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#IM SORRY but I've been anxious about this for 3 days

tupperwaretub · 1 year

Note

im not sure if you do or not but if you write for dieter can you do a sub!dieter bravo x male reader?? tysm! <3

Opposites Attract

Pairing:

Sub!bottom!Dieter Bravo x dom!top!(model)male!reader

(a/n): tysm for the request! You're my first ever request so i got to writing this as soon as I saw it, i hope you enjoy! And sorry for the wait I've been pretty unmotivated.

Warnings: rough smut (handcuffs, blindfolding, light choking), loud sex, lots of hickeys, desperate/needy sex, 'sir' kink, dirty talk.

Summary: You're a model who got most of your fame from modelling underwear , so when you were cast for Cliff Beasts 6 you were shocked to say the least - and not entirely happy about the quarantining but you come to find its not all bad...

_____________________________

Finally it was the last day of your quarantine, later that evening you were able to go down to the bar and see people, you were pretty damn anxious, you hadn't seen anyone other than Gunther in two weeks. You also hadn't done a whole lot other than masturbate for two weeks... But you were still ecstatic obviously.

You were quick to shower, brush your teeth and get into the nicest button down you brought with you - you were new to the cliff beast movies having only just watched them in your quarantine with nothing better to do, they were god awful but the pay was alright so you decided complaining can wait until later.

When the time finally came when you were allowed out of your room you jumped up off of your bed you were sitting and quickly left your room, even the Hallway was refreshing. You made you way down to the bar, the hotel you were in was astonishing and you were so happy to finally be able to take in your surroundings.

You were one of the first people to arrive at the bar there was really just Gunther, Bola and someone sat on a chair in the corner - he was quite scruffy so you assumed he must be part of the cast having just come out of quarantine, you did notice he wasn't wearing very clean clothes and had glasses on indoors but ignored it wanting to make the best impression possible.

"hey there I'm y/n" you say walking up to him with a wide smile. He takes a while to finally look up at you seemingly not having the energy to be here. When he saw who you were he seemed shocked "you uh- do- modelling right?" He asks.

"yeah! I've done modelling for quite a few big brands!" You go on rambling about the different designer brands you've worked with. "You're really hot." The scruffy man Infront of you blurts out. You blush at his forward remark, you're not entirely weirded out, you're more flattered than anything. As a model you've usually been told you're not good enough for certain brands but to be told someone thinks you're hot to your face and not just on some thirst thread on twitter, it made you feel warm inside. "O-oh thanks, so..... Your name?" You ask still quite flustered. "Dieter." He stands up and is eye level with you, you can feel him staring at your features through his sunglasses.

"so, Dieter. What's with the sunglasses?" You ask trying to make some conversation. He quickly blurts out an 'oh!' and takes them off, he had really beautiful eyes... Suddenly the silence builds again and tension is high, it doesn't feel like anger or hate or anything relatively awkward but more sexual. You found Dieter really endearing, you were thinking about inviting him to your room but decided against it because you'd only just met he'd surely not want to go that far with you after just meeting-

"do you want to have sex with me?" He asks breaking your train of thought. You bit your lip and considered for a moment, if you want to have sex with him... And he wants to have sex with you... "Yes." You say quickly as you grabbed his wrist and started quickly directing him up to your room, everyone else can wait you hadn't been inside someone in so long. You were pretty desperate.

As soon as your door closed you had him pinned against it kissing him hungry for any sort of physical contact. Dieter kissing back with just as much hunger had your already hard cock twitching inside your pants. You pulled off his shirt and chucked it to the floor not caring as to where it would end up, your hands slowly were slowly caressing Dieters sides as you both slowly moved towards the bed.

You pushed him down gently so he was sitting infront of you and he quickly starting fumbling with your zipper. You grabbed the sides of his face and directed him to look at you "wait, wait." He looked at you in confusion. "I gotta ask. Is there anything you aren't into? Anything you want me to avoid?" You only ask because you were aware not many people were really into the same stuff as you. "No, no, I'll do anything with you." His hands were resting beside your bulge causing you to sigh as you tried to stifle your moan.

You stepped away for just a moment and reached into your suitcase you had been living out of, you reached in and pulled out a pair of pink fluffy handcuffs and a tie. You placed the tie to the side and when you looked back Dieter had his arms reached out with a pleading look, the sight caused the tightness of your pants to become almost painful - you wanted to fuck him so bad but you also needed to make sure he was comfortable.

"if at any time you want to stop, just say..." You quickly looked around the room and saw a KitKat wrapper on your bed side table next to your bottle of lube. "...kitkat."

He looked at you "kitkat?" You just nodded, it was an odd one but anything works.

You place the cuffs around Dieters wrists making sure to ask if he's comfortable, once the cuffs were on Dieter stood up and twisted you both around so now he was stood infront of you as you were sat on the bed. He got onto his knees and moved between your legs, you helped him with your zipper and getting your pants down, along with your underwear. The feeling of your cock finally being released from your relatively tight pants had you letting out a quiet groan.

Dieter started stroking your cock causing you to moan pretty loudly "you have a really nice cock." He says looking up at you with his pretty eyes. You tap his chin "just start sucking." He didnt think twice before he started licking and sucking your cock, the feeling was indescribable. Your hand was in Dieters hair as he bobbed up and down on your cock, the room was filled with lewd 'oh yeahs' and 'oh fucks'.

It wasnt long before you pulled away from Dieter not wanting to cum just yet, thats when you realised you didn't bring any condoms, the one thing you needed in this moment you didn't have. "I fucking forgot condoms." You say annoyed with yourself. "We could do it without one." Dieter suggests. You bite your lip and smile at him "that'll work, get yourself on the bed." You say as you grab the lube and the tie you had taken out, when you looked back Dieter was sat in the middle of the bed with his pants off, finally fully naked and waiting for you. You place the lube and the tie on the bed next to him as you start to unbutton your shirt and put it on a clothes hanger, there was no way in hell you were going to let your best shirt get ruined.

You walk back over to Dieter whos starting to get ansty "whats the tie for" he asks. "I'm gonna blindfold you, is that okay?" You ask picking up the tie, he nods frantically and you tie the tie around his eyes. "Comfortable?" You ask and he nods.

You then direct your attention towards the lube, "hands above your head i dont want to see them move" you say as you gently push Dieter onto his back. "Yes sir." The honorific made you feel hot and you felt you face flush.

You quickly applied lube to your fingers and Dieters hole, once you were happy with the amount of lube you had applied you slowly started inserting a finger into his ass. "Shit you're tight, i bet it's been so long since you've been fucked huh?" You moan out. Dieter just nodded frantically in response.

You waited until he was grinding against your finger to add another, then you began to move your fingers in a scissor motion trying to stretch him out as well as you could not wanting to hurt him. "You've got a pretty cock." You tease him by using your other hand to lightly stroke the base of his cock making him whimper. Once he felt loose enough you placed yourself between his legs, you tried not to bring him too much pleasure wanting to save the best part till now. You wiped whatever lube was left on your hand onto your cock knowing you didn't need much with how wet and stretched out Dieters ass was.

You put your tip at his entrance causing him to squirm, you then slowly pushed into Dieter your cock sliding in easier than you expected. Dieter was writhing and moaning beneath you and you let out a deep groan as you bottomed out. You took the chance to have a few deep breaths as you let Dieter adjust, you admired his body your hands roaming around his torso and littering kisses and hickeys on his chest.

When Dieter gave you the okay to start moving you began to slowly thrust in and out of him, savouring each and every movement. Your face instantly nussled into his shoulder as you let out loud moans, Deiter was grabbing and pulling at your hair letting out long moans of pure ecstasy.

"please. Please. Ah-" Dieter moans out.

"please what baby, tell me what you want."

"faster! Faster please!"

You bit your lip and slowly pulled out of Dieter causing him to whine as the emptiness for him then to let out a loud moan when you thrusted back into him with force. You were pounding into his ass with your hand around his throat choking him lightly.

Dieter was a complete mess under you just letting out hot moans in complete bliss. You moved your hand down from his neck to grip his hip, replacing the place on his neck with your lips leaving dark hickeys. You slowly moved up his neck to his lips where you encased him in a desperate kiss.

When you broke for air you were both moaning into each others mouths, both getting close to your limit.

"Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I'm gonna- ah-" Dieter manages to scramble some words together. "Come on, ahh- cum for me baby." You moan in sync with your deep thrusts.

Suddenly you feel Dieter tighten around you and strings of cum shoot up his chest, the tightening of his ass had you closing in on your release faster than you expected.

"where do you want me baby?" You moan into Dieters ear.

Dieter, still out if breath manages to huff out "my face, my face."

Feeling at your wits end you quickly pull out and within a few strokes you had painted Dieters face with your cum.

You flop next to him to gather yourself before going to bathroom and getting a cloth to wipe him down with. You took the tie off of his eyes and watched him blink to readjust to the light in the room, you flashed him a quick smile before taking off the cuffs on his wrists.

Once Dieter was nice and clean you lay beside him again wrapping your arms around him, his hands bury themselves in your hair brushing through it. "That was so fucking good..." Dieter says breaking the comfortable silence you had. "Mm.. yeah i agree." You reply still in a state of bliss.

"we should do that again." Dieter says, laying a kiss on your chin. "Well not now, im exhausted... Lets shower and go to sleep, yeah?" Dieter nods and you both make your way to the bathroom.

A round two was then shared against the bathroom door...

-----------------------------

A/n: sorry this took so long I've been in a complete writers block/ slump recently. But i hope you enjoyed :)

#x male reader #pedro pascal x male reader #dieter bravo #dieter bravo x male reader #the bubble #the bubble fanfiction

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angelpuns · 9 months

Note

how do you think reactions and stuff would change if one of the other turtle boys got de-aged while the others stayed teens instead of leo? im curious

Ohoho I've actually thought about this.

If it were Raph it'd be an entirely different situation. He'd trust them immediately, he just KNOWS they're his family. The real problem would be he would keep trying to take care of THEM. Getting his ninpo back wouldn't be too big of a problem, the bigger problem would be Raph thinking maybe its better if he's small and trying to convince them of that as well. Which- ofc they want him back but they'd misunderstand and think he wanted to be small so he could get a break ( a very deserved one ). But otherwise it'd be pretty chill for the most part :) Donnie wouldn't freak out as much, Mikey would carry Raph around like a plush all day and Leo would be too injured to know what was going on ( and then feel incredibly horrible guilt when he finds out what happened. This is ofc assuming Raph was de-aged through the same means as Leo, soooo yeah. Honesty this would be a really fun spinoff t write, but I've already got a bit too much on my plate.

Mikey it'd be easy. Incredibly funny, because he's even more of a menace than Leo- but in ways the brothers are used to. Raph and Donnie find it hard to keep up at first, but then they get in a routine and all is well. Mikey trusts them immediately since they've always been his older brothers. They probably just had a growth spurt. His ninpo would be back very quickly and with his innate talent for mystics he'd be back to normal within a week. The only conflict would be Raph is so so so so anxious.

Donnie would RAISE HELL AS A CHILD. I think he has a lot led trouble trusting than Leo, but isn't immediately on board. After a simple DNA test tho he'd accept it and move on. Then he'd promise to tell his brothers everything he learned ( not how the time travel works but he doesn't know that yet ) his main conflict would be having to deal with the ninpi and the mystic stuff. He's already at an age where he relys on his tech and having to do mystic stuff would be so overwheing and bad he'd want to give up. Also Leo is not doing well in the med bay and he's incredibly worried ( sort of got a taste for that in the spinoff )

But yeah, these would be really interesting takes I think!! originally Kid Leo was about -like- childhood perceptions being different. Like the bros had certain expectations of Leo as a child and they were warped. Its still covered, but I think its lost a lot of that and is more about the plot now :)

Sorry I wrote a lot, I just was thinking about this a whole bunch <3

#kid leo au asks #kid leo au

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winryrockbellwannabe · 8 months

Text

10/October

^my (last) attempt at enjoying camomile tea, while studying for entrepreneurship yesterday (im sorry, it's really not for me, im a coffee girlie)

💜 today was a bit tiring, but it was nice. studying for my entrepreneurship class was worth it, i won the most valuable intervention in class thingie. (basically, our professor leaves us with the custody of a plushie until the next class if we were the person that said the most interesting things in class - which is usually saying word by word what the textbook says)

and i felt really better about class in comparison to last week, since i realized i was acting really annoying about answering questions in class (very Hermione granger in the first book vibes) and for a thing I don't even care about, so today i was really chill about it, didn't feel anxious if i didn't know the answer and just let it go. and somehow i still won the plushie?!?!

📚 the rest of classes were fine. radiations was super interesting, since the professor finally explained all kinds of radiation, which was something i was wondering for 2 weeks (but never asked bc i thought it was a dumb question). but it made sense only explaining it now, bc before i didn't have enough radiation knowledge to understand the differences between those

☕ on other news, I've been realizing that i start to stim a lot at night, once the adhd meds wear off (which sucks, bc i end up biting my nails a lot) so I'm trying to make an habit of crocheting and watching a show when i get all fidgety

🍄 also, the fact that i had such a good academic day, right on the day i was wearing a pink dress, is making me feel so legally blonde, im loving it

(and yeah, im trying a new format for my posts, lowkey inspired by @zzzzzestforlife bc her posts always have cute emojis - particularly loved the Getting My Life Together one - so i wanted to get more emojis on my posts sksks)

🦋 hope y'all had a wonderfull day <3 and dont forget to rest

#studyblr #study blog #studyspo #stemblr #stem student #study blr #study space #college student

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itsjaywalkers · 2 months

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This is maybe gonna sound rude but i'm promise it's not i just dont know how to express my feelings in english since its not my first language

But reading nh gave me so much anxiety?? And well no one likes being anxious but thats good when reading right?? And i dont get why its giving me anxiety its not like its super angsty or anything? I read sooo many fics in the past year and many of them were super angsty and shit but none of them made me feel like this..idk if its your writing or the story itself but idk I LOVE IT and your writing its just so??? No wordss

Cant wait for the next part honestly its keeping me on my toes..and for some reason i liked lil jeggy when they were 10 and 14 it was sooo cute to me and my heart was breaking for lil reg??? He was adooorableeee i wanted to wrap him in a blanket and keep him safe..but so did james and that was just soo puree and lovelyy..

And then James teaching him how to kiss??? I want like part 2 of that without the bitch breaking the moment..girl did nothing wrong if it was a real life situation i would of hated james..but fanfiction?? Cmon yeet that hoeeeee

nonnie this doesn't sound rude at all!! i get exactly what u mean, and ur explanation also helped. i'm so very glad that my story made u feel this much?? that it's real and raw enough to make u anxious?? like ofc im sorry too, like u said it's not exactly a nice feeling but . it's an understandable reaction as the story progresses and the dynamic begins to turn darker and more unhealthy, and the fact that i managed to do this even when it hasn't even become that angsty yet is !!! fucking amazing !!! thank you truly <3 i'm a bit at a loss on how to reply to this, ur message left me in shock in a good way

i'm also incredibly excited for the next part!! i've been focusing on it a lil lately bc i've been very inspired when it comes to nothing happens, and it's a story that comes so easy to me, writing it is always very fun and fulfilling for some reason. LIL JEGGY WERE INDEED ADORABLE i know that part 1 is probably the most boring of them all but i enjoyed it so so so much.. 11 year old reg has a special place in my heart and i was cooing and giggling the whole time while writing him

JAMES TEACHING HIM HOW TO KISS he was crazy for that one tbh.. (he's about to become even crazier). and pls im cackling i kinda adore emma and she gagged james a lil as she fucking should bc my god what an asshole but also . i feel u and this is fanfiction at the end of the day so u are very real

thank u again babe, i appreciate ur words and ur support more than you can imagine <3

#asks #anons #fic series: nothing happens

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c00kietin · 2 months

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*CRASHES THE DOOR DOWN*

SURE I'LL ASK!!!!!!!

ahem ahem

17-name 3 things that make you happy

19/20- fabe thing about Day/Night

28- Do you collect anything?

30- what's 1 of the things that never fails to make u happy?

38- fave song?

27- nickname? (Srry idk ur nickname(s) 😭)

18- Do u believe in THE BOO(ghost) or the UEUEUUE(Ailen) or yhe BOOOEUEUEUEUEU (both) or MMM.(none)

26/25- fave color/season and why

(sorry if im weird dude- 😭)

THANK YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUU YOU AREN'T WEIRD <<333

17 - listening to music, drawing something I like, and being in my bedroom <3

19/20 - Daytime, it feels safer for some reason and in the morning I have loads of time to myself- as for nighttime, I personally hate because it's when I'm most anxious and paranoid. It's just torture hours for me <3

28 - I collect snow globes and Funko Pops!

30 - probably my cat Pebbles- being with her and patting her comforts me a lot.

38 - my favourite song at the moment is either Bobby Sox by Green Day or Physical by Olivia Newton-John :D

27 - online I'm known as Cookie (of course) and in real life I've been nicknamed Pat the Cat by my parents, one time Spare Parts by sister (jokingly), Cranky Old Man by my friends, and my English teacher has also called me a fountain of knowledge :D

Although, I used to be nicknamed Floofsta by my friends, but we don't talk about that/j

18 - For both, kinda? For aliens, I think it's likely there's some form of living organism on some far off planet. Ghosts, not so much, but when I was younger I was told I could see ghosts from how much I stared :>

26/25 - Don't really have a favourite season, but I mainly like spring and summer because of school breaks/holidays :')

I love teals, blues, turquoise, yellows and generally the rainbow!! I just think they're neat!

#THANK YOU FOR THE ASK I'VE BEEN BORED AS HELL <''3 #asks #talking

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blu3b3rryj4mp1r3 · 11 months

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Hello! I noticed (from some of your previous posts) it seems like you’ve been going through hard times. I’m not the best at giving encouragement, but I wanted to remind you it’s okay to have those sad days. And it’s okay to reach out to someone you trust if you ever need help. I’m glad you can find comfort in the shows you enjoy. Please continue to take care of yourself, and remember your feelings matter! You are a wonderful person who deserves happiness. I hope things will get better for you soon 💛

Here’s some art I drew of your character! I hope it makes you smile a little bit <3

thank you so much!! I love it!! 🥺 I'd hang this on my wall, and I honestly might

I know I've been a little strange lately, i haven't talked to anyone outside of my family for so long now, and I really miss doing that, I wish I didn't isolate myself like this whenever im going through something because that's when I need people the most but I'm so anxious and I keep procrastinating everything and feeling worse for it

I feel like none of my words come out quite right, I'm sorry about that but thank you, I feel seen, thank you for thinking of me, this was really really really sweet of you and really brightened up my otherwise grey day

& I hope you have a lovely day!💖

♡ ˢᶠʷ ᶦⁿᵗᵉʳᵃᶜᵗᶦᵒⁿ ᵒⁿˡʸ ♡

#☆.asks #hplonesomeart #flutterberry #flutterberrypie #im uncertain my response made much sense but i hope i got the point across that this means a lot to me 💖#because it really really does! ^^

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lollytea · 5 months

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ms. lolly i'm getting glasses and i'm afraid i'm going to look uglier than usual in them. i don't want people to make fun of me (esp. not the guy i like. i dont think he will bc he's sweet but im still anxious) but. i'm afraid that people are gonna tease me. idk what to do and im super nervous bc i'm not attractive and i think the glasses are gonna just bring that out. do u have any tips on getting over that, as a glasses-wearer? (at least im assuming by your pfp)

sorry to disturb u with my silly ask but i hope u have a great day <3 love ur writing and huntlow posts

Hello! This kind of thing is hard to give advice on but I'll try my best :D! It's kinda like asking what kind of clothes will make you feel the most confident when only you know for sure what makes you comfortable and what doesn't. But I can definitely give you my opinions on glasses and what I feel best in and maybe you can take it into consideration.

(EDIT: OH MY GOD. I wrote a good bit about choosing glasses to feel nice in but I just read the ask again and it's possible you've already gotten them. Just scroll down to the bottom of the ask and I'll talk a bit about that if it's the case.)

You worry about not liking the way you'll look with glasses. That's okay, I've been wearing them since I was little so I feel really ugly without them. It's fine to feel a little insecure. But hopefully you'll find a pair that you think you like nice in!!

For the first ten years of wearing glasses, I had really small, thin wiry ones. Blegh. No wonder I felt so ugly during that time. They were not it. Was looking like this bitch.

But just cuz I didn't like the way they looked on me doesn't automatically mean you won't! Everyone's face is different.

Size matters (HAH) to me. I feel more happy and confident with the way my face looks with glasses depending on how big they are. I like how big glasses look. So when I was 18 I got THESE frames

And I liked them a lot!! I decided I like big wide glasses. So any frames I got from this point forward would look kinda like this.

However!! I kinda regretted the colour. It's like having a big big blocky border around your face dulls it a bit. So when I got new ones a few years later, I wanted them to be lighter. To brighten up the face area. These ones!!

They're pink!!! Or red maybe. But they're pink to ME!!! They are also EVEN BIGGER than the black pair I had. They're HUGE asgdbjnk. And I love them huge. The bigger the better. They're not really circular but they're also kinda roundish and I like that too.

So I guess think about the size, shape and colour. Would you like something more subtle like a small pair? Would you like them big and round? Getting them in a colour that you like Would definitely help!!

The thickness of the frames also matters. Maybe, since you're a little worried about how you'll look wearing them, you'd like something thinner? More subtle? Something in a pale colour/or without much of a border at all? Something that doesn't hide your face

Maybe something similar to this?

(I mean the frame thickness, not the size ahsbdjnk. We don't know what size you'd like yet.)

I kinda want glasses that look like this. I want thin gold ones like Miss Willow Park from hit Disney channel show the Owb Houb. However I don't really have that option. I'm borderline blind so I need the thick plastic frames to hold the thick as fuck lenses ahsbdjnk.

But since this is your first pair your eyes probably aren't nearly as bad and you have way more options!!

OKAY!! So if you've already chosen your glasses and are still worried about how you're going to look in them.

Alright, there are never any easy answers to this problem. How to get over not liking the way you look. People definitely like to pretend it's easy, that "Love yourself! Everyone is beautiful! :)" are these magic words that will suddenly rewire our brains into being happy and content with ourselves after a lifetime of feeling like the odd one out. When some people are put on a pedestal for how they look and some are not. It's hard to say physical ugliness doesn't exist when it's been beaten into everyone's heads that it does.

Despite everyone's best efforts to dismantle the concept of beauty standards, they persist relentlessly. They're roots in our brains, roots in society, and they're roots made of iron. So it is nobody's fault for being unsatisfied with themselves even after trying for so long to forcibly inject some girlboss confidence into their bloodstream. Its hard. It will always be hard.

If self love isn't easy at the start, aim for self neutrality. Just not hating is a good place to start.

It seems like you're not comfortable with yourself without glasses, so maybe if we start with that, your face with glasses will be way easier to accept.

In the end, you only have the one face to get you through this lifetime. And it's a lifetime you will waste if you spend it wishing it was different.

Everyone's face is a rearrangement of facial features, none of which are inferior to anyone else's, no matter what we've been mentally trained to believe.

You're a masterpiece all on your own. Every feature on your face belonged to someone in your family who came before you. Every feature you have was once adored by someone else. Specifically because it was a feature that belonged to a very wonderful person.

One day there will be someone who loves you more than anything. They'll love you so much than when they see a face that even looks remotely like yours they'll think that it's beautiful.

If it helps, mess around with your appearance a little. What colours do you like? Patterns? Skirts? Button up shirts? Long hair? Short hair? Dyed hair? Cardigans? Jangly jewelry? Figure out what's the most beautiful to you and add them to yourself. If you don't like your face, drown it out with what you do like. Until it gets to the point where its so distinctly you that you couldn't imagine this whole look without your face attached to it.

If you get to that point where you can feel happy with how you look as your default, then sliding a pair of glasses on and off shouldn't make much of a difference.

Thank you for telling me you like my writing and my posts. You seem sweet. I'm sure that's what people think when they're reminded of you. I'm sure that's what the guy you mentioned thinks. How can a person really be ugly if you associate their face with warmth and kindness?

Stay kind to others. Be kind to yourself. There's not much else I can say.

Good luck, love <33

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sigmoon · 8 months

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IM CACKLIJG BECAUSE YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHTaaa. The thing that attracts me the most to Dostoevsky is the fact that he writes everything in such a dramatic and over the top way. Every time I read his books, I notice that there's 3 pages worth of him trying to portray something as short as "yeah, he was really anxious," and I adore that. And I swear to you his books or classical literature in general has a way to be absolutely hilarious regardless of how serious the situation they are trying to portray is

I've gotten into classic literature 4-5?? years ago because of school and I actually started off reading classical literature written by people from my country as part of social studies and history so that was fun but a little hard for me to comprehend since I'll be honest, I don't speak my native language all that much

Currently, I'm reading White Nights. The book I bought was a book that had multiple of his small stories (including white nights) and Notes from Underground, but I'm already itching to start reading it already. My parents got me a THICK STACK of Dostoevsky books that I plan to read and I'm saving brothers Karamazov for last since it's extremely long and I've been too busy lately to focus on reading so I don't want to ruin the experience for me by reading then stopping for a long period of time

And honestly, maybe Dostoevsky has gotten it all figured out. There's something about jaded, morally frustrated, depressed, anxious, and anti-social men who have a chokehold on me, AND I GET IT, BUT I DONTT IS IT BECAUSE THEY'RE GENTLE??? Either way, reading crime and punishment made me realistically think about it, and I've come to the conclusion that if I was in Raskolinkovs position, I honestly think I would've done a good job acting normal after it but the anxiety I'd feel would've been x10000 worse than his

Dostoesvky has been one of the only classical authors I've read so far that combines so many different themes like nihilism, optimism, pessimism, religion, socialism etc. I read that he also had struggles with his religion, but he ultimately was an avid Christian, and he writes about all these things in his books. But I'm planning to dip my toes into Leo Tolstoy and Nabokov

SORRY IF THIS WAS LONG AHH, my friends don't read Dostoevsky, mostly other authors, SOOO ♡♡

Aaaahhh I’m sorry for my late reply, I read through your ask but I didn’t get to answer yet!

First of all, I don’t mind long asks or people talking about their interests, especially if I share them :3

What you said about Dostoyevsky’s writing being over the top and dramatic— I love that! Raskolnikov fainting five times a day? Sweet, and I’m not sure if I would handle the agonies of the guilt after a double murder more graceful than he did. Dimitri Karamazov holds really long monologues as well, and they’re sometimes really moving and beautiful and sometimes it’s just…yeah…you’re bitchless, we get it (/lovingly).

I’m so glad you perceive his works or other classics as funny as well, because the few people I’ve told that C&P or notes made me giggle while reading gave me that 0_0 look and asked how something so dark can be funny (but it is! Whether that was intended or not.) God, you have to read notes from the underground, I love the MC so much, he reminds me of an angry cat who scratches and hisses at people for no apparent reason but actually needs to be wrapped in a blanket, made some tea and given some head pats (bad example, don’t feed your cat tea…)

Overall, Dostoyevsky understands me like no other; him and mitski are the only ones who do.

And what is it with disheveled, greasy, depressed and anxious men with superior complexes that makes them so hot? They barely eat, they keep fainting, they don’t bathe, they’re antisocial…and they’re so sexy doing exactly that. When Raskolnikov said that he’s very busy with thinking— I felt that.

#Raskolnikov is so hot i wish Russians were real #can you tell I want to fuck him?#AND!! Dostoyevsky lets his male characters cry!! I love that!#Snot! and! tears!#aahh…white nights…⊹♡₊˚⊹#chit chat #anons<3 #Fran♥︎

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turkfra · 6 months

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Alright to start this ask off I'm just gonna say my interactions w/ you have genuenly been one of the funniest ive had in a long ass time. I've read ur recent post and I empathyse a lot. You seem incredibly funny and genuine. Idk your situation and your background and even your age, but I think you can and are pulling through. Things will get better even if you dont actively want them to. Im not saying this in a vague hope to make the situation you are in better. Im telling you, as a person who from the age of 14 went from therapist to therapist, somehow been on meds that dont fuckin exist yet in croatia, someone who feels trapped in the very /country/ she lives in with no means of escape, someone who is "waiting" for things to finally financially/academicaly/politicaly be better so that I can make something of my life. As it did for me, you will feel joy again in what you do, in what you have, and in what you can achieve. I think it's ok to be down, its ok to feel like "if a bus hit me tomorrow i wouldnt protest" but the thing about people is we adapt rather quickly. So putting yourself out there, going to places you are scared to and believe yourself to be an outcast from is exactly what gets you to meet people and see things that youll remember forever. And after a while the outcast will stop coming to these places, the person there will be someone who belongs. Apathy is a way of saying "fine whatever i dont even care anymore" but youll see how much you care.

I started getting ok after a full decade of *trying* and what I've always found is that for me the saying "don't take anything seriously" is no.1 rule. I get worked up, anxious and overwhelmed with so much so many times.

You may have problems with people at work with friends and whomever, but the main thing you gotta remember is *you cant change anyone but yourself*

And its not a change of personality, hair color, interests, its how much something will get to you, how willing are you to give something up thats not working out and how you will percieve something.

I have no doubt that you know all of this crap but i guess i wanted to say all of that just bc there is no greater pain for me than when i see someone feel like i did regardless of the reason or situation.

Keep on truckin and doing what u love even if its mpregfrance posting. I will always be here to send you to liking-france-jail, mwah <3

hello my sweaty angle <3 i'm sorry i'm just replying to this now. i had to sleep on it because your thoughtfulness deserves a sincere reply.

first of all - thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for being so kind, sweet and insightful and offering your support.

the fact that you would take the precious time out of your day to write this out for me is, in a word, unbelievable. i really appreciate you checking in, it's an incredibly caring thing to do. to be honest i'm a little overwhelmed by the magnitude of this unexpected message and i wish i knew how better to express my appreciation.

i really do love to hear that i made you laugh. i live to shitpost. i've always prided myself on my sense of humor and sometimes i feel as if it's slipping away, so it's reliving to hear i've still got it.

unfortunately i still haven't had the strength to eat. i'm heading to work in a bit. things are pretty rough right now, but when have they not been? obviously my present circumstances aren't the root cause of all my problems. in fact my life has improved since moving here.

extensive bianca lore and vulnerability under the cut, apologies in advance.

basically, in so few words, my current situation is that i'm nearly 25 and have nothing to show for it. i've lived in different cities across the US, had great jobs, apartments, friends, roommates, relationships, etc. i have done a lot of living in a short amount of time. but then, in retrospect, it feels like it stopped.

about 3 years ago i was in a very bad place mentally due to the isolation of the pandemic, and i met my husband online. in early 2022 i gave up everything, saved over $10k for the visa and moving costs, and relocated from the US to australia to live with him. our relationship itself has improved from how it used to be, but since the beginning we've had seemingly endless bad luck and financial setbacks.

last year, not long after our (very disappointing) wedding, i suffered a devastating miscarriage. ruptured ectopic, massive internal bleeding, required emergency surgery etc. not only was that traumatic emotionally, but i wasn't eligible for healthcare at the time bc of my immigration status, so we're still paying off the medical bill.

we share a house with my mother in law who is a domineering, emotionally incestuous single mom and an emotionally abusive narcissist. i don't throw that term around lightly, as so many people do these days, but i honestly believe she's devoid of empathy. she's admitted that she dislikes me and thinks i'm stupid because i don't talk much, and goes out of her way to make me feel unwelcome.

so i'm stuck in an area that feels, to me, like the middle of nowhere. i'm not homesick, i love this country. it's just that i'm not used to suburbs. i feel most comfortable in a city where there's people and places and things, neon lights and background noise and stuff to do.

i'd would be happy to live anywhere as long as it's not with her. it honestly feels like a prison sometimes. that sounds dramatic but she's cultivating an unbelievably hostile environment that causes me to feel on edge whenever she's around.

needless to say we need to move, desperately. it's our #1 priority. more than anything else i want a place of our own and eventually a family. we've been actively househunting for the better part of a year, but the rental market is catastrophically bad right now. it's not even about the money, since we're both working we can afford a decent place. it's just that it's so competitive. every showing i've attended, there's been like 30 other prospective tenants. we've been turned down from every apartment we've applied for.

on top of our living situation i have complex health issues that are just getting worse. my energy is zapped. trying to balance work work and housework leaves me with almost no free time to write.

this barely scratches the surface of why I Am The Way That I Am™. i'm not saying any of this to evoke sympathy or brag about 'having it hard'. simply trying to explain. my upbringing was abusive and dysfunctional in a number of ways. i just barely graduated high school. i never had traditional opportunities, i was raised in a way where there's basically no assumption/expectation that you'll ever be successful or fulfilled. i'm diagnosed with ADHD, PTSD and bipolar 2 - haven't been able to get my proper meds in australia. i've been addicted to hard drugs and alcohol. i'm not pleasant to be around. i will probably always look like and act like the lower class, white trash girl that i am. i have spent my entire life in survival mode.

i'm always in the midst of some identity crisis or running away from something. so yeah, i've been hurt and downtrodden. i've also experienced the beautiful side of life from time to time. i've gained a breadth of knowledge and met incredible individuals who introduced me to new perspectives and i'm forever grateful for them. with the way i've lived, i'm very lucky to not be dead or incarcerated right now.

ok, pity party's over. for real this time.

you're pretty much describing exactly how i feel. you know the struggle. the part about waiting to live my life; that's precisely where i'm at. i don't necessarily have a desire to fit in, i just want to get away into somewhere that i can adjust better to.

my isolation is partially due to a lack of energy but also i don't seek out interaction because i'm afraid no one else can understand me. not because i believe i'm too 'complex' or 'damaged' to be understood. that's a load of self-pitying bullshit. it's just scary to be truly seen. or vulnerable. or genuine. bc the results of such openness are unpredictable and uncomfortable.

it's hard, but i know i have to find it within myself to take that push. what's holding me back right now is mainly my material conditions, circumstances out of my direct control. i have no doubt i'll feel at least 50% better when i stop living with this woman.

i certainly have no problem with starting over if something doesn't work for me. contrary to what i might've described, i believe i'm pretty well adjusted, self aware and rational. as is obvious i don't take many things that seriously lmao. i went from caring wayyy too much about everything, being overly emotional and sensitive, to going entirely with the flow and accepting what i can't control or predict.

also i am well aware that you can't change people, that's never been my goal lmao i've never needed someone to tell me that <3

tl;dr, thank you. so much. this really uplifted and inspired me meli, thank you so much for being so thoughtful and compassionate.

it sounds like you're also stuck between a rock and a hard place in your own environment, and i'm sorry to hear that. it's a wretched feeling but i believe you you will thrive no matter the setting, because in all seriousness, you're incredibly talented. i hope you know you should follow your dreams. hell, it looks like you already are and you're giving us the privilege of witnessing it. your art is stunning, the passion and care you put into your work is obvious. your matthew is absolutely beautiful - like his maman.

from a rabidly devoted france woobifier to the designated france hater, i'm only going to say this once but you are validated in your distaste. i understand. you gotta admit though, he is a MILF.

if one thing is certain i will never stop frussyposting. in fact right now i am thinking about france hetalia big fat juicy boobies mmmm milky squishy. i'm giving her a teensy tiny little slut waist and childbearing hips. i would give him a brazilian butt lift but he doesn't even need it!!!

if that is a crime then lock me up. please. strap on the handcuffs and throw me in the crate for naughty little freaks teeheehee >:3

be careful tho. if you keep sending me gay ass love letters like this they're gonna start shipping toxic yuri melianca even harder <3

#this made my day #this ask gave me bottom emoji eyes!!!#DM me if you want babe #ask and ye shall receive #tw vent

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levmada · 1 year

Text

Strange and Unfamiliar (But Not Unwelcome) Pt.2

summary: Levi and Furlan, two people who could never trust anyone, experience that and more for the first time.

This time, Levi bottoms.

wc: 9.7k

content/warnings: foreplay, enthusiastic consent, massage, nipple play, fingering, rimming, anal play, prostate massage, sex so good it makes Levi cry, banter, teasing, cockwarming, service dom!Furlan, soft, making love kinda, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, cum-eating, edging, begging, praise, one use of 'good boy', soft aftercare

a/n: I became super inspired after what was supposed to be a standalone oneshot about levifar's first time fnudjfier that im going to write them exploring each others bodies 2 more times. and u know what, im thinking about levihan and eruri too. as my top 3 fav aot ships.. mm.. we'll see.

| Part 1 | Part 3 |

Furlan sighs like he's been holding it in for hours, and leans back in his chair. "Finished. Finally."

The makeshift work station—nothing more than an emaciated table and chair—being shoved into the sitting room's back corner like it is meant Furlan should've had Levi in the corner of his eye since he started sweeping.

Levi feels confident about that. It was his intention, ever since he finished up more mundane chores. Furlan was still accounting and running numbers by then, so he chose to sweep the spotless floor. It's about time for him to be done.

He sweeps nonexistant dust into a corner, pretending he hasn't been faking the task for the past hour. Yeah, he couldn't stand sitting around in anxious anticipation for one more day, and yeah, the back-and-forth repetition was relaxing, but, there's no such thing as too clean.

Their eyes meet when Furlan speaks. There's already something unspoken there, because there has been. For days now.

Wordlessly, Levi tugs down his facecloth, so it sags around his neck like a bandana. "Good."

He crouches, and does his final act of pretending with the dustpan, then rises, and walks past Furlan’s curious eyes to the hallway. He taps the dustpan against the little trashcan, and leans the broom against the corner of the linen closet. The subtle click of the door opening and shutting is a little loud to his ears.

"Took a while. Sorry, Levi."

"It's not a surprise. Things've been busy lately," he says, coming up behind Furlan. In his absence, Furlan got to reviewing the pages, crowded with rows of pencil scratches, over again.

"Way to state the obvious," he remarks warmly.

He looks tense. Levi's lithe palms float down to Furlan's shoulders, on top of his buttoned shirt and that blue vest that always brings out the darker tones in his eyes.

But right now, it's an obstacle more than anything. He smooths the pads of his thumbs into the tight muscles on the nape of Furlan's neck, upwards, and expands out. A small groan immediately falls out of him.

Before Levi can do any more, he catches Furlan trying to glance over his shoulder at him, and states the obvious. "A massage?"

Levi deadpans, and guides his cheek back around to face forward again. While he's at it, he nudges the shoulders of the vest down. Levi hears buttons snap before it loosens, and falls off his shoulders completely.

"I could use your opinion on something."

Levi grunts. "What?"

"Maybe expanding our operation here... The MP have been quiet lately, and we have the means. What do you think?"

He ponders it while he strokes Furlan's shoulders. "Yeah. People have expressed interest."

"That test of strength thing didn't work before. Have you thought about my plan?"

"Yeah. I've thought about it. Getting Daniel and Roe to talk to a few I've had an eye on... except I'll neglect the guys everyone thinks I'll pick, including themselves.

"I revised your plan more after that. They'll be shitting themselves when I talk to them one-on-one later on, and be eager to do what I say."

"That's really smart," Furlan mumbles.

"I know." He digs his fingers in.

A reserved moan can be heard as Levi applies pressure. "What about kids?"

"...Maybe."

Recruiting young is a touchy decision for Levi. He would rather think of it as rescuing them from certain death. They get delivery jobs. They become messengers. Pay and food.

Especially if they've lived on scraps for a while. It's a testament to their strength. It wouldn't take long after a look around to find kids in need, but it takes longer to find the ones who've endured.

"Enough with the business talk for one night," Levi grumbles. "Seems like that's all you're thinking about."

"Nope. Part of why I took so long is because you're distracting," Furlan chuckles, and leans back to peer up at him upside down. "But you probably knew that already, am I right?"

Levi's cheeks warm. Buttons snap. "That's news to me..."

He's pleased to find Furlan's collar already open to the top of his chest, and more buttons being worked open all the time. He slides his hands down over the dips and peaks of his collarbones, following the soft curves of his pecs. It's warm under his shirt, almost toasty, and faintly dusted in blond hairs. They tickle his palms. Furlan hums.

They've been meaning to do this for a while now. Only, reserving a few hours even out of the night has been challenging lately. They'd both be remiss to call Levi something of a leader, but they've been doing well for themselves lately. Furlan is his partner in that way, and in other ways.

For Levi especially, the suspense has been killing him. Hence the sweeping, and his impatient hands diving into Furlan's shirt now that it's open. He flattens his palms on his soft pecs, pushing them together and apart like a massage.

Upside down, he watches Furlan's lips part and his eyes float closed, then shut tight as Levi tweaks his nipples. "Levi."

His bottom half heats.

In no time, they harden, like putty under Levi's touch. After pinching, and getting a small whine out of Furlan, he soothes the hard buds with his thumbs.

Furlan's chest rises and falls. One hand gravitates to the top of Levi's, caressing while the other goes down, and closes on the front of his pants.

Levi's legs turn a little weak in the knees as he watches, and hears Furlan sigh.

Furlan tilts his head back again. He looks ridiculous with his cheeks all pink, and his coy grin looking more like a creepy frown. "Guess it's obvious, but. I want you. Sorry it took so long."

Levi bites the inside of his cheek, and strokes Furlan's jaw with one hand as he applies a firmer pinching pressure to Furlan's pebbled nipple with the other.

"You have me."

"You know what I mean."

He scoffs. "You should take a wild guess of what I've been thinking about for the past week."

Furlan smiles. "Oh."

His knees turn weak again. He reaches over for the large ledger, picks it up, and closes it. He feels Furlan watching him as he steps away from the chair, and heads toward the shelf lining the other wall. It's full of books, none dusty, but all in various states of neglect and natural decay. The Underground is damp.

Which is part of the reason for this special hiding spot.

Levi kneels down, and slides a stack out of the way. The wooden panel here is loose, and he slides it aside with ease, revealing a dark compartment that smells of expensive concoctions that trap moisture, and mothballs.

Levi hears whispered steps of socks against wood.

It's tucked away by the time Furlan appears behind him, also kneeling. His arms close on his small waist, daring to distract him while Furlan's heated breath washes over his nape. Furlan next folds his shirt collar down and pulls his facecloth free so he can kiss his neck.

"Hold on..." Levi struggles to slide the plank back into place first as heat trickles down, then shoves the cloth in his pocket. Pressed against his back, Furlan's frame is inviting and secure. "All that working, and suddenly you can't get your hands off me?"

"Mm-mm." He kisses Levi's earlobe, and traps it between his teeth.

"Fuck," he gasps faintly. A jolt of arousal goes straight to his dick, and here, he wonders. Wonders if Furlan can smell it.

"You're the one wearing perfume," Furlan points out, sounding surprised.

He glances over his shoulder, and pops his collar. "I am, aren't I. Well stand up."

Back on unsteady feet, Levi pulls Furlan back in from behind, pushing down on his nape until he feels sweltering wet kisses on his neck. Eager, increasingly needy.

"You alright?"

"Yeah." They sway, kisses deepening.

Furlan presses closer, snug against him, and Levi sighs. It's firm and hard against the seat of his pants. The longing he feels then is painful.

With one hand, Levi pins Furlan's mouth to his neck, and takes support from the shelf with the other so he can arch his back. This has his ass pop out and push back against all that hardness.

That'll be inside me soon.

"Fuck, Levi." He grabs his waist and grinds hungrily. "You are needy."

He huffs. "No 'm not..."

“Then what're you trying to do to me?”

"Get you to quit fucking procrastinating," he replies hotly, squeezing his nape.

Furlan snorts in amusement. One hand pinned across Levi's waist, the other goes lower closes on the front of Levi's tight trousers.

He stiffens, and sighs tenderly. "More."

Furlan sucks Levi's tender skin between his teeth, and raises his head. "Oh, so you've had enough messing around now?"

"You tell me." Levi presses down on Furlan's hand, grinding his dick on his palm, and swallows thickly.

"Mm..." He squeezes and strokes, at the same time catching Levi's nipple through his shirt, and a moan escapes him. It throbs, hotter. "Oh, I don't know..."

"Fucking asshole... More."

He finds himself being spun around, their lips crashing together, pressed up tight enough to feel Furlan through his tight pants. For a second as his tongue takes Levi's mouth, he thinks Furlan's going to do it right there, against the bookshelves.

He groans in protest, detaching their lips, and skipping down to Furlan's neck, determined to leave marks of his own—that don't go away for days. That pulls a louder sound out of him.

"Okay, okay," Furlan relents. His fingers bury in Levi's hair. "I'm done teasing, I swear... Let me take you to the bedroom..."

With a short hum, confidence building, he presses their foreheads together with a fleeting kiss to Furlan's lips. "Good choice."

In comparison to the fooling around they've done so far, they practically make it to the bedroom a flash... where Furlan surprisingly parts from him, intent on the bottom drawer beside the old bed.

Levi points as he opens his shirt. "What you're looking for's over there."

The lube Levi retrieved days earlier (and left out to spite Furlan) sits out in the open on the small bedside table, like it's been waiting too, but that's not what Furlan's looking for, apparently. A towel appears in his arms instead. He rises, and knocks the drawer shut with his heel.

Furlan smiles sheepishly. "I thought you'd appreciate this."

His shirt parted like curtains, Levi stands in place as Furlan unrolls the fluffy towel, and lays it on the bed long-ways. It's even grey, for stains.

Heart tender, Levi approaches from behind with his brow knit, and embraces him with his chin raised, so he can set it on his shoulder. It's not even the towel's obvious purpose he's so affected by, he thinks—he would've been fine going without—but that Furlan considered something that's otherwise insignificant.

"Thanks," Levi says slowly, trying to phrase it properly. "You put a lot of thought into this."

"More than you think." When Furlan turns his head, he's smiling full of nervous affection.

Levi guides his jaw towards him, where their buttery lips meet, and smack.

First, Furlan sits, pulling Levi down with him, and into his lap. He feels dizzy with fondness for this man as he parts his lips for him, and heavy smacking sounds ensue as they trade tongue. It's satisfying to clutch at Furlan's shoulders with the knowledge he already has Furlan all to himself.

As their tongues mesh, Levi spots Furlan's heavy-lidded gaze as he touches his back, and down lower, caresses Levi's round bottom, encouraging his hips.

His eyes close by instinct when he feels the hot friction, satisfying and teasing both at once. His wide thighs squeeze Furlan's hips as messy lips mash and hips roll, until Levi simply can't take it anymore with most of their clothes still on.

He leans back with purpose until Furlan follows through, and gravity does the rest of the work. Furlan however gets his arms around him before he can fall, and lays him down gently.

"More," Levi whispers urgently. "More."

"Okay, okay," he breathes shakily. He slots himself in-between Levi's spread legs, hands wandering and arms wrapping, lips parting for the silky heat of their mouths. Furlan pulls Levi's shirt shamelessly from its neat tuck.

No matter how many times they've fooled around, this position always gets his heart racing. Instincts make him hyperaware of how to escape when someone's on top of him—but this obviously isn't the time. He feels a small twinge of guilt, and to stamp it down, he pulls even more of Furlan on top of him, and gives him more space.

A slow hum vibrates down Levi's throat. As Furlan shifts, he feels firm heat pressing down between his thighs, and a moan escapes him, low and throaty.

Their hips grind with abandon. Enough waiting. Enough fucking around, Levi thinks.

Then he remembers what this is they're about to do, and shivers. Part thrill, part anxiety.

Their lips smack noisily before Furlan pulls away, and helps Levi slide his arms free of his sleeves. "Are you comfortable like that?"

"Like what?" he grunts. His silver belt buckle clinks open, followed by his pants. Everything off.

"On your back?"

He turns annoyed. "Why wouldn't I be?"

Furlan lays his shirt aside, and shakes his head. "I'm not criticizing you. I'm just reminding you, you have the option, and I just think... you should be comfortable, and you're not really... I think I can tell when something's bothering you."

He's nervous. Levi thinks this over as Furlan works Levi's pants and briefs off his ankles. "Stop worrying... I don't get it. You don't make me 'uncomfortable'."

"I know that." Furlan opens his own pants. "But if something does, and you just... take it... Levi, that can't happen. You've talked that way before, is what I'm saying."

All of their clothes are gone, but no one acts.

"Because I'm right," he says quietly. "I get that I'm participating. But I'm the one 'taking it'."

"What? No," he says instantly. "What're you—? That doesn't mean anything."

A realization seems to dawn on Furlan, as everything stops to pause. "You're wearing perfume," he says slowly.

Levi tenses. Shame betrays him by burning his cheeks. "So fucking what, Furlan? Are you just going to state the obvious over and over... or ask a question, and then correct me some more?"

"That depends on whether you need to be corrected," he replies.

Levi crosses his arms, and looks aside, getting less turned on by the minute and more confused. That doesn't help. He hates being corrected in general, but now, specifically, it's like everything he has ever learned is taboo rather than the way sex just... works. It makes him feel like an idiot, and even more sick for her, but, at the same time... relieved. Like pain being optional, or pausing being encouraged.

Except, how wrong can he be?

Furlan murmurs, "Baby," and touches his waist. Levi crumbles inside. "I wanted to be prepared for this—but even if I was totally clueless, other stuff is obvious to me. It's an equal thing." Furlan squeezes. "This isn't happening to you. You know what I mean?"

"...I can't decide if it's creepy or a good thing you did research," he mutters.

Furlan guides Levi's attention towards him by his jaw. "Could you promise me?"

Immediately, Levi is listening closely. He doesn't take words lightly—especially promises—and with that intensity behind Furlan's blue eyes...

Levi says, like a secret that bursts from him, "Brothel."

The silence is tense. Levi for some reason just can't look at him or meet his eyes, but he can't stand the quiet either, so he keeps going. "I lived in one of those disgusting shitholes. So I should be the one that's prepared. Yet every damn time you tell me I'm wrong about something... But Furlan, I've seen it a million times, and I saw it the same way, every time, and so, I don't get... what..."

Levi trails off aimlessly. Both of them are motionless, hardly touching. He hates being pitied, if that's what Furlan's thinking, or if he plans to probe more for answers, then...

"I like you," Furlan says, now confident, like it's a fact. The Underground is dirty, cuts bleed.

Snapped out of his mind, Levi stares, and again feels himself relax underneath Furlan. Slowly.

"That's not the case in brothels, is it? I like you, a-and so I care, Levi. That's completely different.

"And so I need you to promise me, that if something is wrong, or hurts, or hell—you just have a complaint, you bring it up instead of accepting that that's the way things are.

"I really... really... don't want to mess this up."

Furlan is no longer on top, but kneeling between his legs, suddenly looking out of place. His plea—a plea is what it is—touches his heart in a way Levi isn't accustomed to.

"You're not messing up," he states firmly. Why do the words hurt so much, when they endear him to Furlan that much more?

Frowning, Levi leans up, and holds Furlan's jaw in place while he kisses him with all the tenderness he can't convey with words. Nothing is even happening, really, and yet this kiss feels intimate in place of sex.

He'd never thought of it that way, though—it's true. It makes sense now for Levi's knowledge and his experiences with Furlan to be so vastly different. He really feels completely out of his element now... except if it weren't for his constant that is Furlan there to calm his nerves.

"I get it," he speaks against his lips. "Fine." They press firmly. "I'll say something. You have my word."

Furlan searches his eyes for a moment, and then sinks into his arms. "Not that I don't trust you. But you know."

Levi's head tilts. "You have about a thousand more ways to say I'm wrong?"

A smirk. "Give me some time, and yeah, maybe I will."

Furlan kisses him again as their bodies gravitate toward each other. Neither of them are as hard as before, so they take their time. Furlan places a barrage of tiny kisses from his palms, to his forearms and thick biceps to the peaks and dips in his collarbones.

He speaks against Levi's neck, "Did you know... I think you're beautiful?"

Levi's eyes widen. That catches him off-guard. "Sh...Shut up."

"I mean it." There's a look in his eyes that intimidates him. "You're beautiful. And I like looking at you." Kisses drag and turn wet around his pecs, causing Levi's breath to shudder, and his eyes to instinctively close as Furlan's buttery lips close on his nipple, his hand around his cock. "I like kissing you. And touching you."

Levi wants to make some teasing jab about poetry, but it's lost on him because of Furlan. He pumps loosely and plays with his slit until Levi's soft and pliant, and tilting his hips up for more. The sucking sensations, and dull pressure from Furlan's teeth make him throb, with an embarrassing stream oozing from his tip.

It's all exposing, more than every other time, what with the knowing. That's why Levi's hands roam Furlan's body so hungrily. Scraping his nails down his back, full of scars, and the lithe muscles packed into his sides, and feeling up the subtle curve of Furlan's waist—nothing like Levi's—as his palm closes on his ass. More marks rise to the surface of Levi's pale skin.

"More. I'm ready," he breathes, his fingers threading in Furlan's blond locks. It feels against some invisible rules, somehow, to ask for something considering his position, but he ignores it. It's easy to forget his reservations when Furlan's making him feel this good.

Levi knocks his waist with the side of his foot until he chuckles, and scoots back.

"Happy?"

"Not yet," Levi snarkily replies. His eyes are drawn to Furlan's cock, blushing at the tip and more than half-hard laying on his thigh. He realizes he's never considered the idea of it being inside him before, or even being inside Furlan. Another time.

He spreads them, and to even further show his need without saying a word, and pries his cheeks apart, and lifts his hips. "F-Furlan. I want you."

Furlan visibly shudders and bows his head, a soft groan of approval moving over his thigh to dizzy Levi's mind. Hands shift and fall on Levi's, spreading and working the plump soft flesh until his dick strains, and drools.

For now... Levi decides he'll let Furlan do as he likes, when he likes. Scattering kisses while he strokes Levi's big thighs with shameless passion, licking and kissing closer to where he needs him most of all.

He pets his hair. "Hey. Don't think about using your mouth if you want me to la—"

Soaked heat from Furlan's tongue climbs the underside of his cock, licking up what's leaked from his tip. Seductive blue eyes challenge him.

"Shit," he gasps, and snags the sheets beside him. Too fucking wet, too silky hot.

He orders his body to relax as he watches Furlan's tongue lap at his slit, the contented look on his face, even with his eyes closed. His lips close, and suckle his pink tip.

"Ah, Furlan..." Levi gasps. He squirms. "Idiot, I'm being serious."

It's not the first time Furlan's gone down on him—but Levi thinks that he might be sensitive by nature or something. Which is annoying when Furlan seems so determined to pay him attention before the main event starts.

Rather, this is Furlan liking him. But that doesn't negate the fact that Levi won't last if he keeps on.

Furlan makes a murmuring noise. Just thick and loud enough to make Levi miss him when he pulls off—after explicitly telling him to do just that.

"Don't pretend you don't like it." Furlan gestures with his head. "Could you..."

"I do. That's the problem." That weightless wanting feeling returns to Levi's stomach as he takes the lube off the stand, and hands it to him. Furlan pulls the stopper, and tips it into his hand.

It looks like a waste to Levi, how much he's using, but he keeps quiet and obediently holds his hand out when it looks like Furlan's ready to hand it off.

Only Furlan seems to think better of it, and touches Levi's knee. "Can you spread them more?"

"You want my feet behind my head or something?" he retorts as he obeys. He spreads his thighs and lets his head sink into the pillow, completely exposed.

Furlan snorts with a sense of amazement. "Can you? And you'd do that for me? Maybe I should keep that in mind."

"Don't get a big-ass ego just 'cause—"

And Levi sucks in a swift breath as Furlan tips the phial. The thick, syrupy liquid dribbles down his taint, and over his hole. Suddenly it's there, and it's not like it's warm, causing a whine Levi can't catch in time, and his toes to curl. "Fuck... Fuck you."

"It's easier if you're wet."

"Shut up," he snaps, without thinking.

He feels bad for it the moment he does. This is serious, he remembers, or it means a lot to Furlan for Levi to be less of an asshole than usual. He eyes him, Furlan, who seems conflicted as he holds the closed phial out for Levi to take back.

"Nevermind," Levi mutters, and places it aside. "Stop it with that look. I promised, right? I'm not gonna let you mess up, or whatever you're afraid of."

"Never said I was afraid..." he drawls.

Levi can tell he's bullshitting, but he forgets to point it out as fingers from Furlan's clean hand stroke his taint, spreading the lube. "It's more like I'm not gonna let you stop me from making this good for you."

As if on cue, Levi's cock gently throbs as Furlan's strokes turn firm, and slide up to close his palm on his heavy balls, lathering them.

"Fuck you're an idiot—if you think, think that—"

Furlan squeezes, and oils his cock up next. Other fingers brush his hole. He feels himself tighten up on instinct, the contact pulling a shiver from him.

"—that this is bad for me," Levi finishes weakly, overwhelmed by pleasant tingles down his spine and the growing heat kindling brighter below. It doesn't even seem like Furlan is listening—instead he's studying all of Levi's reactions. Seeing what he likes. What elicits less.

"I'm gonna start now. With one." He kisses Levi's knee, and shuffles forward.

"Fuck. Fine."

Despite his thorough warning, Furlan's middle finger pushing past his rim makes him tense, clenching down on the unfamiliar feeling. It doesn't hurt, but it's weird.

"You're okay?"

"Ngh."

He pushes to the first knuckle, and out. It's a tiny thrust, barely anything. Levi moans under his breath.

"More?" Furlan for some reason sounds breathless.

"Y...Yeah. I'm not fragile. You're fine."

The second... then third knuckle. Levi hides the upper half of his face behind his elbow as he figures out whether he likes it or not. His body is constantly betraying him by fluttering around it, but he can't say it's unpleasant.

Furlan strokes Levi's wide thigh, and keeps his eyes on the faces he's making—all he can see, anyway. "How's it feel?"

Levi lowers his elbow. "...Like you have your finger in my ass. It's fine."

Furlan's hand wraps around his cock. "What about now?"

He gasps, and feels his walls clench down much tighter in response, again betraying him. He nods, too distracted to properly answer.

"I really like it... how sensitive you are. I'm adding another now, okay?"

Levi gets stuck on that first sentence and almost misses the question. "Mhm..."

He's hot and light all over as a second finger slides in beside the other, stretching him for the first time. He hides his face again, this time dragging a pillow over.

It's beginning to actually... feel like something. Furlan's fingers aren't thin, but long regardless, and so fill him so nicely, deep inside, combined with his hand around his cock. Levi bites down hard on his lip so an embarrassing noise doesn't escape.

Furlan keeps talking, slowly. "It doesn't seem like you would be so sensitive, right?—You're so rigid all the time..."

"'m not," he pants. "Rigid..."

"Heh. But you start shaking as soon as I touch you. Like this:"—his thumb dips into Levi's wet slit, and uncontrollably, he pinches his brows and shakes—"It's so fucking hot. And they feel big, right? They have to be, when you're this tight."

He has them pushed in to the second knuckle. They circle Levi's twitching rim when he pulls back, before burying right back in again, faster now.

His breath hitches embarrassingly loud. Every word makes Levi feel special, embarrassed, and at the same time dazed.

"Is it good?"

Levi nods, biting down on his tongue behind the pillow. All Furlan can see is his closed eyes.

And he doesn’t tear it off. Doesn’t even point out what Levi’s doing. That feels even better than what Furlan’s doing to him right now.

God, he's so hard. With how careful Furlan is taking this, he doesn't see how it could hurt for a second. Maybe that's why, going into it, Levi figured it'd be quick.

He feels a touch of guilt for that. Pain or not, he hates to waste Furlan's time, which Furlan can't argue with... After all, he's getting nothing out of this so far.

Furlan's fingers curl, yanking Levi out of his thoughts with a heated groan. His fist hasn't slowed, even as it throbs, making Levi's hips tilt.

For the first time in a while, he opens his eyes, embarrassed by the cum that's streamed down Furlan's knuckles.

"Faster," Levi requests, and adjusts so he can sink onto Furlan's fingers, not the other way around. "You're taking too long. I'm ready."

"Wait."

He tries to make a warning noise, but it only sounds whiny.

Furlan's fingers and the stretch disappears, and the emptiness that remains is horrible. Levi's eyes fly open, prepared to object, when the lube appears in Furlan's shaking hand. He reached for it himself.

Between his thighs, Levi catches Furlan's swollen neglected cock, bright fuchsia, dripping onto the towel.

"I said hurry up," Levi huffs, raising his hips. He's so hard his dick feels like it's about to fall off. Back to the pillow, craving something to hold onto.

Too close, he thinks. In three short pumps, that'd probably be it for him, and then where would they be? Wasting more time, that's where. Even though he's never had a problem with coming more than once with Furlan.

"I am. Three, now. Are you so impatient 'cause you're close?"

Three, this time, bury inside him. Slick just enough for perfect friction, to stretch, but not to slide too easily.

A groan bubbles up in his chest. He lowers the pillow, still hugging it. "Th-That's not... not the problem..."

Furlan's eyes sparkle with curiosity. "So what is the problem?"

"I'm ready," he replies petulantly, and grinds down on them himself. "This is a giant waste of your time by now..."

"Levi..." But he indulges him, and increases the pace.

It stings a little.

But so what? he catches himself thinking.

Before he remembers.

"It just stings... some."

The fingers slow inside him. "I'm warning you," Furlan says in a quiet tone. "Not to rush me."

Levi's brows knit, and his eyes open. "Or what?"

"If you just looked, you'd know I'm turned on right now. Maybe you're wasting time by complaining.

"If you keep rushing me..." His fingers curl, and maintain shallow thrusts as he speeds up, encouraging Levi's hastening gasps. Furlan's fist reappears, tighter now, and faster. "I'm gonna make you come. I know you can take one more. Maybe even two."

He barely even hears the word come. His quick breaths leave him in huffs as the reality of his nearing climax begins to catch up with his shitty attitude. Thrusting to meet Furlan's hand becomes something beyond his control.

Furlan leans forward even more, to keep Levi's thighs from twitching closed. It's like Furlan to be so daring, but not in bed. It fuels Levi's helplessness in a way, and gives him what he needs, he thinks. Someone to put him in his place. Furlan's taking his say out of it, which is somehow—fuck, it's good.

Levi gasps rapidly, and pins the pillow to his chest, "Shut up shut up shut—up."

"Does it still sting?"

"No," he moans, too high-pitched. His head tosses back and forth as his thighs tense and tremble. "You have to stop. I'm gonna come."

Then the loudest gasp of all finds him. Some spot Furlan brushes against drags a cry out of him as fiery heat from below brings—hurls Levi at the edge.

And it's not some fluke. It's brushed again, forcing Levi tighter and stealing the control over his voice.

"Fuck, fuck Furlan. Don't—stop that."

"Don't stop?"

"Fuck fuck fuck," he whispers.

Jaw slack, Levi pants at the ceiling and reels. He doesn't know what that is, but it's too good to be worth stopping and thinking about.

"Oh," Furlan moans. His thrusts turn pointed. "Right here?"

"Don't. P-Please. Don't." His fingers wrench at the sheets.

"Shit," Furlan whispers.

Sometimes, Levi still doesn't know his own strength when it comes to the pleasure Furlan gives him. Distantly, he knows he's thrashing.

Furlan's hand vanishes from his cock and pins down his abdomen, which means nothing as his fingers apply brutal pressure, tight and quick without the least bit hesitation, and Levi is fucking coming before he can even say I'm.

His climax drops on top of him like a ton of bricks, and makes light flash behind his eyes. It's too hot, way too fucking good. He finds himself arching, pushing again Furlan's arm, and his head thrown back, a full, loud moan bursting from his chest.

"Ah, Levi..."

Void of thought, he shakes and grinds to meet Furlan's fingers. All he needs is Furlan rubbing that spot to come hard. It should be unnatural to feel this good. His hips jerk and his cock pulses with each load, all over his stomach. Streaking as far as the dip in his sternum.

He whimpers pitifully as his back lowers back down, but Furlan isn't slowing. He is panting.

Levi's thighs start to quake, and a complaint dies on his tongue. He's oversensitive to the lightest stroke; tingles shoot up from his lower half that are almost pain, but no pain Levi has ever felt was addicting.

"God—dammit," he whines tightly. The way Furlan has him pinned, he can barely writhe. He feels mindless.

"You came so hard—I wasn't even touching you," he breathes, sounding almost amazed. "Still don't want me to stop?"

His firm, pointed rubbing, combined with the way Furlan gently strokes his waist, drives Levi out of his mind until he's keening from the overstimulation. It's too hard to tell. It's tender. Painful-good. Even loving. A short stream of cum oozes down Levi's shaft as it twitches back to life. It never went soft.

"Talk to me, Lev'."

"S..." He throws his head back. "...Too... Fucking can't."

Furlan finally eases up a little, making his strokes light instead. Levi suffers a full-body shiver.

"Slow down," he requests, this time in a way that makes sense. "Other than that it's good."

Furlan's fingers retreat from that spot entirely, and spread instead, stretching him again. Levi feels himself relax as chaste kisses melt against his quaking thigh.

"Good... It doesn't hurt, right?"

"No," he rasps, and loosens up on that damn pillow. It's damp now, and flat, and so he nudges it aside. He ends up touching Furlan's wrist, and gnarls his other hand in the sheets.

"Mhm?"

He cracks his eyes open. When he sees that naked affection on Furlan's face, he wishes he had the pillow back.

But too late.

"Fuck... mmh... no. It's. Good..."

Furlan whispers in a way that implies he doesn't want Levi to hear when he calls him beautiful. Levi's eyes screw shut.

Furlan's fingers piston slowly, as deep as possible. "But do you think you're done? I'll stop, if you don't wanna go again."

Levi shakes his head lazily, his hand wandering down and wrapping around his softened cock. The slippery squelching sounds. He shudders out a sigh. "Nah..."

"Yeah?" A kiss to the center of Levi's chest.

"I'm good."

"Okay. Good."

Furlan drags his lips down his navel, straying to certain scars old and aged the color of milk, tonguing at a raised line, then nuzzling the dark, curly hairs. His tongue spreads flat, and licks. Lapping up the thick, sticky white while Levi watches on, always stunned when Furlan pulls stunts like this.

He doesn't even do it for Levi's peace of mind, he thinks. Licking, sucking, tasting him is just something Furlan likes doing.

Which is embarrassing as it is nice, because Levi is the same way. It's difficult to get enough of Furlan. And scary, is what that is—he has too much experience with loss to feel anything less—but he doesn't have to think about it while Furlan is here, a solid weight between his legs, and doing these things to him.

Furlan... definitely—Levi sighs tightly as his tongue touches his sensitive tip—has a thing for his thighs, too. He stops fondling himself to cradle Furlan's flaming cheek.

And notices the hunched way Furlan's kneeling as—with his navel and dick now slick and shiny from where Furlan's mouth has been—he goes lower. Levi's neck hurts just to watch him.

"Wait," he mumbles.

Furlan stops quickly, so Levi can adjust quickly—pushing that pillow behind his head so he's not stuck staring at the ceiling with his back flat on the mattress when he raises his knees, so the tops touch his pecs.

Levi explains, "I didn't lie when I said I was flexible. This angle's better for you, right?"

Furlan seems stunned as his eyes rake him, down to everything exposed before his eyes. Levi's slick cock hard and laying on his pelvis, down his curves and parted cheeks, and his pink hole, puffy and shiny from the oil.

Furlan wants to blurt out that he likes Levi a lot, or something. He nods rapidly instead, then leans down and closes his mouth on Levi's heavy balls, sucking eagerly.

"Fuck fuck." His hand sinks into thick blond locks. "Oh. That's it..."

His taint seems like such an unassuming spot... so maybe it's just Levi that curls his toes and gasps when it's licked. He can feel him on both sides.

"You..."

Levi is stuck between you don't have to and what're you doing? when Furlan's heavy tongue laps into his rim, replacing his fingers, and pushes inside with ease.

A needy whimper—or cry, Levi can't hear himself over this stretch—is torn from his throat as Furlan groans, and buries his tongue in deep. The thrusting motions make him grab for Furlan's hair, his legs wiggling in useless attempts to close.

Furlan grips Levi's ass, working his palms in and spreading him open as he shamelessly explores.

A real cry has Levi slapping his hand over his mouth when the sucking motions begin, and he hears the slurping. So wet it'd be disgusting if it didn't bring his cock back to throbbing so fast.

A moan bursts from Furlan's chest as Levi both pushes on his head and grinds his ass down, so his nose is snug with his taint and Levi gets the full girth of his tongue. Those whines and high-pitched nosies don't even sound like Levi, and Furlan being the one to drag them out makes him burn.

"I'm ready, I'm ready Furlan, Furlan, ready—" he babbles. "Fucking c'mon you can't make me come again, can't, n' just, fuck your tongue—"

Furlan's head spins. Levi's hole is getting tight on him, and he's just getting louder. It'd be so fucking easy to make him come again.

"Please."

He barely pulls off in time to let Levi down from the very edge.

Levi's legs are shaking. He has the base of his blushing cock in a tight fist, and, a mess dribbling down his knuckles again. He barely managed to hold it together, and it shows.

"Sorry... I kinda got carried away," Furlan huffs, stroking his thighs. His hole is even puffier than before, still clenching.

"That's one word for it." He flicks Furlan's ear affectionately. "I'm ready, I said. Come here."

Furlan's weight feels safe and familiar on top again. One glance down is enough for Levi to see he probably doesn't need more oil, but Furlan reaches for it.

He watches. It's a little hypnotizing. The snick of the stopper. The instant tightening of his expression when Furlan gets his dick in a loose fist, and slowly pumps.

"I could've done that," Levi mumbles. It feels like he's done nothing but lay here while Furlan made him come once, almost twice, with his tongue in his ass, of all things.

Furlan's glazed eyes focus on him. "I know, but no. I mean... to be honest... I think I'd come if you touched me right now."

Levi's eyes bulge. "Then how do you expect to fuck me?"

"I guess I didn't think that far ahead," Furlan chuckles in defeat.

Levi deadpans, and lowers his knees as he pulls and sends Furlan crashing down on top of him. First, he slams their lips together, and calls him an idiot between those kisses.

Second, "Stop worrying so much... I bet you could take one more... right? Maybe even two."

Using Furlan's words against him is a gratifying feeling, especially when he gives in instantly by laughing, forcing their lips apart.

Furlan gazes into his eyes. "'kay... I'll go slow anyway. I'm pretty sure it'll be a lot at first. Even after all that."

"If you say so," he says, with no bite behind it.

Levi bends his knees. His shins touch Furlan's waist, both hands gripping his biceps.

Furlan eyes his grip... and takes one hand down beside Levi's shoulder on the bed. It doesn't move. He's holding his hand.

Levi can only stand to hold eye contact for a moment, and then urges him forward with his heel. "Don't make me tell you again."

Levi's free hand falls to help pin him open, since Furlan only has one free too, to guide himself. They inhale at the same time.

The first push into his rim, the heat and the instant stretch has Levi gasp. It's immediately the most intense thing he's ever felt, done—doesn't matter. "Ah."

Furlan's whiny sigh washes over his face as he eases inside, and rocks back about halfway. Shallow at first.

If Furlan grips his hand any harder, he'll break his fingers. Levi holds tighter.

"It'sgood," Levi gasps, predicting the question. "I'm good. You good?"

"I'm—I'm good." Furlan stoops over him a little more, his arm settling by his head. "You feel... really good." His head lowers to his neck "You're so fucking tight, baby, shit Levi..."

Levi makes an eager noise of agreement as Furlan's lips land on his, barely moving. Kissing just for the sake of it.

Levi groans. The stretch grows absurdly sweet and tight, and then he has it all. Furlan's cock is buried inside him. He's here. Furlan's hips kissing his, and their breaths beating over each other's faces.

"Need... move," Levi mumbles, nosing his cheek. "If you're ready I need you to..."

Their sweaty bodies are pressed from their chests to Levi's ankles crossed behind Furlan's lower back. Furlan's navel pins Levi's cock, creating delicious friction at the slightest movement.

And the movements are slight. Levi needs more, but he hears Furlan constantly, moaning down his throat, swift gasps when he pulls out to leave Levi almost empty, and slams back in so his balls clap against flesh. Their hands squeeze as he stays there, grinding as deep as he can go.

The moan shakes its way out of Levi as Furlan's hips roll, grind in circles, and he can tell, can just tell Furlan is struggling to hold it together. Whining, with his blue heavy eyes struggling to stay cracked open.

It's so full, heavy and warm everywhere—that he can't imagine how overwhelming it is for Furlan to maintain this controlled a pace.

"Faster," Levi demands. He tosses his arm over his shoulders and digs his heels in.

Furlan moans, louder with the next shallow, devastating flurry of thrusts. "I can't I can't—Levi, I won't last."

"Don't care. I—f-fuck—don't care," he speaks hotly into his ear, and tilts his hips. Shivers shake his bones. He rakes his blunt nails down Furlan's back, embracing the feeling of his shifting muscles and mangled scars. "You can come. Come inside me. You've been so fucking careful, you worked yourself up too much, so you better fuck me now like you mean it."

Furlan clings to him and opens his eyes. There's an intensity in them Levi's never seen before, and then all sense of pace dissolves. He cages Levi in, humping in jerky, desperate strokes. Muffled in his neck, Levi can't tell if Furlan is babbling or cursing.

Even though he's losing control, it feels so fucking good. The friction sends sweet volts of pleasure down his cock while Furlan uses him.

Levi raises one of his knees back, giving Furlan more room. He knows the techniques, what to do, which might as well go to use a little.

"Deeper," Levi grunts. "I can handle it."

"Fuckokay." There's a brief reprieve to his pace as Furlan leans up and slides his palm into the bend of Levi's knee, leaving his foot to dangle helplessly in the air.

Groans burst from them both as Furlan's cock suddenly rams in much deeper. It even feels even bigger than before. Levi struggles to close his gaping mouth as their joined hands lands beside Levi's head.

"Mm, shit..." Furlan's slams in. "I'm coming."

Levi feels it in his core and his curled toes, through his dizzy mind as Furlan tenses on top of him, and his hips jerk to a pause.

His eyes roll back. "Levi."

"Ah."

Hammering thrusts resume messier than ever. He ends up pinning Levi to the whining mattress, his leg bent bak as his cock gushes inside.

Levi moans sweetly from the feeling, and simply clings onto any piece of Furlan he can get as his moans fill his ear, and he rides out the rest.

He holds on desperately, decides he likes the feeling of Furlan coming inside him.

But he didn't come. So why is his heart trembling as Furlan's passionate lips land on his, and his hips slow to rocking?

Sex. Levi still doesn't understand this, or his own feelings. He's witnessed the aftermath a hundred times, so he doesn't understand why it feels so comfortable, and warm, and impossible to resist holding onto Furlan tight. Who knew it could be like this?

It must be because Levi likes him.

When Furlan stills to an exhausted stop, his full weight falls down on top of him.

That urgent sense of getting away as fast as he can is quiet at least. Levi kisses his temple, then the top of his head as Furlan lets his leg down, and they lay, still connected.

It's still hard. Levi wants to squirm, the way his dick is trapped, but he holds off. Their hands relax. His fingers ache dully, but he decides it's a good ache.

Furlan raises his head. "Are you okay? I didn't mean to get that rough."

"Ye—Yeah." He's surprised at the tightness in his throat. He swallows to break it down, and tries to rationalize it.

It was good. Furlan is perfect at pausing and all the talking. So intense aside, he doesn't understand why he's emotional.

Furlan leans, and furrows his brows. The satisfaction on his face before is gone. "Hey... Are you crying?"

"It didn't hurt. It was good," he struggles to answer, and covers his face. A silent cry gets through. "I'm not. Fronting. It was good. Stop staring. Sto-Stop."

Furlan kisses his forehead in a ghostly press, and works himself out of him carefully. The emptiness that replaces him is still unsatisfying.

Would he still be emotional if it wasn't? There's nothing here worth feeling sad about, and he knows he's worrying the hell out of Furlan for this, but he can't explain it. The embarrassing need to weep recedes slowly.

"It's okay." He nudges Levi's attention back towards him, where he pecks his lips in a soft, simply kiss, under his clenched fist draped across his eyes.

"Nothing's wrong, Furlan," he whispers.

"I think... it could normal to be emotional if it was good, maybe," he suggests.

Confused, Levi viciously wipes, then opens his eyes. They shine as they search Furlan's. "What?"

"How else do you explain it?" he asks. He looks open to suggestions. "And I don't think I feel... that differently from you, so. There's that."

Levi stares a moment longer, processing that crying can be a good thing, and relaxes. Same as Furlan.

They settle like that, in peace. Levi sighs, his nostrils flaring, and squirms the slightest bit. He's messy, and sticky. His ass feels weird. Either he has to wait for his dick to go down before getting up, or...

Furlan strokes his cheek. "Lay down on your side? I'll do it properly this time if you want."

His eyes crack open. "So you do have another in you."

The side of Furlan's mouth quirks as his cheeks flush a deeper shade of pink.

Levi shares the same look for just a moment before rolling on his side, leaving as much space for Furlan on the towel as possible in its wrinkled, soiled state.

When he raises his leg, he winces in disgust as the shift makes more ooze out of him.

"Don't overdo it if you can't handle something," Levi reminds him. "Your dick is probably raw."

A soft kiss is pressed to his nape. "I think I can handle you."

"You think?"

"Gonna do it now."

"Hm." Levi curves his back and forces his limbs to relax. He knows what to do.

Furlan touches his hip. Levi's heart skips a beat as the soft tip pushes past his rim like it's nothing. Furlan takes his time, still determined to be careful even though he's barely hard and it's plenty wet. The slight stretch seeps the tension from Levi's bones.

Furlan sighs wetly. They both feel him throb. Getting hard won't take long, but Levi relishes this quiet, intimate moment, simply being connected. They're spooning, as if this was some ordinary night. Before Furlan, he'd think this would be pointless.

Levi nibbles on his raw lip—already tender from that exact thing—to stay quiet. Furlan's heavy breaths wash over his shoulder.

Levi links their fingers, and hums faintly as things start to shift. He's forced to adjust as Furlan is getting harder. Anticipation and excitement roils around in his chest, feeling it twitch, and begin to swell.

"How does it feel?" Furlan whispers. Levi feels his tongue, then his teeth against his tender neck.

He's gripped by a shiver. Always his neck. "Good. Ah..." He reaches back and buries his fingers in Furlan's hair. "Getting harder..."

Furlan's voice shakes as he utters even quieter, "You take it so well."

The praise washes over Levi like a wave. He lets it with a barely-restrained whine. Take it so well.

Their breathing is heavier. Laying on his thigh, Levi watches as it twitches, straining, even.

"More," Levi whispers, not knowing what he's asking for.

"M... More what?"

"Hah... How's it feel?"

"You? Soft, and warm. And so tight. You feel so fucking good. I could fucking live inside you, Levi," Furlan moans. His hips barely rock as he guides their hands down, around Levi's base, pumping slowly, together. "You get tighter when I talk..."

His voice is raspy, but needy all the same. Levi wants more of that voice.

"Shut up," Levi mewls. His hips twitch, rocking on Furlan's cock and their fists at the same time. He tries to be silent by locking his throat, but Furlan is fucking him now, and he won't stop talking.

"I wonder what it'll feel like..." He sighs shakily. "Making you come. Feeling you come. I could barely fuck you with my fingers earlier."

"Fuck."

"Good?"

"Yeah."

Furlan pace is steady now, light, but deep. It gives Levi delightful chills every time Furlan's balls gently slap, and faintly squelch. It's like this is... not even for anything. No end in mind. It's like...

Levi squeezes his hand tight, swallowing heavily, and melts into Furlan's hold. "It feels good, sweetheart."

"Yeah?" he whimpers. "For me, too... Half the time I can't even hold you still. But I like it when you lose control like that. You deserve... deserve to come that hard."

"M-Mm..."

Levi forgets what he said about wanting him to shut up. He almost wants to believe him. His voice is addicting. Low, hitched but smooth, like the barely-concealed eagerness in their fists. Words spill from Furlan like he believes what he's saying with just enough uncertainty of how Levi will react. Maybe Levi likes proving him wrong. Maybe the praise is doing it for him.

Levi bites his lip hard as their sweaty temples press together. It still embarrasses him to make requests. "Harder..."

"Bend your knee more, and... Yeah. Good. Good, baby."

"Fuck me," Levi moans. His head falls back against Furlan's shoulder. "Fuck me. Plea—Fuck me."

"I am. I'm taking care of you."

Furlan hammers in more firmly, but without his thrusts getting shallow. When he pushes back in, Levi gets to feel all of it. Filling him over and over. As the speed grows, Levi's gasps do too. Their laziness from earlier has worn away to—

Levi jerks. His hand freezes on his cock, a moan pouring out of him. "There. Shit, yeah, there—"

His hold on Furlan's hand tightens as his head falls back, quivering.

Too much. Need more.

"Fucking—right there?" Furlan grunts. His fist briefly disappears and picks up Levi's thigh, steadying him. "Right there, baby?"

He shudders, groaning tight and strained. "Yeah. Keep going."

Furlan grunts. Harder. Levi's fist pumps faster. He's pinning him open like he did earlier, and every last inch he feels slamming into that spot quickly makes him lose his mind.

"Getting so tight... That's it. You're perfect."

Levi hears himself make a noise he's never heard out of himself. He didn't think his voice could get so whiny. His fingers are nothing compared to this.

His cheeks feel hot as his mind, the noises hitting his ear, and, and the constant wet slapping get away from him, leaving this pleasure in his blood, building, building. "Furlan... Furlan, 'm getting close."

Furlan breathes heavy and shudders with him. "Lev'. Please. Please."

Then Furlan's fist reappears, quickly catching up with Levi's quick pace. He hears himself make another noise he didn't think possible and grinds his teeth, trying to stay still while the trembling grows, his gasps, the explosive heat. His peak is right there.

Furlan moans so sweetly, dripping with need. "Are you coming, baby?"

Levi comes. Every muscle goes rigid, and then he's dissolving into shakes as the loudest and most shameless noise he's ever made falls out of his gaping mouth. Even the squealing mattress isn't as loud.

He hears Furlan's gasp in his ear, "Fucking good boy."

"Fuck!" he wails, his hips jumping into their fists as he spills all over himself.

This is the most intense thing he's ever felt.

It feels like that first wave, the one that shatters lasts forever with Furlan's unrelenting fucking. Levi's eyes roll back, unable to smother himself or stop his jerky thrashing. Furlan has to pin him back again.

He's clenching so tight he's fucking whimpering by the time he can even remotely make out what filth Furlan's speaking in his ear. He shouts when his hips freeze, and Furlan comes right after, moaning Levi's name. The sound echoes around his mind.

Levi shakes. His toes curl as wet heat explodes inside him for the second time. He can't tell if he's still coming, or if he's overstimulated and going crazy from it.

It throbs weakly the last time, a few more pathetic drops oozing from Levi's tip before it's over, and they both drop back down.

That wonderfully drained feeling settles in Levi's blood. He straightens his leg, stunned he has so little strength to lift it. It's nice. The only thing stopping him from dozing off is the swamp that is the sheets, and the sticky mess they've made of each other... and his instincts telling him that relaxed is a dangerous feeling.

They catch their breath back slowly. It takes Levi longer. That feeling, the one that makes him feel he's made of glass, reappears in his throat. He swallows to dissolve it.

He pushes his bangs, pasted to his forehead, off his wet eyes, and feels Furlan's lips in his hair. The next moment, his soft dick slips out of him. The emptiness now leaves him with a deep, burning satisfaction instead of any longing.

"You okay?"

Levi sniffles. "Sticky." He wrinkles his nose, and eyes the towel, which has been crinkled and shoved, laying precariously over the edge of the bed. So much for that.

"Wait." Furlan reaches over, and takes his cheek. It sounds brittle. "You sure?"

Levi avoids it, even more disgusted with his own naked vulnerability. He's getting emotional again. "Yes. I promised, remember? Like you said... it was good."

"...'kay." He relaxes.

Levi squirms, then. "My ass feels weird."

"...Bad weird or good weird?"

"How am I supposed to know...? Feels like someone fucked me just now... So I'm pretty sure that's nothing to worry about."

Furlan's smile kisses his shoulder, but he doesn't truly relax again.

"You good?" Levi murmurs.

"Yeah. I mean. Yes."

Levi feels another conundrum coming on. It feels like he could melt back into Furlan. Their first time, they laid together for ages, but that was the first time. If they do it quick, they usually separate to clean up within a minute.

And back then, clients were gone in under that. Never spoke.

Furlan lays his arm over him, his chest, away from most of the mess, and nudges his leg between Levi's. They're cuddling. This is the way they sleep sometimes. If a little tighter than that.

"Seriously though... Um."

"Should I get up?" Levi asks quietly, brows drawn.

His hold slackens. "If you want to... You can."

That answer sounds a little too distant for their proximity, so Levi backs into him even closer, and pulls Furlan's arm back in place. "You're saying that that's not what I'm supposed to do."

"Wanting to—"

"Getting up. Leaving."

"Oh," he says quietly. "No."

Levi silently sighs in relief. "If you say so."

"Tell me something. That was a lot, and I'd just... you know, if it was good for you like it was me."

He wants to ask if Furlan noticed how hard he came just now, but he turns his head instead, frowning, and kisses him. Soft, once. Twice. He searches his tired blue eyes. "Look. Of all things to feel insecure about, that's not one. What do you have to worry about, about me leaving?"

Furlan's eyes dart away at the question. "I don't..." His brows scrunch. "Well, I like you. And you're kind of all I got now. And... shit, I don't really know."

Levi lets another beat of silence pass. Taking the edge of the towel, he wipes his navel and thighs, enough to hold him over for now, and turns over to properly give Furlan his attention. He still feels a little overwhelmed, but it's better when Furlan immediately welcomes him into his arms. If certainty is what Furlan wants, Levi will give the best he can.

"It didn't hurt. It was good. I'd do it again... along with all that shit you said."

Furlan blushes scarlet. He smiles weakly. "Don't make fun of me for saying it, and I won't make fun of the way you reacted."

His eyes roll. "...Right... You got nothing to worry about, unless I have something I need to do different next time."

"No, no." He tightens the embrace. "It was really good. And thanks for that."

Levi relaxes more. It takes him a little longer to nod. He's not in the mood for more discussion or repeating himself, unless it involves a bath, so he lets himself be held.

"...So we can just..."

"Not state the obvious."

"Bath in a bit."

Levi exhales, a little chuckle, and melts into his arms. "Good answer."

| Levifar masterpost | main masterlist |

#aot oneshots #levifar #aot smut #furlan church #snk smut #farlan x levi #furlan x levi #levi x furlan #levi x farlan #levi ackerman x furlan church smut #levi ackerman x furlan smut #levi x furlan smut #farlan church x levi ackerman smut #aot scenarios #attack on titan #aot ships

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luveline · 9 months

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u never have to apologize for not posting any fics. seriously, we appreciate what you share with us but you’re never obligsted — you come first! sorry you’ve been feeling down lately <3 i hope things get better and you start feeling better too! xx

things have been very slow moving in my household, i’ve been feeling very anxious and been spending a lot of my time just reading because of it lol. most of my chores have been put off for days … i think i have like three loads of laundry to do and i am not looking forward to it😭

😭😭 I do think that you guys are so nice and you say thank you for sharing but I love sharing because everyone is so kind, it's you who I owe a huge thank you to, like 😟 it's really kind

I have been doing the exact same thing but I can't read (I was going to say lately but it's been months) so I've been watching a lot of TV! I have paranoia I think and it has been really bad sometimes to the point where I'm worried to do things in case I get paranoid while doing them. I think i have about three loads of laundry too! I hope things get better lovely, and I hope you've been enjoying what you read, have you read anything good? I've been trying to read all the lovers in the night and a head full of ghosts but im not making much progress with either of them

#jade's asks #ily

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the1trueanon · 8 months

Text

thinking about how Sage/Rosemary's plant motif and gardening connection started out as an aesthetic choice, but have actually grown into being very strong symbolism for how Rosemary is meant to represent life and being lively and being alive versus simply living

because Rosemary is meant to encompass the idea of being human and being alive. while Sage is like everyone else and is very much simply living, her general character being muted and soothing and just existing, Rosemary is designed almost as an exact foil for Wally. where Wally is unsure of expression and emotion and doesn't quite grasp it all, Rosemary is extremely emotive and lively, almost to an overly animated degree. BUT! Rosemary isn't just animated, like the other puppets are. she isn't just bouncy or excitable, or gets frustrated at simple problems. she has crises. she goes through human struggles, as a soul who once was human. she knows what death is, but is grasping to understand her own. she's unpredictable. she's happy and enjoying time with her friends one day, and unable to leave her house from the crushing weight of everything she's experienced the next. she puzzles through existentialism. she doesn't just feel happy or sad or upset, she gets depressed and anxious and lost. Wally can't predict her, he can't tell how she'll react (which I 100% think he can for the others. he's too observant not to, observation is his whole thing), he doesn't understand but he wants to.

and what makes all that even better is she doesn't just go through these things alone, she talks them through with the others. she shares it, she lets her emotions and experiences and overall livelihood overflow into the others. she's so full of life that she passes it on to characters who, frankly (hehe :3), shouldn't have been touched by it previously. and yet by sharing it, she doesn't hurt them more, but instead ends up helping all of them understand and reason through the -- honest to the puppet gods horrifying -- breakdown of a world that once was simple and happy and innocent and safe. they mature with her, and she somewhat unwittingly acts as their guide through that (WHICH. ANOTHER FOIL MOMENT. BECAUSE WALLY IS ROSIE'S GUIDE THROUGH THEIR WORLD AND THE TWO'S ABILITIES TO REACH OUT BEYOND IT).

and I've always loved having that idea brought up, about Rosemary being so lively. "You're so full of life" -- practically the most accurate way to describe Rosemary at any state of being (and, ironically, spoken by Wally, who again, I unwittingly ended up making Rosemary a sort of foil for). She is meant to symbolize life, she and Sage are meant to be this sort of "living vs. alive" thing, where neither is bad but its obvious how different they are! and I just! the idea of Sage, a character essentially set to be a sort of vessel for this human who brings this idea of truly being alive to these guys who desperately need it in a time where just living isn't enough to brave whatever horrors are coming for them now, also bringing things to life as her job and aesthetic is just!! augh, it's such nice symbolism and even a nice lil taste of foreshadowing maybe?? and I love it so much!!

and like! genuinely this all kicked of subconsciously and I didn't start connecting it until I thought about trying to maybe change Sage/Rosemary's motif (which, tbh, I started thinking about because I've designed her Reboot AU version (who I'll be sharing soon ;3 wanna get a good collection of doodles to share with you guys before doing so), who instead has a fashion aesthetic instead of plants. I'm not sure why yet other than I like it and I've been influenced by the dress making videos I keep seeing lol)! and I realized that I genuinely can't because it's not just aesthetic anymore! it's ✨symbolism✨!!

ANYWAYS I REALLY FUCKINNG LOVE THIS PROJECT AND I LOVE CLOWN AND THEIR BIG BRAIN AND I LOVE MY LIL RABBIT AND I LOVE EXISTENTIALISM AND I LOVE SYMBOLISM AND CHARACTER DESIGN AND IM SORRY FOR RAMBLING ABOUT IT FOR A REALLY LONG TIME OKAY BYEEE 💖

#SORRY WH FANS YOURE GETTING BURDENED WITH MY BRAIN'S INSANITY I CANT HOLD IT IN ANYMORE #i wanna share more about my characters #and i wanna get better at sharing #now that im realizing how much i just LOVE character design and breakdown #i wanna share more with you all so you can see why i love it so much 👉👈#SAGE AND ROSEMARY LITERALLY MEAN SO MUCH TO ME #seriously these guys are how i explore so much and so many ideas and i wanna share that with all of you 💖💖#because it really is just so interesting and exciting!!#anon speaks #anon rambles #anon's ocs #welcome home #welcome home puppet show #welcome home arg #welcome home oc #sage clearsky #rosemary louis #welcome home sage #welcome home rosemary #wally #wh wally #wally darling #welcome home wally #welcome home wally darling #characterization #exploring characters #symbolism #✨symbolism✨#character foils #anon rambles in the tags

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doodlemunster · 2 months

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List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who reblogged something from you! get to know your mutuals and followers ♡

I'm SO SORRY THIS TOOK ME WAY TOO LONG

and thank you to @yesitsloulou because I saw you sent me this too and y'all are so so sweet for it. Seriously. I LOVE YOU GUYS SO FREAKING MUCH

Top 5 things that make me happy, let's goooo (strap in this is a long one)

Friends & Family

I'm putting them together cuz technically friends ARE family to me. More and more do I realize just how stinkin important they are and how much they make my day/month/year.

My friends sending me tiktoks/memes they think I'll love or remind them of me, who love me for me and I can be my goofy self with them

my parents being endlessly supportive and hear me out, who sometimes pick me up coffee or snacks simply because they are thinking of me. My mom, who used to take my brother and I to anime cons and would patiently listen to us rant about our latest obsession and STILL does it till this day even though she has no interest in any of it because she loves us that much. Or my dad who will be a big ol' goof and won't stop till he's cracked a smile out of me.

2. Mutuals

I would put mutuals in the friends and family category, but y'all deserve your own spot because otherwise I'd go on forever lmao (also I see mutuals as friends but I know some people might find that TOO familiar and I'm not trying to weird ya out or nothin)

mutuals who leave tags on reblogs, letting me know their thoughts or little comments to me. Or the reblogs on my art and letting me know if you love it or not?? like 'IM OVER THE MOON'. Know that I'm squeeing and kickin my feet and twirling my hair. All of it. Also, seeing how excited y'all are about a certain show, books, fandom etc Even those posts that are like 'reblog if you would gently headbutt with the person you reblogged this from if y'all were cats'. I love that. I mean it when I say that all of this makes my entiiirrree day. I love it and I love y'all!!

3. My Pets

Seeing their cute little faces gets me through so much. They let me hug and kiss them a whole bunch and it fills me with so much seratonin, holy hell. They have helped me on lonely nights, being little supportive spirits when I'm in my head too much or going through a bad break up. If y'all want some cuteness too, heres a pic of the two of them. I lost my sweet Gir last year and it still gets to me. It's also the anniversary of her passing, but she was an amazing dog.

4. CBD gummies

okay so this is left field and sounds goofy, but I struggle with sleep pretty badly. I'm a night owl through and through, so it makes settling down super hard. My brain just won't shut the fuck up. It's caused my anxiety to spike enough to get medicated for it. However, with these gummies I can FINALLY bank on a good night's sleep and for that I am forever thankful. It also makes me feel so damn good too, so it even calms my anxious nerves. It's made me happy to tears, let me tell ya.

5. Baking

Been finding a lot of happiness in trying new recipes. Some of my favorite nights are getting tipsy/high, baking, and watching horror movies. I've mad pie dough, mini pumpkin pies, brownies, no bakes, caramels, truffles, muffins and god its been such a TREAT. I made my friends and family baked goods and it filled me with so much joy.

Thank you so so much for the sweet ask!! <3 I'm so happy to have y'all as mutuals. Seriously, you make the weeks that much sweeter. I hope you are doing great. Sending you lots of love! ❤️❤️❤️

#<3 <3 <3

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atanx · 3 months

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any subnautica character headcanons? especially the side characters, they're my faves :]

Sorry anon im normally better at answering my asks :P but alas exams had two write two in a week :)) not fun but anyway! thank u sm for the ask <3

Hhh I have sooo many character hc i could write a novel anon alvnqjcoqofpqf (partly because i do have a wip all about the subnautica characters and the journey to 4546B + ensuing canon divergence but pssshhhh)

So I think I'm just gonna choose the characters I've thought the most about:

2ND OFFICER KEEN

I hc his name as Roman Keen - I saw it in the fic "Survivors" on Ao3 and honestly I think it's a really good fit :3

He's 28 and has been working for Alterra since he was 17, most of which has been with Captain Hollister, who has become somewhat of a parental figure for him. He joined because of a love for flying and space, which his family disapproved of, and so he doesn't get along great with them.

I hc him as genderfluid - on some days, he feels like a man, and on others, he feels like he had no gender at all. He hasn't got himself totally figured out and mostly uses he/him pronouns, being unsure about how he feels being adressed with other pronouns.

He's a gay disaster and crushes pretty easily and hiding that does not come easily to him, although he mostly manages. When he first sees Jochi Khasar, it's instant aesthetic attraction. He finds him fascinating, and Khasar seems to find him fascinating, too, since he starts flirting with him and they develop a relationship over the eighteen-ish month journey to 4546B.

He's ace, and although fine with talking about sex, isn't interested in having sex himself.

Even though he comes across as stiff, he's not actually all that stiff as a person. He is just very responsible and aware and is thus anxious to fulfil his responsibilities as 2nd Officer to the best of his abilities. For things unrelated to work, he is still responsible and mature but not a stick in the mud. He's a fan of adrenaline rushes and actually used to do illegal racing as a teen.

Keen works well under stress, but as soon as the stress abates enough, he will have a breakdown.

He has an annoying-sibling type relationship with CTO Yu >:33

CTO YU

I also liked the name "Emily Yu" from the same fic as before, and I hc that her Chinese name is "Yu Jian" with 'Jian' for strong, healthy.

She is 29, a year older than Keen, which she teases him with, and has been working on the Aurora for 4 years, since finishing her master in engineering with a focus on spacecraft engineering. She worked herself up the ladder by virtue of 1) having a master's degree 2) hard work and successful projects 3) spite (someone (rightfully) insulted one of her ideas once) and 4) a little bit of nepotism.

I hc her as a cis bi woman who uses she/her pronouns. She enjoys both more feminine and more masculine styles for herself, although her style is rather tame and doesn't become hyper-feminine or hyper-masculine. She doesn't like dresses.

She's into Berkely, with her first being sexually attracted to him and then also experiencing romantic attraction. She enjoys his sarcasm and teasing him.

Even though she likes to be silly she gets serious in serious situations. She has a tendency to think that her way is best and has worked over the years to curb that down and be more open to other people's thoughts. When she does truly firmly think that her way is better though, she will stick to that unless presented with a better option and will put everything into trying to make that work.

In very stressful situations she tends to... sort of zoom out, distancing herself from her emotions and achieving a strong focus to do what needs to be done. Afterwards, she struggles with feeling the impact of what was going on, sort of feeling like it happened to someone else. It's a mild sort of depersonalisation. She works well under stress in general but needs some time to recuperate and destress. If she doesn't, her body will respond to the stress via tense and pulled muscles, headaches, stress-rashes etc.

BERKELEY

I don't have a particular reason why but I hc his first name as 'Cedric'. Honestly not too sure on that, if I find one that clicks more for me I might pivot to using that but this is what I've got for now!

He's 27 and he is not a routine member of the Aurora staff. Instead, he is part of the extra engineers meant to oversee construction of the phasegate at 4546B and hadn't met anyone from the Aurora before. He has a Bachelor in engineering but found studying so unpleasant he decided he was not going to go for a master and instead started and apprenticeship into job on a spacestation relating to phasegate maintenance.

He is intersex, which wasn't noticeable until puberty when he started developing boobs. Because he identifies as a man (he uses he/xey pronouns), he decided to opt for puberty blockers and later hormone therapy. He would have been fine with his boobs but society made him feel really shitty about them and he got top surgery.

He works out very regularly because it makes him feel good and enjoys jewelry and make-up, although he hates bracelets that move because he hates the sensation of them moving and bumping along his forearms whenever he has to tinker with something. He is somewhat introverted, not caring all that much for social interaction, and indulges in sarcasm a lot. He doesn't like the feel of long hair so he always wears it in a buzzcut. He's also chubby and built like a (short) bear.

He actually doesn't cope with stress well at all and only made it through school and a Bachelor's degree by luck, a lot of caffeine and the knowledge that if he doesn't manage at least a Bachelor's, finding a decent-paying job he likes will be very hard in Alterra-space. He finds it preferable to listen to others although not uncritically.

At first Emily annoys him to no end but as he gets to know her better (and she also tones it down) the annoyance changes to fondness. They become good friends and he eventually falls in love with her. He is pan and demi-romantic.

#atanx.txt #subnautica headcanons #subnautica keen #subnautica yu #subnautica berkeley #i have like so many more thoughts but this post is pretty long ready and i thought i owe you to send an answer already XD #so i think i might compile my other thoughts on characters in a different post #if u want to know about a specific char u can also ask and i will try to not let the ask rot in my inbox for several days again akckwkckal #thank u again for sending me an ask :3 i very much enjoy the opportunity to ramble about subnautica #also: ur headcanons and characterisations are valid! the chars in subnautica are blank slates with a few very interesting sprinkles :3 #and i should say that i tried to add intersex representation because intersex people are very underrepresented #im not intersex myself but i did some research and hope this is fine? if its not please tell me and ill change things :333

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