#Mid-terms bitting me rn

[mint-termsandconditions]

I LOVE MAKING MY MINI KIRBYS INTERACT WITH STUFF ON MY DESK!!! ⭐️👹👹👹⭐️

This is very self indulgent posting

#I’m slightly nervous posting this because idk if this is too much information to locate where I live but I’m happy with how this turned out #Mid-terms bitting me rn #I’m glad I made liking Kirby an obvious personality trait of mines because most of these things were gifted to me #Also please acknowledge the monkey Russian dolls #they’re great #on talking terms #kirby #I suck at taking pictures btw #Religious jumpscare btw acknowledge it if you want

[reel-fear]

I think we need to bring back 'troll fics' but very specifically the ones where you are very much trying to potray the views and opinions of a made up author bc those ones are just objectively the funniest. Like I get why they went of out fashion a lot of them use tropes that can be mean spirited or even bigoted and not all of them were really funny. Typos can only be hilarious to read out loud for so long but also I do miss the days when u would read the most batshit plot and it basically laid out the authors opinions on certain fandom stuff very plainly. Stuff like when you didn't like a certain ship for some reason the way you would cope was by making a fic where your NOTP are together but one of them is a acoholic and the character u want to get with someone else constantly thinks abt how they totally made the wrong choice. Like no matter how nice and calm the characters would be if they were in a popular ship ppl didn't like suddenly you would get fics where they actually were super controlling and horrible. And it was bad dont get me wrong, it uses abuse as nothing more than a plot point to get a character to then claim they made the 'wrong choice' and get with a different person... But it was also really funny how far people went with it sometimes-

#ramblez #this goes doubly for fics where the entire premise was like a person who was super homophobic tryna justify having any kind of #lgbt+ ships- #shout out to all the accidental Bee is trans fics that were usually kinda offensive in hindsight but on the occasion could be very based #for the time they came out- #there's so many fics out there that were just like Bee used to be a girl but became a boy and everybody is surprised to find that out #and usually it would be a bit offensive but I remember sometimes I would read them and be like wow #thats surprisingly progressive for someone who likely didnt even know what transgender meant or that its a real thing- #its also just kinda funny bc like I said most of these people clearly dont know what being transgender is or means #so the characters almost always use weird language or terms to refer to it. Which is just kinda funny to me- #I just miss 2000s cringey n weird fics sometimes #like the ones where u would copy and paste song lyrics mid fic or even link a song in the middle of it #esp ones with authors notes in the middle of them that were always like "OMGG BEEE u r bein soooo homo rn XD LOL #I just miss that stuff-

[samkerrworshipper]

After seeing the pics of alexia at the Barça basketball game could you do one where she is finally playing the wag role for reader? Just overall enjoying being readers number one fan

on the sidelines

alexia putellas x reader

just a lil fluffy blurb that i wrote in half an hour… defo no proof read or spell checked so sorry in advance xo

desperately working on getting some more reqs out for y’all but i’m so overhauled with coursework that it’s taking me way longer so sorry if your request gets ignored as of rn mid terms are killing me ☠️

“A triple double, Y/n, one incredible feat, how do you feel knowing that your team is through to the play offs?”

You were buzzing, still coming down from the endorphin high as you tried to focus on the reporter who had been the first to attack you as soon as you’d finished shaking hands with your opponents, not even giving you the opportunity to leave the court.

“Every game is a team game, I’m obviously wrapped, but half of that wouldn’t have happened without my teammates. I’m obviously elated that we’re through to finals, the job starts now for us, everything we’ve worked for this season falls down to the next few weeks so we work hard, it’s not over until the final siren.”

The reporter smiled at you and you gave your signature smile back to the camera, trying to get this over and done with as soon as possible.

“The modesty is appreciated, but how did you feel about coming second in the league MVP poll earlier in the week?”

You bit down on your lap, it was a rude question, but you had been prepared for it.

“Obviously I would have loved to come home with the trophy, but it wasn’t meant to be. I have so much respect for Stewie and she deserved the award just as much as anybody else who we were contending against. Honestly, I couldn’t give two shits about individual awards, what matters to me is this playoffs series and maybe I can bring that trophy home instead.”

You smiled once again at the reporter and camera, slowly becoming more uncomfortable with the conversation the longer it went on.

“Now, we all have some questions about the trip down under you took a few weeks ago, any particular reason you decided to go home?”

You began to haphazardly fiddle with the microphone in your hands, willing for this interview to conclude so you could just enjoy your win.

“I missed home, the few days that I spent their were really nice and the team can tell you that since then I have been in much better spirits, sometimes you just need a reset and it was just really good timing that we had the two week break.”

The reporter smirked at you and you could feel the underlying question under her smirk.

“So nothing to do with your visit aligning with the World Cup final and one particular Spanish player who’s here tonight, sporting your number?”

You felt your face flush a little bit at the unforgiving blatancy of the reporter, very quickly trying to remember everything they’d taught you about avoiding questions in media training.

“A good friend of mine, Sam, extended the invitation and gave me some tickets to the finals games so how could I refuse? I mean the sheer pride for the Tillies that I held watching them progress was insane, nothing better than seeing women's sport be elevated at home.”

You could tell the reporter was nagging for you to answer the part of her question that you were ignoring.

“So just a coincidence then that you happened to spend a few days in Barcelona on a layover before returning back to New York?”

You bit the inside of the cheek, this wasn’t what you’d been expecting after winning one of the biggest games in your career.

“Are you implying something, Jackie?”

Your eyebrows rose in mock sarcasm, trying to laugh off the situation and make the reporter understand the message that this wasn’t something you wanted to talk about.

“Simply wondering whether you had anything to do with the presence of Alexia Putellas, or as we all know her, La Reina at tonight's game, and if she happened to be the person you were looking up at tonight everytime you scored?”

You shivered at the mention of her name.

“Alexia and I are good friends, and I will leave it at that.”

You smiled at the camera, enough of a smile that it was genuine but not enough to lead anybody on, because that wasn’t what you wanted to do, you wanted to leave them hanging.

“Good friends that wear each other's jerseys to each other's matches?”

You smirked at the camera, the annoyance of this situation slowly getting to you more and more.

“Good friends that just don’t pack enough of their own clothes when they visit.”

Your voice was dismissive, enough to tell the reporter that you weren’t interested in broaching the topic any further if she wanted to continue to have a conversation with you.

“So, quite the comeback you’ve made in the past 48 months, double back surgery is certainly an impressive feat, how has it felt returning to the court this season and competing at the same level that you were before your injury, especially after how the injury resulted in you sitting out the bronze medal olympic match?”

You could feel the sweat across your body starting to go cold, a true sign that you’d been talking for far to long.

“I’m obviously feeling great, better than ever really. Sitting out at the Olympics was devastating, obviously but I promised that I’d be back and here I am, I’m still working on my recovery, but hopefully by the time the olympics roll around next year I’ll be back fully and bringing home some hardware.”

The reporter laughed heartily at your weak joke, an action that made you a little woozy.

“I’m sorry but that’s all the questions I’ll be answering, my coach is getting rather antsy on the sidelines and it would do me some good not to annoy her right now, so I’ll have to wish you all a goodbye, and see you later for the playoffs.”

You sent a kiss towards the camera before handing the microphone and headset back to the filming crew before following your coach over to the sideline and then into the tunnel towards your change rooms. Sandy patted you on the back as you made your way back to the rooms, just consciously quickening your steps a little bit so you could make the distance as quickly as possible.

You’d never liked limelight, or any of the media attention. You’d started out playing country basketball with your siblings, out on the court all throughout the middle of summer. Eventually, after joining a club and playing some juniors you got picked up by the Perth team and then had worked your way upwards, but never had you played for the attention or glory, growing up, womens basketball in Australia was severely underappreciated, so you’d never had to really face any media attention. But the WNBA was a whole different ballpark and you were still adjusting after 6 seasons to the amount of ways you were now exposed to the general public.

Your whole body relaxed when you spotted Alexia standing beside the locker room door, hand in her phone, flicking furiously through it. You ran directly towards her, almost bowling her over with your strong strides.

She wrapped her arms around you almost immediately, allowing your to bury your head in her neck as you breathed in the scent of her, and the scent of one of your spare jerseys sitting comfortable across her muscley arms and chest. It was a sight for sore eyes, one that you’d been waiting far to long to see.

“I fucking hate reporters.”

Alexia snorted at you, it wasn’t often that she got to see you after games, both of you having extremely busy schedules that hardly allowed for time to go and watch each other mess around with a ball on a pitch or court for an hour.

“I know bebita, but you did so well.”

She concluded her statement in the very best way possible, plastering a series of kisses all over your face that made you giddy on the inside and had you pushing her off of you. The tunnel was a fairly safe place from reporters, but you could never be too sure who was creeping around and a part of you didn’t need your relationship being revealed right at this moment.

Something about having your number across Alexia’s chest set a fire in your soul and you stepped back from her embrace to take it in, to take in the sight of her standing in front fo you, her perfect shoulders on show, sitting comfortable beside the jersey. A few of her back tattoos peaking out from her shoulders giving you a indescribable view of the ink. Her collection was constantly growing and you swore every time she returned to you there was a new one for her to show you and tell you the story of.

She had paired the jersey with a plain pair of white jeans and her washed out pink hair was sitting comfortably on her shoulders, the strands being pushed out of her face by the Prada sunglasses sitting comfortably on her head, sunglasses you were certain had absolutely zero purpose besides being an accessory. You did have to admit that the pink had been your favourite hair in a long while, in fact you’d been the one who Alexia had convinced to help with the dye when she had one of her midnight crisis’ that had you marching down to the chemist to buy neon pink hair dye to make your girlfriend happy.

“I like it when you’re the wag.”

Alexia rolled her eyes, spinning around to give you a look at your brandished last name, sitting perfectly between the valley of skin that travelled between her shoulder blades, everything about it was so perfect to you, warming your soul from the inside.

“I do have to admit, it was quite fun sitting in the crowd for once and pretending I knew what was happening.”

You chuckled, you’d been trying your very hardest to teach Alexia the rules of your sport from the start of your relationship, and to her credit she had a grasp on the more basic rules, but she was absolutely shocking at much more than that. She watched every single one of your games, and yet she had absolutely zero grasp on how the sport of basketball actually worked.

“Look at that, La Reina admitting that she enjoyed being a wag.”

Alexia rolled her eyes at you, her hand coming to rest on your sweaty arm, providing some pressure to your forearm.

“Don’t you even think about telling any of the Barca girls, I’ll never hear the end of it.”

You smiled down at Alexia’s hand, loving the way that her body slotted in so perfectly with you, she knew your body like the back of her own hand and knew exactly what parts of you she should touch in different situations.

“Don’t you worry your little head, this will be our little secret, at least until the girls find my post game interview.”

Alexia nodded concedingly, it was inevitable that your relationship was eventually going to come out to the public, neither of you were particularly stressed about it, it would happen when it happened. You’d gone three years without anybody catching on, only now heading into the fourth year were people really starting to recognise the relationship.

“Go shower, you stink.”

You let Alexia push you towards the locker room door, her face nose scrunching up in faux disgust at you.

“Yes ma’am, La Reina, ma’am.”

The older woman once again rolled her eyes at you, but couldn’t avoid your own hand reached out to hers, silently tugging her into the locker rooms with you. It wasn’t irregular for teammates partners to end up in the rooms after games, and you knew that Alexia would just end up waiting alone in the hallway for you whilst you went about your post game routine.

You lead her towards your cubby, seating her down on the bench before reaching down behind her and pulling out the few items of clothing and toiletries you needed for the shower. One quick look down at Ale revealed to you just how in awe she was of what was occurring around her. There was nothing special happening, most teammates doing similar things to you and beginning their post game rituals.

“Mi amor, I’m going to the shower now, just stay here, bien, and don’t hesitate to ask anybody for something if you need it, si?”

Alexia nodded at you aimlessly, her eyes darting around the room as she took in her surroundings, You took the opportunity to dip out of the room and into the showers, hastening your normal routine so you could return to her as quickly as possible.

You showered in record time, washing your hair and body so quickly you were certain you almost got whiplash from the jolting of your arms and muscles in every direction and you frantically moved around in the shower.

When you returned to Alexia she was in the same spot as you’d left her, her eyes still searching the room and taking in everything happened around her. It was cute to see her so out of place, it was something you’d never seen on her before and something about seeing her like a deer in the headlights made you fall so much further in love with her.

“Cãrino? Let’s go, yeah?”

Alexia’s eyes flashed up to meet your own, her lips falling to a genuine smile as she stood up from your cubby, and before you could pick up your bag she took the honours, collecting the things that you knew you’d need back at the apartment and piling them into your bag before sliding it over her shoulder and starting to walk out, her arm falling comfortably over you shoulder as the two of you met each others pace, walking out towards your car that Alexia had driven you to the game in.

She took care in placing your bag in the boot before sliding into the driver's seat, your keys clanking in the ignition as she started the car.

Almost as soon as she was pulling out of the stadium Alexia’s hand fell to your thigh, a comfortable reminder of the footballers presence.

“You played so well today bebita, I was so proud of you.”

You smiled waterily at Alexia, it was one thing for a reporter to tell you, but for the woman you loved most in the world to tell you that meant something else.

“Thank you, but don’t act like you knew what was going on.”

Alexia cocked her head to the side, frowning at you a little bit.

“Si, maybe, but you got the, what did they call it again? El triple doble, no? Marta said it’s kind of like a hat trick but in basketball lingo, you sunk muchos tres.”

You smiled at Alexia, nodding your head at the Spaniards lack of knowledge over the game you cared for so much, and her attempt at trying to talk basketball to you.

“Yes, I did score a few threes, all of them were for a special person who came out to watch me today.”

Alexia smiled at you, turning her head at the lights to look at you.

“Mm, who might that be?”

You bit your lip, breaking out in a big smile.

“She’s Spanish, and not very good at understanding basketball but she tries and that’s all that matters, she also looks really cute in teal.”

Alexia’s smile only grew at your admission.

“Oh, and she’s a pretty good wag if I do say so myself.”

Alexia silenced your words with a sweet kiss, pressing her lips to yours softly, the two of you having to break apart when the light turned green.

“I’d watch you any day.”

Alexia’s words were murmured quietly, an almost silent acknowledgment of her feelings that was meant just for you.

“I’d watch you any day as well mi amor.”

#woso #woso community #alexia putellas is mom #daddy alexia putellas #alexia putellas x reader #alexia putellas imagine #alexia putellas

[skyrim-forever]

hello everyone, just a little pre-molag monday :P update, a lot has been going on in my life:

first, im finishing my thesis (hopefully submitting by May 15th) so that's been taking a lot out of me

second, ive got to move, first out of my apartment and in its a friend until I defend and then I'm moving thousands of kms away to move back in with my partner, exciting but moving stresses me out so much

and finally I'm a bit ill, due to new medication and the stress of my thesis I can't really eat anymore? I've had to buy meal replacement shakes and im basically nauseous for a bit each day

so all this to say this blog might be a bit dry until mid-June, at least in terms of original content as my life is in a huge transition phase rn but I'm hoping to get back into memes, art and maybe even writing again (if I ever recover from grad school)

just wanted to let you all know as I really appreciate you all here, having this little corner of the internet has really helped me, especially since I've been living alone away from my friends <3

So thank you all, I'll try to post when I can (still tag me in WIP Wednesday posts as I love seeing everything!) and thank you for being lovely <3

#tesblr #eve rambles #eve updates

[kafus]

random infodump about the various pokemon related shit i do online and beyond (this is about fandom/community stuff and not my actual in-game accomplishments):

i'm a moderator for the ribbon master discord, which is a community dedicated to getting as many ribbons as possible on individual pokemon (i have many ribbon masters myself!) technically i'm also a mod on the community reddit but uh i just let the other mods handle the reddit lol. i've been in the rm community for 4 years now

not me specifically but ayano who i share a brain with runs the pokemon fansite blue moon falls which has a lot of comprehensive articles and custom coded tools pertaining to RBY/GSC and the rest of gens 1 and 2 (she's the reason that the internet has all those nice gifs of stadium 2's idle animations now btw)

in speaking of ayano, she's also a full odds shiny hunter and is a decently well known name in that community due to her resources and general friendliness lmao

i'm not as active /w it atm because my art focus has been more on human characters but for the majority of my life i was what people would call a "pokefurry" and i have a metric fuckton of pokemon artwork under my belt

on that note i've written pokemon fanfiction on occasion too though nothing major

i'm a casual VGC competitor - i ladder in-game relatively often, keep up to date with the meta, and i attended my first regionals this year and met up with a lot of pokemon folk in the process! i hope to attend more events in the future

i'm planning on getting involved with a local pokemon convention near me to distribute mystery gifts for old pokemon games the same way a toys r us would in the early-mid 2000s

i have been a part of and donated money to a few indie pokemon sites and projects, including pokemmo, gpx plus, and pokemon eclipse (previously known as pokemon the moon rpg when i was a kid and played it for the first time!). in speaking of eclipse even though i don't play it anymore i'm the reason that a 3d model for shadowobliveon exists lol

i know a tiny bit about romhacking and made a romhack of firered that lets me play the entire game as kafu once, with kaf as my rival. i also have a bunch of personal lost media of "story" videos i made as a young child by stitching together recordings of fake cutscenes i romhacked into pokemon ruby

i made all these really shitty pokemon fangames when i was around 10 years old and i'm kind of obsessed with them

apparently i'm a pokemon horizons fan now and people keep acting like im the second coming of christ in terms of likodot on twitter so maybe that means something (LIGHTHEARTED I AM JUST SHOCKED BY THE POSITIVE ATTENTION)

i own more pokemon plushies than what's healthy and i wish i could show them here but a lot of them are in a storage bag rn

my pokemon game collection is also fucking ridiculous but i'm too lazy to put all that together for a photo. for what it's worth i own at least one copy of every single mainline pokemon game before the 3ds era including all alternate versions (diamond pearl AND platinum instead of just one for example) and almost all spinoffs aside from like, 3 of them

i'm probably forgetting shit tbh the 2010s are like a blackout void to me sorry

i've been a pokemon fan since 2004 though when i was 4 years old i am in hell

#kiki was here #kiki.txt

[sapphicdib]

Excuse me?? Go on?? I wanna know about those headcanons

Also i appreciate bringing my by now old art back to light ^^

OHHH U WANT HEADCANONS?? [cracks knuckles]

(also ofc dude! u shld thank @/creaturevoiddweller for putting it on my dash tho hehe)

ANYWAYS THE HCS UR DRAWING SPECIFICALLY LINED UP WITH ARE:

Moon being taller/generally bigger than Sig…normally i’m not feral over height differences but god theirs drives me insane

Moon loving the stars. I feel like after her collapse, they were one of the few things that brought her comfort. Within canon I’m pretty sure you can see the stars even during the day (they’re green too!! super cool) so she loves to study them and their movements. The rare occasions when the rain comes after night falls are her favorites, being able to see them more clearly in the dark always excites her. Going on a lil stargazing date would probably melt her heart !!

Sig being fucking whipped for Moon 😭 this is a fucking given but him being distracted and at Moon instead of the sky because she considers her prettier than even the starts makes me. AUGH.

(More general hcs below the cut so this post doesn’t become a million miles long)

Sig learns to knit and makes Moon a scarf and a couple cloaks after her collapse. He actually has a lot of hobbies because he doesn’t think the great problem is solvable, nor does he really care to solve it anyways. He even says he’s got “nothing better to do with my time” when Suns asks him if he’s going to purpose another messenger. Meanwhile Suns says “you have two options, do nothing or work like you’re supposed to” in terms of what to do with your time.

Moon loves picking Sig up/holding her/generally grabbing her n throwing her around because she’s actually quite strong and Sig is smaller than her. Sig does not mind in the slightest.

They’re both interested in bioengineering. Sig more so, but Moon mentons Rivulet’s interesting adaptations and knows a lot about the flora and fauna of the world. I think they bonded over this quite a bit.

Speaking of, Sig was also a more medical-oriented facility. Pebbles mentions that he “was not a medical facility even when the equipment was functioning” to hunter, so the iterators may have had more specialized niches as the generations went on. Therefore, she becomes the sort of defacto “puppet-doctor” of the local group, helping to fix things like broken joints or umbilicals after the ancients disappear. Also just the slag reset keys in general. I have a drawing about this I’m finishing soon so watch out for that hehe

Moon’s kindness absolutely rubbed off on Sig. When he first got put online, she interacted with him a lot as his personality core was still developing, and he picked up on some of her traits. In terms of age I see their group as Moon and Suns (gen 1), Sig and Chasing Wind (mid gen) and Unparalleled Innocence and Pebbles (final gen).

SIG TEACHING MOON STUPID GAMER LINGO AND UWU SPEAK CAUSES A DISASTER IN THE LOCAL GROUP CHATS. The first time she says “poggers” sends everyone into an uproar and Sig gets multiple DMs being like “WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS.”. Sig thinks it’s the funniest shit in the world.

Moon is a lesbian, Sig is a bisexual gender-fluid disaster. I’m sure you can tell from my rambles I use he/she/they/it pronouns for her.

Moon’s nickname for Sig is “doll”. “Little thing” is also a common one, since Sig jokes that his gender is just “thingy”.

I can’t think of any more but thank you so much for the ask!! I love these two so fucking much and getting to ramble about them makes me so happy, especially because I’m absolutely suffering on my period rn and it distracted me from the pain. I love ur art sm!!!!

#rain world #rain world downpour #lilypad rw #nsh x lttm #looks to the moon #no significant harassment #headcanons #rw #letters #TY FOR THE ASK HEHE

[eclipse15]

TW: Programming, Abuse & RAMCOA talk (Nothing graphic or too descriptive), Intra-System Discord?

Hi. A question regarding suspected programming vs. conditioning. 

I’m in a bit of an interesting position regarding my/our RAMCOA experience in that we were already dissociative (Already DID, I’m pretty sure) before the RAMCOA started. I was wondering if programming could still occur in that circumstance, or if it's conditioning instead. 

I’ve never seen an experience exactly like ours in that we were already an “organic” system (not endogenic, to make it clear, just non-RAMCOA abuse) before the RAMCOA, and I was wondering if that meant we weren’t programmed b/c intentionally creating DID is kind of the whole purpose as far as I’m aware? Can programs be implemented in a system after its creation? If yes, is it only on parts created after and not already existing ones? 

I was wondering because I know there’s an age cap for DID development, as a child passes certain developmental stages once the personality integrates, and programming can’t occur past that age bc of no DID, but if someone already has DID beforehand would that still apply?  

I, personally, have terrible amnesia and even though I’m (currently and before the RAMCOA) “host,” I have several years unaccounted for and am only aware of the RAMCOA because I was told by a few other parts. One part, in particular, says there’s a whole programmed side-system shoved in a corner somewhere, but I don’t think we’ve experienced any programs running/activating/or whatever since I returned to my “post” as the most frequent fronter. The closest thing was two very bad instances of nausea, vertigo, and what I term “doom-vibes,” which culminated in me blacking out; First, when I tried getting anywhere near/interacting with the side-system, and later when I attempted to bring up this new development to my therapist. But that’s it, as far as I’m aware. They felt like a regular traumatic reaction (Maybe on the more extreme side, but that’s understandable) to the RAMCOA memories and not programming to me. Also, I'm writing about this right now, so...

That part says there’s a whole gamut of stuff in there; beta, omega, delta, etc… And I’m not saying they’re lying, but it feels odd to me for there to be programming within our system and it not come up at all. That part says it hasn’t come up because ever since we were “discarded” by the group, so to speak, the side system has been basically dormant, as many of their cues are very specific. That part states that when they were co-host, (Early-Mid Teenage years, Near the end of the RAMCOA) it was chaotic and programs were being triggered constantly. That was during the years when I was M.I.A, so I obviously can’t corroborate, but I think that part might be considering some severe conditioning to be programming instead. That part is arguing that I’m being affected by some sort of denial programming. I don’t think so, as I would assume there to be at least some feeling, sensation, or awareness accompanying that.

This is causing some major discord within our system, and that part is refusing to speak with me until I say I believe them. They're very dear to me and very important to our relatively stable functioning. If this keeps going on, I might just lie and say I believe them bc things will start falling apart. If I'm wrong and this kind of thing can occur, I'll obviously apologize, but we both feel a bit biased rn.

Thank you sm.

TW: ABUSE TALK

To answer your question in simplest terms it’s possible but usually doesn’t happen because of a few factors, and it can only happen if all of these factors are out of the way:

Programming is usually being built up before the age of the DID cut-off, so if one has DID before they could’ve still missed the programming cut-off age (this isn’t to say programming can’t continue past this age, but it can’t start and succeed)

If you don’t miss the cut-off, it’s uncommon that you already have established DID because of how extreme the trauma would have to be at such a young age-usually this trauma comes from programming

If those are out of the way than it is possible, but those are pretty big factors that usually cause people like you (if you have programming) to not be that well-known.

I’m not going to say that you have progs or no, but if you’re in the right headspace and have the resources for self-discovery I’d listen to those parts. Again, if. One of the points of programming is that the non-programmed parts don’t notice it.

Hope this helped

#did alter #did osdd #osddid #hc did #polyfragmented #polyfrag #polyfrag system #actually mentally ill #endos dni

[perotovar]

oh also, even if you never get around to writing the metal!pero fic, just know that you have nourished me greatly. 🙏😌🤤

omg that honestly makes me feel a little better about it lmao idk what it is about this particular fic that's so hard to write tbh

i fucking love the concept and the vibes and it's my man at the helm so like, all the pieces are in place?? then again i've been in a bit of a weird spot since midterms so i can't write all that much rn anyway

so i'm gonna shoot for mid march because this term will be done and i'll be on break for like 2 weeks so

fingers crossed!

#i appreciate you and love you so much you have no idea #your enthusiasm makes me wanna write it so bad #and then my brain is like #slamming my head into a wall #ghoulettesinspace #bonezone44 #asks

[bluebird990]

Hot question: in an alternate universe could donald and gray be friends?

Omg I got an ask i got an ask!!! Ahem-

I mean thank you so much for considering me worthy enough to answer your question anon!!! (I definitely was not squealing in a corner after seeing this..)

Anyway I tried my best to provide a satisfactory answer. I hope you like it :D

This got way longer than I was expecting so oops..

So there's two different universes that I can think of rn

CASE 1-

A universe where Donald had good parents and Gray hasn't met Stephan yet.

If Donald had had a normal childhood then I'd like to assume that he'd be the kind of typical prince charming character, you know. Good looking, smart, athletic and polite. Tho he doesn't show it, he has a superiority complex and thinks that all the people around him are so not worth his time. They're all just so dumb and ambitionless, it pisses him off.

Then comes the new transfer student. A very pretty boy with an emotionless face. At first, Donald doesn't really care about his existence and continues on with his life. Until the mid term results come out and for the first time in his life, Donald had placed 2nd in an exam. He was so shocked and pissed that his scholarship had been snatched away by some puny little punk.

That was when the war had started. Or rather a one sided rivalry.

I can imagine Donald being extremely frustrated for being beaten every single time. It didn't help that Gray wasn't even trying to beat him. He just studied because he "had nothing better to do" apparently. Gray's lack of a goal and ambition had left Donald dumbstruck. He didn't know what to be more pissed about; the fact that there was someone smarter than him or the fact that this Mr Smartass was gonna waste his potential away without a concrete goal.

Donald had then declared them to be rivals (without asking for Gray's opinion) in hopes of seeing Gray lose his composure because that seemed like a challenge and he would never back out of one.

They were both pretty evenly matched in the department of looks. Gray had only been there for a few months yet he already had a fan club.

Donald had been so giddy and smug to see Gray's awful physical capabilities. He had made sure to subtly stand out a bit more than usual during PE to show off how much better he was but the lack of reaction from Gray had pissed him off immensely.

And to top it off, he still can't seem to beat him in academics. Not a single time. It was either a draw or Gray beating him by a hair.

Overtime, Gray would begrudgingly start acknowledging Donald and going along with his little challenges. After a while Gray starts to enjoy their silly challenges.

He would be receiving physical training from Donald because "omg you are so f**king weak I could easily snap you like the stick you are".

All in all Donald without past trauma would be...very different I guess. It's so difficult to imagine what he'd be like. Less psychotic and more chill I guess??

CASE 2-

On a more serious note, what if Gray had met Donald before he started corrupting.

I think that if these two had met earlier in life then they could've definitely been friends.

Pre-stephan Gray had a hard time making friends or feeling any kind of emotions, but I don't think he was heartless. He was just very dissociated with the world and his emotions.

He was from a pretty well off family so all the students kind of respected him for his intelligence and on the other hand, bullied Donald for his because that's just how this world is...

I don't think that Gray would just sit quietly after witnessing the extreme bullying that Donald went through. He wasn't angry per se. He just couldn't understand the irrational behavior of his classmates. Him and Donald were pretty much the same, the only difference being their parents' financial standings.

Now we don't know how Gray's moral compass used to be as a kid. I think that he has such high morals only because he met Stephan. If he hadn't , then I don't really know what choices he'd make.

After seeing Donald get bullied, Gray would either maybe help to lead Donald down a better path than he chose in canon or idk maybe he'd just go along with him and they'd become mafia bosses together or smth XD

Whichever the case, their relationship would be based on the mutual respect they have for each other's intelligence and the subtle rivalry which would help them push each other to much higher grounds.

And that's about it. I hope you like it.

Lmk if you wanna add something more to these or if you disagree with something here!!! Always happy to have a discussion!!

#i had a really fun time writing this #feel free to ask about anything weak hero anime or manhwa related #donald na #gray yeon #weak hero #weak hero webtoon

[aroaceconfessions]

Ah well, this might be a bit nonsensical but kindly bear with me.

Coming to terms with being aroace has been tough. Mostly because I had been in denial most of my life and even now I have moments where I really doubt myself.

At the end of the day we all are different people with unique shit we have to deal with. Yet I can tell from what I have seen, is that we all are a tad bit confused, one way or the other.

And if the person reading this is one of the confused souls. Don't worry, you are not alone. We all get confused, what matters is that we keep our head up.

Growing up and reaching my mid twenties I always felt something was wrong with me at a fundamental level.

"Why am I not like them?"

"why am I not 'normal'?"

There were even days when this got so bad I started to have really bad thoughts.

What I am trying to say is- well, we can't change what people think most of the time. They will say stuff that sometimes hurts, intentionally or unintentionally. But when you start punching yourself down, that does more damage than you realise.

I am saying this because a younger me would like to hear it.

You aren't broken. You aren't sick. You aren't pretending.

You are you and you come with some quirks yes but that's what makes you, you. Keep your head up champ. You have nothing to be ashamed of.

(There might be some mistakes. English isn't my first language and it's like 2 in the morning rn and I haven't slept once in the last 24 hrs. So sorry if there are mess ups)

#aromantic #asexual #aroace #arospec #acespec #aspec #aroacespec #arose #internalized aphobia #validation

[elenyafinwe]

UTS updates further postponed

I’m sorry to inform you that I have to pause Underneath The Silence for a little longer. I just don’t have the energy for it rn. I’m facing transmisia in every way possible rn in my life while fighting for my right to be me and it’s draining all my engery. All the same while I just try to finish my Master and manage day to day uni life 😩 I need to focus on that. And on top there’s still the option that the whole matter is going to court, if the officials continue to deny my request of a simple name change.

If you want to help me, I have a ko-fi where you can throw money at me. I also have a little shop up with some handcrafted stuff (can’t do legal stuff all day after all) and my commissions are still open. Due to the whole name stuff, I’m unemployed, because it’s outing me on every job application, so a bit of money would be nice. So, if you want a story written by me just they way you want it, this may be something for you

https://ko-fi.com/elenyafinwe

I don’t know how long I will postpone uts further, but probably at least until the end of the term mid July.

Bonus transmisia under the cut

I'm just gonna ignore the 'trans kashi' and pretend that never happened in such a good story.

This bullshit is also def NOT helping me to motivate me to work on my text. I woke up to this bullshit in my comments on uts this morning. Everyone go block user Nobody666999 on ao3, this one is a disgusting transmisic asshole.

Kakashi is trans, pass it on 💪⚧🏳️

#underneath the silence #kofi #kofi commission #commissions #commissions open #transmisia #german bureaucracy is my endbos i swear #it's a nightmare #transandrophobia #trans kakashi

[toothfa-1-ry]

I'm working on part 2 for the "go and get a life" Bang Chan fic since it was requested alot.

However it might take some time for me to publish it because I'm having my mid term examinations rn and also because I have 8 in complete drafts... :(

Also because I wrote "go and get a life" without much thought and mainly because I was bored. I never expected that you guys would like it so much. Thank you for all the support ♡(> ਊ <)♡

But I'll try to publish it as soon as possible. I hope you guys are alright with waiting for a little bit longer ♡

I hope all of you have a nice day! Don't forget to eat and drink water (ᵔᴥᵔ)

[paradoxesofgalaxies]

Therapy went well!! More below the cut

The lead up to therapy was super stressful. J went to take a shower at 11:30 and my appointment was at 12 and I hadn't put in my contacts or anything. They finished up at 11:56 and I had to rush to get contacts in and such and log in but I made it (I'm way more dissociated when wearing my glasses so it was really important I get my contacts in).

But the appointment itself was really good! After dealing with some administrative stuff (we finally got our FSA card so we needed to get payment swapped over), we talked a bit about how the move went (stressful) and the body memories we've been dealing with. Then we went over my goals for therapy and discussed the treatment plan (working on communication and system mapping before moving on to EMDR). He asked about my long term goals regarding functional multiplicity vs fusion and I said that it's not something I'm focused on right now and I'm open to wherever healing leads us (and he really liked my answer which made me feel like I was getting a good grade in therapy lol).

I just really like his approach. He clearly has a good deal of experience treating DID and the way he talks about it really resonates with me. Like we talked about the need for co-consciousness when starting EMDR but he's also mentioned that other parts will likely be triggered out as we talk about things and that's ok.

I feel like I have more to say but my thoughts are too jumbled rn so I'll probably write more later

Oh! Towards the end of session we talked about the MID. Apparently when I sent him the file I didn't share access so we took care of that and he tried to quickly plug in the numbers to the scoring program but I had put an asterisk next to one of the answers I was unsure of which messed up how the numbers pasted in so he's going to do that before our next session and we'll discuss it more than. But he said that the preliminary info showed I scored high for PTSD with dissociation and DID.

So yeah. My next appointment is on Monday

#galactic gab #therapy logs

[smores100]

a rare personal post, feel free to skip.

so in case anyone noticed and was wondering where i’d disappeared off to, i was hospitalized for almost 2 weeks. turns out the weird sickness i had for like 3 weeks mid december-early january that had me confused wtf it was, was actually related to the long term liver disease i’ve had for several years. turning completely yellow, skin and eyes, and looking like the love child of a banana and a minion was the biggest clue. so. yeah. hospital, tests, a ‘procedure’ done, another one planned in a couple of weeks, plenty of nightmarish stories to share. major fun. can’t even eat my feelings properly bc i’m on a super low fat diet and there’s more NOs than YESs. but at least they caught it in time bc my stats were the worst x 1000 and a bit longer and things could’ve become a whole lot worse.

and now my mom is hospitalized with serious heart problems and it’s all very scary and everything sucks rn. it’s just me sis and mom and has been that way since my dad passed away and everything’s falling onto sis’s shoulders who has a ton of serious health baggage herself and *sigh* 2023 has only just started and i’m already so very tired.

anyway. got three weeks worth of content in my queue, should last for a while. gonna go do what i do best which is drink 2.5 liters of water to get this garbage out of me so i can get better and stop being yellow, and curl up in a ball and cry. pls send good vibes our way if you can? thanks. 🌻

#life's a bitch until you die #personal

[cassthecringe]

"I believe we did."

"you dont get to commit the sin and then ask us all to feel sorry for you when there are consequences"

uh okay minor oppenheimer thought dump. it's not gonna be super long cause im still musing i think

in terms of what it is, well made film. the script had really powerful lines and they were delivered very well by really good actors. and the score...jesus fuck. i think it might jsut be me hearing things but the film ending with the final note of a song that sounds like an air raid siren oughhg

there's definitely room for criticism (both historical--accuracy-wise and film-making wise) but i do like the movie for what it is. i didnt find it enlightening per se cause i already knew a lot of the basic facts going in (or at least, the facts presented in this movie), but the presentation of it was so harrowing it's hard not to be affected. and that being said, i do think the film does a good job of presenting the impact of the atomic bomb in a way (ie, a (white) americentric way) so that certain groups of americans can finally understand why dropping the bomb was a bad fucking idea but only time will tell if that was successful. it'd be nice if i could stop seeing people say "well we had to" as if it was fucking america's hands tied behind its back. anyway

one thing i want to say but unfortunately i'm still not quite sure how to phrase is how i feel/what i got out of this movie as a white american soon-to-be-scientist. like, some details really gathered my attention, particularly about compartmentalism (an idea very anti-modern science...hiding your work like that from your countryman colleagues/the entire world of science at large would not fly today. clarity is very important. and especially in america, the events of the mid 20th century are really why it became proper etiquette to be absolutely transparent and i just think this film did a good job of explaining that even if unintentionally), how science and politics and ethics go hand in hand despite many white american scientists pretending so so hard otherwise for so long, and how oppenheimer was perfectly fine stealing native people's burial grounds from them to gain his own glory, but only grew a conscience about it later when it was clear the government would not give the land back and would build an h bomb with or without his assistance (so no glory for him there) and how that's reflective of well...modern colonialism honestly. it's a very "it's not about control it's about science!" excuse right now (see the mauna kea incident for example). speaking of, i really like the breakdown of the like mythical figure of oppenheimer. he is presented as the coward he 100 percent was in this film and you're not supposed to feel bad for him really -- maybe just kinda somber because of the greater whole (that being said i do wish they cemented this a bit more...)

it's definitely tonally a horror movie to be quite frank. which i think is only appropriate considering its subject matter

hm. yeah that's all i can say rn. it's late and i'm tired so im sorry if some of this is worded weird, i def have some runon sentences. i hope my points are apparent nonetheless

#cass cries

[the-eldritch-it-gay]

gooooood did not realize the DID tiktok mess was bigger than it seems. honestly kinda hate that though, as a system. i've had a lot of friends who i Thought at one point were good to me find out i have DID and then treat me like i was psycho & 100% their intel is based on stuff they find on the internet, like they think it's true and i ... would kill for that reason <3 i hate it so much. sorry, i'm just rambling, but genuinely i want to know your opinion on this kind of stuff bc--doesn't it freak you out too???

Yeah I feel you 100%. (sorry if this is a lil disorganized it's been a switchy kinda day, Stone & Void have been out most of the time and we're pretty blurry rn).

TikTok really is a hell hole when it comes to DID, because while we've met some great systems we've befriended, it's also just full of rampant ableism and misinformation. Every so often some account gets called out for faking having DID, and all that does though is invite singlets to make fun of DID and be ableist or serve as fuel for the people who believe DID isn't real or w/e. People (singlets) with no degrees or experience will come out with information like "Actually, the term system is made up and no professional uses or knows about that its some fake term made up by internet trolls" (wrong). "Alters can't communicate with each other and if someone says they can that means they're faking" (also wrong). "Systems can only have x amount of alters" (wrong). "Alters can't be fictional characters or animals" (wrong). "Only white people have DID" (wrong). And people will just take those statements as gospel and then go on and echo that information to other people.

So much stuff on the internet and in the media about DID is just awful shit that just is wrong. And so like you said, there's lots of time where I just mention DID or dissociative disorders and suddenly everyone's vibe changes. A little bit ago we were talking to a cousin at some family gathering, and our cousin has lots of mental issues too and you know has dealt with psych wards and medication and shit and we were just vibing comparing experiences with things and then like. I offhandedly mentioned dissociation and the vibe immediately shifted from something casual to smth where she was Concerned and Gentle and treating me like I was a child or completely psycho. Her reaction was like if we casually said like "yeah and I love thinking about murdering people violently and I might murder someone later 🥰"

it just sucks yknow? like, not just how people think that someone having DID means they're some crazy psycho violent murderer or smth, but like also that ppl are out there constantly like, spreading misinformation and using DID as a stand in for "crazy person". like hell like the name of the disorder changed from MPD to DID in like the mid 90s or smth but ppl still 100% call it MPD. people just refuse to learn and like just regurgitating harmful misinformation that just hurts systems, and half the time if you try to point out how harmful it is ppl just dont care bcuz yknow they write off folks with DID as just dehumanized psychos who dont deserve respect.

honestly sometimes we wish ppl went back to not knowing anything about DID, cuz like that'd b way better than people only knowing about it via completely wrong and ableist social media. id rather like, it b that if i say i have DID ppl dont know what that means, rather than them suddenly think im violent or psycho or incapable of judgement yk?

#Eldritch IT Speaks #Eldritch IT Answers #blurry.txt #the primordial system