#2020.....baby help me

[britcision]

So this week in “the universe makes a concerted effort to give me more panic attacks”:

- my sewing machine has broken for the second time this month. Last time it fixed itself. This time it will not. Tried replacing the plug in just in case it wasn’t the whole machine - no good

- went hunting for mother’s sewing machine, which needs an extra huge transformer to be plugged in in this country without burning down the house

- found mother’s machine. No transformer. Pooled the family brain trust. The transformer may have been thrown out (mother’s machine also despises me and was why I never picked up sewing again for a decade)

- partner’s mother’s sewing machine is 3 hours drive away each way, and they do not currently have anywhere we can stay over while retrieving it (this machine also HATES me and will not sew for more than 2 inches without jumping)

- we have at least 3 costumes to finish by mid May, all of which are at least 6 different garments - and another 2 by mid June

- my disabled ass has finished two costumes in May before, both much smaller and I nearly died

- just found out I need to entirely redo the lining on one of them from scratch because one of my panels was too small but I trimmed the goddamn seams early to try and french seam the fraying fuck

- for some ungodly reason the embroidery thread I was using to try and make a lil doll face is bleeding black dye across the fabric that will not wash out

- just found out I’m not getting anymore billable hours at work, possibly until mid April

- my insurance company has now decided to stop covering half my meds up front, correctly deducing that it’s gonna be way harder for me to submit receipts for reimbursement because their online portal is a hellscape. Unrelated to sewing crisis, just not helping

Fortunately I do not stand alone against said universe and between us partner and I were able to sneak in on a huge sale today and afford an actual new sewing machine, which can be repaired by the shop we bought it from if it also dies

(If we’d waited another 2 days no chance we could not have afforded it, woulda had to get a dinky baby machine and hope it was as powered by dark gods as the last one or go thrifting

One friend who went to sewing school has told me multiple times my previous machine should not exist (sewed 8 layers of insulated padding on tension setting 2) - the model is completely discontinued and I couldn’t even find refurbished

Another friend has now acquired 3 thrift/given machines, none of which actually work and are all missing parts

This was somehow literally the best week this could have happened if it had to happen at all)

So yeah hyperventilating still happened but I am learning new tricks to stop that and didn’t get a full blown panic attack, we remain triumphant

And we made pancake cookies

#rant #fuck this entire week but also thank fuck it was this week #also this is the sewing machine my grandmother gave me #the grandmother who died in the fall #so yeah that helped #gonna still get that machine fixed it’s an ungodly tank #new baby is working real nice #buuuuuuuuut i’m going to keep committing sewing crimes so i need the tank #rip brother ls-2020 idk why your motor can chew through multiple layers of vinyl

[homodennis]

feel like i'm 15 again hyperfixating on sunny rn but i'm having the time of my life

#SUNNY HF IS BACK BABY #after my first one ended in like spring 2020 i thought thatd be it #and then s15 came around and i was actually like. normal abt sunny #i think bc i had low expectations #and i mean it wasn't a bad season i thought it was alright #but s16... oh my goodness #the stuff that was coming out in the weeks before the premiere made me really excited #i think it also helped that a shit ton of stuff wasn't leaked early on like it was for s15 #with the casting call #i honestly was a little hesitant at first when the plot for the first 2 eps of s16 came out #but it did not take long for me to get excited about everything esp as more came out #and now the season has started and the premiere was great #so yeah anyways i am in super autism mode currently :] #iasip

[the-100th-witch]

hm

rant below

I run into this problem with my family a lot.

Before I was laid off, I was on a schedule (with either school or work or both) and all the other free time i had was open for helping my family (when i wasnt out with friends or working on school etc)

It was a little more balanced and i mean i was living at home rent free so of course i'd help my family here and there when i wasn't working on my school work or whatever.

I'm unemployed and trying to get things back rolling with this stupid cbest test and to substitute teach by next year yet every fucking day im asked to baby/house/pet sit and sure when im house/pet sitting i can literally just work on my shit there. But sometimes i kinda just want to be in my room or on my own schedule to work on my studying or 5 year plan without that stress on me. Given that I've been baby/house/pet sitting for every month of this year i just wanted November to be the month i just focus on myself.

I didn't tell anyone but i don't have too, i just decline and say I cant do it.

Then i get guilt tripped or told to go to starbucks/don't come out of my room if I dont want to be bothers like ok im trying not to spend money and now i gotta be locked up in my room? How about just take no for an answer???

I just wanted 1 month to decompress and focus on me. No obligations and no expectations.

I babysat this weekend after being sick the whole last week and now im being told "oh the kids are off school next week" well? I'm gonna be busy. Fucking go hire a babysitter.

#personal #it's like fuck i know im being helped out but im not literally sitting here waiting to baby/house/pet sit for all my family #im not hurting for money so i can afford to take a month off to you know TRY NOT TO UNEMPLOYED #i hate being unemployed and i want to really get this test over with so i can start the process to sub teach #and im gonna be looking at temp work if that gets derailed again but im really hoping to just sub teach since every school is needing them #this is why i hate living back at home and im tempted to move out again even without a job i did it 2020-2022 i can do it again #but i dont want any job just to pay the bills and derail my plans again i been helping my family this whole year #i think i paid my dues for just one month to focus on nothing by myself but i guess not #this is why i need to move a state away lmao #moving an hour and 40 mins wasnt enough i gave up every other weekend to help my family i mean it was a pandemic im not too mad #but i paid my dues in full i just want to pass this test before 2023 ends so i can get started fresh and back on track to my career #ok rant over i just hold this shit in and it explodes like damn dude you can't stretch me too thin like this

[brokenhardies]

OC AESTHETIC - LEIA

❝Like, no offense to myself and all, but what the fuck am I actually doing?❞

Taglist

@darth-caillic​ @sterling-writes​ @ryutabas​ @reirvival​ @arrthurpendragon​ @foxesandmagic​​ @eddysocs (want to be added or removed? send an ask or a dm!)

#ocappreciation #ocapp #ochub #queerocs #OC: Leia #story: dirty little secret #hey i resurrected another baby! #although by technicality this isnt leia from the original story set in 2009! its from a modernised 'reimagining' set in the 2020s but #w a heavy focus on leia and mike's friendship bc it was my fave part to write about dsl lol #also new fc who dis? i was debating between madelyn cline and kristen froseth #thanks to xotejays i went with madelyn who definetly fits leia's sassy vibes! #and now to cast everyone else 0_0 god help me lol

[phoenixiancrystallist]

Month 4, day 15

Fuck taxes, I made a butterfly :D

#the great artscapade of 2024 #art #my art #blender #blender render #blender 3d #eevee render #butterfly #I feel like I could have done made it pretty colors with procedural textures #but it's good to practice UV unwrapping and using texture maps #I only got about halfway done bc I did my taxes for this year today #I have to specify ''for this year'' because I've been forgetting to file since 2020 like a dumbass #anyway I owe the IRS $430 for this year alone and I'm Big Mad™ #the good news is I'm getting back more than that from the state so it's not gonna be too huge a deal #totally didn't cry about it #nosirree #totally didn't cry on the phone to my roommate or nothin' #(← liar) #(← cried like a baby) #(<- cried like a baby bc she was so fucking upset about owing the IRS she forgot she was getting anything back from state ;-;) #anyway I also did my 2022 (due 2023) taxes and... owed $490 #but getting back almost as much from the state so it offsets #haven't done 2020 and 2021 yet #too scared #also my roommate is giving me the contact info for his mom's tax prep lady #he says she can help me make sure I get back as much as humanly possible (if it is possible) #and he helped me unfuck my W-4 which caused this problem #paychecks are gonna be less awesome now but I'm also getting a $5 raise in September so it offsets #I hope #maybe

[esleep]

i actually do kinda like delivering groceries on the side because it gives me such a unique cross-section of the community. i never know whose groceries im shopping for until i finish the delivery and see them/their home and it's like it adds more detail to the picture of who they are. the baby supplies going to the apartment that i know for a fact is one bedroom (they'll be moving soon - i bet they're apartment hunting, i hope they find a place). the new cat litter box, bowl, and kitten food going to the house covered in "i <3 my dog" paraphernalia (a kitten definitely showed up on the porch recently and made itself at home). the fairly healthy boring grocery order that includes an incongruous tub of candy-filled ice cream going to the home of an elderly woman with toddler toys in the yard (it's clearly for her grandkids, whom she sees often).

shopping for someone else's groceries is a fairly intimate thing. i've bought condoms and pregnancy tests, allergy medicine and nyquil, baby benadryl and teething gel, a huge pile of veggies paired with an equally huge pile of junk food, tampons and shampoo and closet organizers and ant traps and deodorizing shoe inserts and a million other little things that tell a million different stories in their endless combinations. one time someone had me buy one single green bean. i messaged them to confirm that's actually what they wanted, and they said yes - neither of them liked green beans very much, but they had a baby they were introducing to solid foods, and they wanted to let him try one to see if he liked them. another time i had someone request 50 fresh roma tomatoes - not for a restaurant, but for a person in an apartment. the kitchen behind them smelled like basil and garlic when they opened the door. another time i brought groceries to three elderly blind women who share a house. that was one of the few times i have ever broken my rule and gone inside a place i've delivered to, because they asked if i could place the grocery bags in a specific location in the kitchen for them to work on unloading and there was no way i was going to refuse helping.

i gripe about the poor tippers, but people can also be incredibly kind. one time i took shelter from a sudden vicious hailstorm inside an older lady's home in a trailer park, while i was in the middle of delivering her groceries. we both huddled just inside the door, watching in shock as golf-ball-sized hail swept through for about five minutes and then disappeared. she handed me an extra $10 bill on my way out the door.

when covid was at its deadliest, people would leave extra (often lysol-scented) cash tips and thank-you notes for me taped to the door or partially under the mat. i especially loved the clearly kid-drawn thank you notes with marker renderings of blobby people in masks, or trees, or rainbows. in summer of 2020 i delivered to a nice older couple who lived outside of town in the hills, and they insisted i take a huge double handful of extra disposable gloves and masks to wear while shopping - those were hard to find in stores at the time, but they wanted me to have some of their supply and wouldn't take no for an answer.

anyway. all this to say people are mostly good, or at least trying to be, despite my complaints.

#long post

[drugeater]

I can’t do this

#I’m fucking selfish #I hurt myself and expect to be cared for and just hurt everyone around me #I feel identical to how I did like winter of 2020 aka worst period of my life #like it is strange #have started fucking ticing again too #I just idk what to do #I need HELP as they say #In little baby mode all of the time 💔💔

[sharlsworld]

a digital love letter - ʟɴ4 ☆

✿ lando norris x influencer!reader

✿ a glimpse of all the post’s from when they were “just friends”, to there engagement announcement, to the announcement of there first child.

———

june 1st, 2020

lando.jpg

liked by alex_albon and 83,924 others

lando.jpg when i asked y/n if she wanted to quarantine with me i didn’t think it would be this long…

yn if you ask me to make one more batch of cloud bread i will lock you outside

⤷ lando.jpg well that’s awfully rude considering i offered you my home

⤷ yn you literally begged me to quarantine with you???

⤷ lando.jpg no need for the details

maxfewtrell couple goals

⤷ lando.jpg fuck off

hearts4lando “just friends” ok buddy 😭

beloved.hamilton just a COUPLE of friends!😄

charles_leclerc i think this quarantine has got your mind all mixed up cause…

lilac.leclerc there so oblivious 😭

f1wags i smell…a incoming wag 👀

———

august 10th, 2020

lando.jpg

liked by georgerussell63 and 984,118 others

lando.jpg took my girl to dinner and let her go shopping for her birthday…never again. she really knows how to spend money

carlossainz55 “my girl” ???

⤷ lando.jpg is she not my girl? she never leaves me alone

⤷ yn you give off this tough guy act like you don’t ask me to hangout every day

⤷ lando.jpg once again, no need for all the details jeez women

landolovesyn it’s the fact she literally makes so much money but he still wants to pay for her stuff really tugs on my heart strings 😪

sharls_lerklerk PAINFULLY OBLIVIOUS

pierregasly cmon mate

⤷ lando.jpg what?

landolovesyn Heather 🤩

———

january 1st, 2021

lando.jpg

liked by charles_leclerc and 1,746,023 others

lando.jpg happy new year bitches 🥳

yn been waitin for this one

⤷ georgerussell63 We all have

⤷ alex_albon seriously everyone

⤷ carlossainz55 Seriously

danielricciardo Took you guys long enough

⤷ yn 1 year is a reasonable amount of time

maxfewtrell NO PHOTO CREDIT?

⤷ lando.jpg no

lilymhe sooo when’s the wedding?

⤷ alex_albon watch they’ll probably get engaged this year

♥︎ by author

ynissocutiepatootie IT FINALLY HAPPENED

lovely_leclerc stop he took her to see the lights 😢

daddyricciardo i wonder how long they’ve been dating before deciding to go public

———

april 14th, 2021

lando.jpg

liked by yukitsunoda05211 and 824,722 others

lando.jpg i was feeling a little down today, but you DEFINITELY turned me on

yn can i help loosen your belt? it looks really tight 😉

⤷ lando.jpg you’ll never catch me saying no to that baby 😏

charles_leclerc Oh come on there’s children on this app lando

carlossainz55 I just opened the app mate

maxverstappen1 Well enough instagram for the day

georgerussell63 I could’ve lived the rest of my life without seeing this

⤷ lando.jpg don’t be hating

estiebestie lando is just a horny teenage boy honestly

♥︎ by yn

landowantsrizz i feel like i’m interrupting something…

hoeforsianzzz so there definitely getting down every night

♥︎ by author & yn

⤷ lilac.leclerc HELLO??? THESE BITCHES MUST BE GETTING DOWN LIKE BUNNIES

———

october 22nd, 2021

lando.jpg

liked by lewishamilton and 7,824,023 others

lando.jpg i couldn’t wait any longer

yn so impatient

⤷ lando.jpg i just couldn’t wait to call you my wife

⤷ yn good thing i said yes then

carlossainz55 Congratulations mate! 🎉🥂

♥︎ by author

lewishamilton Congrats man that’s amazing ♥️

♥︎ by author

maxverstappen1 Congrats bro ♥️

♥︎ by author

lilymhe the gold band 😨

⤷ yn ikr i was flabbergasted

♥︎ by author

charles_leclerc Congrats lando! ❤️

♥︎ by author

danielricciardo Let’s go boys 🥳

♥︎ by author

oscarpiastri Congratulations mate, i’m so happy for you 🧡

⤷ lando.jpg 🧡

maxfewtrell little lando norris finally grew some balls

⤷ lando.jpg i can never win 💔

mclaren To forever! 🧡

♥︎ by author

alex_albon i called it

♥︎ by author

landolovesyn the fact this has 7 million likes and he doesn’t have 7 million followers on this account 😭

lando.norizz THE GOLD BAND? LANDO NORRIS YOU’VE OUTDONE YOURSELF

sharls_lerklerk been here since the video of her accidentally dropping her hydroflask on his foot at one of the races in 2019😭

⤷ lando.jpg i still have the tiny scar on my little toe

———

january 1st, 2022

lando.jpg

liked by oscarpiastri and 792,614 others

lando.jpg happy new year bitches 👀

yn happy new year whore

⤷ carlossainz55 and to think you two are getting married soon…

charles_leclerc Oh thanks mate

⤷ lando.jpg i wasn’t talking to you

⤷ charles_leclerc Alrighty…

georgerussell63 This was such a elegant, mature post, until i saw the caption

⤷ lando.jpg you shouldn’t be surprised

landolovesyn literally all of his posts are about y/n

⤷ hearts4lando basically a fan page

estiebestie i’ll never get tired of seeing lando’s posts for y/n

carlando there relationship is so perfect

lilymhe don’t think just because you two are getting married that she’s yours

⤷ lando.jpg take the L 🤣

———

october 22nd, 2022

lando.jpg

liked by lewishamilton and 28,942,861 others

lando.jpg My greatest love, you are my one and only. From the day you dropped your hydroflask on my foot and laughed until you were crying I knew you were gonna be mine one day, I can’t think of anyone better to spend eternity with. In every universe, I will find you. When death takes my hand, I will hold you with the other, and promise to find you in every lifetime. I love you for everything you are, everything you have been, and everything you will be. You are my destiny, I love you endlessly. ♥️

yn ok…i’m literally sobbing right now i love you so much lando

⤷ lando.jpg i love you the most

danielricciardo Turned on auto caps for this one congrats man i’m so happy of you ♥️

♥︎ by author

lewishamilton I wish you two a lifetime of happiness and health ♥️

♥︎ by author

carlossainz55 To a lifetime of bullying each other! ♥️

♥︎ by author

charles_leclerc Little lando norris isn’t so little anymore? 😂 Congratulations man ♥️

♥︎ by author

mclaren Congratulations lando & y/n! 🧡

♥︎ by author & yn

landolovesyn y/n norris 🥹

lando.norizz crying in the club

lilymhe she was mine first.

⤷ lando.jpg not even

lilymhe congratulations, i guess ♥️

♥︎ by author

alex_albon Congratulations lando ♥️

♥︎ by author

georgerussell63 Can’t believe how far you’ve came mate! Congratulations ♥️

♥︎ by author

francisca.cgomes such a beautiful wedding…should’ve been me and y/n’s but still! ♥️

♥︎ by author

carmenmmundt Congratulations ♥️

♥︎ by author

———

february 29th, 2024

lando.jpg

liked by maxverstappen1 and 10,523,792 others

lando.jpg Mathéo Lee Norris. 2.10.23 ♥️

comments for this post have been limited

yn my boy 🤍 i love you lan

⤷ lando.jpg i love you the most baby

lilymhe cutest baby boy 💙

♥︎ by author & yn

charles_leclerc I bet he misses his favorite uncle already

⤷ carlossainz55 excuse me?

⤷ charles_leclerc your excused

⤷ maxfewtrell cmon guys, obviously i’m the favorite uncle

⤷ charles_leclerc no

alexandrasaintmleux cutie boy 💙

♥︎ by author & yn

carmenmmundt Mathéo is the cutest 🥰

♥︎ by author & yn

lewishamilton A gift from God ♥️

♥︎ by author & yn

alex_albon bro has more hair then me

♥︎ by author & yn

———

march 26th, 2024

lando.jpg

liked by carlossainz55 and 19,982,713 others

lando.jpg a digital love letter for you, the light of my life. my life long treasure of destiny. you are the greatest gift God has blessed me with. i love you endlessly ♥️

comments for this post have been limited

yn you sweet talker, i love you lan 🤍

⤷ lando.jpg i love you the most baby 🤍

landolovesyn guys…this might be heather

♥︎ by author

#lando norris #f1 smau #lando norris x reader #lando norris smau #lando norris fluff #f1 imagine #lando norris imagine

[unidentifiedfuckingthing]

btw the wipe front to back thing is a myth. it might as well work but theres 0 scientific or empirical evidence that it actually prevents utis. the number of people saying that using a bidet only works for men because itll give them utis so recommending them is misogynistic is making me so 💢

#this information is from 2020 when i had What I Thought was a uti but was more likely an autoimmune attack in my bladder #that looked exactly like a uti. and doctors did not help me and just acted like i was drug seeking (FOR ANTIBIOTICS????) #literally one of the most traumatic experiences of my life #anyway i was just doctor googling because the actual doctor who i paid 200 uninsured dollars to see just gave me the like #patient caretaker explaining to a baby that things are unfair sometines voice and said i had a yeast infection and gave me The Smallest #regimen that exists for that. and it didnt do anything. and like saying that im wondering if she was literally trying to fucking placebo me

[honestlywynter]

Stop Obsessing Over The Void And Subliminals (kinda rude rant)

as a person who started interest in the loa in late 2020 discovering subliminals. LOA is simple, idk why it took me 4 years to understand. manifesting is easy.

if you have struggles with manifesting. don't panic imma help you from being like me 😜.

1. Realize you are in control

Stop STOP and i mean fucking STOP. Giving the void and subliminals so much fucking power and bitching about it " OH MY GOSH i didnt enter the void wtf am i gonna doooo 😪 " or " THE SUBLIMINAL SAID 5 Seconds and it would work where is my SP? "

like gorl u sound desperate as fuckkkkk lol

but heres how we change this. first the problem is YOU. why the fuck you depending on some tool? thats like me depending on my feet to make my decisions and getting mad when my feet dont say shit back to me. LOL

but no you just need to strengthen your self concept. you can do this BYYYYY

- repeating affirmations during the day

- changing your thoughts

- Rampages

- &&&& Drumroll pleaaaaseeeee .... 🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁

Sleep affirmations. they slip into your consciousness at night :)....At the end i will link my FAVORITE VIDEOS, for the self concept.

2. MANIFEST

oh shit you thought this was gon be long huh? no bookie its just two things. better your self concept and start manifesting. NOW i am gonna some tips.

stop giving the 3d power when you make the 3d...

EXAMPLE:

you start your day saying " oh i have my ideal body im soooo freaking happy i finally did it, like i been x pounds for everrr and i love my body "

and then the second you look in the mirror you like " damn bruh i wish i had my ideal body "

cause like why tf did you just ruin your fucking manifestation, why did you fucking react????

When you look in that mirror this is what they mean by " old story ".

Instead, look in the mirror and close your eyes and imagine your ideal body, or just deny it. " who the fuck is that in the mirror, gorll ik thats not me cause i got my ideal body ive had it since 1823 "

ALSO

dont let your thoughts rule u, u rule them. if you are in public and think " omg they looking at me cause think im big" NO dont do that...

instead say

" Girl they looking at me bc i got my ideal body, and i been had it since a baby in da tummy ahh"

exactly change that mindset. thats it. all you have to do is catch yourself, improve your thoughts and your self concept will be thru the mf roof. So den you can manifest in a snap of a fingerrr. period thats the magic 🪄 sauce bookie. also dont say will say have cause you already have it bookie bear ;)

im open for questions and i am open to telling what ive manifested WITHOUT some dumb ass void or subliminal lol.

heres the video; BTW LOOK AT HER PAGE SHE HAS MUCH MORE.

#manifesting #loassumption #loa tumblr #loa blog #loa success #void #void state #void success #the void #the void state #manifesation #manifest method #void method #void meditation #void motivation #manifest #meditation #instant manifestation #Youtube

[joelsgreys]

lean on me

Post Outbreak! Joel Miller x Female Reader

series masterlist

summary: It's been three months since you and Joel left your baby daughter with Bill and Frank in Lincoln; you aren't coping well and Joel tries to help you get through it.

pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI. BOSTON QZ ERA ((TW)) though it is not explicitly stated, it is implied reader is suffering from postpartum depression. mentions of being unable to breastfeed. angst, hurt, comfort, tiniest hint of fluff at the end.

word count: 3.7k

a/n: this was only meant to be a short drabble, but it ended up getting longer than i anticipated. sorry for more angst.

September, 2020

Joel had known things would get bad.

But he hadn’t expected for them to get this fucking bad.

He glanced across the table at Tess, quietly asking, “She eat today?”

Tess let out a small sigh, shaking her head. “Nope.” She picked up her chipped, ceramic mug and took a sip of crappy, two decades old dark roast coffee and stated, “She didn’t eat anything yesterday, either. Or the day before that or the one before that. I can barely get her to take a fucking sip of water these days.”

“Fuckin’ hell, Tess! We can’t just sit around watchin’ her starve herself,” he hissed at her, his hands curling into fists on the table. 

She shot him an irritated look. “You think I don’t know that already?”

“Tess—”

“What are we going to do, Joel? Pin her down and force feed her?”

Joel’s jaw clenched, his lips pressing together in a tight, thin line. He glanced over at you with a heavy, sinking feeling inside of his chest at the mere sight of your current state. 

You were sitting on the bed in the same pair of gray sweatpants you’d been wearing for the last couple of days, your knees pulled up to your chest as you stared blankly, vacantly, out of the window beside you at absolutely nothing. You were beginning to appear frail—the current tone of your skin was so dull, so washed out that anybody who took one glance at you would probably think that you had spent your entire life locked away in some basement, never having seen the fucking sunshine before. The pallor of your skin was only emphasized by the dark, bruise-like circles underneath your eyes, courtesy of the long and sleepless nights you’d been having, especially lately. 

You had fallen deep into a sadness, a darkness—one so deep that you had become nothing but a mere shadow of your former self. You were an empty shell of a human being and it was starting to scare the fucking shit out of Joel. 

“Maybe if we took her to see the baby?” Tess suggested, quietly. She took another sip of her coffee and then set her mug down. “Frank has been wondering why you two haven’t been over there to see her. Hell, even Bill is curious why I’ve been going over there alone.” After having done some digging around, Tess managed to find someone in the QZ who had helped her get her hands on homemade infant formula; it was worth gold and only ever went to officials of a higher ranking who could actually afford it. Somehow, she’d pulled a few strings and the next thing Joel knew, Tess was loading a pack full of cans to take over to Lincoln. She’d made a couple more trips since then, and each time, she had gone alone. “It’s been over three months, Joel. Maybe it’s finally time—maybe it would help her.”

“In her condition?” Joel shook his head, adamantly. “No. For one, she wouldn’t fuckin’ make it a mile down the road before collapsing—from exhaustion, from starvation, you name it. And even if she could make the trip somehow, the truth is, she’s not ready to see her.” He lowered his voice to keep you from overhearing him, although at this point, he was certain that you were too zoned out to even pay attention. Every word was probably going in through one ear and out the other. “I hate to say it, but she’s just not strong enough to see her yet, Tess.”

“And what about you, Texas? What’s your excuse?”

He glared at her. “You really think I can leave her here alone in a state like this while we go skippin’ off to Lincoln together?”

“Good point.” Tess paused and peered curiously at him. “You haven’t even told her what they named her, have you?”

“Don’t think that’s such a good idea right now, either.” Joel held back a heavy sigh as he looked down into his own mug of shitty coffee. A huge part of him wished that she hadn’t told him what Bill and Frank ended up naming the baby. Since then, his daughter’s name echoed in the back of his mind, over and over again, damn near constantly.

“Joel, if we don’t do something, she’s going to wind up—” Tess could see his jaw clench again and she stopped herself, choosing her words more carefully. “She’s walking on thin ice. She’s not eating, she’s not sleeping. She’s already been in lockup twice this week alone because she can’t even keep up with work detail anymore. I know this is hard for you to hear, but if something doesn’t change soon, things are only going to get worse from here—she’ll get worse. You’re the only one of the two of us who actually has a chance of getting through to her and you need to fucking do something.”

“Tess, I’ve tried—”

“Well fucking try harder, Joel. If you don’t, you’ll fucking lose her. You know that, right?”

“I know.” Joel rubbed his face tiredly with both of his hands. He knew it was nothing but the truth that she was speaking, but goddamn the truth fell onto his shoulders heavy, almost too heavy. It felt as though he were carrying the weight of the entire fucking planet. But she was right. If something wasn’t done, he was going to lose you. “Tess, you mind if I have a minute alone with her?”

She nodded and took one last gulp of coffee before standing up from the table. “Yeah. I have to go see Robert and a couple of his buffoons about something anyway.” As she walked past him towards the door, she stopped and tossed him a pointed look. “Maybe today is the day that you finally decide to give her that thing that you’ve been carrying around in your pocket,” she suggested. “We went through a lot of shit for it, Joel. It’s the reason we have been drinking crappier coffee than usual for the last two weeks.”

He nodded, watching her as she grabbed her jacket and left.

After a minute or two, Joel finally pushed himself away from the table and rose to his feet. He made his way over to you, and he wasn’t even the slightest bit surprised at how you didn’t turn to acknowledge him despite the sound of his heavy boots on the creaking hardwood floor. He said your name as he came closer to you, but you remained as still as a stone statue, your eyes still fixed outside of the window.

“Alright,” he said, standing next to you at the side of the bed, both of his hands placed firmly on his hips. “Enough is fuckin’ enough. I can’t and I won’t let you keep carryin’ on like this. Either you get up and get your ass over to that table and eat somethin’ or I’m going to pick you up off of this bed, take you over there, and feed you myself. And don’t think I won’t. I’ll tie you down to the chair if that’s what I’ve gotta do.”

Finally, you turned to look at him. You spoke, your voice sounding just as fragile as you looked. “I’m not hungry.”

Joel’s expression immediately softened.

Fuck. 

He couldn’t be tough on you, not in the state you were in—he thought being hard on you would be the way to get through to you, but he just didn’t have it in him to be stern with you, not when you were like this.

“Baby. Please.” He knelt down beside you, reaching for your hand. He winced at how frigid your hand felt in his palm, as if he were holding a block of ice. He brought his other hand up and placed it on top, doing his best to warm it up with both of his. “Look, I get it. I know that you miss her. I know that you’re hurtin’ over her. You might not think I get it, but I do.” He paused, feeling sick to his stomach upon noticing the lifelessness in your eyes. He almost wished that he could see you cry, because at least he would know for certain that you were still in there somewhere—but Joel hadn’t seen you shed a single tear since you’d broken down sobbing in his arms that night in Lincoln. “You just can’t keep goin’ on like this. You don’t eat, you’ve barely slept in weeks. You keep fallin’ behind with all your work assignments and you’ve landed yourself in lockup more times than I can fuckin’ count because of it.”

You simply shrugged, as if you couldn’t give two shits about any of it.

Joel managed to bite back his sigh of frustration. He knew that losing his temper would do nothing more than sink you further into the hole you were currently in. But he was angry. He was just so fucking angry about about everything. Here you were, just slipping right through his fucking fingers, slowly fading away right before his own two eyes and he didn’t know what to do to stop it from happening. He felt lost. He felt hopeless—useless. 

He squeezed your hand out of desperation. He would fucking plead if he had to. “I need you to fuckin’ snap out of it. Please,” he begged, as he continued holding your hand tightly, holding onto it as if he were holding onto dear life itself. “Please, for the love of fuckin’ god, I need you to just snap out of it. If not for yourself, fuckin’ do it for me—do it for her.”

“Snap out of it?” You repeated. “You want me to just snap out of it?”

“Baby, please just listen to me for one goddamn second—”

You snatched your hand out of both of his. “I can’t just fucking snap out of it, Joel!” You nearly shouted at him, speaking the loudest he’d heard you speak in several weeks. “Alright? I can’t snap out of it! My heart is shattered into pieces, don’t you fucking understand that?”

“‘Course I do. Givin’ her up was hard for me too,” he reminded you quietly, resisting the urge to match your tone. 

“And I don’t deny that,” You prefaced yourself. “I know it was hard on you too, Joel. But you’re not the one who came this close, this damn fucking close to aborting her.” You held up your index finger and your thumb close together. You’d started trembling as everything seemed to catch up to you all at once—sleep deprivation, malnourishment and of course, the emotions you had been bottling up inside of you for the last three months. “You’re not the one who carried her inside of your womb for almost nine months, who felt every one of her flutters and her kicks. You’re not the one who had to go through the excruciating pain of giving birth to her in this crumbling apartment, only to have to place her in someone else’s arms and leave her behind three days later. You’re not the one who had to deal with the aftermath, Joel. Do you know how much it fucking hurt not to be able to feed her? How much it fucking sucked to have to wait for your milk supply to dry up because you no longer had a baby to feed?”

For the first time in a long time, Joel was left speechless. 

He didn’t know what to say. Hell, there was nothing he could say.

Because you were absolutely fucking right.

None of what you’d just said to him was a lie. Of course he knew that giving the baby up had been a hundred times harder on you than it’d been on him—mentally, emotionally, and even physically. He thought back to the nights when he would see you sitting there with your own arms wrapped around your chest, knowing you were aching, knowing that although you said nothing about it, you were in unbearable pain from being unable to breastfeed. 

And what could he do about it?

Not a goddamn fucking thing.

Still, Joel had tried. He always made the attempt to comfort you, only to be shot down time and time again. He’d been so used to being the one who rejected any kind of support that, when the tables had been turned on him, he hadn’t known how to handle it. Joel could feel the guilt slowly creeping in as he wondered if perhaps he just hadn’t tried hard enough for you. He was your partner—it was his duty to take care of you, to look out for you, to protect you, and yet here he was, failing to do any of that. 

He could have done more. 

He should have done more.

Especially after all the friction he’d caused from the beginning of your pregnancy. From letting you go to those crooked motherfuckers for a procedure that could have cost you your life, down to the way he had treated you the night you’d brought up Sarah, it seemed as though all Joel had been doing was fucking up, time after time. 

Seeing the expression on Joel’s face, you immediately knew what he must have been thinking. Your eyes widened and you quickly uttered a nearly breathless apology. “Joel, I’m so fucking sorry—”

He stopped you, tightly shaking his head. “No, don’t be. It’s true, it’s all fuckin’ true.”

Finally, after three months of bone-dry eyes, a warm tear slipped out, falling down the side of your face. Your entire body shuddered as the flood gates opened and more followed in suit, each one falling faster, harder than the last. The next thing you knew, Joel had pulled himself up onto the mattress beside you, pulling you into his arms just as you had started sobbing. With one hand, he delicately cradled the back of your head as you cried and cried into his shoulder. The other rubbed a soothing circle into your back over and over again. 

And just like that night in Lincoln, Joel just held you, waiting patiently as you finally allowed yourself to release each and every single one of your emotions out into the open. He didn’t say a word to you, nor did he attempt to stop the tears—he just held you close, merely using his touch to silently let you know that he would wait as long as he had to until you were finished.

“Joel,” You sniffed his name, your hands clutching fistfuls of his shirt.

“I’m right here, baby,” he assured you, holding you even closer against him, as close as humanly possible. His heartbeat was right in your ear and you closed your eyes, listening to it and letting it calm you. “I told you I wasn’t gonna let you carry this pain alone, darlin’. You remember that?”

You nodded against his chest, whispering, “I remember.”

“Well then, you’ve gotta let me help you,” Joel said into your hair. “For three months, I’ve been tryin’ but you just keep pushin’ me away. It doesn’t work like that. I need you to lean on me. I need for you to let me back in and help you because the road you’re headin’ down right now is a dangerous one.” 

Opening your eyes, you pulled away from him slightly, just far enough to meet his worried gaze. You could see the absolute fucking hell that you had been putting him through and felt your heart clench painfully inside of your chest. “I know I can’t keep going on like this, Joel,” You admitted softly to him. “Believe me, I know that. I tried so hard to get a fucking grip. There have been so many days where I think to myself, today is the day that I’m going to get my shit together. But then I just think of her sweet and innocent little face and I just fall apart all over again.” You muffled another sob with the palm of your hand.

“Oh, baby.” He gave your body a gentle, but firm squeeze. If he could take your pain away, all of it, and carry it along with his own, he would do it in a fucking heartbeat. 

You swallowed harshly. “I know she is far better off where she is, Joel, I know that she is. I never want her falling into the hands of FEDRA. It kills me to think of her being here in this shitty fucking place, going to their shitty fucking school.” Your voice broke at the mere thought of it all. “We know what would happen, Joel. As soon as she comes of age and meets their requirement, they will put her through their recruiting program. After her training, they either deem her worthy of becoming a fucking ruthless officer or they will give her the shittiest civilian jobs making her work for scraps of nothing, the same way they do to us.”

Joel sighed, rubbing your back again. “I know, baby. I know. It’s why we did what we did. We did what we had to do to spare her from that shit.”

“But then there’s this selfish part of me that wants her back so badly, so fucking badly that it makes me fucking ache,” You confessed, guilt lacing your tone of voice. “I just want the hurt to stop. I want to be at peace with the decision that we made, but the way I miss her, it feels almost impossible. I feel like I’ll never be able to accept that this is the way things have to be.”

“You have to accept it—we have to accept it. We ain’t got a choice,” Joel spoke the truth to you as gently as he could, though he knew it wouldn’t make a difference.

“I know,” You whispered, your eyes glazing over with fresh tears.

He stared at you for a moment and then pressed his lips against your forehead. Deciding it was time to show you what he’d been keeping a secret from you, Joel reached into the pocket of his jeans, pulling out a small, crumpled up wad of brown tissue paper. With one of his arms still around you, he used both of his hands to unwrap the tissue paper only to reveal a delicate silver chain—a bit too old to be shiny, but still in good shape nonetheless. Joel picked it up and tossed the tissue off to the side. He held it up in front of you to give you a better look at it. 

A single white pearl hung from the chain. 

“Joel, where did you get this?” You gasped lightly, taking it from him with trembling fingers. You didn’t even want to know what the hell he must have had to do or trade for it. Sure, jewelry was one of the most useless items that anyone could possess in this world because it no longer had any monetary value, but if someone wanted something bad enough and another person had it, then advantage was going to be taken somewhere, somehow. 

“Don’t you worry ‘bout that, darlin’.”

You glanced up at him, an incredulous look in your eyes. “Joel.”

He almost chuckled, knowing you wouldn't let him off that easy. “I’d mentioned to Tess that I wanted to get you somethin’ special to carry around with you, somethin’ that would remind you of her. Tess said a pearl was the birthstone for June, and so I asked her to help me find one a few weeks ago. She found some guy and I cut a deal for it. But that’s all I’m tellin’ you.”

Joel took the necklace from you and beckoned for you to turn around for him. Moving your hair aside, he reached around you and clasped it at the back of your neck. “I’d rather only you wear it when you’re here in the apartment. Once you go outside, it stays hidden in your pocket so no one sees it, alright?”

You turned back around to face him. “I don’t even know what to say. I can’t believe you did this for me, Joel.” You reached for his hands and held them tightly in your own as you shot him a sincere, grateful look. “Thank you.”

He leaned forward, lightly brushing his mouth against yours. “Baby?”

“Yes?” You murmured against his lips.

Joel squeezed your hands, hesitating for a moment before he said, “I know I’ve only ever said it to you once—that night. Outside of Bill and Frank’s place. But I need you to know that I love you. The truth is, I’ve been lovin’ you for a long time now. Never had it in me to admit it, not even to myself.” His eyes met yours in such a tender way that you felt a part of your broken heart begin to heal itself. It was just a small part, and you knew that unless you had your daughter back, it would never mend itself completely. Still, it was enough to give you a sense of hope. It was just enough to remind you that you would be able to find the strength in you to survive this pain. If you had any reason to keep going, it was right there it front of you. It was Joel. “I love you. I’m gonna do everythin’ that I can to help you through this. All you’ve gotta do is lean on me, alright?”

“I love you, Joel.” Though you’d said it to him once before, it still felt a bit foreign to say out loud.

It felt right, though. And it felt right hearing him say it to you. 

Reaching up, you lightly clasped the pearl in your hand. You leaned into Joel’s chest and felt him wrap his arms around you. 

“Y’know,” Joel said, breaking the momentary silence that had fallen over you, “Tess said Frank’s been wondering why we haven’t been over to see her yet. I know it might still be a bit too soon for you, but—” He let his sentence trail.

Though he didn’t say it out loud, you could hear it in his voice.

He wanted to see the baby.

“I’m not ready for that just yet,” You admitted. “I want to see her more than anything, but look at me. I’m a fucking mess.” You paused, clutching onto the pearl a little tighter. “Maybe we can try in a few weeks? What do you think?”

Joel kissed the top of your head. “Soon as you’re ready, say the word and we’ll go.”

#joel miller x you #joel miller x reader #joel miller imagine #joel miller angst #joel miller hbo #joel miller pedro pascal #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x wife!reader #joel miller x y/n #joel miller drabble #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fic #fic: tdtrt

[abbyshands]

for you

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♡ synopsis; making a home out of catalina island for years on end had been wonderful, but for most of it, you had been derived of the last piece of the puzzle: abigail anderson. you were a skilled medic, so when abby had showed up, you had cared for her, and nursed her back to the girl she was, helping her to heal, and to find home the same way you had. now, it’s abby’s chance to return the favor.

♡ pairing; abby anderson x fem!reader

♡ warnings; lot of game references, some of which include infected, the WLF, plot of the first and second game, loss, violence, etc, general angst (ish) in the beginning, but fluffy at the end, i promise, reader loses her dad in the backstory, and there’s a heavily established backstory for the reader, abby uses nicknames (my love, babe, gorgeous), reader calls abby baby, just general angst n’ fluff tbh!

♡ a/n; sooo this idea has been sitting in my notes app for the longest time, and to be honest, i’m not sure how i feel about the finished product! i don’t think it’s my best work? i don’t know. i like the idea but i’m unsure about the way i executed it. maybe i’ll revisit it at some point, but this is what i’ve got for now ♡

anyway ,, this is for my ray, n’ my ray only. happy bday, gorgeous! i genuinely can’t get enough of you, and getting to speak to you on a daily basis is such a fucking privilege to me. i’m so lucky to say you’re a part of my life, n’ i wouldn’t trade you for the world. i hope you like this, @andersonlore <3

♡ wc; 4.5k

divider creds !

YOUR LIPS, MY LIPS. APOCALYPSE.

If someone had told you four years prior that this is where you would be today, you would’ve checked them for a bite mark.

Because they would have been losing their mind.

2034, and all the years beforehand, were years unforgettable. The person you were couldn’t imagine a life that wasn’t the one you had. Infected roamed, and danger lurked. But love prevailed.

And you were lucky to be a part of it.

You were born in Boston, Massachusetts in the 2010’s at an unlucky hour. To an unlucky life. You had lost your mom before you could say your own name, and the only biological family you had ever gotten to know in your life was your dad, who was the reason you were where you were today in the first place.

When you were young, your dad joined a group once asked to by the leader of it, a woman named Marlene. Since then, and for as long as you could remember, this group has been your place to call home.

They called themselves the Fireflies for the very bug they took the name from: Their goal was to spread luminescence in a world full of darkness. Your dad, who was an incredibly skilled medic, was roped into it when you were younger, for that very reason. And because of the group’s dire need for medics at the time, their leader, Marlene, who was an old friend of your dad’s, asked him to join, all but begged him to, really.

Your dad wasn’t one to deny anyone in need. It was in his nature, and it was why he was such a great medic. So, of course, he agreed.

But only if there would be a place for you, too.

Your dad raised you up as a member of the Fireflies, and then later as a medic, and it was because of him that you were who you were: A resilient individual, a survivor, and yet, a person who embodied compassion, just as he did.

The years went by hazily, the older you got, anyway. You became just as immersed into your work as your dad did, bettering your medical knowledge on a daily basis, be it by old books, rusted cassettes, or your dad himself. But all the while, you managed to balance work, love, and family, and, in a world like this one, that was a lot more than most people could say.

For obvious reasons, you couldn’t remember the 2010’s. Then came the 2020’s, which sped by your eyes. But the 2030’s as a general consensus were years ingrained into your brain. Full of friendship, family, and love? At times. But they also encompassed chaos, despair, and pressure, and changed your life forever.

And forever was a long time.

In the year 2033, all that you believed was true about the world as you knew it, crumbled to the ground. In a land following an apocalypse, it wasn’t uncommon to feel as if there was no way out, as if the life you lived had hit a place of no return.

Now, if only there was a way to fix it. A cure, right?

It was late one evening while you were working on somebody in the Fireflies’ medical center, that Marlene came into the room, expression serious, and voice showing for it. Once you had the person you had been caring for under control, you followed Marlene out of the center, and into a room of a pair of people, one familiar, and one not.

Your dad, and a man who would later become a crucial figure in this tale: Surgical expert, Doctor Jerry Anderson.

You didn’t understand what Marlene, your dad, and Mr. Anderson, as you used to call him, were getting at when you were first pulled into that room. All that they were explaining to you was blurring inside of your head.

Because it was unlike anything you had heard before.

Your ears were told a tale that you had heard on numerous occasions. A girl who was only a few years younger than you, was bitten. You weren’t sure how. But it didn’t really matter, did it? Everyone who was bitten turned into an animal in a matter of days. It didn’t matter how she had gotten the bite mark. It didn’t even matter where on her body the mark was. All you knew was that in a few days, this girl that was being described to you, would no longer be human. That she would no longer have control over her body, and she would no longer know right from wrong, up from down, man from woman. All she would know, was kill. Kill. Kill.

Unless she was one in a million.

Ellie Williams was hardly a human in your mind when you originally heard, but a God given chance, to fix the world as you knew it. You never believed you would live to see the day where a bite mark was a good thing, and yet, it was here, gazing you in the eyes.

Immunity. She was immune. The auburn haired girl had been bitten three weeks prior to the date you heard about this, and zilch. As Marlene had explained to you, it was like the mark was healing, not worsening. 

And in a desolate world, where danger lurked every corner, where sorrow was normalized, and where loss was ceaseless, you were desperate. The Fireflies were desperate. Hope like this didn’t come on a daily basis, now, did it?

You jumped on the prospect as soon as you became conscious of it. All of you did.

Graciously unaware that it would blow up in your face.

In the earlier days of 2034, Ellie was smuggled to a Firefly base in Salt Lake City, a medical center, where your dad, Mr. Anderson, and several Fireflies were residing. As head medic by this point, you decided to remain in Boston caring for the members of your group back home, especially in the absence of your dad and Mr. Anderson.

It’s your life’s biggest regret.

Marlene had asked that you come to the Salt Lake City medical center as soon as you could, and to employ someone else to take over for a bit. Mr. Anderson was a good doctor, but he had decided that to perform proper surgery on Ellie, he would need a few more hands. You were honored that it was you he had chosen. To you, it was on the same level as getting an award. And so, alongside Marlene, and a few more members of the group, you made your way to Salt Lake City, your hopes in your hands, and dreams in your heart.

There was a point during the journey, however, where you ran into some trouble. Infected. And naturally, you were not just a medic: You knew how to survive in a world like this, and you knew how to hold your ground.

Splitting up wasn’t usually recommended when it came to any scenario, and for good reasons. However, it was your only choice. You and everyone beside you aside from Marlene, split up to make sure that she was the first one to make it to the medical center. You remember the last thing you said to her like a movie on loop in your head. See you soon.

And it plagues your brain like the virus that grips your world.

See you soon. You wish you had never said it. You wish you had never split up.

You wish it hadn’t happened.

You did see Marlene. But she was no longer alive when it happened. Fear grasped your bones as your body paralyzed, eyes glued to Marlene’s bloody corpse on the second floor of the medical center’s parking garage.

Tears filled your eyes, slipping down your cheeks. And then, you remembered.

Dad.

You took off running, brain not even processing that you could be putting yourself in danger by doing so. Whoever had done this to Marlene couldn’t be faraway from the building for all you knew. Hell, they could even be in it. But you didn’t care.

You booked it to the highest floor, where your dad and Mr. Anderson were supposed to be, heart racing, begging and bargaining to the universe, or whatever God there was, or somebody, to ensure that they were okay. That they were just fine.

There are some days where you wish you hadn’t opened that door.

The pair of them, alongside a third medic in the room, were found by you in a shape similar to Marlene. Naturally, you ran to dad first, small, shaky hands reaching out to flip over his face down body.

But you were too late.

Your mind goes blurry whenever it goes back to recall the memory. You don’t remember much: Tears, nausea, shaking, panic. You remember screaming, loudly, at that.

And you remember passing out, before being pulled out of the room.

The second that Jerry Anderson was announced dead, all hell broke loose, and you knew, you knew, it was over. The chance that had been driving you and your family of Fireflies for the last year, was gone, and it wasn’t coming back. Unless a brand new surgeon was going to generously drop from the sky, you were hopeless. 

And it wasn’t even just that.

Because the universe had taken from you the one person you held closest to your heart. To your soul.

Dad.

You had a chance. You all did. 

And, then, it was robbed away from you.

You and your dying group made your way back to Boston knowing just that: That you were collapsing. The days passed by in blurs, each one gloomier than the last. You just weren’t sure what to do anymore. All hope for a cure was gone. All hope for yourself was gone.

In 2036, the Fireflies were disbanded by what little members of it were around to do so, and that was it. It was over. 

Your home was paradise, and paradise was gone.

You didn’t know what to do. Most of the family you had found here in the Fireflies was leaving, searching for a life away from the one you all had known for years. You didn’t know if you wanted to do the same. Part of you wanted to follow suit and leave Boston. Renew who you were. Adapt, and move on. But Boston had always been home, and by leaving it, you were leaving a part of you behind.

But you didn’t have a choice.

It was an early morning in 2036 when you began to pack your bags, readying to go. Where? It didn’t matter. All you knew was that home or not, Boston carried way too many painful memories, way more than you could bear. Marlene was dead. Mr. Anderson was dead. Dad was gone.

You didn’t see what else Boston had to give, that it hadn’t already taken away.

But just, just, when you were about to say your goodbyes, the universe, who had screwed you over in the past, clearly had different plans.

A few members had heard word, from previous members who had left the Fireflies before you, that on the west coast of the country, there was a chance: A chance to find home again, in a place named Catalina Island, a gorgeous land in California.

Risks had failed you before, and so had second chances. But, for once, you wanted to give in. You had to.

So you did.

That’s not to say that the second you got to Catalina Island, finding home once again in your fellow Fireflies, who were just as shattered as you were, that your tale was over. God, it was really, really far from it.

Because there was one more piece to the puzzle.

Abigail Anderson.

Anderson. The last name rang a bell once it escaped her lips. A blonde woman, body bruised, bloodied, and covered from the arms down in oozing gashes. Her hair was short and poorly cut, and from the way her bones were pushing into her skin, you could tell that she was severely malnourished.

Alongside her was a boy, obviously younger than her. Tousled black hair, bruises wherever you looked, and fully unconscious. In your time at Catalina Island, and as a Firefly in Boston, for that matter, you had never seen any pair of people in worse shape.

Not unless they were dead.

You remained head medic once you arrived in Catalina Island, naturally, and you had been managing that way for the last four years. So, when this woman showed up, this young boy by her side, like this, it was you who took control. It was you who nursed them, and it was you who made their scars, in a physical and mental sense, not disappear, but easier to handle. To bear.

By looking at them, by looking at her, it was like a mirror. You saw you.

Which is why you saw her.

Now, if someone had told you four years prior that this is where you would be today, losing your dad, losing Marlene, and losing Mr. Anderson, but falling for his child, you would’ve looked for a bite mark. But now, come the year 2040, where you had made a new life, one that Abigail Anderson was a prevalent part of, happiness no longer seemed impossible.

Because it wasn’t far away anymore, slipping from your fingers, the way it had on numerous occasions. 

It was in your hands.

And you were in Abby’s.

Your eyes were being covered by Abby’s large hands as she led you to a place unknown. You had to assume it was one of the several beaches on the island, sand under your feet, sounds of waves in your ears. A smile had been plastered across your face for what seemed like hours, as Abby dragged you along.

“Come on, Abby. Are you going to tell me what this is about or what?” you asked her for the second time in the last minute. You could hear her low chuckle from behind you, and the way it always happens, comfort surges into your veins.

You had learned from Abby, once you bonded over the mutual loss of your dad and hers at the same man, that once Mr. Anderson had been killed, her and her friends, a few former members of the Fireflies, joined a group named the WLF. You had hence learned that during her time there, she was commonly known as a rugged, scary person, who a lot of people in the WLF didn’t dare insult, nor disobey.

And you couldn’t lie: It was hard to believe that for a second.

You had learned from Abby, also, that her resolve began to slip when she met the young boy who she had made it to Catalina Island alongside, who you had also taken care of: Lev. To put it simply, Lev was a member of a different group, that the WLF was never supposed to come across.

Not unless it was in war.

But he changed her. He did. Some days, you could see how guarded Abby was, how she couldn’t help going back to all she used to know, which was being all but barbaric when she was in Seattle. Closed off, wary. But most days, like today? You knew in your heart, that deep down in hers, Abby Anderson was good. Not innocent, but good.

And that was enough for you.

“Just come on!” Abby chuckled as she walked, not letting up her hold on your eyes for a second as she led you along.

You smiled, shaking your head in mock disapproval. “I have work to do back at the center, and we’re not supposed to be roaming around like this. You know that, right?”

“Babe,” Abby responded in an almost firm tone of voice as her feet quit moving, forcing you to root your body to the spot. It was silent, before she pressed a series of sweet, sloppy kisses to your neck and cheeks, managing to keep her hand over your eyes all the while. She had you crumbling just like that, making you a giggling mess as her lips met your skin.

Her kisses subsided once a million of them seeped into you, and it wasn’t the island heat that had your face warm when Abby was done. “Can you just trust me, please?” she laughed, and you didn’t need your vision to know she was giving you that puppy dog look that had you falling to your knees every time. The one that you couldn’t resist if you gave it your all.

You were too easy. “Yes.”

It wasn’t long before you and Abby reached where she wanted to bring you, and once you did, she paused. She was perched behind you now, large hands over your face, the solacing sound of her sighs coming into your ears. “Okay. Are you ready, my love?”

There wouldn't ever be a day where Abby calling you that wouldn’t make your heart pound in your chest.

“More than,” you easily respond.

As soon as you said it, Abby returned your vision to you, and your eyes can’t help but widen at what you see before you.

Because you never pegged “rugged” Abby Anderson as one for picnics.

“Oh, my God, Abby,” you said more to yourself than the blonde as you slowly approached the scene. Laid out on the sand of the beach was a picnic blanket, a folded blanket, a few pillows, a basket, a few books, and playing cards.

Accompanied by a perfect view of the beach.

“Do you not like it?” Abby asked, and there’s an air of sadness to the way she says it. You turn to look at her on cue, your face one of complete, utter disbelief.

Like it?

“Like it? Baby, I love this. More than know,” you respond, meaning every word. It’s been a long time since someone has wanted to care for you. A long, long time, since you had been the receiver, not the giver.

“Abs, it’s perfect. You’re perfect.”

You can see Abby blushing as you approach her and take her face into your hands, her freckled skin burning in heat. She leans into your touch, pressing her forehead onto yours, and holding your hands in her own.

“I just,” Abby sighed, opening her eyes once more to meet yours, solemn expression across her cheeks. “I just don’t feel like I cherish you enough, babe, show it, that is. Because believe me, I do cherish you. S’just, it’s been hard for me to show you how much. All that you did for me and Lev when we got to the island. Taking care of us. Helping us find a home here. I’ll spend the rest of my life saying thank you for it.”

You can feel your soul healing the more Abby speaks.

“I know this isn’t nearly enough to make up for what you did for us, and I wish it was. But I just figured, maybe. . .it could suffice for now.”

“Abby, baby,” you let a small laugh escape your lips as you say it. “You don’t have to make it up to me. At all. I did what I did, because I saw someone in you. I remember asking for your name, and you responded by asking me where Lev was. You didn’t even care what shape you were in. All you wanted to know was if he was okay. You reminded me of me.”

“You reminded me of dad.”

You couldn’t help but sigh, letting silence seep into the air around you as your brain battled to process what you had just said. You didn’t speak on your dad as much as you likely should: Abby knew that, and so did you. Talking about him made your chest compress, and your throat would fail you, making it feel as if you were choking. As if you were helpless. As if you were there all over again. But Abby knew as well as you did, that when your dad came into discussion, it was for a certain reason. 

And for that reason, Abby didn’t speak: She hung fire. For you. For you.

“We live in a world where people combat their own morals just to survive. There’s no good guys. No principles, no rules, no laws. Anyone you come across is just as bad as you, and if not, they’re worse. But when I saw you? I knew. I knew that wasn’t you. Not anymore.”

You know you’re rambling by now, saying whatever comes to mind as soon as it does, but you can’t find it in you to care as you go on. “You want to believe I don’t know how much you care for me. But you don’t need to show it, Abby. I know you do. Right here.”

You take one of Abby’s large hands into yours, and as cliché as it is, not that you care at all, you place it over your heart.

“You feel that, don’t you? That’s all for you, baby. And it’s there that I feel how much you care about me. It’s there that I know.”

The same silence that was here before comes back. But this time, it’s not sad, or dark, or eerie. It’s solacing. It’s warm. It’s home.

And Abby doesn’t need words in order to respond.

It’s her turn to take your face into her hands as she pulls you in close. Her lips meet yours like they have so many times before, her familiar scent hitting your nose as you settle your hands onto her hips. The kiss is slow, and sweet, but passionate, and a burning desire surges inside you to never let her go, to always hold her close. To always call her yours.

You pull back from the kiss once you tire from it, gasping, Abby’s body mimicking yours as she does the same. You gaze into her eyes, the pretty blue ones that always make your heart swell, smiling up at her as you press one last kiss to her lips for good measure. “I adore you, Abby Anderson. You know that, right?” you grin.

It’s the first time you ever hear her giggle. “Me more than you, gorgeous.”

You spend hours there alongside Abby, and it’s the best time of your life. You spend time indulging in a few snacks the blonde packed for you, playing cards, and running around and playing in the sand, smiling all the way. You even get to hear Abby read to you, one of the most endearing things in the world, accompanied by the calming sound of the ocean before you. And when it came time for sunset, you sat down beside Abby, gazing on as amber, ochre, and rose faded into night.

It was perfect.

When it was nearly time for the evening to come to an end, you used the second blanket Abby had packed for your shared night to cuddle up beside her, heads rested on the pillows she had carried along as well. The side of your face was pressed into her chest as you gazed into the sky above you, Abby’s hand rubbing your back in slow circles to console you. Small suns coat the evening sky like sweet, powdered sugar, accompanied by a full moon that looks incredible over the horizon. All you could hear was the sound of the ocean, alongside Abby sighing gingerly every once in a while, or her pressing kisses to your forehead.

Not that you needed much more than that.

Suddenly, the sound of Abby chuckling in your ears snaps you out of your head, and you turn your face upwards curiously. Abby’s smile makes you smile, and it’s no surprise you began to wonder what the blonde woman found so funny all of a sudden.

“Remember how I told you Lev and I had to cross those bridges that were really high up?” Abby asked, and you had to raise an eyebrow, wondering where this was going. “Mhm,” you mumble, which is when Abby goes on.

“Well, before that, we had to get there by foot once we got out of the aquarium I told you about, the one I used to go to all of the time. That part of Seattle is overrun in rushing rapids, so a lot of the buildings around there were a lot more demolished than they usually would be anywhere else,” she explained.

“And, well. . .”

“We walked into this building, and there was a painting of these dogs playing cards. And I asked Lev if he knew our dogs could really play cards like that. Then he asked me if anyone found me funny,” Abby laughed. “It cracks me up whenever I remember it.”

She wasn’t the only one laughing. “Sounds like Lev. And like you,” you smile, and the tale makes you recall a humorous memory of your own. “Once, I was working late at the medical center back in Boston. I was doing research on this girl who had been feeling sick, but I wasn’t sure by what. Mind you, it’s late, and silent, if you don’t count me flipping the pages in my books.”

You giggle just remembering it. “It’s the weirdest thing ever, but my dad was really good at making Clicker noises. Like, really good. Sounded so real it made your heart drop. I was reading when I heard it, and I remember wondering how the hell infected had gotten inside. ‘Course I grab what was closest to me, a scalpel, and I swivel around.”

“And it’s dad.”

That one got Abby to burst out chuckling. “Oh, my God. Of all the things you could get, gorgeous. A scalpel?”

You rolled your eyes in response, playfully so. “What can I say? I’m just a medic. I didn’t carry a gun.”

Once Abby’s done laughing, which seems to take forever, she smiles down at you, pressing one more kiss to your forehead as if to make up for poking fun at you. You cuddle closer into her, letting your body relax in her embrace as a sigh escapes your lips.

You fall back into silence soon enough, eyes glued to the sky as Abby rubs her hand over your back, holding you like you would fade away if she let you go. You run your fingers through her short hair as you press kisses to her neck, jaw, and face, giving her all the love you know she deserves. Your eyes scan her features like she was molded by some higher power, and you can’t help but want to worship her, endlessly.

Not just for what she looks like. But for who she is.

“My baby. It’s like you were made for me, you know?” you whisper in Abby’s ear as your eyes pierce into her blue ones. But Abby’s head shook quickly.

You can predict what she’s going to say in response. “No, gorgeous.”

“It’s you who was made for me.”

—

reblogs are very much welcomed! <3

—

#abby anderson #abby anderson x reader #abby anderson imagines #abby anderson tlou2 #abby anderson tlou #abby anderson x you #tlou abby x reader #abby x reader #tlou abby #abby tlou #abby the last of us #the last of us #abby anderson smut #the last of us smut #tlou2 smut #the last of us part two #the last of us 2 #tlou2 #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us fic

[seinahirai]

『 You Like It When I Ride It 』(Bada Lee x Reader)

summary: you have a wet dream and wake up to find yourself accidentally grinding against your girlfriend’s thigh. good thing she doesn’t mind, though.

word count: 1.1k

contents: smut, somnophilia, dom!bada, sub!reader, thigh riding, praising, slight degradation, porn without plot, slight fluff at the end, no use of “y/n”

authors note: this is the first time i’m posting one of my works publicly since like 2020, please be kind! this wasn’t supposed to be my first post, but the bada writing community has been a little dry lately so i wanted to help a bit. (also, i quite literally acted out these positions with my pillow to make sure i describe them correctly 😭 enjoy)

you woke up late at night to a wet feeling in between your legs. you were cuddled up on top of bada, your head laying on her chest. your legs were parted, your right leg resting next to hers while the other was spread over bada’s waist.

you only realize the position you’re in when you feel a firm feeling pressing on your clit through your thin pajama pants.

you suck in a breath, looking down at your bottom half, and just like you assumed, you had been grinding against bada’s knee in your sleep.

you try to think for a second, wondering what could have happened in your sleep to prompt you to start grinding on your girlfriend’s knee, but your thoughts are cut short when bada begins to shift around in her sleep, her knee briefly brushing against your clit once more, and you let out a moan mixed with shock and pleasure.

that’s when you realize, you’re dripping wet.

the thin material of your shorts have done nothing to prevent your wetness from soaking through and onto bada’s sweatpants.

you try to look up at bada, but you are unable to due to the hand she has on your head, holding you in place firmly, even in her sleep.

“fuck.” you breath out, gulping as you lightly tap your girlfriend’s side.

“baby?” you call out softly, your voice just above a whisper. all you could hear was steady breathing in response.

you were about to call to her a little louder, when you feel her stir a bit more, her knee pushing up a little higher and rubbing on your clit a little rougher.

“fuck,” you curse, whining softly as you instinctively grind against bada’s knee, riding it as gently as you could as to not wake your sleeping girlfriend.

you continue to rock your hips back and forth, spreading your arousal across bada’s knee.

with your head still faced down, you could narrowly make out the stain you had left on her sweatpants, which only turned you on as much as it embarrassed you.

you kept your pace steady for a while, letting out small whimpers and moans. you try to keep the noise to a minimum, but as your orgasm began approaching, you couldn’t help but grind faster and harder, your volume increasing.

only then did your girlfriend start to wake up, the arm she had around your waist moving slightly. you immediately halted your movements, looking up at her without moving your head.

“mmh, baby…” bada groaned, slowly becoming more and more aware of the situation.

“baby?” she muttered again, a little louder and less hazy. you slowly look up at her, seeing her initial look of confusion turn into a smug smirk.

“yeah?” you whisper, voice a bit shaky.

“are you using my knee to get off?” she asked slowly, a hint of cockiness shining through her groggy, tired voice.

“…yeah.”

you stay silent after that, your breathing unsteady. you can just barely make out the smirk on her face growing wider through the darkness.

“well, why'd you stop?” she pouts, slowly propping herself up on her elbows to get a better look of your messy state.

“you feel so good against me,” she says, her hand moving down to your ass. you breathe in sharply, shaky and unstable.

“i didn’t…want to wake you.”

“nonsense, babe. in fact, if i could wake up everyday to my beautiful, sexy girlfriend fucking herself on me, i’d be the happiest woman alive.”

you blush at her words, which have seem to gone straight to your pussy since you feel more of your arousal pool at bada’s knee.

she seems to have felt it too, because she brings a hand to your hips, pushing down a bit as a gesture for you to keep going.

“go on, baby. i wanna see you ride my thigh.”

you swallow hard, nodding softly as you push yourself up onto your knees, adjusting your legs so that bada’s thigh was between your legs, just barely pressing against your sensitive pussy.

bada rests herself against the pillows propped up against the bed frame, her eyes dark and full of lust and desire as she watches your every move.

you begin riding bada’s thigh, too focused on the pleasure to care about how loud you were being — not that bada minded.

as you continue grinding your clit against bada’s thigh, your whimpers turning into desperate moans and your hips beginning to stutter as you get the familiar feeling of your orgasm approaching for the second time tonight.

“that’s right, sweet girl, just a little more for me. you’re doing so good, baby. using my thigh so well…” she says, rubbing your back in encouragement.

bada licks her lips as her eyes scan through your body, watching as your tits bounce through the thin material of your tank top, one of the straps trailing off your shoulder.

“you’re so fucking sexy, baby.”

her praises only make you even more desperate to cum as you whine pathetically, the movement of your hips becoming sloppier.

“poor baby, needed to get yourself off, so you started fucking yourself on my thigh. it’s okay though, i love feeling your pretty little pussy grinding on me like a little slut.”

that was all it took you.

you let out stuttered moans and gasps, high pitched and breathless. you stop your movements, the pleasure of your orgasm getting too overwhelming.

suddenly, bada places her hands on your hips, encouraging you to continue your grinding on her thigh.

“come on baby, ride it out for me.”

you whine loudly, but obey nonetheless as you continue to ride her thigh through your orgasm, your moans loud and pornographic.

you bring a hand to bada’s shoulder for support as your orgasm rides out, holding on to her tightly as she brings your other hand into hers and coaxes you through the aftershocks.

once your breathing was back to normal and you stopped shaking, you relaxed, sighing softly in contentment as you snuggle closer to her chest.

bada holds you close to her, kissing your forehead as she giggles softly.

“so pretty, baby~” she coos, cupping your cheeks and pressing kisses all over your face, causing you to giggle as well.

“I love you, my sweet girl.”

“I love you more, baby.”

bada smiles and presses one final kiss to your lips before pulling your head to her chest, gently running her fingers through your hair.

“you tired, baby?” bada asks, caressing your cheek.

“no, not anymore.” you reply absentmindedly, enjoying the warmth of your girlfriend.

“good, because watching you ride me has got me pretty worked up. round 2 in the shower?”

#bada lee x reader #bada lee smut #swf2 x reader #bada x reader #bada imagine #bada lee swf #seina swan !

[two-white-butterflies]

to keep me warm | m33

Description: After disappearing from public view - you return beside the man that's stood by you.

Pairing: max verstappen/singer!reader

(TURKS AND CAICOS, 2020)

"Dear." Max called out to you with a bottle of wine in his right hand. It was your anniversary. "I'm here!" you replied from the kitchen, slowly wiping the remnants of butter and dough on your apron. "What are you baking?" he leaned on the counter - placing the bottle there.

You opened one of the drawers, handing him the tool that would unscrew the wine. "Chocolate cake - your favorite." you smiled. Despite being a full-grown adult, his tastes were only limited to what kids like. "Nice, I can't wait." he opened the wine.

"Our anniversary and a brand new song. We deserve to get drunk tonight." he reached for the wine-glass, filling it halfway. "Sure, Maxim." your smile deepened, mixing the batter with love as the main ingredient.

Y/N L/N Was Terrified to Return Back in the Spotlight (Extended)

Interviewer: A lot of your fans thought that the hiatus was gonna be permanent. Did you read the tweets or was it?

Y/N L/N: No. It was full on, block everything about me on the internet. I did have a private account but all the tags about me were blocked out because I didn't wanna deal with me.

Interviewer: The allegations were quite rough. Did that take a blow on your mental health?

Y/N L/N: Yes, actually - I went to therapy for a few months. I moved to Morocco and I met a wonderful man - and we both lived somewhere remote and nice.

Interviewer: A man? Who is he? Someone we might know?

Y/N L/N: [chuckles] You've watched him before. He's lovely - European and competitive. He's the subject of my song. Well - one of the subjects.

Interviewer: Can I get another hint?

Y/N L/N: You've interviewed his teammate before.

Interviewer: He works in sports! So NFL, Soccer? You know what I don't want to ask too much questions - your publicist scares me.

"My baby's fit like a daydream, walking with his head down - I'm the one he's walking to." Max couldn't help but hum the tune of your song while walking through the Austrian GP tracks. "What are you singing?" one of the camera-mans that were following him asked.

He froze in his tracks.

"Is this live?" he removed his headphones, knowing that your song was yet to be released. "Yeah, anything wrong?" the man turned off his camera and he could feel the hot heat rising.

"Nah, we're fine mate." he lied.

maxverstappen1: My girl 💪🏽 #YNWorld

712 comments 723,821 likes

YNSTAN: I told ya'll first 😎

ynworld: nice pic - maxverstappen1: 🤣

maxielstan: Max Rizzstappen

ynworld: #1 Racer

0 comments 1,283,208 likes

comments have been restricted.

#max verstappen #max verstappen fic #max verstappen x you #max verstappen x female reader #f1 fics #f1 #f1 imagine #max verstappen x reader #f1 smut #f1 fanfic

[star-sim]

sweater ☆ riki nishimura

☆ non-idol! bf! riki x fem! reader ☆ summary: when riki doesn't recognize a sweater that you're wearing, he gets insecure. ☆ genre: fluff, hurt-comfort ☆ warning(s)? insecurities and cheating briefly mentioned ☆ word count: 1.0k ☆ reblogs and comments are appreciated! also this was such a big trend in 2020 in the haikyuu fandom my god

“What the fuck, dude?!”

You head whipped around to see your boyfriend frowning on your bed.

It was another one of those nights.

Riki and you would stay together all night, either to study or just fool around. It was deeper into the night now. You had just gotten out of the shower, changing into one of your dad’s oversized sweaters that miscellaneously made its way into your laundry. You liked the way that it fit, draping over you comfortably.

You were peacefully doing your skincare routine when Riki’s outburst interrupted you.

With half-applied moisturizer, you cocked a brow at him, looking at your boyfriend over you shouldes.

“What happened?”

The wide scowl that broke out on Riki’s features was alarming. His brows knitted together and his lips curled. Riki let out an offended scoff, throwing his phone aside and jumping to his feet. He paced toward you with vigor, grabbing onto your shoulders.

“You know what you did, and you’re just going to act like you did nothing–?”

“What the fuck are you talking about, Riki?” You clutched boyfriend’s shoulders, slowly pushing him away.

He didn’t move. His large hands squeezed your shoulders, his face contorting. Anyone would think that Riki’s face was painted with anger, but you knew better.

He was confused.

And distraught.

Riki sunk his teeth into his bottom lip, fingers brushing against the hem of your sweater.

For him, the issue was your sweater.

He’d never seen it before. 

These days, Riki was feeling insecure.

All throughout high school, you were endlessly popular. Riki would be lying if he said he never felt a tad insecure. There were so many guys that still pined after you. So many guys that were ten times smarter than him. So many guys that were endlessly kinder than him. So many guys that had perfect temperaments and maturity. After all, why would you, the prettiest, smartest, strongest, and most perfect girl in the entire world, want to stay with someone as crass and needy as him?

Sometimes, words got to him. Those that knew about your relationship talked. And they never seemed to fully approve of the two of you being together.

She deserves better, was always the first thing that came out of their mouths.

And sometimes Riki agreed.

The thought of someone else holding you, someone touching you and kissing your lips, someone getting to gaze into your eyes and whisper those three words from their heart to you made Riki feel sick to his stomach. 

But he couldn’t help but feel inferior. Maybe someone else would be better for you.

So when he saw you wearing a sweater that he didn��t recognize, Riki’s insecurities got the best of him. You didn’t wear sweaters often, and if you did, it was always his. His sweaters were distinctly too big for you, always being oversized.

Which was why Riki’s mind ran wild.

Where did you get that oversized sweater if it wasn’t Riki’s?

And more importantly, who did it belong to?

“I know I’m not good enough for you,” Riki grumbled, “But you could’ve told me before you went off with another guy.”

“Wait, what?”

Riki looked down. If he looked you in the eye, he’d probably start crying. 

He didn’t respond.

“Riki, what are you talking about?” Your hand gently came up to grasp his cheek, which he pulled away from. “‘Went off with another guy’? What are you even saying?”

When he finally looked at you, you saw the hot tears that were lining his eyes. He pushed your hand away, quickly wiping his eyes.

You pushed him onto the bed, sinking down onto his lap. You caressed his cheek. 

“I’m not going to leave you, Baby,” you said. “I mean, there’s no one that I could ever like as much as you.”

You brought your fingers up to his eyes, gently pressing his eyes shut. Then, you leaned in to kiss his eyelids, then his temples. With your fist, you softly knocked on his head. “I always wonder what’s going on in that head of yours.”

Riki didn’t say anything. Instead, he melted into your touch, sliding his arm around your torso, pulling you closer to him. 

“I love you, Riki, I hope you know that” you said into his ear. “So I don’t want you to cry anymore.”

“I wasn’t crying,” Riki mumbled against your shoulder.

“Sure, Baby,” you patted the back of his head. 

After a few moments of silence, you asked, “What made you think that I would leave you?”

“Your sweater. I hate it.”

You cocked a brow. “Why?”

“Looks like some other dude’s.”

You shared another silence.

You let out a small, ‘ah.’ Getting off of Riki’s lap, you fingered the hem of your sweater. Riki watched you as you disappeared into your closet, before reappearing with another sweater. Making sure that he was watching you, you began to pull the polyester fabric over your shoulders.

“Wh-What are you doing?!” Riki rushed to cover his eyes.

“Relax, you big baby.” 

Riki hid behind his hands, watching from the cracks in his fingers. Pulling off the sweater that you were currently wearing, you shrugged on another sweater.

It had blue and black stripes, reaching down to the middle of your thighs.

This time, Riki recognized it. It was his.

“There,” you gave him a boxy smile. “Even though that sweater was my dad’s, if you don’t like it, I won’t wear it.”

Riki’s jaw dropped, before waving his hands out in front of him. “Nonono!” he spluttered. “I was being stupid. You can wear whatever you want!”

You put your finger on your chin. “Hmmm, but I think I like your sweaters more.”

Years into the future, you never let Riki live down the fact that he got jealous over a sweater. Riki didn’t care, though. The only memory attached to that little incident worth living for was when you kissed him and said, “I love you.”

#enhypen #enhypen imagines #enhypen x reader #enhypen fluff #enhypen niki #nishimura riki #riki fluff #niki fluff #niki x reader #star-sim #vanya-writes

[venussaidso]

Mercury Dominant Themes — 𝐍𝐚𝐤𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐫𝐚 𝐎𝐛𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐒𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟖

It seems to be a theme in Revati where all the wealth that has been accumulated from the Uttara Bhadrapada stage is easily accessed, but the native must be deemed worthy or in alignment with this sacred wealth and very often they are (but they gotta prove it usually). Profound, universal secrets are quietly recovered in Revati where elevating/ascension is easily achieved (whether through wealth status, spirituality, surpassing mental limitations etc).

The 12H activates so perfectly in Revati by draining everything away to remind us of those secrets so that we 'wake up' again.

I'm going to use monetary wealth and inheritance for my observation, not spiritual, so bare with me.

Revati reminds us of the duality of privilege and hardship, which is either emphasized in this nakshatra or tends to be taken for granted (how such 12H harsh lessons will come in).

We can see how Revati is the 'nepo baby' nakshatra, but there's more to it if we extend this theme a bit more.

Revati being extremely wealthy while also being a nakshatra about humanity & community further validates it being a universal sign (Pisces).

We can look at the story; The Prince & the Pauper written by Mark Twain who is Revati Moon.

The story is about two boys, the prince and the pauper, who switch places and briefly experience each other's lives. The prince experiences the struggle of a commoner's life, and the pauper gets a taste of the responsibilities of the royal life. This makes them have a deeper understanding and even empathy for each other and others alike. Revati emphasizes the shared humanity of all of us, and that's why this nakshatra tends to use their wealth to give back to communities; going into foreign lands to help others that cannot be helped. This proves them being worthy of their wealth, which is now something that can be maintained and even elevated.

Gaining inheritance but only through challenging conditions is something that I associate with Revati. This falls into them proving themselves worthy of the given wealth or learning to put their ego down to be properly nourished.

The film The Bachelor (1999) is about a man, who is fearful of commitment, is made aware that the only way to inherit his grandfather's wealth is by finding himself a bride. The guy is literally commitment-phobic, but he must change his ways. He is played by a Revati Moon.

It's very interesting that films regarding family monetary/asset inheritance have (Mercurial) nakshatras which trine Revati. For example, the film The Descendants (2011) has a plot where the main character is considering on selling a pristine piece of land that has been passed down throughout generations in his family. The director of this film is a Jyestha Moon.

Or the film Inheritance (2020) stars an Ashlesha Moon who plays a character whose father dies, unfairly leaving her with a small inheritance of $1m compared to her brother - played by a possible Ashlesha Moon - who received $20m.

Unfortunately, she also inherits a lifetime of deception and deadly truths that her father left her to deal with. So, we can see how this trope looks on the flipped side where inheritance can be a curse. Mercury nakshatras are the last to deal with the (family) baggage that tend to be passed on from their family, and they're usually the ones to put an end to curses or cycles. Mercury nakshatras, in the general, are the last stage where all matters from the Jupiter/Saturn nakshatras are dealt with & released. In the film, the deceased father is interestingly played by a Vishakha Sun, Purva Bhadrapada Moon.

Actually, circling back to the film The Bachelor (1999), the deceased grandfather who's willing to pass his wealth to his Revati Moon grandson is actually played by a Pushya Moon, Punarvasu Ascendant. I find that Saturn nakshatras can make things challenging for Mercurial nakshatras, not wanting to let them off too easy. Giving them challenging conditions regarding inheritance. Sometimes, Jupiter/Saturn nakshatras can play a role in which they take advantage of vulnerable, Mercury nakshatra natives.

This is seen in the film Rain Man, which was literally directed by Revati Sun AND Jyestha Moon, Barry Levinson.

The film is about two brothers who reunite after the death of their father. The greedy, selfish brother played by a Pushya/or Punarvasu Moon who realizes that his father left his entire estate to his autistic savant brother who is played by an Ashlesha Sun. The Pushya/or Punarvasu Moon brother kidnaps the Ashlesha in hopes to get him to share his inheritance with him.

Now, very interesting how Mercury nakshatras can be born into wealth but it can all be drained away from recklessness, arrogance, or for a lesson for the natives. Going bankrupt, being dethroned etc. can be Revati/12H themes that make us go boundless, by taking everything away which we held onto most of our lives. It makes sense why the 12H is said to be co-ruled by Ketu. Nakshatras trining Revati can also have these themes extended to them.

The film 'Material Girls' is about two heiresses to a multi-million-dollar company who approach life very recklessly and arrogantly. One day a scandal they get involved in causes the downfall of their family reputation and they shift into a life of being penniless and homeless.

The film stars Jyestha Moon, Hilary Duff, and her sister, Haylie Duff, who has her Mars&Venus in Revati. And the movie is literally directed by Revati Moon, Martha Coolidge.

Another movie to mention is the very first Thor (2011) movie, in which the main character - an arrogant, reckless royal prince - is stripped of his powers and banished from his home. He lands on Earth, powerless and ordinary, where he learns humility and what it truly means to be a hero before reclaiming his status. The main character is played by Ashlesha Sun Chris Hemsworth, and the movie is directed by Jyestha Sun Kenneth Branagh. LMAOOO I MISTAKENLY WROTE JYESTHA MOON IN THE PIC

Now, onto Disney Princesses.

What do these three movies have in common? There's a commonality in their respective storylines. Rapunzel, Princess Aurora, and Princess Anastasia all have a period in the plots where they are not aware of their royal lineage or rightful place on the throne. It becomes a central narrative to move the stories towards these characters finally remembering who they are. 12H themes are at work again here, as 12H will strip you of your identity and create even more confusion of the Self. The 12H is also about remembering who you are again, being reminded of where you belong. These characters are so incredibly Piscean/12th house in nature that of course they can only be voiced by Revati natives!

Tangled (2010) — Mandy Moore voicing Rapunzel

Sleeping Beauty (1959) — Mary Costa as Aurora

Anastasia (1997) — Meg Ryan as Anastasia

Live-action version of Princess Aurora has been played by Elle Fanning; very fittingly lmao.

There's a Barbie Rapunzel movie and Rapunzel was interestingly voiced by a dominant Revati stellium.

And Rapunzel in the Shrek version was voiced by someone with two Ashlesha placements (I know, not the best example but having two repeated nakshatras make them dominant imo).

As I've mentioned, nakshatras that have the same nakshatra lord can share the same themes because they trine as a result, so they're closely connected. But Revati is the face of this post, just btw.

From what I gathered, Revati teaches humility, empathy and compassion. Revati is a nakshatra that sees humanity in all, and this trope is well embodied in the Prince and the Pauper story. Revati teaches us how class and wealth creates illusions of separation, and so the 12H takes that thing you believe 'separates' you from others so that you are reminded of the truth. Reminded, is the key word, because the truth has already been realized Uttarabhadrapada, where self-liberation and abundance is achieved. In Revati, you forget the truth that freed you in Uttarabhadrapada. So, Ketu will remind you (Pisces/12H co-ruled by Ketu) and it will hurt (the process of remembering hurts, but the aftermath is so freeing). But things can go the Disney Princess way, where you have to find your way back to yourSELF. This is how we see Revati natives losing themselves, especially in love, just to forget to remember (which is the whole point of life/humanity... EXACTLY WHY REVATI IS A UNIVERSAL NAKSHATRA).

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