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monstersinthecosmos · 6 months

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Hi!! I would love to hear your thoughts about Marius' experience of captivity and how this affects his relationship with Armand. You alluded to this in Gallows Bird and I think that's a super interesting thread to pull

[ Let me drop these two fics real quick to get it out of the way for reference sorry if this is obnoxious LOL but Gallows Bird (Marius/Armand) and The Lotus Eater (Armand/Daniel) !! ]

Asdgahsdk oh boy

I have so many deep nuanced feelings about Marius de Romanus so be patient with me while I try to sketch this all out, I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START!

So one thing I want to mention off the bat, which is not necessarily canon VC but is relevant to my fics and how I write, is that I process a lot of ND/ADHD stuff when I write, and this goes way back before I even knew I had ADHD. So even going back to like my earlier VC fics from like 5-6 years ago, I think I was constantly inserting traits of myself into my fics and trying to process them in the way that I thought they were just character flaws at the time. AND LIKE this is also relevant because I wrote Gallows Bird to be directly correlating to my Devil’s Minion fics. For example, in The Lotus Eater, one of my huge emotional cornerstones in that fic/me talking about my own perceived character flaws, was the “he had been careless with this boy” theme. And I repeated that in Gallows Bird on purpose to link them lol. So that example is like, I was really inspired by like how ADHD can ruin things on accident; like you don’t take care of something, miss a deadline, break something by being careless even though you DO CARE. At the time when I wrote The Lotus Eater I had no idea about ADHD so I just thought it was like this bad part of my personality that I was really struggling with. I am more forgiving of that now.

And I connect this also to Marius in Gallows Bird because like, something I really struggled with as a person is like the ND/ADHD impulse to like RELATE TO PEOPLE when they’re trying to talk, like bringing up my own experience as a way to say “Something like this happened to me too so I can empathize with you”, which is always well intentioned! And I’ve seen so much convo from ND folks that struggle with this because NT folks tend to misunderstand it as changing the subject/being narcissistic/whatever.

Anyway!!!!!!!!! Sorry for that preamble but I’m saying that like, I kind of approach writing Marius as a mix of canon & projection, because yknow it’s my fuckin story and I feel like it lol but I think like the fun of fanfic and what makes people’s styles unique and interesting is our mix of perspectives and personalities and like how we choose to fill in the blanks in canon or interpret characters, right?

Canon Marius makes a few comments when he meets Armand about how like, this is someone who is as bruised and damaged as he is, and someone who can heal him, and he feels their souls understand each other. And Canon Marius is like, arrogant enough (by his own admission!) to see the absolute HORRIFIC trauma the Armand went through and go “Oh yeah I had horrific trauma too.”

How do we compare Armand’s trauma to Marius’s trauma? Idk. No one can answer that because we all respond to trauma differently. So I think to some extent there’s some headcanon territory here of how everyone interprets Marius, and do we believe him that his trauma was SO SEVERE that it IS on par with what’s happened to Armand? Or do we believe what he went through isn’t so bad/was 1500 years ago and he’s being obnoxious by comparing the two because he should be healed by now?

I’d also ask like, to what extent is neither true/is it not that fucking deep, like is Marius simply saying “wow this looks really bad, I want to know him for centuries so he has time to grow and heal”; like perhaps Marius at this point sees his captivity & murder as this awful thing that happened to him 1500 years ago and maybe it feels sort of disconnected.

BUT I DON’T KNOW, the thing about Marius is that he’s so fucking stoic! Like I know I’ve brought it up a couple times recently but it’s because I was reading some Marcus Aurelius to put in Gallows Bird lol so using that to like fill in some blanks with Marius, he reads like someone who is constantly trying to rationalize away his own emotions. And like! IDK! Maybe beliefs about psychology are always a phases or temporary until we learn more, but reading him in 2023 I just call bullshit on that! It doesn’t work that way! So who’s to say that his 1500 year old trauma isn’t actually still very close to the surface, and who’s to say he can’t be easily retraumatized whenever it comes up because he’s never meaningfully recovered?

AND LIKE FOR PEOPLE WHO HAVE EXPERIENCED TRAUMA THE AFTERMATH IS SO OFTEN ABOUT JUST FINDING CONTROL OVER WHATEVER YOU CAN, NO MATTER HOW USELESS OR UNHEALTHY IT IS. And that's also the sort of central thesis of Gallows Bird; giving Armand a space to process his trauma where he's in control. And for Marius it's just really sad how often he tries to control his own personality, his own feelings, his own mask, the way people perceive him, and it's such a struggle for him that it always eventually collapses.

I want to pause here for a second too and bring up a couple old posts I’ve written so I’m not repeating myself too much LOL but let’s also consider:

Trauma Hole Theory and if vampires are stuck forever within the trauma of their turning

Marius & Armand’s equal-opposite religious trauma

Marius’s struggle with feeling emotion

I think if we start dissecting ANY vampire in VC we’ll see thematic ways that their turning has traumatized them forever, between the violence/trauma around the act itself but also whatever ways they’ve been frozen as their mortal selves. Lestat is a perpetually insecure 20 year old who can’t emotionally regulate and must prove himself to everybody, Louis is someone who didn’t want to live at all and was given eternal life rather than death, Armand is deeply wounded and fucked up but is having like 2 years of relative peace and safety. And Marius is like, older, has lived life, knows what he’s losing and gaining, and has his entire worldview shattered after spending a year resenting religious zealots only to find out that everything they believed was true.

So I bring all these points up because I don’t think there’s a simple answer or a direct correlation here. Marius recognizes that they’ve each suffered a trauma, but he hasn’t really dealt with his own in a meaningful way, therefore he is not equipped to help Armand deal with his either.

I constantly go back to when Marius hits him after they come back from Kiev and I think this really hammers it home for me—Marius is someone who wants to strangle all of his emotions into submission, and he’s really trying to believe that it’s a matter of willpower to simply NOT FEEL THINGS. So much of Marcus Aurelius is about this! AND IN SOME WAYS LIKE, YEAH THIS IS MAYBE AN ANCIENT VERSION OF CBT??? Like we do CBT to patiently teach ourselves to think differently, but it’s obviously not as easy as simply shutting your emotions off or bullying yourself out of feeling any. And he’s trying SO SO hard to be this way, and it doesn’t work, so it’s not going to work on Armand either!

And like it’s not Marius simply being a dickhead, simply being abusive; I do think he’s really trying, but he’s fucking lost! HE HAS LIVED LIES! And god it just really hurts to see him as someone who struggles with this shit and who lies to himself about it, LIKE WHO HASN’T BEEN THERE? How many of us who struggle with mental health haven’t had those moments like, those tiny glimpses seeing behind the veil and being honest with yourself, but being so fucking powerless and not knowing what to do with it.

I know I’ve personally had moments of realization like “I am going to be like this forever” and it’s SO defeating, and imagining that sentiment for someone who will LIVE FOREVER just hurts me so bad!

We see this trope in media sometimes—certainly it’s based in real life!—of parents projecting onto children, trying to correct mistakes by breaking a cycle, but which only serves to treat their child like an extension of themselves and not a whole individual. So I think of that, too—Marius seeing himself in someone who was also abducted, and even though he also plans to turn Armand, he wants it to be beautiful and gentle! (He even changes his mind about it several times before he does it in a panic because Armand is dying! {this is heavily referenced in Gallows Bird because he realizes he's fucked Armand up to much to let him live anyway.} ) He also is sorta trying to fake it till he makes it with all this emotional stuff; like even though he KNOWS he can’t simply shut emotions off, he’s still trying to teach Armand to. And going back to Marius being a lil arrogant, I think sometimes he does project himself onto other people, or treat people better if they remind him of himself. So like, projecting some wounded version of himself onto Armand to try to rescue, vs risking it all for Lestat a few centuries later because someone who reminds him of himself actually WANTS to be rescued.

The IRONY too that like he spends his whole time in captivity as a skeptic, not believing that there is a God in the Grove, and for that entity to turn out to be a vampire!!! Marius presenting HIMSELF as a god-figure to Armand, but trying to be safe and friendly about it! I don’t know man I’m really fucking hsdkjgladsghkjl upset right now lol

And after all that like, not really knowing what exactly happened to Armand to indoctrinate him into the cult, just knowing that he’s thriving with them, that he gave it all up to be their leader, is such a betrayal of everything and so traumatizing!

Gosh.

Anyway.

I DON’T’ KNOW WHERE TO START I DON’T KNOW WHERE TO END, THINKING ABOUT THIS FUCKS ME UP I HOPE THIS ANSWERS YOUR QUESTION LOL

#deep ass thoughts about vampires #marius de romanus #armand #marius/armand #vampire chronicles #trauma hole theory #stuff i wrote #gallows bird

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niobiumao3 · 10 months

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A lot of the things which make NOPE such a good movie are how it's an excellent example of Show Don't Tell. (It's not that I think exposition is always bad, it's that I definitely feel showing something is just as good and often hits harder.)

The strongest example of this is the two side characters, Antlers and Angel. We don't engage with them a ton and yet we know a LOT about them from all the little things we see, their behaviors. Of course plenty of that is the actors being top notch but also the writing was note perfect. Antlers initially comes across as an artiste and general dick, but when you hear him talk on the phone with Em you realize it's not that at all, he's just not particularly personable. He's an entirely okay guy, is honest and straight forward with her, doesn't even blow her off when she straight up admits she wants to film a UFO. He just warns her to be careful.

Angel is the polar opposite; he's a very extroverted, friendly sort who craves companionship. He's a tech person in the extreme, awkward but trying his hardest to connect to people. He's excitable and rebounding from his breakup HARD. He loved that girl and she bailed on him.

Similarly, I got a real ND vibe from OJ. He struggles to communicate with people, is intensely socially anxious, particularly in a setting with a bunch of folks staring at him. He's introverted to the extreme. But around people he knows he's entirely comfortable. And this is never told to us; we're shown in all his interactions.

With Em it's the most subtle. Everything about her cries 'mom who died very young and Em wound up being raised by a dad who had NO IDEA how to raise a daughter'. So she lashes out if she feels stifled, she strikes out on her own, tries to be her own person since her father wouldn't let her. Yet she loves her brother dearly, doesn't bail on him despite him giving her leave to do so several times. Her family is deeply important to her no matter how difficult it was for her to feel like a part of it. In the end it's her victory, too; she gets the photo. No one else.

#nope #it's real good #12/10

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anarkittyuwuuniverse · 2 years

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I wonder how popular it is in the Kingdom Hearts fandom to interpret Nobodies as a sort of allegory for being neurodivergent. Not in the sense that I think they're authorially intended (tm) to be read that way, just that it's a reading you could make. I think one of the reasons Roxas always resonated so much with me as a character was because of how autistic-coded he seems. How in the beginning of Days he's always so quiet, withdrawn and plain-spoken, to the extent that everyone else reads him as super robotic and zombie-like. How he doesn't take any spontaneous interest in the people around him, how he doesn't understand it when he sees kids running around laughing in Twilight Town, referring to it as "making all that noise". How much he relies on the routine of defeating Heartless and eating ice cream afterwards to get through the day, how when it's a day off he can't figure out what to do at all without that routine. All the little jokes and indirect remarks the other Nobodies who have memories do that just go completely over his poor head. I think the whole idea of Nobodies not having hearts and thus (supposedly) not being able to connect to other people is very reminiscent of the experience of having low/no empathy (or just the general disconnect to other people that ND folks can experience). I feel like that would make Roxas and Xion closer to being stand-ins for autistic people, being people who were always like this, while the other Nobodies with memories would more closely resemble people with ND-conditions developed later in life. There 'losing ones heart' could be more of a metaphor for going through trauma, and the subsequent disconnect more akin to depression, PTSD or even a personality disorder (which could be said to be a problematic interpretation since most of these Nobodies are villains but hey, Axel is one of them too), how they still act like normal humans a stand-in for masking. The low-empathy interpretation also makes Roxas a very interesting contrast to Sora, since Sora is defined as a character so much by his empathy and ability to connect and make friends with others, how these traits are even made central as his ability to save the worlds. It makes it all the more tragic to see Roxas contemplate how he could have been in Sora's place, that he could've been the protagonist essentially, but realizing that because of how he was born he could have never taken his place. "This is why it has to be you" he says, as he sees how Sora is able to empathize even with him, a person with no heart. This is also one of the reasons why I hate the reveal that Nobodies had hearts all along. Sora went through all of KH2 being told that Nobodies may appear to be human, but that they are "nothing like us", that they only appear to be, that they're only acting. That really they are empty shells who can never feel or have friendships or connections like a "normal" human can. Roxas and Axel prove him wrong, prove to him that Nobodies can have emotions and friendships, even if they don't look the same as those of Somebodies. I think it takes away so much from that to just say "oh well the only reason they could do that was because they actually were like us all along, they just didn't know it". But that's just my interpretation. I would love to hear if any other fans have had similar interpretations, I really think Nobodies are one of the most interesting parts of this series.

#kingdom hearts #roxas #organization xiii #kh 358/2 days #neurodiversity #autism

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akuma-homura · 1 year

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tbh I get and understand that there needs to be more human / not robot / not alien / not non-human autistic/nd/aro/ace/ect. characters

there's an implication there of dehumanizing esp. autistic folk with how much that kind of coding happens

however

i continue to make my android characters and eldritch characters and such whi are definitely at least SOME flavor of neurodivergent, whether autistic or not, many who are somwhere along the ace spectrum, ect ect ect ect

because that is what I like the most and am most interested in and actually like wheezes as well as my own feelings about connecting to nonhumanity ect ect ect

though also to be fair, when it comes to if a character is nd or autistic or not, I never purposefully do it? They all just turn out that way because of My Me WHEEZES

And then it gets to a point where it's a bit undeniable. Like with Soleil.

#[ ;text ]#i do feel i'm... on a thin line there bc i'm not like. actually diagnosed with anything #was kind of ignored about it when younger #and now that i'm older and read and see peoples experiences and researched it i'm like '#OH........'#but i'm poor and no money to get evaluated so.#i mean mate i don't even have health insurance #i'm like 98% sure i'm autistic /and/ adhd though #the remaining 2% is more if it IS both or just one #but the more i look and actually realize how i am the more i'm. yeah gfdgGFDSFVBG #the post and tags veered off into two only tangetially related directions whoops

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omgcheez · 2 years

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y'all, I need to just make a huge ramble/post/ something about how the Encanto fandom went to the opposite extreme after people pointed out how HC's like trans Luisa and ignoring cultural aspects of the movie was offensive.

Like, it went to the exact opposite, where people headcannoning a character as LGBT or ND risks being called offensive, with no nuance whatsoever. A lot are just fun headcannons! Also, for anyone who watched the BTS, someone who worked on the movie connected their experiemces as a gay man/the fear of coming out to Bruno (Not saying he is gay, but Disney has a history of queercoding in media! A lot of the crew for Disney movies are also LGBT and to this day cannot put explicit references)!

Also with the whole Neurodivergent thing; people are arguing about the script, Jared Bush liking tweets+posting things that have hinted at his neurodivergence. People have been downright rude about headcannons, even when done in a respectful way. It's always folks assuming peoppe make these headcannons JUST because Bruno is the only superstitious one in the film, when the books show him uncomfortable and stressed until he completes his rituals, as well as having it confirmed on twitter he uses them as an emotional crutch. Even outside of his rituals, fans have pointed out mannerisms and body language that are often associated with Neurodivergent people.

This isn't to say all of them have been good, but I wish folks had some more nuance. Some people are really upset at even the possibility their fave *could* be LGBT or ND, and that's what is concerning to me. Latinos can be both. Also try to think about how being those things can impact you in a home with generational trauma and the perfectionism that often accompanies it. It's such a real phenomenon and good mesaage. All of this has reminded me about the Rick and Morty fandom (long ago, I made this comic) and how people ignored the intersectionality of Rick as a character even when that was canon. Obviously with Encanto we don't have confirmations, and it is a more culturally driven story, but the backlash is always there. People would go as dar as to say Sanchez was an alias, or use outright slurs because they couldn't handle their fave being Pansexual amd Autistic, even when the creator confirmed it.

#sorry about the chaos of this I'm just so frustrated seeing it #especially when people start attacking others #encanto #bruno madrigal #luisa madrigal #bruno has ocd #trans luisa #gay bruno #autistic bruno #rick and morty #rick sanchez #rant

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aeonmagnus · 3 years

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Happy 20th Anniversary Robots In Disguise!

This year, and today in particular, marks the 20-year anniversary of Transformers Robots in Disguise airing in the United States. This was the official English language dub of the Japanese show Transformers Car Robots, which aired in Japan the year before. This show and it’s accompanying toy line were a big shift in the Transformers brand and affected how things moved forward in the new millennium. It was also a big influence on me and this website in it’s early years, so both the brand and TFW2005 may not be what it is today without it.

We hope you will read on after the break to check out our celebration of Robots in Disguise on it’s 20th!

Intro

The following is not a comprehensive article on the show proper, but rather a trip down memory lane from my personal perspective. It was a period of change in my life, in the fandom, in the brand, and in the world – all happening at once. Robots in Disguise was smack dab in the middle of it all and I think that’s why it still resonates with me all these years later. For a deeper dive into the world of Robots In Disguise you can check RIDForever.info, a site I maintain just about RID and Car Robots. The 2021 updates are here, and the 2017 round of updates are here. I’d also suggest checking the TFWe issue all about RID over on the 2005 Boards. Now, onto today’s festivities…

The Show

RID, and yes I say RID as if it is the only RID. If you must reference that other RID show and it’s off-shoots, refer to it as RID 201x, thanks. 😊 RID aired during the Fox Kids programming block on a Saturday morning, with additional episodes set to air each weekday during the afternoon hours. Instead of stretching the show out over the course of 30+ weeks with only a new ep each weekend, they were going to blaze through it non-stop. By the end of the first week, we would have been 7 eps in. That however hit a big roadblock due to 9/11 just three days later. While some local markets did air the episodes, many larger city networks, and especially east coast markets, stuck with news coverage. Many of us did not catch the early episodes on TV the first go around. In addition, several of the episodes got pulled from TV due to depictions of buildings being destroyed and other similar visuals which understandably could upset children that just experienced 9/11. So right off the bat, the new millennium and new era of Transformers were dealing with a new reality.

The show, for those that don’t know – was a weird one-off in Transformers history. We had G1 and then the G2 remixes for a bit. Beast Wars came on the scene and ran all the way through 2000 with it’s successor – Beast Machines. During the Beast Wars era – Japan did a couple of their own Beast Wars shows, non-CGI extensions of what we saw in the US. Their market wasn’t quite ready for full CGI so they stuck with traditional anime. When Hasbro decided to continue Beast Wars into Beast Machines, Takara went a completely different way – a traditional animated show which brought back Autobots and “Decepticons”, mixing them in with the beasts. They focused the toys on a couple new and complex molds, then filled the rest of the line with repaints of previous toys. Old 2nd tier Beast Wars toys, G2 Laser Prime, and even some Generation 1 molds in the form of the Combaticons got new life as new characters in this show, capped with the biggest TF of them all at the time – a repainted G1 Fortress Maximus, now Brave Maximus. It was the prototype for what the Transformers brand did for years to come – repainting old toys into new characters. Universe, Classics, Botcon, and even some Generations runs used this method to give us some great toys in the 00s.

While there is a very complicated and long explanation for how every single Japanese show is one continuity, to someone casually starting with Car Robots it was a refresh, a new story, a new arrival on Earth. The Autobots vs the Predacons, and eventually the Combatrons/Decepticons. It was a hard cut from the last 5 years or so of CGI Beasts. Hand drawn traditional animation featuring vehicle Transformers. It wasn’t G1, but many of the folks who grew up with G1 were just getting out of college around this time. They were rediscovering their childhood love of Transformers through Beast Wars, flea market finds, raids on their parents’ attics and basements, and for the internet savvy – imports of Japanese reissues from Takara. It was a perfect storm of nostalgia; a return to Autobots and Decepticons was welcomed by kids and adults alike.

RID and TFW2005

In the years leading up to Car Robots, I was just getting into the internet, coding, design, some digital music, and all the possibility that came with it. Beast Wars, especially when it hit Season 2/3 and the inclusion of G1 lore, really got me focusing on Transformers again as a hobby. I eventually combined the two newfound hobbies into one and Transformer World 2005 was born. At no point did I ever think it would last 20+ years and take over my life in the way it did. I started the full version of TFW2005 around April 2000, with some starts and stops before that. That was right around when Car Robots started airing in Japan. Through the magic of 56k internet, I was able to connect with folks in Japan and get them to send me VHS tapes of Car Robots. Really nice, high-quality tapes too, I still have them hehe. To the younglings reading – try to picture this: no youtube, no video sharing. The concept of streaming anything did not exist yet. Napster and the eventual peer to peer stuff hadn’t fully kicked off. Plus, we were all viewing the internet on giant computers in our rooms at the speed of 1x on your phone. Less than 1 bar 3G mobile speeds today.

Yes, someone recorded episodes from TV to video tape over there, did that a couple weeks at a time, then physically mailed them across the world to me, who then got them on the internet. Can you imagine waiting weeks to watch an episode of TV the size of a twitter profile avatar? Crazy. Uploading a full episode to the internet was a big pain in the ass, not easily done. I decided to get a converter that allowed me to plug my VCR into the computer and encode the tape into digital format. From there, it was reduced using Microsoft’s WMV technology so that the episodes were about 5 MB each. 30 minute episodes at 5MB each. Dimensions – 176 x 144 pixels. 4k video today – 3840 x 2160 pixels. You can imagine that video looked like crap. But we didn’t care – we were blown away. Old school animation, vehicles, some cool Japanese anime vibes, it was what we as G1 fans kinda had in the back of our heads on what Transformers should be in a new era, and we were seeing it. Most of us had no clue what they were saying or what was going on. Also didn’t care. I still to this day think CR/RID is better like that.

So one of the first things TFW2005 did on the internet was provide these super small windows into Car Robots and what was going on in Japan. It helped get US fans hyped up for what Transformers could be. It got us wanting the toys, and importers bringing the Takara toy line over were moving serious product. It helped swing Hasbro, who was planning to return to Autobots and Decepticons again down the road, to move that schedule up. Instead of running Beast Machines until 2002 and then starting what we now know as the Unicron Trilogy, it was cut short. Robots in Disguise as a toy line and show came over in 2001, ran fast and hard for a year with non stop releases, got extended because it did so well, and then faded into the Universe line of repaints. The new millennium of Transformers was here and Robot In Disguise kicked it off with a bang.

Wrap Up

As we all continue with collecting Transformers now, regardless if you tagged into the fandom during G1, Beasties, the Unicron Trilogy, the Movies, or just yesterday – let’s take the time to give Car Robots and RID some props! It set the tone for what the new millennium of the brand would be. It gave us some toys ahead of their time. It solidified the repaint as an accepted thing in the hobby. And it gave us one crazy 39 episode run of TV that’s still a fun ride 20 years later.

For those that would like to learn more about RID and Car Robots – I still maintain a Robots in Disguise website that archives everything I have or came across. There is a lot there if you want to go on a tour of all the awesome Car Robots and Robots In Disguise era stuff. Check it out at RIDFOREVER.INFO! FIYAH!

Let us know what you think and remember from the good old days of RID on the 2005 Boards here!

Epilogue

If someone over there at Hasbro is reading – can someone please figure out who owns the rights to the show in the US market and then get it out on DVD in full, finally? Work all that funky licensing stuff out (if there is any) and get it done. The US has never had access to it via an official release. Maybe get it up on YouTube like G1? Something. Announcing plans for that before the end of 2021 would be a nice 20th anniversary tribute.

#Transformers #Transformers: Robots in Disguise #20th Anniversary #Robots in Disguise #Optimus Prime #Megatron #Car Robots #Transformers: Car Robots

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coffeeandcalligraphy · 2 years

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your works astonish be with the endless layers of character exposition with each paragraph. they never get repetitive and always add more depth! I'm in awe! how do you know your characters so deeply? how do you know what to say about them? you're so amazing.

Wow thank you for this kind message! At the end of my semester right now and I am WIPED so this is just so motivating! ❤️❤️

Can I let you in on a secret? Not sure if it’s an autism thing, but I don’t feel like I know my characters at all besides my Fostered characters. At all might be a slight exaggeration, but really, it’s very difficult for me to feel connected to these strangers that appear outside of the Fostered universe, and for much time, I’d say until I started writing Seventh Virtue last year, I’d even forgotten or struggled to understand my Fostered bbies (legit the most destabilizing experience). I don’t feel like I put a lot of thought into my writing on a conscious level but I’m a big believer in how the subconscious and body impact writer, so I feel my writing and characters more than I logically know about them. I don’t remember their ages most of the time, their names, their backstories, etc. I don’t know what their faces look like (despite drawing them, I don’t see faces when I imagine characters haha). I just approach writing from a place deeper than me that I don’t know how to verbalize just yet in my writing process (it’s why I don’t often give advice on characterization because even though folks seem to think I’m good at it, I just don’t understand what I’m doing that’s effective). I wonder if other autistic writers/ND writers or even NT writers relate to this?? I just see people who know their characters SO well, down to how they’d react in the most specific situations and I just don’t! It could also be the pantser in me—I don’t really care to know XYZ about my characters until it’s necessary in the book. I wish I could be a huge character outliner though, but the reality is that I don’t really know what I’m doing (but won’t question it because it seems to be working lol)!

#asks

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wayward-dreamer · 3 years

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Life’s Lessons - Part 10

Title: Life’s Lessons - A Lesson in Love and Hope

Pairing: Mechanic!Dean x Female!Teacher!Reader

Other Characters: OFCs: Jill (Y/N’s sister), Evie and Mia (Y/N’s nieces), OMC: Brian (Y/N’s brother-in-law)

Word Count: 6,385 (notes in bold, thoughts, texts, song lyrics in italics).

Part Summary: As Christmas time approaches, Y/N and Dean are sad they can’t spend this time together as she goes home to New York for the holidays. However, their Christmas presents to each other prove that they have a future together.

Warnings: Slight angst, brief mention of reader’s exes, Dean’s self-deprecation rears its ugly head (slightly), Dean being sweet (yes, that’s a warning), Fluff (yes, it’s true, you read that correctly lol)

Music: It’s Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas by Jason Manns (Y/N at the airport scene), Let It Snow by Bing Crosby (playing in the background of Y/N and her sister girl talk scene), Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas by Jensen Ackles and Jason Manns (Christmas Eve scenes)

Life’s Lessons Spotify Playlist

A/N: It’s a Christmas chapter! Yay! Great timing as it’s the first day of the holiday season! Thank you to everyone who has been reading and loving this series. I never thought it would get as much love as it has, and I’m so grateful to every single one of you! There’s only 5 parts and an epilogue left after this, I can’t believe we’re almost at the end, but there’s still quite a bit of story to tell. I’m so excited for you guys to see what happens! Happy reading and enjoy! :)

Life’s Lessons Masterlist

Dividers by the wonderful @firefly-graphics! Check her out for all your AU needs, and for festive themes!!!

Y/N smiled as she watched the kids rushing out the front doors of the school. It was officially the end of the day and the start of the holidays. She pulled her coat a little tighter around herself, as she called out to some students to be careful on the sidewalk, as it had snowed overnight. It was December 22nd, and school had let out early. In a few short hours, she was flying out to New York to spend the holidays with her family. She was nervous about the weather and was praying that her flight wouldn’t be grounded. She was also nervous to be headed home but considering Ethan had made the permanent move to L.A. she doubted he would be there.

She went back into the school and quickly packed up her things. She said goodbye to all the teachers and to Chuck and walked out with Cas and Charlie.

“Alright, here” Charlie said, as she handed her a small present in the parking lot.

“Oh Charlie, thank you” Y/N smiled, as she took it and handed one over to her as well. Y/N opened the gift, smiling as she saw the earrings she wanted during a time when she and Charlie had gone shopping, but didn’t buy.

Charlie hugged her after opening hers, a beautiful scarf that had her favorite colors.

Cas and Y/N exchanged gifts too, a new tie, white with little books on it for him because “blue may be your color, but you can branch out” and a leather-bound journal for her.

“Merry Christmas” all three of them hugged and called out to each other before they drove home.

Y/N hurried to get home as she still had a few more things to pack before she left in the evening. She had messaged Mark a few days after the incident with him, telling him that it was really over and to never call her, ever again. So far, it seemed like he had gotten the message, having not tried to contact her at all in the last few weeks. She was incredibly thankful for that. She was also thankful that in that time, she and Dean had been hanging out a lot, too. It was all very innocent and simple, just watching movies and making dinner together, or ordering take-out if they didn’t feel like cooking, after they both finished work. After that first night when they slept in her bed, they hadn’t done more than that. She was beginning to wonder when Dean would ask her out, and whether she should just ask him. Though she knew that maybe they just needed a little more time.

When she got home, she unzipped her boots and walked around in socked feet. She picked her suitcase which was half packed already and put it on the bed. She started putting some clothes and shoes and other items that she would need, including a few last-minute presents for her nieces.

Once she was finally finished packing, Y/N got changed into the clothes she’d be wearing to travel. A loose, grey, high-neck sweater and dark grey scarf, black pants and her grey coat, and white sneakers to make it easier on her feet in the airport. She had her carry-on and check-in bags ready by the door, needing both for this trip as she had to carry so many presents with her. She couldn’t wait to see her family after so many months away from them.

Dean shrugged on a thicker plaid shirt, wrapped a scarf around his neck and then his brown leather jacket. He picked up the rectangle shaped present he had wrapped horribly (he had never been good at that) and opened the front door, leaving the house and closing it.

He walked down the porch steps and across the path in his front yard, where he had cleared the snow off to the sides. He walked across the street and down the path of Y/N’s yard, which he had cleared for her, walking up her porch steps. He stood in front of the door and let out a big breath, pushing the doorbell. He had her present in his hand and he wanted to give it to her at that very moment. He had enlisted Dorothy’s help in finding it for Y/N, after an idea popped into his head and he couldn’t get rid of it. Considering Dorothy had connections, she had managed to get him a decent price on it; it was expensive but at least it didn’t cost him an absolute fortune once she haggled the price down.

The door opened, and Y/N was shocked to see Dean standing there. She stood at the threshold and admired how adorable he looked all rugged up to protect himself from the cold.

“Hi” she smiled, softly.

“Hi” he smirked, walking in when she stepped aside. “You leaving soon?”

“Yeah, my cab should be here any minute” she said, shutting the door.

Dean nodded, as he handed the present over to her. “Here.”

“Oh, Dean” she smiled at him, as she took it from him. “I was going to leave yours at your door, but-” she stopped herself as she tucked the present under her arm, gesturing for him to wait and walked into her office.

Dean watched as she came back, carrying a large, thin, rectangular shape wrapped up in silver wrapping and a giant red ribbon, tied into a bow.

“This is for you” she smiled, handing it over to him. “But you can’t open it until midnight, after Christmas Eve is over.”

“Okay. Wow. Thanks” he said, looking over it and wondering what the hell it was. “You can’t open yours till then, either.”

“New York’s an hour ahead” she laughed.

“Doesn’t matter. We both open them on our midnight. Deal?” he asked, smirking.

“Deal” she nodded, with a smile.

“So… New York. I’m glad you’ll get to see your folks for the holidays” he said, his smirk fading away knowing that she’d be so far away. He was happy for her, though. She deserved to see her family after so many months away.

“I can’t wait” she beamed. “Just to see them all, hug and cuddle my little nieces, soak up the holiday spirit.”

“That’s great.” He smirked. Seeing her love for her family made him positive that his own would love her, and she would love them.

He looked down at the present in her hand and smirked. He really hoped that it would let her know what he felt for her. Y/N looked at the present she got him and hoped that he’d like it. It was something for his new building where he was going to have the restoration garage. It would look amazing in his office, there.

A car horn honking pulled them out of their thoughts, and Y/N glanced down at her watch. She looked up at him smiling brightly.

“Merry Christmas, Dean” she said.

“Merry Christmas, Y/N” he smirked.

She moved in and wrapped her arms around his neck. His automatically came around her waist, pulling her into the hug. They held each other for a moment, basking in each other’s touch, their eyes closed. They jumped apart as the car horn sounded again.

Y/N laughed as she gathered her things. “I’ll see you when I get back.”

“Yeah” he agreed. “Here, let me help.”

Dean placed his huge present outside on the porch as Y/N walked out and closed the door to her house, locking it securely. Dean walked down the porch steps, with her check-in suitcase, putting it in the trunk of the cab. Y/N walked down and opened the door to the backseat, as Dean took her carry-on and put that in the trunk as well. She waited for a moment, as Dean walked over to her after closing the trunk. She really wished she could stay back and spend time with him, but she had to see her family. She was really looking forward to it, but she couldn’t help but feel sad that she wouldn’t be with Dean.

He looked down at her, looking as beautiful as the day he first saw her. He hated that he wouldn’t get to see her over Christmas and New Years’, wishing that she could stay back, and they could spend the holidays together. He wished he could see the look on her face when she opened the present from him, but he would have to settle for hearing whether she liked it or not. He was really going to miss her. Kiss her! He thought to himself as he continued to look at her. Before he could think twice, he leaned in, pressing his lips against hers, softly.

It didn’t take long for it to deepen, as Y/N wrapped her arms around his neck. She smiled into the kiss, as he pulled her closer, their lips moving against each other’s. They were finally in each other’s arms again. There was so much behind the kiss; a promise of more to come, a promise of their future together, a promise of things being better for both of them. Y/N was the one to pull away, regretfully, but she had a plane to catch. “I really have to go” she said, frowning as she looked up at him. “But um… it’s about time you did that” she said, biting her lip.

Dean groaned when he saw her do that. “Don’t, sweetheart, or I won’t let you get on that plane.”

She laughed as she stopped. “Bye.” She leaned in and pecked his lips.

“Bye” he said, returning her smile.

With one last glance at him, she got into the cab. Dean watched it drive away with a smile on his face. He suddenly couldn’t wait to see her again.

Y/N eyes scanned over the crowds at the airport, trying to spot her dad. She had shoved her way through baggage claim and picked up her check-in and was now trying to find her father through the throngs of people embracing each other, excited to get their holiday celebrations underway. By the time they had a quick lay-over in Atlanta and flew into New York, it was 8.30pm, which was the scheduled time, and she was incredibly thankful to whatever higher power there was that got her there. It was still a 2-hour drive to Rhinebeck, and her family would most likely be sleeping by the time she got home, but at least she’d see them properly in the morning.

As the crowd around her cleared, she spotted her father and beamed as he saw her too, waving frantically. She rushed over to him and launched herself into his arms, hugging him tightly. She felt tears prick her eyes as she laughed, happy to finally see him again.

“Oh sweetie, let me look at you” he said, pulling away from the hug and holding her at arms’ length. “You look different.” He eyed her, his brows knitted together.

“I’m still the same me, dad” she shrugged, laughing slightly.

“It’s so good to see you” he smiled, his eyes glistening. “Come on, let’s go.”

As they walked out of the airport, a bearded man with glasses was jamming “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas” on his guitar. His case was open in front of him, and Y/N quickly walked over, dropping a 20-dollar bill in.

“Thanks” he smiled. “Merry Christmas!”

“Merry Christmas!” she called back and then hurried over to her dad, who was wheeling her bags to the parking lot. She smiled as she walked beside him; Christmas was her favorite holiday, and it was already off to a great start.

The drive back home was filled with Y/N catching up on everything she had missed. Her dad told her that her mom was going crazy with excitement of her being there soon and was making sure everything was perfect. Y/N laughed; her mom didn’t need to do anything extra to make things special considering it always would be no matter what, but she wouldn’t be her mom if she didn’t.

When they arrived home, Y/N gasped as she saw the house decorated so beautifully. The lights and decorations on the house were as stunning as always, and she was glad she got to see them again. As they went in, Y/N laughed quietly to herself as saw her mother, fast asleep on one couch, and her brother-in-law asleep on the other. Her sister and the kids were most likely asleep upstairs.

“I’ll get them up, you go upstairs” her dad whispered. “Brian can carry that up.” He gestured to her large suitcase.

“Thanks, dad” she whispered, as she quietly walked up the stairs with her carry-on.

She walked to her old bedroom and flicked on the light. She laughed slightly as she saw it still hadn’t changed at all since before she left for college. All her Backstreet Boys and NSYNC posters were still up on one wall, her Led Zeppelin ones still up on the other. She really had an eclectic taste in music. She heard a soft knock on the door and turned, seeing her brother-in-law, Brian, walk in with her suitcase. She smiled as she walked over, hugging him tightly.

“Jill’s gonna freak in the morning. I tried waking her up but Evie’s practically sleeping on top of her” Brian said, laughing slightly.

“I’ll catch them in the morning” she said, folding her arms across her chest.

Brian nodded, smiling at her. “It’s good to have you home. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight” she said, watching him leave and shut the door behind him.

Y/N quickly got changed for bed and slipped under the covers. As she drifted off, she couldn’t wait to see everyone else in the morning.

It was great to be home.

“Auntie Y/N!” a little voice yelled as it barrelled through Y/N’s room and bounced up on the bed.

Y/N gasped and flinched as a little body flung itself over her. She relaxed when she realized where she was, and held her 5-year-old niece, Evie tighter.

“I’m so happy you’re here” she smiled down at Y/N.

“So am I, sweetie” Y/N smiled, rocking her side to side as she didn’t let go.

Y/N looked up at the door when she saw her sister standing against the doorframe, holding her 8-month-old niece, Mia on her hip.

“This one wants to say hi, too” Jill said, smiling.

Y/N got up from bed, Evie stuck to her leg as she walked over to her sister. She hugged her tight, feeling a few tears escape down her face.

“I missed you, so much” Y/N said, holding Jill tighter.

“I missed you too” Jill said, pulling away and smiling at her.

Y/N smiled as she saw the baby. She was so big now, having only been 4 months when she left for Lawrence. She reached for her, but little Mia scrunched her face up, squirming into her mother.

“This one needs to be fed, so you get cleaned up and come downstairs. Mom’s making breakfast” Jill said, kissing Y/N’s cheek and taking the girls out of the room.

Y/N quickly brushed her teeth and threw her robe on over her pyjamas. She raced down the stairs and into the kitchen, smiling when she saw her mom’s back as she stood at the stove.

“Mom” Y/N said, as she walked over.

Her mom turned around and nearly started crying on the spot. She rushed over and took Y/N in her arms, hugging her tight.

“Oh, I’m so glad you’re here” her mom said to her as she pulled away, wiping her eyes.

“Me too” Y/N smiled.

“Alright, the pancakes are almost done. So, sit down and help yourself, and everyone else will down soon” her mom said, gesturing to the table that was already set.

“Can’t I help with something?” Y/N asked, frowning.

“No, you just got here, honey. Relax, we’ll put you to work tomorrow” her mom laughed, as she playfully shoved her towards the dining table.

Y/N laughed and shook her head as she walked over, licking her lips at the sight of the delicious breakfast.

After a great breakfast with her family, Y/N helped Evie decorate another gingerbread house, because the two she did with grandma yesterday weren’t enough. Jill sat with Mia on her lap, across from Y/N at the dining table, as Let It Snow played in the background through the house. Brian had gone back to their house to get some more bottles for the baby, and her parents had rushed out to deliver some homemade Christmas cake to their friends. So, Y/N was glad she and her sister were alone for a while, to have some proper girl talk.

“So…” Jill trailed off, as she distracted the baby with her toy, and tried to ice a piece of the gingerbread house with one hand. “How are things with Mark?”

Y/N smiled, sheepishly, feeling guilty she hadn’t told her sister yet. “Things are… over.”

“What?” Jill asked, wide eyes looking up at her.

Y/N shrugged, as she iced one part of the roof for the gingerbread house. “Things got a little… complicated.”

“Well, considering I only know whatever you told me up to the third date, I need the specifics” Jill said, shifting Mia when she started to fuss.

“I know, I’m sorry I haven’t talked to you in a while” Y/N frowned, looking up at her sister.

“It’s okay, Y/N. Don’t apologize. I mean, we’ve both been busy” Jill laughed slightly, gesturing her head between her two daughters.

Y/N looked at Evie sitting next to her and smiled, seeing her niece in full concentration as she decorated, her tongue sticking out.

“This one has to leave, though” Y/N said, looking at Evie and then Jill.

Jill nodded in understanding. “Evie, honey. Can you stop what you’re doing for a second?”

“What is it, mommy?” Evie asked, her big eyes looking at her mom.

“Can you make sure all the presents are kept neatly under the tree?” Jill asked her in return.

“Okay” she replied, simply, not understanding why she had to go but doing it anyway.

Once she was out of earshot, Jill turned to Y/N. “Okay. Spill.”

Y/N took the next few moments to tell Jill everything that had happened with Mark.

“Fuck” Jill remarked, not knowing what to say.

“Yeah” Y/N nodded.

A short pause fell between them as Jill thought about everything her sister just told her.

“Why didn’t you say anything sooner?” Jill asked, her eyes teary.

“I didn’t want you guys to worry about me” Y/N replied, shaking her head. “And don’t tell mom and dad, they’d freak out. I’ll tell them myself at a later stage.”

Jill sighed, but nodded. “Okay.”

“Thank you” Y/N smiled, softly. She bit her lip, wondering if she should tell her sister about Dean too. Maybe it was too soon?

Jill tapped her fingers on the table as she watched her sister, her face looking like her brain was overloaded with thoughts.

“There’s something else” Jill said, knowingly. “Isn’t there?”

Y/N looked at her sister, tentatively. She wasn’t sure if she should say it or not.

Jill cocked her head to the side, a smile gracing her face as she understood. “Who is he?”

Y/N scoffed, impressed with her sister’s intuition.

She spent another couple of minutes telling Jill everything about Dean. She felt a smile tug at her lips as she talked about him. After everything she had been through in the past, and then with Mark, she thought for minute back there she’d never be able to think of dating someone again, but things were different with Dean.

“So… when you get back, what’s going to happen?” Jill asked, curious about what she was thinking of doing.

“I… don’t know, but… I know that he’s it now” Y/N replied, her smile growing.

Jill smiled. “I gotta say, I’ve never seen you like this. Yeah sure, you’ve been with a few guys, but this is different.”

“It feels different this time” Y/N nodded. “I don’t want to get my hopes up, but… it feels like this is it. And I know he’s some years older than me, but that doesn’t matter to me.”

Truth be told, men who were slightly older than her were a turn on for her. Plus, she had only ever been with guys her own age. Maybe it was time for a change.

In that moment, Y/N’s baby niece started to fuss in Jill’s lap.

“Oh, honey. You can’t be hungry, I just fed you” Jill said, frowning as she didn’t know what was wrong.

Y/N got up and walked over to their side of the table. She slowly picked up the baby and held her close, lightly bouncing her. Little Mia smiled and Jill smiled, too.

“She just needs a little lovin’ from her aunt” Y/N smiled, kissing her niece’s chubby cheek.

Jill admired her sister with the baby. “You look good like that.”

“Stop” Y/N laughed, shaking her head. She didn’t need those thoughts in her head at that moment. She had always loved children, and couldn’t wait to have her own, but she wondered if Dean was the one who she would have them with. Did he even want any?

The doorbell rang and interrupted them. Y/N gave little Mia back to Jill and walked to the front door. She screamed when she opened it and saw Katie smiling at her. The friends hugged tightly, laughing.

“I’m so glad you’re here!” Katie said, swaying them side to side.

“Me too” Y/N tearfully told her, letting go of her and letting her into the house. “You just missed girl talk, though.”

“Well, catch me up. I’m all ears” Katie said, walking into the house, taking off her coat.

Y/N laughed as she followed behind her, ready to divulge everything she told Jill to her best friend as well.

The next day brought a whirlwind of familial chaos, as Y/N’s family got everything ready for Christmas Eve dinner. Christmas carols were playing in the background, as her mom worked on the ham, her dad helped with all the sides and her sister was in charge of decorating the rest of the house, the table and setting it. Brian was keeping the kids entertained and Y/N was making pudding and few other treats for dessert.

It took all day, but they finally got everything ready and in time for dinner. As everyone got dressed and ready, Y/N took some time to admire the house. The lights were dimmed, the candles were lit, and everything was bathed in a beautiful glow. The lights on the tree were shining, and the fireplace crackled, adding to the ambience of the room. She was so glad to be here with her family and to spend this time with them.

Have yourself a merry little Christmas,

Let your heart be light

From now on,

Our troubles will be out of sight

She quickly had a shower, and then got ready for dinner in a red, A-line dress, with sleeves that came to her mid-forearm. She pinned her Y/H/C hair into a bun, a few strands framing her face. She put on her nude heels and then went downstairs to join her family.

Dinner was absolutely divine, and her mom had outdone herself, yet again. Everything from the ham to the pudding for dessert was perfect, and everyone was absolutely stuffed by the end. They all relaxed on the couch and sang some carols, drank eggnog and enjoyed the fact that they were all together again. For the first time in a long time, Y/N had no fear about Ethan or Mark, or any of the other troubles she had had in the past. All she needed was her family and hoped that the man who she had fallen in love from the minute she saw him, would also be a permanent figure in her life.

Have yourself a merry little Christmas,

Make the Yule-tide gay,

From now on,

Our troubles will be miles away

It was pretty much the same vibe over at the Winchesters.

Mary had assigned jobs for everyone, stating to the boys that they weren’t getting out of it just because they didn’t live at home anymore. She made Eileen and Sam come early as well as Dean, so that they could all do their assigned jobs.

Once everything was ready before dinner, everyone put on their ugly Christmas sweaters, a Winchester tradition that was something silly but fun. Bobby, Ellen and Jo arrived, and they all greeted each other. They sat around talking and laughing as they ate, and afterwards sat around on the couches, listening to carols while drinking eggnog. No one trusted Sam with it anymore, so it was Eileen’s job to mix it since she joined their family. Dean smiled as he looked around at his family, content for the first time in years.

Here we are as in olden days,

Happy golden days of yore

Loving friends who are dear to us,

Gather near to us once more

However, Dean was the first one to notice when Eileen wasn’t drinking any. He gestured to her and then signed “are you okay?”, which was just one of the things of what little he knew, but he was trying to get better at it. She nodded and then smiled at Sam. They had a small conversation between themselves, before Sam turned to everyone with a huge smile on his face.

“Well, now’s as good a time as any to tell you… we’re having a baby” he said, beaming. “Eileen’s 16 weeks in.”

Dean’s eyes widened but his smile grew as he got up, and hugged his brother first, Mary and Eileen hugging as Mary cried. Everyone hugged the expecting parents, before they all sat back down.

“Congratulations, guys” Dean said, as he returned to one side of the couch. “That’s awesome, seriously.”

Sam smiled as he kissed Eileen’s cheek. “Thanks, Dean.”

“Oh, I can’t wait for my first grandchild!” Mary exclaimed, as John kissed her head.

Dean’s mind wandered off as Eileen and Sam were talking about moving into a bigger place. Mary was listening intently, but Dean couldn’t focus on the conversation. He couldn’t have been happier for his little brother and sister-in-law. They were going to make great parents; he knew that to be the absolute truth. However, he couldn’t help but feel an unexpected sadness wash over him. He never thought of himself as the “having kids” type of guy, hell, he never pictured himself in a serious relationship. That was when he was younger though. As he got older, he realized he wanted those things, and even though he was happy for Sam, he felt a little jealous sometimes that his little brother would have all of that before he did.

The last year of his life had been a waste, as he tried to salvage a relationship with Lisa. He couldn’t help but think where he would be if he had broken up with her a year ago. Mostly likely with Y/N as soon as she got to Lawrence he thought as he tried to concentrate on the conversation his family was having. It was no use though, as his mind continued torment him with the possibilities that could’ve been, if he had just claimed his freedom sooner.

Dean silently excused himself and walked out to the back porch of his childhood home. He let out a long breath, seeing it cloud up in the cold. He sipped the eggnog, feeling the kick of the alcohol warm him up. He smiled sadly as he thought about Y/N, so far away from him, in New York with her own family. He wondered what she wanted from life and whether their wants would align, whether having a family was something she wanted or not. He really hoped so.

“Merry freakin’ Christmas” he mumbled to himself. He never had a problem with being alone, but as he got older it had started to become a fear for him. Maybe that was why it took so long to see the whole truth with Lisa.

“Sure is” he heard someone say behind him. He turned and saw his mom standing behind him.

“I’ll be back in soon, mom” he said, turning away from her.

“Actually” she started as she stood next to him and faced him. “I was thinking we could talk.”

“About?” he asked, staring down at his eggnog.

Mary was quiet for a moment before she spoke. “Who is she?”

Dean scoffed as he closed his eyes. Of course his mom had figured it out.

He opened his eyes and looked at her, his jaw clenched. “She’s… she’s the best person I’ve ever known and… I have no idea if I should do anything about this because honestly, she deserves more than me.”

“Isn’t that up to her?” Mary asked, knowingly. “If you’re spending so much time with her, and I know you have because I’ve hardly seen you over the last few weeks, then doesn’t that mean that she wants to give you a chance?”

Dean blinked a few times as he took in what Mary just said. “I guess.”

“Then all you have to is take the leap” Mary smiled.

Dean nodded slowly, scrubbing a hand down his face. “Yeah.”

Mary nodded. “Just know, you have to bring her here because we need to meet her.”

Dean groaned and laughed, shaking his head. “Great.”

Mary smiled, leaning over to kiss his cold cheek. “Come inside soon, it’s way too cold.”

“I will” he promised as he watched her go back in.

Dean smirked as he thought about how Y/N would actually fit in with his family. He knew he needed to muster up the courage and just ask her out. Let go of the fear that had developed because of everything that had happened with Lisa. Maybe it was too soon after, but the truth was, he didn’t want more time. He was ready to be happy.

Through the years

We all be together,

If the Fates allow

Hang a shining star upon the highest bough.

At midnight, Y/N and her family all wished each other a Merry Christmas, before they cleared everything up and each of them headed to bed. They would be up in several hours again, to open the presents anyway. As she went upstairs, there was one thing she needed to do before she headed to bed. Walking into her room, she shut the door and walked over to her carry-on bag. She opened it and found the present from Dean. She moved the bag back to the floor and then sat down on her bed, the present in her hand.

She laughed a little as she saw the envelope on it had her name but also “READ AFTER OPENING” in Dean’s all caps writing. She opened the wrapping, frowning when the thing was wrapped in brown paper as well. She unwrapped the brown paper, noticing that it was a very old but beautiful, hardcover book. She frowned again, but as she turned the book around and saw the spine, she gasped loudly.

In her hand, was an early edition of her favorite novel of all time, Jane Eyre. Y/N’s eyes widened as they started to well up with tears. She remembered telling him it was her favorite at dinner with him. It was yet another thing he remembered about her, the Led Zeppelin album being the first. She felt the tears rolling down her face as she opened the book, slowly flicking through it. She closed it and hugged it to her chest. She couldn’t believe he had done this for her.

She put the book in her lap and picked up the envelope, opening it and sliding the card out. Opening the card, she smiled through tears as she read his words.

Merry Christmas, sweetheart.

I hate that you’re not here with me, but I can’t wait until you’re back. There’s a lot that I wanna say, but I’ve never been good with words. So, I’m just gonna do my best.

I’ve never been surer of anything, than I am that you’re the greatest person that I’ll ever know. You’re beautiful, smart, strong as all hell, and have the kindest heart of anyone I know. I know how freaking lucky I am that you’re in my life.

I hope this present lets you know how much you mean to me. How much you’ll always mean to me.

Y/N, this is it for me. You’re it for me. I need you to know that.

Have an amazing time with your family and I’ll see you as soon as you get back.

Dean

She laughed through her tears, shaking her head. She had never been surer of anything either; that he was the greatest man she had ever known. That she was so madly in love with him, and she couldn’t wait to tell him that someday.

And have yourself a merry little Christmas

When it reached midnight in Kansas, Dean said a quick “Merry Christmas” to everyone, but everyone kept wondering why he was heading off so quickly.

“You know, you can just stay the night to open presents in the morning” Mary told him as she handed out warm cider to everybody.

“No, there’s uh… something I gotta do” Dean said, putting his jacket on.

“Something or… someone?” Jo asked, smiling suspiciously.

“Shut up, Jo” he groaned, glaring at her.

Jo laughed as she and Sam looked at each other.

“Seriously, what’s the rush, kid?” Bobby asked, curiously.

“Can a man not have a little time to himself anymore? Jeez” Dean grumbled, shaking his head.

“Alright, everyone leave him alone” Mary said, calming everyone down. “He’ll be back soon anyway.” She leaned in and kissed his cheek, patting his shoulder.

He would be back in several hours anyway to open presents with everyone, but at that moment he had to see what was awaiting him.

When he got home, he walked over to the big present from Y/N, resting against a wall in his living room. He chuckled as he looked over the size of it, wondering what the hell she had gotten him. He opened the large bow, letting it fall away. He dug his finger into the edge of the wrapping and ripped it open, at every side to see the present more clearly.

“Holy shit” he gasped as his mouth open in awe.

The present was a large black frame, with a black and white photo of his beloved Baby, shining away in the sun. It looked like his backyard in the background of it, and he had to wonder how she took this photo. On the corner of the frame was an envelope with his name written on it. He took it and opened it, smirking as he saw her handwriting.

Merry Christmas, Dean!

I took this photo for you to hang in your new office at the restoration site. There’s nothing better to convince the customers to bring their cars to you than a picture of Baby.

I’m so proud of you for everything you’re working towards. It’s going to bring so many amazing things your way; don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

I hope that the new year brings you everything you wish for, because if there’s anyone who deserves it, it’s you. You’ve been an amazing support to me, and I’ll never forget everything you’ve done for me. Ever.

I can’t wait to see you when I get back and just be near you again.

Y/N xx

He smirked as he read over the note a few times. She really was something else. He couldn’t believe that someone like her would want someone like him, but he knew how lucky he was that she was in his life.

And have yourself a merry little Christmas

He looked at the clock and saw that it was ten past midnight, which meant it was ten past 1am in New York. Y/N was probably asleep, but he really wanted to speak to her. He sent her a quick text, asking if she was awake. When he got a reply instantly that she was, he dialled her number. In New York, Y/N sat up instantly when her phone rang and picked it up.

“Hi” she said, smiling. “Dean, I… I don’t even know what to say.”

“Did I make the English teacher speechless?” he teased with a smirk on his face.

“Yes” she admitted. “Dean, it’s… thank you. Thank you for everything you’ve done for me.”

Dean smiled. “Well, it’s like I’ve said before, sweetheart. You don’t ever have to thank me.”

“Did you… did you mean it? What you said?” she asked. She already knew it was the truth, but she just needed to hear it. She just needed to know for certain.

“Yes” he replied. There was no pause. No hesitation.

Y/N felt tears welling up in her eyes all over again. “You’re… you’re it for me, too.”

Dean smiled, feeling like his heart would burst from her confession that she felt the same.

“Thanks for the photo. It’s so freaking awesome, Y/N” he smirked as he looked over at it.

“You’re welcome” she said, smiling. “But Dean, now our presents are totally uneven. This would’ve been so expensive-” she said as she picked the book, but Dean cut her off.

“Hey, no. It’s not about that, okay? I knew… I knew that I wanted you to have it. Plus, with Dorothy’s help it wasn’t too expensive, so we’re good” he reassured her.

“Okay” she said, nodding.

Dean looked up at the time and knew he should end the call. “I should let you go. Merry Christmas, Y/N.”

“Merry Christmas, Dean” she smiled as they both hung up the phone.

That morning, as they fell asleep for a few more hours before they had to wake up again, even with miles and miles between them, they fell asleep with dreams of each other. They fell into a peaceful slumber, knowing this was the start of something magical for both of them.

And have yourself a merry little Christmas now

-x-

Tags: @flamencodiva @deanwanddamons @winchest09 @katehuntington @akshi8278 @hobby27 @michellethetvaddict @spngirl05 @kyjey @halesandy @440mxs-wife @stoneyggirl @deanswaywardgirl @wonder-cole @that-one-gay-girl @redbarn1995 @marianita195 @babypink224221 @deans-baby-momma @parinarain @thoughts-and-funnies @mandalou29 @castiels-a-winchester @ellewritesfix05 @jerkbitchidjitassbutt @supraveng @roonyxx @supernatural-love14 @vicmc624 @prettyboyswow @lunarmoon8

#Life's Lessons #Dean x Female!Reader #Dean x Female!Reader Series #Dean x Female!Reader Fanfiction #Female!Reader Insert #Mechanic!Dean #Teacher!Reader #Dean x Reader Fanfiction #Dean Winchester Series #Dean Winchester Fanfiction #Dean Winchester Fanfic #Supernatural Fanfiction

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child-of-peace · 3 years

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Reasons why I perceive Yasha Nydoorin as autistic

I saw someone talking about how Caleb was one of the few CR characters who was ND and given that I actually latched onto Yasha as ND, I wanted to explore her side of it!

As per usual, this is just my reading of the character, based off my own experiences with autism, other people may read the character differently.

She’s quite quiet and reserved. She often lets others lead conversations and doesn’t put herself into social situations when unnecessary or when she doesn’t feel that she can contribute to them.

Her sentimentality. Like some autistic folk do, she attaches sentimental value onto things (like the clover from Molly and the flowers she is collecting for Zuala) and this is, in part, how she interacts with the world.

Her difficulty with social communication. This is largely because of her low charisma, which is a mood, because I’ve started describing my own social difficulties as me having low charisma.

Her bluntness and dry humour. Yasha can often speak quite abruptly and her jokes are often said without any jokey tone, so the others take her seriously.

The way she struggles to connect with people, but once she does, she makes it clear that they mean a lot to her. This is especially clear with her and Molly’s friendship, but can also be seen in her friendship with Jester and her relationship with Beau.

She seems to constantly feel the need to say how much the M9 means to her. (Mood.) She often says “You all are my family” which is most likely due to a fear of being misconstrued or having people not understand how much you love them because the way you love is different from the way they love.

The moment in the date when she thinks Beau is handing her something when she’s actually asking for her hand. This one was very relatable for me, because it can be so easy to misinterpret someone’s actions and then panic and try to explain it.

“I was trying to do the thing, like I killed my family, I’ll throw you under a bridge. I’m learning how to people.” This was a big one, especially with how she was trying to match Nott’s tone with an idiom. Also with her trying to sound “trendy” by using Nott’s “idiom”.

Her finding it easier to convey her thoughts in writing. Especially given that talking is a whole minefield.

Her need to know the precise instructions for stopping Nott’s drinking. Basically finding all possible loopholes to make sure that she’s getting the rules clear, so that she doesn’t misunderstand what she’s supposed to do.

It seems to be implied, at least when she’s making jokes, that her expression doesn’t really change.

The time she accidentally spilled too much about herself, leading people to believe she might be a Xhorhassian spy. This is just that moment when she wasn’t completely clear on how much she was supposed to say, so she just spoke and also because it makes more sense in her mind to say the truth.

The fear (or at the very least doubt) she has about her place in the group.

And, as @yaboywillyshakes pointed out, mimicking Jester’s accent (perhaps unintentionally) in 128. This scene also includes a moment where Yasha accidentally echoes Jester’s phrase (saying her own name instead of switching to first person) and only realises halfway through that she should switch it. This is the point that Jester switches to first person to make it easier for Yasha to follow her lead.

And now: Quotes!

“Yep! Nice to meet you... all, you’re so, uh, wonderful.”

“He sounds like a great... so many adventures... with travelling”

(To Caleb, about them both being socially awkward) “Yeah, I mean, if someone has a conversation with me, I will... I will talk to them...” ... “Yeah, sometimes I think it’s been pretty bad even, y’know, for me sometimes watching you”

(To Nott) “I didn’t have a funeral for you...” ... “I didn’t know if you were actually gone!”

“We came here for the... shit... the special cut. We have some cut in the back. What?”

“Do you come here often?”

If you have any more, whether it be quotes or autistic traits, please feel free to add them!

#Yasha Nydoorin #Critical Role #Actually Autistic #Autistic headcanon #I just love her so much #And Ashley herself being an introvert and speaking openly about it is great

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sugarvamgar · 3 years

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you ever make some Bastards? anfisa and valentine! also the context of the little labels on valentine’s sheet is to like, number the parts of the story for me and my friend who’s working on this so we know when the hell in the story we’re talking abtsgddfg anyways more info abt them under the cut .. i love these bastards...

these two are in the same world as some of my other ocs - you can find them in my neontok tag under rum’s post for more information about the world nd stuff! if you do not want to look at it tldr its just me putting my more uh. “darker” concepts?? like these two! let’s continue into more info tho: so like, context! in this world, there’s this group of seven assassins who’s existence is.. very speculated. like, they’re a common myth. maybe not among all of society all around the world, but most people have heard folk stories of their existence at some point in their life. this group of assassins has existed for literal hundreds of years, and nobody knows how or why, so they just.. assume it’s a story. a myth. but it’s Not. the “seven” is actually countless people who have been trained throughout their family’s bloodlines as a tradition with every other generation’s first child - or in the case of assassins One and Two, the first two siblings. they’re all basically trained to do the exact same stuff as the original seven did, too. other than One and Two, the children don’t necessarily know each other, especially because usually they’re in completely different countries. anyways so, anfisa here used to be part of this. he was assassin Three, born and raised in russia, pretty much the only assassin of the seven to not be trained to be sneaky and quiet bc most of what he does is loud on purpose. he does know how to blend in among people normally and how to scramble away from people without getting hurt, but man. he is NOT graceful like the other six. he ends up defecting from the assassins (which is just him going. huh. fuck this <3) and leaving to not-america and goes. i will live a normal life now. �� he ends up going. oh wait actually i hate how society is and how much of this city is controlled via bribes and crimes - what if i just. actively tried to cement myself in that world. what if i did crimes? i already did them before. he ends up gaining a mild following of people for this and they help him to do this.. the dude who runs the Local Crime Syndicate™ (at least, the largest one), jack, gets. very pissed off about this once anfisa’s group grows large enough scale. he employs this highly revered journalist bc in jack’s mind this goes. “oh, this guy is SO very good at picking people apart and getting into their business, and my stupid police force isn’t doing their fucking job right (lol), i’ll hire this dude. if he dies its barely any loss on my part. the journalist is valentine <3 idk his first name but he’s valentine and he is SO full of anxiety and has so much in common with anfisa about Hating Authority nd shit. this is a mistake on jack’s part who is blind as hell and cannot read valentine’s old articles + thinks he can bribe him with money to do whatever. valentine goes. <:( okay i will try i hate this but also money and also you are pointing guns at me and threatening to kill me if i Dont take the money and do this. valentine ends up joining anfisa and goes from anxious timid british (lol) bastard to mildly terrifying and willing to organize and command a group of people with anfisa who are actively trying to like, overthrow a straight up crime syndicate organization thing that Also has quite a large hold on a lot of businesses and government related stuff in the city. and SUCCEEDS for the most part. he is very good at this and it scares the group so much esp with the fact that it grows from like 6 or 7 people to like, over 50 or more in like.. a year. shoutout to anfisa he intentionally picks on valentine bc he thinks this guy is cute. when valentine is lowkey stalking getting research on anfisa/the group, anfisa notices and goes. :) im going to make your life so very difficult but in an only slightly annoying way. you got knocked out one day so i stole your tie and then the next time you saw me on the news you saw me wearing it around my arm like a trophy. valentine is so very annoyed and takes all of anfisa’s mild friendly torment as This Little Man Hates Me So Fucking Much. Why Does He Want Me DEAD also shoutout x2 to anfisa for being great at working with machines and learning how to put foot pedals on his motorcycle so he can switch the seat around to like, a pedal control board and ride it like a skateboard. this is dangerous and very, very impractical. he does not care. he’s having fun ps. if you think valentine is similar to a certain someone you’re right. its on purpose. i “steal” canon characters all the time (see: idk, not often actually) with friends bc its very fun to see how you can reinterpret a character without it being basically an au of the original character. TLDr if you can make a connection with the other character; good! just know he’s still his own thing and its on purpose and i love him. ps. x2/bonus i named anfisa after cat no banana <3 also anfisa (анфиса) means flowering/blossoming. i have made anfisa allergic to bananas and have given him plant themed clothingLKJGFDLKJG

ps. x3 im planning on drawing the rest of this team and talking about them but i want to post them all at once. i honestly wanted to do that here but i havent posted in 9 days so i. went ahead and just posted these two and gave their info since its more than, yknow, nothing? ps. x4 (help i have so many notes) literally i never put any of my stories on earth but then dont make any effort to make the contries non-earth countries bc like. *gestures vaguely* man idk how to do that and dont have the energy to make new cultures nd stuff on my free time??? im not doing this for a professional story??? so like. yeah. anyways so anfisa is Not from russia. he’s russian. valentine is british. britain doesn’t exist. make of that what you will. anyways. that is all. thank you. i kiss you for reading this. if you have questions please ask me them i have so much information all the time and it shows me theres interest in this

#my ocs #character design #my art #neontok #oc anfisa #oc valentine #this is the same world as four‚ wren‚ rum‚ and turbomaslo's intruxx!#and quite a few others.#shoutout to neontok almost everyone's clothing designs is black with a primary bright colour #ALSO SHOUTOUT TO BLAKE FOR HELPING ME WITH ALL THIS I LOVE U SIR. THANK YOU SO MUCH YOURE SO VERY COOL AND I HOLD YOU.#I CANT TAG HIM IN THIS POST BC IM PRETTY SURE HIS ONLY ACTIVE BLOGS ON HERE ARE COMPLETELY UNRELATED RP BLOGS SO SDFGFDGFD #HONORABLE MENTION TO HIM IN THE TAGS IS ALL I CAN DO <3

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dailycharacteroption · 3 years

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Base Class Review: Witch part 4

Unique Patrons

Witch patrons as a whole can represent any manner of otherworldly, power-granting entity, everything from powerful outsiders, fey, bodiless spirits, and even psychic entities formed by or attracted to the subconscious desires of the would-be witch.

Their morality and goals can also vary a lot. Some are goodly, most are high-minded and desire to spread knowledge, while wicked ones may be petty tyrants that threaten to remove their influence or torment the witch in other ways if they are not obeyed. Regardless of alignment, however, most patrons likely have an agenda of some kind, which likely is related to the theme they are associated with.

Beyond that, however, the witch patrons… don’t really have that much going for them mechanics-wise, just a list of bonus spells. According to former Paizo employee and editor in chief F. Wesley Schneider (In his brief stint of doing youtube videos, I believe), the witch patrons were originally going to be more in depth with greater mechanics tied to the true nature of the patron, but those were scrapped.

Today, however, we’ll take a look at a subsystem from Blood of the Coven which promises to provide a way for witch characters to be influenced by the exact nature of their patron (and also throwing a bone to GMs who wish they had more to work with when trying to tie the patron into the plot or subplot of a campaign.)

These so-called “unique patrons” are a bit stronger and more influential than the standard patron. Picking one of them means you must pick a certain hex at first level, you have a list of only four themes to pick from, and some of your theme spells are swapped out by those associated with that type of unique patron. What’s more, taking a unique patron means abiding by their rules, which can include a restriction, or a penalty of some kind.

In this way, unique patrons offer access to certain spells that are harder for most witches to get in return for some restrictions or difficulties in terms of build and roleplay. This makes sense from a fluff level as well, as these patrons would naturally not possess themes that run counter to their goals (no celestial patrons of rot and death, naturally)

The unique patron types are as follows:

First is the Celestial Agenda, meaning the patron is some manner of good outsider that seeks to guide the witch to some goodly act or destiny. As such, such witches must be good and find it difficult to deceive others, but they gain the ward hex, are associated with themes of endurance, healing, light, and portents, and grant access to spells that punish the wicked and call upon celestial allies.

Next is the Empath, suggesting your patron is a collective unconscious or other entity associated with emotion and social connection. Such witches are sensitive to strong emotions, making them very vulnerable to magic that imposes them on others. Still, they learn the tongues hex to speak all languages, are associated with ancestors, mind, spirits, and wisdom, and are granted spells that bolster their awareness of events and energies both present and past.

Fey Gifts suggests that your patron is a powerful fey, perhaps even one of the Eldest. Such patrons have few restrictions, but they also view the witch as a source of entertainment, and might remotely jinx them at random for their amusement. Still, the fey does grant the witch the charm hex, access to the agility, enchantment, trickery, or winter themes, and access to magic to deceive and enchant their foes with fairy madness.

Green Whispers is what you want if you want you patron to be a nature spirit of some description, or perhaps a powerful natural being such as a treant. Such beings forbid the touch of iron or steel, which are associated with civilization, and actually cause harm and inhibit the magic of the witch. In exchange, they can speak to animals with the feral speech hex, access animals, endurance, moon, or transformation as patron themes, and access various plant-related spells.

When a hag gets involved, usually with their changeling child, they sometimes act as a patron, providing the Hag’s Calling, perhaps to tempt them, or reward them. Regardless of their relationship, the hag seeks to isolate the witch, preventing them from helping others or accepting the help of others. In return, these witches gain the coven hex, can choose from moon, plague, shadow, and vengeance for themes, and spells to disguise themselves or contact the hag from afar.

The classic witch patron, at least when viewed through the perspective of fearful religious folk, the Infernal Contract suggests a patron that is fiendish in nature, though not necessarily diabolic. Regardless of what fiend is holding the leash, such witches can only rarely be resurrected, their souls bound to their master, and they must provide regular sacrifices of blood to maintain their power. Those that dare this bond are promised the misfortune hex, access to enchantment, strength, trickery, and vengeance as options, and spells to call on fiendish allies for aid.

Calling upon a patron from the plane of shadow, Shadowbound refers to those patrons that dwell in darkness, such as kytons, owbs, shae, nightshades, and more. Such a patron makes the light inimical to the witch, though, making their eyes sensitive to light. In exchange, they gain the disguise hex, the death, deception, ethereal, and shadow patron themes, and spells that bend shadow to the will of the witch for attacking and transport.

The Condition of All is an interesting unique patron, as such witches are guided by the mysterious and contradictory aeons. As servants of the balance, each witch has a role to play, and so their morality cannot waver from the role they are meant to fulfil, lest they lose their powers until their part in the balance is restored. In exchange, they gain the scar hex, access to the elements, time, transformation, and wisdom themes, and magic for compelling actions and banishing unwanted outsiders.

Finally, those who are Touched by the Outer Gods are exactly what you’d expect, witches whose patrons are none other than an Outer God or Great Old One, leaving their minds scarred, making them vulnerable to various mental effects. Those who follow such beings, if that word can even be used, gain the unnerve beasts hex, a theme from the list of insanity, occult, stars, or transformation, and spells that spread fear and madness.

With such an array of unique patrons, you certainly have plenty of interesting choices for making a witch character where the exact nature of their patron matters. However, you may have noticed that the list of various themes that go with these unique patrons is a bit… limited, with many themes not having any representation at all, so if you really want a particular theme and a unique patron, you may be forced to turn to homebrew or GM fiat in order to make it work.

The Pathfinder 2nd edition version of the witch features much more involved patrons from the get-go, which we’ll cover sometime in the future, but it’s interesting to see how this optional subsystem might have inspired it.

In any case, that does it for today! We’ll wrap up the witch class tomorrow with some final thoughts!

#pathfinder #base class #witch #patron #advanced player's guide #Blood of the Coven

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williammr01 · 4 years

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My thoughts on TLOU pt2.

It hasn’t been long enough since the game came out, so I’m including a cut since I can’t say what I think about the game without spoiling the whole thing. Over all though, I think the criticism and hate that the game got from fans is bull. I think it’s misogynistic bs, homophobic and trans-phobic bozos pissed off over a major plot point and a “liberal” story. If you’re worried about buying the game because you think Joel is treated wrong, or you think they screw up Ellie’s character- don’t worry about that. My main problem with the game is the story structure. If you’re unable to bond with one character, basically half the game is a waste of your money. And you have to play through those parts to get to the end of the game. So for whatever my opinion is worth to any of my followers, please consider that as the only reason to wait on buying the game. Spoilers under the cut.

I like the basic idea of what ND was going for. I think it’s fitting that Ellie becomes Joel in the end. I love and appreciate that we got Ellie and Dina’s romance shown as any other romance in a video game. I enjoyed my time playing as Ellie, until I couldn’t play as Ellie anymore. Because at that point, I was forced to play HALF of the game as a character I couldn’t connect to. And that is the basic failure of this game for me. They start the game off recapping the end of TLOU. Great. They should have continued to tell the story from that point, from Abby’s point of view. There’s so many flashbacks in this game, that we could have played through Abby’s back story and had the Ellie and Joel flashbacks every couple of hours. I would have played through that. Instead ND wanted that Abby’s group being old Fireflys to be a big surprise, but it wasn’t. I figured that out immediately when Abby/ the group killed Joel. I’m not going to get into how basically the game keeps telling you that revenge is wrong (when there is literally no other way to progress the story), because I deal with dumb repetitive messages in all media. What bothers me is that I literally could not connect to Abby because I didn’t know her before she killed Joel. I also didn’t really care much about Jesse and Tommy because the game only had companions for Ellie when it came time for surprises or emotional fall out. The thing I loved about the first game was that we basically spent the whole game learning and watching about Joel, Ellie and their relationship. This game doesn’t have that. It’s actually a problem I’ve had with a few ND games, and I thought for sure that the one thing I could count on from the makers of this game was that I would be able to feel for the characters. I couldn’t. I actually spent the last 25- 30% of the game just playing through the bits I had to and skipping all the cut scenes, because I was so angry that I was being forced to playthrough as Abby- because about an hour into playing as Abby I realized that the game was already over and I had figured out the motivations an hour in. After the first game, I knew that if there was ever a sequel, that Joel or Ellie had to die. So for me, there was no surprise. There was no revelation to look forward to. I was counting on, expecting a story about Ellie, and this isn’t that. And because this is a videogame, plot points have to be telegraphed, which makes the game less enjoyable for me. The minute Dina threw up I knew she pregnant. I knew she and the baby were going to be a reason for Ellie not to kill Abby. They would be “part of the revenge path” that Neil and everyone kept talking about for Ellie. Now at this point I haven’t actually spoke about the ending, the events of it. I won’t because I don’t want to spoil that for anyone any more than I already have. All I’m saying is- if you have a hard time emotionally connecting to characters, don’t buy this game until it’s cheaper. I do think it’s worth playing, to get to know what happens to Joel and Ellie. And at some point, I will play the Abby parts all the way through since I am a nerd and made multiple save points outside of the autosave. And maybe when I’m not angry that the game kept stopping me multiple times from getting revenge, I’ll play it the whole way through like it’s meant to be. But I’m still angry about that. I think the game could have started off with Abby, or you play Ellie’s story through to the end, and the “Part B” is playing through as Abby, or the reverse, whatever. I just think there was a better way to structure this game.

But I’d honestly recommend just watching a streamer you trust to watch their playthrough if you know you can’t connect to new characters easily. If you know that you’re going to be too emotionally reliant on getting revenge/justice for Joel to deal with having to play 25-30 hours before that happens, watch a streamer, or find a supercut of the important cinematics. As for the LGBT stuff, there’s one instance of homophobic behavior from a minor character, and basically everyone around lets him know he’s wrong. There’s also this child in Abby’s part- they may or may not be trans or non-binary. Full disclosure, I started skipping those parts before it was confirmed, if it was. So I’d watch a stream or video to get the full story. Because while I know why the kid was being hunted down, and get that to most people it would only be because the kid wasn’t following the Seraphites rules, umm the rule broken does have to do with the kid’s identity. Again, I do think it’s shown as being fucked up that the kid is being hunted, but that might be triggering for some folks, especially if the kid is trans/non-binary. And lastly, fuck everyone who said this game was too violent. It’s not. It’s really not. I don’t know if it’s some subconscious thing because the main people you play as, and the cult lady, are women. But it’s honestly not worse than anything you see on tv. I would say the only reason that some might consider it more violent than the first game is solely based on the fact that this game is so much longer than the first game, there has to be “more” violence, but really it’s just variations. So like, if you could handle the first game, I think you’d be able to play this one.

#the last of us pt 2 #tlou 2 #tlou spoilers #spoilers

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papa-rhys · 5 years

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New Dawn: Where are they now?

Here are my headcanons for what Hope County folk would be up to in New Dawn (if they all survived). I stuck to main characters (catergory 1 and 2) for this and I didn’t count anyone who died in fc5 canon because there’s 100% no chance they’d be in New Dawn and this is meant to be a “what I expect from X character if they appear in ND” thing. If I missed any important people out, then let me know and I’ll see about adding them in!

Holland Valley

Mary May Fairgrave: Lives in Prosperity, even though she doesn’t enjoy it as she can’t quite shake the thought that John used to live there. She runs a makeshift bar in the kitchen. She tells everyone that it’s because it boosts the morale of the people living there, but really it’s because she misses the connection that the Spread Eagle had to her parents. She grew up behind the bar, so in the first 10 or so years after the bombs fell, when she was kept away from the Spread Eagle, she didn’t feel like herself. Making her own replica of the Spread Eagle in John’s old kitchen makes her feel like she’s a little closer to home.

Jerome Jeffries: In charge of Prosperity. He lead a few people to John’s ranch to look for shelter after they crawled out of their bunkers and as the group has steadily grown in size, they all look to him as the founder/man in charge. He doesn’t like to sit indoors and let people do his bidding though, so if he sends someone out on a supply run or a job, he’ll likely go with them. Otherwise, he feels like a bossy control freak who doesn’t care about his people and just has them running around and working themselves to the bone for him. It makes him feel too much like Joseph and he obviously hates that.

Casey Fixman: Casey still cooks for the people of Prosperity primarily (also sending nice home cooked meals to the Wolf’s Den once a week as a treat for the remaining Whitetails), but he also provides valuable knowledge about combat and the inner workings of human beings. He’s a very knowledgeable guy and Jerome can often be found having hush-hush meetings with him behind the kitchen whenever Jerome needs advice on how to handle a problem.

Nick Rye: Nick looks after the kids of Prosperity. He doesn’t fly much anymore as he’s found happiness in other things, like spending time with his family and looking out for the children that were born into this new world. He finds it incredibly rewarding to give them some kind of normality in the form of reading to them or playing hopscotch with them in the grass – things that he believes all kids should do.

Kim Rye: Kim works with Nick as a duo. Whilst he has fun with the kids, she gives them an education. She teaches them basic things, like reading, writing, maths (the important bits), etc. But she also teaches them basic (and age-appropriate) combat. Among other things, she teaches them how to hold a knife, how to fire a gun, and how to break free if someone grabs them. She loves working with the kids and takes pride in knowing that she’s helping them to stay safe. Nick is also super proud of the work she does and tells her everyday, of course.

Carmina Rye: Much to Kim and Nick’s misery, Carmina is a total brawler and is always desperate to go out on runs with the supply team. She wants to explore the world outside the walls of Prosperity and meet new people, often sneaking out of Prosperity and scaring her parents to death. She gets into trouble with Hudson a lot, mainly for silly teenage pranks or generally causing trouble. She likes Wheaty a whole lot and always finds an excuse to go with the trading team when they deliver things to the Wolf’s Den. She denies that it’s a crush, but it 100% is. Safe to say Nick doesn’t like Wheaty much anymore.

Grace Armstrong: Grace runs an adult combat training program. The kids get basic training from Kim, but once they get to a certain age, they move up to the adult tier, where Grace will give them full training. Including, but not limited to: how to use all types of firearm, how to properly use knives, how to fight without weapons, how to free yourself from restraints, different signals used in combat (and what they mean), and how to stealth kill. She’s basically doing the same job as Jacob, except she does it way better than he ever could.

Joey Hudson: Hudson is still a cop! She’d live in Prosperity and she’d patrol the place and make sure that everyone is getting on okay. She’d handle any arguments and disputes that people had, because even though they’re all on the same side, they’re still bound to fight. So she keeps the peace. She has a shorter fuse these days and has a tendency to get mad at people pretty quickly sometimes, but everyone knows what she went through and they cut her some slack, knowing that she doesn’t mean any harm.

Whitetail Mountains

Tammy Barnes: Tammy lives in the Wolf’s Den and still does the same kind of stuff. She “handles” what’s left of the cultists and still looks after Wheaty (who is now 36 years old and still doesn’t do his own laundry). She’s toned it down with the torture in recent years though, and has more time to do mundane things (like cooking, cleaning, and spending time with Wheaty) which she finds a lot of solace in doing. She also managed to find her true calling – knitting copious amounts of scarfs that Wheaty wouldn’t be caught dead in, although he appreciates the sentiment.

Wheaty: Wheaty now runs what’s left of the Whitetail Militia out of the Wolf’s Den. He went straight to the bunker when the bombs hit and after things had settled, he focused his efforts on rounding up as many of the remaining Whitetails as he could, desperate to hold onto Eli’s legacy. Now he trades with Prosperity and offers the help of his men and women should Prosperity ever need it (and vice-versa). When he’s not swamped with work and making sure his people are safe as they scavenge for supplies, he’s winding down by watching old tapes of Eli’s favourite TV show or home videos of Eli and his family celebrating Christmas or birthdays. He also still enjoys his music; often playing records for Tammy - the same ones that the Deputy collected for him all those years ago.

Hurk Jr: Still resides in Fort Drubman, which he’s built upon and fortified since his dad’s death. He doesn’t really do much outside of shooting at beer bottles and setting off rockets in his backyard, which he claims to have a good reason for beyond “it’s a whole heap of fun, amigo.” He occasionally works as a hired gun, helping out on supply runs for the Whitetail Militia whenever they need someone a little more… “heavy-handed.” In exchange, they give him a fraction of the supplies that were found (which is increased if he sustains an injury on the run). Other than that, he’s all about “kicking back and gettin’ buzzed, man.”

Jess Black: Jess lives in the wilderness, setting up her camp in a different place each night. She makes an effort to stay pretty clear of other people, suspecting that human beings have only gotten more dangerous since the end of the world. Tammy gets in contact with her from time to time, just to make sure she’s okay (after Eli and Dutch died, Tammy took on the responsibility of checking in on Jess), but other than that, Jess rarely has contact with people. She dedicates all of her time to surviving in the wilderness and any spare time that she has is spent on hunting and crafting. I could see her sat in front of a campfire crafting arrows or cooking a rabbit for her dinner. She doesn’t really care for anything else and is more than happy to live a secluded life alone in the forests of Hope County.

Staci Pratt: Pratt needs something calm, easy, and mundane ever since his brains were scrambled by Jacob. He can’t handle stress anymore and isn’t safe enough to be in combat or unsupervised around people. So he assists Casey in the kitchen, cooking food for Prosperity, which he enjoys more than he thought he would. In his spare time, he likes to read – mainly because it helps him to practice focusing his mind. He struggles picking out individual thoughts, often jumbling things together and getting stressed out by it. So reading a book and forcing himself to take time focusing on each individual sentence is really helpful for him. He also enjoys the escapism and seeing characters get happy endings. Other than reading, he likes spending time with friends; especially Hudson, who he feels very connected to after going through similar things.

Henbane River

Earl Whitehorse: He tried to secure the prison after getting out of his bunker, but it was too far gone, so he moved on to Prosperity. For a while, he acted as Sheriff of Prosperity, helping Hudson keep the peace in the ever-growing settlement. But he eventually began thinking of the apocalypse as his second chance. He figured that if he survived the war in Hope County, the Bliss, and then the nukes, then that has to mean something. And he didn’t want to waste his new lease of life on doing the same thing he’d been doing for the previous 30+ years. So now he spends most of his days fishing in the river behind Prosperity, providing fresh (albeit oddly coloured and disproportionate) fish for Casey to cook and providing himself with a taste of the well-deserved retirement that he never got to see.

Tracey Lader: Tracey has a whole lot of anger to share with her enemies (and people in general) so she found her place as a soldier. She acts as one of Jerome’s most trusted lieutenants and is second in command (and sometimes completely in charge, when Jerome isn’t there) of most of the supply run teams that are sent out. She debated going it alone like Jess for a while, but she ultimately likes human contact too much to live like that – no matter how annoying people can be sometimes. She’s pretty busy running the show for Jerome, so she doesn’t get much spare time, but when she does, she spends it in her room, brooding.

Sharky Boshaw: Sharky goes back and forth between locations; sometimes living in Prosperity, and sometimes living in Fort Drubman with Hurk. He still likes fire. A lot. But he contributes a little more to the grouthan he used to, using his “creative genius” (his words) to devise traps for enemies, ideally keeping said enemies as far away from the walls of Prosperity as possible. There’s sharpened branches, there’s tripwires, and most importantly; there’s fire. In his spare time, he messes around with Hurk, getting up to all kinds of trouble and not being inconspicuous in the slightest – much to Jerome’s dismay.

Adelaide Drubman: Adelaide is 83 years old now so it’s a miracle she’s still alive and you best believe she doesn’t let anybody forget it. She’s still rampantly horny, but doesn’t have the energy to keep up with her own needs anymore. So she spends most of her days messing with people around Prosperity; picking on them and getting a kick out of getting adverse reactions from them. She’s quite close with Carmina Rye (unfortunately for Nick and Kim), who keeps her feeling young, and Carmina finds her hilarious. The pair can often be found sat on the front steps of the former ranch, giggling at passers by and enjoying some time away from the destruction and misery.

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