#It just felt so childish:((((((

[northern-passage]

i wrote a 500 word dynamic poem for neo-twiny jam :-)

i rewrote this in a few different ways with a handful of different drafts before settling on just doing a poem; this originally came from a full branching narrative i've had stewing for a while, and i might come back to it one day. but for now i enjoyed channeling that into this poem, which has also been very influenced by the fact that i've been writing hungry vampires for almost 2 months now.... it was also my first time messing with audio in twine, which ended up being way easier than i expected (i'm sure it helped that i only used one audio sample tho)

faith does contain sexual content, and while not super explicit, it is the main theme of the poem.

anyways hope you enjoy and check out the other entries here!

#if u read one day hike it's in the similar vein i guess. sad lesbians...lol #this is VERY embarrassing for me i do not write or share poetry very often so. HRNG #i tried to do more of a narrative style first with choices & an abrupt short voice #but i really didnt like it. felt even more embarrassing than this... #i dont think the way i write lends itself to that style & it felt very amateurish/childish #so i set it aside for a while and kept working on my other project in the meantime #so i think when i came back to it i was feeling partially inspired by what i had written for that which made me rewrite it again #sex and food and desire and hunger... you know how it is #not 100% about it all together but i like it more than the first 4 versions lmfao #i did try to do timed lines as well and it just.. didnt hit for me. i love/hate timed lines you have to really get them just right #or else they're just annoying iykwim #also i was surprised i actually hit 500 words i didnt think i was going to #also also this is a poem in that. i wrote it and am calling it a poem...mnfkjdg #anyways. ough #faith #other writing

[namor-shuri]

“ᴏɴᴄᴇ ᴜᴘᴏɴ ᴀ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴡᴀs ᴀ ʙᴏʏ ᴡʜᴏ ʟᴏᴠᴇᴅ ᴀ ɢɪʀʟ, ᴀɴᴅ ʜᴇʀ ʟᴀᴜɢʜᴛᴇʀ ᴡᴀs ᴀ ᴏ̨ᴜᴇsᴛɪᴏɴ ʜᴇ ᴡᴀɴᴛᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ sᴘᴇɴᴅ ʜɪs ᴡʜᴏʟᴇ ʟɪғᴇ ᴀɴsᴡᴇʀɪɴɢ.” x

#nashuri #tenoch huerta #letitia wright #it’s crazy how timeless this song is 🙌🏾 #namor #shuri #modern au #childish gambino #summer love #guava island #girl from ipanema #fan edit #film #island #vacation #summertime magic #i felt like these two clips from their movies went so well together so then i just ran with it lol #y’all my posts don’t show up in tags anymore 😭 idk how to fix this…

[a-scary-lack-of-common-sense]

I AM!! PUTTING GENUINE EFFORT INTO GETTING A HEALTHIER SLEEP SCHEDULE!! 🎉🎉🎉 *crowd cheering.mp3*

#YAY ME #NO MORE GOING TO SLEEP AT 4AM AND WAKING UP AT 6AM ON SCHOOL NIGHTS BABYYY #THE FACT THAT I AM PUTTING ACTUAL AND CONSCIOUS EFFORT INTO THIS IS ACTUALLY PRETTY AMAZING FOR A STUBBORN BASTARD SUCH AS MYSELF #AYYYYYY #the only problem is that my body got used to living with only 2 hours of sleep and won't!! let me get tired at reasonable times!!! #i am SO AWAKE at 3am it's kinda bad.... #Its not even insomnia- its the ✨️ unmedicated crippling executive dysfunction ✨️ #my post #just wanted to share this because i felt very proud of myself for it!! it's very silly and childish but I AM a child- shaddup #silly chatters

[bunnihearted]

.

#1st ​my sister was passive aggressive bc i was boiling pasta when she wanted to make her dinner #so she slammed stuff nd chopped veggies aggressively #nd i felt my heart rate spike nd my body go tense nd i always get clumsy nd drop things nd hurt myself when i get that way #but they think i deserve feeling awful bc of mistakes in the past so i cant ask them to stop #i've been walking around w lots of heavy things nd im barely keeping it together #nd i got so mad bc she wouldnt stop so i started slamming the cabinets nd then left when i was done #then my mom nd other sister got home nd i just wanted to ask my mom smth #when i open my door my other sister goes 'omfg already?' #'immediately when we get home i never get a break. it's almost disgusting' #i just got so.. i realized how pathetic nd childish i am so i just went into my room #but then apparently my sister said to mom that *i* was the only one being passive aggressive #so she comes in to talk when i was having my dinner so i said that i plz just wnna eat my dinner #she didnt know nd she's never cared but i wanted to hurt myself so badly i was struggling not to #but then she started screaming at me for being childish nd passive aggressive nd that i never do anything #she left my room. she still talks to my sisters so i know it's onlg me shes sick of #idk.. today is bad bc i cant talk to her nd i dont have ANYONE else to talk to im all alone #and now i barely even wanna go outside my room bc apparently my family thinks i wnna mess w them just for going to the bathroom lmao #i hate myself so much. im so pathetic. im 25yrs old living at home being a burden #nd im just a pathetic nd childish person. i 'need' to talk nd vent nd rant nd #like if i buy some things i have these need to like do a mini haul or if i get books from the library #i wnna show my mom what books i got #it's so childish. i do feel bad for my mom to have to deal w me nd my annoying personality #why cant i jusy be normal. no wonder why i can never keep friends or my family doesnt wnna talk to me. everything abt me fkn sucks #anyway im just feeling so bad and so alone bc my moms mad at me so now i have no one to talk to

[ophthalmotropy]

Someone tagged my post about characters with tunnel vision with Basira and I can't even get angry at them because it's not wrong :/ It fits, but I don't like her.

#l33chsp34k #I think I stopped liking everyone minus Jon and Elias in S4 lmao. Except I also started liking Daisy somewhat. #Like it sounds so childish to say it was how mean they were to Jon that did it. But. #Idk. On paper everyone lashing out at the acceptable target would be a narrative I would love. #But it felt like the writers were on *their* side so it just tastes sour to me.

[sequoiareachesforthesky]

Milgram fic idea: the prisoners are bored (as they always are) and they've already celebrated every holiday imaginable. So someone suggests doing a cross-dressing event for a change. Mahiru, Mikoto and Muu help everyone find the perfect fit (Mahiru sews half the clothes herself to make it look perfect).

A bunch of gender crisis ensue.

#milgram #milgram project #milgram fanfic #yuno cuts her hair short “just for the bit” and doesn't grow them back for “some reason” #haruka has a mental breakdown thinking about how his mom wanted a girl and if only he could've been her #fuuta doesn't seem to care that much about presenting feminine. rightfully so. he's rocking this plaid skirt after all #same with muu. she doesn't seem all that changed. after all she knows for a fact she's the most handsome guy at the party #she still feels a bit melancholic for some reason. she wonders if she could go out with girls with this look #shidou has already worn dresses/skirts before. when he was a student he went to themed parties where couples would exchange outfits #he finds it funny. he's quite secure in his masculinity so he's just having a fun time #mahiru takes the role of the prince charming she dreams of. she speaks with a funny voice because she tries to lower her pitch #she's not very successful at it but it just makes her laugh. she's also the one who made sure that everyone felt comfortable in their outfit #kazui is having an existential crisis. he doesn't know what mask to wear anymore. “is this even allowed for me to do that?” #after a while he just has fun with everyone. he doesn't feel the need to drink that much alcohol during the party. he feels young again #amane isn't really interested in all this. she accepted to wear the outfit given to her by mahiru and let her style her hair #but she feels like all of these futile festivities are childish. yet she looks into the mirror every now and then and ponders about all this #Mikoto is in his element for some reason. he likes these kinds of carefree moments #by exploring his gender and presentation he feels like he's getting closer to himself. his identity feels blurry to him sometimes #but this kind of exploration is helping somehow #kotoko doesn't care about all of this. she doesn't really get the appeal of “cross-dressing”. it's just a piece of clothe after all. #the others do find her quite handsome in her tuxedo though #es got woken up by the ruckus. saw what was going on. went back to sleep.

[suddencolds]

.

#not snz and not a vent... just passive musing #had a dream two nights ago where someone who i used to know (and love a little) wished me goodbye with a #kiss to the hand before i flew away from them forever on a magic chair #which is very stud//io g//hi//bli-esque and frankly very unserious but #the feeling of grief i felt saying goodbye to a friendship which i had once held so close to me - and which i know can probably never #be as close as it was at that point in my life - stuck with me for a long time even after i woke up #it's been something i've been thinking about for awhile... but the dream felt like such a concrete and painful severance #i think that like a childish part of me wants to hold the people i'm close to at #the same distance and trust that they will stay there forever #but logically i know it's natural that the people i met under certain circumstances might drift apart once those circumstances change #for one or both of us... i guess friendship really is just a lucky convergence at one point in time where everything aligns #like i know this and i have known this for awhile but god does it hurt #especially those kinds of goodbyes that feel so gradual... not like a clear severing of ties but just a gradual disappearance #i think i probably have to not feel so hung up over what i used to have. and for the most part i am not; life goes on #but for those people? #i sometimes just miss them #there's a special kind of hurt knowing that i could reach out to them and say hello and that they would probably respond but that it might #never be quite the same again

[machathecat]

Y'all I think I might be an age dreamer-

#I don't think it's fully age regression bc I never really felt like a kid again #But like. Just doing stuff considered childish n all is so cool n relaxing #HALP 😭

[svtellify]

does anyone else get that sinking feeling when a friend gets really into something you absolutely adore/have been hyperfixating on, but when you mentioned it, they ignored it (and kinda just ignore you unless and will talk over you to talk to their actual friends to the point where you're not even sure if y'all are friends or just acquaintances) and now they're really liking it and you just. want to gatekeep it bc that interest was (and is!) important to you...

or am i just being childish lol

#shut up k #forever frustrated with how people will act like they're in a clique online too #it's even more annoying when no one was mean necessarily #just kinda snubbing that same interest #and now you're like oh this is v interesting #this is about a twt only oomf btw not anyone here #or anyone on here and twt #but i'm just kinda annoyed bc like. link click was my thing #and i was so ready to share #but when i was you just straight up launched into talking over me to your other friend #it's the first time i've felt too old for that kind of drama #and you're both older than me so this really shouldn't be happening #but anyway i watched all of your favorites first and was excited about all of them to you first #and you ignored them all only to turn around and scream about them to your bsf three days later #which is cool #this is a rant i'm aware i sound childish i'm majorly stressed over an orgo final and this was my final straw #but it's also a pattern #idk the most childish part is wishing you never got into lc #bc now it's not just you ignoring me to talk about it #it's you AND your bsf #which is totally cool #i'm v cool with this #y'all are freaking 23 and i just barely turned 20 and this feels so middle school ugh

[alebrijediscordico]

honestly, how can i or really most artists ever feel worried about our own stories when sinfest exist.

#sinfest #like im barely starting again on the very start of the archive #and its uhhhhh #actually. from a detached stand point is fascinating how part of the childish believes he had a decade ago first lead him to #having a. semi feminism mentally?? i mean. at least he was trying then #just to fall again down the rotting rabbit hole of fascis.m #like i'll say his weird believes on the 2000's felt more empty than the idiotic and confusing present one's. like his past self could #definitely be mad at him for what he has become lmao #im gonna make a liveblog tag if i keep talking about this btw. so yall dont have to see me suffer with this or perceive.... #whatever this comic is.....

[zevrans]

.

#yeah man.. had a few hours of back and forth argument with my friend..idk really if i want to call her that now #but it was an eye opening mess.. it all started with her sending me dreadwolf trailer and i said it's all promises talk #and literally it went downhill from there she claimed that it's been announced like a year ago i said it's been in development for years #it then went to a fandom talk and how she thinks people in fandoms are pathetic and etc bullshit #how being a fan of something is not normal #and being invested in fiction and vgs and fandoms is something ppl with little responsibility do.. #man i can't even write out all the stuff she said i genuinely felt so bad after this argument #i don't think i ever want to speak to her again #people having fun in her understanding is pathetic childish and a sign of a person not having enough responsibilities in life?? #jfc i never realized just how truly toxic she is... #i mean deep down i did i just didn't want to admit to myself.. her general attitude to people being fans of something is just sickening #i'm determined to not write to her at all unless she reaches out which i doubt #she just shitted on everything despite me trying to expain how fiction can even literally save people #i tried expaining to her why some people are telling other ppl to not buy dreadwolf and pirate instead #i said about the fucked over emplyees of bioware and what she said was #it's a cruel world but idgaf it's business cry me a river - something along these lines #she literally has zero empathy i understand it now #the way she only selectively cares about wars going on in world #i said if people can boycott companies that support wars why cant they also support people who suffer from companies #she said and i qoute 'to compare war to people being fired wow that's something' #i was not comparing i just tried to find empathy in her to no avail #anyways.. i am so dissapointed in her and in myself that i didn't see this sooner #tbd

[whentherewerebicycles]

also I KNOW that all my college and high school friends are not actually announcing pregnancies or births at a higher rate than usual I’m just more hypersensitive/attuned to this kind of news than usual but also sometimes I feel an uncontrollable rage in my heart towards these people who are 1) getting pregnant for free and 2) getting pregnant, period. I recognize this as an irrational and unfair emotional reaction! it’s not like these people can help being straight and/or having uncomplicated pregnancies! but also I can burn with suppressed rage and grief about it!!!

#a college friend just announced the birth of her first baby and I am literally in tears of rage and grief about it #even as I am also happy for her! great for them! #like the heart can hold both I guess and this heart sure is busy holding both #I’d be closing in on the end of the first trimester #and instead I am just: nothing #I think the hardest is going to be if my SIL gets pregnant. like I already felt murderous rage when she wasn’t drinking at a dinner #it’s like TOO close you know. I feel crazy with anger about it and I know it’s not fair or kind #and for some reason the money stuff just muddies the waters further #like it feels like I’m just pouring thousands of dollars down the drain every month and all I have to show for it #is one fewer fallopian tube than I started with #and maybe it’ll take them a while to get pregnant but they’ll be doing it for free with two incomes #i just have a childish stomping-my-foot reaction to it sometimes #like the universe owes me anything #I think I am going to start the foster parent online training modules this weekend sigh #I’d like to have everything ready to go or in progress so that if I try for 3-4 more months with no success #I can at least begin the slow painful pivot faster #blah blah pregnancy loss grief #IUI tag

[dutybcrne]

From a very young age, Kaeya held such a fondness for handholding. Whether it was his father clinging tightly to him to make sure he didn’t get lost, Adelinde’s gentle, grounding hand closed over his to comfort him whenever his nerves got the better of him, Crepus’s rough-palmed, firm yet comforting grip as he brought him back home, or, as it was most often of all, Diluc’s warm, yet at times uncomfortably tight hold as he dragged him anywhere, everywhere, determined to always keep Kaeya close and eagerly show him all there was to see, Kaeya treasured the gesture greatly.

Of course, being as shy as he was, initiating it himself was always the harder part. So much so, he would tend to hold pinkies, rather than outright take a person’s hand in his own. Eventually, it would become his most common way to go about the gesture of affection.

#hc; kaeya #//Handholding is one of his favorite ways of affection bc 1) it’s not too overwhelming when it comes to his touch aversion #//The sensation is all focused in one spot; and even then; it’s more grounding than uncomfortable bc of how firm people’s grasp tends to be #//He really took to holding pinkies bc he realized he could ‘test’ people that way #//If it was a bother to them; they wouldn’t blink twice before moving their hand from his hold. so rejection isn’t as BIG; more subtle #//And if they Liked it; they could either accept it as is or make him happier and take firmer hold of his hand #//Once he was more confident; he would go straight to more outright handholding. Klee ofc got that RIGHT from the getgo. Bc she is smol & #liked him from the start. Even if her Pyro energy did make him uncomfortable at first; but he got used to it. for her #//Luc made it easy to go right to it to—the kid would always seem to know when he wanted to hold hands for whatever reason and grabbed hold #before Kae could link pinkies. kae did like the fact that Luc would Pout the few times Kae did link pinkies instead of hold hands #//Pout; & snatch his hand firmly in his like ‘Why did you do that? THIS way’s better’. Love the image of bby!Kae grabbing bby!Luc’s sleeves #but lbr; they deffo held hands a lot as kiddos. Bc we all know just how (canonically) indulging Luc is with whatever Kae wants. Once Luc #//figured him out; it was a Very common sight; seeing Luc tromping around like the proud lil protector he was; & Kae scurrying after him #//Lil subtle delighted gleams in his eye compared to Luc’s more overt confidence and joy. So common a sight; it was no surprise that #Kae was Deffo distressed when Luc inevitably grew out of it. Adjusted; yeah; but the sudden Change was deffo NOT good for his nerves #//Clung to Addie a lot to make up for it; until he heard the maids tittering abt how childish he was being #//He quit that FAST; finding other ways to stave off his nerves and show his affection #//Sometimes when he’s drunk at Angel’s Share; he gets tempted to hold Luc’s hand—an old habit dredged back up bc he wants comfort #//But any sudden moves Luc makes; whether bc he noticed Kae reaching out or not; utterly scare the urge away every time #//He’s made his peace with Luc resenting him; but it still stings that the ONE person he felt closest to is now practically a Chasm away #//Not like he helps any with that; running away or lashing out every time Luc tries to bridge gaps or shows concern #//Sends him into fight or flight mode every time—who’s to say Kae won’t fuck it up and make a Luc regret trying? #//Might as well sabotage it all himself—at least THEN he knows with utmost certainty it will end failure. Whoops veered off topic #//The closer he is to someone; the more likely he ends up toying with their hands a bit—esp if Interested in them #//Likes playing with their fingers; linking; unlinking and slotting them together; tracing lines on their palms #//Cute shit like that. He likes seeing how they fit together; the differences in size and how they feel #//This was all bc I saw a detail from a show pointed out on the Twitter ndnfn. And thought the pinkie thing was SO cute. Anywho #//Hi. Shit happened irl & I am still not 100%. Not saying what bc it’s not a pleasant topic; but know I am ok #//Just a lil tired. But kinda wanna hcs for rn. I had a lil burst of energy earlier today. that was nice. Over a long dead show; no less #//But it helped lift my mood a bit. I still kinda wish I could drink rn tho. Think it’d help my brain rn

[nerflufser]

Oh also lmao just a heads up cuz ima start working on comics for my au.

Zips age has now changed to be 15 when they first met and then like a week later she turns 16.

Ramon x zip is no longer shipped lmao it’s more of a father daughter relationship.

#just so ppl r like. #this looks more father daughter than a ship- #noo zips actually a kid now #I just had more ideas and her character is just very childish #it felt weird and wrong to have ht be an adult. #artists on tumblr #oc shit #clh au #clh oc #clh ramon

[michaelenthusiast]

YOU'LL NEVER GROW OLD TO ME !

#okay look. so this is a drawing of him in his sims playroom. #i made him childish but didn't think it would make him literally childish?? #anyway. he was sad and while he was at work i made his sim a playroom full of toys to enjoy. #i felt bad. #i hope he enjoys it #i love him #michael #myart #in the club crying rn. yes hes insane and kind of a monster but at heart he is still a little boy #he just wants to open up. open up his bruised ribcage and reveal his tender young heart. and let it be cradled. and coddled. #as it should've been. #FUCK. CRYING

[hannibalismos-jaaneman]

will wasn't crying for himself in ko no mono, he was crying for hannibal.

#raj shitposting #they both brush past it but there is an instance in the conversation where will asks hannibal why he killed her... #and hannibal answers as if he was avoiding talking about mischa. which implies that he thought will was talking about her in the first plac #now here's the thing.. this is what makes will emotional not the child he is about to have. it's almost as if he doesn't care. #when he says he'd be a good father it's almost implied that he wouldn't be. and that is true. because he's a good killer. #good killers are bad fathers because they kill their child's childhood. their innoncence. their childishness. #they are clean and merciless with it. they don't take long. and they don't leave a trace. a good killer would never let the child even know #same way gjh did. abigail never realised that he took it all away until will killed him. she only lived with a growing sense of fear inside #hannibal wasn't a good father either he might have not birthed her but he did raise mischa. and he couldn't protect her. he was a child too #this thing is repeated over and over. will wasn't a good father to abigail because he couldn't protect her. at least not for long. #he wasn't a good father to walter either. he couldn't protect his own child for god's sake! will's decidedly a terrible father. #and it's all because of something so primal and deep seated within him that it comes out to play whenever he's trying to be better. #will said he felt as if he was abigail's father because he killed her father. not because he genuinely felt that belongingness. #hannibal's never wanted him to have anything that's not him in his life because he knows he'll never belong to anyone else. #hannibal severes his connections with other people not because he wants to hurt will but because he wants to save him for himself. #he's the same sort of father gjh was. the exact same variety of possessiveness that he strives to hide in the veil of a well wisher. #and will cried for him because he understood that hannibal wanted to be a good father far more desperately than himself because of mischa. #but he was a good killer. that was his nature and he couldn't escape it. #will's eyes basically said oh you poor man. you should've never hoped. you're not what you want to be. you're so much better. #he killed abigail because he's just a killer. that's what he does. he repents it but he does it out of his desperation for will's love. #right... now mizumono hurts even more than it's supposed to. #hannigram #hannibal #abigail hobbs