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bitterkarella · 2 months

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Midnight Pals: The Weed that Makes you Depressed

Algernon Blackwood: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this the tale of the haunted weed Blackwood: so there's this weed that's SO dank Blackwood: that if you smoke it Blackwood: a ghost will get you Poe: yeah that is Poe: that is pretty dank

Blackwood: see, this weed is SO DANK that a humor writer smoked it Blackwood: and he just got super depressed Blackwood: he couldn't even reassure his readers that he was not making it up

Blackwood: so this humorist smoked the weed that makes you depressed, says life seems harsh and cruel, says he feels all alone in a threatening world where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. Blackwood: John Silence says, 'Treatment is simple.' Blackwood: 'The Great humorist Pagliacci is in town tonight.'

Fitz James O'Brien: hey guys O'Brien: check it out, i got the weed that makes you depressed Poe: why do you even have that? Poe: how is there possibly a market for that?

Franz Kafka: can i try it? O'Brien: no no no franz this is too strong for you O'Brien: only someone naturally ebullient and hilarious can handle this dank nug Kim Newman: [bowtie spinning] heyza heyza i just flew in from albaquerie and boy are my arms tired Newman: what's this about dank nugs

King: look! it's kim newman! Poe: oh good i could use a laugh Kim Newman: siiighhh King: you feeling ok, kim? Newman: i dunno, i just haven't been my usual jokey self Newman: i've just been so depressed Newman: it must be because i smoked the weed that makes you depressed

Newman: so i smoked the weed that makes you depressed Poe: you smoked the what? Newman: the weed that makes you depressed Poe: the weed that makes you depressed? Newman: yeah the weed that makes you depressed Poe: excuse me? Newman: i gotta tell you about this weed Newman: it made me depressed

Blackwood: so anyway John Silence has to fight the weed that makes you depressed Blackwood: but it makes him see visions of phantom cats Lovecraft: i don't understand how this would make anyone depressed Lovecraft: seems pretty great to me, honestly!

#midnight pals #the midnight society #midnight society #stephen king #edgar allan poe #hp lovecraft #kim newman #franz kafka #algernon blackwood #fitz james o'brien

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sinraisedtoanartform · 17 days

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I find it so hot & erotic that the first time Sebastian meets the Professor in The Hound of the D’urbersvilles he straight up gives himself to him. his experience meeting this man is so profound and impactful a switch in his brain flips & goes ‘yup, he owns me’ no questions asked. He just decided Moriarty is his everything & I love that for him. This tougher than nails, killer who has seen death in all forms, who has explored unknown lands, who gambles with life possibly on the daily. Spends a couple of minutes in the presence of this ‘cobra, eyed mother fucker that stirs insane deep uncomfortable feelings in him’ & he is completely cool for Moriarty to do as he will with him. In Moran’s own words:

“I knew, my destiny & his Wound together, it was a sensation I had never gotten before, upon meeting a man, when I had it from women, the upshot ranged from disappointment to attempted murder, understand me, Professor James Moriarty was a hateful man, the most hateful, hatable creature I have ever known, not excluding Sir Augustus & Kali’s kitten & the abdominal snow bastard & the reverent Henry James Prince. He was something man snapped that had crawled out from under a rock & moved into the madder house. But at that moment I was his, & I remained his forever. If I am remembered it will be because I knew him. From that day on. He was my father, my commanding officer, my heathen idol, my fortune & rapture. god I could do with a stiff drink.”

-Col. Sebastián Basher Moran. The Houd of the D’urbersvilles. By Kim Newman

#The Hound of the D’urbersvilles #Kim Newman #Professor James Moriarty #Sebastian Moran #rambles #devotion #think piece #Mormor #Sherlock Fandom but evil #Sherlock Fandom #Mormor fandom #My guy is gay wether he realizes or not

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brokehorrorfan · 1 month

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Bound in Blood will be published in hardcover and e-book on September 10 via Titan Books. The 357-page anthology of cursed stories is edited by Johnny Mains.

It features stories by Adam Cesare, Eric LaRocca, Zin Rocklyn, Nadia Bulkin, Isy Suttie, Charlie Higson, Angeline Morrison, A.G. Slatter, Priya Sharma, A.K. Benedict, Guy Adams, Lucie McKnight Hardy, Ramsey Campbell, Alison Moore, Laura Mauro, Reggie Oliver, Anna Taborska, and Kim Newman.

A terrifying and chilling anthology of over 20 original stories by award-winning writers exploring cursed and haunted books; featuring malevolent second-hand books, cursed novelizations, unsettling journals and the end of the world. You find it hidden in the dark corner of the bookstore; tucked away in a box in the attic, desperate to be read; lurking on your bookshelf, never seen before. Crack the spine, feel the ancient pages. Read it aloud, if you dare. This anthology brings together horror’s best and brightest to delve into the pages of cursed books, Eldtritch tomes and haunted bookstores.

Pre-order Bound in Blood.

#adam cesare #kim newman #eric larocca #priya sharma #charlie higson #ramsey campbell #horror #horror books #horror anthology #titan books #book #gift #johnny mains #isy suttie

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shadeslayer · 6 months

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the best published moran & moriarty fiction and it calls moran his fucking dog and then moran possibly is the one who kills him at reichenbach. they invented toxic yaoi

#otp: your master whistles #mormor #hound of the d'ubervilles #kim newman #dubervilles is the one irene mischaracterization i will allow.#kashoplili #theres so many scenes that r sooo good but dont have succinct lines to use for an otp tag

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reinekes-fox · 1 month

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@0nelittlebirdtoldme

I just stumbled upon Anno Dracula, it sounds like a wild ride!

#anno dracula #Kim Newman

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omercifulheaves · 2 years

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Drachenfels Art by Akihiro Yamada

#kim newman #games workshop #warhammer fantasy battle #drachenfels #akihiro yamada #jack yeovil

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dragynkeep · 10 months

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What happened to Kim Newman?

tldr was that she was mocapping & ended up fracturing her spine, as well as having further pain related injuries due to this initial one. she attempted to put in for worker's compensation to deal with her medical bills & being out of work only for rooster teeth to fuck her over, which. burn in hell rt.

#kim newman #rwde #rooster teeth #anti rooster teeth #ais.txt #answered #q #burnie can have 5+ teslas all custom painted #but animators can't get workers compensation for a #BROKEN SPINE? straight to fcking hell is2g

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holmesoldfellow · 6 months

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"Gaslight Grimoire" series, including the works of many authors, edited by J. R. Campbell and Charles Prepolec

"Gaslight Grimoire: Fantastic Tales of Sherlock Holmes," "Gaslight Grotesque: Nightmare Tales of Sherlock Holmes," "Gaslight Arcanum: Uncanny Tales of Sherlock Holmes," and "Gaslight Gothic: Strange Tales of Sherlock Holmes."

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zippocreed501 · 5 months

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#best new horror #billy martin #neil gaiman #stephen gallagher #tanith lee #lisa tuttle #kim newman #horror

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goshdangronpa · 1 year

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"Screw it, Danganronpa Vampire AU" pt. 1 (Trigger Happy Havoc)

So, Danganronpa is my favorite video game series. My favorite book series is Anno Dracula, an alternate timeline created by Kim Newman in which Bram Stoker's Count not only survives the events of the novel, but becomes king of England and reveals the existence of vampires to the world. Newman's books explore the ramifications across world history, with real figures (Queen Victoria, the Red Baron, Winston Churchill) and even characters crossing over from other fictions (Inspector Lestrade, James Bond) being vampires thenselves.

Rereading the terrific first book naturally got my mind mixing these two fixations. How might Danganronpa's characters be different in an AU where turning isn't unusual and many vampires live alongside, and sometimes in tension with, the "warm"? I'm gonna write a few posts, starting with the cast of Trigger Happy Havoc

Aoi Asahina: swimming is hardly a problem for vampires, who don't need to hold their breath. It's all the more impressive that a warm girl like Aoi can beat them in races, winning her an Ultimate slot. She'll never turn - she loves the flavor of high-calorie snacks too much to settle for an all-blood diet.

Byakuya Togami: warm for now - he believes vampirism is the natural choice for supreme human beings like himself, but he'd rather not be a teen for the rest of his life. Unfortunately for him, that means Genocide Jack can still drink his blood, and Toko can simultaneously live out a vampire master/human servant fantasy. Proof that the warm can be just as cold as the dead.

Celestia Ludenberg: claims to be a vampire of Countess Elizabeth Bathory's bloodline, but isn't even a vampire. She sure wants to be, though, and fantasizes just as much as her normal DR version about living in a castle with a harem of vampire boys.

Chihiro Fujisaki: warm, yet a firm believer in vampire supremacy. Even in regular DR, she believes there are two types of people in this dog-eat-dog world: the strong and the weak. She wants Mondo to turn her so she can be among the strong. Something odd happens in her murder, causing her spirit to wander the school before settling in a laptop. From inside the computer, she manually codes a presentation of herself - not AI, but the two Chihiro.

Hifumi Yamada: honestly, he probably wouldn't be that different. I do like the idea of him becoming Celestia's drudge, manipulated into believing he must serve her even though she doesn't have any vampire powers to actually enchant him like that.

Junko Enoshima: the rare vampire who shows up on film, but her true nature is a well-kept secret. In this version of THH, it really is Junko who gets impaled on the Spears of Gungnir (sorry, Mukuro fans). However, she designed them to miss her chest and heart. She spends the rest of the game recovering with supernatural healing, fueled by feeding off the blood of victims and executed blackeneds. More dangerous still, she's an energy vampire who feeds on other people's despair. If ever Dracula had an heir, it was her.

Kiyotaka Ishimaru: despite his father turning vampire as a means of advancing his political career, he remains warm. His friendship with Mondo challenges his negative bias against vampires. "Ishimondo" remains as bizarre and inexplicable as in the game - he's no longer fully warm, though a gross attempt at drinking blood suggests he didn't somehow become fully a vampire either.

Kyoko Kirigiri: tell me this girl wouldn't be a vampire. She refuses to share her turning experience, which may have something to do with her perpetually gloved hands. Her nature enhances her perception of small details, an asset to her detective work. However, the transactional nature of vampirism strongly influences her worldview, making her sensitive when she feels like others aren't giving her as much as she's giving them.

Leon Kuwata: another character who likely wouldn't be too different. In besting and slaying Sayaka, he'd mainly serve in the narrative to prove that the warm can be just as physically powerful and lethally dangerous as vampires.

Makoto Naegi: warm and perfectly ordinary as ever. He's a little nervous around vampires, having not met many before. He warms up to them as he gets to know them, especially Kyoko, who gives much of her blood to him after he nearly dies in his botched execution. His first time in a bloodgiving interaction gives him the power and vitality to defeat the mastermind, and his spreading of hope to his peers deprives Junko of the despair that gives her such great power. If Junko is Dracula, Makoto is the sun.

Mondo Owada: turned vampire so he could be even gnarlier and stronger, though his brother Daiya chose to remain warm. He became reckless like so many young vampires and would've been killed once had Daiya not sacrificed himself for him. He tries to give Chihiro what she wants, but her twisted views of vampiric masculinity unintentionally hit him where it hurts. The resulting mental break makes him lose control of his feeding, draining her to death.

Sakura Ogami: fully warm. Even with their enhanced strength, all but the fiercest elders would fall in battle with her, more than earning her the title of Ultimate Martial Artist. Jealous rivals speculate that she allows vampires to feed on her so some of their power can transfer to her in the process.

Sayaka Maizono: turning vampire was one of the many choices she felt compelled to make for the sake of her music career. If she can't age, she can be a teen idol forever. This version really is an esper. A silver knife to the chest kills her just as good as in the game.

Toko Fukawa: her split identity was always too cartoony to really fit any real condition or disorder. Here, she's a halfa, Blade-style, compartmentalizing her human and vampire sides into Toko and Genocide Jack. Of course it's not healthy, as Jack tends to kill those she feeds on (cute boys are her preference). Even that changes when she meets a certain girl in Towa City ...

Yasuhiro Hagakure: warm, but a Hope's Peak research team infused him as a child with the blood of multiple psychic vampires until he became a greater psychic than all of them. Otherwise as chipper and unserious as ever.

And Monokuma can be a little bat. Monokomori.

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stainlesssteellocust · 3 months

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Kim Newman aka Jack Yeovil: This is my hot vampire OC Genevieve she has a lot of sex and explicitly looks not a day older than sixteen, I will repeat that fact a lot, I will have her and the narration make jokes about it, she looks sixteen years old, this is not weird I swear

Every cover artist on Drachenfels and Anno Dracula, ever: Nah fuck that this is a grown ass woman and we are drawing her as such

#Genevieve Dieudonné #warhammer #warhammer fantasy #warhammer the old world #anno dracula #kim newman #jack yeovil #black library #vampires

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bitterkarella · 8 months

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Midnight Pals: Bon Mots

Oscar Wilde: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this the tale of the ugly painting Wilde: but first Wilde: some patented oscar wilde bon mots Wilde: the only thing worse than being talked about is Wilde: go ahead, guess Mary Shelley: i ain't playing this game

Oscar Wilde: I hear some of you don't appreciate my bon mots Poe: oh er Poe: it's not that oscar Poe: it's just that Poe: Poe: clive do you want to pitch in here? Barker: no you're doing fine Barker: haha

Wilde: what's the problem? Poe: oh it's not you oscar, it's us Poe: its just that your wit is too droll for this audience Wilde: really? too droll? Wilde: Wilde: you're just saying that to be nice Poe: no! NO of course not

Oscar Wilde: okay okay just give me another chance Wilde: now this bon mot Wilde: this one i think you're gonna like Wilde: [clears throat] Wilde: so why is it that you park on a driveway and Barker: BOOO Wilde: drive on a Barker: BOOOOOOO

Wilde: ok ok just wait Wilde: this next one Wilde: oh boy Wilde: this next one's gonna kill Wilde: you ready for this one?? alright here it comes Wilde: what's black and white and red all over Barker: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Barker: BOOOOOOOO!!! Wilde: [tugging collar] woof tough crowd tonight Wilde: steve must be out sick Wilde: better bring out the big guns Wilde: ok so there's this traveling insurance saleman Wilde: and there's this farmer with these 3 horny daughters

Barker: BOOO Poe: clive Barker: what? he sucks Poe: yeah but Poe: god, for pity's sake, clive Poe: he's dying out there

King: look, oscar, maybe it's just that your style of humor isn't right for this crowd Wilde: what kind of humor do you guys like King: well, we're all horror writers King: so kim newman

Kim Newman: [pulling up in a comically undersized bicycle as 'Entrance of the Gladiators' plays on calliope] DID SOMEONE SAY MY NAME???

Kim Newman: good evening ladies and germs [rimshot] Newman: i just flew in from san francisco and boy are my arms tired [rimshot] Newman: [waggles eyebrow, bowtie spins] Barker: now THAT'S comedy Poe: he's done it again! Koontz: i like THESE bon mots! Wilde:

#midnight pals #the midnight society #midnight society #stephen king #clive barker #edgar allan poe #dean koontz #mary shelley #kim newman #oscar wilde

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brokehorrorfan · 1 year

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The Assassination Bureau will be released on Blu-ray on April 25 via Arrow Video. The 1969 British black comedy adventure is also known as The Assassination Bureau Limited.

Basil Dearden (Dead of Night) directs from a script by Michael Relph, based on Jack London's unfinished novel. Oliver Reed, Diana Rigg, and Telly Savalas star with Curd Jürgens, Philippe Noiret, and Warren Mitchell.

The Assassination Bureau is presented in high definition with original lossless mono audio. It features reversible artwork. Special features are detailed below.

Special features:

Audio commentary by film historians Sean Hogan and Kim Newman (new)

Right Film, Wrong Time - Appreciation by film historian Matthew Sweet (new)

Original trailer

Image gallery

Booklet featuring new writing Katherine McLaughlin (first pressing only)

6 lobby card reproductions (first pressing only)

London, 1908. When feisty journalist and women’s rights campaigner Sonia Winter (Diana Rigg) uncovers the headquarters of the Assassination Bureau Limited, a clandestine enterprise that has existed for decades by bumping off the rich and powerful – but only if there’s a good moral reason for it – she sets on a path of putting an end to its activities. Bankrolled by her press baron boss, Lord Bostwick (Telly Savalas), she commissions the organisation to undertake the assassination of its very own chairman, Ivan Dragomiloff (Oliver Reed). Being the gentleman that he is, Dragomiloff responds to the assignment with glee, challenging his fellow board members to complete the contract. Only they’ll have to catch him first…

#the assassination bureau #oliver reed #diana rigg #telly savalas #basil dearden #arrow video #dvd #gift #kim newman #black comedy #60s movies #1960s movies #curd jürgens #philippe noiret #jack london

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genlockfans · 2 years

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Kim Newman former lead animator on gen:LOCK season 1

#gen:lock #gen:LOCK crew #Kim Newman #rooster teeth animation

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silentlondon · 6 months

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Phantom Pipes: Häxan at Regent Street Cinema

I am almost home from my festival jaunts, and it seems the weather has turned chilly since I left home. The nights are drawing in, the candles are flickering… it must be spooky season. Why not kick off your annual creepathon with a screening of a silent classic: Benjamin Christensen’s 1922 demonic drama-documentary Häxan? My excellent friends at Evolution of Horror, who leave no stone in scary…

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#Benjamin Christensen #Evolution of Horror #featured #haxan #horror #James Swanton #Kim Newman #organ #Regent Street Cinema #silent film

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ulrichgebert · 8 months

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Bevor jetzt auch noch die Urlaublektüre hinterherhinkt, hier noch schnell die total literarische Leseliste.

Die literarische Vorlage. Wie der Film ist sie recht reißerisch, und spielt statt im irgendwie angenommenen Berlin überraschenderweise über weite Strecken in München (ist für Schmuggeltätigkeiten über den Bodensee auch viel praktischer).

Die literarische Nachbereitung. Will Self imitiert einen bekannten Roman von Oscar Wilde. Es sind die 1980, mit AIDS (sonderbar viele AIDS-Dramen gerade...), hemmungslosem Drogenkonsum und Prinzessin Diana. Der attraktive, aber zügellose und unmoralische Dorian Gray scheint nicht zu altern, stattdessen altert die Videoinstallation, die sein Künstlerfreund Basil von ihm geschaffen hat.....

Der literarische Politikunterricht. Der gute Herr Wieland hält den Regierenden -als verschachtelte und mit diversen Meta-Übersetzung-Ebenen (aus dem scheschianischen) Erzählung aus einem fernen Märchenland mit Sultan, Philosoph und natürlich Haremdsdamen- einen goldnen Spiegel vor. Es hat sich offensichtlich in den 250 Jahren seither wenig am Konzept der wohlmeinenden, aber trotzdem die Zustände nur verschlimmernden Regierung geändert, so daß man es eigentlich immer noch hervorragend verwenden kann.

Die literarische Feierstunde von John Waters. Die Freuden der Jugend, das hatte ich hier schon angekündigt, wollte ich nochmal im O-Ton lesen (da hatte ich lustigerweise auch einen Wieland direkt davor). Vielleicht gibt es ja keinen besseren Roman auf der Welt.

Das literarische und popkulturelle Suchspiel in der bewährt süchtigmachenden Kim-Newman-Manier. In den Katakomben unter der Paris Oper betreibt Erik, bekannt als das Phantom derselben eine kleine Agentur, die sich um Ermittlungen und gelegentliche Auftragsmorde für Fälle, in denen die Polizei lieber nicht eingeschaltet wird kümmert. Ausführendes Organ sind -ähnlich funktionierend wie später bei Charlie- immer drei Engel der Musik, die ersten sind (natürlich) Christine Daaé, Trilby O'Ferrall und die bewährte Irene Adler, dazu kommen immer neue aus den Höchst- und Tiefstunterhaltungen, in denen sich Mr. Newman so schön auskennt, besonders freuten mich natürlich die Imitationskünstlerin Mrs. Eynsford-Hill und Gilberte Lachaille, nur Sibyl Vane, die englische Schauspielerin, die gerade erst drei Bücher zuvor als Strichjunge Herman auftauchte, war kein rechter Erfolg.

Das gefeierte literarische Wunderkind befand, in seinem dritten Roman sei es mal Zeit, sich Gedanken über seine unaufgeregt selbstverständliche Homosexualität zu machen, und sorgte damit natürlich doch für einige Aufregung. Obwohl es im Vergleich mit Myra Breckinridge noch geradezu gediegen wirkt. Und nur so ein mittelgutes Ende nimmt. Thomas Mann immerhin befand, es sei ein edles Werk.

#Buch gelesen #Norbert Jacques #Dr. Mabuse der Spieler #Will Self #Dorian #Christoph Martin Wieland #Der goldne Spiegel #Denton Welch #In Youth is Pleasure #Kim Newman #Angels of Music #Gore Vidal #The City and the Pillar #Oscar Wilde #The Picture of Dorian Gray #Gaston Leroux #The Phantom of the Opera

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