#OUR DADS ARE COMING BACK

[bet-on-me-13]

Trigons Backup Plan

So! Trigon knew from the moment his Daughter was taken in by the Monks of Azarath that it would be difficult to turn her to his will. He wasn't stupid, he knew just how hard it would be to make his daughter turn on everything she has ever known in her (very short) life.

He can't really blame her, even he believed that indiscriminate mass murder was wrong until his mid-200's, he just needs to wait for her to grow out of it.

But until then he still needs a way into the DC Universe. And if his daughter wouldn't help, then he could always just make a 2nd one.

So, he searches and eventually finds a Couple of Scientists who seem to be good targets. They are researching Magic and Ghosts, so he makes a Demonic Pact with them. He will give them the secrets needed to complete their Research, and in exchange all he asks is that they help him bare a child.

They agree, and Danny Fenton is born.

Danny was supposed to become a Hellmouth when he turned 16, unlocking his Demonic Powers and opening the way for Trigon to enter the DC Universe so he could conquer it.

Instead he managed to get himself killed at 14. Then he managed to come back to life as a Halfa, he got himself adopted by Clockwork, and he usurped the Throne of the Infinite Realms in the span of 1 year, therefore putting himself on the same level as his Father on the cosmic scale.

So there goes his Backup Plan.

Dammit.

...

Meanwhile Raven is panicking. She had been messing around with her Friends when they asked about the Spells she could do, and she off-handedly mentioned that she could cast Family Tracking Spells.

One thing led to another, and they all wanted to know if they had secret family. Then they asked if she wanted to try as well, and for some reason she agreed.

And long story short, she has a little brother somehow. A little brother who is only a few weeks away from turning 16, who doesn't know the Azarathian Spells she learned to prevent his own transformation into a Hellmouth.

Oh shit...

#Dpxdc #Dp x dc #Dcxdp #Dc x dp #Danny Phantom #Dc #Dcu #Trigon #Raven #Rachel Roth #Trigon knew that Raven would probably reject him #So he had a 2nd child in secret #Danny was supposed to unlock his powers and let Trigon into their dimension at 16 #But even Demon's aren't immune to Fenton Luck and he ended up dying and coming back as a Halfa #And not only that he overthrew Pariah Dark #Meaning Trigon can't even use him as a Portal anymore #Raven wants to find her little brother to save him #She doesn't know that the problem is solved already #Neither does Danny #“Hey mom and dad who is that Demon looking guy in our old family photos?” #“Oh that's just your Demon Dad! He gave us knowledge in exchange for a chance to have a son! And that's you!” #“What!?” #“If that's surprising just wait till you see Jazz's secret Parent!”

[shu-box-puns]

I've got this image of Dad!Tsu’tey from my Father-son-shenanigans AU turning up in ATWOW during the aftermath of the SeaDragon, specifically on that one rock. And he has no idea how he ended up there, but whilst Jake and Neytiri are quaking at the sudden appearance of their dead friend (visibly aged from the joys of fatherhood), Spider pops out of the ocean.

Naturally, Tsu'tey only has eyes for his son, and immediately gets launched head first into Protective!Dad mode at the state of him. He looks like a drowned rat, has several sluggishly bleeding cuts along his body, his stripes are faded more than his Spider ever allows. Not to mention, his dreads are matted at the scalp and are in desperate need of a retwist. But most alarming of all, none of his other family members (The Sully's) seem to remember to check on him in their shock of discovering Tsu'tey's presence.

Since no one else seems to be bothering, Tsu'tey helps Spider out of the water, noting the shock on the boy's face as he hesitantly takes Tsu'tey's outstretched hand.

<"Are you okay?"> Tsu'tey asks, as he has done for countless years. And horrifyingly, instead of Spider replying with "yes Dad," or "no Dad" Tsu'tey gets a-

<"Yes sir.">

Spider has never referred to Tsu'tey as 'sir' before. It's either 'Olo'eyktan' when he's in a mood and wants to get under Tsu'tey's skin, or 'Dad'.

<"Sir?"> Tsu'tey repeats with a curl of his nose. <"Who the hell is sir? I am Dad to you. I have always been Dad to you."> And of course, Tsu'tey is dead in this universe, and Spider has no clue who this strange forest na'vi is. Not to mention he's had a very long and emotional day surrounding another father figure.

<"Dude, I have no idea who you are.">

Cue:

Tsu'tey from my Dad!Tsu'tey AU looking at Spider in our ATWOW: "Watch out kid because you're about to get the strongest and most stable support system any clan has ever seen."

BONUS:

If Spider were to admit to Tsu'tey that Quaritch is alive (he's only known the man for an hour but Eywa does he trust him to keep Neytiri from mauling him):

Side Note: Tsu'tey has it all under control, and now has recruited Neytiri to go hunt down that dead beat dad.

#I feel like he would just be really sad to see himself dead in this universe and realise that Spider had no one because of it #our Spider would be so confused #Tsu'tey is a good Dad #happy to give him his space when he needs it #content to cook for him and ask about his day #scarily protective when Spider is in even a lick of danger #it's nice to have a father figure turn up after sixteen years and it not be awkward #meanwhile Neytiri and Jake are having emotional breakdowns because thier dead friend is just THERE #Only for Tsu'tey to immediately start chewing them out for neglecting HIS son #cue confusion and chaos the entire ilu ride back to the villagr #dad tsu'tey #he'd come around of course #dad!tsu'tey #son!Spider #Spider Socorro #Father-son-duo #Father-Son-Shenanigans #jake and neytiri #atwow #fix-it #Neteyam is fine #he's just resting

[tomfrogisblue]

I personally love cc!Phil's approach to lore.

When it's for Chay or Lula, he's completely serious, looking after them and helping them through their trauma and insecurities.

For everyone else's lore, he'll be serious for them and gently make fun when it's appropriate.

BUT WHEN IT'S HIS LORE, he'll say some shit that he KNOWS will make the chat cry, then he'll mute the qsmp mic and laugh so hard that he dissappears from frame!!

#phils the fucking best #such a good egg dad #but HE IS A BITCH WHEN IT COMES TO US POOR CROWS #lmao gotta love old crow man #qsmp #qsmp lore #qsmp philza #philza #like he'll be serious for his planned out lore but then for the rest of time he'll reference back to it and laugh at our tears #I WONDER WHERE TALLULAH GOT HER TALENT FOR ANGST HMMMMMMMMMM

[manygreetingsfriend]

i’m sooooooo normal about the god of war series. so incredibly normal i liked it a normal amount and would be so chill talking about it. don’t worry about the sign

#god of war #i’m so so so so so normal about it it’s so whatever it’s so haha you know #something something when it comes to yourself you’ll let yourself drown before you change. you’ll die before you change who you’ve become #to survive this long #up to and until it affects the ones you’ve come to love in this life you’ve made for yourself and you suddenly have no choice but to change #it’s fine it’s ok it’s chill. everyone does this. #it’s becoming a parent and loving your child so much you HAVE to change. you HAVE to be better #we MUST be better. than they were. #who’s they. our parents. the gods that come before us. yes. #i’m screaming i’m crying i’m wasting away im disintegrating. there’s no coming back there no return #you are on your knees. you are gripping your son’s shoulders like they’re the only thing keeping you tethered to the earth. #you are struggling with who you are and who you want to become. you are promising to be better. #i’m so normal about parent(al figures) taking responsibility for their actions and choosing to do better #i’m not high enough to really express what’s going on here. can you feel it? can you fucking feel it? #this series has destroyed me. #dad of boy. dad(s) of boy. i will never be the same (affectionate) #can’t remember the last time i finished a series and went ‘oh well i’ve GOT to play it again Now That I Know’ #AND I HAVENT EVEN TALKED ABOUT THE BROTHER HULDRA!!!!!!!!! #sindri’s face. has not left my memory #i’m dying scoob #gow #gowr

[hancocksleftnut]

Some Charon Head Cannons I Finally have the Balls to Share:

He was a US Green Beret captured in Anchorage by Chinese and Russian Special Forces in 2076, 11 months before the Great War and had many experiments done on him while a POW.

He was deployed at 28, one of the youngest in his squad. Charon was born in Pennsylvania and came from a military background, later joining the US Army at 19, soon after the USA announced war against the Republic of China.

In the end, he would be the only survivor from his squad, all others having been executed or dying from the Dachau-Level experiments.

As tensions around the world heightened, the US government burned all records of him and his squadron, considering them casualties of war.

As a POW (Prisoner of War) his physical stature, mental fortitude, and expert combat training made him a candidate for a “Reprograming Operation” by the Russian KGB where he was the only successful test subject.

After months of brainwashing he was finally assigned to a KGB Spy who was planted in the US government, where he was designed to assassinate and perform other reconnaissance operations.

However, the Great War broke out mere months after he was “assigned” and his contract made many unfortunate passes before reaching the Lone Wanderers.

Charon’s previous employers all had dark, ulterior motives that mainly used him as a deviant errand boy. When he becomes employed by the LW, he almost feels at peace. Though he will forever live with PTSD, he is able to put his guard down in certain circumstances, giving him small glimpses of joy and happiness again.

Until he becomes to care too much, and becomes over protective. The LW unknowingly reminds him of his pre-war life. When there was still hope and a dream of change. He doesn’t know why, but he clings to their selflessness. He watches people abuse the LW’s kindness, and then get stuck in a cycle of people pleasing because they are the Wastelands Last Hope.

#so imma just come back from the dead on this shit cause my love for this ghoul baby man will never die #also I come from a heavy military background so that’s kinda why this is my head cannon. my dad was 82nd airborne and we both played FO3 #we even took a weekend trip to travel all the places in DC as the game #anyways lol #I love Charon so much and even though I hate how vague they wrote him #I love we can use our own imagination #tell me what yall think!!! I love to talk about my big. baby man #Charon #charon fallout #ghouls #fallout headcanons #fallout companions #fallout ghoul #lone wanderer #fallout #fallout 3 #Charon headcannons #also this is written from my OC: Lone Wander Laila’s perspective #a 19 year old girl with BPD and tries to act like a bad ass but it just a mere worm #charon x lone wanderer

[bubblegyu00]

sigh.... i miss my man.... 🙁

#bubblegyu00 #wumuti #WUMUTITITI #come back wumuti the kids miss you bae #ily pls come back our son needs his dad

[redrobin-detective]

You better learn it fast, you better learn it young 'cause someday never comes

Father was coming. Months and months of waiting for him to reach out and, finally, Father was coming home. It wouldn't be to stay, no, he had his own life outside of the ice. As much as Ice Thing who had once been Gunter and before that Orgalorg missed him, they knew father had earned his flesh and freedom back. The crown had been Father's prison but it was Ice Thing's bright new future. Once upon a time, they would have never been satisfied with this; paltry powers and a minor kingdom but Father's influence had shown them the beauty of a simple life.

"Come on everyone, Father and the others will be here any minute and I want this place spotless," Ice Thing announced, clapping their way through the hoard of penguins careful not to jostle them. They were the master now but Ice Thing would always be one of them.

"Wenk," Guntilla said, flapping her fins.

"No, he's just visiting and if we want him to visit again everything needs to be perfect," Ice Thing explained impatiently.

"Wenk, wenk," Goonder noted bitterly.

"Don't talk about him like that, he may look and act different but he's still our father. I expect all of you to be on your best behavior or we'll have no snacks or cuddles tonight and that's a promise," the rest of the penguins wenked in dismay and hastily went back to cleaning the Ice Palace. They were just putting the final touches on the charcuterie board when there was a knock at the door.

"Oh they're here!" Ice Thing exclaimed, "Gonther, Ginty, open the door and let our guests in." They stood in the entryway holding the ice board of snacks when the group shuffled in. Big sister Marceline - elder only in years as Father's child and not in age- and younger brother Finn were there followed by friend Jake. The Candy Princess was absent, Ice Thing was neither surprised or unsurprised given her bad history at this palace. Father was hanging towards the back of the group, looking shyly around the place. He had on an obnoxiously big coat with his hands stuffed under his armpits. He was using the coat more as a shield than out of any desire for warmth.

"Welcome! Welcome!" Ice Thing exclaimed, shoving the ice tray into Jake's hands so they could shake everyone's hands. "I was delighted to get your message; I'm so happy you guys could come. Please stay as long as you like, here have some snacks, have anything you want. The fruit of the Ice Kingdom is yours for the picking!"

"Thank you for having us," Father said quietly. His mouth quirked up into a little smile as some of the penguins waddled up to him and flapped at his knees. "And hello there, how have you all been?"

"Wenk," Gunder elaborated. Father blinked in confusion at the various chirpings. Ice Thing had worried Father would lose his affinity for Penguinese along with, well, everything else. The others would be so disappointed but they'd deal with that particular heartbreak later.

"He says he's better now that you're home," Ice Thing translated before hastily continuing when they saw father's grim expression. "Of course I've explained that this is just a visit." They reinforced to the penguins still mobbing Father. "Father doesn't live here anymore, he has his own home to return to. He's here to collect his things from the Past Room, remember?"

"Father?" Marceline muttered under her breath with a guarded look.

"I mean it makes sense, Simon or wait I guess he was Ice King back then was always babying these guys and calling himself Daddy and stuff sooooo," Jake continued. He opened his jaw wide and ate the entire charcuterie board, ice tray included. "So I guess you don't speak penguin anymore, huh?"

"I guess not," Father said, hands awkwardly hovering over the heads of his penguins, children who had not seen him for months on end and demanded attention. Some begged for forgiveness for whatever kept him away from home. Some screamed at his absence, at his change. Some wept, believing he no longer loved them. Father, ignorant to their chittering, looked up at Ice Thing with poorly disguised anxiety.

"Gunter," Ice Thing said to his second in command. "Please show our guests to the Past Room so they can get stared. Ice boxes are all set for you down there. I'll let Father take what he needs from his bedroom and he'll join you downstairs soon."

"Why the rush? I think we should all go together?" Marceline frowned. They didn't know what she was jealous of when Father clearly favored her best.

"Marcy, come on, let them have some alone time. I think they got some Daddy-Alien Penguin Child stuff to sort through," Finn loudly whispered which everyone heard. Father's tanned cheeks turned an embarrassed red but said nothing. "Alright Gunter 2, lead the way!" He spun around to follow after the penguin and the others followed leaving Ice Thing alone with his father. They'd missed him terribly but now that he was here, they had no idea what to say.

"Your room just as you left it, didn't touch a thing. It's always open to you, if you ever want to come back, for a visit or for longer. The Ice Kingdom will always be your home," Ice Thing explained cheerily as he showed him the path Father undoubtedly knew. Father was silent as he walked quietly behind them.

"The penguins have missed you," so did I, went unsaid. "I'm sure they would love it if stopped by more often, or even just called."

"I didn't mean to abandon them," Father said slowly, carefully. "I will admit I was scared of coming back, afraid that being here would - I don't know - make me turn into him again or something. I didn't forget about them or you, I-I guess I hadn't framed our relationship as you had."

"You hate the Ice King," Ice Thing said, their voice becoming rough and losing it's whimsy as they stood in the entryway of his father's former bedroom. Blue mumus, various colored pencils and cracked ice sculptures were littered on the floor, unmoved since their owner last threw them there. Ice Thing had stood in this doorway many times, intending on tidying up the space but found they could not touch their father's abandoned possessions. Then he really would be gone.

"I don't really hate-"

"You deny all the things he loved in order to separate yourself from him. You stay with sister Marceline and care for brother Finn but we were your children the longest and instead you shun us." Ice Thing stated coldly, staring ahead into the vacant room and not at the familiar imposter beside him.

"The Ice King was silly and kind and full of feelings he could not understand much less control. But he was, more than everything, my beloved father. I understand he was not you and you were not him but you are the only thing that remains of him and so I must either build a relationship with you from broken scraps or accept that he is lost forever." They finally turned to look at the pale, stricken human. "My daddy is gone but I am willing to make due with a father if you are."

"Gunter," Father whispered softly, staring into Ice Thing's crystalline eyes. Father may have changed but his eyes were still pale wizard blue and just as sad. He wordlessly opened his arms and Ice Thing -a king and a god but also a parentless child - shuffled forward into his embrace. He was warm. It felt wrong but also strangely right.

"I'm so sorry," Father took a deep steadying breath. "I don't mean to but somehow I end up leaving the people I love behind. I know it must be strange to see me like this but the man I was... I was so miserable and confused and out of control. It took so long to escape from the crown that I kept away from anything reminding me of my old life. I wanted to be my own person outside of his craziness but by doing so I lost my connection to all the good things I had as Ice King and you all were one of my good things." Father pulled back and looked up at them.

"I'll be better. I'll stop by more often and bring treats and generally be more present. I... Daddy promises," he said awkwardly trying to infuse his old self into the words. But the attempt fell flat into the air, sinking like the dust on his father's old life. Ice Thing appreciated it but they had already made peace with their loss. They had watched Father and Marceline circle each other miserably for centuries. That would not be them.

"Thank you, Father," Ice Thing said, gently squeezing his father's delicate human shoulders. "Please take what you'd like from this room but I'm going to leave for you in case you need it. As I said, the Ice Kingdom was once yours and its lights will always be on for you. And if you ever need to talk, let us say I know what it's like to have your loved one changed and gone before your eyes."

"Yes, I suppose you do," Father muttered mostly to himself. "What did I ever do to deserve such kind children?"

"It was how you raised us," Ice Thing responded. They watched as Father took in the room, running his hands over the dust covered objects like they were ancient artifacts to be studied instead of his own belongings. He looked over at the drums hastily shoved into the corner and tapped a knuckle roughly on one of the cymbals which echoed through the room. "Do you still play?"

"I never learned how to play the drums," Father sighed. "Ice King did that all on his own. I never felt a calling to learn the drums but I guess it suited him. I-I think I remember songs, hours and hours of practice and how to hold a beat but I haven't touched them since I changed back. Not sure I really know how anymore."

"You taught me or rather you talked out loud enough as you learned that I picked up the basics. We could play together sometime, like you and Marceline do. Maybe one day we could play as a family." Ice Thing offered. Father smiled at him, sweet but also sad. 

"I would love to, honestly but I think I need more time before I'm ready to step back into those shoes again. I'm sorry, Gun- Ice Thing, really I am, but right now it's quite difficult to even stand in this room. I need to be Simon again before I can think about being Ice King." Disappointed but not surprised, Ice Thing led Father out of his former room and towards the stairs to the Past Room with the others.

Father was alive but it was different than before. Ice Thing had no hopes that he would ever return to being Ice Thing's beloved if complicated Daddy. It stung, an ache that reached deep into their icy heart. Father would visit and he would laugh with them and maybe, one day, he would even play the drums with them again. But it would never be the same. It was up to all of them to accept this new reality, for all the good and bad that came with it.

"Let's bring some more snacks down, if Finn doesn't have something to distract himself he's going to cause problems trying to get the car working," Ice Thing commented.

"The car?" Father blinked, "just what do I have down there? I can't even remember."

"I guess we'll find out together."

#adventure time #simon petrikov #ice thing #i cannot BELIEVE I am getting emo over Ice Thing #they have a surprisingly healthy view of the situation and I believe its bc they're crazy old - older than marceline and way less human #but they still lost their daddy bc Ice King may have been a crazy nuisance but Gunter and the rest LOVED him as he was #Simon is back but there is a cost #Gunter and the pengies are def Simon's kids and don't you forget it #Ice Thing/Simon is like Ice King/Marcy and it makes me so sad #also just in general how our relationship with our parents change as we age #we can form new relationships as adults but its not the same as it was #I was talking about something similar to my therapist over how Ive lost my old relationship with my dad and now Im saddddd #Ice Thing just wants his Daddy but Simon has 99 complexes in a trenchcoat he needs to address before he can meet IT halfway #up on AO3 #song is someday never comes by CCR about abandoning fathers

[lobotomyladylives]

literally wanna dieeeee I realized belatedly that not only was down bad written for me due to being an alien abduction metaphor song but it perfectly describes my situation w/my ex who dumped me 3 days into our second vacation in his country

#but yknow thats what i get for dating a fucking man last year when i absolutely knew better. i was in a low place & the idea of being #whisked away from europe was an escape for me . we got along really well but the second i showed any emotional weakness he couldnt handle i #oh but he sent a bunch of messages begging me to come back when i was on the plane fleeing to my sisters london flat! lol!!! #i didnt tell you guys about any of this on my old blog when it was happening bc i just knew itd invite a flood of #''why were you even dating a man'' messages. yeah im aware. it was stupid & yet another result of my inability to purge myself of the #desire to be in a relationship my homophobic father wouldnt hate me for. and i didnt think any woman would want me . im over it now #fuck my abusive father fuck men in general im so over the internalized homophobia. ive always preferred women why should i have to #supress that to make my fuckface hypocrite father happy. i only rly care bc i love my half brother & want to be in his life which means #i have to appease dad. but at what goddamn cost #why did i say from europe in that earlier tag. i meant TO europe...im from the us #anyways. what a shit show situation that was. i have never felt so betrayed by anyone except for my dad himself #oh i didnt even mention the worst part yet. when i texted from london asking if our friendship was over too (god. so cringe) he then went #into this spiel about how actually what he said earlier when he was asking me to come back #(that it had been a stupid impulse & biggest mistake of his life) was a lie & it had been a long time coming #IF IT WAS A LONG TIME COMING WHY THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME FLY ACROSS THR ATLANTIC FUCKING OCEAN 3 DAYS AGO FOR YOU #and said hed tell me the reasons but ''didnt want to hurt me'' #i have so much hatred in my heart for this man to this day when i really think about the mind games he was playing. unreal. #and he KNEW i already had massive trust issues

[jordanshenessy]

EID MUBARAK BESTIES WHO CELEBRATE🌙✨

#I can finally have breakfast 😭 #okay eid today is so bittersweet for me bc while I get to spend it with my dad I don’t get to spend it with my mom and bro and like all our #neighbours #and I literally only packed such a simple outfit bc I just had the carry on #and I’m so sad about missing out on henna 😭 #I asked my mom to buy a cone for me and I’ll come back and do my own henna SKDJDJ

[ghost-bard]

Btw ahahaha Kuba Kenta is a Rakshasa so when he comes back (because he will unless the albatrio go to hell and kill him) he is either going to hunt Gillion specifically and get his revenge. Or he’ll do the next best thing, and kill all of those close to him. So just some food for thought yall :)

#jrwi #just roll with it #jrwi riptide #riptide pirates #jrwi kuba kenta #jrwi gillion #gillion tidestrider #jrwi theory #jrwi riptide theory #dnd #dungeons and dragons #as a major dnd nerd i knew that he would come back but i wasnt sure to what extent #so my dad grabbed our monster manual to check #since we’re both watching the newest ep #and oh boy lmao #jrwi spoilers #fully forgot to tag this as spoilers sorry yall 😭

[longeyelashedtragedy]

tbh did not send the Lamps chara ask (shy) however I was seriously considering and someone beat me to it. if you feel like it and have time/energy after the others pending then I would massively enjoy expanded Redders thoughts. and/or JT if you like vintage Chels beyond Frank. ik that the skipper (derogatory) corrupted Grealo but he no doubt sunk claws into Frank first

i can definitely do redders for ya! JT i don't know too much about. i know he has some controversies, but that ain't my business lol. i appreciate how he made franko feel and i'm intersted in how the 2 of them have taken different paths both about how they act toward each other and how they talk about roman abramovich post-ukraine war 😂 (would love to hear more about how he corrupted grealo.) BUT. jamie i've got a lot more to say about.

i feel like if you read jamie's odd autobiography and then think of him through that lens, he's a real diamond in the rough of a fascinating footballer. he seems kinda brainless and vapid but i think some of that is because he has too much going on in his brain to use it for that sort of thought. i don't even mean that as a diss. that's a real thing!!! but let's see...

favorite thing about them: well, he certainly seems unpretentious and easy to talk to, which i like. has some good taste in music, is still close to his parents, always takes franko's side and defends him 😂

so, this next part seems like a weird thing to list as a "favorite," as i'm sad he suffers or has suffered in this way, but out of all the things i've read about mental health, both fiction and non-fiction, jamie's book described some of my specific childhood/teenage Horrors so well it was like i wrote it and i was so surprised that he went through all that and admitted it so unselfconsciously. that combination of talented kid with an idyllic life (this was me, albeit in other ways than jamie lol) who lives in this private world of pure fear. some of the things he mentions, like having to paint his room cheerful yellow to ward off Bad Thoughts and Scary things, and being so afraid when he saw the exorcist as a teenager that he slept with the lights on and couldn't get the movie out of his head for weeks--the isolating strength of these kinds of fears is sooooo fuckin real man. he also describes needing to watch the same movie every day for comfort when he got home from school where he got bullied and teased for being a little different, and his attachments to his toys that he'd have to do little rituals with every day to help him feel Calm, and how he took them to school to try to make friends and kids stole them :( he also describes his older self as having something Dark inside him, like when his close friends would become occupied with a girlfriend, he'd kind of freak out and try to get in the way, because he was afraid of losing their support.

his book also describes very sinister perceptions of the external world too, a lot of kind of scary or just ominous scenarios drift through the book (a creep that tried to grab him in the park, the scary, dark corridors under dean court stadium when his Daddy was in charge of bournemouth--i related to that too--, rumors of some weird creep working at tottenham when they wanted to sign young him?)

i apologize if this is repetitive to anyone reading but i had some very particular Problems as a kid and i've just never seen some of them articulated the way jamie articulates them. and i just found all this so...fascinating. i think it explains a lot about his adult self and provides such a contrast between him and brainy franko (see headcanons section!)

least favorite thing about them: he cut his hair and has a beard! i'm predictable--if a footballer had long hair and now doesn't, this will be my response. otherwise, what's there really to dislike? he's kind of inoffensive imho

favorite line: uh a few

"Frank Lampard has a vision for seeing things." (i-hope he actually said that for real)

from his book:

and, for the "franko was too old when he was young" headcanons:

oookay then, anyway:

brotp: idk, who does he hang out with? i like his interactions with the guys on ALOTO even though his main feature is clearly to be the punching bag. maybe with stevie g? with Daddy-Uncle Harry? lmao

notp: his new wife. at first they didn't look as miserable together as he and poor Louise always did, but he just posted a video from their maldives vacation today, and woof--she looks miserable. well, i'm not here for blonde scandinavian models and i think jamie is too childish to do well in a Grownup Married Relationship. again, kind of like with franko, i don't mean childish like... "spoiled entitled manbrat" or "hasn't lost joie de vivre"--more like. is trapped as kid because of his own mind. i think if a therapist saw only jamie and franko as clients, and no one else, they'd be set for life

otp: well...there can be only one. i'd love for jamie & franko to give romeo + juliet their happy ending 😭 they are weirdly...made for each other. and hey--according to the internet it's legal! 🫡👮🏼

random headcanon: so many! lampardverse is sort of all about Jamie in a sense, and i think as a child Jamie so very much appreciated the solid steady presence of his younger cousin. franko's psychological issues are of a very different nature lol, plus we know he's a master of repression (can relate) and we imagine that he'd help jamie with his homework and read him chapters of the narnia book, and eat the food jamie refused to eat.

another one is that jamie is super dependent on his Well-Known Dad. they do a lot of stuff together and idk on ALOTO one of the main purposes seems to get jamie overwhelmed and stressed--because he gets like that very easily--so it feels like Uncle Harry's presence is just. very necessary for him.

fascin8ing! YMMV.

unpopular opinion: i don't think i have one? are there popular or unpopular opinions on jamie redknapp? hahaha

a song i associate with them: hmmm, not really any? i do have him singing shimmy shimmy ya by ODB at franko in "red red red" lol. but i don't really count that 😂

favorite picture of them: let's do a few!

gay af behaviors (affectionate)

whump tendencies

bougie gay cou-- (cousins? couple? choose your own adventure)

THANKS for coming along on this wild ride!

#heffer-wen #answered #jamie jamie jamie #jamie jamie cousin jamie #into the lampardverse #i'll have to reblog veronika's take on jamie too to the ask i sent #our takes are so different #which i love #i also fuckin hated bday parties when i was in elementary school!!! #i was always afraid my mom/dad would never come back to pick me up!

[sacredfire44]

I think it’s hilarious to watch people get mad about Boruto being character assassination because it IS until you consider the possibility of a poly situationship. Sakura is Sasuke’s wife, and Sasuke is Naruto’s husband, and Naruto is Hinata’s husband.

And also consider that Naruto has probably put in some actual damn work since he become Hokage.

Can’t do anything about Sasuke avoiding Konoha but I’m honestly not surprised about that, he’s a bit traumatized. Is he protective of it now? Yes! And that’s NOT WEIRD. Maybe the Konoha before was corrupt, but Naruto can LITERALLY SENSE NEGATIVE INTENTIONS(WHICH EVERYONE SEEMS TO HAVE FORGOTTEN?!)

Root has been disbanded and Naruto’s pretty clearly weeded out the corruption around him! Hell, they might never have brought UP the Hyuga branch-main family argument, but it’s clearly been dealt with considering neither Hanabi or Hinata have branch family seals, nor does Boruto or Himawari, when it’s explicitly mentioned that the heir remains in the main family while their siblings get seals.

(I wouldn’t be surprised if Naruto having kids with Hinata was what caused that issue to come up, honestly. What, do YOU want to be the Hyuga elder that explains to the Fifth and Sixth Hokage, as well as all the other Kage, and the entirety of Konoha, why their Hero’s kids should have a torture-seal placed on them?)

Like come on man, this is a village that finally DOES represent Naruto and Sasuke’s goals! It makes SENSE that he’d want to protect it now!!!

Also not surprised that Sasuke is awkward about Sakura and Sarada, my boy has No Idea how to interact outside of Naruto, and frankly if he does have feelings about her, as an autistic person who can’t handle emotions, I too run away from the people I care about when I get overwhelmed about caring for them. The people that I DON’T run from are the ones who chase after me often enough that I get used to caring about them.

Furthermore, Naruto doesn’t avoid his family! If you watched Naruto The Last, or hell, the day Naruto become Hokage, you know Naruto didn’t even BECOME Hokage until his kids are older, which he MENTIONED was a choice on his part so he could spend more time with them before they entered the Academy. The movie takes place during the Chunnin Exams, which are canonically more work to maintain, especially when it’s all five villages attending. In the series, we’ve seen Naruto come home much earlier outside of big, international events, take days off to spend with his family, and use clones for work while he stays home! Like he DOES spend time with his family, kishimoto himself said Boruto’s outbursts were more about getting used to his dad having any job at all(as he was a very powerful Shinobi who honestly didn’t have a lot of missions at his skill level) after being pretty much a stay-at-home dad. Hell, in the after-credits scene in Naruto the Last, it’s implied that Hinata was still an active Shinobi, and considering the age of the kids, I would not be surprised with Naruto staying at home with the kids up until Naruto’s ascension as hokage. And I NEED more fics if this time period, I’m DYING.

Anyway, Hinata and Naruto love each other, and Naruto and Sasuke love each other. Honestly I’m a bit iffy on Sasuke and Sakura but I kinda like the idea that she’s his beard which is why she’s never shown to mind when he’s not home lol. I CAN actually see them loving each other too, though I don’t think Sakura has a lot of skill with Uchihas that run from their feelings haha. Himawari is Naruhina’s kid, while Sarada and Boruto 100% have a mom and 2 dads. And I think with this interpretation, the whole show suddenly makes sense.

#I always think it’s wild to see anti-Boruto stuff #that’s Naruto and Sasuke’s son your talking about #hold your tongue #literally just look up merch for the show #it’s all Boruto and his two gay dads #Am I surprised Naruto looks tired? hell no #world leaders in our world tend to age prematurely VERY FAST #and that’s on TOP of all the times Naruto LITERALLY SHORTENED HIS OWN LIFE SPAN in shippuden #anyone remember saving Gaara? #but if Naruto could grow his hair back out I think we’d all be happier lol #and people hating that Sasuke likes Konoha now is wild #THE WHOLE POINT OF WHY HIS REVENGE WAS WRONG WAS THAT THE PEOPLE AT FAULT WERE ALREADY GONE #HE WAS TARGETTING INNOCENTS BECAUSE THEY DIDNT NOTICE ANYTHING WAS WRONG #THE WHOLE POINT WAS THE CYCLE OF HATRED FROM NARUTO AND PEIN’S FIGHT #YOU HAD MY BROTHER KILL MY FAMILY #SO I AM GOING TO KILL YOUR FAMILY WHO WERE INNOCENT #AND THE PEOPLE WHO LOVED THEM WILL THEN COME AFTER ME FOR KILLING THEIR LOVED ONES #THE WHOLE POINT WAS THAT IT NEVER ENDS #SASUKE MAKING AN ACTIVE DECISION TO FORGIVE IGNORANCE WAS THE WHOOOOLLLLEEEE POOOOIIIIINNNNNTTTTT #forgot to tag normally haha #Boruto #Naruto #Naruto Uzumaki #Sasuke Uchiha #SNS #sasunarusasu #naruhina #sasusaku kinda

[dirt-str1der]

just wanna say im obsessed with your mind and i read your posts about kiryu like the morning paper. thank you for your service

(Sweats) e-even the ones about him laying eggs ?

#Thanks for the ask ! #HIIIIII thank you for reading my posts im really a serial rambler so that is no easy feat. i just had a lowkey nightmare that was insect #based so its nice to think about different kinds of eggs once in a while. sorry for the eggs i just learned the word gravid and i cant stop #saying it !!! i literally opened tumblr to make another post about kiryu i was gonna say he was probably antisocial in his childhood which #is really a miracle any girls managed to notice him at all. and i believe that he was very dismissive of his clothing and appearance because #you know when youre young and trans and havent realised it but you just randomly hate everything about your appearance and dont even knowwhy #i think his hair was always too long and too shaggy and he would let nishiki comb it sometimes because he really could not stand his mane #and sometimes when it gets wayy too long and shitty the sunflower caretaker would drag him outside and just cut a chunk of it off with a #knife and kiryu would have shoulder length hair for a little while... anyway i need to give him a little girlfriend like how rikiya had one #when he was in school because all trans guys need a little girlfriend or an all girl group of friends to be his girlfriends when hes a kid #so he can carry their shopping bags and wait for them outside the changing room etc and kiryu cant resist a girl so he gets a letter from #nishiki and he tells him yeah this is probably a prank to have you wait there for hours or there might be guys waiting to ambush you and #beat the crap out of you. and kiryus like Nobody beats the crap out of me except our dad. and goes to meet this girl and he actually agrees #to go out with her and this is the thing that keeps him in school because otherwise he would literally not go. like hed walk with yumi and #nishiki and the rest of the kids at sunflower that he doesnt care about to remember the names of. and he would just wave them off at the #gate and wander the town in his school uniform and then after school he’ll meet nishiki and possibly yumi at the gate (yumi probably makes #other friends but its a Must to walk nishiki home because he’ll get lonely) and when kiryu starts going out with this girl hes obligated to #walk her home so he already broke rule one but nishikis like happy for him But he has to walk home with some other random guys now and #eventually theyll broach the topic of ‘his psycho sister’ and nishiki literally has to beat a few guys up to defend kiryus honour and when #he comes back with news of how unpopular kiryu is with the rest of the guys because he looks better with short hair than they do and has a #girlfriend whos super cute. kiryu is just like damn did you commit social suicide to protect my honour? youre my best friend. but whatever #kids get over it fast. but parents dont!! and kiryu walks his girlfriend right to her front door and soon enough her parents are going to #find out that the boyfriend she keeps gushing about is a girl and straight up take her out of school to make her stop being gay and kiryus #like but ... im a boy ... punches the ground and screams to the sky. anyway enough about dysphoria simulator im here to talk about this guy #when hes a bit older because im salivating and shaking over the thought of his bootyass rip kiryu you woulda loved thongs. i think hed hate #ripped jeans but only because he thinks theyre a waste of manufacturing. its literally better for the world that kiryu decided 2 transition #because can you imagine if she was a girl and needed to wear a bra? like she would literally have an itchy back all the time which would #give her a hair trigger temper which means kamurocho a&e room will be very healthily plush indeed. god my battery is dying i need to take a #shower noww anyway really thank you for the nice message you are so sweet ... hi ...

[irregularbillcipher]

i go back and forth with how i feel about flatterland. i didn't finish it because i wasn't having a good time with it, and i felt like stewart didn't understand some of the satire, (flatland had progressed far too fast far too quickly imo and it bothered me,) but i do like some of the concepts. like i mentioned starchildren in my last few fic chapters because i thought that was a solid piece of worldbuilding from stewart that really fit my irregularity/disability theming, but man... i wish i liked other stuff in the book better

#i think i get what he was TRYING to do #like the section where the protag's dad is sooo proud of himself for trying to be okay with his daughter dating an irregular #(and one SO irregular he's a plain old TRAPEZOID) #like the way it shifted to a more modern subtle bigotry was interesting. i understood it #but it felt so wrong for flatland as a PLACE to have progressed so much in like three generations #also stuff like color 'coming back in vogue' like that.... was not the point of color supression? #or just the (imo sort of lazy) 'well we had two world wars that got women in the workforce so flatland also had that :)' #where te history of flatland just so directly followed our own like... idk. didn't love it #flatland is not a place where i should read about home internet and cell phones #i didn't finish it so perhaps i'll eat my words someday but like #a few fun concepts. weird book as a whole

[deklo]

i lied to my old boss that i was in the city this week so now im up EARLY to go to the city so she can give me beer hehe

#and then i’m gonna. immediately come back here when she’s gone #she took so many cases of beer during our last weeks and she doesn’t even drink beer really #:) #so now it’s miiiiine (and my dads)

[coveredinsun]

i haven’t watched ahsoka episode 5 but i’ve seen some spoilers. and let me tell you they’re NOT THE RIGHT SPOILERS. i swear to god dave filoni needs to be assassinated because im starting to get annoyed at seeing ahsoka in the show named after her

#in hell meme WHERE IS EZRA BRIDGER #also if ezra doesnt come back i’ll be so pissed. im going home this weekend and watching episode 5 with my dad #because ezra and thrawn are both our favorites (my dad read the thrawn books and lovedddd him in rebels) #and i won’t be back home again for another MONTH!!!!!!! FUCK THIS GAY EARTH AND FUCK DAVE FILONI #star wars