#The Small World of Sammy Lee | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

justforbooks · 1 month

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The actor Lou Gossett Jr, who has died aged 87, is best known for his performance in An Officer and A Gentleman (1982) as Gunnery Sergeant Emil Foley, whose tough training transforms recruit Richard Gere into the man of the film’s title. He was the first black winner of an Academy Award for best supporting actor, and only the third black actor (after Hattie McDaniel and Sidney Poitier) to take home any Oscar.

The director, Taylor Hackford, said he cast Gossett in a role written for a white actor, following a familiar Hollywood trope played by John Wayne, Burt Lancaster, Victor McLaglen or R Lee Ermey, because while researching he realised the tension of “black enlisted men having make-or-break control over whether white college graduates would become officers”. Gossett had already won an Emmy award playing a different sort of mentor, the slave Fiddler who teaches Kunta Kinte the ropes in Roots (1977), but he was still a relatively unknown 46-year-old when he got his breakthrough role, despite a long history of success on stage and in music as well as on screen.

Born in Sheepshead Bay, Brooklyn, Louis was the son of Helen (nee Wray), a nurse, and Louis Sr, a porter. As a child he suffered from polio, but became a high school athlete before a basketball injury led to his joining the drama club. His teacher encouraged him to audition professionally, and at 17 he was on Broadway playing a troubled child in Take a Giant Step, which won him a Donaldson award for best newcomer.

He won a drama scholarship to New York University, but continued working, in The Desk Set (1955), and made his television debut in two episodes of the NBC anthology show The Big Story. In 1959 he was cast with Poitier and Ruby Dee in Raisin in the Sun, and made his film debut reprising his role in 1961. On Broadway that year he played in Jean Genet’s The Blacks, in an all-star cast with James Earl Jones, Cicely Tyson, Roscoe Lee Brown, Godfrey Cambridge and a young Maya Angelou; it was the decade’s longest-running show.

Gossett was also active in the Greenwich Village folk music scene. He released his first single Hooka Dooka, Green Green in 1964, followed by See See Rider, and co-wrote the anti-war hit Handsome Johnny with Richie Havens. In 1967 he released another single, a drums and horns version of Pete Seeger’s anti-war hymn Where Have All the Flowers Gone. He was in the gospel musical Tambourines to Glory (1963) and in producer Mike Todd’s America, Be Seated at the 1964 New York World’s Fair.

His plays became more limited: The Zulu and the Zayda and My Sweet Charlie; the very short run of Carry Me Back to Morningside Heights, in which he played a black man owning a white slave; and a revival of Golden Boy (1964), with Sammy Davis Jr. His final Broadway part was as the murdered Congolese leader Patrice Lamumba, in Conor Cruise O’Brien’s Murderous Angels (1971). Gossett had played roles in New York-set TV series such as The Naked City, but he began to make a mark in Hollywood, despite LAPD officers having handcuffed him to a tree, on “suspicion”, in 1966.

On TV he starred in The Young Rebels (1970-71) set in the American revolution. In film, he was good as a desperate tenant in Hal Ashby’s Landlord (1970) and brilliant with James Garner in Skin Game (1971), taking part in a con trick in which Garner sells him repeatedly into slavery then helps him to escape.

In 1977, alongside Roots, he attracted attention as a memorable villain in Peter Yates’s hit The Deep, and got artistic revenge on the LAPD in Robert Aldrich’s The Choirboys. The TV movie of The Lazarus Syndrome (1979) became a series in which Gossett played a realistic hospital chief of staff set against an idealistic younger doctor. He played the black baseball star Satchel Paige in the TV movie Don’t Look Back (1981); years later he had a small part as another Negro League star, Cool Papa Bell, in The Perfect Game (2009).

After his Oscar, he played another assassinated African leader, in the TV mini-series Sadat, reportedly approved for the role by Anwar Sadat’s widow Jihan. Though he remained a busy working actor, good starring roles in major productions eluded him, as producers fell back on his drill sergeant image. He was Colonel “Chappy” Sinclair in Iron Eagle (1986) and its three dismal sequels.

But in 1989 he starred in Dick Wolf’s TV series Gideon Oliver, as an anthropology professor solving crimes in New York. And he won a best supporting actor Golden Globe for his role in the TV movie The Josephine Baker Story (1991). He revisited the stage in the film adaptation of Sam Shepard’s Curse of the Starving Class (1994).

Gossett twice received the NAACP’s Image Award, and another Emmy for producing a children’s special, In His Father’s Shoes (1997). In 2006 he founded the Eracism Foundation, providing programmes to foster “cultural diversity, historical enrichment and anti-violence initiatives”. Despite an illness eventually linked to toxic mould in his Santa Monica home, he kept working with a recurring part in Stargate SG-1 (2005-06). A diagnosis of prostate cancer in 2010 hardly slowed him down.

Most recently, he played Will “Hooded Justice” Reeves in the TV series Watchmen (2019), in the series Kingdom Business, about the gospel music industry, and in the 2023 musical remake of The Color Purple.

His first marriage, to Hattie Glascoe, in 1967, was annulled after five months; his second, to Christina Mangosing, lasted for two years from 1973; and his third, to Cyndi (Cynthia) James, from 1987 to 1992. He is survived by two sons, Satie, from his second marriage, and Sharron, from his third.

🔔 Louis Cameron Gossett Jr, actor, born 27 May 1936; died 28 March 2024

Daily inspiration. Discover more photos at Just for Books…?

#just for books #louis gossett jr.#in memoriam

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cringemesstickles · 7 months

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Sleepy Giggles

(TickleTober Day 14: Soft)

Summary: Sam is having a bad dream and Dean knows just how to help

Pairings: None

Word Count: 511

A/N: Some crazy family stuff came up tonight, so y’all are getting lee!sam because it helps me cope 🤠

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It’s safe to say that Sam and Dean have been to their fair share of motels. It was just a part of the job.

Most of the time, they were able to get their own beds, but on the rare occasion that the two singles were unavailable, they had to share a bed.

Tonight was one of those nights.

Dean tried to bargain with the Motel employee, eventually groaning in defeat when she explained that there was nothing she could do.

Of course sharing a bed wasn’t the end of the world. They’ve done it on multiple occasions when they needed the comfort and of course when they were children.

It was good comfort but more often than not, they preferred to have their own space, especially with Sam being the big moose that he is.

A couple hours had passed since they settled down and Dean awoke to squirming, shivering, and whimpering.

He sat up and looked at his little brother.

Stirring and nightmares weren’t uncommon for them. along with shitty motel rooms, nightmares were just part of the hunting package.

Without thinking, Dean slipped his hand under his brother’s shirt and started massaging the soft skin; remembering how it used to calm little Sammy down.

The stirring slowed noticeably and the younger brother let out a sigh of contentment as the tension slowly left his body.

Dean kept up the soothing motion absentmindedly, soaking in the rare serenity of the moment.

He glanced over when he felt Sam squirming again but laughed a little when he realized the reason.

He accidentally started scratching his blunt nails in the center of his brothers tummy, causing a small smile to form on his sleeping face.

Sam giggled softly in his sleep, intentionally (yet also unintentionally, considering the fact that he was asleep) leaning into the funny touch.

Despite being asleep, Sam seemed to be at least somewhat aware of the situation but also clueless at the same time.

Perhaps he was dreaming? Whatever the case, it was adorable.

“Hehe.. tihihickles..” He muttered, arching slightly into the touch as much as a sleeping person could and Dean thought it was the cutest thing ever.

When they were younger and Sam couldn’t sleep, Dean would scratch his tummy lightly to help him relax and Sam would lean into the ticklish touch just like he was now.

Sam was much like a puppy in that way.

Just an innocent overgrown puppy.

He let his fingers spider sporadically against his baby brother’s stomach, smiling when the giggles began to escalate.

He slowed it back down to gentle scratches, not wanting to wake his brother, just wanting to keep him giggly and content.

Dean kept up the light tickles while Sam continued to giggle and mumble incoherent, sleepy nonsense.

Was he going to tease Sam about this in the morning?

Absolutely! It was his job!

Would he do it again?

More than likely, yes.

Especially if it was helping his little brother sleep more soundly.

That alone was all the reason he needed to keep going.

#mess writes #tickletober2023 #tickletober #augtickletober2023 #tktober #tktober2023 #supernatural tickle fic #lee!sam #ler!dean #ticklish!sam #lee!sammy #ticklish!sammy #tword content #tickles #sfw tickling #tickle fic #spn tickling #spn tickle fic #tickle community

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thinkingaboutbones · 10 months

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Yellowjackets Characters Ranked from Most to Least Likely to be a Communist

The ghost of Karl Marx possessed me and made me write this.

Young Nat - I mean come on just look at her. Girlie hates the system!! My anarchist queen!! I love her.

Lisa - She's part of Lottie's intentional community, putting in the work to better herself and the community! You could tell me she's canonically a communist and I would not be surprised.

Adult Lottie - Now I don't think Lottie is a full communist. Like she's running an "intentional community," which is like basically a commune, but she also deliberately positions herself as a leader. You can even see it in the clothes she wears. Like put on the heliotrope comrade!!

Adult Van - Idk I know she criticizes Lottie's community but she just has comrade vibes to me. She's a small business owner (a girl's gotta do what she's gotta do under capitalism) keeping physical media alive!

Adult Nat - She's a bit more jaded than her younger self. Originally, she questions Lottie's community. But she does buy in when she sees and experiences the benefits!

Laura Lee - So I originally had Laura Lee pretty low because of the correlation between Christianity and conservative beliefs in our society. But our queen isn't like that!! She learned how to fly the plane for the good of the community! Helped Lottie cope when she ran out of her meds! And you know maybe neither of those things totally worked out but she was doing her best!!!!!

Crystal - If Crystal can get along with MISTY she can get along with anyone. And she was SHOOK when she learned that Misty had destroyed the black box, aka done something literally so selfish/bad for the group. I think she would do very well in a world where everyone worked together and shared resources for the good of the community.

Akilah - Idk man this is a long list they can't all be well thought out. @lottiesacolyte said she seems open to anything, so I'm just kind of putting her here. Sorry to the Akilah stans.

Young Lottie - Initially I had young Lottie super low on the list, since she's kind of a god/idol to the girlies in the woods. But upon further consideration, she doesn't actually Want that. She goes out of her way to try and Avoid becoming their leader. She just wants everyone to work together and survive. AND she said that if she died they shouldn't let her body go to waste.

Young Van - Young Van's vibes are very similar to her adult self's, but she does kind of buy in super hard to Lottie as leader. I think that under different circumstances she would be more of a communist.

Young Taissa - Young Taissa is a tricky one. Because she is soooo against the Lottie as leader stuff that everyone else is buying into. But at the same time, I feel like She wants to be the leader? Which tracks considering her adult life. I think that her and Van could have been happy living as communists together, but that's not the way life panned out for them.

Adult Shauna - Shauna is fed up with her boring suburban life. And you know what would make you happier, queen? Communism!

Randy - Okay this one is a little silly goofy. But he's just sooo down to help Jeff. Help him with blackmail, help him seem like Shauna is cheating on him. He's a real one. I don't think it's likely that Randy would be a communist but like if Jeff was doing it? Maybe!

Jeff - Very similar to Randy, I think that he would just kind of go with the flow with what everyone else is doing. He's pretty traditional, but if Shauna wanted to try communism he'd give it a whirl with her.

Javi - Javi is a child. He's an icon and I choose to believe he would adjust to communism, but let's be real he's gonna just go with the flow.

Sammy - Sammy is also a child, even more of a child than Javi. He'll do what his parents tell him to do.

Gen and Melissa - Okay I put them together because I don't know a single thing about either of them. They're side characters, they'll do whatever everyone else is doing LOL.

Mari - Mari is kind of a hater. And that's so relatable. She's kind of a go with the flow girlie. But also because of her hater energy I feel she would not immediately adjust well to communism.

Jackie - Jackie is a traditional girlie. She's used to being queen bee. She doesn' adjust well to living in the woods, and she wouldn't adjust well to communism. I think that she could if pressed! But she would be resistant, let's be honest.

Young Shauna - While Jackie's alive, Shauna will do whatever Jackie does, regardless of her own thoughts on the matter. After Jackie dies (rest in peace my girlfailure icon queen), Shauna's a little more ambitious. You think a girl who's mad she didn't get to be antler queen would be immediately down with communism? Absolutely not. I think she would adjust, but not easily.

Callie - Callie's in her edgelord, I'm cooler than everyone else era. Perhaps one day when she is older she will embrace the radical joy and love communism can provide, but for now she would Not be happy with a change in the status quo. She has big Jackie queen bee energy, and she doesn't want that to change.

Adult Travis - Travis' response to the trauma of the wilderness was to move to the middle of nowhere, so I don't think communism would quite be his vibe. But I do think that he'd be more open that his younger self, just due to life experience and Hopefully being less misogynistic now. But we don't really see a lot of him so who's to say!

Young Travis - Travis buys into so much heteronormativity and toxic masculinity nonsense that I think it would be really hard to shake it out of him.

Simone - She's married to Taissa, so she's clearly bought into the idea that a liberal government can somehow liberate us.

Adult Taissa - She's literally part of the system. Also she can eat dirt for free under capitalism, so why bother being a communist? She's a deadbeat dad, acting like providing for her family monetarily is the only thing that matters and not Love and Quality Time.

Adam - Adam would tell people he's a communist. He might even think it's true. But when push comes to shove? That man is not going to radically change his life. He's fake woke and I hate him, good riddance.

Adult Misty - She was NOT on board with Lottie's intentional community. She abuses the elderly. She murders people. Misty wants power and control, and communism wouldn't allow her to have that.

Walter - This man is RICH but instead of redistributing his wealth he bought a big fancy house and all he does is go on Reddit and be crusty and lame.

Coach Ben - They're literally stranded in the middle of nowhere and this man keeps trying to act like he's in charge? Like you only have one leg my dude, just let the girlies take care of you. And then instead of talking things out when he disagrees with the collective, he BURNS THE CABIN DOWN. Evil evil man.

Young Misty - I hate her. She's a creep. She broke the black box just because she liked feeling important. She killed Crystal to keep her secret, and doesn't even want anyone to eat Crystal's body even though everyone is starving. Keeping valuable resources from the community is NOT very communist of her.

Kevyn - ACAB!!

Jay - ACAB ACAB HE'S SO CRUSTY I HATE HIM HE'S A CREEP!!!!!!!!

#if u disagree with me pls be nice #also to be so honest i am a vibes communist not an educated in theory communist so sorry if this is wrong somehow #yellowjackets #natalie scatorccio #lottie matthews #van palmer #misty quigley #shauna shipman #shauna sadecki #taissa turner #jeff sadecki #communism #laura lee #jackie taylor #javi martinez #travis martinez #ben scott

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drzito · 1 year

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Las 211 peliculas que he visto en 2022 (parte 1)

En negrita las que os recomiendo:

1. El sexto sentido (Nemesio Manuel Sobrevila, 1929)

2. El pan nuestro de cada día (King Vidor, 1934)

3. Luna Nueva (Howard Hawks, 1940)

4. Un sueño americano (King Vidor, 1944).

5. Breve encuentro (David Lean, 1945)

6. El capitán Kidd (Rowland V. Lee, 1945)

7. Lazos humanos (Elia Kazan, 1945)

8. La bella y la bestia (Jean Cocteau, 1946)

9. Domador de sirenas (Irving Pichel, 1948)

10. La fuerza del destino (Abraham Polonsky, 1948)

11. Nunca la olvidare (George Stevens, 1948)

12. Vida en sombras (Lorenzo Llobet Gracia, 1949)

13. Milagro en Milan (Vittorio de Sica, 1951)

14. Umberto D (Vittorio de Sica, 1952)

15. Valkoinen peura [El reno blanco] (Erik Blomberg, 1952)

16. El salario del miedo (H G Clouzot, 1953)

17. La loba (Alberto Lattuada, 1953)

18. Los apuros de un pequeño tren (Charles Crichton, 1953)

19. Tarantula (Jack Arnold, 1955)

20. El ferroviario (Pietro Germi, 1956).

21. La mala semilla (Mervyn LeRoy, 1956).

22. De dode tjern [El lago de los muertos] (Kåre Bergstrøm, 1958)

23. Cover Girl Killer (Terry Bishop, 1959)

24. Horror en el Museo Negro (Arthur Crabtree, 1959).

25. Beat Girl (Edmond T. Gréville, 1960)

26. El hotel de los horrores (John Moxley, 1960)

27. La sangre seca (Yoshishige Yoshida, 1960)

28. Macario (Robert Gavaldon, 1960)

29. Marea nocturna (Curtis Harrington, 1961)

30. El poder de la mafia (Alberto Lattuada, 1962)

31. Historias de terror (Roger Corman, 1962)

32. Vida para Ruth (Basil Dearden, 1962)

33. El demonio (Brunello Rondi, 1963).

34. El especulador (Vittorio de Sica, 1963)

35. Las tres caras del miedo (Mario Bava, 1963)

36. The small world of Sammy Lee (Ken Hughes, 1963)

37. El extraño viaje (Fernando Fernan-Gomez, 1964)

38. La mujer de la arena (Hiroshi Teshigahara, 1964)

39. Los corceles de fuego (Sergei Parajanov, 1964)

40. España insólita (Javier Aguirre, 1965)

41. El ojo del diablo (J Lee Thompson, 1966)

42. Kriminal (Umberto Lenzi, 1966)

43. Las Brujas (Cyril Frankel, 1966)

44. El desconocido de Shandigor (Jean-Louis Roy, 1967)

45. Corrupción (Robert Hartford-Davis, 1968)

46. La maldicion del altar rojo (Vernon Sewell, 1968)

47. Mr Freedom (William Klein, 1968)

48. Satanik (Piero Vivarelli, 1968)

49. Un día tranquilo en el campo (Elio Petri, 1968)

50. Queimada! (Gillo Pontecorvo, 1969)

51. Ya soy una mujer (David Greene, 1969)

52. 4 moscas sobre terciopelo gris (Dario Argento, 1970)

53. El martillo de las brujas (Otakar Vavra, 1970)

54. Lokis. Rekopis profesora Wittembacha [Lokis. El manuscrito del Profesor Wittembach] (Janusz Majewski, 1970)

55. Valerie y su semana de las maravillas (Jaromil Jireš, 1970)

56. Bahía de sangre (Mario Bava, 1971).

57. La maldición de los Bishop (John D Hancock, 1971)

58. Angustia de silencio (Lucio Fulci, 1972)

59. Lejos de los arboles (Jacinto Esteva, 1972).

60. San Francisco, ciudad desnuda (Stuart Rosenberg, 1973)

61. Torso: Violencia Carnal (Sergio Martino, 1973)

62. Sintomas (Jose Ramon Larraz, 1974)

63. Trastornado (Alan Ormsby y Jeff Gillen, 1974)

64. Blue Moon (Louis Malle, 1975)

65. El quimérico inquilino (Roman Polanski, 1976)

66. God told me to (Larry Cohen, 1976)

67. Foes (John Coats, 1977)

68. La centinela (Michael Winner, 1977)

69. La ultima ola (Peter Weir, 1977)

70. El dinero de los demás (Christian de Chalonge, 1978)

71. Cristo se paro en Eboli (Francesco Rosi, 1979)

72. La hipótesis de un cuadro robado (Raul Ruiz, 1979)

73. Profecía maldita (John Frankenheimer, 1979)

74. Impacto (Brian de Palma, 1981)

75. Vida/Perra (Javier Aguirre, 1982)

76. Los jueces de la ley (Peter Hyams, 1983)

77. Ojos de fuego (Avery Crounse, 1983)

78. 1,2,3... Splash (Ron Howard, 1984)

79. Los santos inocentes (Mario Camus, 1984).

80. Repo Man (Alex Cox, 1984)

81. Re-Animator (Stuart Gordon, 1985)

82. 007: Alta tensión (John Glen, 1987)

83. El príncipe de las tinieblas (John Carpenter, 1987)

84. Walker (Alex Cox, 1987)

85. La tumba de las luciérnagas (Isao Takahata, 1988)

86. The Dreaming (Mario Andreacchio, 1988)

87. Un lugar llamado Milagro (Robert Redford, 1988)

88. Celia (Ann Turner, 1989)

89. Cuando fuimos brujas (Nietzchka Keene, 1990)

90. Temblores (Ron Underwood, 1990)

91. Clearcut (Ryszard Bugajski, 1991)

92. Mississippi Masala (Mira Nair, 1991)

93. Un lugar en el mundo (Adolfo Aristarain, 1992)

94. Anchoress (Chris Newby, 1993)

95. Dark Waters (Mariano Baino, 1993)

96. Lo que queda del día (James Ivory, 1993)

97. Lazos Ardientes (The Wachowskis, 1996)

98. Nubes pasajeras (Aki Kaurismaki, 1996)

99. Una gran noche (Stanley Tucci, Campbell Scott, 1996)

100. Salvar al soldado Ryan, (Steven Spielberg, 1998).

101. CQ (Roman Coppola, 2001)

102. Funny ha ha (Andrew Bujalski, 2002)

103. Hotel (Jessica Hausner, 2004)

104. Noroi (Kôji Shiraishi, 2005)

105. The Dark (John Fawcett, 2005)

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spoilertv · 6 days

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#SpoilerTV

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kaospheric · 1 year

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The Small World of Sammy Lee (1963)

#film

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mariocki · 3 years

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The Small World of Sammy Lee (1963)

"Lou... I'm in a little spot of bother."

"What do you want, Sammy?"

"Believe me, Lou, you know I hate asking you, cos you've -"

"How much?"

"Three hundred."

"Three hundred?"

"I'm in terrible trouble, honest, Lou."

"I should hope so, for three hundred pounds!"

#The Small World of Sammy Lee #british cinema #films i done watched #Ken Hughes #Anthony Newley #1963 #Julia Foster #Robert Stephens #Wilfrid Brambell #Miriam Karlin #Warren Mitchell #Kenneth J. Warren #Alfred Burke #Harry Locke #Toni Palmer #Clive Colin Bowler #June Cunningham #Cyril Shaps #Ronald Radd #Derek Nimmo #A really quite incredible little film. When ppl talk about capturing 60s London on film they talk about Alfie or The Knack or any other #Number of films; but they're all so self consciously 'cool'‚ all trying so hard. This feels more like a real portrait of a time and place:#A multicultural London full of immigrants and refugees of all walks of life and all kinds of backgrounds. And jn the middle is Sammy Lee‚#Small time comic with 5 hours to find 300 pounds. The stakes are‚ compared to many thrillers‚ really quite low. And yet this is truly gut #Wrenching‚ heart aching stuff as Sammy does everything and anything‚ pulls every con he can think of‚ sells and swindles and cheats and #Desperately grovels for a few hundred quid. A minor masterpiece of character and style and home to some incredible performances. Newley was #Never more pitiable‚ Robert Stephens is truly repellent as a seedy club owner‚ Ken J Warren finds enormous depth in a minor support part as #A gang enforcer with hidden morals. Foster is wonderful‚ heartbreaking. And Alfred Burke (the reason I was first interested in seeing this‚#The main reason I bought the Gurney Slade set) has a mere 5 mins: but what a scene. Alfred Burke as a drug pushing‚ pool playing‚ cooler #Than cool gangland type? It needs to be seen to be believed. Absolutely blew me away‚ this film. Deserves to be much better known

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ozu-teapot · 2 years

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The Small World of Sammy Lee | Ken Hughes | 1963

Lynda Baron

#Lynda Baron #Ken Hughes #The Small World of Sammy Lee #1963

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thesmallworldofsamizayn · 3 years

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Ya like uncut gems? Ya like run lola run? Ya like mikey and nicky? Ya like that post about the guy that goes heyheyhey c'mon im a little guy im just a little guy also its my birthday im a little birthday boy? Then watch the small world of sammy lee ffs

#the small world of sammy lee

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semioticapocalypse · 3 years

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Anthony Newley in «The Small World of Sammy Lee» by Ken Hughes. 1963

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freshmoviequotes · 7 years

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The Small World of Sammy Lee (1963)

#the small world of sammy lee #ken hughes #anthony newley #julia foster #movies #film #quotes #screencaps #the human condition #1963

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wrightedgar · 5 years

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The things I do for Edgar Wright...

#2020.....baby help me #but also I don't even want this movie #I wish a could filter all the movies in his 1k faves that happen in soho...#cause I only know Darling #& The Small World of Sammy Lee

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chocolatecakecas · 3 years

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The Fabric of Your Life

@spnprideweek day 1: coming out/flags

warnings: internalized biphobia, implied past physical abuse, alcohol mention

The first time Dean watched Star Wars, he was ten and his dad dumped him and Sammy at some crappy motel with a promise that he'd return soon. Dad hadn't bothered to register either of them in the local school, since it was supposed to be a "milkrun", so by day four they were both climbing the walls. And Dean was sick of it, so he took the money he had left, after buying a box of cereal and a three pack of mac and cheese at the gas station, and dragged Sammy to the video store he saw when they drove into town. He rented, Star Wars: A New Hope because he remembered some kid at their last school wouldn't shut up about it, and wow was that kid right. Dean loved everything about it, especially Han Solo, with his fast ship, and his blaster and his cool hair and, smooth talking. Every time he was on screen, Dean got this weird funny, excited feeling in his tummy, and he assumed it was because he wanted to be just like him when he grew up.

(read the rest under the cut or read on ao3)

It was the same feeling he'd get later, whenever he caught an old western at the movies and Clint Eastwood or John Wayne would saunter across the screen, but he tried not to think about it too hard.

When Dean was fifteen they were stuck in some small town in Nebraska for four months. The town was shit, but Dean had luckily made friends with this guy named Jake Preston who was two years older than him. They were practically inseparable, sneaking into movies, late night joyrides in Jake's crappy pick up, swiping beers from Mr. Preston to drink under the bleachers. And sometimes when Jake would do a successful donut with his truck, or con their way out of trouble, or wink at Dean before he snuck them out of school early, he'd get that same funny feeling in his stomach. But Dean would just chalk it up to admiring the guy for being so smooth and getting away with anything. Of course until the night they were drunk on the bleachers and Jake grabbed Dean by the shirt, smashing their lips together. And after the momentary shock, Dean found himself pulling Jake closer for more. But then Jake angrily shoved him away, as if it was Dean's fault and left without a word, leaving him alone under the bleachers, terrified about what he had just done and wondering if Jake would tell anyone at school. But it didn't matter because they quickly left town the next day, his Dad saying he finished up the hunt, so for years, Dean would just shove that memory off as a drunken accident.

When Dean was twenty, he kissed Lee Webb for the first time. They had snuck off while their Dads wrapped up the hunt, swiping a few of John's beers before heading to their motel room. They acted like assholes, loudly recalling the antics they had got up to on the hunt. And Dean found himself unable to look away from Lee's smile, his eye, his arms, laughing loudly at his jokes and felt that funny feeling in his stomach whenever Lee would laugh. And the next thing Dean knew, he was kissing him like he'd done with girls hundreds of times, but hadn't with another boy sinc-not in years. But unlike with girls, Dean was quickly pulling away horrified at his own actions. But then Lee was pulling him back in, deepening the kiss as he struggled to get Dean's flannel unbuttoned. And just as Dean was starting to realize that Lee wasn't going to angrily shove him away, and that maybe this was okay, he heard the door unlock, and was met with a very drunk John Winchester, who quickly made his opinions about the scene before him, known. And Dean quickly realized that he couldn't just push off this off as some drunken mistake, because that's the moment when he first knew.

And now at age 42, he's happily married with a handful of kids that are his in every way that matters, living in the suburbs with a big kitchen and a deck out back, and it should make those moments feel like a lifetime ago.

But he's still somehow there. They're still fresh in his mind as if they happened a few days ago, the feeling of fear still fresh. Even though he's come so damn far, he's gotten farther than he ever thought he would, he still feels like that terrified little kid again.

All because of some stupid, flimsy piece of fabric.

And Dean knows it's ridiculous. He's married to a man for gods sake, a man who he kisses in public and fights with in the grocery store and who's hand he holds when they walk down the street. And it's not like he's worried about anyone's reaction, since they were all at the wedding, they've been to dinner at their house multiple time, not to mention it would be a little hypocritical of pretty much everyone he knows.

And Dean knows all of that, but he still just feels li-

With a heavy sigh, Dean sits on the corner of the bed running his hands through his hair.

Because it's not that he doesn't want the "label", or thinks that he needs to have it or thinks the label is wrong. He wants the label. He likes the idea of being able to call it something. And he knows it's the right one because during the very few times he was brave enough to google it, he realized it was the one that fits the best.

So why can't he just hav-

Pulling his hands away from his face, he slowly turns to look across the bed, heart leaping into his throat when he catches sight of it. And he finds himself frozen, unable to look a way, let alone reach out for it.

And Dean knows he's being ridiculous because he's faced far worse than this. He's died so many times he's lost count, he's saved the world multiple times, he's killed monsters, ancient cosmic beings, been to other dimensions, he's fought Heaven and Hell, and damnit he's even fought God.

But after all of that, he's still afraid of a little fucking scrap of pink, purple and blue fabric currently clashing with the floral comforter. Paralyzed by fear at the sight of it.

So with a grunt Dean practically launches himself across the bed grabbing the offending object and he's on his feet again pacing around the room.

It's just a piece of fabric. It's just a word.

But you know it's more than that.

And something drops deep in the pit of Dean's stomach, as that familiar feeling of fear continues to creep over him, consuming his thoughts.

Because it's more than just a piece if fabric, it's more than just a word and Dean knows that. To him it means something more, and god he wants to have what it means.

Why can't he just let himself wan-

Dean's footsteps stall, and he finds himself standing in front of the mirror.

And when he meets his gaze, all he can see is that confused little boy looking back, that terrified fifteen year old kid, the twenty year old who was just caught and nearly killed by his own Da-no.

Dean shuts that thought down while he's ahead. Because he learned a long time ago not to let his father dictate his life choices, he learned how to stop letting his ghost prevent him from doing what he wants. He's already worked through and made peace with that trauma, well as much as you can work through that kinda crap, that is. But he's come a long way, he's married, he's got kids, he's got a family, he's got a life that he's damn proud of. So he's sure as hell not not gonna let John Winchester have a place in this.

Because this is about Dean. And what Dean wants.

So shaking his head, Dean finds his eyes in the mirror again.

It's just a piece of fabric. It's just a word. And it's a word Dean wants to own. It's a piece of fabric Dean wants to hold. So why the hell can't he just le-

Because you still can't let yourself have what you want.

His heart skips in his chest as he grips the dresser attached to the mirror

After everything he's been through. After saving the world, and Cas's confession, and the wedding, and the house in the suburbs. He let himself have Cas, but he can't let himself have this thing and-

Oh.

Dean can barely admit it to himself most of the time, but he's aware that he believes that wanting, is selfish. That he thinks his wants are inherently selfish things and so he can't let himself want. And logically he knows that's crazy because everybody wants something, but he jus-can't let himself. And for years he could barely let himself think about wanting Cas, and then after everything that happened he jus-he to let himself be selfish just once and want him. But that was only after he knew Cas wanted him too, which made Dean's want, "unselfish" because it would make Cas happy too. That want was technically for both of them, and that's what he told himself.

And that's why Dean hasn't been able to let himself want the label too.

Because wanting the label is something, just for himself.

And Dean chuckles lowly at the irony. Dean Winchester has free will for the first time in his life, and he still just can't let himself have what he wants.

He rubs a hand down his face, pausing when he spots the fabric in the mirror. Dean slowly looks down at his other hand to see it clutched in a white knuckled grip.

And he thinks of the way he felt when he first saw it on some website, after finally convinced himself to open his laptop in the late hours of the night all those years ago. And he thinks of the smile on Sam's face when he handed it to him after their weekly Friday night dinner, as he was on the way out the door. And how he never specifically talked about it with him, but Sam seemed to know anyway, like always. He thinks of Cas' understanding smile as he softly told him he definitely didn't need it if he wasn't ready or didn't want it, and how he didn't even have to come today. And how he never expressed any of this to him, but Cas seemed to know, like always.

And he thinks of how he might feel, holding the scrap of fabric a little more gently. And he thinks of how he might feel holding it today, where everyone can see.

And he makes his choice.

So with unsteady hands he releases his iron grip, and carefully threads it through one of his belt loops. He squeezes his eyes shut, as he tilts his head back up towards the mirror. Then he slowly opens them.

Dean's breath catches when he sees as the flag hanging at his hip, stopping just above his knee. He takes a moment just to stare at the way it sways slightly, side to side. Then his eyes continue their ascent upwards until they meet his face in the mirror. And he finds a small smile pulling at his lips, reflection becoming a little blurred.

Because for the first time in his life, Dean Winchester is going to let himself have what he wants.

Simply because, he wants it.

He spends the next few minutes just staring at his reflection like an idiot, and that thought causes the smile to grow wider, tipping his head back as a soft laugh bubbles up his throat.

But god he's felt lighter than he has in years.

"Everyone's here, are you ready to go?" Cas asks suddenly appearing in the doorway with a soft smile as Dean meets his eye in the mirror. His hair is a mess like always, but he's decked out in a rainbow striped shirt and socks, and he's even got a little flag painted on his cheek, and his smile grows even wider as his eyes pan down to Dean's waist.

And in three strides Dean's across the room and wrapped in his arms, staring into those wide eyes.

"I'm bisexual" Dean chokes out suddenly, voice thick as he releases a shaky breath he didn't realize he was holding. He quickly looks down, unable to meet Cas’ eye, unable to look at his reaction. Then hands are cupping his cheeks, slowly tilting his head upwards.

"I'm so proud of you" Cas whispers, thumbs wiping away stray tears Dean hadn't realized where falling. It pulls a watery laugh from his chest.

"Cmon, let's go before Sam starts bitchin’ about how late we are" Dean laughs, trying not to think too much about how big of a deal what he just said was. And he knows Cas can see right through him, but he thankfully lets it slide. But not before pressing a soft kiss to Dean's lips, and leading the way into the living room.

And later when Dean's standing downtown, he realizes he's more relaxed than he thought he'd be. Luckily nobody made a big deal about the flag at Dean's hip, and hell he even let Jack paint three little stripes on his cheek, but he definitely didn't miss the wide smile on Sam's face. And when they got to the small Pride event, Dean was surprised see a decent amount of people sporting the same colors, one girl even had her hair dyed the same colors, each person shooting Dean a small smile of acknowledgement. And now with Cas' arms wrapped around his waist, watching Claire, Kaia and Jack all dance around to the music blasting in the streets, as he wonders where Sam and Eileen have gone, he tries to memorize how he feels at this exact moment. Because he rea-

His thought is cut short by Cas suddenly pulling him down for a kiss, like he’d done a billion times before, but one of his hands comes to rest by the flag at his hip.

"I really am so proud of you" Cas whispers into the kiss, and Dean can feel the smile stretching across his lips, pulling him closer.

Yeah. Lighter than he's felt in years.

Tag list:

(please let me know if you'd like to be added or removed💛)

@wormstacheangel @smiledean @shelikestv @bichaoticdean @midnightwings-deancas @jellydeans @sunshine-jack @archervale @wikiangela @subbydean @organicpurplepants @you-cant-spell-subtext-without @writtendevastation

@tkdwolf2012 @doemons-blog @sinnabonka @rolling-stoned-girl @skylerkernaghan @icefire149 @dakiaty @seffersonjtarship @feraldean @teamfreebees @keshetcas @jewishdeanwinchester @martymar1963 @midnight-sparks-studio @aestheticflyer26

@slipper007 @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @winchester-novak @lyonessrampant @angelic-bee-enthusiast @nguyenxtrang @idiot-on-the-hill @fandoms-and-things @doreschary @confix @itsanending @thiscowboyisbisexual @milfcodeddean @blue-eyed-cutiepatootie @smokerdean

#okay fuck it. here it is #i really wasn't going to post this because like. this is a LOT and a lot of this is me projecting my thought process so pls be kind if its #shit or doesnt make sense or seems a little out there asffhakfha #i wasnt gonna write anything bc i knew this would make me insane and i was right. it did #this is quite literally so much projection.#literally this is 90% me projecting my 'bisexual journey' onto dean but i do think this would be his thought process i do #my bi dean manifesto #basically. deans bisexual journey with a psychoanalysis #bisexual #<<<<yay colors #bec writes #dean winchester #destiel #spnprideweek #destiel fic #castiel #jack kline #claire novak #sammy #eileen leahy #kaia nieves #deancas #casdean #destiel fanfic #qaslight #userzaddy #seraphcastiel #rambleoncas #offbeattraxx #friendshapedcastiel

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