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hyperfixiation-station · 5 months

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Forever And Always

TW: Death, injuries, angst

Pairing: Ghost x Reader

Note: Listen to this song either before or after you read. Makes the viewing experience 100x better.

Ghost should have been back by now. You had wanted to pick him up from the airport, but he had told you he didn’t know when he was getting in, and that he would just meet you at home. He had texted you 2 hours ago that he had landed, but since then it had been radio silence.

You sit at the kitchen table, worriedly watching the phone, waiting for him to text you. You’d been waiting for hours, the time far later than when he said he’d be home. You knew Simon, knew that something deeper was going on then him just forgetting to text you. Your eyes fall to your phone, the screen lighting up with yet another unread message. After hearing no one had seen him, you’d stopped responding, too tired and worried to think.

You: Is Simon with you?

Bubbles: no

Bubbles: he said he wanted to see u rather than go drink with us first day of leave

Bubbles: why

You: Is Simon with you?

Oh Captain My Captain: No

Oh Captain My Captain: Haven’t seen him since he said he was heading towards you

Oh Captain My Captain: Has he not made it back yet?

Oh Captain My Captain: I’ll see if I can find him.

Bubbles: Y/n????

Bubbles: where is he???

Bubbles: is something wrong?

Bubbles: Y/n???

It’s Raining Men: Captain is having me look for Ghost.

It’s Raining Men: I’ll find him for ya, don’t worry.

Bubbles: i’m coming to find u

Your phone rings and you startle, almost falling out of your seat. You snap out of your daze, almost dropping the phone in your haste to answer.

“Are you y/n, l/n?” The voice on the other end asks.

“Yes.” You whisper, heart sinking.

“This is Bakersfield Memorial. Something happened to Simon Riley. You need to co-” You don’t hear anything else they say, a rushing sound in your ears drowning out all other noise.

You hurry to your car, not bothering to change out of your pajamas. You peel out of the driveway and speed down the road, ignoring road safety laws. Your eyes fall on your left hand, the engagement ring sitting on your finger glinting in the moonlight. Your mind flickers back to 7 months ago, when Ghost had gotten down on one knee and asked you to be his.

It was the night before Ghost left for deployment, and you were out on the town, enjoying the last night you’d spend together for over 6 months. Soap, Price, and Gaz were there as well, and while you weren’t 100% sure why, you didn’t mind.

It hit 1 A.M. and you were about ready to go home. You were getting ready to leave when Ghost called your name. You spun around, mouth to tell him…something. You can’t remember what. Any thoughts vanish at the sight of Ghost on his knee, holding a small box out to you.

He said a lot of things, told you he meant to ask you after he got back but he just couldn’t wait. Told you how much he loved you, that he wanted to spend his life with you, wanted you to be his forever and always. You remember launching yourself at him, knocking him backwards, the bar cheering around you as you cried.

And you remember telling him that he better stay alive long enough to marry you.

You pull up to the entrance of the hospital, not entirely sure how you got there in the first place. You hurry inside, car still on, and a nurse leads you up stairs, through doors, down a million halls, twisting and turning in a path you’ll never remember. She talks to you, updating you on what happened, but you can’t hear a word she says.

You enter his room, biting your lip to keep from crying when you see him in the bed. What you can see of his body is bruised and bloodied, an oxygen mask over his face, wires and tubes crisscrossing every which way. You sit down next to him and interlace your fingers, mindful of the I.V. sticking out the back of his hand.

“Hey luv.” His voice is low and strained, “fancy meeting…you here.”

“Oh Simon, what have you done to yourself.” Your vision blurs with unshed tears as you take in your fiancé's labored breathing, the pain etched into his face, the bloodstained bandages that cover his torso.

“I’ll be…alright, luv. Be…just fine…in time…for…the wedding.” He squeezes your hand weakly, “That is…if you…can ever pick…a color…scheme.”

“I was thinking blue. And orange.”

“Like the…fruit?”

“I was thinking more rustic.”

“Hmm.” You pretend not to notice his grimace of pain.

“You know,” You say to distract him from the inevitable, “I was looking at houses on zillow the other day.”

“...Oh? Find one…you…liked?”

“Yeah, found this real cute farm house, has a wrap-around porch and plenty of land. Plus a couple extra rooms if we ever decide to have kids.”

“I’d love to…have a…couple more…Y/n’s…runnin…around.” He smiles softly at you, and for one moment he looks peaceful. But then the moment passes and the pain returns.

“That’d be a bit confusing.” You tease softly, trying to act normal, “I’d think you’d want to give them their own names.”

“Mhm.” He doesn’t respond, but his pained smile tells you he’s grateful you’re trying.

“I was thinking Rosalie for a girl.” You say quickly, “And…and Thomas for a boy. We’d call him Tommy for short.”

“You’ve…got…good taste.” He squeezes your hand, voice thick with emotion.

“Course I do.” You grin weakly, “I’m marrying you, aren’t I?” He laughs weakly, smiling up at you for a moment. And then his breath hitches and your heart drops.

The nurse bends over him, messing with his oxygen. It feels like all the air has been sucked out of the room, leaving both you and him unable to breathe. It’s an eternity before the nurse hits his chest and he gasps softly, his breathing returning to the labored and raspy rhythm it held before.

“Si?” You cry, leaning over him.

“ ‘m…okay…luv.” His eyes are closed, his face pale, sweaty, and lined with pain. The nurse gives you a look that you know means there is not a lot of time left.

“Can you do something for me?” You ask her quietly. She nods, and you tell her what you want to do.

“I’ll be back soon.” She says, smiling sadly at you. As soon as she leaves there’s a knock on the door, a familiar Scottish brogue fills the room. You whip around to find Soap in the doorway, panting and sweaty. He looks at you for a moment before his gaze falls to Simon.

“Ye scared me little bird. Yer door wis unlocked ‘n yer phone wis on th’ ground ‘n Ah guessed th’ wirst. I’ wis pure happenstance that Ah saw…that Ah saw Ghost’s bike on th’…on th’ ground ’n surroondit by cop cars on mah way back tae base.” His gaze never leaves Ghost, even as he circles the bed to sit at his other side, “Ah’ve git Price ‘n Gaz on their way.”

“We’re just…invit…ing…everyone…then?” Ghost rasps out, “Good…ta…see ya…again..Johnny.”

“We wur th'gither no’ even 6 hours ago, Ghost.” Ghost laughs softly and you grin weakly at their light-hearted banter, gently squeezing his hand. He slumps back against the bed, eyes fluttering as even that small interaction drains him.

“Soap, can I ask you to do something for me real quick?” You ask him quietly.

“O’ course.” You lean over, whispering quietly in his ear. He gives you the same look the nurse did as he stands and leaves the room.

“Wh’t ‘re…you doin?” Ghost slurs.

“I’m marrying you. Now.” You say softly, eyes blurring with tears again, “I always did like white and silver as a backup option.”

“Do-” You cut him off

“I want you, Simon Riley. I will always want you. There is no one else on this planet that could take your place, regardless of the time we get to spend together. Even if-” Your voice breaks, “-even if that time ends today. There will never be anyone else for me.”

“Y/n…” He gets cut off again, this time by a train of people filing into the room. The nurse comes in first, towing the Chaplin you’d asked her to get behind her. Soap is next, followed along by an elderly woman pushing her wife in a wheelchair, holding a pair of wedding rings, with Price and Gaz bringing up the rear.

The room is crowded and hot, but you could care less. The next few minutes are filled with tearful laughter, condolences and congratulations exchanged in the same breath. Price, Soap, and Gaz sit with Ghost as the Chaplain gets his things ready.

You step back, giving them one final moment alone with their brother. You go thank the couple for letting you borrow their rings, and you can see the pity in their eyes as they take in the room.

You learn that the one in the wheelchair is named Margaret and the other’s named Pamela, that they met when they were 12 and 14 respectively, and got married as soon as they were both legal.

“We’re lucky,” Margaret says softly, “Not a lot of people get to be with each other as long as we do.” The words cut deep, though you know she means well, and you turn away so she can't see your tears.

“Are ya ready, little bird?” Soap gently guides you to the vacated chair by Ghosts bedside, and the chaplain begins the ceremony. Soap hands you the rings, then retreats to the side of the room, where Gaz, Price, Margaret, and Pamela watch the both of you.

“Guess I….held to…my…promise.” He chuckles weakly. You shush him, but can’t help but smile. The chaplain stands in front of you and begins to speak, the room silent save for the steady beeps of the machinery and his voice. He finishes his part and steps back, allowing you to exchange vows.

“I want you forever, Simon Riley.” You say as you slide the ring on his finger, “forever and always. Through the good, the bad, the ugly, for better or for worse, happy, sad, angry. I want you through all of it. We’ll gr…we….I will always love you, no matter the time that passes.” You are crying now, so hard you can barely see him through your tears, “I will love you, forever and always.”

He squeezes your hand weakly, his breaths coming faster and faster even as his heart rate begins to slow. His voice is low and shaky, but you can hear him all the same.

“I love you forever,” His voice breaks, “forever and always. Even if…when…I’m not…there…I’ll always…love you….forever…and al...ways.” You press a kiss to cold lips, your tears falling on his face. His hand tangles in your hair before shakily coming up to wipe your tears away.

“Watch…them…for me…Soap.” He slurs, eyes fluttering shut.

“Always.” Soap says solemnly, but you can barely hear him. You sob raggedly, digging your fingers so hard into Ghost’s hand it hurts.

“Don’t leave me Si.” You beg as his heart monitor begins to slow, “Please Si, I’m begging you, stay with me. I can’t do this without you.”

But your pleas fall on deaf ears, his hand going limp in yours. The steady beep of the machinery is replaced by a shrill scream as he flatlines. Then the nurse unplugs it, and your sobs fill the air.

You lean over him, face resting on his stomach as you sob, the gurney shaking from the force of it.

“Wake up.” You beg, “Please Simon, this isn’t funny. Please wake up.” But he doesn’t. A hand falls on your shoulder, turning you away from the body. He sinks down to be on your level, drawing you into a hug. You bury your face in the man’s neck, both of you clinging together as you mourn.

“I should have driven him home from the airport.” You sob raggedly, “I should have waited for him, I should have…should have….sh-sh-sh…”

“Breathe little bird.”

“I can-I can-I ca-an’t.”

“Yes, ye can. Breathe wit me. In, 2, 3, 4, out, 2, 3, 4.” He caresses your hair as he talks, a soothing gesture that Simon does.

Did.

“I’s no’ yer fault, little bird, ya hear me?” He makes you look him in the eyes, but the pain you see in them sets you off again.

“I’m s-so…so sorry.” you cry, “I am so sorry.”

“I’s no’ yer fault.” Sopa says, harsher this time, “He shoudnae been drivin’ th’ bike anyway. Ah know ye tol’ him tae stop.”

“He’s dead Soap, you can’t speak ill of the dead.” Your breath hitches, “He’s dead. Soap, he’s dead. He’sdeadhe’sdead’he’sdead. He’s dead and he’s not coming back. He left me.” You are sobbing almost incoherently now, “He left me, he promised he’d stay with me, he said we’d grow old together, that we’d be together, forever and always, but he left me. Heleftmeheleftmeheleftme!”

“Ah know, little bird.” He holds you to his chest as you shatter, “I know.”

#cod fanfic #angst #ghost x reader #cod x reader #no beta we die like men #cod #simon ghost riley #ghost fanfiction #dead dove do not eat #I am a masochrist #Like i actually cried writing this #I've never done that before #I'm sorry yall #john soap mactavish

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moving-asfateentertwines · 1 year

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Home

Spider was never meant to find Home

He knows that. No matter what Kiri whispers to him, what Lo’ak insists when the young warriors of the Omatikaya attempt to chase him off, or what Neteyam mumbles when Neytiri whips around with venom on her lips - he knows it, because if it were wrong, it would mean that everything that’s happened was for no reason. He can’t go that route, and so Home is just a concept he’ll never know

His siblings tempt to sway him many times over the years - they feel so much like Home it hurts, but he’s not so selfish to risk it for them when he knows he already took it from their mother

He’s seen his father in the photos the scientists don’t know he has, video logs that show a man that’s only been a horror story his whole life

But what scares him is he sees himself

He sees his eyes, the scowl when he’s angry, the cinch in his brow. He scowls at the image and sees his own face stare back.

So yeah. He doesn’t have a home. He has siblings though, and that’s more than he deserves. So Spider is okay. Really, he is.

But then his Dad shows up

—-

Quaritch is everything he thought he’d be and…not.

He’s angry. The man is full of hate and a need for revenge. He destroys the ground beneath his feet and spits on the life that’s surround them. He doesn’t know Ewya but he hates her none the less.

But he’s protective. Possessive of what’s his (and yet another damn thing he got from his father) and it seems Spider is included in that

He hates it but a part of him feels protected - it’s safe in the that’s holding a poison blade is. He’s one slip up from hell

But hell was bridgehead. It was the feeling of his deepest parts being pried out and displayed like the pages of a storybook

No one cared as they saw some of his best and his darkest days.

No one cared when the whips came out. When he bled so much he worried it was fatal

No one cared when he starved, when the distant sound of wildlife made his stomach twist with need.

Except Quaritch.

Quaritch snuck him food, bandaged his back, and pulled him down.

His hands may have delivered some of the blows or his lips produced the words to trigger nightmares but he cared.

Love is complicated, but he knows his Dad loved him

He thinks he may have too

Quaritch saw him.

He didn’t know. He thought he did but he didn’t but he wanted to he knows he did -

Then Neteyam almost dies. No one came for him. They left him, gave him up, except his brothers didn’t

Neteyam and Lo’ak fought for him.

They risked their lives when they had the chance to get away

Spider pieces his home together after that

Home finds him in the nights after when he rests with Kiri on his shoulder and Lo’ak’s hand loose in his grip. Tuk is curled into her mothers chest and Jake stands a silent guard at the door. Neteyam is flat on the bed of one of Ronal’s medical tents. His brother has been asleep for a few hours now with Norms assistance, but his family is too afraid to leave his side

He’s been awake the whole time. He hurts in ways he didn’t know he could until his capture but the warmth of his closest friends is too precious to loose right now. Still, he can’t sleep. Adrenaline is running under his skin and anxiety is inching up his throat. Jake is outside, safe and strong, but his tracker could lead the rest of the sky people here again, never mind Norms tempering, or his memories could have a clue, they had to be recorded, or -

Jake lays a large hand on his shoulder.

He jumps and a scared gasp escapes his throat before he processes the subtle differences. The thinner fingers, callouses Quaritch hasn’t had time to form yet, the gentleness.

“You need to sleep, Kiddo.”

Spider shudders and bows his head. “I will, just…can’t. I’ll go lay down in a few hours. When they’re okay.”

He can practically hear Jake roll his eyes. “I’m here. You’re safe, they’re safe. You need to sleep, Son.”

They both freeze, blood cold and eyes wide, as the silence envelops them.

Then, of course, Lo’ak snores and the moments gone. Jake laughs softly and suddenly exhaustion is pulling at his eyelids. A cushion slides behind him and a hand gently lowers him down.

“Sleep.”

The pieces come faster after that.

He cries with Kiri for hours. Laments his father, spills everything he felt. She’s the first one he tells the truth too. She knows more than he thinks anyone else ever will

He tells her Quaritch is alive. He tells her its all his fault.

She cries, yells, and then they just lay there. She tells him how scared she was of her mother. How lost she felt without him there.

He looks at her as she cries and another puzzle piece slides into place

Lo’ak and Neteyam came together when they came back for him, but it doesn’t feel settled until later.

They’re on their ilu with Spider behind Lo’ak as they race out to meet Payakan. He’s giant and beautiful and damn terrifying, but Lo’ak describes him as his soul brother. An extension of himself and a badass of a friend. They tell him how Payakan saved them. How he helped get Spider home

He’s scared and excited and now sure what to make of the beast, but then Lo’ak is leaving him on the ilu and falling into the water

He rises on a fin the size of a small marui with a loud whoop that can’t help but make Spider laugh in astonished awe

“Paya, meet my other brother, Spider.” Then a wave of water is splashing over him as Lo’ak laughs in a way he hasn’t heard since the forest

His breath leaves his lungs as he laughs and laughs, happy for more reasons than one. Neteyam meets his gaze from across the surf and smiles then one quick nod. He holds his gaze and feels the warmth spread in his chest.

“Team up?”

“Team up.”

Tuk has been his little sister since he held her in his arms for the first time. Neteyam snuck him over when they were barely into puberty and put a baby the size of his torso into his arms

He remembers her being the most terrifying thing in the world. He was so sure she would be terrified of him, that he would make her cry as soon as she was in his arms and the other kids would realize he’s a monster

But Tuk has always been Tuk and she just grinned and pulled his hair. Her Tswin fluttered with her affections and he knew he would do anything for her

He had never seen her angry, truly angry, until she stumbled into him cleaning the cuts along his hips and back. The cloths on the floor are bloody and his skin is angry and mottled but he had been decent at hiding the level of it until now. Behind her, Neytiri stops in her tracks as she takes in his scars

Tuk’s eyes fill with tears and then he has a bundle of 5’7” child in his arms

Her eyes flash and she looks like her mother when she growls out; “What happened? They hurt you?”

He stutters, not knowing what to say when Neytiri kneels down in front of him. She takes the ointment and the bandages in front of him, moves his arm from his side, and begins to apply. Her hands are shaking and he realizes he’s never seen her frazzled

“You’re a child.”

He looks up, Tuk now angrily crying in his arms while she cleans and gently bandages the wounds. “I..I know…look, I’m sorry Tuk saw, I-I didn’t think anyone was coming back for a while..”

“You’re a child. Children are precious. I-I didn’t realize they…that…” She scowls down at the drying blood and puts the wrap down. She pulls him forward so he rests against her with Tuk snug between them. “I’m sorry, Spider. This will not happen again.”

His face is red and words don’t seem to work but he manages a scared nod. “O-Okay?”

She nods, decisive, and resumes her work. Then, lifts a dirty dread with a disgruntled finger. “These next. My children will not be seen looking uncared for.”

And that’s that. He has a family, a home, and it’s all he ever wanted.

He doesn’t think it could get better.

Part two coming cause holy shit it's 2000 words

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