#Psuedomemories

[sysboxes]

[Text: An alter in this system has pseudomemories from and older time and may struggle with modern concepts.]

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#userbox #system #system stuff #traumagenic system #did #osdd #anti endo #endos dni #mod wonder ❄️ #wonderstyle boxes #misc userbox #psuedomemories #undescribed

[a-tords-memories]

The End... The End...

I always find myself wanting to speak about this the most. I feel that most fans of the show, and most other Eddsworld fictives or kin, feel the most strongly about these episodes.

It hurts, all the time. The regret. The mistakes. How stupidly, immature I was. For someone so cold and calculating, it was the one thing I didn't calculate properly. My mind was running wild, with so many emotions. The most imposing emotion: fear.

You see, I never left. I was by my friends sides, all up til that day. I left for long trips back home to Norway, to work on the army business. My friends, unknowing of my secretive hobbies.

The day is so vivid. It's one of the few things, that I remember so well.

It was supposed to be simple:

Send Edd, Matt, and Tom to the store. Get my robot. They come home like nothing happened, and for me? There's a note saying an unexpected emergency arose, and I needed to fly back home.

Simple. It should've been simple.

But, as always, things are NOT simple.

I insisted on staying home. And then Tom insisted on staying home. And guess who got their way?

No one was supposed to get hurt. I know how stereotypical that sounds, coming from Tord. But it's the truth. I didn't want to hurt my friends.

As I was begged by the one person who made me so weak, to come to the store, I crumbled and gave in. I shouldn't have crumbled. I should've been firm. I shouldn't have gone to the store with them.

As of course, from there, we all know what happened. But what about my motives? Unlike the show, I cared about them. So what gives? Why'd I say those hurtful things to Edd?

The way he looked at me, seeing me up in that robot. The way, I could see it in his eyes: his entire reality was shattering around him. I knew what he was already thinking.

Why try to tell the truth? Would he have really believed me? Would he understand my plans, to make the world a better place? (It was never about world domination). Would he, see me?

No. He wouldn't have. Maybe in the future, but not at that moment. And I lied. I proved his thoughts right. I didn't want him to think I could come back after this. I didn't want him to try to look for me. I thought, if I hurt him now, it'd spare him the pain. If he thought I never cared, it'd hurt less. No leading on... Just, quick.

I wanted to runaway, the moment he saw me. The me, that I never wanted him to see.

#eddsworld #eddsworld tord #eddsworld edd #eddsworld matt #Eddsworld tom #ew edd #ew tord #ew tom #ew matt #dissociative identity disorder #did alter #tord fictive #psuedo memories #Psuedomemories #eddsworld kin #fictionkin #eddsworld fictive #fictional introject #canon #canon divergent #tord

[dirty-graves]

Tbh people need 2 start recognizing tht trauma effects ppl in unpalatable and ugly ways. Victims aren't always going 2 be uwu fragile softkids with only ~holy~ and ~unproblematic~ symptoms.

Im a victim @ the hands of my father. I was four when it first happened and he continued 2 treat me like eyecandy up until I cut him out of my life.

I formed 2 not only hold that trauma but cope w/ it. I was given psuedomems of having a ""healthy"" (in quotes bc inc*st is never healthy lmao) relationship w/ my in source brother bc my brain craved a way 2 feel control over how we were abused. And oh my god, shock and horror, it's something I think fondly of!

But you know what?

Not only did we NOT turn into some consang freak who thinks that inc*st is "ok with consent" -- The moment I (and a handful of other alters w/ similar situations) formed, we started healing. We stopped comparing ourselves to our father. We stopped having nauseating intrusive thoughts abt other family members. We stopped wanting 2 end our life over how dirty we felt. Our trauma couldn't hurt us anymore because our brain had found a way to turn it into something we could grasp and shrink into a miniscule bug.

But people aren't going 2 think of that when they hear this. I can assure u the majority of internet losers entrenched in fakeass "mental health positivity" movements would hear about my experience and assume I'm some paraphilic predator lmao.

Bc it doesnt matter if a victim is healing! All that matters is if they're silent abt their suffering and only coping in ~pure~ and ~acceptable~ ways.

It's a victims job to provide accurate warnings before talking about not only their trauma, but the ways it has shaped them as a person. It is NOT their job to make it palatable for you. It is not their job to conform to what you think is healthy.

It is not YOUR job to play therapist and pretend like u know what is best 4 them. If you had even an inch of the PhD required 2 become a therapist u would understand tht brains r complex and weird. That not everyone is going to heal in the same way, and tht not everyone is going to heal in conventional ways.

♡ And I know the ppl I'm talking abt will come out of the woodworks 2 be nasty, if this actually gains traction. I love attention, so u'll just be fueling me. Thank u and Thx 4 proving my point. ♡

#tw: inc*st #Psuedomemories #creepypasta #Introject #tw: Icsa #ghostly text #d.i.d system #Tagged creepypasta bc I'm jeff the killer. Srry LMAO. #Trauma #Mental Health #actually plural

[bluegatoradeenjoyer]

its 'missing my brother hours' again

#sals shit #psuedomemories

[coolerdracula]

Leon is really awkward when he fronts on account of never talking to people so last night he was talking to Frank and all he said was he looked like Chris Redfield. and then he left

#bearer of the curse #psuedomemories Andy etc

[dasvadanyadarling]

I'M THE MAIN CHARACTER

// Edward - 31 - He / They / ? //

// Co-host to @formidophobia //

// Delusional. That's all you get //

// I don't debate system discourse on account of me being an adult with a life.//

AND YOU HAVE TO LIKE ME!

// No DNI but endogenic "systems" are not welcome here, and if you can't interact with fictives like a normal person then kindly leave. //

// Minors should probably not follow as I post some nsfw. //

// <?> //

#?-> Psuedomemories #?-> Source #?-> Aesthetic #?-> System #?-> Friends #?-> Partners #?-> Artwork #?-> Literature #?-> My Inventions #?-> Queuery #?-> Inquiries

[sourcetalkrambles]

Consuming a newer piece of canon source material that you don't relate to at ALL is so funny like. just that visceral reaction of That Is Not Correct

#/hj obviously canon will have its own creative story it wants to tell and its not going to be dictated by my thoughts memories or fantasies #but its still really funny #for specific context this is about Cr*tical R*les N*ne Ey*s of L*cien #censoring bc i dont really want this to show up in the actual tags #and yeah Im a Lucien fictroject #what of it #but yeah even tho I think it was pretty well written and the story parallels between Lucien and Molly were cool #it was just really strange to see since I formed a while before the book was published so while I do have several source memories #a lot of them dont super duper line up or are different than how the book says #spoiler warning in case youre wanting to read it #but for instance the whole Br*vyn thing is super duper weird bc obviously I dont have any psuedomemories of her and then also Im gay so #yeah its just weird in a funny sort if way #also this is our first post so thats cool #we'll be working on an intro post in a while but for now if any other cr*t r*le introjects wanna interact feel free to we have several #just know tho that yeah Im here and we also have introjects of the Briarwoods so its understandable if you dont want to interact #endos dni #non traumagenic dni #osddid #actually osdd #introject #fictroject #fictive #long tags #Lucien🥀

[emptysekai]

GAH

#its the psuedomemories </3 id rather just deal with the normal trauma mmories i dont undersand why i am being attacked by the visions of #my life #txt

[sysboxes]

[Text: This introject misses their source/sourcemates, but doesn’t have pseudomemories.]

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#userbox #this user #system #system stuff #traumagenic system #did #osdd #anti endo #endos dni #mod plush 🌻 #psuedomemories #source memories

[a-tords-memories]

Something you can never forget, are the bonds you have with the people around you. I mourn everyday the loss I feel, for the friends I had, the life I had. The good memories. The bad memories.

I moved around frequently, but I will never forget the first day I met Edd. The second person to ever welcome me with kindness. Something, that was so unfamiliar to me. I watched other people share it with each other frequently, and it was something I always secretly envied. But I wasn't losing sleep over it.

It was my first day at this highschool. I was prepared, ready to not give a shit. I was ready to be the overseas outcast, to get pelted with spitballs, beat in the hallways. I was ready for the teachers to hate me. People to make fun of my English.

And I was waiting by the bus stop that morning, as the rain poured. I didn't bring an umbrella, because in the long run, what does it matter? And I waited, the cold rain soaking my skin.

And that's when I saw him. Walking over to the stop, and I prayed under my breath that he wouldn't stop here. But, alas, he did. And, like the kind person he was, he offered me his umbrella. And despite my protests, he stood close, and shared his umbrella with me.

Throughout the day, he kept speaking to me, between classes, in the halls, trying to be so helpful. And I didn't understand why.

#eddsworld #eddsworld edd #eddsworld tord #dissociative identity disorder #pre canon #fictive #tord fictive #fictional introject #eddsworld fictive #fictionkin #eddsworld kin #psuedo memories #Psuedomemories #Pre canon (highschool) #canon divergent #canon #ew tord #ew edd #did alter #teen memory #tord

[mountain-under-the-sun]

vent post

#vent we honestly just need to sleep #the term psuedomemories and false memory is genuinely so infuriating #i do understand the purpose #it just feels like an insult at same time #y&zr1drfl.txt

[agntcarolina]

it feels weird being handled with like.

eggshells. and I'm not, but I feel like I am. I feel incredibly transparent and so fucking vulnerable all the time it sucks so much.

#log: thoughts #it sucks to feel likr im in a perpetual state of grief because the fhing that hurts the most is just knowing that its psuedomemories #that before this point he hasnt been around

[superstardaycareofficial]

Halloween used to be a favorite holiday of both Sun and I, although we had different reasons for enjoying it.

I enjoyed it because I was able to read darker stories to the children and my mannerisms were not at all seen as something weird or terrifying, but rather as a silly act for “spooky season.” (It was not a pleasant feeling, but for me, it was still far better than children running away at the sight of my presence and older children, staff, parents, and adult customers commenting on my appearance.)

We are still able to celebrate Halloween. However, we now only do so with a few select people in our lives, rather than a crowd of children. We may not be able to celebrate in the daycare, but we still find enjoyment in the holiday, nonetheless.

#Rises the Moon (Moondrop 🌙) #psuedomemories #halloween #tw bullying mention

[bluegatoradeenjoyer]

fuck i miss my brother. i miss smoking weed with him and listening to sanity's fall and just shooting the shit, wasting time together. i hate that technically it never happened and i hate that ill never get to do it again.

#vent post #sals shit #psuedomemories #drug ment

[coolerdracula]

i dont really know much about castlevania, could you tell about your source character if you want :]? or anything else u want about the series or other characters or whatever

aw sure! I'm not the most well-versed on the series, since we've only really played the 2 games that my source character is in, but I can talk a little about those ones :]

the two games, Aria of Sorrow and Dawn of Sorrow, take place way in the future of Castlevania's plot, after Dracula has been defeated and his powers sealed inside of a solar eclipse. but, there's a prophecy that says he'll be reincarnated in 2035 when another eclipse occurs. when that eclipse happens, Soma Cruz (and company: his girlfriend Mina, a woman named Yoko, a merchant named Hammer, a man named Arikado, and a vampire hunter named Julius) get transported to/trapped inside of the eclipse, where Dracula's castle has been dormant. Soma, Dracula's fated reincarnation, begins experiencing the effects of the dark powers, which gives him the ability to collect the souls of monsters he kills and use their powers for himself (like Kirby). but he doesn't want to go full Dracula, since ... evil.

^ example of him using the soul of a Warg to do a cool bite attack

also, there's another guy in the castle who insists that HE is the rightful reincarnation of Dracula (he's not), and is willing to kill Soma over it. so Soma has to deal with that guy, on top of resisting his fate of becoming the 'dark lord.' if you get the good end, he does just that, and seals Dracula's powers back inside the eclipse, but if you get the bad end, Dracula's soul wakes and possesses Soma. :[ but usually Soma's love for Mina keeps him from turning evil so it's ok ^-^

ONE MORE THING! Arikado, the man I mentioned earlier, is present throughout the game as a sort of chaperone figure who wants to make sure Soma stays in line (Soma is 19 so that's fair). what's important to know about him is that he's actually a disguised Alucard from the previous games, who is the son of the original Dracula. he's the one in the suit in my favorite gif ever (seen below)

I hope this all makes sense! thank you for the question, talking about my source is interesting for me!

#I'm keeping psuedomemories out of this but Julius did throw things at me #Castlevania #<- for blacklist #asks #long post #I think

[puppydogism]

I WANT MY BODY BACK

#fuck you psuedomemories #❤️‍🔥