#IDK. idk. i know it's become like. a trend to have adhd is the issue and everything is being attributed to having it so im worried that ive | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

some27-url · 2 years

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💙💛 Masterlist 💛💙

❗️on hiatus❗️

Hey lovely readers ❤

I currently have a humongous real life workload. Husband has been putting in like 70 hours a week of studying lately and it's looking like that trend in going to hold strong for like... 9 more months. 🙃 On top of that he's started doing two 12's a week doing home hospice care.

Meanwhile I am in the middle of switching jobs and taking care of the toddler and the animals and cooking all the meals and cleaning the house AND this week I finally got hubs to break and admit that I'm gonna have to do the yard work too. (Pray for me. I'm so itchy already.)

All of this is to say that I'm! Still! Writing! It's my happy place and has become a pivotal outlet for me so I'll never completely stop... but I have no earthly idea how often I'll be posting or what it'll even be.

That said, NONE of my fics have been abandoned and none of them are dead. All will continue once we've found our footing and have a good routine that doesn't neglect anyone's needs.

Again, I love you all, I appreciate my readers and I will still be here putzing around in tumblr some if y'all wanna... idk? Be friends?? Interact?? 😗 Feel free to tag me in stuff or send asks 🥰 I'll be around!

9/4/22

UPDATE 2/23/24:

Hello! Long time no read! (Or write)

I'm tossing out a little update here just to let you guys know that I'm still around, I just hadn't really felt compelled to write for the last... year.

At first, I was just waiting. I was on a journey to being officially diagnosed ADHD and starting meds for it. It was a long LONG journey and around the time I stopped writing, I was only a couple weeks away from diagnosis. Trying to write was such a struggle and I felt like being on meds was going to allow me to write more in less time because I wouldn't have to spend 80% of my "writing" time just trying to make myself focus.

I started meds about 8 months ago, and it has been a really awesome 8 months. Really. I have done so many things I hadn't been able to do before, like do my laundry and fold it and put it away. Or like sit in a restaurant and participate in a conversation without wanting to climb under the table and cry. But what I haven't wanted to do for 8 months... was write.

I thought it was because life had gotten too busy or because my son had gotten to an age where he took up more emotional bandwidth, leaving less for me to work with at the end of the day. I really really wanted to believe that it wasn't directly because of the meds.

Then, last month, I started having some health issues that have had us a bit worried about my heart. I wore a halter monitor for a week and will be discussing the results with my doctor soon. In the meantime, the provider for my adhd meds has advised me to stop the stimulants.

I want to be clear that I'm about 98% sure that whatever is happening with my heart is minor enough that we shouldn't be too worried. Stopping the meds was out of caution, and that paired with some other lifestyle changes has me having less symptoms already.

I've brought it up because I wanted y'all to know that I'm a week off of adderall and... I can't stop thinking about my stories. I'm really really feeling the push to write again and I think you'll be hearing from me soon. Soonish. Whether or not I can take my meds again in the future remains to be seen, but if I do get the green light I will be taking them differently than I was before to make room for ALL the things I want in life, not just the "productive" ones.

Hope you're all well. Sorry to have left you hanging for so long. 🥰

{profile pic}

Personal Tag * Illusions/Inclusions * Leonora Jean Arnold * Elanor Blysse Green * Hands in the Sand * Tag Games * writing playlist

Fics: [+ = unfinished]

Illusions Series+ : RJ MacCready/f!SoSu

-Illusions

-Inclusions

Deacon/Whisper/Raider/Vaultie/Bunny Series+ : Deacon/f!SoSu

-Bunny Dear

-Earn It

-Tit for Tat

-Tune Up

Unashamed : Boone/f!Courier oneshot

Secure : Boone/f!Courier ficlet

Hands in the Sand+ : MacCready/f!sosu soulmate AU

[all fics are explicit]

[MINORS DNI]

#fo4 fanfic #fo4 #writing #fallout 4 #fallout 4 fanfiction #rj maccready #deacon

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bagilgulhaze · 2 years

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Not everyone has to have autism or adhd is one of the weakest takes I'm ever gonna have but I still need to say it

As someone who grew up with adhd and has autistic loved ones I know this could be really harmful take.

Also do not confuse this for stance against self diagnosis. Many of my friends have been subjected to awful medical care in theirs lives being unrecognized and diagnosed wrongfully all together for various reasons. It is also simply that my issue has always been about the way ADHD is being diagnosed so freely WITHIN professional settings.

It's just.... you cannot ignore the.mature of internet trends. And I think it has wonderful consequences to that things are being talked about (autism awareness helped close people to me that were diagnosed at early age and then have it discarded acknowledge their autism in healing and wonderful ways. My 15 y o cousin was diagnosed since childhood as autistic and when old enough to be told- denounced it. He is a tiktok trans&bi kid and I hope by osmosis he will encounter autism positivity and have similar experience). But... it Does have harmful repercussions. It existed with adhd in psychiatric context and now moved to autism- but treating yourself from a wrong angle can actually interrupt. My roommate with ocd once talked to a friend with autism about their shared symptoms, and how one thing that was bad for the former was healthy for the latter.

And that's just between neurodicergencies ... sometimes it also stops us from addressing sociological problems. Not every kid has adhd, but long hour school systems that arenr build for child's needs would make most kids agitated. Being lgbt makes you alienated and different even if you DONT also have autism, on grounds of it being othering socially sometimes even in subtle ways. Like there are just ! Lots of things! And it's this paradox of people feeling the need to diagnose themselves to justify their slightly different existence due to numerous factors while autism/adhd arent even accepted enough that it actually helps. It becomes simultaneously trendy in certain circles but doesnt even help outside of them. Honestly I could find common things with most of my friends that have a certain symptom of mental illness or neurodivergency the human experience is vast but still not that different, were same creatures.

Idk maybe growing up with adhd in a way that shaped my life so thoroughly leads me.to just be bitter and gatekeepy. Idk if I'm in the right here. Maybe it is not about the kids popping pills that wont necessarily help the core of their issues due to misdiagnosis and it is about my own prejudice

.I dont know..also not pointing at a person in particular or asking you to start 'suspecting"... I'm just pointing out autism and.adhd became trendy topics, and maybe there are issues to it. Maybe I'm biased.

#dont rbbb #or.cance me pls #i have rly severe adhd that truly fucked my life up maybei am bitter but i am.like distionary for adhd

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scoutpologist · 2 years

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it’s completely okay to enjoy media the way you want to but the dream smp fandom is, i hate to say it, one of the worst fandoms i’ve ever been in for genuinely exploring characters and their personalities/cores and carson made a good case as to why.

i couldn’t tell you why the fandom culture is like this, and i’m not saying i’m immune to this (i am so far from immune to it) but there’s this weird fucking tendency to sort of soften characters into good people when they. aren’t. and carson pointed this out, a LOTTT of c!tommy content softens him and victimizes him so much he loses all of his interest. he’s a fucking asshole. c!tommy is not perfect, he is not soft, he is not gentle, and he never was. and portraying him like that so often that we get upset when he’s not portrayed like that in canon is a huge fucking problem because it makes it that much harder for tommy to stay true to his character and for other people to do lore that involves him. (also the weird “tommy-centric” thing where any content tommy so much as touches just becomes saturated with him. yeah i don’t like it and it’s upsetting to see that it’s leaked over to other fandoms adjacent to ours.)

i’ve also noticed a trend among wilburians to like. sort of sand away c!wilbur’s sharp edges, in fashion similar to what i’ve seen some inniters do with c!tommy. and i used to just ignore it but it’s starting to REALLY get to me a bit now. because i love c!wilbur because of the horrible fucked up bad things he did. that’s why i love him. i love him BECAUSE he blew up l’manberg and i love him because he will not apologize for that. and i will defend him to the death yes but also i think we should be allowed to acknowledge that this character is violent and prone to horrible fits of anger and is actively destructive. and not only acknowledge that but love that, because it’s fun to watch. he’s not real guys. he’s not real. he does not have to strive for morality. in fact he shouldn’t be perfectly moral because that’s fucking boring and i hate it.

please don’t get me wrong and think anyone who likes c!tommy is bad or that the whole fandom sucks or that everyone but me is wrong. cause like that’s not true. but this is something that’s actively driving me away from the fandom, i’m gonna be honest. i haven’t ever felt this miserable in a fandom, i don’t think.

i think a lot of the problem with the way the dream smp fandom treats it’s characters is that we’re all projecting very fucking hard and have deep bias for the characters and so take it personally when bad things happen to them and that’s like... that’s bad. it’s not bad to care about things. but caring about art so badly and attaching ourselves to characters so much that it restricts artistic freedom in that way is bad. it’s a sign to step back.

i know a LOT of us are autistic or have adhd and some of us have other attachment/mental health issues on top of that. and that complicates things, obviously. but please like. idk. be mindful and try to cultivate a healthy relationship to fiction and also be aware that while death of the author is a very very real concept, it doesn’t mean that mischaracterization is valid.

#op #fandom crit #discourse #I'M. KINDA RAMBLING AND MAKING NO SENSE :( BUT TAKE THIS

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imagining-in-the-margins · 2 years

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Hi Pom💙 This is kind of a weird thing to ask and if you don’t wanna answer I completely understand.

What was your experience with getting diagnosed with autism? Was it hard, did you get diagnosed late, or misdiagnosed? The reason I’m asking is because I’ve been suspecting I have another neurodivergency besides dyslexia (most likely autism and/or ADHD). According to my mom, when I was getting diagnosed, the lady or whoever was diagnosing me said that I didn’t have autism (and my best guess is that they said I didn’t have anything else) but I have a really hard time believing that. I show a lot of traits that do with both experiences (hyper fixation, picky eating, eye contact issues, stimming, the list could probably go on) and it’s hard to believe I don’t have at least one. I know that autism and ADHD is harder to detect in women and I also heard about something called “masking” (which I’m pretty sure I do) so maybe that’s why? Or maybe I’m just a alltistic trying too hard to figure out what’s wrong with myself, idk. I want to talk to a therapist about it but 1) it’s kind of hard to talk to my mom about that stuff and 2) I’m pretty sure she’s ableist and would specifically tell me and my siblings not to do things in fear of people thinking there was “something wrong with us.” I try to talk to my friends about it but ofc, there neurotypical-selves water it down to “everyone does that” or “I do that” or something to ignore my feelings (not shocking bc they don’t like to hear about the things I’m interested either way and I usually don’t tell them because I feel like I’m always annoying them). Anyways, thank you for reading my half question/half rant thing💞. - 💌

Hey friend! I actually get this question more often than people probably think, lol. Unfortunately, my answer is a bit disappointing for many because I went through this process when I was a toddler. I wasn't late diagnosed, I've known since I was a child that I had a moderate developmental delay that was — not much later — labeled Autism. That being said, I have general advice and things to consider.

I think it's great to explore yourself and self-reflect to learn more about who you are and what identities you might possess. However, there is also a tendency as of late to conflate basically all neurodivergency together (not by you, but I'm afraid about the misinformation I see running rampant about what qualifies as an "Neurodivergent" trait). This becomes a problem because there are a few defining traits and features of each disorder, and it's virtually impossible for the person experiencing them to be able to distinguish most of them.

Also unfortunate is that most (good) psychiatrists will require testimony from your young childhood in order to establish a diagnosis. A lot of the distinguishing characteristics are most prevalent in the years you won't remember, which is why late diagnosis is so difficult. This means that, if your mother is unwilling to testify truthfully, a formal diagnosis is going to be a steep uphill battle for you. An expert and a family member are typically needed for a diagnosis, which leads me to my second and most important point.

Consider why you want a formal diagnosis. I've noticed a horribly unsettling trend where people are dramatically underestimating how much that piece of paper can affect your life. Your reliability, your parenting ability, your driving ability, your ability to get a job, your success in academia, your ability to immigrate to other countries, can all be affected by a formal diagnosis.

Autism, unlike more mainstream disorders like ADHD and Dyslexia (both with rich communities and unique struggles), is heavily stigmatized. You have a much higher risk of discrimination than the others. I don’t say this to be all oppression Olympics, but because it’s very important to consider whether you want to open yourself up to that specific brand of abuse.

It sounds to me like you feel that your environment would not welcome a diagnosis even if you had one. I am here to assure you that if you feel that way, it’s unfortunately probably true. That piece of paper does absolutely nothing to make people suddenly start caring or wanting to help you. In my experience, it’s usually just handing them another weapon to use against you.

The sad, upsetting reality is that people who don't believe won't ever believe you, no matter who else agrees with you. And I'm really sorry they are like that. You deserve better. You deserve people who care about your comfort. But I worry that people who seek out a late diagnosis for their own peace of mind are opening themselves up to more harm than they are anticipating.

For these reasons, I tend to only suggest people get a diagnosis if they need formal accommodations. For me, I needed a diagnosis because I was being put in SpEd, I was non-speaking for a decent amount of time, and I needed speech therapy when I did start speaking. As soon as I stopped needing accommodations, my family stopped telling people. Most people in my life have figured it out themselves or just write off my behavior as "quirky" or "odd."

As for masking, I think that's something that is essentially impossible for you to know if you're doing it (well). The idea that any disorder is "unique" for a specific gender has also been mostly debunked, because it's really just whether or not the symptomology is aligned with societal expectations, rather than actually presenting differently. Further, there are men who will present with the "female" Autism (now usually referred to as "atypical" autism). It is, after all, a wide spectrum.

At the end of the day, I believe self-diagnosis is acceptable, and probably the best option for many people. It takes years of self-reflection, investigation into your own childhood, and a lot of trial and error. That being said, I also don't think its necessary to live a full, comfortable life. If you find things people suggest for XYZ disorder help you, then by all means, DO IT. It doesn't matter if you have a pathology or not. Be friends with autistic people if it makes you happier. Enjoy and engage with the community if you want to! Accommodations and advocacy help everyone.

If you want to talk about it more, feel free to message me. Otherwise, I probably won't answer much else here because it's remarkably hard to discuss this stuff generally. Also, I don't know you so I can't really help without a lot more information. Neurotype really is unique to every individual person, and there actually is something to the idea that anyone can have traits from any neurodivergent condition without having a pathology. Most autistic traits are seen in neurotypicals to some degree, but that doesn't make them Autistic.

But again, regardless of pathology or neurotype, you deserve to be comfortable, and you deserve to have the conditions necessary to thrive. That's the most important thing to know. You don't need a psychiatrist for that to be true. I hope you find your answers and some peace ❤️

#answer #answered

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getreadytosmash · 3 years

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Small smash headcanons I was thinking of and to put out my reboot designs

Skaar

Skaar took a more gladiator look from his time on Sakaar and no longer wears the loin cloth except for when he's on off days

His hair gets to around his upper back and often tends to be in buns and ponytails

Working on his reading and writing and gets help from Hulk and goes to the Xavier Institute for sessions with his mind control and memories

Got introduced to queer stuff by Rick and he was THRILLED to find out about this stuff and the footage of Skaar carefully picking out non binary, asexual and panromantic stuff was trending for a month

Yes I'm going into pridecanons a little more

Skaar's very happy with his own feelings of being nb. The rocks below him whisper about it always being fine and he doesn't need to care about what others say anyway. Not when they're too busy calling him a monster to care about his gender

Anyway. Skaar's sex neutral and I say this because its quite often the theory that all ace folks won't have kids blah blah but??? Some aces want sex to have kids and that's Skaar.

Ridiculously good sword fighter and often meets up with Nightcrawler and Shadowcat to have sword fights and compare tricks

Lots of whipping scars on his back and some around his mouth that hardly anyone knows are from

Has a matching scar with Red of a circle on the back of his neck as well as running lighting scars up his hands and feet with Rick, Red and Jen from where the Skrulls tried to harvest their gamma

Absolutely has the tattoo and has no clue about it

Occasionally has days where he can't remember the entire event and Skaar's become rather thankful that they can rely on Rick's cameras to guide him home if needed.

Adores the Savage Lands and is best friends with Kazaar and Zabu

Sometimes copies memes from Rick and it’s terrible

Likes having Jen help him with normal stuff, especially when she helps him learn stuff like reading and writing

Rick

Yeah, can’t feel anything and that causes a few secret depression episodes aha

Big on other sensory stuff now. Really likes to savour sights, sounds, taste and smells since he lacks a big ass part of it now. It really isn’t that uncommon for Rick to have a low of flowers within his bedroom and shit.

Has to file down his spikes since they keep growing and often Hulk does it for him while Rick falls asleep

Rick needs a lot more protein now and often eats eggs or fish and gets into big fights with Red over it daily

Uses a stylish for everything since his fingers don’t work on touchscreens anymore

Often wears sleeveless jackets with different pins. Owns four of them with three of them entirely dedicated to alien, mutant and bi rights

Well known Youtuber and I really need to get around to writing some videos he’s done god someone remind me to put out that shit

Hardcore gamer and still screams at Samuel to help make a dating sim come oN-

Can hold his breath for an hour and a half and didn’t realise until he fell asleep in the bath and got woken up by Hulk panicking and tossing him out of the water

Very intent on mutant rights and often helps out with teenage mutants and raising the social status of the school

Loves bi culture and is very defensive over aspects of his identity after years of feeling lost among the orphanages

Has gotten more comfortable with his gender since he’s been wearing kilts and skirts for almost two years now

Used to have scars across his hands and thighs from years of canings from the nuns but now has a large cracked scar across his chest after Abomination ripped his shell off

Red unintentionally fathers him and blames Hulk

Best pals with Jen and Betty and is the only one who gets to join them on Ladies Night with Lyra and Marlo

Stands on his tip toes when talking to Hulk often because he wants to be tall and it amuses Hulk to no end

Jen

Has a lot of different costumes she changes regularly and Rick always posts a vote on “What outfit has Jen got this week?”

Freckles and curly hair galore

Hulk paints her nails and she does the same for him and it isn’t long before Skaar joins in

Works in New York but stays at Vista Verde for her time off

Yes i do want a all female gamma mutate team and yes they are A-force

They consist of Jen, Betty, Lyra, Carmilla and Marlo but are sometimes joined by other female heroes

Wears sweatband wrists, left one is the bi flag and the right one is the trans flag

Was afraid about being open towards loving women for a few years since Jen knew her father didn’t do anything about Bruce’s abuse, what would happen to her if Brian found out she liked more than boys? Came out after hulking out and is happier than ever

The same goes for being trans since Jen’s form is based heavily on her mentality of her body. Gamma gave Jen the body she wanted and she was SO pleased with it

tbh I do imagine she was more comic/noodle armed at the start since Jen wanted to look rather feminine but over time she’s gotten more comfortable with her body and idea of who she wants to be and slowly she got beefier

Has two wardrobes at the base and makes Red help rearrange stuff for laughs

Pals with Samuel and often enjoys sitting around and dragging him out for shopping and starbucks while discussing cases

The one who appears in Rick’s youtube videos the most

Can never finish a book and feels deep seeded adhd guilt

Sings outloud to every thing she hears

Likes grape flavoured stuff and she is so thankful that she can’t die for that sin

BEST pals with Betty and Rick. Like. There’s a reason my “Betty is the OG Hulk and is a lil wlw with Jen” has happened honestly

Has vitiligo patches of grey around her arms that were left over from her more traumatic transformations

Watches Red bake if she’s having a panic attack and the videos don’t help

Red

Has a lot of scars over his body from where Ghost Rider’s chain dug into him and left him burnt. idk seems really fucking cool

Like Jen, has yellow patches along his spine and hands from where he was joined mentally with Zzzax

Still gets nightmares about said incident and is still scared for the day that a nightmare is actually happening

Started to bake because it helps from when he couldn’t control his heat powers or during ptsd attacks

Tends to get lost in work alongside Samuel, especially if they’re overly excited about a certain idea

Hulk fondly calls him a nerd for this exact reason and Red tackles him over it to this day

Tech reacts to him badly sometimes due to his possession issues and there’s been once or twice where he’s had some...odd experiences when it’s come to certain technology or alien tech

Stays the same mostly with his outfits but occasionally wears a leather jacket and fuck it takes his shirt off a lot he’s a dilf he can do that

The one who crouches for humans the most and it isn’t uncommon for him to do it purely to unsettle the humans. Ass

Uh. Likes women but??? Sometimes there’s an annoying guy and shit being able to be easily suplexed now means that anyone who can do it can kinda catch his eyes and he fucked a demon- uh. Red has a lot of thoughts now about dating and it’s nerve-wracking

Still does missions with his Thunderbolt team and still hangs out with Hell’s Circle team when he met others that had been dragged down to hell as well

Gets courted by vampires and hates the fact that the others laugh at it

Gets nightmares of crashing, of electric burning him away but doesn’t want to admit to the fact that he has some ptsd

Not really Red but fuck it Betty has her own team and I’m shifting the Gamma Corps for Betty so her team involves; Betty (Harpy), Marlo (Sirin), Clay (Hulkverine), Lyra (Athen), Carmilla (Scorpion) and Gwen (Daydream)

Right. Uh. So for those who don’t know who Daydream are, basically the writer at this time had been going through a bad divorce and he treated Betty like SHIT which involved breaking Bretty up before they could have a child, making Betty suffer a miscarriage, killing her and having the villain Nightmare raping her in her sleep and having Betty give birth to Daydream who appeared for one arc and was never seen again. So. I’m mad.

anyway fuck him but I did like Daydream so instead she was an experiment from gamma base as a unique weapon that got used to infiltrate the Agents sleep but was later on rescued along with the rest of the gamma experiments. Got adopted by Betty when she found out Gwen had her DNA and went “oh worm?” to getting a baby i have more thoughts about this but u know. carry on.

Hulk

So Tired. Part time team leader and Avengers and even has his many own adventures of trying to help so many people out

I imagine he has a lot of the same issues as Steven in suf where Hulk often stresses out more about not being able to help people since he worries about the worst case scenarios

Gets forced to take days off by each of the team and appreciates it but dear god if he doesn’t get anxiety about the whole situation every time

SomeTIMES he wears a blue shirt but only sometimes and that’s if he’s actually prepared for missions. Also has boots Red got him but Hulk keeps those clean and safe instead

Team dad for a reason. Fathers anything he can get his hands on and well known for it enough that Rick and Skaar get him something for fathers day every year and Jen gets him goofy ties because she KNOWS he doesn’t throw them out

Pretty relaxed about being pan and yes he makes jokes about being attracted to kitchenware he’s THAT terrible Rick wants to die and not come back pls

Buys a lot of pride stuff for the others. Skaar owns so many nb and ace colour chalks he needs help

Really wants to own a guinea pig but he’s worried about scaring it or not being around all that often to take care of it properly

Falls asleep through almost every movie that he usually starts one half of it one day and finishes it the next day

Meets up with Ben Grimm and Logan Howlett every Wednesday for a night out. Usually they do bowling, play cards or go out to eat. It’s isn’t uncommon for other heroes like Spidey or Gambit to join them occasionally

Has business lunches with Betty to discuss movements of gamma mutates that turns into a fun brawl because they’re immortal children

Keeps a whiteboard in his room so that he can have arguments with Joe and Bruce.

Samuel

Keeps his outfit relatively the same but adjusts it slightly so it isn’t the exact same outfit he wears back when he was evil

Tends to cover up more after he gains a power that lets him control people just by touch

Aware of this power and thus often awkwardly flitters when someone near him might be upset and keeps spare gloves or arm sleeves on hard just in case

Has the sharpest teeth of all the hulks and actually tends to file them down so he doesn’t need to “scare people off” when in reality he’s self conscious about his teeth and the fact that he keeps biting his tongue by accident

Buys and redesigns Icarus’s cage every other month to make it more elaborate, is currently fighting the constant urge to buy more rats for this reason

Demiboy! Fine with what he is, doesn’t give a shit. He rules hell and he’ll send you there if you argue with him so who the fuck cares if Samuel wears dresses and makeup?

Big stupid bi. Cannonly into women who are more powerful than him with examples being Rikki (Aka Brilliance, a female Leader) who kicked his ass and threw him across the room with her more advanced mind, Betty Ross...who can blame him, and lately is that one scientist in Hulkverine who Samuel literally fell for within one night sksksk

Big manipulator for people he cares about. Samuel has and will make elaborate plans to keep someone he cares about safe and is more than willing to kill anyone who has hurt his loved ones

Owns a large collection of nail polishes and tends to vary them when he’s bored and creates amazing art. Red watched Samuel once spend and hour re-creating all of Van Gogh’s paintings on his nails

Really good friends with Betty surprisingly, mostly because she can make jokes about being dead and he’ll just snort and go “same”

Has the second best sense of smell after Skaar as he can smell early signs of sickness as well as a wider range of emotions

Info dumps so much and has long winded theories about the oddest things that resonate really well on the Youtube channel

talks to his oversized rat so seriously

Suffers nightmares and currently runs the Down Below and is so tired

Has actually died from exhaustion twice already

Has large sockets in his back due to the fact that Samuel physically cannot hold the information he knows all the time and uses it to charge his phone

Still hangs out with villains like Loki and Mystique tho

#Headcanon #found in body lost in mind (Skaar)#movie star (Rick)#green goddess (Jen)#one man army (Red)#the loneliest there is (Hulk)#he swims in a sea of regret (Leader)#hate and love are both red (Betty)

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juiceastronaut · 3 years

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Okay so mostly just rambling, maybe hoping for a response because I'm just stumped about this. I'll try a read more tag.

My therapist recommends me to go get a psych evaluation so I'm like okay I go get one done

I sit down and I tell this guy "Hey I think I have ADHD, but I know I have anxiety. I am open to hearing other diagnoses but those are the ones I think I have"

So he makes me go through this questionnaire and I complete it (took two times going in cause I didn't have time). When I finally go in and talk about my results, I have:

Tested Positive for Bipolar, have a score that makes it "probable" that I have ADD/ADHD, but overall he did not diagnose me with any of that, and says that my psychological distress is due to a "Thought Disorder." And that there could be multiple causes of a thought disorder that we could get to the bottom of. He sort of just states these to me and opens the meeting with that. I had thought we'd discuss the questionnaire and maybe reach a diagnosis at the end of the session but ig not.

He seemed surprised I didn't try to actively contest it, but I don't know what I have that's why you're here? So I asked for more information about the symptoms and he's like "well I can't list them all right now" but why wouldn't you read up on the disorder youre giving your client that youre meeting? So he prints out an article and I do my own reading.

Every article I read listed Thought Disorder as a comorbid/parallel diagnosis with schizophrenia. I have not once said anything about hallucinations or anything like that. There's a handful of symptoms that sort of match me but it doesn't make any sense that I have this thing that's attached to schizophrenia. I severely doubt I have schizophrenia. I doubt that I have bipolar but I apparently tested "positive" for it whatever that means because he didn't diagnosis me with it.

Oh, and on top of all that "Thought Disorder" is listed to be the "most difficult disorders to diagnose and to treat" so this guy would've met me for less than five total hours and he's going to diagnose me with one of the most difficult to diagnose disorders? To me that makes no sense.

I just feel so frustrated. I'm trying to get help psychologically and it seems everywhere I turn there's something not fitting, not going right. I'm wondering if I'm doing something wrong, if it's my fault somehow. And it's an extra blow because this is the field I want to go into. It's like a person dreaming of becoming a chef and having food poisoning at every restaurant they go to. I know I need to find a person that'll fit for me but it really seems like I'm running out of options.

I thought I'd at least be able to say "I have x" so I can conceptualize to other people what's wrong without the imposter syndrome of saying I had something without being diagnosed. But this feels even more confusing than where I was before. Idk if it's confirmation bias but I feel like I go into the ADD/ADHD tags the symptoms make sense to me and I feel like they apply to me. I don't get that with "thought disorder"

It's listed mostly as a communication issue, and as I said sometimes I blank or stall or not make sense with what I'm trying to say but it's not all the time certainly. Plus I think I overall have an okay time relaying what I mean to people. So it double doesn't make sense to have a disorder that directly impeded with that.

It just seems to me he didn't want to diagnose me with add/adhd and grabbed at the first slightly plausible thing to diagnose me with instead. Is there a big trend with add/adhd being misdiagnosed as thought disorder? I know it's misdiagnoses in general but I thought that now I'm an adult it would be diagnosed accurately. Or maybe I am crazy and I'm just making it all up in my head.

#personal #adhd #add #anxiety #thought disorder #psychologist #therapy #please don't reblog this #you can reply or send me an ask tho #focusing on it probably isn't helping but whatever #i just feel like im at the point that I'm going to be like this forever and there's no hope for me

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gaymingbinosaur · 3 years

Text

@sexyshoelessgodofwar wanted the five for each letter of this

A5- Their most impressive talent

their art

B5 What is their weight

190 mainly muscle

C5 Who is the best at comforting them

Either Evie or Dorian. Evie because sister and Dorian has similiar family issues so he understands her a bit

D5 Do they like makeup/nail beauty trends

She’s indifferent. She doesn’t really like wearing make up because it’s too much effort and never really got interested in fashion.

E5 do they portray their personality intentionally or let people figure it out on their own?

She tends to try and be the best version of herself around people and try not to make any mistakes because she’s worry they will end up hating her. Idk if that answered the question or not. Some reason the way it’s worded is making my brain go ?

F5 5. do they go out a lot?

No crowds make her nervous and she finds it exhausting and a bit draining.

G5: what parts of others do they envy? Everything. But more specific probably how people tend to be more comfortable in their own skin and their ability to communicate without crashing and burning.

H5 do they have a favorite winter activity?

Covering up in millions of warm blankets and hibernating to spring because she hates the cold. Besides that she likes building snowmen.

I5 how long would/did it take for them to come out?

Parents- Never they suck

Evie- Right after Evie told her she’s bi. So after Haven. They were both thrilled.

Cullen- a day after their first kiss. She figures they are dating and she probably should tell him. He takes it well though he had to calm her down because she was a bit a nervous.

Cassandra: They shared cheesy romance books together and Nichole gushes about both love interests when she’s done. Cass figures it out herself.

Blackwall: After him and Evie got married. He takes it well, he has a soft spot for his sister in law. He thinks she’s sweet and has a lot of respect for her.

Iron Bull: Knew the whole time and Nichole was aware of that fact and he was aware that she knows. He tries to hook her up with people until she formed a crush on Cullen then he tries to get her to ask Cullen out.

Vivienne: After Vivienne decides she should try to help Nichole’s self confidence. Nichole opened up a lot to her and after talking about her parents and wondering how they would react. Mainly to herself. Vivienne kind kf goes you can tell them but they ain’t worth.

Dorian after he meets up his dad. She told him that she’s bi and her parents poor treatment of her, kind of formed a sibling bond after.

Solas- She mentions it while they were painting the walls of Skyhold during it’s repairs.

Sera- Never told, Sera was always closer to Evie. They didn’t interact much

Varric: kind of figured it out after Dorian but she ends up telling him when her parents came to visit

Cole: Cole Just knows and tries to help her with it. Emotionally

Lelianna: found out while she was digging around for info that there was rumors she was a lesbian. Lelianna asked and found out she’s bi. And she asked to tell Josephine to protect her. Is bi too, so there is no problems there.

Josephine: takes it well and becomes a bit of a protective bigger sister. Since bi nobles stick together

J5 what makes them happy

friends,chocolate, cheesy romance

K5 who would be happy they died, anyone?

I think most people wouldn’t really care or be heartbroken. Maybe her sisters enemies since Evie is inquisitor.

L5 what is their favorite food?

Chocolate

M5 would they adopt

yes

N5 have they done anything they thought they’d never do?

Leave home and cutting herself off from her parents

O5 Were they always Optimistic

She’s always been cheerful but she’s not super optmistic. Like until recently she thought she when she dies no one will give a shit.

P5 do they hate anything about their personality/about other’s personalities?

She hates how anxious she is and her social skills

Q5 are they curious?

yes

R5 do they find any rules they/others follow absolutely ridiculous?

The circles, she has personal issue with taking her sister away

S5 are they cautious when out?

Yes

T5 have they told truths that have been spread against their will?

U5 have they surprised people with being good at something?

their art, Solas absolutley loves looking at her drawings

V5 do they burp, cough, or hiccup most when nauseous? when vomiting?

cough

W5 can they swim without holding their nose?

yes

X5 can they rap?

Y5 what’s your favorite thing about them?

Probably that I can vent my anxiety and adhd issues on her. But if I had to pick something else how kind she tries to be despite everything

Z5 do they have any pets at the moment? She has a mabari with Cullen. Not counting that no, but she’d love some

#dragon age #long post #ocs #abuse mention #vomit tw

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