#The angel-like being also having gone through that is interesting again in its potential implications and ramifications. The very concept

[jacksintention]

Automaton angel

#WHAT A CONCEPT #The imagery is soooo good #Anyway I caved. I've read the chapter without further context. I couldn't help it I loved the concepts it played with #Very Rufus the thing the guy with the brooch did at first. The panel of the archivist girl was so Lacie I could have kicked the wall #The play on the significance of names and existence and the role one plays in the world/notions of self I loved as well #And that is so 👀 when later on it's mentioned off-hand that... Olivier is actually named Romeo? Have I understood that well? #It was so cute that little throwback with him and Roland as kids. And that he knew of Astolfo meeting a friend but didn't tell due to that #And wow there was rape everywhere in this chapter? I didn't know Astolfo had been raped. I had heard about his... mother? sister? #But not him. I mean‚ maybe they were victims of sex-rape‚ but the talk about several vampires biting him and drinking his blood #and how the mark never leaves and how dirty and maimed in ever sense he feels sure seems to imply that at least metaphorically #The angel-like being also having gone through that is interesting again in its potential implications and ramifications. The very concept #Anyway... That pretty guy telling Astolfo that he knows what he's going through and recommending him to kill himself #because life is hell from that moment on... Wow he was so real and seemed so... sincere? But who knows. He sure is alive #That + the angel-like figure's words make it so intriguing given his position as chasseur? paladin? whatever the name was #Anyway I loved that he said that in any case #I liked Olivier on the verge of getting violent with the guy who was being a dick too I can't help it. Leave the kid alone #I'm rambling but yeah I loved the concept around this angel-like being both aesthetically and narratively for what we got #I talk too much #I should probably delete this later

[my-personal-multiverse]

Since I have decided that this is now a Buffy blog I'm going to put thoughts I've had over the past few months on here. It's all stuff I either wrote when talking to friends or arguing on the subreddit. First have some vampire lore and philosophy thoughts.

"I think the statement of "the person a vampire was is completely gone replaced by a Demon who wears their body" doesn't really hold up with anything we see on the show. Although it's probably good to believe that as a vampire slayer because otherwise most of what Buffy does would be in a morally gray area. I also personally believe that the watchers council deliberately gives watchers and slayers that wrong information (the dialog that says so in the beginning is mostly Buffy and Giles I think. Vampires aren't framing their own experience that way) so that they don't think about the potential moral implications of, for example, killing a vamp that was just turned and hasn't killed anyone yet. The way it makes sense to me is that two things happen when you get turned 1. You loose your soul 2. Some demonic energy/presence/thing enters you and becomes a part of your body through the demonic blood. Loosing the soul I see as essentially loosing an inherent sense of Morality and guilt and loosing (most) empathy. Neither of those makes you inherently evil and there's also the philosophical question of if you can even be inherently evil or if evil is something that you have to do. But you are obviously very likely to end up doing evil things to get what you want if you don't see hurting people as wrong and can't empathize with anyone. And without a sense of Morality you won't want to do anything good unless it also serves you and you will go after more simple pleasures without a care for anyone. But not feeling empathy or having morals doesn't mean you don't have emotions yourself. You will still feel good or bad and you can still fall in love. We don't seem to question that vampires can feel hate and anger without a soul and love is essentially just another emotion. Of course there's the question of how love expresses itself if you can't empathize with who you love. If you try to cheer them up when they are sad it can't be because you feel their pain... Do you look at them more like you'd look at a broken toy that can't give you what you want anymore and try to cheer them up because of that. Is that love or just an intense desire to be with someone because of how they make you feel. Does it matter as long as you are doing the right thing? Do I need to feel someone's pain to want them to be happy? I think there's a lot of interesting questions there but just saying no soul = no love is a bit too reductive for me. (I also personally feel like soulless spike does feel some empathy for people he loves just not for anyone else but that's debatable). For the second thing I think the demonic energy/thing/whatever is what keeps their bodies going, gives them the bloodlust / need for blood to survive and the problems with the sun and all that other fun vampire stuff. But I don't think it is a different entity/identity with a personality of their own taking over and replacing the person. The reason why vampires go evil even if the person they are wasn't before is just that the loss of the soul (Morality/guilt/empathy) coupled with the new bloodlust and being hard to kill by humans thus not having to fear consequences will lead them to murder pretty quickly. But what we see of people before and after they were turned it's always the same people just without a moral compass now going after whatever they want without a care. And one thing they want now is blood but they also still have the desires they did before. Their desires and personality and memories and such is the same. I think that that mind/spirit/whatever is what makes someone who they are. I think that another being with all my memories, wants, feelings and needs would be me. But I know that philosophically you could make an argument that loosing your sense of right and wrong and empathy is enough of a difference to make you a different person. I'd personally say they are a different person in the same way that I'm a different person to who I was five years ago. The person I was then is gone not because some other entity took over my body but because I changed. And being turned is a pretty big change to go through. Even humans sometimes change from one day to the next for example when they go through trauma but you wouldn't necessarily say that they died and some other person took over. In some ways who I was 5 years ago is dead and that person will never be around again. But that's not how we frame things for humans because we have a continuous sense of self and vampires on Buffy have that too. But I'm going to try to get away from the purely philosophical arguments and into the actual show canon. First of all there is the situation where a different demonic presence actually does take over someone's body, retains memories but completely eviscerates the person and becomes a completely new character... on angel with illyria. And it's very obviously a completely different situation to what we see happen with vampires. She might know who Fred was but she has different wants and a different personality and acts according to that. With vampires that's not what happens. Spike is the most obvious example. The first thing he does after being turned is try to save his mother. He cared for her before and he still does. And if he was just a Demon in a William suit he would have no reason to even call her his mother. Turning her is not a moral choice ( I don't think turning someone into a vampire can be unless they ask for it because if they don't you are essentially making choices about their body without their consent) and it's not (necessarily) because of empathy. It's just that his mother was someone he always liked to be around and he wants to keep her around.  and spike was always motivated by his romantic obsessions and that informed everything he did after being turned too. Then we have dru who was driven mad pre being turned and stays mad as a vampire. And we have Darla who on angel when she gets brought back as a human with a soul doesn't act like "I finally have my body back" or "what happened, I was dead and have no memory of it". She's like "I was a vampire, that was me, I did that" and she doesn't just have a soul. She's a human with a soul again. But as a character she's a continuation of Darla the vampire. And we have dark willow and vampire willow both using the same phrase ("bored now") which to me shows that regardless of how willow turns evil its a continuation of her character and vamp willow isn't just a random Demon that looks like willow. In the same episode we also have angel basically saying the same thing. When Buffy tries to console willow by saying that a vampires personality is not related to the person they were Angel starts saying "well actually..." then seems to realize correcting her wouldn't help the situation and switches to "good point". And then obviously we have Harmony. Who is most obviously the same person, who still has a lot of the same wants that are not related to being a vampire ( status, money, a comfortable life, a boyfriend) and who stops drinking human blood ( in season 5 of angel) not because she had a problem with killing humans but just because it didn't serve her and it was easier for her to live the life she wanted while playing by the rules. She's clearly soulless but is probably the most interesting example if you want to argue about inherent evil vs. evil actions and "does it matter why someone is doing the right thing?". The one that feels like an outlier is angel but I think even he makes sense. If you look at Liam and Angelus I do see a continuation of character. He wanted to have fun, he already didn't really care much for others and I would argue based on what he does once he looses his empathy he probably already had some desire to hurt others. He just wouldn't have ever actually acted on it when he had his soul. Being turned unleashed the worst parts of him, living out dark desires he otherwise probably would have taken to his grave and the reason he changes so drastically as a character once he gets his soul back is because of the immense guilt of knowing that everything he did was exactly what he wanted. And with a conscience he doesn't want to want those things and won't indulge in those desires to torture and harm. Because all vampires kill and don't feel bad about causing harm to get what they want but Angelus does take things a step further and I think that's based in his own desires. ( A human moral equivalent for me would be the difference between hunting animals to eat and torturing puppies for fun ) And knowing where those desires can lead him makes him work on distancing himself as much as possible from who he was once he gets his soul back which is how he becomes such a different person.

#buffy #Buffy the vampire slayer #buffy summers #spike #angelus #drusilla #darla #harmony #illyria #vampires #buffy lore #btvs

[plethoraurora]

“lie to me” and morality in btvs

today on help! i wrote an essay in the discord chat. since i happen to do that a lot i figured i’d dump them onto my blog for posterity, and so i don’t have to dig through archives/search to find them if i wanna express those points again.

so without further ado, please have a very stream-of-consciousness response to a conversation the buffyverse discord had about “lie to me” and its relevance to the series, specifically in terms of overarching themes and morality. this is entirely unedited and solely the result of my absolutely unhinged brain being allowed to run free:

prelude

re: the convo we were having about "lie to me": not to mention, the implications of buffy's conversation with giles in regard to the idea of moral ambiguity. which really hasn't been a conversation piece at all up to this point: it has been exactly that -- we know the enemies, we know the good guys, and that line is cleanly drawn. this totally foreshadows SO many things that will unfold through the rest of the series

pt. 1

obviously, angel losing his soul and reverting to angelus which is nearing in, at that point -- the ambiguity of one's personhood, the idea of the soul as the physical guiding force for morality, and the lack of it. what separates angel from angelus -- what separates the actions he committed as angelus from his ensouled state? what makes up his personhood?

pt. 2

then there's faith, who comes up next, chronologically -- she's buffy's foil in so many ways i don't even know where to begin -- but especially in her views of morality and what's "right" -- you can see that in her understanding of buffy's morality (ex. "because it's wrong"), and her actions throughout season 3 -- from her recklessness from the time she's introduced through her betrayal and incarceration/redemption, she walks a very thin, undefined line, between the inherent "good" of the nature of being a slayer, and "bad" of her own nature/nurture, and personal view of herself.

through her stint as buffy, we see that she feels the need to view herself as "bad", to demonize her actions, in direct contrast to buffy's "goodness" -- she sees them as complete opposites, polar extremes of a spectrum of morality -- when they're both closer to the middle. and that's something that will be explored when faith returns to sunnydale in s7, changed immensely by her self-imposed penance in prison, as well as buffy's own actions after her resurrection -- completely changed in her own demeanor through the effects of her feeling a disconnect from humanity and pursuing a self-harming relationship with spike -- who's been seen as "bad" this entire time.

the dynamic between faith and buffy is also explored in the context of the conflict regarding who the potentials want to lead them, and choosing faith -- while faith's changed her tune to do more good, buffy's gone from more the more optimistic of the two, to almost on par with faith's pessimism -- she sees the harsh reality of the past seven years clearly, and while her morals haven't changed -- how she sees them has -- buffy's always seen herself as inherent good, and faith as bad -- just as faith sees them -- when they meet again in s7, they both recognize they're neither.

pt. 3

and then we have willow -- who i think is the clearest example of this dichotomy -- just look at the change in her demeanor from season 1 to season 7. like buffy, she starts out optimistic to a fault -- they'll always win. and when they don't -- it affects her. willow isn't on the same moral high ground that early season buffy puts herself on -- but she is highly logical. she's book smart, studious, applies herself, and is generally just insanely intelligent. but as she starts to get into magic -- that logistics-focused approach starts to crumble -- because magic isn't logical, is it? she can easily apply logics to the functions of magical objects and ingredients, but the how and why is much more spiritual, connected to emotions -- which is exactly what we get when she pursues higher levels of magic upon meeting tara.

her morals aren't as clearly defined on the spectrum as buffy or faith's, or as questioned as angel or spike's, and her change is much more gradual than incited by one event (e.g. buffy's death/resurrection, angel losing his soul, spike getting his soul, etc.). i find her more similar to faith in this way -- though like faith and buffy, they're less traveling the same path than meeting each other in the middle.

it would be easy to argue tara's death as the inciting event in what seems like a change in willow's morality -- but i think of it as inherently connected to her disposition and how she sees the world, which is a gradual change. i think, then, that losing tara is more of an expression of this change -- a display of massive proportions of just how much she's changed since the first season. and we love willow. she's portrayed as an insanely sympathetic character -- she's shy, awkward, and loved by all the other characters she's an invaluable member of the team, both with her book smarts and later, her magic.

i actually think willow's morals are the most stagnant out of nearly every character -- perhaps besides giles. i think she's very similar to giles in that regard -- we see a similar arc with them, and at the same time. they have a strong understanding that what's moral isn't always right, and what's right isn't always moral. strong examples being when giles kills ben, and when he comes back, prepared to stop willow even if it costs either or both of their lives.

what changes is the way she expresses them -- again, inherently connected to her understanding of the world, going from purely logic based to more focused on feelings and connection to the world/other people. we see this expressed both in her demeanor, the focus on her magic, and most importantly, her appearance -- in seasons 4 and 5, she seems to take on a lot of tara's style choices, all invoking very hippie-ish vibes: long skirts, earthy tones and patterns -- which i think shows a lot about how tara influences her both personally (in terms of figuring out her sexuality) and magically; as she takes on more of a quote unquote stereotypical witch persona, pretty reminiscent of lots of early 2000s weird/magical girl tropes.

sidebar

i think a lot about the weird girl trope in regards to her, too. especially in the way that other similarly themed characters of the era were treated, in the way of sexual autonomy and femininity, and desirability. she definitely falls into the basics of the trope -- unsexualized costume, with a more seemingly "modest" demeanor and appearance. most importantly, some way of defying the norm. which willow does ten-fold: she doesn't fall to social heirarchy/popularity like buffy and cordelia do, initially; she's actually very low on the social pedestal. she doesn't follow fashion trends, she wears what she wants, doesnt fall to peer pressure to do otherwise. and most importantly, her sexuality, which could be considered the ultimate derivation from the norm in terms of how her character archetype was presented as well as the climate of the time.

two things i find really interesting in terms of her diverting the trope, however, is 1) the fact that unlike most girls that fall under the "weird girl" designation, she doesn't profess to not care what people think -- and we see directly the opposite, getting into her head in "helpless". and 2) she isn't seen as undesirable by romantic/sexual interests -- infact, she's got two pretty strong love interests. normally the women under this trope aren't given love interests, or if they are, they're equally matched to them in terms of demeanor. this couldn't be more false for willow's love interests.

i think the order oz and tara are portrayed in regards to willow's arc is also really important there -- oz, when they first get together, is seemingly a much stronger mentally and emotionally person than her; more bold and concretely himself -- but this is all a facade, as he isn't nearly sure of his identity as he navigates what being a werewolf is.

likewise, when willow and tara first enter their relationship, tara seems to be the less headstrong and in control of the two -- completely reversed in late s5/early s6 when willow isn't in control of her magic.

anyways. just an interesting sidebar.

pt. 3 cont

the fundamental function of willow's brain is logic: but logic can't justify tara's death. she can't find warren's motivation; can't process it as an accident. she doesn't believe that getting revenge is the moral thing to do. but she does believe it's right -- to find balance, a life for a life -- the way she'd learned to balance equivalent exchanges in her magic.

#my post #btvs meta #my meta

[bluerosesburnblue]

Nothing upsets me more than a legitimately good story being ruined by “extra” content. I’ve already complained at length about Pokemon Ultra Sun and Ultra Moon’s story changes over the original games so now it’s The World Ends With You: Final Remix’s “A New Day’s” turn because CHRIST

I’m writing this as I come across points while watching a playthrough, so:

God, Coco is the single most insufferable being. “totez hilar” just dated this content so baaaad, and I’d even say it was dated language when Final Remix came out. No other character abuses modern slang as their entire character. Like, slang is used but not as a substitute for personality. Beat speaks in a very casual, urban style but it never ends up being detrimental to his character as a bit of a punk with a “perfect little sister” that he wasn’t as naturally smart as, so he just gave up on trying and ended up being a bit of an aggressive slacker. Heck, he tones it down a bit for emotional moments, too. Coco, though, comes across like her ultra-modern “cutesy” text message slang is supposed to be her personality, and even when it’s revealed that she’s the villain of the episode you just can’t take her seriously through the “like, ohmigosh, I can’t believe you’re ruining my plaaaaaans” bullshit. What does she have going for her if you rewrite all of her lines without that speaking style? She’s just a generic manipulative brat

Frankly I also just disagree with the entire premise of A New Day and the plot threads it sets up for a potential sequel, i.e. “having Neku and Beat run through a game again as a trap to get Neku into yet another game in a possible sequel.” TWEWY is a complete experience and had been for at least a decade. Literally every character had a complete arc. The worldbuilding was rich enough that they had more than enough to come up with a sequel set in the same world, but in an entirely different town with an entirely new cast and, heck, even entirely new rules for the Game that would’ve expanded upon the world of the games without taking away from the characters whose time in the Underground was already done

But, noooooooo, we’ve gotta bring Neku back. Can’t have a game without Neku they literally SAY THAT (”The Game, like, literally can’t go on without Neku.”). And let’s bring Minamimoto back, too, as a good guy! The fans loved him! This doesn’t come across as pandering at all!

Just... you have the girl with the red headphones designed! Make the sequel set in Shinjuku with her as the main character! (Hell, I don’t think I would have even minded Minamimoto coming back for that because there was enough leeway in the base TWEWY for him to have survived his encounter with Josh, just leave Neku out of it). This is the most infuriating part because it actually takes away from Neku’s story. The entire GAME was a test of character to see if even the worst, most closed off person could learn empathy and respect and Neku DID. And in return, that sparked a change in Josh. His story is done. Coco using Neku, though, has nothing to do with him as a character and everything to do with him being the face of the game and it shows

And why the hell is Neku so trusting of Coco anyway? I get that he opened up over the course of TWEWY, that was kind of the point. But you come back to life, everything’s fine, and then suddenly you’re in a death game again and so is one of your best friends, like, he should be WAY more concerned and suspicious. But one little Reaper gives him the sad eyes and he just caves instantly like “fine, come along.” Even when Neku grew to like some of the Reapers, like Uzuki and Kariya, it was still far more of a rival-like respect. He knew damn well that it was their job to see him gone and while he accepted their help when they gave it and helped them when their lives were in danger (possibly, up to player choice), they weren’t buddy-buddy with each other, knowing that as soon as the immediate danger to them had passed they’d be on opposite sides again. And these are the Reapers he’s closest to, even at the end of the game. And then all of a sudden Coco goes “but I’m a wittle wost baby weaper” and Neku’s response is, “well, shit, welcome to the team.” WHAT

I hate using the term “Mary Sue” but Coco is absolutely a Mary Sue in its original meaning. The plot bends over backwards to accommodate her at the expense of the main characters’ personalities or reason, all while giving her a clothing style incongruous with everyone else’s meant to stand out and make her look special and not having her face any repercussions for her actions (so far which is, again, another issue with the very premise of A New Day since that’s exactly how things will end off if TWEWY doesn’t get a sequel, the possibility of which is not a guarantee AT ALL)

Shiki and Rhyme start saying blatantly false things about themselves and handwaving it away with “ohhh, that must have been our new Entry Fee! Just the exact same ones as the first time again!” and only BEAT is suspicious and NEITHER OF THEM are suspicious of Coco, the only non-generic Reaper they’ve met so far. Christ, I appreciate Beat being attentive with matters of his sister because that’s in-character but NEKU was always the more paranoid AND observant one yet all he thinks about is “gee, I’m sure having weird visions today, huh?”

And then Coco starts BLATANTLY gaslighting them about Kariya and Uzuki’s personalities and they’re STILL not suspicious of her like ughhhhhhhhhhh. Nekuuuuuuu you LIVED THROUGH JOSH WEEK 2, you have BEEN IN A SITUATION where the mastermind partnered up with you to divert your suspicion and keep an eye on you how are you less suspicious of this brat than Beat is???

And why are none of the characters bringing up the fact that you have to be DEAD to be in the Game??? You all spent three weeks of hell to claw your way back to life, how are you not more upset about what seems like you all dying again, basically immediately after you just got brought back? And I know the Shiki and Rhyme in A New Day are illusions, but Neku and Beat AREN’T. Nobody even comments on the implication that they’re dead again and what that means!

I can’t believe they made new expressions for the fake Josh’s changed personality but still refuse to make anything for Shiki’s true appearance

Hell, there’s enough lore with Josh that you could make an entire prequel about him becoming the Composer instead of this mess and, you know, EXPAND on someone’s character and what led to him being so disillusioned with Shibuya as the Composer instead of employing the Happy Ending Rewrite on Neku and then gutting his personality to make Coco the focus. I’d LOVE a Josh prequel with competent writing. Kingdom Hearts made the Xehanort prequel and hooked me in a single chapter with expanded worldbuilding and interesting ties with Xehanort’s character to friends that humanize him, do the same for Yoshiya “Joshua” Kiryu!

Pfffffff hire me and let me make the dream TWEWY trilogy: Joshua prequel > TWEWY sans A New Day > sequel set in Shinjuku starring Red Headphones Girl with Occasional Josh and Hanekoma Interaction

It is so unnecessarily cruel to make Beat relive Rhyme’s erasure and subject Neku to believing that Shiki was erased as well, and yet they do NOTHING with it except have it be cheap tension for five minutes. The characters basically say “wow, I’m so sad!” and then IMMEDIATELY move on to “OMG is Neku seeing the fuuuuuture?” Your LITTLE SISTER and FIRST REAL FRIEND IN YEARS just seemingly died permanently! When Rhyme was erased the first time it took Neku one and a half in-game days to even talk about it because he was so upset, and from then on he was focused on avenging her/bringing her back. Shiki was his entry fee in Week 2 and that made him hyper paranoid the whole time! WHY ARE WE JUST GLOSSING OVER THIS especially since they made SUCH a big deal about how they just finally started believing that the fakes were real (after a whole TWO conversations)

And then at the end they say that they’re inside Coco’s Noise that is SO BIG that it has an ALTERNATE DIMENSION INSIDE IT and Hanekoma’s like “I’ve never met a Reaper POWERFUL enough to make a Noise like this. Wow, Coco, you’re so POWERFUL that even I, an Angel, am impressed!” This. Coming from the guy who specifically chose Minamimoto as his failsafe to kill the Composer should the Game go wrong because a Taboo Minamimoto, heavily refined using forbidden methods, would be strong enough to defeat THE COMPOSER. And he’s now going on about how Coco’s the strongest Reaper ever, basically admitting that she’s probably stronger than the Composer of Shibuya. SURE. BECAUSE COCO WASN’T BAD ENOUGH ALREADY SHE HAS TO BE THE STRONGEST REAPER EVER, TOO

And then it just ends with Josh and Hanekoma exposition dumping about how Shinjuku got erased as Noise entered the RG (WHAT?), Neku’s visions were probably caused by the red headphones girl who’s super special (who???), and Coco’s just so special powerful (why...), but it’s not their problem so fuck it. Oh, and also Josh doesn’t care about Neku anymore, despite that being the whole point of TWEWY. Yeah, the guy who flew off all upset when Hanekoma asked him if he wanted to hang out with his friends at the end of the game. Uh huh. Even if he’s lying, why even put that THERE instead of saving it for the sequel?

And then Coco just... revives Minamimoto. Even though, oh, right, the Taboo Refinery stuff was so precise that the only reason Minamimoto came back the first time was because Hanekoma, THE PRODUCER AND AN ANGEL, set it up for him. But I guess Coco’s just soooooo super powerful and knows FORBIDDEN HIGHER PLANE KNOWLEDGE and can just do whateeeeeever she wants. Not like Hanekoma was so paranoid about someone finding out what he did for Minamimoto that he went into hiding, certain that he’d be reported to the higher Angels and destroyed

A New Day is so painfully shallow from a writing experience. It’s a poor continuation off of the solid, complete TWEWY story experience that just doesn’t have a handle on Neku’s character, turning him into this bland vision machine with no emotional connection to anyone. The way that it expands the worldbuilding with “Inversion” does one thing that I HATE, which is taking an emotion-and-character driven story and turning it into a generic “end of the world” scenario, “raising the stakes” in a way that divorces it from what made it memorable in the first place. If Kitaniji directly effecting the RG during the main Game’s plot was the point where he crossed the line in-universe, then that loses its special nature and impact if you then go “oh, btw, Noise can destroy the RG city if you let them”

And then there’s the absolute black hole of a character that is Coco Atarashi. She wasn’t designed to fit into the world of the game, she was designed to stand out. On its own that’s not a bad thing, especially given the themes of the game that revolve around owning your true self and baring it to the world, but then you combine it with no personality beyond being a manipulative brat obsessed with the events of TWEWY, extremely lazy text message slang dressing up her dialogue to make it stand out, the way that Neku and Beat’s personalities change to accommodate her presence just to shoehorn her in and then have a cheap “omg she was bad” twist, and then dumping powers on par with Josh and Hanekoma on her and there is NO saving her character

The only good part of A New Day is “Wake Up.” And even then, there’s better TWEWY songs, I just like the vaguely Kingdom Hearts Dream Drop Distance vibes it has in parts

#the world ends with you #the world ends with you spoilers #liz's shenanigans #the playthrough i was watching to refresh myself on twewy's story hit a new day and my blood pressure spiked instantly #i have never lost interest in a sequel quite as fast as i did this #i just... how do you fuck up this bad???

[thisiswhatwereupagainst]

@shattered-catalyst asked me what underused female Marvel characters that I’d like to see in the RPC. I misread it as asking what underused female characters I would like to see in a canon Marvel story, and started making this list. Then I realized what they ACTUALLY asked me---and answered it HERE-- but since I had this list started I thought I would post it! As a note, I tried to overlook my own biases for whom *I* simply want to see back in action, versus if there’s actually story potential there that I think other fans would genuinely want to see. It’s also by no means complete/comprehensive, so if you think someone is missing and deserves to be on here---you’re probably right! Feel free to add to it! BLINDSPOT - Blindspot is a female member of Mystique’s Brotherhood who was friends with Rogue, and had the powers of memory manipulation. After several missions, Mystique decided to cut ties with her due to lack of trust. Blindspot left, but not without wiping herself out of Mystique and Rogue's memories first, as she always covered her tracks, which is why Rogue doesn’t remember her (actual reason is she was retconned in, she’s a 2000s creation) Years later, when Rogue had become an X-Men, they would come into conflict once more, as Blindspot wanted to ‘save” Rogue from Xavier’s “brainwashing”, but Rogue would still leave Blindspot with her X-uniform to remember her by. Blindspot is unique in having been a Brotherhood friend to Rogue, as she was never shown as close to any of the other members, and was also mysteriously immune to Rogue’s powers. I think Rogue fans might enjoy seeing her in a Rogue story again, and perhaps learning more about their time together. CATSEYE - I think ALL the Hellions were criminally underused, and I know from X-Men/comics discussion boards that there’s an audience for their return. Catseye seems to be the favorite in terms of who people found most interesting, and I agree. A girl who believes she’s a cat who can turn into a human form, rather than the reverse, is a really neat concept, not to mention Sharon had a charming personality with surprising depth for what little time she got. There’s a lot that could be done with her return, and I think she could totally be the lead in a revived Hellions story on Krakoa, or a story depicting their time as Frost’s students at the Massachusetts Academy. CORDELIA FROST - Look, everyone loves Emma Frost, I think it’d be easy to get people interested in a Cordelia story. Not to mention the fact that like...Adrienne is dead, Christian was institutionalized, but Cordelia has been running around this whole time. She seems to have had some big plans once upon a time, what happened to that? Nothing ever came of it. Why not? What’s she been up to all this time? Also, we should finally get to see what kind of powers she has! I’ve seen it quoted around the Internet that Emma claims Cordy is “the Professor Xavier of empaths” but I’ve not only never seen the source for where she says this, she’s never demonstrated ANY kind of powers in canon, besides Emma not being able to read her mind. I would like to see what the “subtle, dark, and devious” Frost baby gets up to! DARKSTAR - Darkstar is a mutant and she’s been present in the comics since 1976. She’s been a member of X-Corps, as well as served in the Champions with Angel and Iceman back in the day. Yet her loyalty (coughBRAINWASHINGcough) has always brought her back to serving Mother Russia first and foremost. We saw recently though that Russia has gone back to its “All mutants serve the State or die!” position, and not allowing its mutants to go to Krakoa. It’s pretty easy to work Darkstar into a story about that, and finally exploring the way she was deeply conditioned to the point her “choice” to serve her country is probably anything but, and coming to terms with that at last. I’d really like to see a story like this, because Darkstar is kind of unique in that her brainwashing wasn’t a dramatic trauma-conga full of torture and abuse, she actually seems to have been treated well, she was just also kidnapped as a baby and never knew anything else. I think it’s about time we get a story that shows abuse doesn’t always “look like abuse” and how denial of someone’s agency can run so deep that their own choices that they THINK they’re making of their own free will, really are products of that. Also, her story could be an easy way to get my STARLIGHT fix, and FANTASMA on top of that. Remember, Fantasma was banished to Limbo, and pulled Starlight in after her. Why WOULDN’T Darkstar want to go rescue her teammate? And there’s a member of the X-Men who is mistress of Limbo and can open portals there, it’s totally easy! Darkstar enlists Magik (who has a huge fan following, and thus would get people interested) to guide her through Limbo so they can find Starlight and bring her home, but on the way they run afoul of Fantasma! Who, being a Dire Wraith sorceress, makes a great foe for Magik! PHANTAZIA - During 1990s, Toad struck out on his own and formed his own Brotherhood, which consisted of several old faces---Pyro, Blob, and Sauron (despite Sauron not being a mutant)---and a new one, the woman known as Phantazia, aka Eileen Harsaw. Phantazia had the power to manipulate electromagnetic energy fields. This allowed her to fly, disrupt machinery, and  disrupt the bioelectric energy fields and nervous systems of other living beings as well, resulting in pain, paralysis, loss of physical coordination, and in the case of superhumans, the inability to control their powers, causing them to fluctuate in strength, cease functioning altogether, or spew out uncontrollably. Not much is known about her personality, but she seems to have been well-educated, as Blob refers to her as “Ms. PhD” and tended to stay out of the arguments between her male teammates, ignoring them while she read books on scientific subjects, such as astrophysics. . She also displayed loyalty, such as when she also opted to stay with her teammates when only she among them was invited to Magneto’s new mutant sanctuary of Avalon. Alas, Eileen met a wicked fate---for some reason, she was one of the few mutants to retain their memories of the “House of M” reality shift, and the shifting back and forth drove her insane. She was last seen in a S.H.I.E.L.D. custody cell, babbling “House of M” over and over. I think Eileen was interesting. She had a cool powerset, hints of a personality, and was never much of a “bad guy” certainly not enough to deserve what happened to her. Female Brotherhood members are also pretty rare, so she catches my eye for that too. I like to think Xavier found her and fixed her mind, and she’s going to hang out with her old pals Pyro, Blob, and Toad on Krakoa. HAVEN - I’ve been yelling about her on this blog for like 5 years, but if you’re not familiar with her, Radha Dastoor aka Haven was a villain who ran a cult dedicated to bringing about the end of the world as we know it in order to usher in a golden age of peace. She only did this, however, because she was being possessed by a demon. Her real self was a kind, charitable woman who was just all about feeding the hungry, caring for the sick, and, as it happens, advocating for mutants. Though it had little to do with her villainy, Haven still found time to be a demon-posessed super-terrorist AND write books promoting mutant/human peace and give lectures condemning bigotry. She seems like someone who SHOULD have gotten saved from said demon, but no, she dies alone in the mud after being victim-blamed by a Marvel deity. Her entire arc is really misogynistic, she’s only possessed because she had sex once and then got pregnant, she’s basically punished for breaking the purity taboos of her culture once, and it’s also pretty...racist isn’t the right word, but she’s the first Indian and Hindu character in the X-Men comics, and a lot of her terrorist philosophy fed to her by the demon comes from actual Hinduism, which has unfortunate implications, as does the fact that the “brown woman with a funny religion ended up being a terrorist just like the government said so X-Factor attacking her before they were sure of this is okay” was part of her story. Eesh. Anyway, she was a very good person and an interesting character, I think bringing her back as someone trying to do good in the world again as a human ally to mutants while also dealing with what happened to her and what she did and her loss of 20 years of agency to possession, would be a good story. I at least want to see a cameo of her taking care of a bunch of orphan and refugee kids who are a mix of mutants, Inhumans, Warpies, aliens, and humans. LORELEI - Lorelei is another little-known woman from the Brotherhood of Mutants, and unique in that she’s NOT a mutant. At one point, Magneto used a machine to mutate members of the native tribes in the Savage Land, giving them super-powers. These Savage Land Mutates served him in their homeland, fighting the X-Men at his command, but he left them behind when he returned back to the rest of the world...all save Lorelei, who he took with him for his new Brotherhood, citing a possible “Pygmalion complex” for why. Lorelei was a beautiful blonde woman who could control men with her voice. However, she seems to have a childlike intellect, as she speaks very simply and in the third person, and doesn’t really seem aware of what she’s doing or why she’s being told by Magneto to do it. It’s a really worrying dynamic, and I also worry about Lorelei once Magneto just...kinda ditched her, I guess, and left her with Unus, Blob, and the Vanisher. Then she turns up back in the Savage Land serving yet another bad guy. Lorelei--or Lani Ubanu, as seems to be her name before Magneto transformed her--comes off as an unaware innocent that just gets constantly picked up and used by greater villains because she doesn’t know any better, and given that this is because of the powers Magneto gave her, I’d like to see that come back and have him take responsibility for her. And if she’s NOT as unaware and innocent as she seems, I’d like to see that, because she’s been around since 1969 and she doesn’t have a personality and she barely speaks! Flesh this girl out! MADELYNE PRYOR - I feel like this one is cheating a bit, because I’m not sure I’d say Maddy is under-used. She’s seen more action just this decade than all the others on this list saw in their entire careers COMBINED. It’s more than she’s just...not used well, in my opinion. 2000s writers generally seem to forget that her stint as the Goblyn Queen came from being infected by demonic energy and also insane (for VERY understandable reasons), and seem to think she’s just evil on her own. Not to mention they take all the depth out of her; she’s a character with a full personality of her own and some very fucked up struggles that she was not to blame for, but that all gets boiled down to “Scott’s sexy evil ex who is mad he left her so now she trounces around in skimpy clothes she never actually wore when she wasn’t possessed because EVIL LADIES ARE SEXY CUZ FEMALE SEXUALITY IS EVIL” and it’s just....u g h. When Maddy was herself, she actually was very heroic, to the point she sacrificed her life to save the world (her FIRST death, which everyone forgets). But she also has good reason to be really angry and bitter at the X-Men, and I don’t see her letting go of that even when she’s back in her right mind. So I think depicting her as an anti-hero, who saves innocent people yet works against the X-Men, would be a neat story, with the ultimate conclusion being her letting go of her grudge, not for THEIR sake but for HERS, to not have her be tethered to them any longer, not even by hate, and finally live a life that is HERS. MISS SINISTER - So, Miss Sinister is NOT Nathaniel Essex in a lady suit. She’s actually an entirely different person, and actually has a very sympathetic situation. She’s a woman named Claudine Renko, whom Mr. Sinister injected with a virus containing his own DNA. The idea was that in the event of his death, the virus would activate in her or one of his other test subjects, transforming them into Sinister complete with his consciousness replacing their own. But when it activated in Claudine after Sinister’s apparent (but in fact only temporary) death in the “Messiah Complex” story, Claudine did not become possessed by Mr. Sinister nor become him---not exactly. She became essentially a female clone of him, gaining aspects of his appearance (such as the chalk white skin) as well as his telepathic powers. He might also be how she got her wicked personality, but since we don’t know anything about her prior to this, that could just be how she was already. But she also suffered invasive memories of Essex's life, and that as a malignant presence within her mind, he was slowly killing her as a means of self-resurrection. He even managed to manifest briefly before being re-absorbed back into her. It was for this reason that she wanted to switch bodies with X-23, thus gaining Laura's healing factor, something she had wanted after her stabbing, and thereby freeing herself of Essex. The plan backfired when Essex took control of Laura's body and used her to mortally wound Claudine. Laura managed to overcome Essex's presence in her mind, expelling it through force of will. She was next seen working with Emma Frost on using The Mothervine, though Emma ended up turning on her. I remember feeling bad for Claudine when I read her story with X-23. Having someone else trying to take over your body is a pretty good motive for doing something as evil as trying to steal someone else’s, while also being inexcusable to do. It’s unlikely she was a willing subject for Sinister, so she probably isn’t to blame for what happened to her, but is to blame for her actions after, which is the kind of villain I like. Also, while she’s usually in lingerie ala a Black Queen of the Hellfire Club, she wore a really cute little normal outfit in a story with Sebastian Shaw and Daken...which ironically is when she actually was Black Queen! I’d like to see more of Claudine, and find out more about her story and who she was before all this, and whether or not she’s REALLY free of Sinister, as she seems to be now. After all...is anyone ever free of him? Bonus if she teams up with Madelyne Pryor! NOCTURNE - No not TJ Wagner, THIS LADY! I don’t think anyone (except me) is hoping for her return, as I don’t think anyone else really knows about her, but Spider-Man stuff is still popular so there’s no reason she couldn’t come back and have a prominent role in that. I really hope they go with the interpretation that she’s gay, since now is a time that they can actually have that open instead of coded, but more than just the representation of a gay WOC (which is awesome) I really am interested in her adjustment and journey into her new identity, and in particular her communication via empathy powers rather than speech. That really intrigues me about her. I think she could become very compelling and popular if brought back and handled well, perhaps in a story that brings back other neglected characters in the Spider franchise as well. SAT-YR-9 - Okay, so in the Captain Britain/Excalibur comics of the 80s, there was a woman named Courtney Ross. She was a banker and Captain Britain’s ex, and she became a side character, having adventures with the team and even besting none other than ARCADE through STAND UP COMEDY. Then one night, a version of her from another universe emerged in apartment, killed her, and took her place. This evil counterpart was Sat-Yr-9, who had been a cruel dictator in homeworld, and has been running around doing evil in 616 since while masquerading as Courtney. Captain Britain discovered the ruse and vowed revenge...but has yet to really do anything, probably because Sat-Yr-9 herself really hasn’t done anything since either. She popped up for a brief moment in the 2000s as the new White Queen of the Hellfire Club, but that’s it. I would like to see more of her, in that role or outside it. Given her connection to both the Hellfire Club and to Kitty (whom she was grooming under the guise of “Courtney Ross” and seemed to have big plans for, as well as some mysterious connection to that was never explained) I think she’d be great for the Marauders series. Or in the new “Excalibur” series that stars Psylocke as the new Captain Britain! I also think there would be interest in a story that finally resolves her murder of Courtney and shows Brian finally at least TRYING to make her pay, I still see it talked about on Marvel boards how unsatisfying and frustrating it is that Brian vowed revenge DECADES ago and has yet to do anything about it, and how much of a waste that makes Courtney’s death (Courtney was surprisingly popular with fans even to this day due to how she handled Arcade, it instantly endeared them to her...and then that’s RIGHT when she got killed off, literally the evening after) Maybe Betsy is the one who finally gets her at last! THRENODY - I think that Threnody’s coming back in the recent Deadpool series revived enough interest to justify bring her back yet again, and I think her baby being killed, however monstrous it was, means that fans are probably ready to see her get a happy ending for once. I know I sure am. ZALADANE - Zaladane was a personal villain to Polaris, and given that Polaris has never really had a book that was about her (as far as I know, I’m far from a Lorna expert) I think bringing her back as the bad guy for a Lorna solo series would be cool. I also would like it resolved if she’s Lorna’s sister or not. It seems to add up at the time it was written, but changes to Lorna’s backstory continuity since make it impossible. I think that a suitably comic-booky explanation could work for that, such as “she *is* Lorna’s sister but from another dimension, not 616, and also that explains how/why she’s in the Savage Land” or something like that. Plus it satisfies both the people who think she is and who think she isn’t.

#xmen #x men #x-men #marvel #marvel women

[hnrywinchester]

Fare Thee Well - - 18

Summary: She hasn’t seen Gabriel since he died nine years ago, then a phone call changes everything.

Pairing: Gabriel x OFC

Series Warnings: ANGST, smut, swearing, PTSD Gabriel, character deaths, canon compliant

Beta’d by: @aquietuniverse

Words: 6k

Here’s the Ao3 link because I don’t know what tumblr is doing with formatting now... it looks fine when I’m editing and all my page breaks are gone after. 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16429499/chapters/38468501

When Gabriel and Liv reached the camp, Jack was still nowhere to be found. Neither was Lucifer. Gabriel’s jaw tightened as he scanned the area for them, his annoyance at Liv’s urging to the young, very impressionable Nephilim resurfacing. How could she have been so stupid? Did she not understand the implications of those two teaming up? He wanted to walk off and say not his circus, not his monkeys, but maybe this was somewhat his issue. She’d made it his issue. “Hey, did you find him?” Sam asked, Dean and Mary following close behind. “Uh, yeah,” Gabriel admitted, his face falling, “then we lost him again.” “Shocker…” Dean grumbled, rolling his eyes. The annoyance now was only growing at Dean’s reaction. He’d always treated Gabriel like a burden, a fuck up, like everything he did was wrong. He wanted to go home, to get away from his family, the Winchesters, this miserable, dying universe. It was wearing on him, every nerve fraying with each passing second. “So, new plan,” Dean barked, causing Gabriel’s nostrils to flare, “We have a few more people we’re bringing across. We’re gonna go get ‘em a little ways down the road at the main camp and then caravan back to the rift somehow.” “How many?” Liv chimed in. “We got about twenty five more.” “Wait.. what?” Gabriel snapped, pulling himself completely from Liv’s grasp, “Oh no. I didn’t sign up for this. It was get mom, get the kid, go home. That was it. Done deal.” “Mom won’t come without everyone else,” Sam confessed, his face falling. “Well that’s her issue then. We offered.” “We aren’t leaving without her,” Dean growled, his face hardening as he looked at the archangel. “I am. Bye.” “Gabe, wait,” Liv sounded, grabbing his bicep before he could take a step. “No! I’m going home. We are going home.” “I’m gonna help.” Always the martyr. Why was she always so incapable of leaving those three idiots to sweep up their own messes was beyond him. Didn’t she want to go home? They’d literally just spent the twenty minute walk back to the group fantasizing about what was to come in just a few short hours, now here she was offering up both of their lives, again. This shouldn’t matter to her, it never should have. “Liv, this isn’t our mess,” he pleaded, pulling gently on her grip, his voice filled with desperation. “We came here to help, and I’m seeing it through,” she committed, heavy with guilt. “You aren’t even supposed to be here.” “Well, I am now. And I’m staying ‘til it’s done. Are you staying with me?” Gabriel pursed his lips as he averted his gaze. She knew exactly how to play her chips, of course he wasn’t going to leave without her and she knew it. Was everything they’d been planning just a ruse? At this point, he wasn’t really sure they’d ever leave this life of hers, no matter how many times she said she wanted to. “Yeah,” he sighed, “don’t have a choice, now do I?” Rougher than he intended, he ripped his arm free of her grip and stalked off. There was another mess of hers needing his attention. Liv watched him as he left, his posture stiff, and she knew he was angry. Rightfully so, she knew she’d forced his hand, but the thought of leaving Castiel and the Winchesters in their hour of need again just wasn’t going to weigh on her conscience well. Neither was Gabriel being upset with her. This was an impossible situation —one she wasn’t going to win. “Cas, hey. Any update on Jack?” Sam asked, Liv’s heart jumping at the sight of her friend. “He’s back, “ Castiel replied, his voice less than thrilled. “Great. Where is he?” “He’s with Lucifer.” Castiel’s face turned desperate while Liv tried to mask the blame threatening to bloom across her features. “Gabriel is… keeping an eye,” Castiel continued, “Liv can I… can I talk to you?” “Sure, Cas,” she replied, nervous. Did he know? Did Gabriel tell him this was all her doing? That she’d encouraged Jack to talk to his father? She couldn’t bear the thought of Castiel being upset with her, especially not with Gabriel already less than thrilled. “I need your help,” he pressed, pulling her away from the group lightly by her arm, “Heaven is dying.” “And what exactly does that have to do with me?” she inquired, face twisting in confusion. “We need Gabriel.” Her heart fell into her stomach. This explained everything. He had to leave again. Just another disaster pulling them apart. “What do you mean you need Gabriel?” she snapped, harsher than she intended. “He’s the only one who can save it. We need an archangel,” Castiel divulged, “We need him to make more angels. There aren’t enough of us to keep heaven powered. Soon it will shut down, and all of its souls will be forced to Earth. Billions of them.” There was no argument outside of her own selfish desires that she could think of. Her gaze fell away from the trench-coated angel, dejected, tears brimming over. This explained everything. Why he was in such a rush to get home, to get time. He had none. Once they returned, it was back to separation and pain. Again, her naivety had won out, thinking they could have the life they so desperately wanted. Neither one of them would ever be free of what they truly were. Soldiers, pawns, pieces of a puzzle much larger than the both of them. “He won’t go,” Castiel blurted out, Liv’s heart skipping a beat as her eyes snapped back to him, “He won’t leave you.” The revelation caused her mouth to hang agape. The world was potentially in the balance, and he’d chosen her. Cas needed her to convince him to go, but what if she didn’t want him to? At what point did she say, fuck the world, I’m done? How much more could the universe possibly take from her? Just when she thought she’d given everything, it came knocking for something else. How were some given the world and others expected to sacrifice every glimmer of hope they’d ever been taunted with? “I won’t do it,” she fumed, not even needing Castiel to make his request, “I won’t convince him. We’ve given enough.” “I know you have,” he sympathized, “I wouldn’t ask, if there were any other way.” “I can’t, Cas. You understand, right? I can’t watch him walk away again. I can’t, I’m sorry.” “Liv… please. It wouldn’t be forever. He’s safe in heaven-“ “I said no.” The pair stood in awkward silence. Castiel knew he’d met another dead end, she wouldn’t budge. Neither would Gabriel. Liv needed to see him. She didn’t care that he was angry with her, even in his irritation he’d settle the war between what was right and wrong raging on in her head. She knew that he was needed, sending him would be what was right, but she needed him just as much. Her self-interest was wrong, but clearly he wanted this as much as she did. He didn’t want to leave, he didn’t want the responsibility. He wanted peace. Without another word, she walked off, hoping she was heading in the right direction. She had not a clue where Gabriel was spying on his brother and nephew, but she’d find him. Being alone with her thoughts was dangerous; things tended to skew and over-exaggerate when her emotions were so unchecked. Gabriel was angry with her, Castiel now too, Sam and Dean had thrown triple the amount of weight on everyone’s shoulders and now the guilt of keeping Gabriel both here in Apocaland and away from a dire task all swirled in her brain, and the basin was overflowing. She’d wandered off without even noticing where she was heading, but a familiar mess of dark blonde hair caught her eye, Gabriel. He didn’t notice her, his attention still focused on the two people twenty feet away, sitting shoulder to shoulder as they chatted. “What’re you doing?” Liv asked despite already knowing the answer, approaching him slowly. “Watching Jack,” he responded flatly, not even turning his attention to her. “Why?” “Making sure Lucifer doesn’t win him over.” “Seriously?” “That is a duo we do not want even considering pairing up. Obviously you don’t understand the severity of the situation.” “Are you still mad about that?” Why she was pressing each of his buttons, she wasn’t sure. It was almost as if she wanted him angry with her, that somehow coping with these added burdens was easier if he wanted nothing to do with her. Which of course was the opposite of the truth and what she wanted. “You have no idea what you could have potentially put into motion,” he scolded, his soft tone poking at the anxiety-induced bear waking in her head. “Well it was true,” she spat, one half of her head chastising the other for allowing the words to come out in that tone. “Not really!” “Yes really! You were the trickster, half the hunters on the damn globe were looking for you. And I was fucking you!” “That’s different.” “How so?” “Because one, I’m not really the trickster. Two, the trickster and Satan, not even on the same level. And three, you’re a human. We can’t team up and level the world with a mere thought.” “We could make a Nephilim who could though.” “Irrelevant. I would never let that happen. My swimmers are locked deep, deep down never to see the light of day. Shooting blanks for eons over here, thank you very much.” She was losing this argument and she knew it. A normal person would have given in, apologized and went on with their day, but not her. She considered for a moment if he’d been anticipating this, it wasn’t his first rodeo with her and her skewed mindset, but he was also in his own mental turmoil. This was just a catalyst waiting to go off. “I believe in him,” Liv assured, crossing her arms over her chest. “Jack? Or Lucifer? It’s hard to tell at this point,” he criticized, finally turning his head to look at her. “Don’t be stupid.” “No. You don’t believe in him. You believe in the Winchester’s and Castiel’s influence on him. You think since they ‘raised’ him for a few months he’s gonna be some goody-two-shoes who does no wrong.” “Maybe so. Doesn’t change anything. I’d still tell him the same thing. “Yeah, well you better be right.” “What’s your problem?” “My problem?” His problem was being here. Her making him stay, forcing him by using her own safety and wellbeing as ransom. This place gave him the creeps, it wasn’t right. The sinking feeling in his chest grew deeper by the hour. Every minute left in this wasteland was one minute closer to a disaster he couldn’t foresee, but he knew was coming. “I don’t want to be here, Liv!” he fumed, “I want to go home. I’m so <i>over</i> putting my ass on the line for things that have little to no effect on me. We could walk back to that rift right now and go home. But no, you call the shots.” “You’re free to go,” she seethed. “Don’t. Don’t play these games with me right now. And stop acting like you want me to leave, or I will.” Her tongue caught in her mouth as tears fought to push through. Her eyes finally fell, it was time to accept defeat. “You’re the one who said you wanted out, but here you are dragging yourself, and me, back into every possible shitshow that offers itself up,” he continued, “You don’t wanna stop? Fine! I’ll drive around the country with you hunting every vampire and ghoul we can find ‘til you’re seventy! I don’t care. I just want to do it in our world.” “I do want out,” she maintained, voice meek and wary. “Then what’s the hold up?” “They’re my friends.” “Oh... sweetheart. They really aren’t. I’ll give you Cas, but Sam and Dean? No. They don’t give a shit about you or me.” “Cas told me about heaven.” “Did he now.” “Why won’t you go?” “Because you are my priority! You are! Not heaven, not the Winchesters, not even myself for fucks sake! Clearly, that’s a one way road though. Because here we are.” That did her in. Her bottom lip began to quiver as his words and gaze threw his unspoken blame at her. She felt small and insignificant under his scrutiny, but her decision remained the same. “I gave them my word,” she muttered, keeping her eyes on him although every instinct was screaming to look away. “So what?!” he yelled, “This isn’t about chivalry and bullshit egos! People are dying, Liv!” His raspy scream startled her. It was desperate and impatient, it was the sound of a man running out of options. He turned his back to her again, biting at his bottom lip to hold back his tongue. He wanted to scream again, try and scare some sense into her, but he knew it was useless. This was dangerous. They could die, or get stuck here. Lucifer’s word wasn’t worth a damn, he didn’t care if his brother had claimed the door would stay open for however many hours, he wasn’t buying it. “I’m sorry,” she lamented from behind him, and he could hear the difficulty of her decision in her voice, “I’m not… I’m not choosing them over you, over us. If that’s what you think…” “That’s what it feels like,” he admitted, dejected and broken. Unable to be in this conversation with a level head, Gabriel walked off. He could hear her sigh in frustration, well aware of the strain he was putting on her, but at the moment unable to fight past his own betrayed feelings to care. Expecting her to call out to him, her silence only stoked the fire. So she was just going to let him leave. Good to know. Between defending his brother, choosing to stay in this hellhole instead of going to start their lives together and now, getting nothing but a groan of irritation as he left, Gabriel was furious. He walked until silence overcame him, alone with his thoughts and anger, which was battle in and of itself. Liv dragged herself slowly back to the camp. There was no winning in this impossible situation. One way or the other, someone was going to end up angry with her. If she left, the Winchesters and Cas would be on the receiving end of her abandonment once again. If she stayed, Gabriel was going to be upset for being forced to stay with her. She understood his reasoning, but it didn’t change the fact that she had a responsibility to be here and help. “It’s time to go, where’s Gabe?” Dean barked as soon as she was within earshot. “I don’t know,” she mumbled, shaking her head. “What do you mean you don’t know? Aren’t you two attached at the hip? Literally…” “He walked off.” “Well get his ass back here.” Now she was regretting this decision. Home sounded like a substantially better option than being ordered around by Dean fucking Winchester. She trudged off to the opposite side of the decaying building she’d walked through with Lucifer only hours before, hoping that Gabriel would listen so they could get this over with. “Gabe, it’s time to go,” she sighed, not ready to face him, but he never came, “Gabriel?” “What’re you doing over here by yourself?” his voice rang out from behind her as he rounded the corner. “Calling for you.” “Oh… uh, angel radio is a little wonky. I can’t hear you. I found the group, Dean said it’s time to go.” Yeah, she was aware. He kept his distance, his hands in his pockets with his lips tucked up into each other. He looked better, normal, not so furious. She kept her eyes on him until his lifted to lock with hers, her gaze quickly averting in a poor attempt to prevent him from seeing her staring at him. “I love you, you know,” he called out, smirking, “even if you are a stubborn pain in the ass.” That wasn’t what she was expecting. Her heart jumped into her throat at his words, but she kept her eyes on the ground. “I realized that… I’m getting mad at the things I love about you,” he continued, chuckling lightly, “You’re hard headed. You keep your promises. You don’t give up on people, even when they deserve it. You’re everything I’m not. I’m with you, sweetheart, even though I don’t agree with it. I’m gonna fight your fight. But you gotta tell me why. Why does this matter so much?” “I have a lot of guilt, Gabe,” she confessed, and he nodded, he knew the feeling, “I left them, after you disappeared. I can’t do it again. Not now.”

“Okay.”

With her eyes locked on the ground, she didn’t see him approach, but when his arms slid around her waist she sighed in relief. She wrapped her arms around his, hugging him as she pressed her head into his shoulder. Resting his chin on the top of her head, he held her in a silent embrace. “Thank you,” she murmured against him, breathing deeply as a little relief washed over her. “Mhmm,” he hummed, and she knew he was still very apprehensive about the entire arrangement, “don’t make me regret it.” “Once we’re home, I’m all yours. Promise.” “I’ll hold you to that.” Shifting her head slightly, she leaned up to press a kiss to his throat. If she was committing herself to anyone for the rest of her life, she was thankful it was him. He tried. He always had. He took all of her blows with finesse and a patience she was almost certain was beyond a human’s capabilities. He didn’t move, waiting for her to pull away first was always how it worked, especially when she was upset. His stubble pressed into her forehead as she stayed nuzzled into his neck, for a moment they weren’t in an alternate universe with yet another insurmountable obstacle before them, they were just together. Knowing he was on her side made the mountain just a little less steep, but the she knew the hardest parts were still yet to come. “Come on, hop on,” he urged as she began to pull away, turning his back, “I like you all pressed up against me. Keeps me in the perfect state of hot and bothered.” “I think you’re supposed to be focusing,” she chided with a smirk, running her hands up his back and around the tops of his shoulders, “not getting hot and bothered” “I’m an exceptional multitasker.” Laughing, she jumped up onto his back, his arms linking under her knees as hers wrapped around his neck. She couldn’t deny she was happy to be hitching a ride for a little while, her trek through the forests with Lucifer had left her weary, and being curled up around him kept the bite of the cold at bay. Plus, the gentle brush of his hair against her cheek and sway of his bow legged walk calmed the storm raging in her mind. He was effortless, he was easy, and he reminded her that life wasn’t always a battle, sometimes it was okay to roll with the punches. As the group traveled down the paths leading to the base camp, Liv felt herself dozing off, her head lolling down onto Gabriel’s. Every time she did, she felt his grip against her thighs tighten, readying himself to support her should she fall limp and asleep. “You can sleep if you want,” he whispered, turning his cheek into her nose, “I got ya.” “Hmmm,” she whined against him, pecking her lips lightly to his cheekbone, “tempting.” “Someone needs to go ahead and scout!” Dean called from the front of the caravan, “Gabe? Cas?” “Or not,” Gabriel groaned, rolling his eyes. Gently, he placed her back on her feet, keeping a hand on her waist until she was steady. His eyes were intent on her, eyebrows furrowed in concern as she shook the half-asleep haze from her head. She linked her fingers with his against her hip, taking a deep breath in as she nodded, the cloud slowly dissipating. “I’ll be right back,” he bade, kissing her temple, “stay with… Sam and Dean, I guess.” The disdain in his voice made her laugh, his pursed lips and skeptical eyes only adding to the effect. He kissed her quickly, tapping her bottom once before walking off, a goodbye wasn’t necessary. He’d be right back. She watched him walk away, shoulder to shoulder with Cas, his blade at the ready. Her attention then turned to Jack and Lucifer as the group began following the angels down the path. Jack was still intently listening, and she could see the Winchesters growing more and more paranoid as the boy bonded with his father. As Gabriel and Cas walked on, he could feel the awkward silence that had settled between them. Castiel was no doubt still upset that Gabriel was refusing to help with heaven’s impotence, and Gabriel was a little peeved that he’d thought to get Liv involved. “Why’d you tell her?” Gabriel asked, keeping his tone level. “I was hoping she would talk some sense into you,” Castiel snapped back, side-eyeing his brother. “Leave her out of it.” “It’s her world that’s being threatened to go up in flames. A world she’s spent years trying to protect.” “Consider us retired.” “Is that you speaking, or her?” Gabriel swung around, pointing the tip of his blade into Castiel’s chest to stop him in his tracks, “Don’t you dare for one second think I force her into anything. Ever.” Castiel’s eyes softened, he knew that Gabriel had never been coercive towards her, if anything it was the other way around. He nodded, Gabriel pulling his blade away from him as he did. “You head back, I’m just gonna check around this corner,” Gabriel instructed, nodding his head to the heavily thicketed clearing to the left. Expecting to find nothing, Gabriel turned and wandered off around the corner. As he walked, he fantasized about what life would be in less than a day. Sunsets, margaritas and lazy mornings for the rest of their lives. He could practically smell the ocean breeze and see her perfect thighs peaking out from some skimpy summer dress he’d pick out and pray to his father she’d wear. She would, she wouldn’t admit it, but she liked them. A twig snapping turned his attention to the right, blade squaring up as he readied to fight, but the sight instead caused him to wrinkle his face in confusion. Six crows sat pecking at the ground, which was bizarre because he had yet to see one living creature besides the few surviving humans since he’d arrived. He sat and watched in awed reverence as they remained seemingly unaware of his presence only a few feet away, clearly very desensitized, as most were in this wasteland. He ignored the dread pouring into his thoughts, brushing it off as the effect of this world. When a louder snap echoed through the clearing, he didn’t even wait to see what it was. He could sense it. Them. “Shit!” he hissed under his breath, taking off in a run back to the unsuspecting group walking down the middle of the road. His legs couldn’t carry him fast enough, his chest aching as the cold air filled his lungs, branches whipping him as he scrambled through the bushes and brush. He had to beat them there, if he didn’t the entire group would surely be turned to dust, literally. “Angels!” Gabriel screamed as he turned the bend back onto the main pass, his eyes falling to the unscathed group as he went. Liv’s eyes jumped up, seeing Gabriel frantically running towards her, her heart beginning to pound as the group began to panic. She raised the gun she was holding onto her shoulder, aiming at the open space before them. When Gabriel reached the group, he immediately placed himself in front of her, holding one arm out to keep him behind her as his other raised his blade in front of him. “You know I can’t shoot with you in front of me,” she chided, scooting to the side to give herself a clear shot. He glared at her from over his shoulder before both of their attentions turned to the small unit of men dressed in tactical gear advancing. When their eyes fell to Liv, Gabriel swore their faces ticked in confusion. “Hey! Right there!” the leader called out, the two groups pausing for a stare down, “Kill them, on my command.” Gabriel’s heart dropped, as he planned to grab Liv and fly them off before any harm could come to her, the entire group of their enemies disintegrated to dust. Gabriel and Liv shared a confused glance, she looked to him as if he had done it, and he responded with a short shake of his head and a shrug. Their eyes then traveled to Lucifer, who stood smiling smugly, his hand still raised in a snap position. Gabriel’s eyes rolled as Liv groaned, lowering her gun back down to her hip. “Oh yeah, about the cuffs,” Lucifer drawled, “I knew they wouldn’t hold me in this world. Long story short, I didn’t want your impotence to get awkward, so I just went along. You’re welcome. Welcome. Right? Don’t… thank me at once. See. Team player.” As Lucifer nudged Jack with his elbow, Liv’s head fell to Gabriel’s shoulder as she groaned in annoyance. His arm slung over her shoulder as he pulled her away, not wanting to get into it with his brother. Of course he was playing along with games just to reduce Gabriel farther than he already was. Liv could sense his change in demeanor, she saw his shoulders slump forward and his head turn away ashamed. She hated that having his family around brought out these feelings in him, feelings of worthlessness and weakness. He was neither of those things. He’d been the one strong enough to rebel, to love his father’s creation, to fight for them. To die for them. “I love you,” she whispered into his ear, pulling his head down gently to press a kiss to his cheek. Of course she did. She was the lover of broken things. When she touched him, it was akin to when she ran her fingers over the cracked glass of a photo frame, jagged, and one wrong twitch away from scarring. Her fingers moved to the curls behind his ears, mindlessly weaving them between her fingers like the petals of a strewn rose. The haven of the forgotten. He’d never been worth a damn to anyone else until her. He’d give his life to repay that debt. “I don’t know why,” he croaked, her face falling from his response. Before she could find a moment to pull him aside, they were back on their way to main base. They moved in silence, Liv not wanting to have any form of heartfelt conversation with Lucifer within earshot, knowing it would be nothing but cannon fodder at some point. She felt blame, he wouldn’t even be here if it weren’t for her, feeling this pain, reliving his traumatic family years. The longer they stayed, the more she regretted ever making this choice; for someone who was supposed to protect him she’d done a shitty job of it… their entire relationship. The Singer Salvage sign came into view, welcoming them to another safe zone. Gabriel immediately tore off to the side, heading towards a graveyard of abandoned vehicles, and Liv followed, despite wondering if Singer Salvage belonged to… Bobby Singer. It had to. She found Gabriel tossing stones against the rusted, metal, each ping a little harder than the last. “Gabe? Hey,” she soothed, taking a seat in the back of an old van beside him, “will you talk to me?” “About?” he grunted, keeping his focus on his mind numbing task. “Anything. I just want to hear you talk.” “What happened, Liv? How did you get here?” “Turns out, Lucifer gets a little juice from being angry. Broke the bonds, attacked Rowena. She got him off of her, but kinda caught me in the crosswinds and I shot over with him. He kept me around for leverage if Jack was being held somewhere, me for him. With you.” “Smart play.” All along, she’d known that he would have taken that deal, but hearing him admit it out loud was different. She’d have taken any deal to save him, too; she’d have sold her soul to get him out of hell had she known he was there. “Can we go back to that cabana? In Belize?” she inquired, lightening her tone. “Sure. If that’s where you wanna go,” he answered, voice still flat and emotionless. “How can I help, baby?” Finally, he turned to look at her and he could tell his suffering was waning on her. He could hear Lucifer jabbering on behind them, Jack still in tow, leaving him no opportunity to ease her mind. None of this was her fault, not really, and he wanted to relieve the guilt that he knew she was feeling. “So… thing about Gabe- class clown,” Lucifer introduced, causing Gabriel to clench his jaw as he turned to face them. “And you’re an ass clown,” he fumed, Liv’s gaze hard on the setting as it unfolded. “Ha! You hear that? He’s such a cut-up. I mean, I cant… Yeah, uh, I guess your time with Asmodeus didn’t do you any favors, did it, bud?” It took all of her self control not to lunge at that snarky asshole. Her anger was boiling her blood, this was the last thing Gabriel needed to be reminded of, and here he was jesting about it like it was all a joke. “Yeah, well my time with you was worse. You recall-“ Gabriel continued on, hoping to show Jack the true nature of his father. “I recall, uh, nothing. I don’t recall anything at all. Happy endings. All good, happy endings. Uh, meet Gabriel, your uncle. And that over there, that’s Liv. She’s uh… what exactly are you two? Is she...Auntie Liv? Is that what we’re goin’ with?” Gabriel shot his brother a warning glare before turning away. There was only so much he could take. He began to walk off, needing a second to clear his head yet again and when he heard footsteps behind him he was furious to find they didn’t belong to Liv.

She watched as Gabriel stalked off, Jack and Lucifer in tow, and she debated following behind or catching up with him once his brother had slunk off to his next ruse. When Gabriel’s voice began to raise she shot to her feet, ready to run to him, but waiting for the right moment. She wanted him to say his piece, to get the words out she knew he needed to say, or scream. Lucifer deserved the rage and Gabriel deserved his freedom. Her breaking point was met when Gabriel began to walk away again, his head shaking. “Leave him alone,” she spat as she passed, walking briskly to try and catch up with Gabriel a good few feet in front of her. “Aw Gabe, that’s cute! Need your girlfriend to fight your battles for you? See, not much has changed,” Lucifer jeered, causing her to stop dead in her tracks. Maybe her brain wasn’t working right, maybe it was the exhaustion or the hunger, but something in her made her turn back around, approach the devil, and punch him square in the jaw. Jack looked on, shocked, and Liv kept her gaze hard and unwavering as Lucifer recovered from her unexpected aggression. “Fuck you,” she hissed, her teeth clenched, fist ready to throw another one right into his nose. “Ah, no thanks. I’m not a fan of sloppy seconds,” Lucifer taunted, wrinkling his nose in disgust. She laughed through her nose, nodding as she tried to suppress the ire bubbling in her chest. Gabriel watched on from a distance, a sense of pride ticking his mouth into a smile as he watched her fist colliding with his brother’s face. He wasn’t overly concerned, at least for the moment, with Jack around he wouldn’t do anything detrimental. He was trying to be the goody-two-shoes he’s never been. Thankfully, he seemed to be failing. Jack’s face was skeptical as he listened to his father. Maybe Liv was right, there was a reason to have faith in this kid. “He’s not worth it!” Gabriel called, hoping to reel her back in and over to him; he wanted to kiss her. Of course he was worth it. Okay, maybe he wasn’t worth it, but punching him in the face was worth it. Stabbing him with the angel blade she wished she had would have been worth it. The look on Jack’s face was worth it as he saw through his father’s bullshit act. The thought of him snapping her out of existence didn’t even cross her mind as she stood in front of him. He was the devil, the biggest baddie there was, and she stood before him without fear. It took a lot of willpower to turn away and meet Gabriel down the path, but she did, her concern for him outweighing her own selfish wants to pummel Lucifer’s face into the ground. As soon as she was within arm’s reach, Gabriel looped his arm around her waist and pulled her into him, kissing her hard, free hand winding into her hair as he kissed his praises. Her muffled cry of surprise was music to his ears as her arms lazily wrapped around his neck. She melted into him, surrendering her anger for pure adoration for the man in her arms. “I didn’t think I could love you anymore, honestly,” he panted, “but watching you punch that arrogant S.O.B right in his jaw, dad as my witness, I’d write a hymn commemorating your triumphs.” “You’re an idiot” she jested, ruffling the hair on his head, happy to see him in higher spirits, even if it was only for a moment, “Come on, let’s find everyone else. Get the plan, go home, right?” “Yeah.” Slinging his arm around her shoulders, they walked into the main center of the large encampment, their hearts sinking as they took in the living arrangements of these poor people. Gabriel no longer felt angry being here to help them, they clearly needed it. If it took a few hours out of their lives to get these people somewhere safe, maybe that wasn’t such a bad thing. They spotted the Winchester clan a few yards away, and the person with them caused Liv to tilt her head in confusion. There was no way… “Liv?” the gruff, old man called out as they locked eyes, his eyes widening as if he’d seen a ghost, “I can’t…” “Bobby?” she whispered, loud enough for only Gabriel to hear, the angel passing a confused look between the two. Bobby immediately ran from his spot, pulling her into a massive bear hug, her shock pulling a gasp from her lips. Gabriel debated his next move, should he wrestle her free? Let this play out? She didn’t seem in distress… “And you, too,” Bobby turned and cried, pulling the angel into his arms. “Uh… what?” Gabriel asked, holding his arms awkwardly to his sides. Clearly, they were all missing something.

TAGS: @idabbleincrazy @analisespn @nodistressdamsel @morganas-pendragons

#gabriel x ofc #gabriel x oc #gabriel #gabriel fic #spn

[thehuggamugcafe]

Alouette I: A Host’s Favourite Customer

“Hm~. My, my, that was quick. My first customer; what impeccable timing they have.” Mod Barista mused, humming as a small smile curled her lips as she approached the table, occupied by a single person. There was a twinkle in her eyes, one that surely wasn’t missed by the quiet customer—however, no sooner had Mod Barista raised her notepad and pen, ready to jot down the customer’s order, her smile turned slightly devious as there was a certain sparkle in her eyes now. “...Oh? Ohh. I see. Well, then... I should get started on it, shouldn’t I? Enjoy your music. I’ll be back with your order shortly.” Mod Barista smiled to herself as she got behind the service counter, cracking her thumb as she set herself to work. OOC: My first request. My first request~! I’m so excited! I’m so excited I’m nervous! But don’t worry, askkrisachan. I said I’d accommodate you to the fullest, and I shall do so to the best of my abilities. Here you are, hun. One spicy treat coming up; just the first slice though, dear. First come, first served. Also, thank you for suggesting the name of the café, askkrisachan. I appreciate it, truly! As for you lovely anons, the usual heads up applies. Dirty talk, some body worship, food play with strawberries and cream, bondage, finger fucking, and being screwed out of your mind by Incubus!Akira/Ren. ...Hmm. Food play, huh? This kink is a first for me. It should be interesting. Strawberries and cream, my one true weakness! How’d you know, askkrisachan?) Contrary to popular belief, denizens of the infernal realm—and the realms stretching beyond even its roaring rivers of flame, torture, and eternal damnation—were very interested in humans. Most saw them as nothing but playthings, mere toys to be used, re-used, and discarded (or worse.) once they grew bored of them. Some saw them as business partners. Others took one, two, or more as lovers. A select few saw them as something... more. One such incubus was certainly a rarity amongst his kind. A demon who saw humans as more than just things to be toyed with. Akira breathed a sigh as he all but flooped down on the plush couch, blinking as he raised a hand to rest on the sweating crown of his forehead. A few other hosts were relaxing in the lounge room as well, chatting, chuckling, or texting their girlfriends, fiancées, or wives. The constant dings and text tunes playing weren’t helping Akira’s headache, huffing forth a second sigh as his free hand dug into the breast pocket of his butler attire, withdrawing his own cellphone. His eyes stared from behind the round, black-framed (fake) glasses that sat on his nose, onyx irises peering at the illuminated screen. A notification popped up. “No new messages.” Akira pocketed the cellular device, a frown pursed his lips as he flicked his bespectacled eyes on the other hosts as they talked, laughed, smoked, and drank. They were all dressed in fine tailored suits just as he was, but unlike them, his lover wasn’t texting him. You hadn’t even sent him a good morning text, asked him how his day was, or even asked him what—if anything—he wanted when you went grocery shopping last night. By herself. Again. The frizzy-haired incubus thought, pursing his lips. He sighed; he shouldn’t be surprised at how distant you’d become in the last few weeks. Especially not after he had gone and told you that he finally found a place that would gladly have him as an employee—and however joyful, however pleased you’d been had come crashing down in mere seconds as Akira explained his employment situation. “...A host club?” “Yes.” “A. Fucking. Host club, Akira!?” “...Yes?” “...Well.” His heart always sank a bit whenever he recalled seeing the brief flash of hurt, of distrust in your eyes as you uttered your next words. “I hope you have fun being swarmed by women who want to have ‘fun’ with you.” Ever since the day Akira started working at the host club, no, the week before... He noticed that the relationship had taken a rather... sour turn. Slowly, the nights where he’d spent curled up beside you in bed grew less and less frequent, as he’d been asked (ordered, more like.) to sleep on the lumpy couch in the living room of your apartment room. You both still ate breakfast in the morning and had dinner together every evening, but the long pockets of silence were stifling, awkward. Your replies were curt, clipped, and ice-cold whenever he asked you a question. Mornings had always been his favourite time of day, as well as the evenings when you returned home from your part-time job, however... Lately, whenever he tried to hug or kiss you goodbye before leaving for ‘work,’ you’d get all huffy and grumble what sounded like, “And how many women have you kissed lately with that mouth?” under your breath, turning your head at the last moment, so that his lips met your cheek instead of your mouth. Humans were frail, selfish, and jealous beings, but were demons any better? Akira doubted that even the most pious of creatures, whether they were human, angel, or something else entirely... Not even they could claim to truly be “just.” Neither could a demon for that matter, but especially someone like Akira. The sharp click-click of heels that signalled the approach of the café’s owner caused the other hosts’ eyes to widen, passing a quick glance at each other as they straightened their postures, kicking their feet up off of the furniture they sat or were splayed out across on. They were quick to send their significant others’ one last goodbye text, swallowing the last trace of sake from their shot glasses, or crushing their cigarettes into ashtrays just as the door to the lounge room burst open. The woman who ran the host café, Ai Nitta, stood on the lounge room’s threshold, pointing her brown eyes across the room, staring—almost glaring—at every male who stared back at her. She was a thirty-something-year-old imposing, no-nonsense woman with a personality that of a cold-hearted perfectionist, and a woman with impeccable business sense at that. Apparently, from what some of the other, far more experienced hosts had told Akira when he first started working at the café, Ai Nitta had been married to a very successful entrepreneur until he died suddenly of a heart attack at the age of thirty-five. The authorities immediately suspected foul play, but no matter how much they dug into Ai Nitta’s past and character, there was nothing that implicated her in her husband’s untimely passing. Eventually, her husband’s death had been written off as due to natural causes; there was simply nothing connecting the woman to her spouse’s passing, and the case had been declared closed. Still, the groundless gossip continued to be spread, and whispers of rumours continued to be hissed around the city, dubbing Ai Nitta by a rather macabre title as the “Black Widow.” Even so, if people expected the business of a woman who owned and managed the café from top to bottom to go under, it didn’t cause people to turn their noses up at the business. Certainly not the females, young and up to thirty-odd-year-olds alike. Teenagers, college students, influential women from all walks of the higher rungs of society, and rich ex-wives of doctors, lawyers, and the like... They all visited the café, looking for companionship or an expensive, but satisfying quickie in one of the (thankfully.) sound-proof rooms on the second floor of the café. If people expected a woman like Ai Nitta, a woman of infamous prestige to suffer due to suspicions of murdering her husband, to declare bankruptcy, to live as a homeless beggar on the street corner, they were sorely mistaken. Unlike other, far less successful cafés and host clubs in the city, there was one policy Ai Nitta tasked her employees to stick to no matter what, no matter how much the young women whined, pleaded, batted their eyelashes. No matter how many women flashed their wallets stuffed with money, or offered a teasing glimpse of a shining credit card or two. The policy went a little something like this... “If that lonely housewife wants to see you again, she better fork over the money!” That’s what she had said to Akira upon arriving for his first shift roughly a month ago, after a regular customer—a woman who had just gone through a messy divorce, but was most certainly “loaded,” as his boss had assured Akira of—had said she would request him again as she bid him a good day. After she paid for Akira to keep her company for two straight hours, of course. He had passed his interview with flying colours, which quietly surprised him. Despite his natural gifts of charming and seducing others, females especially, with the sort of ease that it was almost laughable how eager, how quick they were to want him in their beds, there were an extremely rare few who weren’t as susceptible to his charisma. They were affected, yes, just not to the degree so many, many other women had been, and still were drawn to him like moths to a flame. To be honest, he thought that his boss, Ai Nitta, might perhaps be one of them at first, but much to his unspoken relief, she was nothing of the sort. She was a bit stubborn, yes, wanting to “test the waters” with a potential host, allowing him to cater to three smirking, doe-eyed college girls. They whispered and giggled to each other, batting their eyelashes at him as he approached them with a calm gait, the smallest of warm, welcoming grins on his lips as he tugged the gloves he wore closer to his fingers. And of course, how could he forget what the manager and owner of the host club/café, Alouette, had said to him after they left? After he told his boss what they had said as they were leaving the establishment...? “Hah!? They won’t pay for your services upfront next time!? Unacceptable! You tell those snobby, rich college sluts for me the moment they come through that door. Cash or credit cards upfront. No ifs, ands, or buts; no money, no service!” “Kurusu, you’ve been requested. Again. Come on! Up, up, up! I need my best host front and center!” Ai’s voice was as brisk as it ever was, the click-clicks of her heels signalling her approach as she made her way over to where the frizzy-haired, bespectacled host was lying down. For a seemingly frail, dark-haired woman who was only 5’5’’, a woman who looked like the most gentle of breezes would send her crashing to the floor, she was certainly stronger than she let herself on to be. “I said come on, Kurusu. Your break isn’t for another hour; you can service one more customer until then!” “Yes, Miss Nitta,” Akira breathed through his lips, his voice sounding a bit husky as he was sort of dragged, sort of got to his feet on his own. He wasn’t attempting to charm her into letting him off the hook, but as one of the most requested hosts in the café, if not the most requested employee, he was often working instead of resting. He could hear the scoffs, disgruntled remarks, and scathing words of his fellow employees as their boss all but hauled him off of the couch, leading him toward the lounge room’s open doorway. “Tch. Kiss ass.” “What a damn suck-up he is.” “I bet he gets ‘special favours’ from the boss for raking in so much money.” “You think? No way... Then... Hey, do you guys think he’s got a bit of sugar on the side?” “With the boss, of all people? Nah, he couldn’t be. ‘Sides, she’s way too old for him.” Akira’s lips became pursed as his jaw became set, feeling himself tensing up at the mere suggestion that he was cheating on you. Although he felt the bittersweet sting of quiet gratitude for the last remark he heard, it didn’t excuse what the others were whispering about him. He wasn’t like them, the hosts who actually had cheated on their significant others’ with customers who visited the café. He never looked at another woman the way he looked at you. He didn’t dare touch a woman in the ways he touched you. He never cooed sweet nothings into another woman’s ear as he did with you. No, it was different with you. Akira honestly and truly meant what he whispered to you, and only to you, in the dead of night whenever you were in bed together. You were granted the privilege of seeing a part of him no one else was allowed to see, as he hissed tantalizing promises of “fucking your brains out,” screwing you until you weren’t sure you’d be able to walk right the following morning, or get out of bed at all for that matter. The voice of his boss, Ai Nitta, pried him out of his inner musings, blinking his eyes as he cleared his throat before asking, “I’m sorry. What did you say, Miss Nitta?” The dark-haired woman stopped in mid-step, pointing a glare over her shoulder. “If you’d been paying attention, you would have heard me say,” Ai paused to release his hand, turning around and reaching up, gripping a hold of the black frame of his glasses and pulling them off of his face, revealing the intensity of his onyx irises as he blinked owlishly down at her. “...that the glasses are a nice touch. Good for rich, lonely, and slobbering bitches who are into the ‘nerdy’ look you put out, but this customer isn’t. She’s requested that you service her with them off; you’re more good-looking without them on your face.” “...Yes, Miss Nitta,” Akira replied after a moment’s pause, watching as a frown clipped the corner of Ai’s glossed lips. She quirked a brow questionably, pointing her brown eyes up at him. “Is there a problem, Akira?” For once in the short time he’d known her, his boss sounded—and faintly looked—as though she honestly gave a damn as to what might be bothering him. That, and she had addressed him by his first name. That was certainly a first. “...No, Miss Nitta.” The barely-there expression of concern was gone as soon as it had come, as Ai’s face returned to looking as though she smelled something awful 24/7. “Second room down the left-hand corridor. Don’t keep her waiting; a waiting customer won’t pay as well.” “Understood, Miss Nitta,” Akira nodded, pausing to bow respectfully before walking past the thirty-odd-year-old, taking a sharp left as he met a fork in the hallway, stopping in front of a door marked with the numbers ‘69’ bolted into the polished mahagony wood. All in all, Akira enjoyed working at the café. The hours were managable, the pay was pretty good, the work environment was a tad... questionable at times, but overall, the staff and employees were warm and welcoming, but... If there was one thing he could honestly say he disliked about the host club/café... It was the women. The customers whom he catered to, young or well into their thirties, curious, lonely, heartbroken, or wanting some company. Because... No matter how many smiles they flashed at him... No matter how many giggles they tossed his way... No matter how many times they batted their eyelashes as they stared up at him with shining doe eyes... No matter how many times they asked for his number, asked for a quickie in one of the sound-proof rooms... They were always turned down, always rejected, as gently as he possibly could pass on their offers. Why? Because they weren’t you.

#persona 5 #p5 #akira kurusu #ren amamiya #incubus!akira/ren #reader #s/o #sfw #for now #heheheh! #my first request~ #i won't screw this up! #please enjoy this treat #Alouette

[bestmovies0]

‘Call Me By Your Name’ works better if you read the book AFTER the movie

It’s officially Hollywood honors season, which intends anxious moviegoers around the world can finally watch and compare the movies we’ve been hearing about for ages.

Perhaps the most elusive is Luca Guadagnino’s Call Me By Your Epithet . em> The film is currently only playing in New York and Los Angeles and awaiting a wider release, which means that you have time to read the book while you wait for it in another city or regions of the world.

But contrary to all instinct, you may want to wait before read. Call Me By Your Name is profoundly fulfilling on both page and screen, but Call Me By Your Epithet may just be the rare case where you should watch the movie first before reading the book.

SEE ALSO: The 10 best films of 2017

I read Call Me By Your Name in December, before understanding the movie that had just arrived in New York. The novel is unapologetically gripping within the first few pages as Andre Aciman wonderfully describes Elio’s attraction – his love, his preoccupation, his unfettered longing- to Oliver. Aciman’s words are choice with virtually chemical precision to create a vivid and exact portrait of how young love eats. The tale soars, in large proportion, because of Elio’s hyper honest narration, which dedicates the reader an intimate and unparalleled report of one person’s expedition through love.

Watching Call Me By Your Epithet on cinema lets the actor and audience construe the implications of every seem and gesture.

However, the movie of Call Me By Your Name does away with Elio’s narration, so onlookers don’t get those marvelous words. Instead, you get Timothee Chalamet and Armie Hammer acting the heck out of Elio and Oliver’s lusts and impulses, without any terms of narration to aid them in communicating their attraction.

Watching Call Me By Your Epithet on movie before reading the book lets the audience interpret the implications of every appear and gesture of Elio and Oliver, before learning of every detail of every single thread of thought that produced Elio to a single moment as Aciman depicts in the book.

Art is inherently subjective, much as we criticize it. Having the possibility of being freely interpret a relationship as complex as Elio and Oliver’s as an outside, third-person viewer, rather than through the novel’s first-person narration, merely adds to the depth of Call Me By Your Name . em>

Take, for example, one crucial interaction the two share early on. Oliver touchings Elio’s shoulder while a group of people are playing volleyball, and Elio jiggles away.

In the fiction, you’re treated to this passageway TAGEND

…I was so spellbound that I wrenched myself free from his touch, because a few moments longer I would have slackened like one of those tiny wooden playthings whose gimp-legged torso breakdowns as soon as the mainsprings are touched…It never occurred to me that what had totally panicked me when he touched me was exactly what startles virgins on being touched for the first time by the person they desire: he stirs nerves in their own homes they never knew existed and that render far, far more disturbing pleasures than they are used to on their own.

It’s a intentionally relatable excitement, placed early in the book to reveal you that Elio’s passion is rooted in desires we’ve all shared. Not until afterward do we have the inkling that this brief minute is something beyond a casual interaction at a volleyball game.

In the movie, though, you see that scene play out over a split second as Elio writhes away. No justification is offered, leaving the viewer to ask “Is he suffer? Is he being cautious? Is Elio even interested in Oliver? ” Where the novel embeds you in Elio’s psyche, the screen version gives you neither Elio’s desire nor Oliver’s doubt in the moment. The scene is loaded with potential precisely because of its ambiguity — we could be any of those casual volleyball game bystanders, unaware that something far more tender is blossoming in their midst.

And those instants of viewer interpreting are echoed time and again in all areas of the movie. For instance, after Elio and Oliver’s first night together, Aciman expends pages and pages on Elio’s complicated thinks about what just happened. As Aciman outlines in the fiction, Elio and Oliver’s coupling is not the be-all-end-all bliss Elio supposed, but Elio feels that if it had remained in his imagination he would have gone mad wanting to live the experience.

Something bordering on nausea, something like repentance- was that it, then?- began to grip me and seemed to define itself ever more clearly the more I became aware of incipient daylight through our windows…I had known it would suffer. What I hadn’t expected was that the suffer would find itself coiled and twisted into sudden pangs of guilt.

Elio seems disgusted with himself, yet he cannot regret their own decisions he never questioned. He feels an unbridgeable distance growing between him and everyone and everything tied to his life before the nighttime with Oliver.

The beauty of the movie is that instead of analyzing[ the scene] for us, we as the onlooker get to watch Elio experience it.

In the cinema, all of those conflicting thoughts is necessary imparted through Chalamet-as-Elio’s face, where it can be hard, as a an outside viewer watching an actor, to piece apart all those warring emotions merely by watching.

But once again, that ambiguity may be the film’s strength. It seems impossible that this building, tumultuous romance would include the sort of temporary revulsion Aciman describes in the fiction. It is the contradiction of not wanting someone once you find out they crave you, and the beauty of the movie is that instead of investigating it for us, we as the spectator get to watch Elio experience it.

That’s not to say that Elio has cast away Oliver. The moment Oliver leaves for the working day, Elio longs for his corporation as both pal and buff. In the book, readers are offered TAGEND

He was my secret conduit to myself- like a catalyst that allows us to become who we are, the foreign body, the pacer, the graft, the patch that sends all the right impulses, the steel pin that continues a soldier’s bone together, the other man’s heart that attains us more us than we were before the transplant. The very thought of this abruptly made me want to drop everything I would do today and run to him.

In the movie, viewers see this TAGEND

We ascertain what Oliver recognizes, which is a perplexed child grappling with sexuality and longing.

And perhaps that discloses the film’s greatest strength. Call Me By Your Epithet ‘s not-so-secret weapon is Chalamet, whose performance communicates everything in Elio’s head and more if “youre watching” closely enough.

Call Me By Your Name ‘s not-so-secret weapon is Chalamet, whose performance transmits everything in Elio’s head and more

Take for instance, the film’s emotional closing, one long shot of Chalamet’s face presented during the credits in which we watch Elio process his relationship. Few other actors could carry such a powerful aiming. Once again we are maddeningly distanced from Elio’s inner thoughts and can only wonder how he feels after everything that’s happened. You’ll relive every moment the two of them had together and hope it’ll harvest answers. You’ll ache for him, a mere son, as you watch the magnitude of the summer rinse over him.

As it happens, the book ends going beyond that, with Elio recounting Oliver’s whereabouts and their missed connects well into adulthood. If the movie violated you, the book may offer some consolation in filling in what follows. Then again, it is likely to infringe you all over again.

This isn’t as simple as a book or movie being better than its equivalent. Call Me By Your Name can and should be experienced in both forms: each text merely enriches the other and bolsters this already surging story of adoration, lust, and yearning.

The novel is phenomenally written, but the cinema offers a rare opportunity to interpret two people’s incredible travel of falling in love. It’s an opportunity that should be experienced before reading exactly what the main character feelings in the novel. Instead of poring over the text beforehand, we can savor the opportunity to witness Elio and Oliver’s adoration without expectancy, subject to our honest reactions and the actors’ raw performance. And afterward- as the Oscar buzz constructs- we can read the book and wonder over what inspired such a magnificent movie.

We do not deserve either, to be clear. But we can damn well try to earn them.

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Read more: http :// mashable.com/ 2018/01/ 07/ call-me-by-your-name-book-movie /~ ATAGEND

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