#Jack mcclane imagine

[adamwatchesmovies]

A Good Day to Die Hard (2013)

Live Free or Die Hard a.k.a. Die Hard 4.0 pushed the franchise to this limits but it's a documentary compared to A Good Day to Die Hard. This fifth and final chapter is a dumb, ugly, badly written film populated with templates instead of characters. Thankfully, it's so thin and unmemorable, it passes by like nothing and then exits your memory.

In Moscow, corrupt Russian official Viktor Cagarin (Sergei Kolesnikov) is strongarming former billionaire and government whistleblower Yuri Komarov (Sebastian Koch). Unless Yuri hands over his secret files incriminating Viktor, Yuri will never see the light of day again. When his trial is interrupted by a terrorist attack, Jack McClane (Jai Courtney) pulls Yuri out of the wreckage and they go on the run. Meanwhile, NYPD detective John McClane (Bruce Willis), unaware that his son works for the CIA, travels to Russia to rescue Jack.

Remember how John McClane’s biggest obstacle in the original film was a floor covered in glass? No one in this movie does. There’s “protagonist armour” and then, there’s the forcefield around this man. At various points throughout, John survives two car crashes within the span of ten minutes and walks away from them without even dusting himself off, he pulls a piece of jagged metal shrapnel from his leg as if it’s a wooden splinter, he jumps out of a glass window without hesitation before falling through half a dozen floors of wooden scaffolding and getting up again to keep the nonsense going. If they make another one of these, they might as well have him flying around the city shooting lazer beams from his eyes. Gaining super powers would be the only thing that could happen to a man who emerges from a pool of radioactive water like it’s nothing. Even Superman has well-documented weaknesses. 2013’s John McClane is IN-VIN-CIBLE.

From the director of Max Payne and the writer of Hitman comes a film that doesn’t care about anything and who banks entirely on an audience blinded by nostalgia. When John isn’t arguing with his son and making fun of him for working for the CIA (what?), he’s the living embodiment of “The Ugly American”. Having demolished the first car he’s stolen, he walks in the middle of traffic. He nearly gets hit by a car. The driver gets out, yelling at him. What does John do? He punches this man in the face, yells at him for speaking in Russian - in Russia - and then drives off with his vehicle. This is our hero?

I’ve focussed my thoughts almost exclusively on John because he’s the only character in the film. Well, that’s being generous. He’s more of a collection of sarcastic remarks than an actual human being. Jack is frustrated and determined. That's it. The villains? They’re a joke. Radivoje Bukvić plays a tap-dancing, carrot-eating baddie who's less threatening than Bugs Bunny. He does suceed in making your jaw fall to the floor, which is something but I can’t imagine what anyone was thinking with that nothing of a role.

There are more plot holes than plot in A Good Day to Die Hard. You think I’m joking, but not really. You'll see the twists coming. Character arcs? The closest thing we get to one is Jack shifting from calling his father “John” to “Dad” near the end. For comparison, here's my short list of things that make no sense:

If Yuri Komarov’s super secret file will expose Viktor Chagarin for the crook that he is, why does he want it back? Shouldn’t he just want Yuri dead so he can’t share it?

How can John and Jack - travelling via stolen car - get to Chernobyl nearly as quickly as a helicopter?

When did they invent those magic wands that can spray steam and make radiation disappear? If those exist, why haven’t they cleaned up all of Chernobyl?

Why aren’t there any police in Moscow? At one point, the villains fly a war helicopter through the city, blasting at buildings willy-nilly. We never even hear a single siren down below.

Why did Irina (Yulia Snigir) kill herself to avenge her father?

How are Jack and John supposed to get out of the country when they’re just created a second nuclear disaster by blowing up a safe full of radioactive materials less than twelve hours after engaging in a high-speed chase that saw at least a dozen cars (and their passengers) get squished?

Why didn’t that taxi driver (Pasha D. Lynchnikoff) ever come back?

I distinctly remember the theatrical release of A Good Day to Die Hard. A friend asked me if I wanted to see it with him. I said yes because I knew that at the nearby Futureshop, I could buy a Blu-ray of the original film and with it, get a promo code to see this new release for less than $3. Did paying less enhance my experience? Not really. I paid nothing to see A Good Day to Die Hard a second time and it sucks even more now! (February 11, 2022)

#A Good Day to Die Hard #Die hard #movies #films #movie reviews #film reviews #John Moore #Skip Woods #Bruce Willis #Jai Courtney #Sebastian Koch #Yulia Snigir #Rasha Bukvic #Cole Hauser #Amaury Nolasco #Sergei Kolesnikov #2013 movies #2013 films

[komotionlessqueenmm]

Imagine # 734

Gif NOT mine. (Found on Pinterest.)

If this gif is yours please let me know, so I can give you credit.

Gif credit goes to - @heartofdevastation

Year posted - 2021

#imagine #gif imagine #Good day to die hard #gdtdh #Jack mcclane #john mcclane #John mcclane jr #good day to die hard imagine #good day to die hard x reader #Jack mcclane imagine #Jack mcclane x reader #John mcclane Jr imagine #John mcclane Jr x reader #John mcclane imagine #John mcclane x reader #jai courtney #jai courtney imagine #gdtdh imagine #gdtdh x reader #die hard #die hard imagine #die hard x reader

[blog-of-a-multitude-of-fandoms]

Pressurised Metal Container - Jack McClane

Pairing: Jack McClane x Reader

Characters: Jack McClane, John McClane, Lucy McClane

Warnings: N/A

Request: N/A

Word Count: 474

Author: Hannah

You weren’t expecting your boyfriend to walk off of that plane with his Dad in tow, it didn’t seem plausible.

Lucy had turned up at your door claiming that her Dad was coming back from Moscow, and that there was a chance of Jack being with him.

Jack had been your boyfriend for around five years, but he’d spent the last three years of that in Moscow undercover so that meant no contact with you.

You were well aware that Jack and his Dad didn’t get along, so it was definitely dubious when Lucy said that they were going to be on a plane together.

John and Jack…in a pressurised metal container...together…for however many hours.

Not exactly the best combination of things.

Regardless of what you thought, you let Lucy drag you to the airport.

“How do we know they haven’t murdered each other yet?” you asked nervously as you watched the plane door open and the steps fold out.

“That will be determined on who walks off of that plane” Lucy answers you with a smile on her face, “You do want to see him…don’t you?” Lucy cautiously inquired.

You turned to her and smiled “Of course I do” you stated simply, and she seemed happy with your response.

A few moments later, Jack came off of the plane, laughing and smiling with his Dad that followed him.

Jack noticed you and you ran towards him, whilst Lucy ran towards her Dad.

“Hey Baby” Jack greeted you, dropping his bag to wrap you up in a hug and spinning you around which cause the two of you to laugh.

“So this is the famous Y/N my son wouldn’t shut up about, the whole plane journey home” John spoke with amusement in his voice and smiled at you.

Jack laughed, and wrapped his arm around your shoulder as he picked his bag up again with his free hand.

“Yeah Dad, this is Y/N. Sorry you never managed to meet her properly” Jack apologised but John just dismissed it.

You held your hand out to John and he shook it, “It’s lovely to meet you” you told him and John nodded in acknowledgement.

“It’s my pleasure Y/N” he responded to you, and Jack squeezed your shoulder “I’m glad Jack is happy with a girl like you” John complimented you with a smile, which you returned.

“Thank you, although it has been three years since he last called” you reminded your boyfriend as you looked up at him.

Jack sighed and kissed the side of your head “Baby, I was undercover” he told you in a soft tone.

You kissed his cheek which caused him to smile “Well I’m not letting you out of my sight for a little while” you promised and Jack’s smile grew.

“A little while? Baby, you��re staying with me for good”

#Hannah #Jack McClane #Jack McClane One Shot #Jack McClane Imagine #Die Hard Series #Die Hard Series One Shot #Die Hard Series Imagine #John McClane #Lucy McClane #Pressurised Metal Container

[michaelpatrickhicks]

Review: Patient Zero (Joe Ledger, Book 1) by Jonathan Maberry

My rating: 5 of 5 stars I've been meaning to read Jonathan Maberry's Joe Ledger series for a number of years now. Having finally dived into Patient Zero, the first Ledger book, I'm immediately left kicking myself 1) for having waited so long, and 2) because now I have a dozen audiobooks between the core Ledger series, short story collections, and an anthology book involving Maberry's creation that I must proceed to binge posthaste. Imagine 24 with zombies and you have a very basic understanding of Patient Zero's framework. Joe Ledger is an action hero in the Jack Bauer mold, or maybe John McClane is a more apt comparison given Ledger's tendency to crack wise and spurn authority, up against a ticking clock and a seemingly endless supply of terrorists to confront and kill. What could have been your by-the-book post-9/11 military thriller, though, is elevated to a whole other higher level of bad-assery by a wonderful mixing and intermingling of various other genres. Maberry introduces us to the Department of Military Sciences (DMS) in a book that leans heavily on its genre tropes but succeeds in making them feel if not entirely original than at least fresh, comfortably familiar, and welcome. Riding high on the success of 9/11, a band of Middle Eastern terror cells within the US are preparing to launch a biological weapons attack that will introduce an unstoppable plague and destroy America. If not for the welcome injection of plenty of high-tech wizardry and terrific horror-based set pieces, Patient Zero could have been just another Vince Flynn clone. Instead, Maberry takes the military technothriller and turns it sideways by forcing a team of special ops point-men (and -women) to confront a horror genre staple. The bioweapon isn't just your run of the mill plague virus, like Ebola, but a genetically engineered plague that can spark a zombie outbreak. To put it simply, Patient Zero is freaking awesome, and the premise behind it is brilliant. Maberry's taken two of my favorite genres - military technothrillers and horror - and smashed them together into a wonderful, perfectly formed hybrid. This sucker is practically non-stop action; a mid-point set-piece at a warehouse is deliriously violent and intensely claustrophobic, and the story is routinely punctuated with gunplay and fisticuffs galore. In addition to all the brawn and bravura there's a whole lot of brains - and not just the zombie food stuff! Maberry takes the zombie genre and explores it from an honest-to-goodness real world basis. What are the military tactics that would be used to confront such an outbreak? The forensics? The actual science? We spend a lot of time in the field with Ledger and his crew of Echo Team, but Maberry doesn't shy away from all the lab work and biochemistry that goes into giving Patient Zero a grounded, realistic edge to make it all scarily plausible. It's clear a helluva lot of thought and research went into making Patient Zero a credible thriller, one that's as high in science and combat acumen as it is in horror. Making it even better, though, is Ray Porter's narration. This is my first Porter audiobook, and his reading here is impactful enough to have sold me on the rest of the Ledger series in audio format. This dude is an outstanding narrator and Patient Zero showcases his versatility marvelously. He can really sell the rapid-fire action but it’s in the deeply emotional moments of combat and the resultant fallout from the darker corners of zombie violence Maberry writes where Porter truly shines. He’s incredible to listen to! Porter draws you in with subtlety, gets your blood pumping at the intense highs of a grueling action sequence, and then emotionally devastates you with a perfectly delivered line. He's a seriously phenomenal talent, and in Joe Ledger Maberry writes a multidimensional hero that allows Porter to give a nuanced and multi-layered performance. Ledger is a smart-ass tough guy, but one who also possesses a highly welcome degree of self-awareness. He understands his propensity for violence and the consequences of his anger. The dude is blessedly in touch with his feelings, something more of our masculine action heroes could do with, and not only regularly meets with his therapist, Rudy Sanchez, but is freaking best friends with the guy! He even encourages the testosterone-laden boys of Echo Team to consult with Rudy and emotionally unload after some particularly nasty encounters. It's absolutely wonderful to see such a positive portrayal of mental health and from an alpha male hero no less. Fantastic work, Mr. Maberry (and thank you). Patient Zero hit all the right notes for me the whole way through (although I do have some questions about Ledger's military history, which I suspect runs a bit deeper and blacker than is alleged here, but only time will tell), and I positively love the horrifying spin Maberry has given the military thriller. I mean, Jack Ryan and Mitch Rapp are great and all, but they ain't fighting zombies, so Ledger is already at least one step up from those guys. Maberry very well may have just ruined Tom Clancy and Vince Flynn for me in one fell swoop, in fact (but again, only time will tell there, too). View all my reviews

#Patient Zero #Jonathan Maberry #Ray Porter #Blackstone Audio #horror #military thriller #audiobook #audiobook reviews #book reviews #Joe Ledger

[oosteven-universe]

Brooklyn Gladiator #1

Brooklyn Gladiator #1 Heavy Metal 2020 Mature Readers Title Written by Dan Fogler & Andrew Harrison Illustrated by Simon Bisley Lettered by Crank!    It's 2033, New Yorkers survive on scraps in a despoiled America. John Miller is an action hero for the ages, a rough and ready badass who could drink Han Solo, Jack Burton, and John McClane under the table. Brooklyn Gladiator is a tribute to the comics, films, and experiences that have inspired author Dan Fogler.    Well this is certainly for mature readers only and it’s not safe for work, the book or the review, so with that being said let’s get this party started shall we.  The idea here is pretty good in that it depicts a very distinct future and one that has just a few traces of what could happen to make this extremely more interesting and entertaining than you might begin to believe.  I am a fan of the whole historical fiction genre and while this may not be the past it certainly counts as what the future holds, based entirely on how we see current events.  So whether this could come to pass or not it has this incredible science fiction element to it that is so much fun.    I am enjoying the way that this is being told.  The story & plot development that we see through how the sequence of events unfold as well as how the reader learns information is presented extremely well.  I like how the running narrative is being utilised here as John takes us through his life, the city and what is happening in this world.  It is an interesting take and it helps since we seem to have found ourselves in the midst of an ongoing story.  By this I mean he’s already on the move and running for his life, not that we’ve missed anything as of yet.  The character development that we see is so integrally tied into the story development at this stage that it's freakin’ amazing to see.  We see and learn more about him in this one issue than some folks are able to do in several.  The pacing is sensational and as it takes us through the pages revealing this world and the twists & turns along the way it’s easy to see how everything works together to create the story’s ebb & flow.    I am a huge fan of Biz and the work that he does.  Right from that first page where we get to see his creativity and imagination unleashed, including those boobies, well it’s like welcoming back an old friend you haven’t seen in ages.  The man has this style and panache to his work that makes instantly recognisable and to see how he creates the detail work that we see is fabulous.  The way that backgrounds are utilised and made integral to the story is beautifully rendered and they give us depth perception, a sense of scale and that overall sense of size and scope to the book.  The utilisation of the page layouts and how we see the angles and perspective in the panels shows a remarkable eye for storytelling.  The colour work is amazing as well.  How we see the various hues and tones within the colours being utilised to create the shading, highlights and shadow work really are a joy to see.   Light sources casting that different hue or the giant advertising all done in those blues it all just demonstrates someone who understands to colour their own work. ​    Decidedly original and crass beyond belief this is the kind of storytelling we used to have to hide from everyone.  It is utterly fantastic that this is now mainstream because the way this is structured and how the layers of the story reveal themselves all the while wrapped up in this unapologetic stellar artwork, well it’s the stuff that thrills us.

#Comic Books #Comics Reviews #Heavy Metal Comics

[iammarylastar]

Here you go! Final chapter! 11. McClanes. Jack throws his CIA badge on McKay's desk. "I'm done McKay. I quit." "What? You can't do that! You're one of our best man here!" Chief McKay whimpers.  "Your best man is tired of this job. I've been shot, hit, stabbed, threatened to death, punched and kicked enough for a lifetime. And I'm mandated by my wife for giving you her resignation as well." He slams a handwritten letter under his nose. "Your wife? You and Shade got married?" McKay ticks. He thinks he would count among the guests. "She was supposed to marry me 5 years ago. I won't wait another minute before making her mine. She almost died, chief, I could have lost her and Anna. I have a family now, I can't jeopardize it for some motherfuckers." He hands McKay a wedding invitation. "Shade insisted to have you with us. Next month. No excuses accepted." "Fuck. You almost made me cry McClane. My two whiz kids of the intelligence let me down and get married . What would happen to people of L.A. without you?" "They will survive. Mostly because John McClane is going back to New York and we're moving with him." Jack can't help but smile. New York. New life. New start. Shade made it just to testify at trial and thanks to her proofs and bruises, Varela and his minions got a one way ticket to the maximum security wing of Santa Anna jail. Anna. Jack's heart stops at the reminding. He ran in the debris in fire, the safe house was nothing safe nor house.  No roof, no walls, nothing left. Only dust of his so short happy life. Anna. Where was she?  Jack was not ready to face the death of his daughter, he had known her existence for less than a week, but had fallen in love instantly. John was right she looked like him so much. He loved the sound of her laugh, the glitter in her blue eyes, the scent of her hair warmed by the sun. The softness of her skin, her fingers running through his stubble, her lips pecking his cheek. But it was gone. She was gone. He couldn't wander in the destroyed basement anymore, there were only jagged wooden pieces, fishing stuff and an old shredded couch. And a reversed bark; he planned to bring Anna for a boat ride that day. Jack fell on ̂his knees. Shade had been shot but she was strong, with John taking care of her bleeding, she would surely make it. But Anna. She was young and innocent, fragile and defenceless. He was the one supposed to take care of her, protect her. He was the professional hired for her safety. He failed. Miserabily. Unforgivably. He slammed his palms on his face, scratching his skin with ferocity.  He wished he was dead instead of her. His little princess.  Images of her shiny face and laughs flashed before his eyes, he burst into tears. Cries. Useless cries. He could have saved her life if he had acted like a pro. Prostrate, devastated he bent down and let his rage and regrets scream out. His hand landed on something fluffy and soft. Anna's bunny. John bought her the stuffed animal during their trip to the safe house and Anna and Bunny became inseparable.  Jack grabbed the toy and crushed it on his chest. The last souvenir of his daughter. His eyes glanced at the spot where he found the bunny and tried to focus despite the river of tears. Under the rim of the boat, a tiny hand. Dirty and grey.  A finger moved.  Jack jumped forward and threw the boat over with all the force he had left.  Anna. A petrified, trembling girl laid there. Alive. "Dad." The little girl whispered. "Are the bad guys gone? Mom told me to stay hidden and grand pa showed me that hole. The better hole of the house he said." Jack rushed to her on all four and caught her, wrapping his own flesh and blood in his arms. "Anna! Baby... my baby..." he couldn't stop crying, laughing, kissing and stroking his daughter altogether. "You won. The bad guys are gone. They couldn't find you so they left. You won baby." "John!" he screamed. "John! I got her! She's safe! " All his forces left him. He kept cuddling Anna, rocking her back and forth on his lap. And stayed glued to her until the cops arrived.  They made the healthy decision to leave Los Angeles to protect her. Jack and John killed most of Varela's henchmen but they'd rather be twice careful, to avoid any retaliation.  Shade already planned to open a yoga and kravmaga center. The Yin and the Yang in the same woman. She could both soothe your pain or kick your ass. She's fantastic. "New York? OK. Let me warn the N.Y.P.D. about that bad news. " Chief McKay fakes to make a phone call. "See you next month. Without fail." Jack says, leaving. "I warned you McClane! What have you got yourself into? No hanky panky during the mission!" McKay shouts for Jack to hear. "What had I in mind?" He whispers to himself. "McClanes never give a shit to orders." * It didn't last long before Jack and Shade got married. A few weeks, time for Shade to recover from her surgery and bruises. Molly nearly choked when hearing the unexpected news. She was a granny. Jack was going to marry the love of his life, a woman whom she had heard the name once or twice but never had met. Jack, Shade and Anna, and that asshole of an ex John were her fucking family and everybody could have died while she was having a scalp massage and a manicure.  Lucy jumped up and down, clapping her hands, singing on the top of the roofs "I'm an aunt! I'm a fucking aunt!", then blaming her brother to have had an interesting father-and-son week-end while hers had been boring and uneventful. They grew to know each other, mostly at the hospital during Shade's recovery. Jack took residence in her room, at the ICU first, then at the viceral surgery wing, finally in rehab, the bullet in her shoulder had made more damages than expected. He didn't give a fuck where she was transferred and followed, calling Shade his home. Anna was so happy to spend time with her new aunt and granny, but always asked to stay with her parents. Everyone agreed she could skip the last month of school, Anna in first place. "I already know everything there is to know at school. All I need to know now is my Dad, and he needs me to show him what to do." She stated.  "And mom needs someone to keep Jack from being all over her all day long. She needs her rest! " the little girl scolded her father, hilarity ensued. Molly and Lucy had some girl chats with Shade, while the guys had a walk outside with Anna, laughing at Jack and his stupidity and cowardness, blaming the McClanes for their lack of common sense when it was about love. Mrs and Miss McClane are now all scrubbed up, overstressed and over excited, running here and there, checking the food , the music, the flowers, the chairs, the cake, their hair and make-up. As perfect hostesses, they're welcoming and chatting with the numerous guests, mostly cops and MacClane's relatives. Shade's guests are reduced to chief McKay, Anna's nanny Kendra, two moms from Anna's school, and few friends from her yoga class. Jack insisted on a reluctant Shade to call her family, arguing that if the MacClanes could have done it, her broken parents could follow. Shade gave a call, Jack by her side. "Hello? Mr Johnson?" She asked when a tough hoarse voice answered.  "He's dead. What do you want." The tone was rough at the end of the line.  "Mom? " Shade hesitated, thrown into the nightmare that her childhood had been. "It's Shade..." "Shade who? " the voice coldly said. Shade dropped the phone and stayed stone-faced until Jack wrapped his strong arms around her and said it was ok. Shade then, let go all the tears and sorrow she had been holding back for so long. She left the house at 15, and ran to save her life and her virginity. Her father started to find the curves of her hips and boobs tasty and his touch changed. She'd rather liked when his fists took her as a punching ball.  Jack wrapped her in a warm and safe embrace, hugging and rocking her, so sorry to have forced her in this mess. He had become addicted to hugs, particularly with Anna, and practiced his new skill on the two women of his life as often as he could.  Jack and Shade planned the simplest wedding ever. None of them really cared, being finally united as husband and wife was all that mattered.  If it was up to them, they would have opted for the quickest ceremony, no guests but John, Molly and Lucy, Anna running around and twirling in her beautiful dress. Jack even proposed to skip the wedding and  jump directly to the honeymoon. Molly pulled Jack's ear and scolded him, no way she'd wed his son like this; she had to marry him with pomp and ceremony.  Shade laughed heartily and agreed to all Molly and Lucy proposed, on one condition that they took care of everything and leave them alone. Jack had only one request. The gifts Jack had imagined and designed for that special day lay on the central table, beautifully arranged around a wedding picture of Shade and Jack saying: "Boo and Cupcake". Cupcakes with tiny koala bears on top, boomerang tied on their backs. Shade hated the caption but found the idea so cute. "John McClane Junior!" Jack hears from behind. Turning around he's met with an all scrubbed up John Senior, a large smile spread on his face. "Dad! You look fucking dapper! You're not late, nor burned or bruised, that's amazing!" Father and son open their arms and share a big, male hug, patting the other's back like to make a hole in their suit.  "Grandpa!" Anna rushes then jumps on John as he opens his arms to welcome the little girl. "Anna you look gorgeous! What's that beautiful dress you're wearing? And you tied up your hair? You look so wise with a ponytail." John walks away, chitchatting wedding gown, make up and little ponies with his granddaughter. Shade radiates, her long hair cascading around her shiny face, too happy about this day to bother to get things ready. Who would care? She's about to marry her lover, her saviour, the father of her child. Jack comes behind her and wraps his arms around her waist, catching her hands and intertwining their fingers together. "Ain't the groom supposed to not see his bride before the wedding?" Shade leans her head back on his shoulder. Jack chuckles and whispers in her ear: "Ain't the bride supposed not to sneak into the groom's room and give him the best sex he ever had?" Both sigh at the memory of Jack, up to his knees behind Shade, thrusting slowly inside her, one hand gripped on her breast while the other rubbed her soaked pussy, guided by Shade's hands and moans. Her sweaty back leaning on his hairy chest, his teeth grazing her shoulder, he fought not to bite her soft flesh; leaving visible marks on her would have been noticed by all the guests. "Dear husband, more remains to be done during our honeymoon..." she teases him, lightly wiggling her ass against his hip.  They stay in a comfortable silence for a while, lost in their own thoughts. "How are you Honey?" Jack asks. "Fine! I can't wait to marry you. I'm still waiting for some troubles to happen. But with all those McClanes around, I'm pretty confident everything's gonna be under control." She laughs.  "Are you sure you're OK? I called you Honey and you didn't punch me or point a loaded gun on my face." Jack nuzzles his face in the crook of her neck, and pulls her closer. "You did? Maybe I'm getting dumb by love. I love you Mr. McClane." She purrs.  "I love you Mrs. McClane." Jack whispers in her ear before capturing her lips. Pulling back, Shade takes her husband-to-be's hands and gently lays them on her stomach. "Actually I'm known as McClanes." Jack flips her to face him, his eyebrows quirked in surprise. "Are you...? But.. " "How could have this happened? Jack, we fucked like rabbits." She laughs at his stupidly blessed mug.  He laughs out loud, hugging his so romantic wife-to-be . She is awesome. "Yeah... I second that. I'm just so proud of my ability to knock you up so fast." He shows off. "This little one is already a McClane. Stubborn and unbreakable enough to survive a shot and a surgery." Shade has been used to the strong personalities of the clan. "So boy or girl? What do you want?" "I really hope it's a girl. I don't think the world could handle one more John McClane." She laughs before moulding her mouth to Jack's. The ceremony was beautiful. None gave attention to the pastor's shit. All the eyes were focused on the pair of lovers. Nothing mattered. Fuck the 20000 $ wedding gown, fuck the wedding pic on the beach, fuck the first dance on Sinatra's "Fly me to the moon" -they finally have opted for "I got you under my skin" as their first dance song, way more appropriate-. Nothing mattered but the two of them. Jack and Shade were lost in each other's stare. Their hands firmly intertwined, so close their noses almost touching , their lungs breathing the same air.  They barely heard the pastor say the words, he had to ask the question twice and cleared his throat to have the couple back to the world. Shade said 'I do'. Jack said 'fuck yeah I do.' and attacked the lips of his newly wed.  "By the power vested in me by the state of California, I pronounce you husband and wife. You may..." the pastor glanced at the couple still busy in a passionate kiss. "You're already kissing the bride." In their back, John took Molly's hand and brushed the tears from her eyes and shouted: "Yippi-kay-yay kids!" @kenzieam @pathybo @frecklefaceb @oddsnendsfanfics @badassbaker @beltz2016 @captstefanbrandt (for later) @bookwarm85 @red-diary @angelswannawearmyredshooz @singingpeople @beautifulramblingbrains @liendre50 @lunaschild2016 @jaihardy @jaicourtneyseyes @jojuarez26

#jack mcclane #live and die hard #11 #McClanes #Jack and Shade

[lumierebros]

Movie Buff Questions

1. Favorite action film?

Imogen: Die Hard, Terminator 2

Shakya: The Dark Knight, Terminator, Alien, Ip Man +any Tarantino

2. What movie(s) could you watch over and over and not get tired of?

I: Grease, Inception, Gone Girl, Superbad, Hot Fuzz

S: There Will Be Blood, Deathproof, Grease, Django Unchained, Birdman, Whiplash, plus again, any tarantino let’s put it at that)

3. Any old school favorites (pre-70s)?

I: Rear Window, North By Northwest, Breakfast at Tiffany’s

S: On the Waterfront, Citizen Kane, Rebel Without A Cause, Psycho, A Streetcar Named Desire, Casablanca, Singin In The Rain, Dr Strangelove, 2001, Invasion of the Body Snatchers, The Apartment, The Graduate, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, 12 Angry Men, Ben Hur are allllllllll amazing

4. Top 5 directors?

I: David Fincher, Sofia Coppola, Christopher Nolan, Wes Anderson, Denis Villeneuve

S: Paul Thomas Anderson, Martin Scorsese, Stanley Kubrick, Quentin Tarantino, Coen Brothers, Damien Chazelle/Alejandro G. Iñárritu

5. Favorite dead actor/actress?

I: Grace Kelly,  Heath Ledger, Audrey Hepburn, Anton Yelchin

S: Heath Ledger had a lotttt of potential and Brando was great too

6. Favorite movie from the 90’s?

I: Clueless, Fight Club, Seven, Saving Private Ryan, American Beauty

S: Goodfellas, American Beauty, The Big Lebowski, Boogie Nights, The Usual Suspects, Good Will Hunting, Reservoir Dogs, Fargo, Dances With Wolves, Scream, Sister Act, Trainspotting. American History X, Forrest Gump, Casino, Leon, Schindler’s List, Jurassic Park I could go on and on

7. Ever been/are you such a hardcore fan of an actor actress you watched/will watch any movie they were/will be in?

I: James McAvoy

S: Christian Bale, Gary Oldman, Leonardo DiCaprio

8. What movie are you looking forward to coming out the most?

I: Star Wars the Last Jedi, Blade Runner 2049

S: Alien: Covenant, Dunkirk

9. Pixar or Dreamworks?

I: Pixar

S: Pixar, but Dreamworks for Sinbad, Prince of Egypt and Spirit

10. Favorite animated movie?

I: Fantastic Mr Fox

S: Spirit, Fantasia, Ferngully

11. Favorite musical?

I: La La Land, Grease, The Lion King

S: Singin’ In The Rain, Grease, Moulin Rouge, La La Land, Oliver!, The Sound of Music, (does High School Musical count )

12. Are you against book-to-movie adaptations?

I: Nope

S: Noooo

13. Your guilty pleasure movie(s)?

I: The Narnia movies, X-Men Apocalypse, The Proposal

S: Burn After Reading, Snatch, In Bruges + Independence Day, Ace Ventura hahahaha

14. Robin Williams or Eddie Murphy?

I: Robin Williams

S: Robin Williams easily

15. Favorite chick flick?

I: Clueless, Ever After

S: When Harry Met Sally (is that a chick flick or)

16. Ever watched a movie just because you heard the effects were awesome?

I: Star Trek (ending up loving it), Avatar

S: Avatar, Gravity, District 9

17. Favorite indie film?

I: Memento, Lost in Translation, Drive

S: Reservoir Dogs, Drive, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind, American History X

18. Favorite movie heroin?

I: Sarah Connor, Princess Leia, Liz Bennet, Lisbeth Salander

S: Ellen Ripley

19. Favorite movie action hero?

I: John McClane, Indiana Jones

S: Jason Bourne, The Terminator (arnie)

20. Ever read a book so you could understand the movie?

I: Gone Girl, The Life of Pi

S: A Clockwork Orange: Watched the movie to understand the book, but never got past the first 20 pages or past the rape scene in the film

21. Favorite kids movie?

I: How To Train Your Dragon, The Parent Trap

S: Space Jammmmmmmmmm

22. Favorite Disney movie?

I: The Beauty and the Beast

S: Snow White (childhood fav)

23. Favorite movie soundtrack?

I: Anything by Hans Zimmer, Howard Shore (LOTR)

S: Anything by Hans Zimmer, Justin Hurwitz and Howard Shore. PLUS Proven Lands - Jonny Greenwood, Dirty Walk and Doors and Distance - Antonio Sanchez, Revenant theme- Ryuichi Sakamoto, Nightcall- Kavinsky, The Child Pt. 1 & 2- Jed Kurzel, any classical pieces in Kubrick films.

24. Movie that makes you cry every time?

I: Atonement, Schindler’s List

S: Schindler’s List, Titanic hehe

25. VHS, DVD, or Blu-ray?

I: I watch my stuff online srry

S: VHS was amazing, we had a massive collection when I was younger. Nowadays I would say Blu-ray purely because of quality. Quality of sound is more important to me though (BOSE!!!).

26. Best experience going to the movies

I: Seeing Star Wars The Force Awakens in Gold Class

S: When my boyfriend randomly picked me up at 10pm to go see Arrival as a surprise because I’d mentioned I wanted to see it once.

27. Top 5 actors?

I: Matthew McConaughey, Christian Bale, Ryan Gosling, Ethan Hawke, Leonardo DiCaprio, Daniel Day Lewis, Ewan McGregor plus all the ones Shakya mentions that I don’t mention-- I LOVE EVERYONE

S: Daniel Day Lewis, Leonardo DiCaprio, Kevin Spacey, Robert DeNiro, Jack Nicholson, Gary Oldman, Christian Bale, Ed Norton, Benicio Del Toro, Christoph Waltz, Javier Bardem

28. Top 5 actresses?

I: Amy Adams, Lupita Nyong’o, Viola Davis, Naomie Harris, Felicity Jones, Natalie Portman, Kate Winslet, Brie Larson

S: Natalie Portman, Frances McDormand, Emma Stone, Ellen Page, Julianne Moore, Amy Adams, Michelle Williams, Kirsten Dunst

29. Movie you completely regret seeing?

I: X- Men The Last Stand

S: 2012, The Accountant, Pacific Rim, Nymphomaniac P1 & 2

30. Movie you wish was never made?

I: X-Men The Last Stand HAHAHA

S: Eragon

31. Movie your parent showed you?

I: The Wizard of Oz, Grease

S: Legit everything, we still have Movie Night every Friday (and we’re not allowed rewatches)

32. Last movie you watched?

I: The English Patient

S: The Apartment

33. An overrated movie?

I: Batman (1989), also agree about The Notebook

S: The Notebook, Super 8, 500 Days of Summer, Brokeback Mountain, Zoolander, Rain Man

34. An underrated movie?

I: Before Sunrise, In Bruges, The Nice Guys

S: Nocturnal Animals, Drive, Snatch, Blood Diamond, Dogma, Biutiful, Tree of Life

35. Favorite comedy movie?

I: Hot Fuzz, Superbad, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Blazing Saddles

S: Burn After Reading, Tropic Thunder, Annie Hall, The Big Lebowski, Wayne’s World, Snatch, Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey, Borat

36. Movie quote you live by?

I: “I’m so much happier now that I’m dead. Technically, missing.” You know, bc fuck Nick Dunne.

S: There’s not any quote I LIVE by but I do love this scene:

‘Michelangelo? You know a lot about him. Life's work, political aspirations. Him and the pope. Sexual orientation. The whole works, right? I bet you can't tell me what it smells like in the Sistine Chapel. You never actually stood there and looked up at that beautiful ceiling. Seeing that. If I ask you about women, you'll probably give me a syllabus of your personal favorites. You may have even been laid a few times. But you can't tell me what it feels like to wake up next to a woman and feel truly happy. You're a tough kid. I ask you about war, you'd probably throw Shakespeare at me, right? "Once more into the breach, dear friends." But you've never been near one. You've never held your best friend's head in your lap and watch him gasp his last breath lookin' to you for help. If I asked you about love, you'd probably quote me a sonnet, but you've never looked at a woman and been totally vulnerable. Known someone that could level you with her eyes. Feelin' like God put an angel on Earth just for you, who could rescue you from the depths of hell.’

37. Movie quote that will always make you laugh?

I: “Where the white women at?”

S: ‘I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast!’ ‘You eat pieces of shit for breakfast?’ -long pause- ‘No!’

‘Shut the fuck up fat man this ain’t none of your goddamn business’

‘I have uh..uh.. lactose reflux’ ‘You’re lactose intolerant or you have acid reflux? They’re different things’

‘A shootout is a fucking shootout!!....Like a Western’

‘You think that’s a Schwiiiiiin’

‘I eat the Canadian? I don’t know what you’re talking about’

‘I don’t read the script, the script reads me’ ‘What the hell does that even mean??’

‘oh nothing Tommy, it’s….tip-top, it’s just i’m not sure about the colour’

All the other quotes I find funny are completely random movie quotes that my family has just turned into a joke and that we can easily incorporate into conversation e.g. ‘whadaya gonna do ranger rick, shoot me?’ ‘I could do that’, ‘you sir, too sir’, ‘I don’t want Nenat’, ‘I drive’, ‘you want uhhh money or something’, ‘yeah i like dags’, ‘there is no spoon’ ETC you get the point

38. Film(s) you’ve watched on a date?

I: Any action/superhero movie that has come out recently.

S: The Conjuring 2, La La Land, Arrival, Sausage Party, The Accountant (bf loves accounting but it was shit), Fantastic Beasts, Captain America: Civil War, Shine (anniversary reshow with Geoffrey Rush doing a q&a after teehee), Nocturnal Animals, Suicide Squad, Moonlight, Sully, War Dogs, Jason Bourne, heaps more that I can’t remember

39. Favorite cult film?

I: Pulp Fiction, Fight Club

S: The Big Lebowski, Taxi Driver,  Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction

40. Directors you’d like to see work together?

I: David Fincher and Denis Villeneuve could be interesting

S: Coen brothers and Guy Ritchie would be fkn awesome OR Coens and Tarantino would be screenplay heaven

41. Actors you’d like to see work together?

I: Felicity Jones and Oscar Isaac (can you imagine the chemistry)

S: Miles Teller and Emma Watson ;---)

42. Films you wanted to watch, but never got around to watching?

I: American History X, 28 Days Later

S: Amadeus, The Deer Hunter

43. Favorite teen movie?

I: Clueless, 10 Things I Hate About You, Fast Times at Ridgemont High

S: Juno, Grease, The Breakfast Club, Rebel Without A Cause

44. Top 5 favorite films?

I: American Psycho, Her, The Grand Budapest Hotel, Seven, Inception, There Will Be Blood, Inglourious Basterds, LOTR, No Country For Old Men ARGH SO MANY

S: There Will Be Blood (no. 1 fav), Good Will Hunting, No Country For Old Men, Raging Bull, Fargo, The Dark Knight, Goodfellas, LOTR, American Psycho, Deathproof, Tree of Life, The Usual Suspects, So many so many.

45. Favorite superhero film?

I: Logan, X-Men Days of Future Past, The Dark Knight

S: The Dark Knight, The Incredibles

46. Favorite cop film?

I: 21 Jump Street, Hot Fuzz, The Departed

S: Reservoir Dogs, Fargo, Seven, Mystic River, The Departed, Silence Of The Lambs

47. Favorite road trip film?

I: Fear and Loathing Las Vegas

S: Borat HHAHAHAH

48. A disappointing film from your favorite actor?

I: Pick any rom-com of Matthew McConaughey’s

S: Jack Nicholson in The Bucket List and Anger Management. So fucking bad. Good actor, shit movies.

49. A disappointing film from your favorite director?

I: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

S: The Lovely Bones, Only God Forgives

50. The first movie you ever remember watching in theaters?

I: I don’t remember any, but the first film I saw was A Bug’s Life

S: I genuinely have no idea

51. A movie that was better than the book?

I: The Shining (lmao bc Stephen King hates the movie)

S: Yeah The Shining and There Will Be Blood (based on Oil! which was beautifully written but nothing beats PTA’s adaption)

52. Vin Diesel or Bruce Willis?

I: Vin Diesel is so cute but I like Bruce better

S: it’s not a motorcycle baby it’s a chopper

53. A movie that not many have heard of that you’ve seen?

I: Hunt For the Wilderpeople

S: Vampire’s Kiss, Children of Men, Ip Man (VERY good foreign film), Dr Strangelove, Inherent Vice, Shame, Biutiful, Macbeth, Cool Hand Luke, Room In Rome, To Sir With Love

54. A movie that changed the way you view the world?

I: To Kill a Mockingbird

S: American History X

55. Favorite sci-fi movie?

I: Star Wars, Star Trek, Interstellar, Arrival, Gattaca

S: Alien, Predator, The Thing, Interstellar, Arrival, Terminator, 2001, Matrix, The Fifth Element, E.T

56. Movie you completely nerd-out over every time it’s mentioned?

I: X-Men, Star Wars, LOTR

S: LOTR obviously

57. Movie that you’ve seen all the behind-the-scenes action for?

I: Inception

S: LOTR again, hours on end of it omf

58. Movie where your favorite actor was the only good part?

I: Natalie Portman and Ewan McGregor in the Star Wars prequels

S: Leonardo DiCaprio in The Basketball Diaries

59. Movie from an actor you hate that was better than you expected?

I: Kristen Stewart (Adventureland), but I don’t hate her at all, I was just surprised at her performance.

S: Mo’Nique in Precious, never hated her, she’s brilliant, it was the first performance I’ve seen of hers and it made me despise her character so much. SO GOOD but so awful.

60. Most visually stunning movie you’ve seen?

I: The Revenant

S: Tree of Life, 2001, The Revenant, Apocalypse Now, The Master, Interstellar, LOTR, Jurassic Park

61. A movie your parents introduced you to?

I: The Wizard of Oz, Life is Beautiful, Grease

S: Hahahaha basically every movie no joke, but my dad showed me lots of Chaplin

62. Favorite genre?

I: Thriller/crime/mystery/suspense

S: Drama, gangster movies, thrillers/horror/psychological thriller/horror you get the jist

63. Least favorite genre?

I: Romantic comedies

S: Romcoms or superhero movies (not including tdk)

64. Comedy movie that you didn’t find funny?

I: Sausage Party

S: How to be single, Anchorman, Sausage Party

65. Horror movie that didn’t scare you?

I: The Conjuring, Paranormal Activity

S: Insidious just so bad, The Exorcist, The Shining, Rosemary’s Baby, Let The Right One In (Swedish version NOT American Let Me In). None are terrifying, just extremely unsettling and disturbing

66. Favorite remake of an old movie?

I: The Departed, True Grit

S: True Grit, The Thing, Scarface, The Departed

67. A movie that started a passion for you?

I: Her. The first “good” movie I watched that got me into film culture.

S: Well I was brought up with hundreds of great movies from my childhood which made me love film as a child, but standout ones from my childhood I can remember especially well are LOTR, Spirit, Fantasia, all very music based films too

68. A movie that sparked an interesting conversation?

I: Interstellar (about time, paradoxes, and space)

S: Donnie Darko, No Country For Old Men, Psycho, The Usual Suspects, 2001, Whiplash -- all have brilliant final scenes, Split: my bro and I spent an hour talking about what makes a good movie and why it was so bad

69. The main movie you remember from your childhood?

I: Grease… slightly inappropriate for a kid but most of the adult stuff went over my head anyway

S: Lord Of The Rings of course, first full length film I was shown and Neverending Story is another one I remember well.

70. The first movie you saw on it’s opening night?

I: Star Wars The Force Awakens

S: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows P1 and P2, La La Land

71. A move that made you ache for love.

I: Before Sunrise

S: Blue Valentine

72. Favourite foreign film/s?

I:

S: Let The Right One In, Life Is Beautiful, Cinema Paradiso, Ip Man, City of God, Pan’s Labyrinth, REC, Biutiful

73. Favourite horror film/s?

I: 

S: The Shining, The Exorcist, Rosemary’s Baby, Carrie, Halloween, Texas Chainsaw, Psycho, REC.

#q #lumierebros #questions #sorry for long post

[macguires]

I'm so late but I sure hope you're still doing that ask meme because if you are I'm giving you Hannibal and Star Wars. Because I know you too well and I know you'd be waiting ;D - tattlecrimc

YESSSSSSS EDEN BLESS U (i’m assuming you mean this one bc that’s the only one i’ve reblogged recently)

i will ramble horribly on the hannibal one and i’m very sorry about it so i’ll leave that for last so i can put it under a read more

i should probably warn u that the only movie fresh in my memory is the force awakens so all of this is gonna be answered through a v tfa-heavy lens but ok

star wars

three favourite male characters: poe dameron, kylo ren & general hux (DON’T KILL ME i know kylo & hux are awful, the fandom paired w/ my pre-existing love for domhnall gleeson did this to me and i am v ashamed). finn, han solo, bodhi rook, cassian andor, chirrut imwe & luke skywalker are also v dear to me. listen i just have a lot of love to givethree favourite female characters: jessika pava (i’d better see So Much of her in ep8), phasma & padme amidala. & also rey! ‘Needs More Girls’ is my opinion on most franchises but especially star warsfavourite pairing(s): finn/poe, kylo/hux, rey/jessika & han/luke! i also like obi-wan/anakin in the sense that i don’t actively go looking for stuff abt it but when i do see it on my dash my heart does a lil “!!”notp(s): r*ylo is like one of the only ships on my blacklist so that probably tells u something. i’m also p Ew about rey with any of the villains, so that also rules out rey/hux & rey/kylo/hux which i see way too often all over the place. also you wouldn’t think snoke/kylo would be a thing but i’ve seen fics & i’ve seen art and i’ve like cried every single time, experiencing that was my tragic backstory and now i’m a jaded & cynical anti-hero who’s seen Too Much™least favourite character: snoke who’s like me: i’ll hesitantly say padme amidala? i saw the prequels when i was too young to be properly interested in them and i haven’t rewatched them yet so 99% of my knowledge is secondhand, but from what i’ve seen she’s the most relatable most attractive: jessika pava tbh, yet another reason behind me hoping she’s around a lot in the next movie, i am Absolutely in love alreadyfavourite moment/scene: THAT’S MY JACKET(also lowkey the whole starkiller/hosnian system scene, that was shot so impressively w/ the whole ~greatcoat blowing dramatically in wind~ and the brief reaction shot of the people on hosnian prime and the lights shooting across the sky and damn)favourite quote(s): LOTS

“so this is how liberty dies. with thunderous applause.” - padme

“if you live long enough, you see the same eyes in different people.” - maz

“mm. lost a planet, master obi-wan has. how embarrassing.” - yoda

“are you kidding me? i’m blind!” - chirrut 

“there’s a problem on the horizon. …there is no horizon.” - k2-so

“so you’re with the resistance?”“obviously. yes, i am. i am with the resistance, yeah. i’m with the resistance.”“i’ve never met a resistance fighter before.”“well, this is what we look like. some of us. others look different.” - rey & finn

“lieutenant, get back to your station!”“just look! we won’t survive. even hux is gone!” - rodinon

“through the ages, i’ve seen evil take many forms: the sith. the empire. today, it is the first order.” - maz

“where is my boyfriend? […] i like that wookiee.” - maz

ok right. now for my favourite thing in the world. the show i don’t shut up about. the universe to which my heart belongs

hannibal

three favourite male characters: will graham, hannibal lecter & anthony dimmondthree favourite female characters: chiyoh, molly graham & reba mcclane (also beverly katz. and freddie lounds. and abigail hobbs. and literally every other girl)favourite pairing(s): hannibal/will, margot/alana, reba/molly, abigail/marissa & jimmy/brian are the ones i pay most attention to, but i’m honestly also down for literally any other f/f ship u can imagine from this shownotp(s): there isn’t anything i would specifically call a notp, but i’m not a huge fan of will/alana or hannibal/alana i guess? just bc as much as i love will & hannibal, alana deserves 1000x better and i lovelovelove her with margot. i also dislike mason with literally anyone for what i would hope are obvious reasons. i also tend to be kinda cringey about abigail with will or hannibal in a romantic/sexual sense bc it’s made very clear that their relationship with her is parent/child and that she’s a teenager so it feels v creepy to meleast favourite character: i like them enough as characters but i’ll say francis dolarhyde & mason verger. bc everything mason does ever makes me feel vaguely ill and my first impression of francis dolarhyde was him stretching and grunting @ his mirror in briefs w/ Glistening Muscles and i was done with That and ready to move on in under 0.00002 seconds but it just….. kept happeningwho’s most like me: peter bernardone, abigail hobbs & s1!will graham most attractive: chiyoh! i was literally Gone from the second we saw her through will’s goddamn binoculars favourite moment/scene: literally every second of dark!will i am so here for that. every moment from when he attacked freddie in the barn and then. u know. ate randall tier with hannibal, the whole ~i’ve given up good & evil for behaviourism~ conversation and the knife exchange in the kitchen. also him bringing randall’s body to hannibal in the middle of the night like some dog looking for approval wtf. and obviously him & hannibal double-teaming & killing francis in the season finale and running the fuck away together and then coming back to eat bedelia like I JUST REALLY LOVE DARK!WILLfavourite quote(s): i have SO MANY. some of them i just think are gorgeous and thought-provoking, some i like for shippy reasons or bc they were super chilling or Ominous on a rewatch/paired with later context, and some i just find straight-up hilarious

hannibal: “i’ve always found the idea of death comforting. the thought that my life could end at any moment frees me to fully appreciate the beauty and art and horror of everything this world has to offer.”

hannibal: “the essence of the worst in the human spirit is not found in the crazy sons-of-bitches. ugliness is found in the faces of the crowd.”  

jack: “you remember when you decided to call hannibal?”will: “i wasn’t decided when i called him. i just called him. i deliberated while the phone rang… i decided when i heard his voice.”jack: “you told him we knew.” will: “i told him to leave, because i wanted him to run.”jack: “why?”will: “because… because he was my friend. and because i wanted to run away with him.” 

hannibal: “you cannot control with respect to whom you fall in love.” 

will: “i’ve never known myself as well as i know myself… when i’m with him.” 

hannibal: “when the fox hears the rabbit scream, he comes a-running. but not to help. when you hear jack scream, why will you come running?”

chiyoh: “you have a taste for it now.”will: “for what?”chiyoh: “harm.”will: “do you?”chiyoh: “i was violent when it was the right thing to do. but i think you like it. […] if you don’t kill him, you’re afraid you’re going to become him.”will: “yes.”

freddie: “i’ve interviewed enough serial killers to know one when i see one. […] a very specific brand of hostility. i see it every time i look at will graham.” 

gray: “there is no god.”hannibal: “well, not with that attitude.” 

hannibal: “hello! i love your work.” (YOU NEED CONTEXT FOR THIS ONE BUT I LOVE IT)

guest: “it smells divine!”hannibal: “it is! i say that without ego. i don’t require conventional reinforcement.” 

hannibal: “that may have been impulsive.”

hannibal: “a paradox.”alana: “freddie lounds thinks the two of you are a paradox. she sees something no one else sees.”will: “and what’s that?”alana: “that neither of you is the killer she’s writing about… but together you might be.” 

will: “i’d pack my bags if i were you, bedelia. meat’s back on the menu. […] ready or not, here he comes.” 

freddie: “what will understands is that if you can’t beat hannibal lecter… join him.” 

hannibal: “what’s the meat? veal? pork?”will: “she was a slim and delicate pig.”hannibal: “i’ll make you lomo soltado. we’ll make it together. …you slice the ginger.” […]hannibal: “this meat is not pork.”will: “it’s long pig.” (RIDICULOUS. now they’re both making puns while eating people)

will: “is hannibal in love with me?”bedelia: “could he daily feel a stab of hunger for you and find nourishment at the very sight of you? yes. but do you ache for him?”  

#anonymous #asks

[zeroviraluniverse-blog]

10 Surprising Facts About Burt Reynolds

Visit Now - http://zeroviral.com/10-surprising-facts-about-burt-reynolds/

10 Surprising Facts About Burt Reynolds

If your first memory of Burton Leon Reynolds is from the 1993 film Cop and a Half, then you’re probably too young to remember—or even realize—that Burt Reynolds was once Hollywood’s biggest movie star. To put it in perspective: Every year from 1973 to 1984, Reynolds was listed as one of Quigley’s “Top 10 Money Makers,” and held the top spot on the annual poll from 1978 to 1982 (the only other person to boast a record five consecutive years at the top of the list is Bing Crosby, back in the 1940s).

After a serious knee injury and subsequent car accident ended a promising football career at Florida State University, Reynolds found his way into acting. He got his start in a series of television roles, including a regular gig on the western series Riverboat, then hit the big screen big time with his breakout role in John Boorman’s 1972 backwoods classic, Deliverance.

Reynolds followed Deliverance up with such hits as Smokey and The Bandit (a film Playboy called “the Gone with the Wind of good-ol’-boy movies”), Semi-Tough, The Cannonball Run, and The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas. Though he hit a bit of a rough patch for a few years, all of that changed when Reynolds agreed to star in Boogie Nights, Paul Thomas Anderson’s 1997 ode to pornography, which earned the actor a Golden Globe award, a Best Supporting Actor Oscar nomination, and one of the biggest comebacks of the decade. Here are 10 things you may not have known about the mustachioed Hollywood icon, who turns 80 years old today.

1. HE TURNED DOWN SOME MAJOR ROLES.

Over the course of a near-60-year career, one is bound to pass on some prime roles. And Reynolds has turned down a lot, including (by his own admission in the video above) Han Solo in Star Wars, R.P. McMurphy in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, Edward Lewis in Pretty Woman, and John McClane in Die Hard. Although he doesn’t regret that final one: “I don’t regret turning down anything Bruce Willis did,” Reynolds told Piers Morgan.

More notably, and perhaps more regrettably, Reynolds turned down a chance to play James Bond in 1969. As Reynolds explains it: “In my infinite wisdom, I said to [producer] Cubby Broccoli, ‘An American can’t play James Bond. It just can’t be done.’ And they really tried to talk me into it. It was a 10-minute discussion. Finally they left. Every night, I wake up in a cold sweat.”

The role Reynolds laments turning down the most, however, is a role that was written specifically with him in mind. When director James L. Brooks approached him about playing Garrett Breedlove in 1983’s Terms of Endearment, Reynolds balked, instead taking a role in Hal Needham’s Stroker Ace. “When it came time to choose between Terms and Stroker, I chose the latter because I felt I owed Hal more than I did Jim,” Reynolds explained (Needham also directed Smokey and the Bandit, Hooper, and The Cannonball Run). “Nobody told me I could have probably done Terms and Universal would have waited until I was finished before making Stroker.” The role went to Jack Nicholson, who took home the Oscar for Best Supporting Actor in 1984.

2. HE POSED NUDE IN A 1972 ISSUE OF COSMOPOLITAN.

It may be common knowledge that Burt Reynolds posed naked in Cosmopolitan. What may be less known is that he regrets that decision. “I’m very embarrassed by it,” Reynolds told Piers Morgan. Editor Helen Gurley Brown asked Reynolds to do the photo shoot after the two appeared together on The Tonight Show. “I thought it would be a kick,” Reynolds said. The issue came out only a short time before Deliverance was released in theaters and all 1.6 million copies of the magazine sold out.

Despite the popularity of the spread, Reynolds now believes that it may have distracted from the critical reception of Deliverance. “I thought it cost some actors in Deliverance an Academy Award,” Reynolds told Morgan. “I think it cost Jon [Voight]. I think it cost Ned Beatty, who certainly deserved an Oscar nomination. I think it hurt me, too.”

3. HE TURNED DOWN HIS OSCAR-NOMINATED ROLE IN BOOGIE NIGHTS. SEVEN TIMES.

Paul Thomas Anderson was adamant that Burt Reynolds play iconoclastic porn producer Jack Horner in his 1997 masterpiece, Boogie Nights, despite Reynolds’s aversion to the material. Anderson asked seven times, and got seven passes from Reynolds. “One night—the eighth time—[Anderson] came to my hotel room,” Reynolds recalled. “And I said, ‘Look, you don’t get it.’ And I went a little berserk. And at the end of the tirade, he said, ‘If you can do that in the movie, you’ll get nominated for an Academy Award.’ And he was right.”

4. AN ON-SET STUNT CAUSED HIM A LIFE OF PAIN.

The 1980s weren’t always kind to Reynolds. “I can’t believe I did all those bad films in a row until I looked at the list,” he said. During the filming of 1984’s City Heat, Reynolds was struck in the face by a metal chair and shattered his jaw. He developed TMJ as a result of the injury and ended up losing 40 pounds due to his inability to eat solid food. The shocking weight loss fueled speculation that Reynolds had contracted AIDS, a rumor he spent years refuting. He also developed a severe drug dependency as a result of the chronic and debilitating pain he suffered from TMJ; at one point Reynolds was taking up to 50 Halcion sleeping pills a day.

Reynolds eventually kicked the pill addiction, but was not so lucky with the pain. He still suffers daily from the more than 30-year-old injury.

5. HE HAD AN IMPROMPTU PIE FIGHT WITH DOUBLE DARE HOST MARC SUMMERS ON THE TONIGHT SHOW.

Burt Reynolds had just finished up his segment as a guest on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno in 1994 and had shifted over to make way for the next guest, TV show host Marc Summers (Double Dare, Unwrapped). Reynolds became visibly irritated with Summers for, ostensibly, turning his back on him while he was speaking to Leno. Summers then made the comment to Reynolds, “I’m still married, by the way.” This jab precipitated a water fight between the two combatants: Reynolds dumped his mug on Summers’s lap, Summers retaliated, so on and so forth. The donnybrook culminated in a rather violent pie fight followed by a very awkward hug.

“This was not a bit,” Summers explained. “I didn’t know what to expect. He was going through a divorce with Loni Anderson at the time and he was angry … He hugged me and said, ‘I only did that because I really like you.’ You wait to get on The Tonight Show your whole life. You’re sitting next to Burt Reynolds. He drops water on your crotch, then you get into a pie fight!”

6. HE PISSED OFF ELMORE LEONARD.

Reynolds was a longtime admirer of writer Elmore Leonard. After reading Leonard’s novel, Stick, Reynolds decided that he wanted to direct and star in the film version. Things did not go well.

After watching Reynolds’s first cut of the film, the studio pushed back its release date and forced him to re-shoot the second half of the movie, much to the actor/director’s dismay. “I turned in my cut of the picture and truly thought I had made a good film,” Reynolds told the Los Angeles Times. “Word got back to me quickly that the [studio] wanted a few changes … I gave up on the film. I didn’t fight them. I let them get the best of me.”

The biggest blow came from Elmore Leonard. “Leonard saw the film the day he was interviewed for a Newsweek cover and told them he hated it,” Reynolds shared. “After his comment, every critic attacked the film and he wouldn’t talk to me. When I re-shot the film, I was just going through the motions. I’m not proud of what I did, but I take responsibility for my actions. All I can say—and this is not in way of a defense—is if you liked the first part of Stick, that’s what I was trying to achieve throughout.”

7. HE DABBLED IN THE NIGHTCLUB BUSINESS.

Burt Reynolds’s foray into the booming 1970s nightclub business was a short-lived one. He opened Burt’s Place in the late 1970s at the Omni International Hotel in downtown Atlanta. The club’s most notable feature was a stained glass dance floor that featured a rendering of Burt’s face and the words, “Burt’s Joint”—which was odd, considering that wasn’t even the name of the establishment. Burt’s Place/Joint closed after a year.

8. MARLON BRANDO WAS NOT A FAN OF REYNOLDS.

Coming up in the movie business, Burt Reynolds was a huge Marlon Brando fan. Brando did not share the sentiment. When Reynolds was being considered for the role of Michael Corleone in 1972’s The Godfather, Brando adamantly declared that if Reynolds was given the role, he would remove himself from the project. The rest is history.

Brando later said about Reynolds, “He is the epitome of something that makes me want to throw up … He is the epitome of everything that is disgusting about the thespian … He worships at the temple of his own narcissism.” Ouch! To be fair, in the same conversation, Brando admits that he had never even met Reynolds.

9. HE RELEASED AN ALBUM. 

Hot off his success in Deliverance and his nude spread in Cosmo, a solo album seemed like the next, most Hollywood-appropriate course of action.

Reynolds released his debut record, “Ask Me What I Am,” in 1973 and somehow this gem seems to have evaded critics and fans alike. We do know that the album came with a double-sized poster of Reynolds in a blue jumpsuit and cowboy hat. You can listen to a track on YouTube, but if you must hear it in its entirety, it’s available on Amazon.

10. HE DOESN’T THINK DELIVERANCE COULD BE RE-MADE TODAY.

“They keep talking about a remake, but I don’t think you could find four actors crazy enough to do it,” Reynolds said. “Not by any stretch of the imagination were we white water experts. We’d quit for the day and come back and practice. We got to the point where we were more proficient, or at least we didn’t get tipped over all the time. I have to admit that, in spite of the danger, or maybe because of the danger, it was the most fun I ever had.”

Reynolds has often said that Deliverance is the finest of all of his films.

#10 #Burt #facts #Reynolds #Surprising #Facts

[focalwriterworks]

THE GUNMAN

Jeff Spicoli trades in his surfboard for some semi-automatic hand guns in this taut, Luc Besson style European thriller.  Starring five-time Oscar nominated actor and winner of two Academy Awards, Sean Penn.

The Story: This is familiar story and movie plot material, maybe Jack Reacher (2012) is the most recent film I can think of, but countless other films where a hero is established, in this case Sean Penn's James Terrier, who eight years after an African mercenary killer-for-hire event is now being sought by an undisclosed enemy in what Terrier believes is retaliation, or revenge, for the actions he carried out on the job.  People are out to get him, regardless, and he doesn't know who or why but uses all of his paramilitary resources and killer instincts to find out who and stop them before he, and a girl he once loved, Annie, played by Jasmine Trinca, are dead.    

The Goods: About an hour in there's a highly characteristic move by what appears to make Terrier a smart man (until then I’m not sure just how smart, or stupid, he is, there’s just a lot of shooting, hiding and running).  He discovers a rigged bomb in his hotel room, with trip wires waiting for him, which he’s able to quickly disable it, slip out into the open so they see him, re-enter his room to allow them to see the device not working and upon which he re-connects the bomb and uses against these guys as they try to muscle their way into his place.  It's a well worked-out scene that plays quickly but is long enough to sink your teeth into, to watch and follow and enjoy as the scene takes its course.  It's quite possibly the only redeeming thing about this film, and though it’s like one or two nifty scenes in Taken (2008), it's sort of an anomaly in movie-making these days.    

Directer Pierre Morel was the cinematographer on a slew of Luc Besson films like The Transporter (2002) and Unleashed (2005), and camera operator on Taken and From Paris With Love (2010) which is why The Gunman feels familiar both in theme, character and action.  Not a bad thing necessarily, but can this genre ever be too much?  A change of location helps certainly as the action takes us to Barcelona, London, Africa and Gibraltar.  

The Flaws: It's so similar to Neeson and Cruise films that it makes me think Penn did it just to be a) more relevant or b) because he needs the work.  Not because he needs an Oscar.  Which is slightly disappointing.  I think the key to identifying with heroes is that we sort of want to be like them.  Who wouldn't want to be Tony Stark, or Neeson's Bryan Mills, or Cruise's Maverick, or better yet any number of 007's.  Unfortunately there's nothing here in Penn's character that makes me identify with him.   While he can fight better than a lot of the dudes I mentioned, still, he lacks a certain manliness—maybe it's just stature—that says, hey, I'm a super-hero kind of guy you should be rooting for.  And I think that's where a good speech comes into play.  If you can't win me with the action, then tell me something stirring that I can walk away with.  

We don't really get to know Terrier. Outside of running with a gun, shooting, using hand-to-hand combat. Maybe this is truly who he is. Annie loves him, but I can’t think hand-to-hand combat is why she loves him… she doesn't seem the type.  She's a humanitarian worker.  Helping poverty-stricken citizens of a small Republic of Congo town. Javier Bardem has a small part in the film, who also loves Annie.  At times after about thirty minutes in The Gunman has a whiff of Against All Odds (1984), which if you see that '80's Jeff Bridges movie now it's awful (that movie in turn a remake of the classic noir film Out of the Past (1947)).  The triangle of two men, and a woman they both love, it doesn’t work.  But that odor soon passes and we get back into some gunplay.  A chase, a hunt, some suspense.  A hero stung with an ailment from his days as a hired hit man in a Tommy Bahama shirt that prevents him from being completely healthy…you can’t help but think of D.O.A (1988), Crank (2006), or any number of films where the hero will doesn’t die from the hands of bad guys will do so from some crazy trauma or ticking drug bomb.  

Bardem’s character, Felix, a part of Terrier’s team back in the day, peaks with some kind of babbling incoherent speech that seems to be a cheap way out of this small part in the script, for Bardem.  If you've ever heard or used the phrase in reference to actors, "he called it in," yeah, well that's the first and only impression I get from Bardem, and he did so from a 1990’s Motorola flip-phone.  But I'll blame it on the script. Penn is an Oscar-winning actor whose nominations and wins are pretty much banked on strong monologues. We don't get any of that in this film, which is fine, but there might be some subconscious expectation of that.  To see him running around with a gun, and knives, in doing what Tom Cruise does in Mission impossible films, doesn't give him much of an opportunity to deliver some choice words.   In terms of balance, a term that Felix uses in a scene where he is flexing his refined, domesticated side in the business world, balance is what this film needs in terms of something more verbal to counter all this action.   I imagine that's why many action films are just what they are, fun, mindless escape.    

And it's why Die Hard (1988) still sets the standard in action films.  The conversation between John McClane and Sgt. Al Powell, in that nice first break in the gun fighting action, in the first film, is the best example of slowing things down and getting to know the characters; letting the audience catch their breath.  

The Call: Stow the dough.  While the fist-fighting, knife play and gun-fire chases are thrilling it’s not something you’ll miss if you just wait a while for the rental.  What makes one hero like John McClane, James Bond, Ethan Hunt, Han Solo or Peter Parker any different from James Terrier?  It’s the fact you want to be these guys.  Part of why we watch.  We live vicariously.  In The Gunman we don’t do that.  Instead we just watch.  And feel nothing.  When Idris Elba appears very late in the film, for what amounts to be maybe ten minutes of screen time, he outshines and overshadows every single hard working thing Penn has done in this film—nearly two hours of it—by just standing there and saying a handful of choice words.  And that’s the stuff, say, a James Bond like hero, is made of.   Rumors are that Elba will be the next Bond.  I look forward to that day.  And that’s what The Gunman amounts to folks. A psalm for ten minutes of Idris Elba.    

Rated R for strong violence, language and some sexuality.  Running time is 1 hour and 55 minutes.    

By Jon Lamoreaux

[itsjaybullme]

10 Cheap and Easy Halloween Costumes for Jacked Guys

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It's Costume Time

Silver Screen Collection / Nancy Moran / Sunset Boulevard / Getty

The time has finally come: the week when you realize that Halloween weekend is upon us, but you've been too busy making gains in the gym to even think about putting effort into a costume. Maybe you've had a few fleeting thoughts—if that—about how you're going to dress up, and maybe your girlfriend has spent the month begging you to dress as the companion to whatever elaborate costume she'll be donning when you inevitably end up at a Halloween gathering.

But you probably didn't listen to your own thoughts or hers, and now it's crunch time and the best costumes are probably long sold out. Besides, if you waited this long to find a costume, we're willing to bet you're not about to splurge on that $600 theatrical-quality Darth Vader getup.

If you're starting to get nervous we'll stop you right there, because all that time in the gym is about to swoop in and save your Halloweekend.

Some of the most badass characters in Hollywood history are just jacked guys wearing reasonably normal clothing and minimal outlandish accessories. You may not literally have the physique that Arnold Schwarzenegger or Dolph Lundgren sported back in the '80s, but you can pull off their characters like no couch potato ever could. That's why we've compiled some of our favorite costume options that you can scrape together with minimal cash, and still look decent enough to be recognizable.

It may be too late for theatrical, but at least you'll have a costume. Because even if you're not the type of guy to roll up to the party dressed as a terrifyingly realistic movie monster, you've got to admit it's fun to get into the spirit. Plus, you don't want to be the only asshole at the bar who showed up as the murderer of all things fun and spooky (yourself sans costume).

(And if you need that emergency shred? We've got the workout for you.)

Click through for some of the cheapest, easiest options for your last-minute Halloween costume.

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1. John Matrix/Commando

Sunset Boulevard / Getty

Arnold Schwazenegger has been in plenty of movies, from thrilling action flicks like Terminator and Predator to comedies like Twins and Jingle All the Way. But one of Schwarzenegger's most badass roles was undeniably John Matrix, a former Special Forces colonel out to take down a former dictator to save his daughter. Who could forget the moment when a deadpan Matrix "let Sully go"?

The most important aspect of this costume is also the cheapest: some black body paint for you face and torso. 

Assuming you have:

Pants (preferably camo/cargo pants or khakis—but jeans work, too)

Boots 

Impressive biceps and a generally ripped upper body

A passable Arnold impersonation 

You'll need:

Black body paint (to stripe across your face and body, $5 at Party City) 

Bullet belt (optional, $10 at Party City)

Fake weapon that's very clearly not real (anything from a hunting knife to a rifle could work)

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2. The Incredible Hulk

NBC / Silver Screen Collection / Getty

In his Incredible Hulk days, Lou Ferrigno's physique was nothing short of incredible. After all, he played our favorite green maniac in the late-'70s-early-'80s series, long before CGI could take Dr. Banner from man to monster. So if you've got the physique for it, this one's as easy as can be, although it could get a little messy if you don't get a little help. 

Assuming you have:

Jeans

A flannel (optional)

A hulking physique

You'll need:

Green body paint (maybe two tubes) ($5 each at Party City)

If you really want to go all out, green hairspray ($4 at Party City)

Giant, hilariously fluffy wig (optional)

4 of 11

3. The Old Spice Guy

Old Spice / Youtube

While Terry Crews may have been the most jacked face of Old Spice ever, Isaiah Mustafa's embodiment is a hilarious throwback that's insanely easy to replicate:

You may not have all (or any) of the skills he boasts in the commercial, but you don't need those. All you do need is a towel, some shorts, and Old Spice to make this one work. Bonus: You'll smell great, no matter where the night takes you.

Assuming you have:

A white towel (clean, please)

Khaki shorts to wear underneath

The chops to impersonate his TV-ready voice

You'll need:

Any Old Spice product, as cheap or expensive as you please (and, hey, you may already have that, too)

Works best at: beach parties.

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4. Rambo

Nancy Moran / Getty

John Rambo is one of those action-movie badasses who seems to transcend time. Even those who have never seen the movie have a very clear idea of the gist of it. Sly Stallone's depiction of a gritty, troubled Vietnam veteran evading law enforcement launched the original film, First Blood, into a franchise. If your friends can't guess this costume at first sight, that's their problem. This one's also super-customizable, since Stallone appeared both in a black, raw-cut muscle tank and shirtless. The important parts? The bandana, the bullet belt, and the absurdly chiseled upper body and/or jawline.

Assuming you have: 

A worn-out, black, clearly DIYed tank top (or a t-shirt you can cut into one)

Jeans 

Ripped shoulders 

You'll need:

Red bandana ($3 at Party City—or, if you cut your own tank top, save some of the fabric and just use that for free)

Fake weapon that's very clearly not real (a hunting knife to a bow and arrow, to a rife could work)

Bullet belt (optional, $10 at Party City)

Some of that $5 body paint (or dirt, if you really want to go cheap) to give the effect of roughing it in the woods

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5. Richard Simmons

Evan Hurd Photography / Getty

This one is admittedly not badass, but it's hilarious and directly related to fitness. Richard Simmons shot to fame for his weight-loss programs back in the day, and he's still at it now. His signature brightly colored tank tops and short-shorts are easy enough to replicate, as long as you never skip legs day. 

Assuming you have:

A workout tank top (preferably a bright one, and preferably one with sparkles)

Quads that you're dying to show off

White sneakers

White crew socks

You'll need:

Short-shorts (whether they're your girlfriend's or something cheap from Amazon Prime)

Huge wig (optional, but adds to the effect; $20 at Party City)

Probably some energy drinks. It's a long night, and you will be expected to embody Richard Simmons.

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6. He-Man

Archive Photos / Getty

Dolph Lundgren, another Hollywood badass who's still keeping up with his fitness today, played He-Man in 1987's Masters of the Universe. We can only imagine all the physique goals that were born that year. Just a little more serious and intimidating than the cartoon version of this comic-book hero, Lundgren's He-Man is ripped out of his mind. If you are, too, show off those quads and that six-pack with this costume. This may be a bare-minimum He-Man, but we don't have time for elaborate equipment, and that's not our fault. Besides, the abs are more impressive anyway. (If you have a set of old football pads lying around that no one's gonna miss, you can easily cut out the shoulders, spray-paint them gold, and tie them together to complete the look. Remember: It's optional, but you have the power.)

Assuming you have: 

An impressive chest and quads

A neutral-colored Speedo, bodybuilding suit, or even some dark-colored briefs (yup, we're really going for it)

A few belts to layer over each other

You'll need:

Blonde wig (will probably run you about $20, but completes the costume)

Fake sword (also important, but only $7 at Party City)

Spartan shin guards ($15 on Amazon)

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7. Lumberjack/The Brawny Man

Blake Little / Getty

More like lumber-jacked, right? This one may actually be the easiest costume ever, and you probably have everything you need already. And this is customizable, because if you don't want to get a fake chainsaw or ax, you can just carry a roll of paper towels around with you (which, given most of the Halloween parties we've been to, may not be a bad idea). Boom: You're instantly the Brawny Man instead of a plain ol' lumberjack. 

Assuming you have:

Jeans

A flannel

A knit beanie

Gargantuan lumberjack-esque arms 

You'll need:

Fake ax for lumberjack ($4 at Party City). If you're into scary costumes, a fake bloody chainsaw (like this $17 option from Party City) transforms you into a murderous lumberjack.

Paper towels for Brawny Man (free from your kitchen, probably)

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8. John McClane from Die Hard

Archive Photos / Getty

Die Hard may just be one of the best Christmas movies of all time (because it's totally a Christmas movie in our book, despite the absence of the Grinch or much holiday cheer). In the original, Bruce Willis takes on a slew of bad guys as NYPD cop John McClane, who has to take matters into his own hands to save his wife, one of their hostages. This is another one that you've probably got most of the supplies for. Yippee ki-yay, motherf*cker!

Assuming you have: 

A white tank top you're willing to rub dirt on

A button-down (ideally one you're also willing to rub dirt on)

A formidable five o'clock shadow

Jeans or khakis

A built chest

You'll need:

If you don't want to rub dirt on your face and shirt, some $5 body paint

Some of your girlfriend's lipliner and a butterfly closures for a fake head wound (about $5 from any drug store)

Fake police badge ($4 at Party City)

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9. Tarzan

Mondadori Portfolio / Frank Trapper / Getty / M&F

There have been countless depictions of this jungle hero, but our personal favorite might be former M&F cover starAlexander Skarsgard's. His physique is impressive, and his costume may be the easiest (and most full-coverage, for any of you legs-day skippers).

Assuming you have:

Khakis you are prepared to sacrifice

Shredded abs and a poundable chest

You'll need:

Some $5 body paint to act as fake dirt

A wig (optional—your own messy hair will work just fine)

A loincloth (if you want to really go for it, $25 at Walmart)

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10. Zeus

Ullstein Bild / Getty

Since Zeus is literally a Greek god, you've got to have the physique to back this one up. If not, you can just tell people you're masquerading as a frat boy at a toga party. This one's pretty straightforward, and can really be tailored to any Greek or Roman deity of your choice, depending on your accessories. Take Poseidon/Neptune, for example: Add a trident, and you're suddenly the king of the ocean. The most important accessories, if the statue we're referencing is any indication, are some killer obliques.

Assuming you have:

A white bedsheet

Flip-flops

Washboard abs

You'll need:

A gray or white fake beard ($5 at Party City)

A trident for Neptune ($5 at Party City)

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from Bodybuilding Feed http://www.muscleandfitness.com/features/edge/10-cheap-and-easy-halloween-costumes-jacked-guys via http://www.rssmix.com/

[ao3feed-chilton]

My Becoming

read it on the AO3 at http://ift.tt/2pRWVag

by EwanMcGregorIsMyHomeboy12

Newly appointed to the faculty of small college in Baltimore, Will Graham is adjusting to the onslaught of new people, and new expectations. He had his friends, and his acquaintances, including a certain Doctor in the psychology department, Hannibal Lecter. Will doesn't put much stock into the idea of soulmates, but when a killer comes to campus, targeting those who are unbonded, Will is forced to use his special set of skills to discover the murderer's true identity as he himself becomes a target. A story of fluff, murder, romance, soul-mates, and the terrifying imagination of Will Graham. But what else is new?

Words: 3957, Chapters: 1/15, Language: English

Fandoms: Hannibal (TV)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M

Characters: Will Graham, Hannibal Lecter, Alana Bloom, Margot Verger, Mason Verger, Dr. Frederick Chilton, Franklyn Froideveaux, Bella Crawford, Jack Crawford, Freddie Lounds, Abigail Hobbs, Randall Tier, Tobias Budge, Molly Graham(mentioned), Beverly Katz, Jimmy Price, Brian Zeller, Francis Dolarhyde, Reba McClane, Will Graham's Dogs

Relationships: Will Graham/Hannibal Lecter, Alana Bloom/Margot Verger, Dr. Frederick Chilton/Franklyn Froideveaux, Bella Crawford/Jack Crawford, Will Graham & Abigail Hobbs, Will Graham & Abigail Hobbs & Hannibal Lecter, Hannibal Lecter & Randall Tier, Beverly Katz & Jimmy Price & Brian Zeller, Beverly Katz/Brian Zeller, Beverly Katz & Will Graham, Francis Dolarhyde/Reba McClane

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - College/University, Professor AU, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Fluff, Dean Jack Crawford, Professor Hannibal, Professor Will, Soulmates, Murder On Campus, serial killer on the loose, The Great Red Dragon returns, Hannibal and Will team up, soul bonding, Faculty Meetings, Angst, Paperwork, Hannibal Loves Will, Will Loves Hannibal, Slow Burn, William Blake poetry references, Canon-Typical Violence, Rating May Change, Sex in later chapters?, Hannibal is Not a Cannibal, Suspense

read it on the AO3 at http://ift.tt/2pRWVag

#IFTTT #ao3feed #fanfic #Dr. Frederick Chilton #Chilton

[fandomlmagines]

Jack McClane || Die Hard || Requested

#jack mcclane #jack mcclane imagine #die hard #die hard imagine #imagines #imagine #other

[wayward-descendant]

Imagine going undercover for the CIA with Jack McClane.

[X]

#imagine jack mcclane #imagine die hard #jai courtney #jack mcclane #jack mcclane imagine #die hard imagine #die hard #a good day to die hard #imagine #imagines

[iammarylastar]

9. Corinne

“Daaaddyyy!” The little girl bursts into laughs, gasping for air.  “Jaaack! Please don’t stooop!” She cries, happy tears running down her chubby cheeks.

Jack keeps tickling his daughter, stuck into his grip, wiggling and giggling like a worm under the sweet torture. Laughing out loud, Jack glances lovingly at Shade, snapping some pics of this father-and-daughter’s moment with her phone.

“She sounds like her mother this morning so much!” John mocks the young couple, exhilarated.

“JOHN!” Both Jack and Shade scream, blushing.

“Oh oh calm down kids. Not my fault if the walls of the motel were so thin.” He jokes. “I’m the one who’s supposed to blush. There are things a father would rather never hear, I swear!”

John lifts his hands in front of him, looking innocent and shocked.

To tell the truth, Jack and Shade haven’t really been careful about the noises they made, making love again and again until the crack of dawn.  John has checked they were asleep and decent before letting the little girl entering her parents’ room, jumping on the bed to wake them up. Shade was spooned into Jack’s arms, his face buried in her neck, their legs intertwined under the sheets.

“Mom! Dad! Wake up! We brought you breakfast!” Anna sings, climbing on the sleeping forms.

Jack stirs up, a huge smile of satisfaction tapped on his tired face. He’ll get used to this kind of wake up, his love safely curled up against him, being called Dad by the little worm pecking his cheek at this early hour of the day.

“Morning lovebirds!” John knocks at the open door, his hands full of cups of coffee and brown bag of croissants and other French pastries he bought at the bakery near the motel.

“Morning John!” Jack never remembers feeling happy to see his dad.

Covering her bare skin with the white sheets, Shade sits up in the bed, welcoming Anna in a morning hug.

“Thanks John. For the breakfast. And for Anna.” She smiles genuinely.

“You’re welcome Honey. She slept like a rock all night and we had so much fun since we got up.”

“Don’t call her Honey, John. You don’t know the troubles you’re getting into.” Jack warns his father, gently stroking Shade’s cheek and Anna’s curls in the same movement.

Anna climbs on Jack’s lap and rubs his stubble with the palm of her tiny hand.

“Jack! You’re so itchy!” The little girl laughs. “Can I call you Dad?” She asks without hesitation.

“Of course you can darling.” Jack feels his heart growing heavy in his chest.

“Dad, have you kissed Mom yet?”

“I guess I can say yes, so many times.” He chuckles, winking at a blushing Shade.

Oh yes he had. Endlessly and on every piece of skin he could.

“Why do you ask?” His eyes follow the little girl settling down between them both.

“I told grand pa you should kiss Mom, so you could stop being sad and grumpy.” Anna states.

“You told that to Grand pa ?” Jack quirks an eyebrow, throwing an amused look to the unbreakable cop standing in front of him, a stupid happy smile on his face.

“I like the grand pa thing. Don’t laugh at me guys. You know how it is. I never refuse that pretty lady. ”

“Dad, when will we arrive to the vacation home? Grand pa promised me to take me fishing! Do you know there’s a river near the house?” Her eyes are sparkling in excitement.

“Yeah, great plans. I could teach you rowing a boat and swimming then. Let’s go! Just give us time to eat that delicious breakfast and we’re ready to go, darling!”

They’re now settled in the safe house, a wooden cabin, lost in the middle of nowhere on the shores of the Bear River. They head to Corinne, Utah, a tiny town one hour north of Salt Lake City, and were more than happy to get out of the car to enjoy the fresh air.

John laughed out of loud when seeing the sign saying the nearest City was Honeyville.

Releasing the little girl, his daughter, Jack holds Shade by the waist and pulls her closer, buried his face in her belly then settles her down on his lap.

“Tell me. How do I look as a Daddy?” He shows off with pride.

“I have to admit you’re doing great son. Look at her face, she looks so happy!” John says.

Jack shares a knowing and̀ amused look with Shade, who can’t help but smile, then kisses her lips, hugging her tight.

“I was talking about Anna, kids behave for God’s sake! ”

“Daddy! ” Anna sings from afar. “Come and find me, I'm hiding!”

“Let’s play hide and seek!” Jack stands up and kisses Shade before running to his daughter.

John looks at his son running away and sighs. “I’m happy for you Shade. I’ve never seen Jack so happy before. That’s something pretty unusual for a McLane.”

“I’m happy too John. And that’s pretty unusual for me as well.” She smiles.

“What’s that shit with Varela? How have you manage to gather clues, he’s known to be very careful and untouchable. ” John inquires.

“His love for sweets and Coke got the better of his pancreas and arteries. He’s been suffering from severe diabetes and renal failure for years. His condition got worse and he needed a live-in nurse and I applied for the position.”

“You’ve been hired?” It sounds too easy.

“I had sewed so many stitches and dressed so many wounds I made illusion. And you can’t imagine the power of a nurse blouse a size too small…” Shade tightens her arms each side of her chest, emphasizing her amazing boobs.

“Ouch! I totally could understand Honey.” John has the harder time to look back at Shade’s eyes.

“Don’t call me Honey McLane. Or I’ll kill you, grand pa or not.” They both burst into laugh.

*

“Shade?” Jack walks through the bunch of trees that separate the house from the boardwalk.

“Shade?” He asks again when nobody answers.

Where the fuck is she?

“Shade! What do you…” he stops in his tracks while seeing an almost naked Shade, standing at the end of the boardwalk, wearing nothing but black panties and a lustful glance.

“I thought a little swim would be nice and relaxing.” She says, sounding innocent.

Dammit, her pupils black with desire are screaming another story.

“ It’s a shame I forgot to bring my bikini with me…” she teases, slowly hooking the hem of her panties with her thumbs and pulling them down her thighs and legs.

Jack swallows hard, and follows the trip of the garment down her endless thighs until it pools on her feet. Stepping outside of the unnecessary cloth, she crosses her arms before her breasts, playing shy.

Jack steps forward, dead set to cover her naked body with his, but she jumps into the water before he could catch her.

“Shade!” He wanted to laugh but the tightness in his pants makes it sound different.

Shade laughs hard before his face and teases him more.

“You should come with me… it could help to cool you down! ”

Jack doesn’t think twice before he throws his clothes off.

“Holy shit! I can’t dive with this pole!"  Jack looks down his obvious desire for Shade.

She bursts into laughter as he cups his crotch in his hands and shyly jumps into the water.

"Come here. I’m sure I could help you to get rid of that embarrassing hardness.” She offers, her gaze unnecessarily teasing him.

He swims towards her but she doesn’t let him catch her, swimming and turning away from his grip.

“So what’s your plan McClane?"she asks, splashing water on his face.

"I was thinking of chasing you and making love to you. If you don’t mind of course…” Jack drowns his head halfway into the water, like a crocodile ready to jump on its prey, swimming slowly towards her.

“Sounds great! I meant what are your plans for me and Anna? For the future?” She hopes he would follow her, now and forever.

“Shade I love you. I love Anna. I don’t want to live without you. Would you still marry me after all that shit ends?”

“It depends on how much you love me.” She swam backwards, escaping his touch.

“God I love you Shade. I’m crazy about you.” He sounded desperate, desperate to have her back, desperate to touch her.

“You won’t go again?” She teased him.

“I swear I’ll stay glued to you forever.” Jack finally caught her and crashed her naked body against his. She’s the one who locked her thighs around him and grinded widely her waist on his shaft.

“Do you love me Cupcake?” Her lips were oh so slowly brushing Jack’s.

“I do love you Boo.” He grunted his heart on his lips.

“Show me.”

Jack stares hungrily at her, before stealing her lips in a passionate kiss. Her long legs wrapped around his waist, her feet crisscrossed behind his butt, Shade is eager to feel him deep inside her.

Lost in each other’s exploration, they dangerously sink into the water, but none of them gives a shit.  Jack slides two fingers inside Shade’s body, making her arch her back violently. He takes advantage of her offered neck and chest to buryhis face between her breasts and placed open mouth kisses around her nipples.

Jack manages to swim them back to the boardwalk, kicking only his legs, his hands busy to pleasure Shade. Leaning her against the pillar, their bodies colliding, Jack attacks her neck and jawline. Using the pillar as a leverage, he bucks his hips to enter her, their moans muffled by their kisses.

“Stay with me Boo. I’ve never stopped loving you.” He whispers between his groans.

Shade tightens her grip on him, no way she could let him go again.  “Show me. Show me how much you missed me.”

Jack doesn’t have to be asked twice and enthusiastically shows more of his love and devotion to her.

Exposed and vulnerable, they stay lost in each other, unaware of the danger coming up. If anything it would be the worst moment to undergo an armed attack.

Their dance of love gets deeper and faster until none of them could hold back neither their cries nor releases.

“YES !” Shade screams out loud as she comes violently, covering Jack’s grunts of release.

Panting, he rests his forehead against her and asks: “Is that your answer?”

Her eyes shine with happiness. “Yes Cupcake. Yes I do.”

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#live and die hard #corinne #jack mcclane #jack and shade #9 #die hard