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alexbkrieger13 · 22 days

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Oh no NOT Peter pulling that joke 😅

https://www.aftonbladet.se/sportbladet/fotboll/a/gEXJ7B/sverige-oro-infor-em-kvalet-mot-england-vill-ha-med-sig-karta-till-wembley

"I'm just scared - I'll have to try checking a map"

LONDON. Close to 70,000 tickets have been sold for the European Championship qualifier away to England.

At Wembley, the Swedish team wants to take revenge - if they manage to find their way in the giant arena.

- There mustn't be too many catacombs so that you get lost and end up in the cleaning scrubber, jokes union captain Peter Gerhardsson.

Admittedly, there was a loss against Sweden in the World Cup bronze medal match in 2019. However, England undeniably have good memories of the European Championship semi-final two summers ago, which ended 4–0.

Right-back Lucy Bronze, one of the gold medalists from 2022, hopes they can build on the success.

- We have a nice rivalry with Sweden, says Bronze.

- It is a good, strong team. The fact that we are playing at Wembley is very exciting. Maybe the fans will take that moment with them from the EC.

"A different confidence now"

- Incredibly inspiring. We had a talk with the team and Rasmus (Liljeblad, sports psychologist) on Tuesday. Afterwards, you could feel the adrenaline rising to one's ears. They were ready to go out and play the match then and there, says Eriksson.

Johanna Rytting Kaneryd, who has many English club teammates at Chelsea, also wants to put the miserable semi-final in Sheffield behind her.

- You feel a sick desire for revenge, says Rytting Kaneryd.

"Into the cleaning scrub..."

Union captain Peter Gerhardsson is only afraid that Wembley Stadium is TOO big a facility.

- I'm probably not that star struck with stadiums, but I like when it's full, says Gerhardsson.

- I'm just afraid... there can't be too many catacombs so that you get lost and go into the cleaning scrub. I have to try to look at a map and try to read myself in!

The fact that Sweden begins the European Championship qualifiers against England in the national arena in front of nearly 70,000 spectators stands in stark contrast to many other premieres for the women's national team over the years.

Experienced Kosovar Asllani knows that, not least.

- So much more fun. You play and live for these matches. It is a top nation you meet. These are the opponents you want, says Asllani.

- You love playing in front of large audiences. I don't like playing in front of four people, it doesn't give the same kick.

In addition to England, France and Ireland are also included in Sweden's group.FACT

This is how the EC qualification works: They go to the EC

The first and second in the groups in the A division are ready for the football European Championship in Switzerland 2025.

The last seven EC places are decided via a playoff which is played as follows.

The threes and fours from the groups in the A division are drawn against group ten and the best group twos in the C division.

The eight winners of these playoff matches, plus the top six nations from the B division, a total of 14 teams, then directly play decisive playoff matches where the seven winners go to the European Championship.

#gotta love peter #swewnt #swewnt article

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babstheyaga · 7 months

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Little life update/Where I've been:

Things are going well for me lately. I finally managed to get a car, I got proper anxiety meds... But there's also some down sides.

My doctor is really concerned about my heart, so I have a appointment Monday to get a heart monitor that I'm going to have to wear for a week.

I also got denied SSI again, but my lawyer says that the judge who reviewed my case is known for being a very very bad person towards anyone born in the 2000s, so uh - we're suing them and taking it to federal court, because even my disability attorney was completely baffled how I didn't get it with my severe line of medical history.

Some of the upsides are my parents are trying to help me earn money, and because I'm only able to do small bits of work each week without the risk of possible hospitalization from stress, I get 200 dollars each month from them. As you would imagine, 200 doesn't go very far.

Outside of all of that, I have total loss of all inspiration to write. I really have no idea where my days go anymore. Maybe it's these new anxiety meds, but I feel completely zombified. I feel like I've totally lost touch with creativity. I can't even play games right now, no Stardew, no Overwatch, no writing, I can barely even sit for more than 10 minutes at a time to watch something on YouTube.

Saying the words "Depression episode" in front of my family is very dangerous, because they're automatic response is to shove me into the hospital for the next maybe 2 weeks. So I'm always very wary on outright saying my bipolar is acting up again and I'm depressed.

I don't feel depressed. I have no desire to do anything bad, but that's just the thing, I have no desire to do anything at all.

I swear I'm not saying this to get sympathy from anyone, I just feel like with my stories kinda blowing up a lot within the past month or so, I feel like I need to explain things to you guys.

My bff always tells me whenever I'm super depressed, "Go to bed, you'll feel better tomorrow." And each day I'm hoping the feeling better tomorrow will come. I know it will. I'll get out of this in like three weeks tops.

I have like over 20 inboxes right now, and I'm super sorry I can't keep up with them, I'm doing my best to not lose my sanity.

I might need a small break from writing all of my ongoing stories for a couple weeks, I may work on a few one-shots because I'm desperately trying to refresh my mind with creativity.

Sometimes the only way for me to get out of a depression episode is to force myself out of it, so I might try some new small one-shots to give myself a little kick in the butt to get outta this whole bologna thing.

I'm kinda super into the idea of regular TF atm, like nonhuman, so if any of you guys have any cool ideas, send them my way and I'll take a gander at them, maybe do like a quick 7-10k one-shot. I think that would be very refreshing for me work on.

I love you guys, sorry for the weird vent, I'm doing fine I promise, nothing to worry about. Please don't pity me or try to comfort me, I've dealt with Bipolar disorder since I was diagnosed at like 12, so trust me, I'm fine. I love you again, ttyl

#shut up tyler

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flowering-thought · 1 year

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Might take a day or two break from posting!

I haven't really talked about it but I have this thing called Fibromyalgia. You can look it up if you want but it's a nerve disorder and causes a lot of pain. It usually differs for everyone. Some people have debilitating pain which luckily I don't have, thank god- but mine is also worse than the average person's. There's not always something you can do to help the pain either tbh.

I take meds and stuff to manage it as best I can but I also take edibles as the CBD seriously helps me manage my day to day activities. But since I'm currently on a trip, with family that doesn't understand and kinda just thinks that I'm lazy it's taking a lot out of me.

So I just need maybe two days to relax a bit! I might or might not post depending on how much inspiration I get but I'll be answering regular asks about small things like the OC's habits or small stuff like that!

Sorry for the little break I just don't have my usual pain aids here so I'll be a little slower than usual with posts and stuff-

Hope everyone is having a good day!!

#.hana_talks_txt_♡

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artdecosupernova-writing · 1 year

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Word Prompt

Word: Induce WIP: Darkspace Portent Timeline: sometime in M31 CW: Some gross throwing up and medical stuff. Word Count: 627 Additional Notes: this was also inspired by a line from a prompt list I'd made for my 2nd writeblr anniversary that everyone ignored lol

***

"From the beginning, please."

Warren managed to catch a breath around bursts of stinging pain below his sternum in order to push out the next words. "I, uh…I ordered the fish—"

Thrive, pulling a pair of gloves tight over his hands and stepping out of the way of Gouna bustling around the med fac, made a chastising noise. "You were given an unknown alien meat and you failed to use your critical thinking skills before eating it without asking about its origins or chemical makeup."

"Come the fuck on—oh, god, oh god, get this shit outta me—"

Gouna poured a thin tan fluid from a large container into a small cup half full of clear liquid while Thrive calmly yanked the bed to a flat position and shoved Warren onto his back.

"I—" Warren threw Thrive an indignant frown at his aggression, breaking into a cold sweat from the pain. "I thought it would be a good idea."

Thrive carefully pried Warren's jaw open using a finger and peered down the back of his throat with a pencil-thin flashlight. "And how did that work out for you?" he asked. "Soft palate's white and there's inflammation in the esophagus, Gouna."

"Bubbles rising from the trachea?"

"Negative." Thrive lifted the hem of Warren's shirt to his collarbone and palpated his abdomen. "Petechiae on the ribs."

"I've seen this before. It's from a crustacean toxin normally harmless to the lenaya but obviously problematic for humans." Gouna nodded and continued to stir the contents of the cup. "Drink this, Warren. It will induce vomiting; the rest of the meat is still in your stomach and will only make the symptoms worse." He glanced at Thrive. "Please prepare the syringe for the antidote."

Warren squeezed his eyes shut against another wave of hot pain under his ribs. "Could I die from this?"

"Not today, no. You're here with plenty of time to rectify the situation. The toxin takes about fifteen hours to become fatal." Gouna handed Warren the cup.

Thrive filled a small syringe with another clear liquid in the corner of the room. "You will be fine."

Warren raised himself up just enough to gulp the contents of the cup without smelling or thinking about it. It went down surprisingly smooth even if it did have a taste similar to burnt rubber. He coughed and gagged once, but suffered no aftereffects. "Yeah…okay." He winced and clutched his chest. "I trust you guys."

Brandishing the syringe, Thrive moved to Warren's side and nudged the sleeve of his shirt out of the way. "I should hope so." He smirked as he passed a sterilizing gel over his flesh. "I'd be mildly embarrassed if you didn't."

Warren's brows shot up. "Oh? Is this an admission of guilt about not trusting me all that time ago?"

Thrive inserted the needle into Warren's arm with all the patience and serenity of a seasoned practitioner. "I am never wrong. Even when I'm incorrect."

Dregs of nausea began to crop up and Warren tried not to stifle it. "Babe, that doesn't make any fucking sense."

Gouna appeared with a bucket just in time for Thrive to move out of the way and Warren to evacuate his stomach of the poison meat. The room fell silent other than the pitiful sounds of Warren's misery until he had nothing else to expel.

"Fuck," Warren coughed. "Think that's it."

Thrive placed a cool compress against Warren's temple and combed his now-gloveless fingers through his hair. "Rest. I'll be back to check on you in an hour."

"'Kay." Warren stretched out again, thanking Gouna for the blanket he draped over him. "No arguments from me."

Thrive firmly kissed his head and made his exit, and Warren fell into a long, deep sleep.

#word prompt #Darkspace Portent #M31 Arc #pair: Sun & Moon #repost

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bleachanimefan1 · 2 years

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Human Or Ape Part 27

Legacy,

Night has fallen as the group, took refuge escaping deeper into woods in the mountain. After making sure that they weren't being followed, Blue Eyes decided that it was safe enough to rest. Blue Eyes helped Lily down from his horse while Rocket, Ash, Bumi and Crystal, who was riding on Bumi's back, hopped down from the other horses and started to set up camp. Ash tossed in some twigs and branches as he started up a small fire pit. As he was finishing up, Blue Eyes sat down in front of it and Bumi and Crystal sat across from him, warming up. Ash looked up at the two primates and signed to Blue Eyes. Bumi caught a glimpse of it as he saw Ash moving his fingers. "What's your friend saying?" He asked Blue Eyes.

"Doesn't that make your throat hurt? Talking?" Blue Eyes spoke.

"It does a little. But got used to it over time."

The three heard a sharp hiss and looked to see Lily dabbing the bullet graze on Rocket's arm with some alcohol, cleaning it. The ape smacked the cloth out of Lily's hand with an angry hoot.

"It's done now. Had to clean it. Now just let the air heal it and stop picking at it." She told him, picking up the med kit, putting away the supplies. Lily got and headed back over to Blue Eyes and Ash walked over to his father and sat down.

"I wanted to thank you people again for helping us with the soldiers." Bumi said to them.

"What brings you this far out here?" Blue Eyes asked.

"Are there more of you?" Lily asked as well. Bumi looked down as Crystal was sleeping in his lap then looked back at the group.

"There were others. Several years before the outbreak. Humans kept us, experimented on us. One day, word got out about an ape who rose up and said "No." Blue Eyes and Lily's widen as did Rocket's and Ash's.

"That's Caesar!" Rocket signed.

"That's my father!" Blue Eyes exclaimed. "The ape that you're talking about that's him."

Bumi's looked at him in surprise as well before he smiled. "Your father? What a surprise and now I'm traveling with his son. Life is so strange." Bumi made a small laugh of a hoot and continued. "Son, your father is a famous tale among us. He gave us the inspiration to fight back. We decided no more and rebelled as well. However, many others died as they tried to escape. Crystal's parents were among them." He sighed, sadly. Lily looked sadly at the marmoset sleeping in Bumi's lap while Blue Eyes sat quietly waiting for Bumi to continue.

"I took her and escaped but injured my hip, leaving me unable to walk without my staff. It's just the two of us now. We're trying to find a friend of mine who had managed to escape as well. We got separated."

"How do you know that he's still alive?" Lily asked him. "Humans have hunted down apes over the years after the outbreak."

"I have no doubt that he's still alive. He is very strong. He was raised in the wild before he was brought here." Bumi replied.

"I hope that you find him."

"That is kind of you to say. We don't get that very often." Bumi told her. Lily yawned feeling her eyes growing heavy. Blue Eyes tapped her shoulder and Lily turned to him.

"You go to sleep. I'll join you in a few minutes." He signed to her. Lily smiled tiredly and nodded before she leaned in and kissed Blue Eyes. He kissed her back and she got up and hobbled over to the sleeping bags, slipping into them. Ash was snoring very loudly as he went out like a light, completely exhausted. Rocket signed to Blue Eyes that he was going to keep watch. He got up and climbed up a tree, perching above on the high branches.

"Why are you apes out here?" Bumi asked them. Blue Eyes turned to him.

"Soldiers are coming. Not safe. Apes need a new home. Father sent me." Blue Eyes spoke.

"That is a very high task fallen on someone young such as you." Bumi replied.

"It is." Blue Eyes answered.

He was worried about his father, his mother, his little brother. And Lily. How could he keep them all safe? How could he keep apes safe? He needed to find their new home as soon as possible. Somewhere far. Away from humans and any danger. Somewhere they can be free. He imagined ape children running around, like Ash and him when they were little, playing. No war. He glanced over at Lily who was fast asleep in her sleeping bag. Blue Eyes felt his heart beating fast as he laid his eyes on her. It was a topic that Blue Eyes had never thought before.

He was a prince and eventually he would need an heir to continue his father's legacy. As much as the burden fell onto him it would fall on them as well. But what about Lily? Would she even want any children? She was good with the ape children, especially Cornelius. But would it even be possible for the her and him to even have children together? They were completely different species. He would still love her no matter what. Then Blue Eyes heard Bumi spoke. He looked up at the primate, snapping out of his thoughts.

"We should get some rest. We'll both need it." He laid down, while gently placing Crystal beside him. She curled up in his chest, still sleeping. Blue Eyes got up and walked over to some bushes pulling some branches and leaves and walked back over to Lily. He made a bed and laid down beside her. Lily turned around and moved closer to him. Blue Eyes pulled her in his arms and the two of them went to sleep.

#Planet of the apes #pota #war for the Planet of the apes #planet of the apes oc #blue eyes #rocket #Caesar #Ash #Fanfiction #read more

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isimp4hawkz · 3 years

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The Apothecary

(Hawks x Reader)

100% inspired from this beautiful artwork I found on pinterest ^^

This is my first time publishing any of my fics. I hope it’s enjoyable.

*Skimmed for any mistakes but I may have missed a few*

Words: 2.5k

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"Tell me something birdbrain. Did you come here in search of a remedy or did you come here to snuggle with my owls?" You scold aloud, brow lifted at the scene before you. It temporarily drew your attention away from the herbs you were blending for the person in question. If he really even needed them that is.

The man was bent over, hovering over the counter and barely burying his entire face into the soft plumage of Gamma's snowy collar, rubbing his nose into its depths, small chuckles resounding from him in his own apparent delight. Simultaneously, Thaddeus perched himself daintily onto the golden locks of his hair, managing to keep himself in place as the man's head moved about beneath him.

What shocked you is that they seemed to be genuinely enjoying his company, whereas they hardly acknowledge your existence throughout the day. It was much unlike how they'd usually act whenever someone walked into the shop. As soon as they heard that little bell chime from the entrance, both birds would take off towards their high perches on opposite ends of the room, making it in their best interest to avoid anyone new.

You didn't mind, nor question their habit. They only preferred your lone company either way, though they'd hardly show it. Much like you'd rather be with their company rather than some other person.

On that slow, peaceful evening, you'd discovered that maybe you don't know your beloved companions as well as you thought. For some reason, Hawks was some sort of an exception to them. Much more than an exception, at that.

For crying out loud, he was snuggling into Gamma and cuddling her as if she were a puppy! And she was letting him.

And Thaddeus. Thaddeus' behavior baffled you on an entirely different level. That was a bird who never permitted you any petting privileges, any time you'd insinuate a head rub, he'd screech at you and fan his wings. Very territorial, he was. At least you thought he was.

Yet here he was, God damn nesting in the hair of a complete stranger as if he'd known the man for years. As if you weren't the one who took him in when he was but a weak, fraile hatchling on the brink of death.

"I think your owls like me." Hawks chuckled, his huge crimson wings ruffling giddily when Gamma had begun to coo at his nuzzles, adoringly.

Jealousy. Blatant jealousy is what you felt. You weren't even going to attempt to hide it. You've tried endless times to get those birds to see you as their loving caretaker, showering them with love and treats and sating their every need, but to no avail. If anything, you think they see you the way a caged tiger would view its neglectful keeper, just a source of food.

You huff out a breath, subconsciously putting in more effort to mash the herbs together with the mortar and pestle than you wished.

Hawks noticed your subtle change in behavior. The way you slammed a small jar onto the counter, flicked off the cap, and aggressively shook out whatever was inside onto the cutting board. Or maybe it was the way you were mashing those herbs with a force that made him wonder if they'd somehow wronged you.

Of course; being him, he'd jumped to a brash conclusion. "Oh? Are you jelly that I'm giving the birds more attention than you?"

You stop your relentless mashing of compounds, staring ahead blankly for a moment before shaking your head. "Don't be ridiculous, I-"

"Awoh, it's nothing to be ashamed of, I completely understand."

"I'm jealous of you, actually."

Hawks blinked in confusion, lifting his head away from the owl's downy feathers and looking over at you.

"Seems like they fancy you more than they could ever me." A half-hearted smile tugged at your lips, the morose tone in your voice was inevitable.

Gamma's wide, intelligent eyes shifted to stare at you. It was like she understood every word you said. Her wings lifted, and with a few swift flaps, she was in the air. You flinched when she landed gracefully into your hair, her sharp talons clenching your head as gently as she could.

Hawks chuckled at how frozen you were in that moment, bringing up a hand to scratch Thaddeus on the chin as he stared. He marveled at the way your cheeks faintly turned a darker shade when Gamma had cooed. She'd began to pick at your head softly in a grooming mannerism.

Thaddeus shifted in Hawks' hair, suddenly growing restless.

"Wanna get closer?" Hawks asked him aloud, rhetorically, obliging to the small hoot he received in response and carefully sauntering over to you, wary of the unstable balance Thaddeus had while being on his head.

By the time he got close, you'd managed to settle Gamma down onto your outstretched bicep, but the stubborn owl only flapped back onto your head. The look on your face almost made Hawks laugh out loud, you were distraught. Torn between salvaging the rare chance at bonding with your companion, and continuing the preparation of a remedy for a paying customer.

He knew how much you cared for those birds, so much that he was willing to let you relish in the moment completely.

The smile on his face was somewhat solemn. "Don't fret witchy. I'm sure I can find some other witch who can cook up what I need."

Your brow ticked at the way he addressed you. "Excuse you. I am not a witch. I'm an Apothecary."

Hawks blinked. "Same difference."

You ignored that. "And even if you could somehow find another suitable Apothecary in the general area, I've been told by several patrons that I am the best of the best." You stated proudly, chin held up high in accordance. "The odds of finding someone more skilled than I are low to say the least."

He always enjoyed how confident you were in your craft. That confidence stemmed from true experience and skill, mastery even. You were right for claiming your profession to be deemed that high of a level, there hasn't been a single time in the past where your restoratives had let him down, no matter what their purpose served. He's glad that your clientele have spread the word of your little place, though they're restricted to hushed exchanges of whispers and secret notes passed in inconspicuous areas, out of the sight of any authorities.

The way you obtained some of your ingredients could be considered illegal if thorough investigation was to prosper, but luckily for you, that was yet to happen. No one was dubious of the little flower shop secluded between two towering office buildings at the farthest corner of the longest street in Kyushu. Hawks wouldn't dare run his mouth about its true nature to anyone, he would much rather heal his battle wounds naturally with one of your blends rather than the harsh steroids they'd stick into his body back at the commission.

"Can't deny that fact." Hawks chuckled, looking at you with apparent appreciation gleaming through his hooded eyes. "You've helped me through some tough calls, I don't think I-" He cut himself off in realization of something.

"I...I don't think I've ever thanked you."

You were quick to bring up the fact that he in fact spoiled you. Tipping you thousands over whatever price you'd ask for, as if money was nothing but a nuisance to him and he needed to get rid of as much of it as possible, it had you wondering if he would flaunt it around so carelessly wherever.

"That's different. Of course I'm gonna pay you in exchange for your meds, I'm not some shitbag. But I've never thanked you before."

Now that you think about it, it's true. The majority of times times he's come here, it's been in an urgent burst through the door, with little time on his hands to so much as greet you. You really can't recall a single time where he's thanked you, since he's usually in such a rush. Here one second, gone the next. His reputation stands firm.

Rarely have there ever been situations like this, where he's able to hang around the shop and wait patiently for you to get his order ready firsthand. You'd looked over your shoulder at him while he was appeasing the owls earlier. He had looked so calm, so sweet and tender in that moment, totally relaxed. It warmed your heart to see him like that.

His concern brought a smile to your face, how adorable to think that it would trouble him this much. "Hawks, trust me, you're fine. I know you're thankful. The proof is in the way that you pay literally five times as much as I could ever ask you for—more than that at times!"

Yup. That sounds like something he'd do, even he'll admit it. He distinctly recalls throwing a fat stack of cash at you in several of his hurried instances, not even bothering to ask for the price, or check how much was in the stack. He tilted his head aside and stuck out his lower lip in consideration of his own antics.

But that doesn't stop him from genuinely thinking that you deserve way more than what you make. You're taking one hell of a risk every time you sell another product to some shady person. He thinks you deserve to be appreciated more for that fact alone.

"Well, for what it's worth, thank you Y/n. Really, I mean it. What you do means a lot to me, more than I can put into words." He held your gaze with an adoration in his eyes that you didn't quite understand.

You've never seen seriousness cross that man's expression as well as it did right then.

He's perpetually cheerful and carefree, flirty more oftentimes than he should be. It surprised you seeing him so lacking in that notorious, glowing charisma. Maybe you'd go as far to say that in that moment, it looked like true joy was something he'd never experienced before. You couldn't even form words, rendered a gaping fish.

And maybe you would've actually taken his word for it, if it wasn't for you being reminded of the fact that the two of you had two big ass birds on your heads when Gamma and Thaddeus unexpectedly hooted in unison.

You and Hawks simultaneously broke eye contact to glance up at each other's birds, locking eyes with one another again.

It went silent for a few seconds.

Hawks' hard expression wavered hesitantly, his lip twitching in a futile attempt to remain serious. You then snorted quietly, biting your lip, and that's all it took for the two of you to burst out into a laughing fit that made you to bend over to clutch your sides, causing Gamma to flee from your head hastily and settle on her perch, Thaddeus following suit towards his respective stand when Hawks stumbled backwards a bit.

They'd managed to both ruin the moment and save it all the same, made it into something you didn't quite know you needed until it happened. A good laugh, one that had your face heating up and your cheeks beginning to hurt as the two of you only grew breathless with glee, struggling to keep your balance as you pressed your weight onto nearby objects to avoid toppling over.

The old Grandfather clock at the back of the shop had begun to chime, signaling the passing of another hour.

The sound caused Hawks to gradually come back down from his laugh-high. He submitted to that professional state of mind that subconsciously clawed at his back at times like these, once he was reminded of where he was supposed to be.

It was like someone snapped their fingers and all happiness was wiped from his face. Other than the faint pink still dusting his cheeks, it looked like the laugh that the two of you shared had never transpired.

You didn't even need to hear him say it. After you'd wiped a tear of joy from your eyes and regained your breath, you'd whirled around, right back to where you'd left off before.

A strange atmosphere settled into the shop. It grew peacefully silent, the rays of the setting sun stretched generously into the stop, accentuating gliding specs of dust in their path and lighting the room in a warm honey glow.

Hawks rolled his shoulders, wings reaching out to their maximum length in a comfortable stretch, as you bagged his things.

He'd requested a strong set of numbing-based remedies and other blends crammed with sedatives. It reminded you of the prep for some sort of illegal surgery, but you weren't one to meddle in the business of your customers.

You'd turned to hand him his bag, but were surprised when there was no sight of the man where he'd previously been.

It took a few glances around the room, you almost missed him at first, but there he was, standing before the display window, gazing distantly at the outside world under the evening glow.

Sometimes you'd catch a deep-rooted hardship in his eyes that was nearly impossible to detect. A flicker of something more, something lost long ago that he longs to have again. At times it looked like he was carrying the weight of the world in his wings and nobody knew it.

Or maybe your seclusion in your craft has run you crazy and you're just imagining it all. That's way more believable, anyway.

You'd walked up to his side, eyes trained on the lively cityscape. The city never slept, always bustling with some sort of commotion, but it was oddly calm on that evening. Nothing but nature in all its shapes and forms, like the gentle autumn breeze that shook the trees, like the songbirds softly jittering in a musical dialect only they understood, plus the ocasional car that would stroll by barely exceeding fifteen miles per hour.

Your gaze drifted back on Hawks, who has yet to notice your presence beside him.

Sometimes I wonder what goes on in that man’s mind, what challenges the relentless day brings him, and how he manages to come out smiling in the end.

#bnha hawks #hawks #anime #built different #keigo takami #my hero academia #oneshot #fanfic #apothecary #keigo #fanfiction #idk what else to tag #hawks x reader #y/n apothecary #the apothecary

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n7inky-fanfics · 3 years

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Lost

CW: Injury, blood, alcohol

The crew of the Normandy loves Shepard. She is different than any other Commander in the Alliance. She took the time to deeply know every member of her crew. While her name may inspire equal admiration and fear in others, it inspires warmth and loyalty in her crew. Everyone trusts her with their lives, and even on her worst days they never fear her.

That being said, the ship is now uncomfortably quiet and tense. For the first time ever, the crew is walking on eggshells around Shepard. Her own shell has cracked, and to avoid vulnerability she is lashing out at pretty much anyone in her path.

When the shore party returned from Thessia, Shepard maintained silence and a cold demeanour until she had finished her call with the Asari Ambassador. She managed to use the last bit of her usual grace to comfort Liara. Then, she broke. She snapped at Joker and the two of them had it out on the bridge. The argument ended with both parties shaken, but it was clear that they would forgive each other once they had calmed down. The crew had never seen Shepard like this, and it worried them.

It's the end of the main dinner shift, and no one has seen Shepard for hours. James, Garrus, and Kaidan have done their best to reassure the crew. Now, Kaidan is making his way to Shepard's cabin with a dinner plate. He doesn't think she'll eat it, but he has to try. EDI informs him that Shepard's door is currently set to lock out everyone, including him. When he arrives outside the door, he knocks gently. "Hazel, it's me. Please let me in. I just want to help." The red glow of the locked door turns yellow and then green as it is unlocked. It slides open to reveal Shepard's room.

Broken glass and puddles of alcohol cover the floor. The desk chair is upside down in the middle of the floor. A large, bloody dent mars the wall. Shepard sits in the floor, on the right side of her bed, with her head hung low. She's wearing her Alliance t-shirt and a small pair of shorts. Her short, pink hair is a ruffled mess. Her right hand is bloodied and bruised. Pieces of glass from the alcohol bottles stick out of her knees and shins. Despite the strong presence of alcohol, she seems sober. She must have destroyed every bottle she had without drinking a drop.

Kaidan stands in the entrance. "Hazel, you're injured. We should really get you to the med-bay."

"No." Her voice is steady and cold.

"Can I at least get a kit and start getting that hand cleaned up?"

"No. Leave it."

Kaidan sighs deeply. "Fine, but I'm coming further in." She says nothing as he makes his way to the couch, careful to avoid the broken glass. He sits on the couch, hoping she might get off the floor and sit with him. Instead, she remains still. "Shepard, we're worried about you."

"Fuck..." she whispers.

"Hey, it's not your fault. It's Cerberus. You know that."

"Like hell it's not my fault!" She looks up at him, her eyes puffy, red, and furious. Dark energy begins to glow around her. "I should have anticipated this. Fucking Cerberus has their nose in everything. Of course they'd be there, and of course they'd try to use me to lead them to what they wanted. I was a fool and Thessia was lost for nothing! Now, everyone is screwed and we're all going to die because I couldn't get the damn job done!" Her biotics glow brighter, and the field around her swells.

"It's not over yet, Shepard. We'll find them, we'll get the VI back, and we'll end this for good." Kaidan says gently.

"Don't you get it, Kaidan? I failed! The whole galaxy is relying on me to save their asses again, and I failed! I can't do this! I can't save them!" Her voice is raw and strained. She clenches her fists and screams "Fuck!" A wave of dark energy shoots out from her in all directions. Kaidan throws up a barrier, protecting himself from the force of the blast and the bits of glass that flow with it. He can't help but be a little grateful that Cerberus equipped her room with reinforced glass. If they hadn't, the fish tank and model ship display would have exploded. The coffee table, which had flown towards him and bounced off his barrier, settles upside down in front of the bed. Shepard's eyes widen with shock and fear.

"I... I haven't lost control like that since... since I left the Reds... Kaidan, I'm so sorry." Her nose starts to bleed slightly, and tears begin to slide down her cheeks.

Kaidan makes his way to her and pulls her into a tight embrace, leaving just enough room to avoid brushing the glass still embedded in her legs. "It's okay, Hazel. I understand." He holds her close and gently strokes her hair. When she seems to have calmed down some, he pulls back just enough to look at her face while he wipes the tears from her cheeks. She's pale and shaking. Her nose bleed hasn't stopped. She must be exhausted. After all this and the battle on Thessia before, even the best biotic would be. When was the last time she ate?

"Hey, let's get you sitting down." He guides her to sit on the bed and retrieves the food he had brought for her from the couch. "Eat this while I get Dr. Chakwas up here to have a look at you."

"Kaidan, I don't want anyone else to see this." She looks around at the mess she made.

"It's either that or I carry you down to the med-bay. I think you'll collapse if I let you walk it yourself."

She sighs deeply. "Okay, bring her up here."

Kaidan activates the direct link to EDI from Shepard's terminal. "EDI, can you please ask Dr. Chakwas to come up here with the necessary equipment to support an exhausted biotic and remove shards of debris from a person? And please, keep this on a need-to-know basis."

EDI confirms the request and Dr. Chakwas arrives minutes later with a large medical kit in tow. If she's surprised by the state of Shepard's room, she doesn't show it. She follows the mostly cleared path that Kaidan has made with a broom from the supply closet in the bathroom. Shepard is slowly eating the dinner Kaidan brought. "I'm going to get you an IV with fluids and nutrients, then I'll take care of your legs." Dr. Chakwas says.

As Shepard recovers, Kaidan cleans the mess. By the time Dr. Chakwas has gotten all of the glass out of Hazel's leg, the glass has been safely disposed of, the alcohol has been mopped off the floor, and the furniture has been set back where it belongs. "Thank you, Karin. I'm sorry about all this."

"It's my pleasure, Commander. " Dr. Chakwas replies. She places a hand on Shepard's shoulder. "Take care of yourself, now. Remember that I'm here to help. Come see me if you need anything." She packs up her kit and leaves. The room falls silent. Shepard stares into her lap and Kaidan wonders what to say to help her.

Finally, he says "Hey, you should get some sleep." She nods, still looking at her lap. "Goodnight, Shepard." He kisses her forehead gently, then turns to leave.

"Wait..." Her voice comes out barely above a whisper.

"Do you want me to stay?"

"At least until I fall asleep. Please." She's still staring into her lap.

"Okay, Hazel." He says. He climbs into bed and gently guides her to lay next to him. She curls into him and he wraps his arms around her. She drifts off to sleep faster than he had expected. She must be so exhausted. He, too, falls asleep shortly after her.

In the morning, Kaidan awakes to an early alarm and an empty bed. He finds her in the war room, mulling over data for answers. He brings her a coffee before he starts his day. He's sitting in the observation deck, coffee in one hand and data pad in the other, when Dr. Chakwas comes in, locking the door behind herself.

"Kaidan, I'm glad you got me last night. How is she doing this morning?"

"She's back at work, trying to find a solution. She was up well before her alarm, I think. She's stressed, and I doubt she's okay, but she's functional. I'll keep an eye on her, try to make sure she takes care of herself."

"Yes, please do that..." Dr. Chakwas trails off and looks away from Kaidan.

"What is it, Karin?"

"Shepard has always had it rough. You and I both know this to be true. She's always hid her emotions and buried them deep. But dying... it broke her in ways I can't fix. In ways she hasn't recovered from. Then, she lost people. Good people. Hell, she lost Earth. Now she's lost Thessia as well. It's all piling up. She struggles, and I fear that she's reaching a point where all those bottled up pains will all spill out. When she does, we need to be there for her. Please, make sure you're there for her."

She doesn't say it, but Kaidan knows what she's thinking. Be there for her this time. Don't abandon her like you did on Horizon. Be there for her this time. He nods. "I've got her back, Karin."

"Good." Karin nods and takes her leave. Kaidan stares out the window and sighs deeply. This war won't be won without a great cost. He just hopes Shepard doesn't have to pay the bulk of it.

#fanfic #mass effect #commander shepard #female shepard #kaidan alenko #shepard x kaidan #f!shenko #shenko #shepard #fshenko

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