWING IF I WILL PROGRESS IN THE ACADEMIC BRANCHES I WANT#IS NOW OFFICIALLY OVER AND I AM FINALLY TAKING CLASSES I'D HAVE OTHERWISE TAKEN THREE YEARS AGO but it is okay#bc life keeps moving forward n i will keep moving with it#in other news my boss asked me if i'd like to basically take the lead on our afterschool programs n like.#if it keeps me from having to train for sports good lord i might as well even tho i can see like.#so much more work coming out of this bc if i'm gonna run smth or make anything out of anything i Need it to be Excellent#but what do you DO with a bunch of kids in an afterschool program???? my coworkers are like 'play sports outside'#and also i have many questions and requests to make to my boss when i see her next but it's cool i'm writing them all down#the worm speaks
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autistic-shaiapouf · 1 month
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Beginning to really wonder how much of my financial concern is manufactured and handed to me as opposed to something I'm genuinely concerned by
#bc like. i'm getting by just fine. i don't have anything to be reasonably worried about#but also when i was a kid my father would break down my mother's paycheck and basically explain how broke we were#and that May Have Affected Me Somewhat#as well as just. the way you consistently see the advice to just save! don't get takeout! necessities! and i'm not intent on living like#a monk nor am i intent on being on that grindset for financial gain#it's like i don't intrinsically care but i have so many messages given to me about how i need to care a lot and it puts me in a weird spot#i am simultaneously standing still and moving at mach speeds#i mean right now i just need a safety net while in between jobs; after that i need to save up to move out of state bc the uh#political situation and upcoming presidential election don't seem very sustainable for someone like me anymore#they weren't to begin with but i don't wanna stick around to see how bad it's gonna get#but it's like. okay and then what? save for what? going back to school i guess? idk#i feel like i keep asking myself what i'm trying to accomplish and keep trying to force myself to have answers#here and now when i have to be okay with taking things one step at a time instead of having everything here and now#it's simultaneously fine and terrible and i am holding two conflicting yet equal truths#i feel i may have a clearer head once i leave my current job. i'm trying to look but nothing feels appealing given how#burnt out i already feel. i dread going back into my workplace and i fear it's showing to the patients and i don't want that#i want a month off to rediscover who i am as a person outside of getting yelled at in retail and then pick something back up#could be feasible. genuinely could be. i need to sort out the health insurance aspect but. that's lowkey the plan?#to construct a financial safety net and then slam on the breaks for a while; see if i can strike up a deal with the staff about me#coming in for specific tasks bc we already know i'm quick and efficient with the inventory so i do have a little leverage#you know what. this is getting some of it off my chest and i'm starting to feel confident again lmao#i won't be doing weekends starting either next week or the week after so that's a start! i just think i want everything done right now#bc i'm afraid i won't have the chance again but i will. i definitely will#i just need to let myself get to that point; it's just the immense drain from the register work and the Everything that comes with retail#also having to accept that it's okay to leave this; there's not something wrong with me like. ''not being able to handle it'' or w/e#no mindfulness or detachment could've saved me; it was shit and i'm hitting the bricks and that's all there is to it#i've been thinking a lot about it all lately bc it's what's most prominent in my life rn of course#idk. pondering. introspecting. as i am wont to do#anyways if you've read all this you're a real mvp and i am kissing you on the hand#shai speaks
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sysig · 10 months
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Okay honestly I might have to take a break from posting with the lack of legacy editor, the new system is fucked in so many ways
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shirtlessradfahrer · 2 months
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hi sorry I disappeared for like two weeks but I was overwhelmed with the news that there's a significant chance I may be on the autism spectrum (and possibly have a nice side helping of adhd) which if true has a fuckton of implications for how poorly many, many things throughout my life have played out, so needless to say I am not doing very well
(and by that I mean I was mostly crying on and off for days, and then cried some more when I realized it will cost thousands if I want to get a proper assessment done and I'm not confident my insurance would cover all of it, and also depending on how much my hours continue to be cut this month I may not even have said insurance for much longer at all hahahaha)
#i'm so angry#thinking of how many adults complained about me and my behaviour growing up but couldn't help me at all#how long have i suffered for no reason#because i wasn't a completely nonverbal boy who liked trains or some shit#...actually i did really like trains but it didn't matter apparently#but learning about all the signs and symptoms in girls/women has felt like getting punched in the gut over and over#and all the absolute worst of my childhood and teenage years has rushed back to me with new context#and i'm so fucking angry and sad and upset#and now my mom is angry af too because she took me to a psychologist in complete desperation when i was like five#because i couldn't control my emotions for shit once i was home from school#i would just flip tf out and throw stuff around my room and be incapable of saying anything until i had completely calmed down#and this was happening on a regular basis and she didn't know what tf to do#and while at school i couldn't make eye contact or advocate for myself and again i just shut down completely if i was too stressed or upset#and several other things#and the psychologist was basically like lol idk what's wrong with her but you probably just need to be a better mother :)#just slightly more professionally#NO ONE ever mentioned the possibility of autism to her#and i feel like some of these things have...worsened when i'm at work but i couldn't figure out why i was having so much difficulty#and why i felt so drained after even a short shift#but then reading about masking hit me like a fucking freight train#and apparently my brother’s girlfriend-who was officially diagnosed a few years ago-suspected it when she first met me??#but idk what to do now bc i have an doctor's appointment next week#and i feel like i should bring it up because i hate just self-diagnosing#but even if i somehow managed to pay for an assessment (lmao) i don't feel like my doctor's going to take it seriously#considering he's been our family doctor since my birth#and apparently couldn't be bothered to take my mom's concerns that seriously back then either#jfc I’m rambling again don’t look at me
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silkjade · 3 months
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it’s 3am so please enjoy my favorite painting in the world while i reflect introspectively in the tags thank u ♡
day and the dawnstar by herbert james draper
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#— 𝓭𝓮𝓵𝓲𝓬𝓪𝓽𝓮𝓼#///#this is meant to be like elevator music for the dash while you scroll past#……………..#i love selfshipping it's vry fun but sometimes when i think about it too much or rather when i think about any scenario at all#i'm always like i want so and so to do this and this and this but when asked what i'd do for them it's like hitting a blank ) :#and i can’t help but feel as if i’m being…. selfish….#selfish in the sense that i can so easily accept the love i crave but i don’t know if i'd be able to give the same back?#and this bleeds into my real life becus i suppose i just don't know how to make someone feel loved like...#i’m not even half as affectionate irl as i may seem online & i don’t have a cute or particularly loving personality.#the words i say aren't warm ; ironically they make me sound disingenuous lmao no matter how much i practice my cadence#& idk why it’s so difficult for me to imagine myself doing like.. domestic things for anyone without cringing at the alien nature of it#not becus there's something wrong with that but i just can't see ME doing anything like that and i just think 'what is wrong with me' becus#it's one of the simplest and purest forms of love i think ; \ idk maybe i've just never loved anyone enough like that...#but then i feel so..bad...because the real me is so apathetic boring cold#& not to make things sound transactional but why would someone want to stay if what they invest produces lackluster results ?#like omg ! even i can tell that it's totally unfair i'd feel like a leech#even in the painting above draper the painter says: 'to faint in the light of the sun she loves / to faint in his light and to die'#iz so me yearning 'n then dying from yearning becus i don't know how to express it#like when mitski said '胸がはち切れそうで' 'my chest is about to burst' i felt that#anyways i suppose this was good to get out before chinese new year lolz#i hope u did not make it this far honestly anyways i m going to rb a bunch of random stuff to hide this
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poptartmochi · 10 months
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y'all i have created a Monster 😮😳😳
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#sriracha.txt#long post#i found a grey hair mod and. well.#i always knew she'd be at her most powerful when she was graying but i didn't expect to be so RIGHT#i was going to give up the sims 4 but now i must go cc hunting to attempt to make her outfit in 5 proper#i like to imagine she has this stupidly big square leather duster.. nero's got the short coat in 5 so Somebody has to hold down the front o#ridiculously long coats! anyways it's not even her coat - thus explaining the size - but like one of the staff's communal freezer coats#in my head it's this really nice like.. daark eggplant that almost looks brown but It's Ourple Ur Honor#and ofc she has the vermilion/orange/?? skirt 😤 which is funny because now that i'm thinking about it#her color scheme is saur spardalike. make of this what you will but i will be pretending it's on purpose :3c#anyways her outfits during 5 are really fun to think about because they're just a mishmash. her design is on the downwards slope from being#Ultra Polished to whatever is in arms reach... there's no time to think about what to wear when you've got a whole island to defend from#demons solo! (but. because her outfits were so polished before. there is still the swag throughout her fits because she's cycling through#her old clothes yk 🍻 nero's design undergoes a pretty big shift between 4 and 5 that communicates a Lot about fortuna to me so I want her#design to reflect that culture shift while bridging the Then and the Now#my one thing w the design here is that. i think the coat might be a little too v-esque which. on one hand is funny. on the other hand she#and v do the venn diagram chacha a little too often + idk if i want to invoke that here. so while i will die fighting for the freezer coat#design i'm also entertaining the thought that this mf is just fighting for her life in her house robe because she woke up and the neighbor'#roof was on fire and there was no time to really get ready.. this is like 5's version of a frying pan being one of her weapons in 4 simply#because she had it on hand when the shit hit the fan.. she is always in situations with no prep time </3#oh! another thing while i'm spitballing design stuff for her.. i decided she'd have a forearm tattoo#to cover up the scar from the brand.. i wanted it to have a lot of meaning to her so i've yet to sit down and figure out#What it is but. that's going on now 🍻 this is as important to her design as The Earrings so. despite being another part of the v-gioia venn#diagram chacha i Cannot take it back lol <3 unless i decide on something else with the ritual but 🕴it is unlikely#anyways i Have To Go to Bed bc i'm practicing driving later so!! farewell comrades lol!#nero prime
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acewithobsessions · 3 months
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Ughhhh how is it I write the darkest stories but get triggered by a kids movie
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Hello it is I, still awake at an ungodly hour- wait the sun’s rising—
ANYWAY! I was thinking of hero getting swamped with so much stuff that they kind of just shut down and haven’t processed a lot of things. The only who notices is villain, and instead of taking advantage of that like they should (they really should have-) they help them in a somewhat subtly way?
I am gonna attempt to sleep now :D -SleepyAnon
Frenemies
A/N: I felt this prompt on a spiritual level because I’m working on A LOT of stuff atm to get ready for the holidays and uh yeah…Sorry not sorry for how self-indulgent this may turn out 😊
Warnings: stress, burn out/over exhaustion
My Masterlist | Taglist Info | Requesting Information
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Hero slumped in their uncomfortable desk chair, eyeing the endless stack of papers ruefully. The ache in their shoulder had grown to a constant shock of pain that traveled all the way up their neck and into their shoulder blade now. Twisting this way and that, they tried to loosen the stiffness in their body.
Their lips pursed, screwing their face up in discomfort.
They were never going to finish going through this pile of paperwork for the case, they were never going to finish writing their backlog of reports, and they most certainly were never going to finish their biology assignment before tomorrow night’s class.
Hot tears pricked Hero’s eyes. Groaning in frustration, Hero doubled over their desk and rested their head in their hands. Taking a deep breath and then another, Hero dragged their hands over their face and scrubbed their cheeks as if that simple gesture could wash away the dullness of their eyes from months of being over exhausted or—
Hero flinched, nearly falling out of their chair. Turning around sharply, Hero stumbled over themselves trying to get out of the chair and face the window.
Tap, tap, tap.
Hero rolled their eyes. Villain’s tapping grew impatient. Taptaptap.
Strolling across the room, Hero opened the window and crossed their arms, not allowing the hovering criminal to enter their dorm.
“What do you want?” Hero grumbled, glaring at their nemesis.
“Come with me,” Villain said, offering them a hand.
“Why?” Hero hissed, “So you can abandon me in the middle of nowhere so I’ll miss the test tomorrow and not only fail, but also so I can’t foil whatever your newest scheme is?”
Villain pouted. “Do you honestly believe I’d do something like that?”
Hero arched their brow.
“Okay, maybe I’d do something to delay you, but not in relation to school!” Villain quickly explained. “I’d never do something that evil. This shit’s too expensive to be pulling pranks like that. If anything, I’d kidnap you after the test. But this isn’t a kidnapping…although I guess it could be?”
Hero clicked their tongue. Reaching to close the window, they said, “Well while you figure out which it is, I’ll be getting my work done. Now if you’ll excuse me—”
They barely got the window closed an inch or two before Villain was grasping the bottom of the frame and yanking it back up. Staring back at Hero, they held the window open.
“When was the last time you had a break?” Villain asked.
“Right now, actually,” Hero lied, “So if you could just leave me alone, that’d be great.”
Villain’s eyes shifted to the room over Hero’s shoulder. Furrowing their brow, they opened their mouth to say something, but Hero took a step closer to the window and shoved them hard.
Slamming the window shut, Hero quickly latched it. Villain began their furious tapping, shouting at Hero to open up again, but Hero simply smiled. Waving at them, Hero pulled down the curtain and turned away.
One day, they vowed, they’d figure out which of their classmates was behind their nemesis’ mask. One day, but not today, they sighed as they wearily eyed the heaps of paper on their desk once more.
*
The warm scent of aged paper and ink hugged Hero’s senses. Surveying the library, Hero hoped to find a desk somewhere hidden amongst the stacks—preferably alone so they wouldn’t have to deal with human interaction but mostly so they could concentrate on studying for their midterms.
Weaving a path through the shelves, Hero ran a gentle finger over the spines. They didn’t know why they did, only that they couldn’t help it. The smooth textures, the occasional softness of a leather spine. It was about the only thing they’d smiled about in weeks.
It wasn’t that good things hadn’t happened to them in that time…it was just that they hadn’t gotten to enjoy what good did happen to them. Between their classwork, their extracurriculars, and their heroism, they barely had time to sleep let alone study, eat regular meals, or indulge in themselves.
Hero shook their head. They could focus on themselves after midterms. Once winter break rolled around, they could take a day or two to regroup and be selfish. But then they’d have to start their term papers and finish those reports their supervisor was looking for.
They were threatening disciplinary action now. Hero swallowed at the all-too-fresh memory. If they lost this job…they’d lose their scholarship and if they lost their scholarship…
Hero didn’t dare let that thought breathe. If they did, they’d have to face the reality of breaking down in the middle of the very public library.
They hadn’t realized how many people went to this school. Sure, they’d passed some of the regulars that seemed to be permanent fixtures of the library, but nearly all the study alcoves were taken up by people Hero had never seen on this campus before.
Worrying their bottom lip, they climbed the stairs. They prayed they’d find a table for themselves, alone and secluded from the common areas of the library.
Passing another table with a pair of students, Hero wondered if they should just give up and go back to their dorm. Turning down another aisle, Hero’s eyes lit up.
Nearly sparkling in the flickering florescent lighting, an empty table waited for them. Hurrying toward it as if there were someone waiting to steal it from them, Hero grabbed the chair like a life preserver and pulled it out. Unloading their backpack onto the wooden surface, Hero sat down on the hard chair and prepared themselves for hours of studying.
Sliding their laptop from their bag, Hero’s attention was drawn to someone sliding into the chair across from them.
“Uh, hi,” the person whispered. “I’m sorry, there just aren’t any other tables, and believe me I looked. Do you mind—cause I’ll leave if you…”
Hero offered a sympathetic nod. “No, it’s fine. You’re [Name], right?”
“Ah, so you’ve noticed me,” they smiled shyly. They pulled their laptop from a beat-up messenger bag but made no move to switch it on. “Maybe we could study together? Get to know each other a little?”
“Like you need help studying,” Hero laughed. [Name] was the best student in their biology class. And every one knew it too. Professor practically put [Name] on a pedestal, often looking to them in exasperation when someone answered a question incorrectly. Their reputation for playing favorites was one of the many reasons why Professor was a widely hated faculty member on campus.
Now if only Hero had known that when they’d elected to take biology. If they had, they would’ve taken chemistry instead despite being awful at chemical equations.
Chuckling, [Name] said, “That may be true for biology, but I’m hopeless when it comes to history. Why are they all named Henry? Or Louis? How am I supposed to remember the Sun King versus the dude who created the concept of divorce for his own gain?”
“Well, for one,” Hero laughed, “they’re from two totally different countries, and secondly I doubt [History Professor] will make all the choices Henry. That’s more of Professor’s style, if they even gave multiple-choice questions.”
Thoughtfully, [Name] admitted, “That’s true, but I’m still hopeless. So how about a proposal, I’ll help you study for biology, and maybe you could help me with history? Think about, we’ll both benefit from teaching the other what we know because it’s still going over the material and on the studying front, we’d be learning from the better student.”
Hero narrowed their eyes at them. Why did that sound like something Villain would say? Scanning [Name’s] face for any sign that they might be able to recognize them as Villain was utterly hopeless. Hero couldn’t picture Villain without their mask and they couldn’t picture [Name] with a mask on.
“All right,” they begrudgingly agreed, “it’s a deal.”
[Name] grinned at them. “Great! Then where do you want to start? Biology?”
“Sure.” Hero nodded.
And so began hours of pounding biology notes into their head and trying to help [Name] keep the European nobility from blurring together in their mind.
Hero had to admit that it wasn’t all bad. [Name] had made them laugh more times than they could possibly count. To top it all off, Hero could finally remember the phases of evolution. It wasn’t until the chime went off over the library’s P.A. system to signal it’s closing that they realized how much time had passed.
“Well…it looks like the dining hall’s probably closed by now too,” [Name] said, packing up their stuff. “Do you wanna, maybe, get something to eat? With me?”
Hero froze, their joints stiffening. “Uh…I, um—”
“It’s okay,” [Name] nodded, humming. “I get it if you’re busy. I mean it wouldn’t be midterms week if you weren’t.”
The piles of paperwork sitting on their desk flashed before their mind. Uncertainty wove through their gut, drowned out by the frustration simmering in their chest. “Do you know what? I would love to. I haven’t taken a break in ages thanks to all my…my studying.”
Hero’s heart furiously beat against their chest. They prayed that [Name] hadn’t noticed their near slip-up, but from the smile that had overtaken their face, Hero didn’t think they had.
“Great! I know just the place,” they said, hauling their bag over their shoulder. “And, if it would make you feel better and like you’re doing something still, we could always go over more of our notes.”
“We could,” Hero said slyly, “or…you could tell me about your next scheme?”
[Name] whipped their head around to face them. Stricken, their mouth opened and closed before they seemed to regain their senses. “H-how? How did you know?”
“I didn’t,” Hero admitted, glancing down at their feet. “But you and I have never spoken and then you seemed to know how busy I’ve been and you’ve said some things in such a way that only Villain could say and—you just admitted it!”
Glaring at them accusingly now, Hero watched as Villain’s face split into that same easy grin that they’d flashed them earlier.
“So does that mean we’re not going to dinner anymore?”
“Oh no,” Hero said, “I’m starved. You’re taking me to dinner and we’re going to finish studying and then you’re going to tell me about your next scheme so I can get ahead of the paperwork.”
Villain laughed, hooking an arm around their neck and letting their hand dangle over their shoulder, leading them out of the library. “You stress too much, dear Hero. Don’t you know it’s the holidays? I’m taking a vacation until after the next term begins.”
Hero rolled their eyes. They grumbled, “I’m so glad to hear it. Gives me plenty of time to finish my paperwork from this term.”
But hey, at least they’d gotten their studying done, right? Side note: It’s only been a few years since I’ve taken biology and I cannot, for the life of me, remember anything I learned in that class
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