#Nah but like this game makes me really wanna stick it to Gabriel so this is pretty good ngl | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

magicrowiswritingstuff · 3 years

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Part 3: “Dead Trickster” – Gabriel x female!reader

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 (you’re here!) | ...

Summary: This is the third part of “Dead Trickster”! So it ties into its story line which now takes place roughly during Season 2/3. The Reader is sure that the trickster couldn’t have been defeated so easily. Even though nobody believes you, you decide to keep an eye out just in case. It seems for a good reason when strange occurrences start to happen around you. The strangest thing? You start to have normal conversations with him.

Warning: swear words (if any), slight suggestive themes

Category: general rating and FLUFF (it’s happening guys, it gets more fluffy)

Words: about 5.000

Note: The third part is finally finished! I don’t know when the next one will be up because I’ve fallen for yet another ficional character and I now feel the need to write for them. But stay tuned! And I hope you enjoy it.

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Part 3 “Dead Trickster” – Gabriel x fem!reader

You didn’t see any traces of the trickster for about two weeks after that. And you were slowly wondering if you had just blacked out during the last hunt and imagined the trickster helping you. Surely, he couldn’t have done that, right? After all you and the Winchesters had tried to kill him. What was his plan? What was this game all about? Why did he safe you and then just disappeared for two weeks? No words whispered in your ear, no ghost touches on your shoulder, no random sightings of him anywhere. You didn’t understand the game rules anymore.

You, Sam and Dean were currently staying in a city whose name you forgot. There was no hunt, you three were just staying there until you knew where to go from there, killing time with research. Though you weren’t necessarily researching another hunt, you were looking up any sort of information you could find about tricksters and their powers too. However, looking for a hunt was exactly what you were doing right now while sitting in a diner and eating. You snatched a fried potato or two whenever Dean wasn’t looking, reading another boring death article in the meantime. Monsters were laying low at the moment it seemed. “Found anything, (Y/N)?” Dean asked after finishing his burger. You shook your head and put the newspaper down on the table. “No, nothing.” Leaning forward you snatched another couple fries directly in front of Dean’s wide eyes. “Hey!” You only chuckled before shoving them down before the older Winchester could get them back. “What about you, Sam?” you questioned, directing your gaze to the younger brother who was sitting beside Dean but he also shook his head. With a sigh your leaned back in your seat and crossed your arms before your chest. “So, what is the plan then? Should we stay here or just drive off somewhere?”

The two brothers began to discuss but you didn’t really listen. They would tell you when they had decided something. Instead you let your head fall on your shoulder and looked out of the window you were sitting next to. It was a warm fall day, the leaves of the trees planted along the street were already turning red and orange and small clouds raced above the roof tops. You let your eyes wander down and just observed the people walking by for a bit. That was until your gaze met the characteristic golden one of the trickster. You felt your body freeze and stiffen up as you returned his stare. After two weeks he just showed up again like nothing happened? You untwisted your arms and moved closer to the window with a puzzled expression.

“Is everything alright, (Y/N)?” Dean’s voice shook you away from the window. Looking at him you only briefly nodded before returning to the street view but the trickster had already disappeared in the crowd. You jumped up immediately. You wouldn’t let him get away this time. You had too many questions that needed to be answered. “Where are you going?” Sam yelled after you but you had already left the dinner and were now standing on the street. Frantically you looked around until you spotted the chestnut-colored hair of the trickster disappearing behind an alley corner. You ran, dodging other pedestrians and avoiding the cars when you sprinted across the street. When you reached the alley way it was empty. Holding yourself upright on the wall you hastily breathed out. After two weeks he showed up again only to disappear once more? You wondered why you felt disappointed by that. With a sigh you detached from the wall and were about to turn around to walk back to the diner when you heard it.

“Hey there, sugar.”

You spun around to meet the trickster’s gaze just when he grabbed you by the shoulders and pushed you further into the alley, away from anyone passing by, and up against a wall so you would be out of sight. You were too shocked to react. Your heart beat a million miles per hour as one thought crossed your mind. Maybe he helped you two weeks prior so he could be the one to kill you. Your eyes widen and your mouth suddenly felt very dry. What a stupid idea to run after a very powerful supernatural being on your own. You would have cursed yourself if your mind had been able to function properly. So, instead you just stared up at the trickster with shock written all over your face. The man pinning you against the wall chuckled. “Startled you?” You only nodded almost mechanically. No use in lying now. He just grinned down at you for a few moments more before letting go of you and taking a step back. You were too confused by that to take your legs in hand and run like how you were supposed to act. You just stayed there, with your back against the wall and waited. “You don’t wanna move?” You slowly shook your head. “Can’t.” If you didn’t know it any better you would have thought that you were having a heart attack but you knew you were just frozen in place by the shock. How pathetic to call yourself a hunter when you were so startled by some man pressing you against a wall. Only that it wasn’t just some man. “Give me a second” you said breathlessly and bend over, stemming your arms against your legs while trying to get your breathing under control again. You heard the trickster laugh out loud and the only thing you could do was to join in as you let yourself slide down the wall as the strength to hold you upright left your body. You just decided to sit on the pavement instead. Leaning your head against the rough surface of the wall you let out one deep, shaky breath before locking eyes with the trickster again. “So why am I not dead yet?” you asked.

“Hm?” The trickster tilted his head to one side. “Why didn’t you kill me just now?” you clarified, still a little breathless but again able to form coherent thoughts. The brown-haired man let out another laugh before sticking out his hand for you to reach and pull yourself up. You eyed it suspiciously and stayed put. “Why should I want to kill you?” “Because I tried to kill you in that school back then?” you suggested. The trickster shook his head. “I don’t hold that against ya, sugar.” Now you were even more confused. “So, you don’t … want to kill me in this back alley?” The trickster shook his head once again, another laugh left his lips as he stretched his hand even further towards you. Still a little unsure if you should trust this situation you decided to grab it. He pulled you up on your feet and waited for you to stabilize yourself before letting go. “Nah, I don’t have any hard feelings against you, sugar.”

For a few moments you just stared into each other’s eyes before you uncomfortable shifted a few steps back. This was strange. Stranger than anything you had thought would ever happen when you would see him again.

“Why did you run after me, hm? Did I catch your eye?” the trickster asked with a mischievous sparkle in his eyes. Was he trying to relax the situation? You snorted, turning your head to one side and crossed your arms before your chest. “To be honest, I don’t know why I ran after you.” All previous questions you wanted to ask had disappeared in the void. You turned to face him again only to notice that he had took one step towards you. “I’m surprised you are even here.” “What do you mean by that?” the golden-eyed man asked. “Well, when you don’t want to kill me … what do you want from me?” The only immediate responds you got was him wiggling his eyebrows at you. You bit your tongue and forced yourself to stay put, you wouldn’t back down now. This was the first time you were able to talk to him so you wanted to use that chance. You wouldn’t let him make you unsure and rattled now, or at least more than you already were. “I like you” the trickster said after a few seconds of heavy silence. “I just want to get to know you.”

You raised one eyebrow at him and laughed. “There are better ways to do that than by annoying me for weeks.” “Oh, so I have a chance?” You felt your cheeks getting hot as you took one step back. “I never said that!” Were you really just flirting with a trickster in an empty alley? “Come on, sugar. No one can resist my charm for long” he grinned and stepped towards you. You shook your head more because of your own confusion than anything else and laughed out of reflex.

“You know, if you promise to never scare me to death again when you want to talk, I can give you my number? You wanted it right?” Why were you saying this? Why were you even considering this? What was wrong with you? You just wanted some questions answered right? So, it would be easier to stay in contact that way. Yeah. “Sweet of you” the trickster said and took another step towards you. He was now directly standing before you and twirled one strand of your hair between his fingers. Your body stiffened as you looked up at him, unable to move as your heart sped up once again. He leaned down to your ear, still smirking. “But I already have it.” Your eyes widen and when you jumped back to get some distance between you and him, he had already vanished, leaving you alone in the alley way.

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“Where were you?” Sam asked when you stepped into the motel room of the two brothers. “You just ran out of the dinner and vanished for an hour.” Had it really been an hour? After your meeting with the trickster, you had just wandered aimlessly around the city for a bit. You had just needed some time to clear your head, you didn’t even notice that a whole hour had passed by. “I just..” Shit, you had to come up with something. How the hell were you supposed to explain to them what had happened?! “I just needed some air?” You didn’t want it to sound like a question but you couldn’t think of anything else so quickly. “Right” Dean said and dragged the word, throwing Sam a side glance. “Look, if you don’t want to tell us that’s fine but don’t try to lie” the older brother continued. You threw them a wavering, thankful smile and were about to leave again to barricade yourself into your motel room when Dean spoke up again once more. “Because you are an awful liar.” You only laughed out a half offended “Hey!” before you sat down on the couch next to Dean and snatched the soda bottle he had just opened for himself. He looked at you with a scowl but he couldn’t hold it longer than for a few seconds before he too broke into laughter. You were grateful for the brothers to drop the topic. You really wouldn’t have had any idea what to do otherwise.

You spend the rest of the evening with them just chatting and laughing. It was great to just spend time with them again without looking for a hunt or stressing to finish one. The cheerful chatter carried on till well after midnight. Only then when you had to yawn after every other word you said, you decided it was time to go to bed.

“I think I’ll go to bed now” you said while yawning once more and stood up from the small motel sofa. “Good night, boys.” “Don’t let the bedbugs bite you” Dean hummed and threw himself on his own bed. You only chuckled. “Good night, (Y/N)” Sam said with a small smile before walking over to his bed. You closed the door to their room slowly so it wouldn’t make a sound and turned around to look at the dark night sky. For a few moments you just stared thoughtlessly at the stars, letting the days occurrences wash over you once more. Then the phone in your pocket vibrated once. You fished it out with a sigh and tried to decipher the words through tired eyes. The message was from a number you hadn’t added to your contacts or recognized.

???: “Dream of me, sugar.”

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You hadn’t seen the trickster for a good week or so after your confrontation in the alley way but he wouldn’t let one day go by without texting you. Often they were completely random so you wouldn’t react, on more serious occasions he would ask questions or just start a normal conversations. Sometimes you would answer those texts but you always wondered why exactly you did that. It didn’t annoy you that much, except when he wouldn’t stop messaging you when you were with Sam and Dean. You were in the middle of research when your phone rang once again, signaling that you had gotten the seventh message in less than five minutes. “Someone is popular today” Dean stated but glanced rather confused at you. You ducked your head and shrank back into the cushions of the motel sofa, groaning when another message reached your phone. “Who is it?” Sam asked and looked up from his laptop. “No one important.” Your phone rang again right after you had said that. Reluctantly you fished it out of your pocket to read the messages. Unsurprisingly every single one of them were from the trickster.

Tricky Trixie: “The first two dates were fun, wanna have a third?” “You ignoring me?” “Come on, I’m more fun” “Than those two losers” “Research is boring” “I can tell you what you are currently hunting.” “I can get rid of it too when you go out with me afterwards.” “Oh, very popular.” “I’m not important?!”

“Not now!” you typed back and then muted your phone, so you could concentrate. But when you looked up you found the two brothers staring at you intensely. “What?” you asked and put your phone back into your pocket, grabbing the newspapers you had been reading before instead. “Something is up with you. What are you hiding?” Dean questioned, tilting his head while inspecting your reactions. “Nothing” you tried to sound relaxed. “Then who is texting you all the time?” You bit your tongue. Think of something. Quick! “Just an old friend” you lied. The two brothers glanced at each other before shifting their attention back to you. Oh no, they were definitely onto you. You opened your mouth to explain your lie further but paused. Why were you even covering him? You could prove to them that he was still alive now so why weren’t you doing just that? You had no answer. But luckily the two brothers didn’t broach the subject again.

Later that day, the three of you finally found out what has been haunting the town you were in at the moment: another vengeful spirit. You and the brothers had dealt with it shortly after. “Finally, an easy hunt for once” Dean said and leaned back in his seat. You were celebrating the successful hunt in one of the bars in the town to your dismay. After all the running and reading you just wanted to go to bed right about now. Still, you agreed with a small smile and raised your glass for the others to meet you in a toast. That was the moment when your phone decided to come alive again. You were about to grab it when you froze. Hadn’t you muted it hours ago? A cold shiver ran down your spin before your cheeks heated up in confused anger. You could only guess who was responsible for that.

Tricky Trixie: “Uh, not now but later?” (sent a few hours ago) “I’m gonna pick you up.” (sent just now)

Your eyes widen as you panicked. He was going to do what now? What was his deal? How were you supposed to get away from Sam and Dean without revealing why? What was your deal?! Why was that you first thought and not that a supernatural being -the trickster!- wanted to ‘pick you up’? You should think about how to get rid of him or how to escape the oncoming situation.

(Y/N): “Definitely NOT! Don’t you dare!”

Tricky Trixie: “Too late.”

You leaned back in your seat and muttered an annoyed “Great” under your breath, not bothering to reply. What the hell were you getting yourself into? Why had you been so cocky to call him out back then? You could be living a peaceful … well a more peaceful life right now. You had enough to do, enough to hunt and fight you didn’t have to hide that you were in contact with the trickster from Sam and Dean now too. You shook your head. All of this felt surreal. You felt like a teenager who was hiding from their parents that they were in a relationship with the boy they hated. This couldn’t really be your life now, could it? “What’s the matter, (Y/N)?” Sam asked worried by your sudden change of attitude. “Not in a party mood anymore?” Dean questioned too. You huffed before your eyes widen in realization. That was your escape possibility! You sheepishly rubbed the back of your neck. “Yeah. You don’t mind if I go back to the motel and get some rest, right?” The two brothers shook their heads. “No, go and take a break” Sam said. You stood up with a small smile and grabbed your jacket. “Thanks. Good night.” “Night” Dean and Sam said at the same time. You fled the scene without looking back at them. Why did you feel so bad?

You stopped in front of the bar and slipped your jacket on, wondering what you were supposed to do now. Wondering what you were doing right now. Had you sunk so low? Lying to Sam and Dean who were practically family at that point in your life? For a trickster? Well it was that or trying to explain why the trickster was contacting you. And since you still didn’t really believe it yourself and weren’t quite sure what his true intensions were you felt like that wasn’t a good idea either. He said he didn’t want to kill you, that he didn’t have any hard feelings. Against you. He hadn’t said anything about Sam and Dean. “I’m protecting them.” Or at least that was what you tried convince yourself of.

“I hope I didn’t keep you waiting.”

You spun around to face the grinning trickster, leaning against the wall of the bar behind you. You rose one eyebrow at him and said: “You think I’m here for you?” Maybe it wasn’t your brightest idea to get confrontational with a being far more powerful than you. But at the same time, you didn’t really care right now. “Someone wants to play hard to get” he smirked, raising his chin as he looked at you. Clenching your fists, you bit back another defiant remark because he seemed to like them. “What do you want?” you asked instead, though you were sure that he could hear the irritation in your voice. “I told you, you just have to listen.” The trickster grabbed your hand before you could open your mouth again. Blinking a few times, you looked around and realized that you no longer were in that small town at night but a pedestrian zone at day. Disorientated you looked around. People all around you but no one had seen you two just appear out of nowhere? You were so confused that you didn’t even notice that you had squeezed the trickster’s hand in yours as if to ground yourself. Only when he tugged you with him did you realize that he was still there. You let yourself get pulled along. “Where are we?” you asked when he stopped in front of a café. “On est en France, chérie” the trickster answered with a smirk when he looked back at you. “What?! We’re in France?”

The next few minutes were a blur. Somehow you ended up sitting across from the trickster at a table at the front of the café with something to eat and drink in front of you. You had no idea what it was, the trickster had ordered it for you because you had been unable to speak up. “What are we doing here?” you asked because you couldn’t bear the silence any longer. “Enjoying our date” the trickster said with a grin. Or maybe he had been grinning ever since you two arrived in France. You didn’t know, you had spaced out for a while. “This isn’t a date” you blocked and shook your head. “I never agreed to this.” “But you haven’t sold me out to Sam and Dean yet, so you must have some interest in me” he stated confidently and leaned forward, putting his head in his palms. You shook your head more violently this time and set the cup of coffee down on the table. “The only reason why I haven’t told Sam and Dean about you is because I want to figure out what exactly it is you want and I can do that on my very own, thank you.” You kept to yourself that you weren’t sure if he still wanted to kill Sam and Dean. And as long as they weren’t after him they would be safe … -er. “I already told you what I want.” “Oh, and what would that be?” you asked with an awkward laugh as you crossed your arms in front of your chest. “You.”

Your heart stopped beating for a moment in which you just stared at the trickster in front of you with your mouth wide open in shock. Wha- … what the hell? You stood up and held your hands up in surrender. “I’m out of here.” You left the café as fast as possible, power walking down the sidewalk while shaking your head profusely. This was insane. Nuts! What had you gotten yourself into? “You know that you can’t run away from me.” You stopped and looked up to meet the mischievous eyes of the trickster. You only huffed, turned on your foot and began to walk into the other direction before turning right. “What are you trying to achieve?” You didn’t stop and just walked past him. “Still playing hard to get?” Your eyes drifted to your right where he had appeared on the sidewalk. “Let me be!” you demanded and turned left only to end up in front of the café you had run away from. Sighing you paused and spun around to face the trickster standing behind you. “You need me, sugar” he said and stretched out his hand for you to grab. You eyed him suspiciously and with one eyebrow raised. “No.” “You wanna stay in France?” Damn, he was right. You needed him to get back to Sam and Dean. You bit your lip and tapped on the ground with your foot, your arms crossed before your chest. Then you groaned and let your head fall back for a moment before straightening up again and grabbing the trickster’s outstretched hand.

The next time you opened your eyes to take in your surroundings you were standing inside your motel room with your hand still in the trickster’s. Glancing from your hands to the trickster’s face you slowly pulled away. “Thanks.” You slipped out of your jacket and threw it onto the sofa before kicking your boots off too. When you turned around to walk to the bathroom you froze. He was still standing there. “Oh, you don’t have to stop that for me.” You rolled your eyes, suppressing a death glare because you felt not confident enough to challenge him anymore and let yourself fall onto the sofa instead, pointing to the empty space next to you. Before you knew it the trickster already sat beside you, his arm draped on the back of the couch. You slid a little away from him, leaning against the armrest of the sofa with your knees against your chest so you could keep an eye on him but also keep your distance. “You can create food out of thin air, right? So, can you create something to drink too?” The trickster let out a short laugh before snapping his fingers. You looked at the wine bottle and two already filled glasses standing on the coffee table. You grabbed one and took a big gulp, needing something to sooth your nerves. The trickster did the same. “Sooo” he started, dragging out the word. “Still not a date?” You shook your head but couldn’t hold back the small laugh leaving your lips. “Nope.” And somehow the two of you began to talk. Just unimportant chitchat really but it was nice. After one glass of wine you started to really enjoy the trickster’s company. You couldn’t believe it. But when you started your third glass you paused. Somehow in the fog of your mind you were able to grab one clear thought. You realized that this was too strange, too weird … too comfortable. You fell silent. The trickster put his second glass of wine back on the table after finishing its content and slid towards you. He snatched the full glass out of your hands and set it down as well. Suddenly he sat directly in front of you, caging you in in-between the sofa and him. You awoke from your daze and felt your body stiffened up, your eyes widen when you realized in what position you were in. Clearing your throat, you pressed further into the cushions of the sofa while you got flashbacks from the first time you had been confronted with him in this kind of scenario. But you were too drunk to react further. “Ehm…” you said without knowing why. Maybe to get rid of the silence. Were your cheeks heating up? Was it the alcohol? What was happening? The trickster’s grin stretched over his whole face as he leaned closer, his face now only inches away from yours as his hands rested on your knees that were still plopped up on the sofa. Out of instinct you put your hands against his chest and gently pressed him away from you, though a small part of your mind whispered that if he wanted to do anything, he could. He was stronger than you but he let you push him away. You opened your mouth to speak and said the first thing you could think of in your tipsy state: “I don’t kiss before the fifth date.” “Oh, so it is a date!” he cheered. “N-No!”

You two stayed like that for a while, his hands still on your knees and your hands still on his chest. You could feel his heart beating through the shirt he was wearing. Maybe you should have wondered what you were doing. Or you should have fully pushed him away from you but your drunk mind didn’t think about that. You hadn’t been drinking much, right? Why were you feeling so out of it then? Pull yourself together! “So … what are you?” you asked after you had shook your head and many seconds of silence. The trickster eyed you questioningly with one raised eyebrow, still not moving further away from you. “I know you can’t be a trickster” you added. “Why do you think that?” You straightened yourself up a little as far as possible with the trickster still sitting directly in front of you. “Because you have some of their powers-“ he looked offended when you said ‘some’ so you quickly carried on. Where you concerned about his feelings? “But you also have a lot more. A trickster can’t teleport.” “Who said I teleported?” he smirked, leaning slightly forward again. “You could have made it look like an illusion if it were just you but you teleported me twice” you argued back, narrowing your eyes to slits. He stared back at you, his gaze growing more intense by the second. You gulped as you felt your cheeks heating up more. Maybe you had been wrong?

“I hadn’t thought you were that obsessed with me” he joked which only made you even more flustered. Unintelligible words left your lips before you bit your tongue, trying to regain the last pieces of pride you still had. “But you’re right, sugar” he continued and let go of you, sitting back on his previous spot. You relaxed and let out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding. When you locked eyes with him again, he was still grinning but didn’t speak up. “So?” “You’re smart” he said. “You’ll figure it out.” You wanted to counter something but the only thing that left your lips was a yawn. You remembered that the reason why you had wanted to leave that bar originally was to go to bed. The trickster laughed at the sight of you failing to stifle your yawn. “I’ll go and let you get some rest.” He stood up and snapped his fingers again, making the wine disappear. “When will I see you again?” You froze. Did you really just say that? You had only been drinking one glass, right? Or had it been two? How drunk were you? The trickster smirked once more at your words. “Done with resisting?” You didn’t answer. “You can see me any time you like, sugar” he smirked, grabbing your hand and leaving a kiss there. “Next week?” you asked. Had you always been this straight forward? Where was your filter? The trickster nodded: “If you want that.” You slowly nodded too. Was this what you wanted? You wanted to figure out what he was right? These were the only intentions you had … right? The trickster let go of your hand, taking one step back. “Wait!” you sat up on your knees but resisted the urge to reach out to him. “What am I supposed to call you? Do you have a name?” For a few moments the trickster just stared at you, flashing his teeth. “You can call me Gabe.” His words echoed from the wall as he disappeared without a trace again.

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It was about one hour later and you couldn’t find any rest. Maybe it was because your head was spinning from all the wine you had drank or maybe because you were just too rattled by everything that had happened only today. You were sitting on the small motel bed. Dean and Sam had returned from the bar about half an hour ago (you had heard them enter the room next to yours). They were probably sleeping already while you were snuggling into your blanket, looking at your phone. You starred at the name of the contact you had sought out. Unsure if you should really do it. It somehow felt wrong. Or not necessarily wrong just … weird and far too intimate. But your drunk mind didn’t care. You quickly edited the name before putting the phone on the table with a deep sigh. Looking out of the window you were only able to see the headlights of the cars passing by once in a while. Turning around you closed your eyes, slowly drifting to sleep. Just when you were on the rim of falling asleep your phone rang but you were already too far gone to register it.

Gabe: “Sleep tight, sugar. See you next week.”

To be continued … soonish

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#supernatural #supernatural gabriel #supernatural gabriel x reader #gabriel x reader #x reader #x reader image #supernatural image #supernatural dean #supernatural sam #dean winchester #Sam Winchester #female reader

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unityghost · 5 years

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Infection

Over on fanfiction.net, Willows Dancing in the Wind made the following suggestion:

"I would like to see more Dean and Gabriel interaction. Maybe Dean having to wake Gabriel up from a nightmare and he's the only one home to comfort him. I'd like to see them bond over Hell."

I'm adding this as part 12 of Post-Asmodeus Sabriel Feels, even though most of the story focuses on Dean's treatment of Gabriel. It's part of the same story line, so why not include it in the series?

Most of my regular readers are here for for the Sabriel hurt/comfort. And that's what's coming next. For those of you who are like, “Coolio but let’s just stick with what we’re really here to read,” thanks for sticking with me!

Gabriel had fallen asleep at the table.

Dean found him when he entered the kitchen to make himself a sandwich. He wasn’t surprised. Even with a fair portion of grace back in action, Gabriel was exhausted at least ninety percent of the time and functioned poorly without rest. In any case, sleep and nutrition accelerated the replenishment process. Most likely, by Castiel’s estimates, Gabriel would have had to spend an extra month or so recovering from Asmodeus sucking him dry.

So here he was, face planted on the table between his arms. Next to his head was a half-drunk mug of coffee and an unwrapped granola bar.

Well, Dean thought, opening the fridge as quietly as he could, at least Gabriel had tried to eat.

Dean sniffed at the deli drawer to make sure he was still more likely to die from ghouls slurping out his insides through a straw than by slimy roast beef, then fished out some cheese and grabbed a bottle of mayonnaise from one of the side shelves. He hoped he could find at least one clean plate in the cupboard.

“Stop.”

Crap, he’d been too loud.

Dean turned. “Sorry man, I - ”

But Gabriel was still unconscious. He’d shifted so that his face was turned to the side.

Dean watched him carefully. Gabriel moaned softly. “Stop,” he mumbled again.

Dean set the mayonnaise back on the shelf. “Gabe.”

Gabriel flinched in his sleep.

“Gabe,” Dean repeated, louder this time.

Gabriel jerked awake and shot upright. He didn’t spot Dean right away but still looked panicked once he did.

“Gabriel,” said Dean, “Everything okay?”

Gabriel’s breathing was tight and rapid. “Dean?”

“Just me.” He could see how badly Gabriel was trembling. “This was a bad one, huh?”

“Dean, where’s Sam?”

A pause. “He went out.”

Gabriel turned chalk-white.

“He’s with Cas,” Dean explained. “They’re just getting a bite to eat.”

Gabriel shook more violently. “Okay.”

Dean moved over to the table and took a seat beside him. “Want me to make you a fresh cup of coffee?”

Gabriel’s eyes fell on the half-empty mug. “How long have I been asleep?”

“When’d you decide to pass out in here?”

Gabriel considered. “2:00? 2:30? I was planning on having lunch.

Dean glanced at the untouched granola. “And lunch was a Quaker bar.”

Gabriel shrugged

“You’ve been out for an hour and a half,” Dean told him. “So how about that coffee?”

“No. No thanks. Sick to my stomach.”

“Same old routine, huh? Glass of water, then.”

“I can’t right now.”

But Dean went to the sink and filled a glass anyway, then set it in front of Gabriel. “If you change your mind.”

Gabriel stared at the glass. “Thanks.”

Dean resettled himself next to Gabriel. “It’s a gross feeling, I know. The whole nightmare game. Truth is I’d rather face down an entire army of Michaels than go through that every night like I used to.”

Gabriel offered no response.

“Listen,” Dean went on, “I’m not Sam, but I know how to do this.”

Gabriel looked at him.

“You know how many years of experience I have trying to hold someone together? Doesn’t always work, but I ain’t a new pledge.”

Gabriel had calmed down a little, not quite as tense as he had been a few moments before. “You probably don’t want to watch the show.”

“I can guarantee you I’ve put on better performances.”

“Trust me, it gets ugly.”

“Yeah, I know. But it’s uglier if you’re alone.

“Dean, I don’t expect - ”

“Hey. It’s all good. We don’t have to talk if you don’t wanna talk; I can just sit here, give you … moral support.”

Gabriel sighed. “It’s your funeral.”

“So can you think of anything that’d …” Dean made vague gestures with his hands. “... help?”

“Well, you’re not mad or freaked out, so don’t worry about extra credit.”

“What are the extra credit options?”

“You could write a paper on how much of a disaster I am. Sam can grade it.”

“Pass.”

“You’re not a sympathy puker, are you?”

“Who do you think was the one to clean up after a preschool-aged Sam, huh?”

“I just wanted to make sure you have the credentials for this job.” Gabriel paused. “You know that’s what Sam called it? His ‘job’?”

“I think it’s more than that to him.”

“Why? Just …” Gabriel struggled for the right words. “Why?”

Dean considered. “No offense, but if you’d seen yourself when you first got here, you’d probably understand.”

Gabriel gave a hollow laugh. “I wouldn’t have touched me with a ten-foot pole.”

“What can I say? Sam is … you know, sometimes I wonder why he stuck with hunting. The kid used to catch spiders in cups and take them outside. He sees someone like you and just …”

Gabriel smiled. “Catches me in a cup and puts me outside?”

“Nah, man, he wanted to hold onto you.”

“That was a strange decision.”

“I don’t know Gabriel, he just cares.”

“Yeah, okay, but - I mean, Cas I can sort of get. He’s my brother and maybe he feels like he has to do something. But Sam? Dean, I’m the most irritating bitch of an archangel in all of Dad’s creation.”

“Right, I forgot how much more fun it is to watch Lucifer and Michael corrupt the integrity of existence itself than to pick you up off the floor once in a while.”

Gabriel slumped in his chair. “It drives me nuts that your brother’s so good at both.”

“I’d like to say he learned it from me, but I’ve gotten more out of watching him than I’d ever be able to come up with on my own.”

“Yeah, well …” Gabriel ran both hands through his hair. “Shit.”

Dean watched him carefully. “Gabe, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Takes me a little while is all.”

“You wanna tell me about it?”

Gabriel groaned, still holding his head. “I just - this always ends messy. I don’t even remember what I say to Sam most of the time; all I know is there’s never any pride left to spare.”

“I’ll leave you alone if that’s what you want, but I don’t think it is.”

“Mm. Yeah. I guess not.”

They sat in silence for a while. Gabriel kept his head lowered and his eyes fixed on the table.

Dean was surprised when Gabriel was the first to speak. “Asmodeus did so much to hurt me. Even if I manage to catch a break from thinking about one form of torture, there’s another right behind it. And angels aren’t supposed to dream. When we do it’s … it’s so real.”

“I don’t think that’s unique to angels,” Dean told him.

Gabriel lifted his head. “I can’t wait for all this to be over. These nightmares, they’re screwing me up so bad.”

“You just gotta wait for your grace to come back and then take it from there.”

Gabriel looked desperate. “I don’t know how to wait this out. It’s taking too long.”

Dean raised his eyebrows. “You’re an archangel and six months feels like a long time to you?”

“Yes! I mean, look at Sam! He’s fine. He has his bad days but he’s so …so not like me. And you, too. You both went through the same thing I did and you’re human. You’re the ones who are supposed to have low expectations.”

Dean’s expression soured. “Thanks, Gabriel. Look, I think you’re missing a few pieces here. One, Sam doesn’t just have ‘bad days.’ He’d never let you witness it, but sometimes the resemblance between you guys is creepy. Two, you were in the pit for a long-ass time, longer than me or Sam. And three, I’m not the role model you should be looking to when it comes to making a healthy recovery. I was in there for less than a century and sometimes I can’t see three feet ahead because someone looked at me funny. Cut yourself a break.”

Gabriel squirmed. “But I can’t tell there’s anything wrong with you! I could settle for just being able to pretend.”

“Bad idea. I know archangels probably don’t have livers, but - ”

“Sam keeps reminding me it’s going to take longer than I think it should,” Gabriel continued. “Tell me, Dean: if you guys are still as damaged as you say, how is it that you function? How do you … how do you just keep going without falling apart again and again?”

Dean looked down at his hands. “If I knew, I’d pass along my wisdom.”

“Dean, you’re both so much stronger than I am.”

“No.”

“You are. I’m not trying to host a pity-party; I’m giving the facts.”

“Gabe - ” Dean turned back to him. “Beating the crap out of yourself isn’t gonna do anything except pull you backwards. You were in Hell. You were screwed over in the worst way. And the only person who’s mad at you for the fallout is you. Me and Sam … we don’t like seeing you like this. The most you should’ve gotten for being such a jerk to us before is maybe a solid half hour of me yelling at you. But this? What you actually wound up with? I wouldn’t have ever wished that on you. I wouldn’t send anyone to Hell unless they were part of the administration. It sucks down there, Gabriel. It sucks and we just want to help.”

He watched as Gabriel’s eyes filled with tears. Normally, Dean would have frozen up, but he’d been expecting things to go south sooner or later. He had known that the situation would become, as Gabriel put it, “ugly.”

“Dean,” Gabriel croaked, “I spill my guts to your brother even though I know better, and no matter how many times I let him take care of me, I still haven’t - haven’t told him even half of what Asmodeus did to me - and hardly anything about what Asmodeus made me do. I can’t. If Sam let me talk about that stuff, everything would change. You’d all look at me differently. You wouldn’t want to room with me. There’s so much I - ” He turned away, and the last words came out as a sob. “So much I can’t tell any of you.”

“Hey,” Dean replied softly, wondering if it was better to reach out or give him space. “If there’s stuff you don’t want to say, you don’t have to say it. If you keep it to yourself just because you think those are the rules, you’ve gotta let one of us try to change your mind.”

“Have you - ” Gabriel’s head was lowered towards his lap, his eyes squeezed shut. “Did Sam ever tell you anything? Any of what I confessed to him?”

“No. I don’t think he’d do something like that.”

“But you know the kinds of things they do in Hell.” Gabriel shuddered, then opened his eyes. “You know how they ... everything that they ...”

“Of course I do,” Dean said gently.

“So some of it ... you might be able to guess.”

Dean grimaced. “I think it might be more than just ‘some.’”

“But how do you know when it’s cool to talk about it? What if people really do start seeing you like ... like what you already know you are?”

“Okay, look.” Dean shifted his chair so that he was facing Gabriel. “I’m not exactly an over-sharer myself, but Sam and Cas have never, ever given me crap for bringing up the worst. Including the torture that I carried out with my own two hands. And when I was in Hell, everything happened to me - and whatever happened to me, I did to the newbies over and over and over again. And Sam? When he was in Hell, that kid saw the dark. There’s still mountains of crap he won’t tell me no matter how hard I push. The truth is that if anyone’s permanently messed up, it’s him.” Dean’s softened his tone. “Just like you said, I know what they do down there. I know, and so does Sam. Now, I don’t know exactly what you went through for all that time, but a solid fifty percent of it is bound to be familiar. If anyone’s gonna judge you for what happened, it ain’t us.”

For almost a full minute, Gabriel simply stared at him, eyes bright with fear. Dean decided to ride the silence out, to let Gabriel take control of the conversation.

When Gabriel finally spoke, his voice trembled. “What if you three do everything to help and it doesn’t work? What if it’s a waste of your time? Dean, I - ” He clenched his fists, face crumpling again. “I don’t think I’m going to get better.”

“Hey, you know us. We’re stubborn sons of bitches and we don’t give up easy. For better or worse, you’re gonna have to live with that.”

Gabriel went on crying, trying to choke it down.

Dean pushed the glass of water towards him. “All right, drink some of that. It’ll only do you good.”

Gabriel shook his head, eyes locked shut again.

“Come on, Gabe, you know it’ll help.”

“I can’t,” Gabriel rasped. “Dean, I feel really sick.”

“I promise this is the best thing for that.”

“No!”

“Okay. Okay. Then let’s get you lying down or something. You’re exhausted and you need to be somewhere you can take it easy.” Dean got to his feet and carefully touched Gabriel’s shoulder to signal that he should rise too. Gabriel didn’t flinch at the contact. “Let’s go; I’ll stay with you until Sam gets back.”

With a strangled sob, Gabriel stood up. He moved a little unevenly as they made their way down the hall, but mostly because he was still shivering, not because he couldn’t balance.

They arrived at Gabriel’s room and Dean ushered him inside, leaving the door open so that Sam could hear them when he arrived home. Gabriel lay on his side and curled up, turning his tear-streaked face away from Dean.

“Take off your shoes; get comfortable,” Dean instructed. “Just relax, Gabe; it’s gonna be fine. You wanna talk, we’ll talk; you wanna lie there and just not think about anything, that’s okay too.”

“I can’t not think about it,” Gabriel whispered. “The dream.”

“But you don’t want to say what it was.”

“It’s no different from what I usually dream about. That’s the problem. Everything is the same and it shocks my whole system no matter how many times I see it. I thought maybe I’d get inured to it after a while, but I - I didn’t.” He hesitated before adding, “I keep dreaming that he comes here. Not even that he manages to get past the warding, but that he rings the doorbell and one of you lets him in. I scream; I always end up clinging to Sam, trying to get him to help me, just - just begging for one of you to reconsider, and then Asmodeus grabs me and I can’t breathe and - ”

“All right, all right. Try to calm down. Here, let’s talk about something different, okay? Something to keep your mind off that asshat. What else d’you want to talk about?”

Gabriel rolled over so that he was lying on his back, looking up at Dean. “There’s nothing else. There’s only him. That’s all I am now, Dean. He took everything away.”

“No, that’s not true, come on.”

“It is. I can’t be distracted. Sam’s tried that, and it never works. It hasn’t done any good, not even once.”

“Okay, so then what else might help?”

“Nothing helps. It just doesn’t. I have to wait it out.”

“All right.” Dean sat down on the bed. “We’ll wait it out together, okay?”

There was a long moment of silence during which Dean simply sat still and Gabriel hugged himself, shaking. When Gabriel failed to speak, Dean took the initiative. “You doing okay?”

“Just scared,” Gabriel muttered.

“Nothing to be scared of.”

“I know, I know - I’m trying.”

“Don’t put too much pressure on yourself. If you’re afraid, then you’re afraid. It’ll pass, like you said.”

“Hey, can you, uh ... can you get the wastebasket for me? I think I might throw up.”

“Sure thing.” Dean moved it next to the bed, within Gabriel’s immediate reach. “You’re gonna be okay.”

“Don’t get excited.” A beat, then: “You said you know what it’s like. And so you know it won’t go away. You’re still there. The feeling infects everything.”

“Yeah, I do know.”

“Sometimes I ... I look at Sam and even he doesn’t seem safe anymore. It’s like I can taste the dream at the back of my throat.”

“I get it, man. I really do.”

Gabriel closed his eyes. “This is too much.”

“Just ride it out, Gabe.”

Gabriel suddenly jerked upright, panicked. “Dean - ”

Dean picked up the wastebasket and gave it to him. Gabriel dry-heaved, struggling for breath.

“Hey,” said Dean, “You want me to touch you or no?”

Gabriel whimpered. “Help.”

Dean inched nearer and rested a hand on Gabriel’s back. “You’re doing good.”

Gabriel gagged, bringing up the half-cup of coffee he’d managed before falling asleep, as well as whatever Sam had coaxed into him that morning.

Dean was so intent on trying to ground Gabriel that he didn’t notice his brother and Castiel in the doorway.

“Oh god!” Sam sprinted over to them. Gabriel, too sick to raise his head, didn’t seem to notice. “Dean, what happened to him?”

“Just a shitty nap.” Keeping his hand in place, Dean glanced over at Cas. “You two have a good time?”

Castiel’s eyes were fixed on Gabriel. “Better than yours, I’d imagine.”

Sam looked on in horror as Gabriel continued to vomit. “Dean, why didn’t you call me?”

“Because we were okay.”

“You call this okay?”

“Come on, it isn’t like you’re seeing anything new. You were out and I was here and we were fine.”

Sam moved nearer and bent down to examine Gabriel. “Gabriel?”

Gabriel was pale and shaking. He stared down into the wastebasket for a few seconds before throwing up again.

“He’s bad,” Sam whispered.

“I think he’s almost done.” Dean peered more closely at Gabriel’s face. Gabriel spat into the wastebasket and raised his eyes to meet Dean’s. “See, look at that.”

“Gabriel?” Sam pried the wastebasket from his hands and put it on the floor. “Hey, Gabriel, what happened?”

Gabriel coughed weakly. “Why the hell are you acting so surprised?”

“Guess I shouldn’t’ve left you alone, huh?”

“Jesus Christ, Sammy, he wasn’t alone,” Dean protested.

Sam sat down on Gabriel’s other side. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here.”

Gabriel waved him away. “I can survive two hours without you.”

Maybe Dean was imagining it, but he thought Sam looked almost hurt.

“Dean,” said Castiel, “You shouldn’t hesitate to let one of us know if something feels out of your depth.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence, Cas. What do you guys think I am, a Vulcan?”

“A Klingon,” Sam admitted.

“Okay, Sam, you know what?” Still resting his hand on Gabriel’s back, he met Sam’s gaze. “First of all, why’d you leave if you thought I’d only make things worse? And second, if anyone should be writing a half-assed letter of recommendation, it’s definitely not you.”

Sam closed his eyes in frustration. “This isn’t the same thing.”

“No, Sam, he has a point,” Castiel broke in. “When children learn to play the piano for the first time and all they know is ‘Mary Had a Little Lamb’ ... it isn’t as though they forget which keys can be used to form a different melody.”

“Well,” said Dean, “I just lost twenty years’ worth of testosterone, but I appreciate the new attitude.”

“Will you stop talking about me like I’m not here?” Gabriel snapped. “Sam, leave your brother alone. Cas, give Dean his testosterone back. And Dean, if these two eventually decide I’m worth consulting, you won’t need that letter of recommendation.”

Sam glanced between Dean and Gabriel.

“Stop worrying so much,” Dean told him. “I’m not made of stone.”

“I think you may have underestimated your brother, Sam,” Cas agreed.

Sam looked at Castiel, then back at Gabriel. “Did I, Gabe?”

“Yeah,” Gabriel replied, “It looks like you did. Man, are you both annoying.” But he leaned into Sam’s body and hugged him.

“Okay.” Sam returned the embrace. “Sorry, I ... I guess you just looked pretty wrecked when I came in.”

“That’s because I am a wreck.” Gabriel pulled away. “How is that news?”

“In any case,” said Castiel, “You must feel worn out. It sounds like it’s been a long afternoon.”

“Yeah.” Gabriel laid his head on Dean’s shoulder, failing to notice Sam’s look of astonishment. “Feels like I can hardly move.”

“You were quite sick,” Cas agreed.

“What do you think about trying to lie down?” asked Dean.

Gabriel scoffed. “Because that went so well the last time.”

“Okay, yeah, but you’re over the worst of it, don’t you think?”

“Maybe. I guess.”

“Why don’t I stay with you for a little while?” Sam suggested.

Gabriel lifted his head from Dean’s shoulder. “It’d be good to talk to you.”

“Yeah, okay. Guys, I’ll take care of things in here. You go relax.”

Dean stood up. “Holler if Sam gets too annoying.”

Gabriel smiled.

Out in the hall, Castiel turned to Dean. “Don’t let Sam’s skepticism get to you; he ... he just feels guilty that he might not be doing enough.”

“Gabe’s better than he was,” Dean replied. “I hope Sam can see that.”

“Even if he does, he may not attribute the improvement to his own efforts.”

“I’ll give him a pep talk.”

“And I certainly hope,” Castiel added, studying Dean closely, “That you know your input counts for something too.”

“All right. Well.” Dean turned and started making his way back down the hall. “While you and Sam were out feasting, I never got an opportunity to finish my sandwich. Come sing my praises in the kitchen.”

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