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quitefair · 5 months

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The Temple of Mythal and Greek Sculpture

Or: How Bioware takes from history without any nuance.

Picture this. You're me, playing Inquisition for the first time. You get to the Temple of Mythal, the doors shut behind you and you finally get to look around. It's a typical elven ruin for the game, nothing much seems different...

Hold on.

Hold the fuck on.

You know what that is.

You know what that's based on, and for a long time after it tickles you. Oh, maybe that meant something in the grander scheme of things! We've never seen such a blatant reference to a real-life sculpture anywhere else in game (to my knowledge at the time)! Maybe it'll come up later and it'll all make sense!

Here's the deal. I've been bothered by this for years. The more I think about it, the more angry I become. Anger over a single fucking type of statue, you say? There's a lot of other shit to be angry over in this game, and you choose this?

YES! I CHOOSE THIS! AND THIS IS WHY.

Picture this. You're me again, aged 14 this time. You're in the Louvre, the first museum of Western classical art you've ever been to. You've grown up in a place where this interest could only be cultivated from extra-curricular reading, and for a kid that age from my country to be ass deep in Greek and Egyptian myth is frankly lmao. Neurodivergent. Anyway.

So we're wandering around the Louvre, I've just taken my parents through the Egyptian section and given them a thorough infodump on everything I know about burial rites.

And then we enter this room. And I very nearly fall to my knees when I catch sight of her.

This is the sculpture the statues at the Temple of Mythal are based on - one Winged Victory of Samothrace.

She is a sculpture from the Hellenestic era, depicting the goddess Nike stood at the prow of a ship. Her head and both arms are missing, save one hand with two fingers (also in the Louvre but displayed separately). She was found on the Greek island of Samothrace, among the ruins of what was known as the Sanctuary of the Great Gods. It seemed like she was displayed at the top of a hill, looming down at all that regarded her.

I’ve had the absolute privilege of seeing her in person twice in my life, both before and after the 2013 restoration. And let me tell you, regardless of which staircase that leads you there, the sight of her will stop you in your tracks.

[Now with people, for scale.]

She is massive. Larger than life, and immediately is the centre of your attention. It's not the fact that she has no head, no arms. No, you will realise the closer you get to her, the more you're able to appreciate the details of this absolutely astounding piece of history.

No. It's because she feels so alive.

The way her robes drape against flesh, wet from sea-spray or rain, yet flowing with the motion of an invisible wind. The wings cast behind her dramatically as her right foot steps forward. Standing tall and proud, unflinching, unbowed against the elements. Even without her arms, you can feel how dynamic the torso and legs are.

You don't need to be an art historian, or even have any knowledge of Greek myth or art history to stand in front of her, as I once did as a young teen, and nearly be brought to tears.

So.

This brings me to the first of the two main gripes I have with the way this sculpture is used in Inquisition.

Compared to the way she's displayed in the Louvre, and also presumably how she was presented to her original audience - larger than life, looming, powerful, beautiful - she is relegated instead to smaller, repeating statues of the same nature throughout the temple.

This diminishes the purpose of the original sculpture, which was to instill a sense of awe and wonder. The singularity that forces you to focus and appreciate the scale and intricacy. The aura, the gravitas of having a single, massive sculpture of such a dynamic figure is completely gone.

And to make things worse, they Mythal-ify her. Adding a helmed head and changing her beautiful feathered wings to leathery dragon wings. They don't even add arms, which is odd because the original sculpture very clearly is missing its arms.

And, may I ask, Why?

It feels cheap, like they saw the Winged Victory and were like 'oh shit this is a cool sculpture, we should add it in game' without giving any fucking thought to what the sculpture means.

Which brings me to the second gripe. The complete disregard for the symbolism of the Winged Victory.

Detail from the Athena fountain, Parliament Building of Vienna, showing Nike the Winged Victory in the palm of Athena's hand [source]

Nike is a minor Greek deity, said to be the daughter of Pallas (a Titan) and the river Styx. Her other siblings by the same parents include Zelus (Zeal), Bia (Might) and Kratos (Strength).

Yes. That Kratos.

She was one of the earliest gods to pledge her allegiance to Zeus in the Titonomachy, and after the victory of the Olympians, Nike and the other gods that allied with them were allowed to live on Olympus. In her aspect as Victory, she is closely associated with several of the major Greek gods, and in particular, Athena.

There's also her Roman counterpart, Victoria. This version doesn't come with the backstory Nike has, but is more of a general concept of victory. This is the aspect that is present in a lot of the modern sculptures and interpretations of Nike/Victoria:

Left: Detail from the Berlin Victory Column. Right: Detail from the Victoria Memorial, London. Note the similar iconography, of a woman seemingly standing against a strong wind, fabric and cloth adhering and yet flowing against the breeze, wings outstretched.

From this, we can probably extrapolate what our beloved Winged Victory might've looked like. Here's an artist's render of one possibility:

There's some iconography we need to go through before moving on - symbols that are commonly associated with Nike/Victoria.

One is the trumpet as see in the reconstruction above, the sound and symbol of the end of war, of impending peace. Another is the laurel wreath, another Greek symbol of victory and achievement. Famously, laurel wreaths were used to crown victors of the original Olympic games.

This is another conversation entirely, but there’s a discussion to be had about the duality of Elgar’nan and Mythal, in term of vengeance and justice, and how an emotional rage versus a calculated wisdom can be compared to the difference between the two Greek gods of war – Ares and Athena.

If we can compare Mythal to Athena, in the sense of her wisdom in making difficult decisions, then it’s not a stretch to associate Mythal with the symbolism of Nike, and therefore explain the presence of statues similar to the Winged Victory in her temple.

But since Bioware absolutely did not put this in the game for anything other than the Aesthetic, there’s some problems that need to be addressed.

Mainly in the way in which these statues are scattered throughout the temple. If you wanted static, ominous statues to line the walls as your player characters explore, perhaps have like, I dunno. Less dynamic statues that you reference?

Left: Nike of Paionos, Right: Stele 1 of Las Incantadas

Or maybe instead of statues, have friezes lining the walls. Like this one from the equally iconic Pergamon altar, depicting the Giganomanchy.

It’s the same symbolism, the wings, the smiting of foes and victory of good over evil.

And then perhaps, at the heart of the temple... where, y'know Bioware, lay a body of water sacred to Mythal herself, you could've perhaps done something remarkable. You could then have had the most dramatic and beautiful entrance you’d ever seen.

[Nike, at the iconic Daru Staircase, the Louvre]

It was at this moment that Mythal walked out of the sea of the earth's tears and onto the land. She placed her hand on Elgar'nan's brow, and at her touch he grew calm and knew that his anger had led him astray. - Codex entry: Mythal: The Great Protector

Mythal herself strides out of the Well Of Sorrows, the metaphorical tears of her followers that died and kept their knowledge alive in her name. Her (draconic) wings spread out, (restored) hands outstretched to touch her husband, to calm the rage that nearly destroyed this world.

A symbol of victory against the blind rage of a god against His father, the Sun. A symbol of wisdom and grace, against the violence of hatred. A divine sense of something bigger than anything we could imagine.

There's also the lack of iconography regarding victory, instead piling on some cheap representations of what we think of as Mythal. That's another post entirely on the symbolism of the Elven gods, but if Bioware really wanted to hone in on the Athena/Athena Nike parallels, they might have thrown in the trumpet/laurel/palm leaf symbolism with the statues, alongside the dragon wings.

If this were the case, then maybe, just maybe, Inquisition would’ve then earned the use of this sculpture in the game.

Sources not listed above/Further reading if you're interested

https://www.louvre.fr/en/explore/the-palace/a-stairway-to-victory

https://www.worldhistory.org/article/1412/winged-victory-the-nike-of-samothrace/https://smarthistory.org/nike-winged-victory-of-samothrace/

https://smarthistory.org/nike-winged-victory-of-samothrace/

https://www.khanacademy.org/humanities/ancient-art-civilizations/greek-art/hellenistic/a/nike-winged-victory-of-samothrace

#da lore #da meta #mythal #temple of mythal #dragon age #da lore and meta #yo this has been simmering and brewing in my brain for like 8 years now not kidding #and im already neck deep in like..... figuring out the evanuris and trying to tie them into real world mythology and thats super fun too!!!#watch as this consumes and destroys me #my writing

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catchyhuh · 6 months

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If each of them would ever have YouTube / Tik Tok account... What would their content be?

i tried so hard to really and truly answer this but i just kept thinknf of this throughout

lupin: started as a joke but he IS having fun with it. he’s mostly just fucking around there’s like NO production quality there it’s just. viddy oe. and thats the case whether its youtube OR tiktok, either way it’s going to be quick cutesy spur of the moment junk. if he ever really went all out, he might make some kinda digital calling card (he has made video cards before to inform his targets he’s about to rob their asses lmao) but it’d be some stupid hilarious shit. like imagine those video wedding/graduation invitations with the poorly animated stock resources and generic acoustic guitar music. text slides in that says “i want that statue dumbass” (cymbal fade sfx) “so yeah i’ll be taking that” (dramatic text pan) “seeya thursday, can’t wait :)”

jigen: no profile pic no real username. just like jigen76943 with the blue j icon. NO tiktok. NO tiktok for our guy. insists lupin shouldn’t be using tiktok either as its shortening his already horrible attention span. jigen doesn’t really post videos too much, but if he does it must be something very important to him, really only uploaded so he doesn’t lose it. there’s a handful of videos from some of their vacations (whether its an intended vacation or just ‘oh shit we’re in spain. we should have fun with this’ type deal) but it’s almost all privated. he’s not really showy about stuff like that

fujiko: she had a momentary lapse of judgment when making it, because she thought, easy way to sucker in idiots and make some money off that ad revenue. but also… do you REEEALLY want the world knowing exactly where you are, what you’re doing, at any given moment? well. no. but if you heavily screen every tiny fraction of your video before even THINKING of posting it, maybe nobody will be able to tell you’re literally sitting inside the taj mahal. posted a makeup tutorial once while she was already wearing a full face of less obvious makeup just because it was funny to her to see comments insisting she was so much prettier “without makeup.” so yeah like everything else in her life she’s found a way to rig this for money and her own personal entertainment

goemon: Nay. you know i don’t personally subscribe to the “goemon cant understand ANY technology he’s so archaic teehee” philosophy, but this ain’t even about that, it’s about the fact that goemon is the only one who’s initial reaction was “you want me, a wanted criminal, tagging the people i have been around and locations i have been to? for ‘clout’????” at best he just uses jigen’s phone to watch random stuff that interests him, and like, he’s not PHYSICALLY RECOILING when fujiko tries to show him a funny tiktok, he enjoys the fun of it. but he’s not making one, and if he has anything to say about it, he will not be featured in lupin’s bullshit

zenigata: doesn’t even have his own. he’s like a background feature when (SURPRISE YATA SNEAK ATTACK) yata posts. yata will be like “wow the louvre!!! look!” and take a lil video and zenigata’s just in the background looking bored out of his mind. in the louvre. he’d never BULLY zeni into participating, but once yata becomes aware of the fact people are playing where’s waldo with his stuff, he might try to have fun with it. q&a with the inspector. share some life advice with the audience. and the whole time zenigata’s like “um. uh. don’t break the… law?” and the commenters eat it UP. zenigata thinks its stupid but he tells yata he’s doing it because yata enjoys it, and that's it. however secretly you know he’d fucking love the attention

so final verdict: unfortunately i believe all of these people would be baffled and horrified if i explained how many times i've rewatched defunctland's disney channel theme video in full. but they could have a little fun with it

#also if this is formatted strange and weird compared to the other posts um. don't tell me <3 #lupin iii #lupin the third #lupin #jigen #fujiko #goemon #zenigata #yata #asks

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oldcomplaintsrevisited · 2 years

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Bucket List

140 lbs

Run a Zombies!Run 5k

Witness a solar eclipse

B.S. in Pure Math or Physics

Earn an M.S.Ed

Road trip up the Pacific Coast Highway to Canada

Pack my bags and set off for a random location with no itinerary

Read a book on a subject you had never thought of reading

Fly a kite

Explore a cave

Read my 500th book since 2010

Visit Disneyland

Visit a dormant volcano

Be in two states at once

See the Harlem Globetrotters

Try Pho

Make s'mores while camping

Participate in a scavenger hunt

Try hookah

Pick my own strawberries at a farm

Visit an active volcano

Fly in a helicopter

Meet someone you can only dream of meeting

Visit a castle

Visit the Getty

Visit LACMA

See a Vincent van Gogh painting in person

Visit the Winchester Mystery House

Visit Alcatraz

Live in San Francisco

Explore a ghost town

Spend the night in a ghost town

Visit Montreal

Take an underground tour in Sacramento

Be a vegetarian

Be a vegan

Shave my head

Donate my hair

Attend an opera

See Wicked live

See Spring Awakening live

See Hair live

See Rent live

See American Idiot live

See Next to Normal live

See Tegan and Sara live

See a ballet

Own over 1000 books

Go to a psychic

Run a 5k race (I've organized them but haven't run one)

Run a 10k race

Visit every state in the USA (I've been to a big chunk of the states)

Visit France

Visit the Louvre

Visit Auschwitz

Visit Pompeii

Make homemade tiramisu

Make homemade baklava

Have a six-pack (I used to have one)

Go on a cruise

Find a job I truly enjoy

Read all of Remembrance of Things Past

Grow my own garden

Write a letter to myself 10 years from now

Skinny dipping

Adopt a rescue animal

Be on a parade float

Write a love letter

Bake my own bread

Witness a historic event firsthand

Donate blood

Learn to juggle 3 balls

Keep chickens

Get CPR/AED certified

Have a water balloon fight

Eat sourdough in San Francisco

Get a DNA test

Join a book club

Learn about a different religion

Learn the meaning of my name (It's "the dark one")

Start a fire without matches or a lighter

Learn French (I've forgotten much of it...)

Try throwing a lasso

Write a short story

Travel by train

Go snowboarding

Make a painting

Conquer my fear of spiders

Become legally ordained

Gamble in Vegas

Ride a red double-decker bus

Rope swing into a river

Go to a roller rink

Ride in a limousine

Visit Manzanar

Color Run

Go on a zip line

See the Grand Canyon

Go body surfing

Get a tattoo

Attend a rodeo

Feed a tiger

Volunteer at an animal shelter

Read a banned book

Feed a bear

Milk a goat

Milk a cow

Sleep in a yurt

Have a meaningful conversation with a stranger

Make a snowman

Play matchmaker

Sit ringside at an MMA match

Attend San Francisco Pride

Attend LA Pride

Attend New York Pride

Attend a murder mystery dinner

Attend a poetry reading

Cross the Golden Gate Bridge

Live in a hostel

Keep a list of all the concerts/shows I've been to

Go to a book signing

Go to a rave

Record a song

Attend a luau

Go to the Utah Shakespeare Festival

Go to a Renaissance Fair

Visit the Wizarding World of Harry Potter

Throw a themed party

Go camping

Have my makeup professionally done

Swim in the ocean

Go white water rafting

Camp on the beach

Go to Warped Tour

Write something in wet cement

Go paintballing

#bucket list #mine

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shipcestuous · 2 years

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The Dreamers by Gilbert Adair (Submission)

The Holy Innocents tells the story of the relationship of two siblings, their games and how their dynamic changes once an outsider joins them. It was inspired by Jean Cocteau's novel Les Enfants Terribles (translated to English as The Holy Terrors, which I recently acquired a copy of and plan on reading it soon so I can see how similar the two novels are). Written by Gilbert Adair, it was printed in England in hardcover and paperback between 1988 and 1989, after which it would fade into obscurity, never receiving an American release, nor a second printing. It wouldn't be until 2003 that the book would once again hit the shelves, this time, under the name of The Dreamers. This new edition had been revised by the author to coincide better with the events of the movie, also titled The Dreamers, that was released in that same year.

Given the rarity of the original edition (I've been trying for a while to buy one, but no one ships to Brazil), I have no idea of what changed between the editions. From the few information available online, I gathered that, in The Holy Innocents, the twins were called Guillaume and Danielle, which was changed to Théo and Isabelle to better reflect their movie counterparts. Matthew is still Matthew, it seems that no one cared enough about him to grant him a name change, which is fitting to his character.

The novel starts by setting the stage in which it's set: Paris, spring of 1968, where young cinephiles gather around the Cinémathèque Française. Among the group, we have Théo, his sister Isabelle and their friend Matthew. Matthew is an American student, a year older than the twins and extremely infatuated to both of them. He has a weak personality, and simply follows the lead of his friends, to whom he feels inferior to. He is also the lens through which we get to explore the world of Isabelle and Théo. As they arrive at the Cinémathèque, they discover that it has been indefinitely closed.

The next day, the trio meets for coffee and Isabelle proposes that they recreate a scene from Godard's Bande à part. Matthew protests in vain, for the twins have decided to run down the Louvre's hallways, and nothing can make them change their minds. Here we have the first glimpse of the strong bond shared by the twins; together, they are a force of nature.

"But Théo and Isabelle had established a front against him. Like every couple, in whatever manner conjoined, they formed a two-headed eagle, now pecking each other's eyes out, now foundly nuzzling each other's beaks. Two against one - or rather, two against the world - they brushed his objections aside."

They succeed breaking the movie's record of the Louvre's race and, to celebrate, Isabelle kisses Matthew, who then kisses Théo, almost as if passing on to him Isabelle's kiss. As the twins chant "one of us", in homage to Tod Browning's Freaks, Matthew is officially initiated into the group, but while he is being allowed to be close to them, he will always be an outsider, it will always be "two against one".

Théo and Isabelle invite Matthew to go have dinner at their apartment, where he meets their chaotic parents. Matthew ends up sleeping over and, when trying to find his room after a midnight trip to the bathroom, he finds Théo and Isabelle sharing a bed.

"Théo and Isabelle. Isabelle was [...] asleep on the bed, half under the covers, half on top, [...] wearing a plain white vest and white panties [...]. Beside her, Théo lay naked. [...] What made them such an extraordinary sight was that the limbs of one seemed also to belong to the other."

Matthew returns to sleep, only to wake up to a strange sight. Isabelle leaning over him on the bed, staring at his eyes. She removes the sleep out of his eyes in a strange intimacy, and states that she does the same for Théo, every morning. You heard me right, fellas: every day, Isabella climbs on top of her brother, to 'remove the sleep from his eyes'. She then states that she and Théo have a private wing in the flat and exits to go the bathroom, leaving Matthew to think, which leads into one of my favourite quotes of the novel:

"Could that be why brother and sister slept together in perfect impunity, a Romeo and Juliet star crossed not because they belonged to two families but to a single one?"

Matthew joins the siblings into the bathroom, where they are in just their undergarments, doing their morning routine. Despite being the oldest of the group, here Matthew is treated like a child, indeed, his features described as being akin to that of "a housebroken mama's boy". This is not the only instance of it, many times, it's almost as if he is the twin's baby. Further on, the narrative goes as far as to say that "it was maybe that in Matthew they had at last found a child for their incestuous cradle".

Isabelle and Théo joke about Matthew's lack of facial hair, and when he pushes back, the siblings are shocked. Isabelle questions whether he has pubic hair, causing Matthew to storm off, ready to leave. He is placated with an invitation to stay until the twin's parents return from their trip, which it seems they often do, leaving "two young people to their own devices" and giving them the consent to do whatever they please:

"Both Théo and Isabelle [...] would avail themselves of the physical and spiritual freedom vouchsafed them. [...] They needed nothing but a mutual, unconditionally offered complicity to descend to their private shades."

"The licence of the masturbator to do, inside his head, whatever he pleases with whomever he pleases for as often as he pleases, a licence that must lead to ever more extreme fantasies."

That afternoon, the game, named "Home Movies" by Isabelle, begins. One of them acts out a scene from a movie, and the other has to guess, or pay the forfeit. As the days pass and the game progresses, it culminates in Isabelle daring Théo to masturbate in front of her and Matthew. More specifically, she dares him to do in front of them what she has watched him do in front of the portrait of Gene Tierney. Once again, I emphasise: Isabella has watched, many times, her brother masturbate. Théo has no idea that she knows, but she says that his door is in front of the keyhole. She also calls him "my pet" when giving the dare. Théo resists at first, but then agrees, removing his clothes to reveal a half-hard dick… that he got from arguing with his sister on whether or not he would masturbate in front of her and their friend.

Another day, when Isabelle and Matthew fail to guess the movie that Théo enacts, he asks that the duo make love in front of him. Without hesitation, as if she often puts on strip shows to her brother, Isabelle undresses. Matthew, however, is not as keen to the idea, and attempts to run away. Théo stops him from doing so, and in an uncomfortable confrontation, Matthew confesses that he knows that the twins sleep together. This part is really awful, while I do love the book, the next scene really irks me; trigger warnings: explicit mentions of rape and sexual assault. Théo forcefully undresses his friend and Isabelle forces herself onto Matthew (but not before the book has given us a very detailed description of his "abnormally small penis"). Isabelle is shown to have experience with her hands as she "[molds] that penis with skillful hands", and is said to a virgin "because she had never made love except to her brother" (which apparently doesn't count). The three of them sleep together that night, like a "beast with three backs".

The group becomes even more reclusive, stopping going to school altogether. Food runs out, and so they steal it from grocery stores. The house becomes disorganised, the beds remain unmade, the clothes are thrown all over the floor, the bathtub, which they all use at the same time, is always overflowing. More insight is given on Isabelle's character: she reveals that she has hidden sleeping pills, so that when she decides to kill herself (it's implied that this is what she would do if her parents ever found out about her and Théo), she has a way to do it. Speaking of her relationship with her brother, she describes it as "love at first sight".

However, Théo is feeling left out, resenting Matthew's intrusion (even though he was the one to first invite Matthew to move in). He feared that he "had become his sister's lover rather than her twin" and that "the knot binding them together had been fatally slackened to include Matthew".

"If, as they once had whimsically fantasised about themselves, he and Isabelle had been mythical lovers, Romeo and Juliet, Tristan and Isolde, what were they now? A mismatched couple; or, Tristan and Juliet."

Another warning: things are about to get more disgusting, featuring another rape, with an scatological twist. The grocery stores now are alerted to their antics, so they have to resort to scavenging trash. And to eating cat food, which causes the three of them to become ill and throw up. Isabelle runs to her parents' bathroom and, as the boys race towards the other one, Théo shoves Matthew aside, making it to the toilet and leaving Matthew to throw up on the floor, whereupon he collapses. Isabelle arrives at the scene and scoops Matthew up, cleaning him like a baby. Staring at himself in the large mirror, he begins to masturbate, kissing his reflection. Théo suddenly pins Matthew onto the mirror with his body. "It was obvious that Théo meant to sodomise him". This time, the book itself calls it rape (when Isabelle forced herself on him, the book didn't directly describe it as such). Isabelle eagerly watches as "her brother's erect penis squeeze[s] between Matthew's buttocks". That night, when they sleep, it's Isabelle and Théo curled together in the bed, with Matthew on the floor, covered in drawings traced out in excrement. I'm not making this up, I swear.

Finally, the outside world breaks into their bubble, with a rock flying through the window and calling them out to the protests happening outside. Théo decides to go outside to join the mob, with Isabelle and Matthew following behind. Once more setting him apart from the twins, Matthew takes the time to shower and clean himself, something that the other two don't bother with. Or maybe it's just because he is the one covered in faeces. Matthew almost gets arrested as he tries to rescue a young protester and Théo saves him by hitting the cop with a stone and they run.

Eventually, they meet up with one of Théo's old friends and learn how much the country has changed while they were in their hideaway. It wasn't just the apartment that had plummeted into chaos, but the whole of France. The police attack the protesters again, beating up Théo. Isabelle throws all caution aside and races to help him "no longer caring to what hazards she would be exposing herself", leaving Matthew alone in the crowd. A shot rings out. Matthew falls to the ground, and the twins run towards him, cradling his head in their hands as he dies silently.

The book ends with the reopening of the Cinémathèque Française, Théo and Isabelle in the audience, crying as the song that once was the tune to Home Movies played in credits of the film. And this, dear fellas, is The Dreamers. For those wondering what happens with Théo and Isabelle, I like to think that in the end, they went back home and soon forgot Matthew, who was just an "externalised object of [their] fantasies".

#submission #the dreamers #the holy innocents #r: brosis #canon #tw: incest #commentary #noiv #nr #isabelle and theo #isabelle and theo: commentary #introduction #shipcest quotes #WOW THIS WAS AMAZING #THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR WRITING THIS!!!!

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paintmearainbow · 4 years

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What Is Love ?

Love.

Love means different things to different people. Some people say love is making your partner happy and seeing them happy makes you happy . But love, is actually a figment of our imaginations. In a way, love is selfish and makes us lose our independence. You make the other person happy to keep yourself happy, and you become dependent and vulnerable. It's a somewhat like a shared dream. And until one person decides to wakeup, and that dream, albeit fun while it lasted, becomes a living nightmare

1 YEAR AGO

For Harry and y/n; sneaking out of premiers and award shows,buying tacos and eating them at 3 AM was love. For them, love was dancing in the kitchen to Elvis and baking with each other. Love was watching horror movies in makeshift tents, snacking on caramel popcorns and cans of soda; all while making fun of Harry's "those dumb bitches" in the movie. Love was falling asleep in each others arms and reading each other books. It was dressing up as Disney characters and acting out scenes from their favourite animations. It was etheral, perfect. Almost too perfect too be true

People always said "Love will fizzle out. One of you will get bored." Harry and y/n didn't listen. They burned so fast, so bright and didn't realise that their spark too, like all blazed and sparks from lighted matches, had extinguished. One second it was burning so brightly, and the next, it was gone

..............................................................................................

"When was the last time you spoke to him ?" asked y/n's sister.

" A week ago" a distraught y/n replied. "He barely has time to even talk to me on the phone, let alone show me the sights and explore the places with him via facetime"

For a brief moment, she allowed herself to close her eyes and all the memories flashed through her eyes, like a movie roll, playing over and over agai

FLASHBACK

"Y/N !" exclaimed Harry, the golden flecks in his eyes dancing with joy. Oh how she longed to see him, feel him and be with him in real life , rather than on a screen. Yet she was eternally grateful for Harry for never making her feel left out from the tour experience, he always made sure to show her around, even if it was only on a screen, while giving tour guide commentary in a horribly fake American accent.

"You're in for a treat ! We're going to see the Louvre today. Come on an enjoy the sited with Harry's Tour Experiences"

Y/n couldn't stop laughing.

Being an art fanatic, she giving Harry detailed descriptions of the art, while all he did was turn it inti a joke. His put on accent stood out when he kept saying " Oh shucks ! Here's another painting of a few women and men fighting and eating." He termed an entire style of art; renaissance art as "men and women barely dressed fighting and eating". He made a few sly comments on how y/n would look lovely in that dress. It was so wonderful and each of these virtual trips was marked with his signature end. Going to a park, and eating the same food.

His laughter was contagious and y/n loved it. She wondered how she got so lucky, so blessed to have hazza in her life.

She never thought that this love, would eventually fizzle.

end of flashback

Now she was lucky if he spoke to her for 5 minutes. Even those 5 minutes were filled with her talking and him showing least interest in what she had to say. She doubted whether he even listened.

Today, however was a low blow. It was y/n' bday. had it been any other year. Harry would've made this day perfect. They had been together since they were 18. The first year, he bought her 18 gifts on her birthday. The subsequent year, he got her 19 and so on. He would make her breakfast in bed and wake her up with showers of kisses and a "Good Morning, Happy Birthday Darling."

Today however, at 7 PM , she was yet to have him acknowledge that it was her birthday. She was yet to have any sign of news from him at all. She illusioned herself, thinking that maybe he had interviews to attend.

Her sister, however, tired with y/n's moping, said" You're coming over with your friends to Club 22 this night or else I wont speak to you. I don't want you to spend your birthday moping around"

With great difficulty, y/n was persuaded by her friends to go clubbing. The loud music, the drinks and the dim lights were never y/n's scene. Yet, for the sake of her friends, she fixed up a smile on her face and tried to enjoy, trying her best to forget than Harry's call still hadn't come.

.......

It was 10 PM and the party was in full swing. y/n's friends were drunk, so drunk. Everyone around her was laughing, drinking and joking. Meanwhile, a new disturbing thought had settled in y/n's head. What if he got into and accident ? What if he's really sick ? She was ridden with anxiety and couldn't get Harry off her mind, until that one fateful message from Nezza, her best friend, Harry's PA, through whom they had met, sent her that message. When y/n's phone lit up and she scarmbled to see the text, hoping it was Harry, she did not know it would change her life permanently.

The text was simple. "I'm so so sorry honey; you deserve to know" It was attached with a single file of pictures.

She subconciously knew what had happened. She had seen all the signs, yet chose to ignore them, not wanting to get up from her dream. The reduced duration of phone calls ultimately leading up to a call a month, the regular excuses, coming home late, half hearted kisses, they all added up. For a split second, y/n wanted to think that it was something else; maybe harry was too drunk or had passed out in a bar.

The message to forever to download. It was so slow and painfully excruciating. It was like the calm before the storm. The slow before the fast. The light drizzle before the thunderstorm. When the picture finally loaded; her heart shattered ever so fast. The pain she felt was numbing, yet somewhere in her mind, she was gald that Harry was safe.

There was Harry, his arm around the small waist of the redhead, his fingers entwined in hers. The same fingers which ran through y/n's hair multiple times, were now woven in another's hand. She thought her heart couldnt break more.

Fate was not kind to y/n.

She swiped to see the next picture, and she wasn't sure how, or whether it was even possible, but her heart further broke. Harry was kissing her in the booth, their booth, in Alessandro's the place he had her first date with y/n.

Fate had evil plans for y/n.

Tears streaming down her face, the makeup for the night ruined, y/n looked around for her sister and friends but they were nowhere to be seen. The only thing glowing right now was her glitzy dress, the one she had been forced into. Unable to take it anymore, she ordered an uber and left.

Fate wasn't kind to y/n at all

The minute she left the club, she was blinded with lights, the flashes from the camera, and the shouts from the reporters

" How do you feel about Harry cheating on you on tour ?"

"Did you expect this ? How do you react to Harry kissing a supermodel, younger than you!"

Y/n wanted to scream, but keeping her emotions in she pushed through the sea of people, got into her uber, gave her address and broke down.

She cried and cried. The uber driver tried to ask her what was wrong but she couldn't stop crying. she wanted the pain to go away. she wanted to cry. But most of all, she wanted Harry to tell her that it wasn't true and hold her in his arms and tell her it's alright.

But it wasn't. it wasn't alright. Far from it.

The next morning after an extremly broken sleep, y/n awoke. All the event's from last night wre remembered and her eyes started to water again. She switched on her phone to see the hashtag #y/ndeservesbetter and #harryandy/nareover trending. She also so 100 missed calls, voicemails and texts from Harry but chose to ignore them.

Y/n was raised to be strong. She spent most of childhood see her mom struggle to make meets end. She had seen the worst. She was strong. She went over to the mirror and saw her reflection and realised that she looked a mess. She took 3 deep breaths, washed her face, and masked her emotions, just as she did way back in high school, before she met Harry, before he changed her.

She went down and suddenly the apartment door opened. There stood the man who she loved, the man who had broken her heart, the one who still held her heart, no matter how broken it was.

He pleaded with her to forgive him. He begged, cried, said it was a one time mistake, and he regretted it, that he loved her; but y/n turned a deaf ear to his pleas. Their love had fizzled out, and she was blinded by affection not to realise it earlier. And as the saying goes " Once a cheater, always a cheater." Y/n wasn't taking any more risks. She put on a strong facade, made up her mind and left, leaving a crying Harry on the porch.

She wasn't over him, far from it. She was so broken, yet showed no signs. She had calm expresssion, yet her thoughts were chaotic. But she knew what was best and she knew this was the right thing to do. She had to take the lessons from this experience and move on, just like her mother had taught her. Dreams end, no matter how amazing it is, no matter how much you want to hold on and live it, and this, her perfect dream, had also come to an end.

So, what is love ?

A dream ? A nightmare ? Soemthing too good to be true?

Maybe all it is, is an illusion. A fairytale. Or maybe it is the truth, because truth teaches us lessons and so does love. i guess it's one of those things which just has no answers.

author's note

AND THATS A WRAP. I DO NOT CONDONE CHEATING. it's something which definitely shouldnt be forgive . this the first ever imagine I've posted on my new tumblr. Please send feedback. Hope you enjoyed it. Reblog. What are your thoughts? i would love to hear them. Send requests for more imagines.

i should be studying but eh.

keep dreaming

ashu.

(here's a random B99 gif for no reason)

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