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gammaspectrum · 5 years

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All right. It is time for me to try once again to come up with a theory as to how @unityghost 's PASF diverges from canon.

Unity has already said that she imagined a divergent point sometime during 13x22 "Exodus" with the only effective change being Gabriel's survival (the exact means of this survival was not decided upon).

Clues in her stories as to what other important events occurred are the references to Dean being possessed by Michael [as referenced in "Midnight Blue"] and Jack having lost his Grace [as referenced in "Instinct"].

I previously suggested that a reasonable set of events that could have led to the timeline of PASF would have occurred in "Exodus" and would have gone something like this:

The episode would have proceeded as we saw, right up until the survivors of Apocalypse World and Team Free Will 2.0 was approaching the rift, and instead of both Gabriel and Lucifer fighting Michael, only Lucifer did. Ending with Lucifer dead, and Michael trapped permanently in the other world, as Dean, Sam, and Gabriel all escape while Michael and Lucifer are fighting. This leading to a relatively conflict free timeline in which PASF exists. There are obvious discrepancies here, as this does not account for Jack’s lost Grace, or how Dean ended up possessed by Michael.

So instead:

In the canon timeline, Michael appeared and first Lucifer tried to confront him. Lucifer is quickly defeated but not killed by Michael, and then Gabriel decides to try to fight Michael for the Winchesters and is killed. Sam and Dean only cross the rift after Sam has made sure that Lucifer would be stranded in the Apocalypse World.

So, then, what has to change so that Gabriel is not killed, Michael still ends up in the normal universe, and Jack loses his Grace?

The most obvious possibility is that Gabriel does not attempt to fight Michael.

But, you might ask, if Gabriel didn't fight Michael, then surely Michael would have been able to cross the rift if Gabriel hadn't helped to run out the clock.

Well, I posit that the clock never needed to be run out, that the only thing that was keeping the rift open was Rowena. So the rift would have closed the moment that Rowena wasn't holding it open anymore, and she was only holding it open until Sam and Dean crossed back.

So the question is, why did Sam and Dean stay back as long as they did? And I think the answer was that Sam was trying to make sure that Lucifer didn't cross back, and so he stayed as long as he thought was possible to ensure that.

So, what if Sam had realized that the rift would close the moment he and Dean (and Gabriel) crossed back, and Lucifer would have been stranded without Sam having to wait for the last second.

So, in the PASF timeline, I suggest that Lucifer goes to confront Michael and Sam, Dean, and Gabriel make their escape while Michael is distracted with Lucifer. The moment Sam, Dean and Gabriel cross back the the regular world, Rowena closes the rift. Gabriel is alive. Lucifer and Michael are in the Apocalypse World.

As with the canon show, Lucifer and Michael still make their deal, and both of them cross to the regular world, exactly as in "Let the Good Times Roll". Events proceed as the we saw there, and I posit that Gabriel's presence in that episode makes no difference, as his mental health likely deteriorated (in keeping with PASF) and he was unable to aid the Winchesters with either of his brothers.

[Whether or not he was present to witness when Jack's Grace was stolen by Lucifer, and both Sam and Jack were kidnapped by Lucifer, and during Dean's negotiations with Michael, I'll leave to Unity to decide, and in what way he might have reacted to it if he did.]

So with that, Jack has lost his Grace and Michael is in the normal world. Dean-as-Michael kills Lucifer, and is briefly stolen by Michael as his new vessel.

But clearly the events of season 14 are mostly not present in PASF. There aren't many options for how this is possible, but I'll suggest that Ketch manages to find the golden-egg device that can exorcise an archangel to the Cage, and does so more quickly than in the actual canon timeline. And since (for argument's sake) this happens before Dean can start acting as an unwitting spy for Michael, Michael is unprepared for this attack and is successfully sent to the Cage with his normal world counterpart.

So at last, we have a timeline where Jack is without his powers (and is presumably surviving off his soul? Let's assume Lily Sunder helped at some point without Jack having to die first, and the Winchesters actually got Jack to agree to not burn away his soul, or maybe for Unity might want to add Jack's near/actual death experience into the mix of her stories with the Lily Sunder resolution, I don't know), Lucifer is dead, and Michael was in the normal universe but the threat of him has been resolved without having to drag Gabriel into the fray.

That seems to set up the universe in which PASF exists, and I don't think I missed any details that would contradict this potential explanation.

And, therefore there are essentially two divergent points then? One for Gabriel surviving in “Exodus” and one for exorcising Michael to the Cage sometime before 14x02 “Gods and Monsters” (after which Dean is released by Michael and starts acting as a spy, rendering the Men of Letters golden-egg thing plot useless).

[For the record, this is 95% an excuse for me to see if I could puzzle out a reasonable explanation that accounts for all the events that did and did not seem to happen in PASF, because these kinds of intellectual exercises are fun for me, and also it keeps me from obsessing about pending graduate applications.]

#post-asmodeus sabriel feels

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professional-trickster · 4 years

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COMPLETED FUCKING AMAZING BINGE-WORTHY FULL LENGTH SUPERNATURAL FICS

All of these fics are amazing, superb, incredibly well written, aamhdsjhdshgdshjdsDBSJAKS I LOVE THEM ALL SO MUCH JHRDJHDSJHDSJH I was writing recommendations for each one but then realized I was repeating myself a lot. GO READ THEM I BEG OF YOU AAAA.

So these are lonk bois, most of these authors also have incredible one shots, but these fics can last you over for awhile. I like to put them chapter by chapter than read them while camping. The honorable mentions are also amazing and incredible as well, just not finished yet. Seriously check them out too. If I know the authors on here I’ll tag them. Happy binginging yall!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/6450124/chapters/14761804 Continuity

https://archiveofourown.org/works/6150186/chapters/14091093 The new dads in town @messingaround

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15934706/chapters/37156073 The man in the mirror by @scrollingkingfisher

https://archiveofourown.org/works/4241886/chapters/9597972 Learning to live again @mon petit tresor

https://archiveofourown.org/works/6001191/chapters/13784946 Blast into the past @mon petit tresor

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9691398/1/A-History-of-Heaven A history of heaven (This one... fucking amazing. Please. Read)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/2814767/chapters/6315074 In all your borrowed finery

https://archiveofourown.org/works/10319507/chapters/22816658 Ravensong @scrollingkingfisher

Honorable mentions:

https://archiveofourown.org/series/558469 by the grace of god

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17374925/chapters/40888958 wee angles and family

https://archiveofourown.org/series/637085 midsummers children @sageclover61

https://archiveofourown.org/series/1150553 POst asmodeus Sabriel feels @unityghost

https://archiveofourown.org/series/139554 The horns grace

#Supernatural #Sabriel #Destiel #fanfiction #sabriel fanfic #Sabriel fanfiction #destiel fanfiction

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majesticfox34556 · 4 years

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Broken Together

Title: Broken Together

Rating: T (Teen)

Word Count: 1,086 words

Pairing: Pre Sabriel (Sam/Gabriel)

Tags: Aftermath of torture, post-season 13 episode 20 Unfinished Business, angst

Summary: Sam knew what Gabriel was going through.

"Every day Asmodeus tortured me... every day! He fed off my grace for years!"

Sam knew very well what the archangel went through. He wanted to help. He wanted to help the hurt and broken angel.

"If you are broken then I guess we are broken together.”

Read: “Every day Asmodeus tortured me… Every day!”

Sam could hear the pain in Gabriel’s voice. He remembered what he went through in the cage. No one deserves that.

“He fed off my grace for years! He used me, he debased me until I was…” Gabriel took a deep breath. “What I went through… you don’t forgive. Everyone who had a hand in it will die. Get me?”

“Yeah. We do.” Sam spoke out loud. ‘I do.’ Sam thought. He wasn’t sure about Dean. Dean’s experience in Hell was a damn paradise island compared to what Sam and Gabriel went through. Sam flinched back from the memories. It had been years but that pain doesn’t ever go away. It will always hurt.

*************

After Gabriel killed Loki. they were on their way back to the Bunker. Dean had stopped for a break.

“Sam?” Gabriel’s voice sounded cautious.

“Yes, Gabriel?” Sam turned to face the archangel.

“You never said how you managed to get Luci back in his box.” Gabriel wouldn’t meet his eyes.

Sam breathed deeply through his nose. “I said yes. I took back control of my body and I jumped into the cage. Michael tried to stop me and I grabbed him and dragged him down with me.” Gabriel didn’t speak. Sam didn’t look at him. “When I say I know what you went through, I really mean it. I lost count how many years I spent down there. I would gladly take eight years. I was down there for a whole earth year and a half. My soul was at least.” Sam grew quiet. “It felt like forever.” Sam chanced a look back and saw Gabriel staring at him.

“Does it ever go away? The pain?” Gabriel’s voice sounded small. “It’s been eight years and I have yet to get fully over it. It doesn’t help that my tormentor is free again.” Sam reached out a hand to the hurt being. “Sometimes, it’s all I can do to get out of bed and face a new day. Sometimes it feels like I am still back there. I know it’s not what you want to hear, but everyone is different.”

“250,” Gabriel spoke quietly.

“Huh?” Sam frowned.

“You were down there for 250 hell years.” Gabriel snorted bitterly. “My pain seems like nothing compared to yours.”

“Don’t say that!” Sam gentled his tone. “Never say that. My time was longer but everyone’s trauma is important. Your pain is no lesser than mine.”

“I guess I’m just broken. I’m sorry I can’t be more help.” Gabriel huddled in on himself.

Sam laid a hesitant hand on Gabriel’s shoulder. “If you’re broken then so am I. Maybe we-” Sam shut his mouth as Dean opened the car door.

“Everything okay?” Dean paused.

“We’re good. We ready to keep driving?” Sam faced the front.

Dean placed his bag of snacks on the seat between him and Sam. “I don’t know if you were hungry so I got a bit of everything. Help yourself.” Dean motioned to Gabriel as he started the car. “We’re about four hours out.”

Gabriel turned away. “I’m not hungry bucko. Angel remember.”

Sam watched the fields of grain roll past as the mountains faded in the distance.

**************

Sam woke from a dead sleep as a shout echoed in the bunker. He sprung from the bed and made his way to the room three doors down. “Gabriel?” Sam stepped into the room.

The archangel was huddled in the corner of the room with his eyes wild. He was awake but was still dreaming. Sam stepped as close as Gabriel allowed before sinking to the floor. He sat there and waited calmly for Gabriel to settle down.

“Gabriel,” Sam called softly but strongly. “You’re not there. You’re safe. Wake up.”

Gabriel blinked and his eyes cleared. “Sam? Did Dean?”

“No. You were only loud enough for me to hear.” Sam didn’t move as he waited for the archangel to gather himself.

“You can go.” Gabriel sounded angry.

“No,” Sam spoke calmly.

“No? What do you mean no?” Gabriel demanded.

“Nightmares?” Sam asked knowingly.

“Yes. Not that it’s your concern.” Gabriel huddled in on himself, clutching his sides and hunching his shoulders.

“Can I?” Sam gestured to the spot next to Gabriel. Gabriel shrugged in response. Sam took it as a yes. Sam scooted closer so they were sitting side by side but not touching. Sam didn't speak. He just offered his silent support. Eventually, the silence got to Gabriel.

“Why do you even care? I tortured you and left you in the lurch. I killed Dean over and over and when you guys needed me the most, I ran. Like a fucking coward.” Gabriel spits the words out.

“You’re not a coward,” Sam spoke softly. “You are a survivor. There is a difference.”

“No. I’m a coward. I ran from Heaven and my family. I ran from you when you needed me. Twice.” Gabriel curled tighter.

“I forgive you,” Sam spoke earnestly. “I forgive you Gabriel and I am here. I will always be here for you.”

That was when the first hitching sob came from Gabriel. Sam reached out and curled an arm around Gabriel’s shoulders pulling him into his chest. “I got you. Let it out.”

Sam held him as the tears and rage came. He murmured the whole time into his ear, as Gabriel’s powers got out of whack and destroyed the bed and room, as his tears soaked Sam’s undershirt.

When Gabriel was all tired out and fell asleep in Sam’s arms, Sam rose to his feet. He carried Gabriel down the hall to his room. He laid him on the bed and slipped under the covers next to him. Sam gathered the being to his chest and hugged him tight as he fell asleep.

**************

Sam woke the next morning to loud bangs. His door slammed open and a frantic Dean barged into his room.

“Sammy! Gabriel’s gone! His room looked-” Dean fell silent at the peacefully sleeping archangel in his brother’s bed.

“Shhhh!” Sam hushed. “He had a nightmare last night. I got him.”

“I’ll make breakfast.” Dean left the room in a daze.

“Who ‘as it?” Gabriel slurred.

“It was Dean. He’s making breakfast.” Sam fell back into the bed.

“Thanks, Sam.” Gabriel smiled a true smile at the hunter. “I know I’m broken. You didn’t have to…”

“Hey.” Sam turned to face Gabriel. “I will always be here for you. If you are broken then I guess we are broken together.”

#sabriel #fanfiction #supernatural fandom #SPN #season 13 #aftermath of torture #hurt comfort

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ao3feed-destiel · 5 years

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Feathers, feelings and fuckery

Read it on AO3 here!https://ift.tt/30bMTUi

by Arynthegay

When Sam and Gabriel are sent on a hunt together to find out what creepy monster has been kidnapping humans and using them as demon vessels, they find more than they bargained for with the other.

Only problem is, both of them are idiots.

Words: 2212, Chapters: 2/2, Language: English

Fandoms: Supernatural

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Categories: M/M

Characters: Sam Winchester, Gabriel (Supernatural), Castiel (Supernatural), Dean Winchester

Relationships: Gabriel/Sam Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester

Additional Tags: Gabriel Has a Crush on Sam Winchester, Background Destiel, prominent sabriel, Gabriel Has Nightmares, Gabriel has PTSD, post-asmodeus, Gabriel Has Issues, Protective Sam Winchester, Sam Winchester Has a Crush on Gabriel, Original Female Character(s) - Freeform, Wing Kink, Wing Grooming, Gabriel has golden wings

Link: https://ift.tt/30bMTUi

#ao3feed #ao3feed destiel #destiel

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scrollingkingfisher · 5 years

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If You Can’t Stand the Heat, Get Out of the Kitchen

Rating: Explicit Warnings: Lemons ahoy Summary: Heat is always a trying time for everybody in a pack.

A short smutty follow up to The Smell of Home! The beta’d, tidied version will be posted on AO3 tomorrow, but for now, have the rough n’ ready version instead!

Written for Day Two of Sabriel Week - A/B/O - tagging @sabrielevents

***

“Hey, Sam, you got a mome-”

Gabriel stops short in Sam’s doorway as a ferocious, ear-ripping snarl hits him in the face. It’s the sort of bellowing, feral sound that Gabriel would expect to come from a bear which had just been kicked in the nads, or maybe a particularly feral werewolf being pricked by a silver needle.

But it wasn’t something he had ever expected to hear from one of his human packmates.

“I’ll… I’ll come back later.”

Gabriel quickly closed the door again. He blinked at the wood for a second, still trying to process his disbelief.

Finally, he gave up, heading towards the kitchen. Cas was in there already, prodding suspiciously with a spatula at something blackened that might have once been eggs.

“Sam growled at me,” Gabriel said, dropping himself into a chair. Cas just hummed distractedly. “No, he really growled at me,” Gabriel emphasised, sensing that Cas wasn’t taking him seriously. “Like he was a badly behaved chihuahua and I was the postman!”

Dean came into the room behind him with the slap of slippered feet and a flap of bath robe, yawning before walking over stepping over to nuzzle against Cas’ neck. “Mornin’ babe. What’s Gabe on about?”

“Good morning, Dean. He’s been annoying Sam again.”

“He roared at me!” Gabriel complained again, getting a little impatient, because seriously? Were they hearing what he just said? Was everyone just gonna ignore this?

Dean turned to give him a look as though he was missing something glaringly obvious. “Dude. Are you telling me you haven’t been able to smell him for the last week?”

“Of course I have!” Gabriel was affronted. Of course he’d smelt Sam! Their relationship might still have been in its early stages, but they’d been making out and scenting each other. In fact, the more he thought about it, Sam’s scent had seemed stronger recently. More earthy, pungent...

Dean snorted, raising an eyebrow. “You’ve been on Earth for how long, slept with how many people, and you’ve never been around an omega in pre-heat before?”

Pre-heat. Of course. Why hadn’t he put it together? The scent, the irritability.

Gabriel shrugged, throwing his hands up. “You know me, Dean, I prefer to take the easy route out! Yeah, I’ve had my fun, but when people start getting mad and I’m usually outta there like I’ve been fired from cupid’s arrow. I don’t usually stick around.” Not to mention, he hadn’t wanted to stick around omegas in heat. He didn’t usually stick around long enough with his previous partners to know for certain whether they truly wanted him during heat, or just the closest available knot. The whole situation made him uncomfortable.

“Didn’t you have a thing going with Kali?”

Gabriel scoffed. “Are you noseblind, Deano? That lady was all alpha.”

“Alpha on alpha? Kinky.”

Cas turned to point the spatula at him, a sad strand of cremated egg dangling from the end. “Alpha/alpha relationships are perfectly acceptable, Dean, and you know it. Now stop trying to wind my brother up and set the table.”

“Okay, okay. Grub coming up.”

“What should I do?” Gabriel asked as Dean bustled around him, setting out the plates and cutlery while Cas dished out the eggs and produced the beans from the microwave. It felt wrong to eat a meal without Sam- like there was a gap in his flock, and Gabriel batted down the instinct to go and round him up.

Dean shrugged, pulling his chair in and tucking into his eggs. “At the moment? Leave him alone. Sam’s always a bitch the day before, but he should have calmed down by tomorrow.”

Gabriel turned down his own portion of massacred eggs, but accepted a piece of toast. “He didn’t tell me his heat was coming.” He felt kinda hurt- surely you were meant to tell your partner that sort of thing?

Dean glanced up, then away awkwardly. “He probably didn’t know. Sam’s never been exactly regular. Always seemed to start right in the middle of fuckin’ hunt.”

Heat.

What would Sam expect from him? For all his millennia of experience, he really hadn’t been around omegas much at all. Sam was the first time he’d found enough family, pack, flock again to relax enough that he was letting his biology influence him. Every rumour of alphas losing control in rut floated behind his eyes. Father, he’d never forgive himself. Not that he ever would, that was an excuse used by abusive alphas more than reality, but still… the worry was there.

And Sam… what if Sam wanted something Gabriel couldn’t give him yet? As much progress as they’d made, and as willing as his consciousness might be, Gabriel’s biology was still wary after what Asmodeus had done to him. Anything more than heavy petting sent him spinning towards a panic attack. And as much as he was slowly improving, Gabriel didn’t think he was up to heat sex yet.

“Dude, I can smell you stressing from here. It’ll be fine, it’s Sammy. Relax.”

That was easier said than done, but Gabriel tried to put it out of his head.

...

Dean had been right, he realised. How had he ever missed the scent?

By lunchtime, it was unavoidable. Sam’s smell permeated every corner of the bunker, drawing him in enticingly and making rubbing his wrists to scent the furniture irresistible. By the evening, he couldn’t hold himself back any more, despite his misgivings.

He hesitated, staring at Sam’s door. Should he wait? He didn’t really want to be roared at again, but there was no way he was going to sleep tonight in a cold bed with this scent in the air.

He pushed the door open.

The first thing that hit him was the scent. It was more intense than it had been in the corridor, almost eye-wateringly strong- the bitter earthy scent of coffee, laced with an edge of honeysuckle, drowned out everything else. He instantly wanted to roll in it, rub his face and neck and wrists against it until their scents were blended into one.

He closed his eyes and held his breath. Get a hold of yourself, Gabriel.

“Gabe?”

He looked around. From under the huge number of blankets piled on the bed, a pair of green-blue eyes peeked out at him.

“Sam…”

He dithered, wondering if he was about to be ejected from the room, but an arm reached out in invitation. With a smile, Gabriel slipped off his shoes and slipped into the oppressive heat under the blankets. A pair of long arms wrapped around him.

“Mmm… Gabe. Glad you’re here. Sorry I growled at you earlier. Stupid fucking heat.”

“S’okay, Sammykins, not your fault.” Gabriel hesitated again, torn between nervousness and want. “Sam… I don’t think I can…”

Sam bent down, pressed a gentle peck against his lips. “I know, it’s fine, Gabe. I don’t need that, just you.”

Gabriel sighed in relief. “You have no idea how relieved I am to hear that, Samosa.” Sam chuckled, wrapping long arms around him and nuzzling scent into the top of his head. Gabriel smiled against his chest. “Okay, what can I do to help?”

“Just… be here.”

Gabriel looked at him, one eyebrow raised. Sam elaborated. “You could… lie on top of me. Not a sex thing, I promise,” he said quickly as Gabriel balked, “it’s the pressure, it keeps me calm. And that way, I can scent you too. That should make it better.”

“Sounds doable. Aye aye, coming aboard!”

Sam chuckled at his ridiculousness, twisting them around and throwing off the oppressive heat of the blankets. Gabriel shifted, climbed up somewhat awkwardly. Just as he was lying down, he felt a hardness pressing against his hip and froze.

Sam winced. “Sorry.”

Gabriel settled himself more solidly on top of him. “Not your fault. It’s a physiological reaction, right?” Sam nodded. “And anyway,” Gabriel continued, snaking one hand down, “when I’m better? I absolutely want to feel this inside me.”

Sam’s pupils, which had already been wide, blew out until they nearly eclipsed his irises. He licked his lips. “You’d… you’d do that? Oh- Gabe!”

“This is okay, right?”

Sam nodded furiously as Gabriel stroked him through his boxers, his thighs twitching and opening involuntarilty. “Yeah, yeah, don’t stop,” he said, breathless. The scent of slick wafted up, heady and pungent, and Gabriel watched as a crimson blush colour his cheeks with embarrassment. Gabriel squeezed gently, stroking more firmly, grinning. He might not be able to knot Sam, but this? This he could do.

That beautiful flush spread across Sam’s chest as he threw his head back. He was so worked up already, Gabriel realised. So desperate, trying to hold himself back. “G-Gabe… you… you don’t need to, don’t wanna make you uncomfortable, I don’t need-”

“I’m gonna work you up, just like this, until you’re all hot and bothered and wet for me,” Gabriel rode over his protestations, watching Sam’s mouth open on a gasp of arousal as he twisted his wrist. “Gonna wait until you’re had and leaking and begging for me. Then I’m gonna get up and sit right down on your cock.” Sam gasped, and Gabriel grinned, bending down to rub his scent over Sam’s chest, biting gently on a nipple to pull another delicious gasp out of him. “It’s gonna be so tight, Sam, so tight and hot. You’re gonna be so fuking big inside me, fuck you’re huge, and I wanna feel every inch of you.”

Sam tossed his head to the side, whimpered, and Gabriel couldn’t resist the invitation. He lunged up to mouth at the taught lines of his neck. Sam writhed underneath him. Gabriel leaned back a little, and he knew his pupils were blown too with his own arousal. Shit, but he was having to hold himself back, Sam was just perfect. He was getting close. He slipped his hand past Sam’s waistband, closing his hand around the heat of him, pressing his thumb gently against his slit to make him shudder. “I’m gonna ride you until you come, just like this. Come on, Sammy, come for me. Let me hear you.”

“Gabriel!” Sam gasped. His eyes flew open, his mouth dropping open as his body tensed and he came.

Gabriel worked him through it, waited until the shudders died down into exhausted limpness before he pressed a kiss to Sam’s chest and got up to get a washcloth. He slipped into the kitchen on his way, snagging water and snacks. Thank father that Dean and Cas weren’t awake to see him scuttling naked through the corridors.

When he got back, Sam was tucked back under the blankets, making the most miserable whines Gabriel had ever heard.

“Sam? What’s wrong?”

Gabriel threw himself back into bed, instantly forgetting about the cloth, checking Sam all over. Nothing seemed to be

“You left me,” Sam muttered, genuine hurt and anxiety in his voice.

“Just went to get a washcloth, sweetheart.”

“I know,” Sam muttered, embarrassed. Oh, of course. Heat. Every one of Sam’s instincts were telling him that the alpha that had just knotted him had just upped and left. No wonder he wasn’t pleased.

“Back now, I promise. I’m not leaving.” Gabriel rolled them both so he was on top again. He felt Sam melt into the mattress under him, his eyes fluttering closed.

“S’good… thank you, Gabe… what about…?”

Gabriel smiled, capturing his wandering hands. “Don’t worry about me. Maybe another time, yeah?”

“M’kay. You’re such a good alpha…”

Before Gabriel could do anything more than blush at that, Sam’s mouth fell open. A quiet snore escaped him. A purr resonated deep under Gabriel’s hands as Sam settled into sleep, utterly relaxed.

Gabriel chuckled quietly, settling down to sleep as well. If it was always going to be like this, he didn’t think he minded heats.

#sabrielweek2019 #my fic #sabriel #lemon #a/b/o dynamics

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trickster-archangel · 5 years

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Gratitude

Ok I don’t really know where this post will end up to.

But some days ago I read something, and after thinking throughly about it, I assume I have to do something to thank people I don’t even know, but who gave me so many good fellings and emotions.

I’m talking about SPN fanfiction writers.

Yes you.

This dork may also have written you a message, just to let you know how muche I appreciated the time I spent reading your works.

But I think this is just not enough: so, like I read on that post, I’m openly thanking, praising, and making the few people who follow me, know about your work.

Because we live for what you can give us with your skills and feelings and thoughts.

Because you build up whole worlds out of your sheer souls.

And you just deepen SPN Universe.

Thank you.

Side note: I appreciate fluff, and angst, and also *well-written* smut.

But mostly I LOVE a real plot, a mainly canon plot, and IC characters...just to have even more of what I DON’T see on the real show....JFYI. So this is my personal taste list:

1) first one I stumbled upon while searching for good Sabriel ff...dude! I’m in love with the story AND the fanart...maybe not so much IC but who knows...we didn’t really see Sammy and Gabe interact like this. And the smooth touches both over Destiel and Sabriel, the real relationship building up first inside their souls, and then together...So this is first love:

https://archiveofourown.org/series/430303

The Borrowed Finery series by @vanishingactblog

2) a masterpiece from @rosaleenban: https://archiveofourown.org/series/497272

The Risen Angels Verse series....which I call “how it should have gone”. Last one discovered and just read twice. In a day. Both parts. This is amazing. The perfect depiction of the subtle hints of Sam and Gabe twiching of feelings...the fear, the longing, hidden under the “I-don’t-really-care-it’s-nothing-important” mask.

I only hope that if she gets enough visits, comments and kudos, we will see the ending also of the 2nd part.

3) I must admit it....after starting the #BringHimBackAlive project, I think this is my softer spot...

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15418143

Prodigal Son by @astralgabriel - which I call “I’m-sure-this-actually-is-what-is-going-on-but-we-will-not-see-it-until-season-15-right??-riiiiiighhhhttttt??!”

Just please, keep going: we deserve it, even if now we have seen what happened to AU!Michael...we just need Gabe back like this. And you promised Sabriel *wink wink*

Seriously....all that angst. And those beautiful strokes on Gabe’s inside..

4) mainly Destiel. But it’s glorious. Just the idea. Just....read it. I cannot comment without spoiling. The B/W graphic...I just picture it as a black and white story.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17126039 by @winchester-reload

Just READ it.

This is for the long FF, just like real arc stories.

Then, those one shots or almost, that just hit me in the guts leaving me WOWED.

- Bear by @archangelgabriellives

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17746601/chapters/41872043G

We need you to keep writing this...you know we need! moreover....I guess you just hit the right spot with that idea....

- also from @archangelgabriellives Nightmares

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15925394

Perfect. We never have enough of Gabe trying to cope with his post Asmodeus trauma, they really didn’t understand, apart from Sammy, how much love and care he really needed behind his bravery facade. Thank you dear.

- time for fun....Shipping it like the Titanic

YOU MUST READ IT. I think this would just fit perfectly into an episode....

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17922530 by @scrollingkingfisher (btw on the blog you’ll find the latest update, not even on ao3...)

I’m still rolling....and their depiction is so accurate....

- found yesterday, and I’m screaming PERFECTION.

I want Gabe to come back like this (I know I won’t, you cowards SPN writers....)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17492606

Hey Sam, It's Me by Shippertrashbag - dunno if there’s a blog on tumblr...

- last but not least: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15064802

Stay the Night? by @warlockwriter.

I’m still reading Out of Hell Leads Up To Light so I can’t still review the long one...but you can definitely start it ;)

Thank you to all of you, emotions crafters <3

#sabriel #gabexsam #gabriel the archangel #sam winchester #fanfic #spn fanfic #thank you #destiel

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sociallyanxiousreader · 5 years

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Alright motherfathers here's the sitch

The whole point of this blog is to share works that I think are amazing without actually leaving individual reviews because I am one anxiety-ridden mofo. But I'm feeling particularly ballsy tonight so Imma tell ya somethin:

If you are a Supernatural fan who loves Gabriel, Sabriel, whump, angst, hurt/comfort, season 13 content and DENYING what happened in Exodus and HATES THAT KENTUCKY FRIED MOTHERFOCKER as much as I do then check out @unityghost 's Post-Asmodeus Sabriel Feels series, she's a freaking amazing writer and gives us the content we should've gotten on the show.

She's on tumblr and Ao3 so check her out (and watch the tags cuz it gets deep but I love that about the series) and my anxiety is kicking in so adios bitches, hope you enjoy.

#spn #supernatural #ahhhhhhhhhg #sabriel #sam winchester #gabriel #heksh che 9dbsksshsk

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unityghost · 1 year

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Applied Knowledge

Some more Post-Asmodeus Sabriel Feels content (part 31) for those who are still inclined to read, even if Supernatural is over. I’ll have to find a way to organize and tag this stuff on here; Archive of Our Own has it all organized chronologically. Thanks if you’ve stuck around up until this point! I don’t plan on stopping any time soon.

Logic told Gabriel that there was no reason to expect a linear recovery, and yet he found himself expecting it to work that way no matter the dictates of rational thinking.

The relationship between his near-humanity and his somewhat-angelness was a constant source of confusion to Gabriel - and everybody around him - but it seemed that Sam had recently come to the conclusion that a working knowledge of human biology might be helpful in the short term.

“When you breathe in,” he explained, “It activates the sympathetic nervous system. Gets your adrenaline going a little. So - ”

“I have no sympathy for my nervous system,” Gabriel interjected.

“ - the important part,” Sam went on, ignoring the comment he’d probably expected, “Is to focus on your exhalation, which initiates something different - other hormones - to calm you down. So it’s best to take that nice and slow. That's your parasympathetic nervous system.”

“Activate parachute, got it. Free-falling becomes smooth coasting through a cloudless summer sky.”

“If that’s what helps you remember it,” said Sam, “Then yes, Gabriel. Pull open the parachute.”

“Listen," Gabriel told him, "I’m pretty sure we’ve talked about deep breathing before, and I suck at it.”

“I thought it might help to get more specific about what happens when you do it, so that you know why it’s helpful. It helped me to learn about that. A lot happens to the human body when it gets like …” He gestured vaguely to what was in front of him: Gabriel, still trembling from the taste of a nightmare at the back of his throat as sweat coursed down his neck and both fists spontaneously clenched and unclenched against the tangled blankets. “This.”

“Well, it’s a good thing I don’t have a human body, then,” Gabriel replied. “Otherwise I might be a mess.”

Sam tried to smile. “Do you - ”

“No. No, I don’t really want to talk about it. I’m sorry for getting you out of bed. It’s just that I thought - ” Gabriel shook his head and looked down at the bedcovers clutched between his fingers. “I was so freakin’ tired when I fell asleep that I was dreaming about being tired, Sam. Kept trying to get up off the floor of that cell and find you, but Asmodeus wouldn’t let me, and I was too exhausted to pull myself to my feet.”

Sam nodded. Perhaps there was more physiology to be expounded upon with regard to the liminal space before waking waking, the crack in between that allowed for bewildered shouts for assistance, but Sam was tactful enough to withhold any further lectures.

“So I thought,” Gabriel continued, determined to complete his explanation, “That Asmodeus was in the room. I really did.”

He looked around. He couldn’t help it. He knew it was foolish, but it seemed even more foolish not to check.

Sam frowned at him.

“I was admiring the architecture,” Gabriel offered. “I’ve grown excruciatingly fond of this glamorized speakeasy you call a home.”

“Okay. I guess that's ... good. You want anything? Water, maybe?”

Gabriel turned his gaze downward again, debating whether to ask Sam to shift his weight so that Gabriel could properly pull the covers over himself. He decided against it: if he asked Sam to move, Sam might either take offense or understand the request to mean “leave and shut the door behind you.”

“Christmas crackers!” Gabriel hissed, pounding a fist against his own knee.

Sam looked horrified. “What are you doing? Gabriel, what's wrong?"

“I - ” Gabriel tried to remember what Sam had said about breathing - parachutes, right - and tried to exhale, then realized he couldn’t exhale without first exciting himself by inhaling, and came to the conclusion that the entire process was a self-defeating hoax. “I understand exactly what’s going on.”

“What? Going on with what?” When Gabriel didn’t answer, Sam pressed: “Has something been hurting, and you just figured it out, or - ”

“Geez, you really are in doctor mode tonight, aren’t you? I meant I know that I’m not in danger.”

Sam furrowed his brow. "Is that not good?"

“What isn’t good is that I’ve known that for months now!”

“I’m still not - ”

“What use is there in trying to convince myself that Asmodeus is gone when I still feel like he’s next to me or waiting for me or on top of me or - I’m starting to wonder if it’s worth the amount of effort I put into it every day!”

“I don’t think it’s that weird that you’d have a hard time finding common ground between what you know and what you feel,” said Sam.

“I didn’t say it was weird. I said it was pointless. Unless maybe I’m not trying hard enough; but man - I’ve been giving this everything I have in me.”

“It really hasn’t been that long, you know,” Sam reminded him. “You were in Hell for a lot longer than you’ve been with us.”

“So it’s going to take another truckload of centuries to bridge the gaping maw between what you’ve taught me and what he did to me?”

Sam spoke carefully. “I didn’t mean that. I was just trying to say that if you really want to focus on being rational, you’ve gotta factor in that imbalance. The time you spent in prison versus the time you’d had without Asmodeus manhandling you - that’s not a fair fight, so try not to be so rough on yourself about it.”

“Except,” Gabriel pointed out, feeling his chest tighten against Sam's audacious refusal to acknowledge Gabriel’s failure, “There was no gap when I had him breathing down my neck. I knew I was in danger and I felt that way, too. It wasn’t unreasonable to be cowering on the floor. Things are different now - I know there’s nothing to be afraid of, but my whole alarm system has short-circuited.”

“Yeah,” said Sam. “That’s usually how it works.”

Gabriel clenched his jaw and mangled the sheets in his fists again. “This isn’t funny.”

“What? Of course not. I know that.”

“Then stop talking to me like I’m a cute idiot, Sam. I don’t care how typical any of my behavior is; I want it to stop and you’re hearing something completely different. Just because you’ve got the knowledge and wisdom to smile and nod like I’m learning to walk for the first time - ‘Oh, look at this; it’s okay, we know he’ll stop falling even if he doesn’t know that yet’ - doesn’t make this any less exhausting for me.”

Sam looked bewildered. “I wasn’t laughing at you. I was trying to help. To remind you that - ”

“Shut up, okay? I know. I know. And that’s what makes it so difficult.”

“I just thought it might help you to know you’re not out of the ordinary for feeling the way you do - you know? I figure it’d only make me feel worse if I thought I was the only person to get stuck in the middle of what I knew was true and what I felt was real. I feel that way all the time. I’m not trying to preach to you. Or laugh at you. Why would I do that? I’m hardly in a position to brag about healthy recovery, am I?”

“Now you’re pleading!” Gabriel snapped. “I don’t want to feel like I hurt your feelings in addition to everything else!”

“Look,” Sam pleaded, because he was guilty of exactly that, “You and I are on a level playing field.”

“It sounds like you think you’re better than me.”

“Why would you even - I don’t think that at all, Gabriel.”

Gabriel pounded his knees again, thinking about the nightmare still sitting inside of him, exactly as real as the pain that resulted from hitting himself. “Well, you are, so maybe I shouldn't bitch about it.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Sam reached out and caught Gabriel’s fist before he could repeat the childish self-beating, the goal of which Gabriel felt might become clearer with each blow. “I wasn’t trying to prove anything. Maybe I said it the wrong way, but I really, really, truly, honestly meant that it’s normal to feel stuck like this. To know what’s the matter with you, to know what’s real, and to feel something totally opposite. I feel that way every day, Gabriel. And I definitely wasn’t trying to make light of it. If it came across that way then I’m sorry. I really am.”

“Oh, don’t be.” Gabriel tried to extricate his fist and Sam let him go. He thought about hitting himself again, but it seemed ungracious after Sam had made the choice to trust him with his own hands.

Sam’s voice softened. “Listen, Gabriel: you really need to sleep. I think that’s part of what’s got you so on edge.”

Gabriel almost said, Oh, is the baby getting cranky again? Let’s put him down for his nap but instead replied, “Or maybe it’s the quality of the sleep itself. I mean, if nightmares were the only issue, that’d make sense - I could figure that out. Maybe. But it’s the fact that my whole body is just flooded with the stuff.”

“That ... um ... feeling you get?” Sam asked.

Gabriel understood his hesitance, knew that Sam had never been able to comprehend what this “feeling” was - but perhaps that was simply due to Gabriel’s ineloquence. He had used adjectives like “dark” and “warped” to describe the tang that this feeling cast upon the world, had tried to articulate the deeply visceral flavor of ethereal horror that wrenched him out of the present and cradled him in the greasy jaws of memory.

Words, however, could not give shape to this feeling, even when Gabriel drew upon all his lifetimes of speech and his countless languages to try and force the feeling's essence into description. Yet it could not be coerced into the confines of vocabulary; it could only be felt, and only disgorged in the small horrible ways with which his near-mortal body was familiar: sweating; trembling; desperate, incessant vomiting when the terror would not abate.

In fact, Gabriel was convinced that this dark, otherworldly sensation probably was suggestive of neurosis unique to him. After all, Sam had never assured him of its normalcy. Maybe it was particular to angels, although he wasn’t sure he wanted to question Castiel about it. More likely, it was a symptom of the grotesque wrongness that had metastasized in Gabriel the moment Asmodeus first laid hands on him.

“Hey.” Sam touched his arm. “You all right?”

“Yes,” Gabriel answered hoarsely. “But that isn’t how I feel.”

“Nightmare still on your mind?”

“No. I … I don’t know.” Gabriel licked his lips. “Maybe I don’t really understand as much as I like to believe I do. Sam - ” He tried to meet Sam’s eyes but Sam was still clutching his arm. He didn’t mind if Sam touched him, or if Sam wanted to make eye contact, but in general Gabriel wasn’t willing to do both at the same time. “You don’t think I’m disgusting, right?”

“What? No. Of course not.”

“Okay, but I do. I think that I’m disgusting, and I also feel like I’m disgusting. Like - in the way that maggots crawling over a decomposing body is disgusting. It’s not the corpse’s fault for rotting and it’s not the bugs’ fault that they feed on it. It’s just disgusting for what it is.”

Sam recoiled, and Gabriel jerked his head up. I was right.

Sam’s features had taken on the flush of anger. “I don’t like that at all.”

“Neither do I! What, you think I was just spouting a poetic monologue? It’s what I see, Sam. It’s what I feel.”

“But that’s just … Jesus. You’re not like that. That’s a horrible thing to say about yourself.”

“Then I’m sorry I said it! Look, you’re proving my point!”

“That’s just such a - look - ” Sam closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

“Pull the parachute, Sam,” said Gabriel, trying to ignore how fast his heart was pounding in response to the irritation in Sam’s face.

Sam opened his eyes. “Gabriel, I know you feel like you’re tainted or - or just bad, or whatever, but I hate to hear you talk about yourself like that.”

“Well, how am I supposed to believe it isn’t true? Based on what happened to me in Hell, I’m probably not that far off.”

“You are, though.”

“I’m not, though.”

Sam stood up.

Gabriel scrambled backward, slamming into the wall and toppling the pillow from the lip of the mattress to the floor. He had a split second’s regret - I could have used that for protection - and then several moments of quiet waiting, moments in which he was not sure what he did, moments in which he heard nothing and saw only darkness.

Then he heard his name, repeated gently over and over; he remembered where he was, and realized - with a spasm of humiliation - that what had felt like minutes probably had not been more than a few seconds. Both arms were thrown over his head as a makeshift shield - a fortress that had never proven effective against his attackers.

With arthritic slowness, Gabriel unfolded himself.

“It’s okay,” Sam whispered. “It’s okay. There we go. It’s okay. It’s all right, Gabriel; it’s all right.”

Gabriel nodded. He did not look at Sam.

Sam held out a hand, uncertain. “I’m sorry. I got a little - ”

“It’s fine.” But Gabriel was suddenly overtaken by such a violent urge to cry that he lay back down, bereft of the pillow, and turned away. “I just - ”

Sam waited.

“I forgot to activate my parachute,” Gabriel finished, and crushed his teeth together against a sob that jerked out of him like a seizure.

“Ah - ” Sam sounded shocked and unsure. “Oh man. I’m sorry.”

Gabriel knew that he was. It would only serve to make Sam feel worse if Gabriel were to vocally lament that he was terrified of giving voice to his deepest despair lest Sam lash out. Even if it was due to helplessness or to fury toward Asmodeus, Gabriel couldn’t handle that level of fire in Sam.

"Here, let's just - let me, um - " Sam tucked the blankets around Gabriel's shoulders, taking caution not to actually touch him. Gabriel had come to suspect that Sam felt most at ease in conveying affection, remorse, and protectiveness through some sort of physical contact. Gabriel often made this challenging for Sam. In fact, he reflected as he felt Sam draw away, why should he feel entitled to refuse Sam the small comfort of touching him when Gabriel was the one at fault for misinterpreting a benign gesture of frustration - especially given that the gesture was in response to Gabriel’s complaining about his poor self-image?

“Listen,” Sam said quietly. “Listen, Gabe - I won’t leave, but I’m gonna give you a couple minutes to calm down. I’m here, but I’m not going to hurt you, Gabriel.”

In the aftermath of the imagined assault, Gabriel was shaking. He listened to his own ragged breathing as he would have listened to a familiar much-hated song that played only because he was too unintelligent to find the appropriate dial to turn it off, while somebody else was forced to pretend it didn’t grate on their nerves and politely wait for the closing notes.

After a few moments, the surge of fear began to soften and the bedroom grew more solid to him. He debated the benefits and disadvantages of trying to halt his tears. Ultimately, he decided, it wasn’t a question of positives and negatives: there was simply not much use in pretending that Sam would have judged him after seeing it happen so often. The impulse to stoicism was there, as it always was - a costume with no remaining elasticity.

“I know,” Gabriel muttered into the damp sheet.

“Huh?”

He turned over, looking up at Sam. “I know that you’re not gonna do anything to try and mess with me. I really - I do. I know that.”

“That’s good.”

“If I could show you as much, I would. Instead you’ve got me whining about my self-indulgent hatred of - ” But Gabriel stopped, afraid to annoy Sam with additional descriptions of (as he’d considered saying) “this cosmic garbage that’s only ever been good for playtime in Hell.”

"That's all right," said Sam, although he looked pale and haunted. "Don't worry about it, Gabriel. Really. Just take it easy."

“You can touch me,” Gabriel offered. “If you - I’m sorry.”

Sam shook his head. “You don’t gotta make anything up to me, Gabriel.”

“I don’t want to get in trouble.” Gabriel gave a tight, nervous laugh. “If you want to, you can.”

“No. No, it's okay. Wait - if I say no, are you going to take that to mean I just think you’re gross?”

“I'm not sure."

“All right. Okay. Well, what do you want?” When Gabriel tensed - he loathed the question, abhorred the word - Sam corrected himself: “What do you need right now?”

“I’m not sure," Gabriel repeated. "I just know I’m sorry for freaking out.”

“Come on, you didn’t do anything wrong. Look, you know me pretty well, I think - and - well, hearing stuff like that can be rough because I want to change it. That’s all. It’s not your fault Asmodeus was such a piece of work.”

“I need to be more careful.” Gabriel smiled, fitfully, feeling delusional and uneven. He didn’t know whether he wanted to come across as serious. “One of these days you might actually get real pissed off. And whatever happens, I’ll have to take responsibility for not being able to control myself.”

Sam’s eye twitched. “Don’t say things like that.”

“Fine. I won’t. I’ll think them, but I won’t say them.” Gabriel was beginning to wonder if he was being difficult on purpose. “I don’t want to upset you; I don’t want to make you angry at anyone; I don’t want to make you sad when I’m afraid of you.”

“Stop.” Helplessly, Sam reached out and grabbed his hand. “You can say whatever you like, Gabriel. I just wish I could help.”

“Hey, you are helping. Like I mentioned, I at least know where I am. I know I’m not actually in danger.”

Sam gave a tired smile. “That isn’t what you just said.”

“Well - then I’m not sure what’s wrong with me. There are things I do know, and things I should know. Maybe I’ve actually lost my whole-ass mind. I believe you, I think. I believe you don’t want to hurt me. I just don’t - I guess I figure that might change.”

“But why?”

“Why wouldn’t it?”

“Because it’s me, Gabriel. It's Sam. It's not Asmodeus.”

"Yes! And yet here we are!"

Sam gripped his hand more firmly. “But that’s okay.”

“It really isn’t. I need to be able to connect the dots better. For my sake, maybe, but for yours too. I need to understand things better. I need to be able to apply what I learn. Looks like I’m screwing up both parts of that process.”

“You need more time. Maybe a lot more time.”

“I’ve had time!"

“Some. Like I said, you had a whole lot more time with him than you’ve had with any of us.”

“I just - ah - I - ” Gabriel wiped his eyes. “I’d just really like it to stop. I could do without the nightmares and without being scared of you or anyone else. And without feeling like a diseased animal stinking up the place. I hate it. I want it to end. I’m confused about what to believe and what to feel and how to act. I don’t want to hurt you and I don’t want you to hurt me but I - but I’m this thing, this nauseating, awful thing that he - that - and I can’t keep doing this because it’s too much for me. I can’t handle it. I can’t handle knowing it’ll probably take another eon before I’m not running away from you, and by then you won’t even be here. And I can’t handle thinking about that, either. I just want it to stop. All of it. I can’t do this." He shivered and tried to remember to breathe.

"I know," Sam murmured. "It's okay. I get it. But you're gonna be okay. I'm here."

"You - " Gabriel shuddered again, feeling sick and exhausted and still plagued by the grotesque haze of nightmares. "You can touch me."

Sam squeezed his hand.

“No,” Gabriel said, “I mean - ”

Sam eased him closer, into a gentle hug that felt undeserved but not frightening.

Gabriel took a deep breath, came close to making a remark about parachutes, and decided he had better not speak.

Since escaping, Gabriel had had instances in which he'd seriously doubted his own intellect. Surely he had simply not been clever enough to break free from Asmodeus; surely only a truly dimwitted being would have gotten so lost in the post-infernal labyrinth between knowledge and experience.

Despite this uncertainty, he didn't believe that he was stupid enough to miss what seemed obvious: the safety he felt in an embrace like this was instinctual. Perhaps it was a rudimentary form of applied knowledge. At least in this moment, there was no need to berate himself into common sense - not when the privilege of a warm embrace, however unmerited, felt quite different from anything else.

#supernatural #fanfiction #sabriel #sam/gabriel #platonic #ptsd #post-traumatic stress disorder #post-asmodeus sabriel feels #pasf #fanfic #spn fanfic #hurt/comfort #angst

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