The Nurse (Part Eight) || Rick Grimes (TWD)
Part One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight
AVAILABLE ON AO3
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Summary: Before all this, you were a nurse. A nurse who had patients, one of which was a man in a coma. A sheriff, you think, it was all kinda fuzzy now. When it all went sideways, you set up what you could for the man - but had to leave. You’d always wondered where he’d ended up; until in your search of shelter, you run into a familiar face.
TWS: Blood, gore, angst, mentions of death, gun violence (just violence in general), mention of trauma, crying, threats, Rick is kind of losing it???, talk about never seeing someone again, swearing, and all things typical of TWD.
[[A/N: Unhinged Rick is kind of in for me rn so... Yeah, that's how this came about. Do I know anything about the Governor's first attack on the prison? No. This is very lightly based on the plot. I listened to 'As the World Caves In' by Matt Matese when I was writing this... so, BEWARE. I did cry while writing this... Enjoy! Thanks for reading :)) ]]
The first thing you heard of it was the noise. It was a loud engine, almost, and a rumbling across the ground. Loud and threatening, it only grew louder.
Something was coming.
Your head was blurry then, you moved through your office with quick hands -stashing whatever you could find into your cross-body bag. Somehow getting through the bleary alarm of Rick and the kids, echoing through your brain like the flashing lights of a police cruiser. You'd say you were proud of yourself, but there wasn't time.
A sting registering far off in your head, you zipped up the bag and tossed it over your shoulder -easily welding your weapon in the other. Ever since your people had started going missing, you'd been expecting it -somewhere deep in your head, you knew it could never be this perfect. It was pessimistic, sure, but you were in the apocalypse, you figured it was natural.
And then, you were on your feet. The speed at which you traveled along was a blur in your head, as you pushed through the few people that remained in the prison huddled behind different objects. You didn't stop to think of why.
"Y/N, what's-" a voice started, in that moment you barely recognized her -you'd seen her in the office once. That's all you could remember.
"J-Judith," you interrupted, voice desperate and strained against your throat -it was like the worry was clawing up, suffocating you.
She paused, eyeing your despair with a sort of sympathy, "I- I don't know, I'm sorry. I think Beth went up there last. I'm so sorry-"
You didn't even hesitate, pushing past her without so much as an extra thought. Judith's room, she was... Fuck, why couldn't you remember it now? Your eyes blinked in a bleary sort of haze, tears rising behind them, and you cursed at the sobs bubbling up your throat.
"Not now," you whispered into the empty hallway, trying to grasp the ground beneath you, "-not now."
Before you could get much farther, you heard something. There was a familiar tone, distant but you knew that tone. Something came over you, and you spun in your path determined that if Rick was out there, the kids were no doubt safe. Rick would never-
And then, the rumbling came to a stop under your feet.
A loud voice rang out through the air, you hadn't heard it before, but somehow you knew. Rick had told you enough about the thinning safety, despite him working so effortlessly to clear out the cell blocks. And Andrea...
"What do I want, Rick?"
You stepped out into the more open room, eyes catching on a few faces hidden behind the block walls -afraid of what was to come. And then, you saw him.
The Governor with a tank right at the gates, and your body stilled at recognizing one of the few figures framed out there: Rick.
"Little birdie told me that you have two doctors 'round here," his voice echoed out, and you watched as one too many eyes fell to you, "-think you can spare one for Woodbury?"
There was something in the way he said it, the slight lilt in his words to Rick, that made you know he was looking for you. He was looking to hurt Rick physically, and you were you. Andrea had told him so much, why not the thing between you and Rick?
You swung around, facing the crowd and trying to find any sort of familiar face -one you could trust. And then you saw him, Hershel.
His leg was still bandaged, but he was still trying to rise at the words -eager to help. Something in you knew he couldn't leave like this. The Governor wouldn't have sympathy, he'd die. He couldn't do whatever the Governor asked, but you... you could.
"Hershel," you whispered out in a hush, stopping the movement in it's tracks, "-stop. I need you to hold on to this for me, okay? You should know what everything i-"
"No," he answered, simply -desperately.
"Yes," you bit back the thickness in your throat, and tried to steady your voice, "-I... I have to."
"I can go."
"No," you spoke back, not breaking eye contact, "-you can't. You and I both know that. He wants me."
Hershel sighed, heavy, holding your hands in his -the only thing shining in his eyes was a deep sort of resignation. You didn't let him say another word.
It might change your mind, but you couldn't change your mind.
This was what you had to do, it was what would be better for the group -you'd do it. You'd do anything for these people, and with Hershel still there, it was easier.
You turned back around, now, only brandishing your weapon -a sort of deep heaviness in your chest but a fire in your eyes.
Rick had his back turned to you -fully focused on the opposite side of the fence. He stood tall, right in the path of the tank -if the Governor were to move it anymore. The fingers around your weapon tightened, as you pushed forward -eager to fix it because you knew you could.
"Well, hello," the Governor spoke, eye settling on you -carefully trying to recognize you (probably from Andrea's description), "-Y/N I presume, lovely for you to join us."
At your name, you saw Rick still -back still facing you, but you could almost see the bristle of tension hitting his shoulders. You figured he'd react that way, didn't help the soft twist in your chest -a sickening sort of guilt. As long as he was still alive, you could live with that.
Your response was quick, tone a touch less friendly to him, "Well, you asked for me, didn't you?"
"Smart one you got here, Rick."
That made his head swift towards the Governor, a heat heavy behind his eyes and a shift in his jaw. It was something so different than what you knew Rick to be -you felt a little out of place at the change. But something in you was pleased somehow at the anger for you.
Rick spoke, tone harsh but not moving in his stance at all -eyes speaking well enough for him, "I won't give up any of my people."
"Right," the Governor spoke, eyes looking to you, "-think we've covered that."
You stilled ever so slightly under his gaze, trying to stand tall in the face of a man who could surely end many lives in your group. Hand white knuckling your weapon, you didn't flinch at the attention.
As expected, he spoke to you, "What do you think? Do you want to chance your people?"
Your mouth opened, but he only continued.
"I'm sure you've seen what these things do to people," he gestured to the crowds of walkers around the fence -drawn to the noise, "-probably on the front lines, huh?"
Your mind was distantly filled with the hospital -blood on your scrubs, screams of a nurse. You remembered the first time you'd ever seen one, a patient had died -sudden cardiac arrest. An intern, god she was so young- had gone to check the vitals for some unusual behavior. An unhinged jaw-
No one had expected it.
"I-" you started, wishing the sob in your throat to go back down.
The Governor brought you no relief, crouching down to grab a jaw of a walker -pulling it close to the fence, "How much damage could this do? You probably know, right? Can you imagine what a crowd of them could do?"
You exhaled, trying to shake away the rush of emotions, now was not a good time. You hadn't thought about it all since... since it happened.
"Stop," Rick's voice was low, almost a growl.
"Oh, Sheriff to the rescue-" the Governor grinned, throwing the walker to the ground without so much as an extra thought, "-whose surprised?"
Squeezing the fabric of your shirt ever so slightly, fingers brushing against it -desperately trying to ground you at the moment. Exhaling, you stood just as tall -the slight shake of your hands barely noticeable against your stiffened form.
"Stop," Rick repeated, low and somehow balanced in his tone.
You exhaled, standing your ground -matching Rick's eyes with a sense of calm, "You don't?"
The Governor stalled slightly, just a slight flinch -your eyes could see it though. You knew of his loss, Michonne had told the group what she'd done to explain the furious rage after her.
"Haven't you had someone ripped to shreds by one? Teeth gnashing, skin ripping-" your voice was shaking, but you could see it working, "-or did you not? Were you not even there when it happened?"
The Governor was unsettled -a sort of unease on his face, "Brave, that's very brave, Y/N. Threatening the guy with a tank, that's new."
Rick was looking at you in hurried glances, eyes heavy on the shaking of your hands. He was trying to look over you, even in such a tense situation; something in you warmed at the thought. But you didn't have the nerve to look back at him -you wouldn't have the strength to leave if you did.
With the murmur of memories low in the back of your head, you braced yourself, "I'll go with you."
That sent Rick spinning to look at you, a threatening loom on his eyebrows -something hurt in his eyes, even out of the corner of your sight, it still seemed to squeeze your heart. Mouth forming to say something, and you weren't sure you could listen.
"A volunteer!" he yelled, cutting off the heavy eye contact, "This place that bad?"
"As long as you take that out of here," you ignored him -pointing at the tank just a breath from the fence that protected everyone in the prison, "-I'll... I'll go to Woodbury."
"Tough bargain," the Governor hummed in a sort of selfish sort of tone as if he was actually considering it. Like it wasn't exactly what he wanted.
"Y/N," Rick's voice was soft -just for you to hear, eyes turned to you and you couldn't help but look back this time. You saw it then, a sort of sadness deep in them -one you hadn't seen since... since you'd known him.
You mustered what you could, trying to tell him everything you could in that split second you had. Conveying how much you cared, that you were doing this for him. He had to know it was for him-
"Rick, this is what I have to do," your voice was shaky, the threat of tears looming ever-present, barely loud enough to hear over the crowd of anguish.
"You don't have to do anythin', nothin'. I can-"
"Rick," you whispered -a plead for him to listen, to accept it, "-I'm doing this. It's better for everyone, you have to understand-"
He stared at you, heavy with a sort of feeling that you felt in your own heart then. A sort of deep sorrow bubbling up in your chest -tightening against your heart, a sort of suffocating feeling. You swallowed it down the best you could, the catch in your throat so loud. You can't give in, you can't give in-
"Please," he uttered, shaky and open and vulnerable, it was the final straw. As he looked at you with such an honest open plea, something deep twisted in your stomach -a fiery mix of what fear you felt then, and what you felt for Rick.
Your words were quiet, so only he could hear them -you only wanted him to hear them. Last words skimming through your head, what was the last possible thing you ever wanted to say to him? If this was it, what did you want him to know?
"I love you."
It came out in a gust of air, breathed out, and for a second you worried he'd even heard it. It was so quiet that the wind could've caught it and blown it like a leaf -away from the intended ears. But then, you saw him.
He looked at you, he always was, but this time it was like he was really seeing you for the first time -a desperate sort of frantic search over you. If it was the last time, you imagined he'd want to remember it -every hair strand, every tear of your clothes, every scar on your face.
You knew because you wanted to remember his.
Steeling your face into something far less emotional, you spoke -curt and direct, "When are we leaving?"
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