#But not him. I mean‚ maybe they were victims of sex-rape‚ but the talk about several vampires biting him and drinking his blood

[jacksintention]

Automaton angel

#WHAT A CONCEPT #The imagery is soooo good #Anyway I caved. I've read the chapter without further context. I couldn't help it I loved the concepts it played with #Very Rufus the thing the guy with the brooch did at first. The panel of the archivist girl was so Lacie I could have kicked the wall #The play on the significance of names and existence and the role one plays in the world/notions of self I loved as well #And that is so 👀 when later on it's mentioned off-hand that... Olivier is actually named Romeo? Have I understood that well? #It was so cute that little throwback with him and Roland as kids. And that he knew of Astolfo meeting a friend but didn't tell due to that #And wow there was rape everywhere in this chapter? I didn't know Astolfo had been raped. I had heard about his... mother? sister? #But not him. I mean‚ maybe they were victims of sex-rape‚ but the talk about several vampires biting him and drinking his blood #and how the mark never leaves and how dirty and maimed in ever sense he feels sure seems to imply that at least metaphorically #The angel-like being also having gone through that is interesting again in its potential implications and ramifications. The very concept #Anyway... That pretty guy telling Astolfo that he knows what he's going through and recommending him to kill himself #because life is hell from that moment on... Wow he was so real and seemed so... sincere? But who knows. He sure is alive #That + the angel-like figure's words make it so intriguing given his position as chasseur? paladin? whatever the name was #Anyway I loved that he said that in any case #I liked Olivier on the verge of getting violent with the guy who was being a dick too I can't help it. Leave the kid alone #I'm rambling but yeah I loved the concept around this angel-like being both aesthetically and narratively for what we got #I talk too much #I should probably delete this later

[redditreceipts]

https://www.reddit.com/r/MtF/s/4O6r1DAeAq

"what about me? 🥺" i'm crying, TIMs sound so much like MRAs.

how does he somehow spin himself as the grand victim of society, and not the girls and women who suffer at the hand of his sex?

Okay so no offense, but is this guy like... intellectually disabled? I mean, it's really hard for me to comprehend that as a thirteen year-old, you don't know that as a boy, you don't go into the women's restroom. I imagine that the mom told him to go to the women's restroom when he was like six or something, and assumed that he'd stop doing that when he was older. Idk, this doesn't really sound like something that a child with a typical intellectual development would do.

Also, this story is so weird. First of all, how did he know that he should leave because he is a boy? And secondly, how do you know that your "friend" didn't tell her father to send you away because she thought that you were being weird? I remember that when I was younger and didn't have the guts to tell a friend that I was uncomfortable with them, I would tell my parents to invent some kind of excuse to get me out of that situation. If your friend was really comfortable with you, she would have sought your company by herself afterwards, right? Also, maybe the dad just sent you away because dinner was ready or the girl was grounded or something lmao

okay, this is the worst part. This is what I really hate about men complaining that the world is so "cruel" to them and that women are so cold. They keep on whining and moaning and complaining, but not ONCE do they ask why women behave this way. Do you fucking know the experience a twelve-year old girl has to make to behave in this way towards men? Do you know WHY women do that? BECAUSE IF WE DON'T, WE GET FUCKING KILLED. But instead of fucking talking to other men to change their creepy ass rapey behaviour, you'd rather complain about women being so mean.

I'd rather let a thousand men get depressed because I'm hostile towards them than give one man access to me and get raped or killed as a consequence. You want empathy? How about you afford it to the women who are afraid of you?

Oh man, and now he tries to pass it off as this super deep philosophical insight. I don't even think that he has 0 friends because he's a man, I just think that he's a self-centered crybaby. How can you be so selfish, honestly.

this is the reason why I have zero empathy for whiny men. And by that, I don't mean depressed men or anything, I just mean this self-centered, self-victimising whiny behaviour. It's so disgusting to me, and I've gotten to know so many men like that. get a grip

#radblr #radical feminism #radical feminists do interact #radical feminists please touch #gender critical #feminism #gc feminism #gc feminist #gender abolition #radfems please touch #radfems please interact #radfem safe #autogynephilia #agp #listen to trans women #misogyny #reddit #patriarchy

[alpaca-clouds]

Astarion, Trauma, Depression & Healing

I just cannot stop thinking about this topic, so I am going to talk about it. Mind you, technically I could extend this topic to some of the other characters as well - maybe I will - but for now let me talk about our favorite vampire spawn.

The game does make an effort to give every character at least a somewhat happy or at least bittersweet ending. (With the exception of Karlach, really. Yeah, I am still bitter about it.) But of course the general way it goes about the character plotlines is that they basically remove one issue and then end.

And for me there is the question: What would realistically happen after the ending?

So, let me talk a bit about psychology.

This is for the vampire spawn ending.

Spoilers for all acts.

CW: Abuse, trauma, depression

Astarion is traumatized.

"No shit!" I hear you say.

But yes, he is traumatized. To be exact he has CPTSD. Complex trauma. The difference between this and normal trauma is, that it develops over a long time. Specifically when it is not one or even just a few traumatizing experiences, but it is a lasting traumatizing situation. And in the case of our dear vampire spawn it is a traumatizing situation that lasted for almost two centuries!

Being unable to escape a traumatizing situation means that people in those situations build coping mechanisms as a method of survival. And I would argue that Astarion's entire asshole snarky personality mostly is a coping mechanism.

There are a several aspects of the situation with Cazador, that were traumatizing.

Several people have already talked about how basically Cazador has subjected his spawn to basically every single kind of abuse. We know there was physical abuse (for fuck's sake, they were tortured on a regular basis), there was sexual abuse (they were forced into prostitution and there is some dialogue that say that Cazador also raped them), there was emotional and psychological abuse (just look how Cazador talks to Astarion - and how he played the spawn against each other), and there was also a general sense of neglect.

But there is also the fact that Cazador forced them to do bad things. Be it to catch those victims (who the spawn thought would die) and there is also a bit of evidence that he probably forced them to otherwise kill - maybe people who were in the way of his politics. After all he also was quite active within the politics of the city. We also know from some dialogue that Cazador used his absolute control over the spawn at times to force them to torture themselves or each other.

One big aspect of people in abusive relationships (be it romantic relationships - or familiar relationships) is that the abuser will try to take away any possible support. I do assume that him playing the spawn against each other and making them torture each other is partly meant to destroy trust between them.

And of course, they just could not get help from the outside. Partly because of his rules and command. And partly, too, because I assume any attempt to get help would end the potential helper's life.

We also know from Astarion's dialogue, as well as the narrator text in the Astarion origin that Astarion gave in fairly quickly and tried to just do what Cazador wanted him to do. But we also know that it basically made no difference because Cazador would find some faults he could punish Astarion for.

So, all in all Astarion spend about 200 years in constant survival mode.

Here is the thing: For someone who has spend two centuries in those condition he appears surprisingly... functioning. Sure, he is a snarky bastard. And yeah, he also cannot fathom you helping him without him paying you in sex. But he... well, he is not a pile of misery sitting in a corner.

There might well be a reason for this, though: He is still in survival mode (because of the entire tadpole and world ending thing), and he also has a concrete goal (kill Cazador). The big question is how he is gonna relate and work through the trauma after the end of the game, when both the life-or-death situation ended and Cazador is dead.

Because, look. Our boy is going to need to work through all of that trauma. There is no way around it. He needs to work through it and it is gonna be painful.

A lot of people with CPTSD do develop a depression - and I doubt that this precious vampire spawn is going to be any different. Heck, I am going to go so far and say that we do see him being depressed quite a bit even in the game, even as he tries to hide it.

We know from the game he has nightmares of Cazador. Nightmares that kinda mix memories with fears. And those are probably just going to be a fact of his life for a few years. So, sleep is going to be hard at times - and so is going to be other stuff.

There will be stuff that triggers him. In my stuff I write him as easily being triggered by sexual stuff - because there is so much trauma related to it - as well as getting triggered when he is reminded of his scars. But he is also quite good at triggering himself by falling down memory holes.

Given that when you play the Astarion origin we have at least two scenes (probably more, but so far I encountered it two times) where he halucinates Cazador being there and watching him, I would assume that this is also going to stay within his life. Him seeing or hearing Cazador, because it is just so engrained in his memory through trauma.

One big thing I see him struggling with most is, that everything he is right now is what Cazador made him. For better or worse, all his learned behaviors are because of Cazador. And Cazador of course wanted to shape him. If Astarion ends up with Tav (or one of the origin characters), I can also very much see that this is gonna be a big issue for him. Because Astarion needs to change to heal. He cannot let himself be defined by Cazador. But if Tav tries to help this along, Astarion might just think that Tav is just another person who tries to mold him into someone else. (And yes, this is a point of conflict that I bring into Voice of the Voiceless.)

Another issue I could see arise is avoidance behavior. Basically... Here is the thing, trauma will never quite go away - but it can get better, if you work through it. But working through trauma is very, very painful, which is why a lot of traumatized folks instead try to avoid this. Becaue while it leads to betterment on the long run it is more painful for the moment than just trying to forget about it and distract yourself.

And given just the amount of trauma, I can see that easily happening here.

There is another big thing, too, though. Some people have already pointed it out before, but... If romanced it is fairly clear that Astarion is very, very emotionally dependent on Tav. Which absolutely makes a lot of sense, given that from his perspective Tav is (probably) the first ever person in a long, long time, who is actually nice to him and helps him. But you have to see that this, in the end, also is a type of avoidance behavior. Tav is safe, so he just sticks to Tav like a shadow, basically.

It seems to me from the game that Astarion is one of the characters in camp, who very much stick to themselves. Like, you can gleam from dialgoues (even though I still gotta say, I wanted more scenes of the characters doing stuff together at camp) that Wyll and Karlach do hang out at camp. And that Halsin and Gale over time do also kinda take care of everyone. But Astarion mostly tries to stick to himself, not really making connections to anyone.

And I think that also is in a way part of avoidance behavior. Friends means opening himself up, which means having a weakness, which then brings fear of it being exploited. So... yeah, sticking to Tav and Tav alone is so much safer.

But, here, too I think it is something that he, if he wants to heal, needs to learn to overcome. To put it differently: This man needs some friends. He needs people in his life besides Tav. But to get him there might be hard.

I mean, let's be frank. This man needs therapy. He needs therapy so badly. But... I somehow doubt that there are therapists in Faerûn.

So, yeah... He needs to figure it somewhat out on his own, which is only gonna make this harder.

tl;dr

This man is a mess. And even if everything goes well, he is gonna be a mess for at least a few years. Because you just do not get over 200 years of trauma upon trauma, without being a mess somewhere in between.

#baldurs gate 3 #bg3 #astarion #astarion ancunin #astarion x tav #astarion needs a hug #trauma #ptsd #cptsd #cw abuse #cw depression #media analysis

[petitprincess1]

Warning: Hazbin Hotel Spoilers and mentions of SA

I dont know if you've noticed but there's been new drama on Twitter regarding one of Angel Dust scenes that depict him being SAd by Val and people got so mad over it saying it was incredibly disrespectfull, harming and insensitive to real SA victims.

While I agree maybe not everyone will enjoy that scene I dont think they should be surprised when it was announced that Hazbin was much darker than Helluva Boss considering its +18 calification and setting (also it makes sense when you consider Pride is inhabited by the worst of the worst and people got sent there as punishment for their misdeeds but get no regulation/sentence for their crimes and can continue their sinful acts while Hellborns were born there hence why they have a more grey morality-like Blitzø,Loona, Moxxie or Millie-and lower Rings actually have laws to ensure people's safety). The warnings are there for a reason, buddy.

Also people are talking about how bad it is to represent SA as what it is; something uncomfortable for SA victims and are comparing it with stuff that did it for laughs like Moral Orel in S1. Yes, SA is uncomfortable and ugly to watch but I think its important to have the representation as male SA victims (or just SA victims in general) get laughed at and blamed for something that wasn't their fault. And trauma isn't something pretty and people sometimes have not extremly good coping mechanisms to deal with it. It's raw,ugly and discomforting to watch but SA victims can relate to that and actually aive seen oeople saying that they had similar expierences to Angel and honestly it feels good to be seen.

Plus honestly this whe debacle kinda reminds me of how people victim blamed Stolas for also being a SA victim as confirmed in the Circus and went out of their way to villify him by implying that he must have done something to piss Stella off for her to rape him and concevie Via which is essentially the same as asking a girl or woman what they were wearing and blaming them for getting SAd. And also shame them for trying to cope with it however they can, like joking about it or glorifying it in attempts to make them feel not so shitty for what happened to them; like how they're doing with Viv for joking about her past trauma currently.

Idk it just feels like people, especially non SA victims, dont want SA victims to have visibility and go out of their way to say harmfull stuff like SA victims shouldn't be sexy or shouldn't have sex again in their lives which is more harmfull than good as youre basically shaming them into being unhappy with their bodies just for an unpleasant and undesireable expierence they had no say in it instead of healing. I get that its uncomfortable but it doesn't mean we wont to see Angel get better and be treated with the respect he deserves in future episodes.

I kinda find it funny they bring up Moral Orel, considering they did show rape victims in a more serious light in S3, which is what got the show canceled by Adult Swim. But yeah. I dont see what's wrong with showing how horrifying and terrible SA is. If it's because of his behavior, yeah...that's how he copes. Like, hypersexuality is a thing that victims of SA can go through.

Then again, I guess Antis know better than SA victims. I mean.........just look at 'em. /sarcasm

#hazbin hotel #tw sa mention #long post #ask answered #ok 2 rb

[sophsicle]

Yo did u hear about the SA charge against the 2018 Canada world juniors players?

i SURE did.

and oh boy has my fyp been full of many people having truly HORRIFIC opinions.

i saw one decently popular hockey tiktok guy say "maybe it was SA or maybe they just took advantage of a girl who was a little too promiscuous"

and when i tell you i was so angry i nearly overcame my fear of putting my face on the internet to stitch that video and ask him WHAT THE FUCK THAT EVEN MEANS. like. men love to create this straw man argument that women, after having sex, are suddenly wracked with such unbelievable guilt that they are not pure innocent virgins that they decide the only way to fix the situation is to tell everyone they were raped. which makes. no logical sense. especially when it requires you to go through this five year fucking ordeal where you have assholes on the internet bashing you. not to mention, i do not know if these men have ever talked to a woman before, but i would say, by and large, in the year of our lord 2024, women are somewhat sexually liberated enough that they can manage to have sex without HATING themselves to the point of falsifying rape allegations. sexual assault has one of the lowest stats for false reporting and something like 1 in 4 women will be sexually assaulted by the time they turn 18. not throughout the course of their whole lives. but before they even get to college 1 in 4 women are likely to be sexually assaulted. and if you have watched the documentary The Hunting Ground, you know that those odds certainly do not improve in college. so the level of suspicion and distrust levied at women who come forward to say they have been sexually assaulted is unjustified and irrational in the extreme.

we know that a similar instance happened with the Hockey Canada team in 2003 and we also know that after that Hockey Canada started secretly collecting money from their registration fees to use to pay off victims who came forward with allegations against their players. A fund that we know was used for this purpose multiple times leading up to 2018. this. is not a one time thing. this is a pattern of behaviour that has been institutionally sanctioned.

this girl went to the police the day after the assault occurred and the current criminal case is not being brought against the boys by her but by the London Police who felt they had enough evidence to reopen the case and press charges. the way people are talking about this situation and this girl makes me want to smash things almost as much as the fact that i am sure they will not be found guilty. like i just have no faith in our legal system's ability to handle sexual assault cases.

#soph rambles

[dootznbootz]

I went on tiktok to just watch some silly Odysseus videos but then I mostly saw people going like "Yeah, maybe Odysseus cried on Calypso' island every day but honestly he had that coming after what he did Achilles and Patroclous/Circe!!!" and "Everything that happens in Odyssey is deserved cuz he took Patrochilles to war!!!" and "I feel so bad for Circe and Calypso and Penelope, they deserved better!!!"

For fucks sake I beg you, read anything different from Millers bs and like educate yourself- And please stop goddamn saying that rape victim. deserved it.

Circe probably didn't give a flying fuck, Calypso is a rapist and abuser and Penelope deserved everything she wanted and SHE WANTED ODYSSEUS

I think I've had enough internet for today, imma go wash my eyes with bleach. Anyways sorry for ranting here, i hope you don't mind it lmao

It's alright. I absolutely understand the vents about the whole thing. :'D No one deserves to be a victim of such a thing no matter WHAT they've done. I hope your eyes are okay after the bleach

Like Odysseus does so many fucked up things but Calypso and Circe? He is the victim. Period. It's very clear that Odysseus is in extreme distress on Ogygia. And Circe wasn't some sort of FwB situation. There's fear and numbness in the language he uses when talking about it. There's so much victim blaming and it SUCKS.

While back then it probably wouldn't be considered SA but now? It clearly is.

Even then, Odysseus' journey was kind of about "temptation" or just straight up "Die or get out of my sea." From Poseidon. "I don't want you in my waters so I'm gonna try and give you things that will keep you on land or just kill you."

Immortal goddesses wanting you would be many people's dream come true but not for Odysseus. And I think that's the point. His determination, how he clawed his way back into the arms he never wanted to leave in the first place, is incredible. Many people would've given up and just started a new life but he never would because no life he could ever create would compare to the life he had before. Even if it's different, it's what he's always wanted.

He literally tells Calypso "I'm not stopping until I'm home. I don't care if I suffer more until I do. I'm going home."

“Mighty goddess, do not be angry with me over this. I myself know very well Penelope, although intelligent, is not your match                                          to look at, not in stature or in beauty. But she’s a human being and you’re a god. You’ll never die or age. But still I wish, every moment to get back to my home,                                                       to see the day of my return. And so, even if out there on the wine-dark sea some god breaks me apart, I will go on— the heart here in my chest is quite prepared to bear affliction. I’ve already had so many troubles, and I’ve worked so hard                                  through waves and warfare. Let what’s yet to come be added in with those.”

(Book 5, Johnston)

Circe's a goddess and what happened is nothing like Dionysus and Ariadne and Apollo and Hyacinthus for example. Circe never gave Odysseus a crown of stars and he would never go out of his way to kill 120 people for bothering her. They did not love each other and he can't refuse as she's a goddess.

If you interpret them sleeping together the entire year,(It's only explicitly said that they had sex once so that's what I go with personally.) that doesn't mean he was happy with it! Even then, the whole situation is not what a healthy FwB should look like! I'm asexual and even I know that no one in a FwB situation should have to BEG in any way that basically says "Please let me go or kill me" with supplication!!! The fact that he leaves so quickly he forgets one of his men? The fact that during Elpenor's funeral, he doesn't greet Circe himself? He was avoiding her. Wouldn't he want to get "one last night together" during Book 12 if they were fwb? 🙄

It's bonkers to me that people hate him for being a "cheater" when A.) having multiple lovers wasn't uncommon in Ancient Greece, and B.) the two people he is explicitly said to have "cheated" with, weren't his choice. He wasn't actively searching for pretty women either!!!

As mentioned, while it was common for men to have many lovers, Odysseus never had any listed unlike some of the other men. (not bashing any of them. I'm just making a point in comparison.) He also has no other children besides Telemachus in Homer's works. There's no evidence of him having other lovers other than speculation. (funny enough, I once read somewhere that the reason why Odysseus is so mean is because he doesn't "bond" enough with the other soldiers. 😂)

Does that mean he didn't have other lovers? Technically, Nope! It's just never explicitly stated either way. He has slaves but none were ever said to be concubines or that he sleeps with them. He has deep bonds with his fellow soldiers but that doesn't mean he sleeps with them. That doesn't mean people can't write or talk about him doing so even though it's not mentioned! Just like it also means that someone can write him not doing so as there's nothing that says it either way in Homer's Works! :D

It's fucked up when people say "He didn't try to leave Calypso enough" or something of the like. It just tells you how A.) they didn't read the Odyssey or have piss on the poor reading comprehension or B.) ...you should probably stay away from that person...

With Circe though??? I can understand the confusion but digging deeper and looking at the text, he wasn't having a good time. Or at the very least was walking on Eggshells the whole time. I hate bringing up that essay over and over again but like...I literally wrote everything there.

I also don't like how people take Circe's morally gray-ness away from her. Let her do something fucked up to be fucked up!!! Let her traumatize Odysseus!

Idk, I kind of hate that I'm "known" for this but I relate to this idiot asshole a lot and it means a lot to me that his story, despite what happens to him, has a happy ending :'D

#Thank goodness I don't have tiktok >:) #I wish there was a way to like. have anonymous posts? because I made that PTSD post to show how him refusing to be bathed #by Nausica's maids and him choking Euryclea and was giving reference to make a point but I wish I wasn't like. Known for this??? #but like... I HAVE something to say. Having specific knowledge of some things just...really makes it clear in what happened that I don't #think others have considered. #And I was afraid if I was “vague” then people would say “You're just saying that to get sympathy points” and I didn't want to deal with #that :'D plus like in his outbursts I saw myself you know? #I just kept thinking “oh shit. I KNOW what you're doing because I did it too aAAAAAHHHHHHHHh” #I relate to Helen too but in a way. The Odyssey shows her “HEALED” (which fuck yeah!!! YESSS!!!😭) it doesn't show the #PTSD in the same way as she's had many years to recover. Watching it happen in “real time” for Odysseus was...really nice. #i said it before but the Odyssey feels REAL compared to the “girlboss queen slay” shit. Him tryiing to force himself into normalcy #only to act out is...yeah. #save me morally gray circe #ask #anon #Mad rambles #tw sa #tw ptsd #tw sex assault #anti madeline miller #anti circe #essay

[threadsun]

Hey, you don’t have to respond to this but thank you for occasionally reblogging valid critiques about sdj and its fandom. I’m very new, but as I continue to see the way the game is being handled/directed I can see it straying away from the original vision and it worries me. Sauce’s post about redoing the demo confused me because I felt that it already worked so effectively as a demo and never saw the no route as problematic (maybe unclear and needed minor adjustments like maybe directly confirming with the player if they want to continue), but if they felt like things could be better I wanted to trust them. Seeing the post you reblogged and the tags you posted confirmed my suspicions that sdj is effectively getting defanged which disappoints me because what is the point of making it horror if none of it is fucked up?? I like Jack’s character because he is fucked up. I don’t want some dumbed down, palatable version of him and I don’t want a rinsed version of the story. I just don’t want to see this turn into a project where the ideas behind it were better than the execution. Sorry that got really long. I suppose I went through all of this to tell you that your opinion is valid and I think you should say it more.

Yeah, I mean I don't wanna be too hard on Sauce because I don't think they're the problem. I think the problem is the fandom and especially the fans who have wormed into Sauce's inner circle specifically to guide them into making the game they want rather than the game Sauce wants.

Like seriously, the people in the fandom who consider themselves spokespeople for Sauce and the snaccpop team are insistent that Jack isn't a bad person or that he was too bad in the demo and needs to be fixed. And the alleged "sensitivity reader" misses some obvious shit (I mean who doesn't know about the complex relationship between black Americans and Christianity??) while focusing on scrubbing anything that could possibly be a consent issue from every part of the game.

It's veering more and more towards "good fiction only depicts good things or bad things that aren't real" and away from "good fiction explores every aspect of the human condition and doesn't back down from the worst parts of humanity". idk the idea that dubcon or noncon is "cheap" horror, especially in the context of romantic manipulation and yanderes, is ridiculous.

And the general squeamishness around rape and abuse and all those other things that happen to real people and can also happen in fiction? It only makes things worse for people who are actual survivors and victims of those things. If you can't say rape with your whole chest and write about it as a thing that happens (including coerced consent rape) then you're just increasing the stigma and social weirdness around these things. Being able to talk about them openly and honestly, while making a distinction between fantasies between consenting adults and realities between nonconsenting parties, is integral to having a normal and healthy relationship to these concepts.

Idk. Like I got my degree in gender and sexuality studies, with a minor in sociology (and another in disability studies), I'm an active member of my local bdsm community, and I've been a sex worker for more years than I'd care to admit. I think I'm more than qualified to talk about sex and the impact of things like sex in horror and "problematic" kinks. And the way people in the fandom talk about sex? The way the snaccpop team are handling the no route? It's terrifying. It's not healthy. It shows a fundamental lack of understanding about humanity, sexuality, and social stigmatisation.

And as I said, I don't blame Sauce. Getting stuck in an echo chamber that preys on your most base fears of being evil or fundamentally a bad person is rough. It's not easy to break out of, especially since these ideas and this misguided panopticon has spread so widely that it threatens the livelihoods of independent artists and creators. But the prevalence of people believing in what are essentially thoughtcrimes is terrifying. And the rabid dedication to scrubbing the internet of everything people find personally distasteful or immoral is the basis of all fascist ideology, and that is not an exaggeration.

#sunshine #asks #18+ only #anyway I don't wanna get into my more personal fandom gripes because I feel like I sound self absorbed whenever I bring them up #but like I have my own other issues with the way people treat fandom as a monolith to the point where they rob individuals of credit

[ellethespaceunicorn]

Bright Like The Moon: Chapter 11

Chapter 11: I Got Soul, But I’m Not A Soldier 

Rating: Explicit, 18+, Minors - DNI 

Fandom: Night Hunter 

Pairing: Walter Marshall x Black!OFC  

Word count: 3K 

Summary: Kamaria Mansfield is hired at the Minnesota Police Department as an intern. Detective Walter Marshall is overworked and unsatisfied. Takes place post-film. 

Chapter Summary: Kamaria’s attackers are sentenced. Walter devises a plan. 

Chapter warnings: a teeny bit of court stuff (sentencing), angst, panic attack, vaginal fingering, oral (f receiving), p-in-v sex, creampie

A/N: I AM NOT A LAWYER, nor do I pretend to be one. I did a little research(pray for my search history), and that’s it. Suspend your belief a bit here, folks. Un-beta’d, we die like people who tried their best. 

Dividers: @firefly-graphics 

Support/Reblog banner by me

Cover Art by me, model for Cover Art credits 

Cross-posted on AO3 

~*~Spotify Playlist~*~ 

Series Masterlist

My Masterlist

Kamaria’s POV 

One Month Later 

I never wanted this whole thing to end up a mini-circus. 

But that’s basically what ended up happening in the few short months since my abduction and assault.  

From the plethora of therapy appointments that both Walter and I have attended to the meetings with my legal team, I thought I was already bogged down with talking about what happened to me.

I told myself that no matter how many times I wrote it down or said it aloud, there was always going to be this piece of me that felt as though I could step right back into that nightmare but I wouldn’t allow myself to. 

I had done so much work to crawl out of that hole and I’ll be damned if I put even a toe back into that deep, dark space ever again. 

But the moment Walter and I stepped into the courthouse today for sentencing, I could barely hold myself together. I knew I would have to see Justin again, which wasn’t great but it wasn’t horrible. He was just another victim and if not for him, I would’ve never got the chance to escape. I might have never seen the love of my life ever again. 

I don’t owe him anything, I know that. It doesn’t make it feel any better knowing he’s going to be facing jail time. And it all stemmed from his involvement with a man who turned my life upside-down. 

Lloyd Hansen. 

His face haunted my dreams. His words haunted Walter. And his actions changed our lives forever. I wanted him to be tortured in some far-off dungeon where no one would be able to hear him scream. I needed him to feel broken, lost, and alone.  

I knew the judge wouldn’t give him the death penalty but I would have loved to have seen him get a lethal injection of Pavulon, potassium chloride, and midazolam. I fantasized about the midazolam failing to sedate him. Maybe the Pavulon kept him immobile while he felt the suffocating feeling of fluid in the lungs. And the potassium chloride without a sedative? The lava slowly tearing through his veins would be unimaginable pain. 

But that daydream would never come to life. I mean, all he did was kidnap and rape me. Let’s not get started on the unfairness of the American legal system. I could be here all day long. 

The uncomfortable wooden bench under me wasn’t enough to distract me from where I was. Walter in my ear with soothing words didn’t stop me from staring at the back of Lloyd’s head the entire time. My worry about what they would do to Justin didn’t stop me from feeling like he deserved to be punished. He still acted in my worst interest whether or not he thought he was doing some version of the right thing by helping me escape. 

I barely pay attention until the sentencing is read. Walter grips my hand tight and I focus my energy on watching the two men stand before the judge to get their lashings. I could tell he wants to bury Lloyd, and he feels somewhat sad for Justin but he would not let it sway his judgment. I take a deep breath and listen as their fates were decided. 

Justin is sentenced to 16 years with the possibility of parole for drug possession and being an accomplice to kidnapping. He cries loudly as the officers take him away. 

Lloyd is sentenced to 70 years without the possibility of parole for criminal sexual conduct in the second degree, rape in the second degree, and kidnapping in the second degree. He smiles, looking back at me to wink before he is taken away. 

Relief was too small of a word for what I felt. It was more like liberation, emancipation, or deliverance. The massive weight of anxiety fell off of my shoulders as if it wasn't glued to me for the past few months. 

My eyes become blurry with unshed tears, I try and blink them away but they fall down my cheeks before I can stop them. Clearing my throat, I try desperately to calm myself but nothing works. I hiccup, my breathing stuttering as I fail at stopping a panic attack from starting. 

Before I know it, Walter is ushering me out into a small room just outside the courtroom. His hands are on my face and he is speaking slowly and clearly, knowing my brain is catching up to the here and now. 

“It’s over, Kam. We never have to see those bastards again. You’re safe with me.” He kisses my forehead and my breathing slows as if it was a button to be pressed, “Are you here with me?” 

I hear his question and look up into his eyes, “I wanna go home. I want you to help me forget all about this. I just wanna be with you and not think about anything else, please?” 

“Of course, Princess.” No sooner are the words out of his mouth is my hand in his and he is walking me out of the room. 

We speak shortly with my attorney, or rather, Walter speaks for me as I'm still a bit in shock at everything. Once hands are shaken and goodbyes are said, we make our way out of the courtroom and out of the courthouse.  

We make it to Walter’s truck and as I get in, I realize how hot he looks in a suit. As he walks around the front, he pulls off his blazer. The way his dress shirt clings to his strong back, wide chest, and defined arms has me salivating. Inside the cab, he notices me staring. 

“What?” He nervously chuckles and his eyebrows shoot up. 

“You clean up nice, you know? I mean, you are sexy in a suit.” I can’t believe I was so anxious this morning that I didn’t notice how the blue in his tie brought out his eyes. 

A pink hue colors the tips of his ears and his neck. I just made Walter Marshall blush. As if reading my mind, he looks around before his eyes come back to me. Biting his lip, he shakes his head. 

“Princess, we are not fucking in this parking structure. As much as I want to bend you over the bed of this truck and fuck you until your moans are bouncing off of the cement walls, I’d much rather have you in bed or the couch or the dining room table.” 

“But Daddy, I want you.” My hand slides over my thigh and underneath the skirt of my dress. 

“You think I don’t want you, babygirl?” He takes my other hand and places it over his hardening length, “I want nothing more than to be inside you. But I’m taking us home first.” He starts the truck and moves out of the spot, starting us on the road home. 

“Yes, Daddy.” I concede, my fingertips touching the gusset of my panties where a wet spot is forming, “Daddy, can you drive with one hand?” I try and get him to touch me in one last hopeful effort. 

Without looking away from the road, his right hand comes to rest on my thigh and gives it a good squeeze. Slowly moving between my legs, he cups my pussy and then moves a single finger up and down the front of my panties. 

He presses a finger in til he feels my clit and rubs there a bit. My moans fill the cab of his truck and I lean back in my seat. Sliding his finger down, he moves my panties to the side to feel the evidence of my arousal. He removes his fingers and sucks them into his mouth before returning them to my entrance. Pressing in, he is welcomed by my wet heat. Starting a rhythm, he oscillates between steady strokes and clit stimulation. 

Before long, we are close to home. During the final stretch of streets, he slows down right as I could feel my orgasm approaching. 

“Fuck, you are absolutely soaked. Poor little pussy really needed some attention. Just hold it for a little longer baby. I’ll let you cum soon enough.” 

“Yes, Daddy.” I moan, my brain tries to keep up but it’s just too flustered with a pre-orgasmic stupor. I don’t even notice that we make it home and are in the driveway until I feel his fingers slip free.  

He reaches his hand up to my lips and I suck them dry, tasting myself on his thick fingers. He grips himself through his slacks and takes his hand away. He looks me up and down then exits the truck. Walking around the front, he keeps his eyes down, unbuttoning his cuffs and folding them up those veiny forearms. Once he reaches the passenger side, he helps me out and closes the door behind me. 

With a giant paw wrapped around my hand, I am being led into the house quickly. As soon as the front door closes, Walter lifts me off my feet and wraps my legs around his waist. Walking the distance to the bedroom, he reaches a hand behind me to unzip my dress. 

He puts me down in the bedroom, and my dress pools at my feet. He kneels to help me step out of the dress. My bra and panties were the next to go. I stand in front of him in a simple pair of black heels. 

“Any objection to the heels staying on?” He asks, letting a new fetish be known. 

“No, Daddy,” I murmur, suddenly struggling to keep myself together given that he is fully clothed and I am in my birthday suit. 

“Good. Sit down and open those legs wide for Daddy, Princess.” His hands roam from my ankles to my inner thighs before he kneels between my open legs.  

Walter’s POV 

Using my thumbs to open her outer labia delicately, I'm pleased to see her honey dripping. She was so worked up in the truck and this poor little pussy is ready to burst. 

But not yet. I’m going to tease it first. 

I gather some of her juices on a finger and swirl it around her clit, but I never quite make contact with the swollen bundle of nerves. I kiss her inner thighs and nip at them which always makes her groan and I am once again showered in her sex noises. She has the best fucking sounds. From her words to the sounds her body makes, it’s all beautiful. 

I move my finger to circle her entrance and slip in slowly. Her hands go to her breasts, she knows I haven’t given her permission to touch me yet. She also knows that grabbing my hand will only stop my movements. But she is always allowed to touch herself while I’m taking care of her cunt. 

Her tight heat envelops my finger and I move in and out of her folds. It’s torturously slow and I can feel her body trembling with the anticipation that I’ll either speed up or add another finger.  

When I don’t do either, she wiggles her hips and whines. The quick slap to her clit has her remembering to use her words. 

“Daddy, can you please use two fingers? Please? I need it,” The sound of her begging is music to my ears. 

Instead of answering, I wet another finger in her nectar and slide it in slowly to let her adjust to the thickness. The immediate squeeze around my fingers is mind-blowing. I can feel her inner muscle on my fingertips and I massage it gently, but not enough to let her cum. 

Leaning in, I circle my tongue around her clit as my finger did before. Only this time, I relent and give her clit sharp flicks with my tongue. She’s putty in my hands and that’s how I like it.  

All she needs is me, and all I need is her. 

I take her nub into my mouth and suck it gently, still tonguing it ever so gently. With the mix of her in my mouth and on my fingers, it’s not long before my cock is hard as a rock and pressing against the front of my boxer briefs. 

I squeeze myself through my slacks and go back to eating this delicious pussy. I decide she can cum and I speed up my fingers and suck her bud harder. The moans that flow from her signal that she is close and I relish the change in the room when she finally lets go. 

Curling my fingers, I continue to stroke inside her as she rides out her orgasm. Giving kitten licks to her clit as her hips wiggle, no doubt feeling very sensitive. It’s not that I don’t care, it’s just that the more sensitive she is, the harder her next orgasm will be and I wanna feel that one on my dick. 

With my fingers still inside her, I stand up and unzip my slacks and pull out my painfully hard length. Pulling out of her warmth, I use that hand to stroke myself. I watch her as she watches me use her cum as lube.  

Moving her up the bed, I climb in. With one hand on her stomach, I use the other to position myself at her entrance. Sliding home, I groan at the sensation of her core molding to my girth.  

It is always so surprising that it never gets old. I love that first moment of being inside her. Letting her adjust to my fat dick for a moment, I pull back and push back in. I hold both of her thighs open so I have full range to fuck her. 

Pushing her legs back as far as they will go without hurting her, I start a punishing rhythm. The slap of our bodies moving together is a symphony. The movement of her breasts and stomach reminds me of an ocean wave ebbing and flowing. This woman is perfect, inside and out. 

Letting go of her legs, I lean down and kiss her passionately. Holding her close, I continue to fuck into her. In this position, I can stimulate not only her G-spot but her clit as well. 

It’s not long until I feel her breathing hitch and feel her pussy fluttering around me. Her moans turn into sobs as her orgasm takes over her. I grind my hips into hers and help her to stretch it out. 

I get back up on my knees, my hands on either side of her head. I look down into her eyes for a moment and resume kissing her cervix with my tip. She throws her head back and I take the opportunity to kiss and suck at her neck. Leaving lovebites behind isn’t usually my style.  

But anything goes today. And she is gonna have to try and cover up evidence of my love. On her espresso skin, I have to suck very hard to leave a mark. Challenge accepted. 

Her hands are in my sweat-slicked curls before long and we reclaim eye contact. Something in her eyes draws me in and pretty soon, I am fighting to hold off my orgasm. 

Just like she always does, she comes to my rescue. 

“Daddy, I need your cum inside me. Please cum for me?” Her big brown eyes pierce through me like a fucking bullet and I’m done for. 

“I’m gonna cum for you, Princess. Fuck! Ugh,” With one last press forward, my balls tighten and I shoot my load into her greedy little snatch. I feel like I’m cumming for what feels like a full minute. 

I stay inside her, attempting to regain control of my body and my brain. She strokes the hair at the nape of my neck and I kiss over the already bruising spots on her dark skin. When my softening cock slips from her, I sit back on my heels to look at my handiwork. 

Her swollen pussy is leaking with my spend and I feel that swell of pride inside me. She’s nice and full because of me. I unconsciously rub at her stomach as I watch my jizz leak and I feel her hand on mine. 

She just smiles at me as I look into her eyes. There is something behind that smile, but I don’t have enough brainpower to work through it right now. I lay next to her and pull her into my arms. I listen as her breathing evens out and she falls asleep shortly after. 

Looking down at her, I wipe my thumb across her brow and she stirs a bit before settling back to sleep. I smile and try to get my brain to work, but it’s to no avail. She’s wiped me out and I couldn’t be happier. 

There are a few things that would make me happier. But all in due time. I figure I’ll start small and work my way up. 

Step 1: Ask her to move in with me because she already basically lives here. 

Step 2: Ask her to be my wife because I already made up my mind that she is the love of my life. 

Step 3: Ask her to make a baby with me because she’s so great with Faye and seeing that belly of hers swollen with my child would make me so happy. 

But I will worry about all that later. We can take our time with everything. Neither of us is very keen on rushing things. But one thing is for certain. 

We want to spend the rest of our lives together. That’s what matters. 

Chapter 12 (coming soon) 

A/N: Welcome back to my story. Haven’t posted since June. I missed my babies. Songs for this chapter are All These Things That I’ve Done by The Killers and Streets – Silhouette Remix by Doja Cat. 

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[divinekangaroo]

Currently, you are my favorite fic author as I’ve probably mentioned multiple times lol. Sorry in advance if this rambles, but your writing always makes me guess and look closer and it’s nice when you can ask the author your questions:

In reading your latest, I audibly gasped when Michael thought of Tommy as a priest when he was talking about his cock under the ROBES?! Crazy. I loved it. Also Michael asking about Lizzie was insane, but it’s also insane to give your aunt who’s like a mother to you’s son a list of vetted prostitutes.

Also! The little dialogue between Tommy and Lizzie where Michael is just sitting there. I can just hear her say his name, it just charged with so much emotion and AUGH. What sort of tension were you going for in that situation? Especially with Michael wondering what Lizzie does with her money— the payout money.

And I might just be stupid and tired right now, but why does Michael seem scorned (other than the fact that he was the bottom rung) that Tommy fucked Lizzie at the office? What made him ask for Lizzie, if nothing but a power play? What does Tommy retracting the card and saying that he couldn’t afford Lizzie say about him and their relationship?

Again, thank you for writing all these fics, they bring much joy <3

@lethargicmouse Thank you so much, I really appreciate it! When I did my re-watch, I jotted notes of what was going on at every point in time and I try to keep some allusion or reference to as many moving parts in any of these fics as feasible.

And then there's the format of these little fic-bits/flash fics, too, which I love because they lend themselves to being like a little puzzle box for both writer and reader, packing so much meaning into a single sentence such that one isolated word carries weight.

On top of the attempt at canon-integration, though, I also carry a lot of headcanon into this, so pls forgive if I speak about matters as if personal headcanon is canon because it's not always...

So answering your questions/thoughts -

After being taken away from his mother by the Church, Michael was canonically sexually abused by Father Hughes. There's also a strong allusion that he was (maybe sexually but also physically/verbally) abused by his adoptive father Mr Johnson, given his adoptive mother Mrs Johnson tries to bring him back home later in S4 by informing Michael his adoptive father has died. On top of this, Michael appears to have the same kind of intelligence/metacognition/ambition Tommy has and was able to do his night business school for further learning, but was nevertheIess then stuck on the farm with the white well he wanted to blow up -- this boring, abusive presentation of the pastoral 'ideal' that comes up so often in British literature and which is always subverted in Peaky Blinders.

Into this pastoral hell walks Tommy, dripping with wealth, the trappings of class, modernity/cutting edge thinking, lying to Mrs Johnson as smooth as breathing and with no shame when she calls him on it. He doesn't exactly rescue Michael but creates a framing which is: if you want this, come and get it. And Michael does, where he then discovers the layer of violence which enthralls him - here is where he fits in, here is why he wanted to blow up that well, here is his blood.

In S2, Michael is taken into prison by Campbell in a powerplay between Campbell and Tommy. He was 100% definitely physically abused in prison and likely targetted by Campbell if not other inmates, we see that in him being beaten up. He may have been sexually abused, but this seems less likely from his reactions. But to be released from prison, it's not Tommy who does anything, it's Polly who has sex/is raped by Campbell to secure Michael's release - and Michael is told this, mockingly, by guards (power figures) who probably laugh about his whore mother. Michael reacts badly to this for many reasons, but I'd guess a part of it is shame from his own past abuse - a sense of victim blaming. He takes a long time to relate to Polly again and S2 is framed as a series of choices for him, where he decides to stay with Tommy (and Polly) out of ambition for wealth despite now knowing and experiencing the consequences (prison, rape, abuse).

S3 he rises through the ranks accordingly but also takes the fall back into prison at the end of S3.

Pre S4 timeskip, Tommy's now made good his promise to release everyone from prison/criminal conviction, but Michael's nearly died as well as suffered in prison again. In my headcanon, he's also had to listen to John expounding viciously on Tommy's behaviours and history in a less than flattering way; John is almost 100% convinced Tommy will purposely let them die so he can get on with his clean, non-criminal life, and because Tommy's desire for this seemed to increase with Grace and post-Grace, John doesn't hesitate to also slag on Tommy and his women, his use of prostitutes, his sleeping with Tatiana, his getting the cream while they get shit, his fucking of Lizzie when Lizzie was supposed to be John's wife, etc -- I also theorise Michael hadn't realised Tommy x Lizzie was going on in front of him. All stuff that Michael hasn't really thought about Tommy before. Arthur doesn't want to think Tommy's purposely abandoned them, but also thinks maybe John's right, so says nothing at all, internalising and feeling completely impotent and lost. This doesn't help Michael, as Michael is the only one sitting there with a thought of, but Tommy promised he'll save us, but he has no history to rebuff John's rancour, and as well, Michael's own belief is being rapidly eroded away.

Then Michael goes home and his mother, too, is completely (and embarrassingly for him) emotionally and mentally (and spiritually) adrift, also bitching about but conflicted about Tommy, and all that entails. Michael returns to work with Tommy because he still wants this wealth, this life that Tommy represents, and Michael still kind of respects Tommy and knows he hasn't learned enough yet, but there's also this sense that the illusion is fully shattered: Michael now looks at Tommy and what Michael sees is a very flawed man who's barely holding it together, and who takes risks (in business and personal life) and abuses his power to do so without considering the cost on others/family. (Note it's not about whether this is true or not, it's what I think Michael is seeing.)

So then we hit my flashfic with Michael back at work, but looking hard at Tommy with a very different, disillusioned and non-idealistic lens.

When Michael thought of Tommy as a priest - so Michael's first encounter with power/authority is a priest who abused his authority. Michael now has a sense that Tommy has abused his authority and created situations of sexual abuse (for Polly, maybe for Michael, and also by fucking 'his secretary' who isn't even 'Lizzie' at that point in Michael's id reaction, just someone who is not in a position to say no to her boss the way Michael couldn't say no and Polly's no wasn't heard). Let's not also think about that mythos where you 'inherit' the power of the man you kill - and Tommy was the one who had the power to give Michael the order to kill Hughes; that sense of Hughes' power/corruption transitioning to Tommy.

Michael asking about Lizzie was insane -- 1000% a gut-level power play, not actual desire for Lizzie. But also, Michael doesn't ask for Lizzie. Michael says 'What if I asked for Lizzie.' Michael is instinctively pushing a sore spot (his own, Tommy's,) trying to call Tommy on his hypocrisy and power abuses, not actually want Lizzie. And Tommy recognises this immediately.

but it’s also insane to give [your younger cousin] a list of vetted prostitutes -- not for Tommy? I wrote an earlier flashfic where Tommy's father takes them all to a brothel ridiculously young after possible abuses/sexual abuses in the Parish's care. This sense of 'you feel unmanned, come fuck a woman and feel like a man again'. Forgetting that apart from Arthur who didn't get taken away, they were...not men yet, even in the measure of the day. This is unusual (at least all in the same room) but not unheard of for working class men to set their sons or younger brothers up with whores, partially because of the sexual mores of the day regarding keeping good girls virginal until ready for marriage but men expected to have ample experience to bring to the marital bed. Tommy in the future demonstrates this with Finn, too. However, this peace offering by Tommy is instantly repulsive for Michael because 1) represents abuse of power for sex again, and 2) it represents a low class thing to do no matter how classy the whores are and is an overly simplified offer to address all the complexity Michael's feeling now about Tommy, and 3) Michael's sexual experience prior to this was with Charlotte, a rich, upperclass girl, not a prostitute. Be like Tommy but with more class? Michael sees himself sleeping with upper class women, not classy prostitutes.

Also! The little dialogue between Tommy and Lizzie where Michael is just sitting there. I can just hear her say his name, it just charged with so much emotion and AUGH. What sort of tension were you going for in that situation? So this is Lizzie doing what she genuinely was trying to do in S4 early - make Tommy speak to his family again in person and get over the current estrangement. My headcanon is Lizzie has no family of her own she connects to, and while she came into the Shelbys via John or Tommy as a sexual partner, she's fallen in love with this entire Shelby family, this sense of everyone everywhere all at once, and she just wants them all to be connected again. However, all she sees is Tommy being proud and prickly, not hurt. Tommy is very hurt, and while he is proud and prickly and won't cave in, there's a bitterness there that Lizzie doesn't see or respect. So the tension was Lizzie speaking from a place of love but also annoyance at what she sees as childish behaviour; Tommy's speaking from hurt and pride and authority to shut her down. What is also behind this, too, is that I think Tommy has withdrawn from any sexual or soft encounters with Lizzie and probably did so immediately after handing her that money at end of S3, a closure point. So she has a level of longing in her outreach which he also shuts down and will not indulge. He regretted being weak, I think, and needing to lean on her, and probably hurting her too, and is trying to build up walls against being so vulnerable, exposed, used in the many, many ways he was vulnerable and exposed in S3.

Especially with Michael wondering what Lizzie does with her money— the payout money. So this line was tying into the sexual power/sexual abuse of power layer for Michael in a few ways. There's classism: 'What's a lower class bint do with this much money' is one part of it. But more significantly, Michael witnesses Lizzie getting a wad of cash for Tommy fucking her, and then Tommy gives everyone else a wad of cash for...services rendered (Tommy fucking them, if in a different way.) So Michael is looking at that money somewhat bitterly because of what he had to lose to gain it - basically self respect and respect he might still carry for Tommy, who let Polly take it and Michael take it and his brothers take it, all tainted with this strange sexual layer due to the various abuses Michael perceives.

why does Michael seem scorned (other than the fact that he was the bottom rung) that Tommy fucked Lizzie at the office? A combination of Michael's soreness at his own blind spots, at being kept blind, and a slight disgust that Tommy was exercising that kind of authority/abuse in locations Michael now has to look at daily and be reminded of. I theorise the grand imprisonment at end of S3 struck Michael as a huge surprise; he knew dodgy busienss was happening but the extent of it -- and then the fact Michael was imprisoned for Hughes' murder, which Tommy authorised -- really stung.

What made him ask for Lizzie, if nothing but a power play?

Tommy's behaviour around Lizzie is visibly out of character, which suggests there is something there that can be exploited. He employs her in a very visible, important position when she doesn't really add much class to his outfit. She can't spell. She has no prior experience. He admits she helped him; he effectively admits he's soft because of her (heart breaking comment). Michael's lashing out at evident weaknesses, similar to what Mosley does in S5. It's also poking at the prostitution thing and the fact Lizzie was supposed to marry John and that they went to the extreme with Angel: purposeful or not, every act Tommy's taken with Lizzie so far has been to make her unavailable for other men, the huge power play piece is if you really want to reconcile with me would you make her available for me.

What does Tommy retracting the card and saying that he couldn’t afford Lizzie say about him and their relationship?

Tommy recognises Michael is sore about something but conflates it to the 'unmanning' / loss of power of being imprisoned. After all, Michael's come back to work so he can't be really sore at Tommy, acn he? So Tommy does what his father did and offers the women/whores as a way to feel like a man again. Michael's response immediately makes him realise he's misjudged why Michael is sore and that it's far bigger than that; Michael, too, is pissed off at Tommy but unlike the rest of the family, Michael is ignoring that for reasons unknown and is coming back to work. Tommy's distrust starts now: what is Michael doing and why is Michael doing it? Tommy immediately withdraws all offer of easy reconciliation from the negotiating table. XD He also uses the term 'you couldn't afford her' as a counter play: all right, Michael, let's assume Lizzie is still a purchasable sexual commodity; you, you little jumped up shit thinking you can dig at me, you couldn't come anywhere near the amount of money and prestige that I've given her. Get back in your box.

After which let's imagine Tommy promptly heads over to the Midland and fucks in a fury all of his rotation of prostitutes and keeps fucking them with widely varying levels of interest through to start of S4.

(And this doesn't really touch on the Michael-wants-Tommy / Michael-wants-to-be-Tommy / Michael-wants-to-be-better-than-Tommy themes either, but there's a strong undercurrent of that, sexualised and not, in any of my Michael & Tommy flashfics)

Thanks for your questions and the opportunity to do a mini Director's Cut! Hope it was entertaining.

.

Link to the flashfic referenced above: and not one god his fury spares

#michael gray #tommy shelby #lizzie stark #my writing #peaky blinders fanfic #fannish thoughts

[mygwenchan]

NO FUCKING WAY! Zouey had a crush on Jason since last year? WTF?!

Ok, but that was still before Nant became a bit of a wild one with his sexual endeavors and the drugs. So Zouey was the first one among those two who went astray...

Also, did Zouey never think that it's kind of weird he has a crush on Porche's dad? Like.. I get if you're into Dilfs and all that, but your friend`s daddy? Come on!

He's even texting with Jason...

Damn, I knew something bad has happened to Zouey, but I really thought it was Nant who did it. I thought maybe those two were secretly dating and Nant went overboard and hurt Zouey and that's why Zouey was angry at him and eventually revealed Nant's location to the bad guys. But it was Jason all along...

Two things:

So Zouey lied to Teena about still being a virgin (and to his friends as well). And he made such a grand scene too when Teena suspected he had slept with other people... Yes, I get that it's hard to talk about sa, but still. Zouey lied, which isn't ok either

Isn't it a bit weird that Zouey was all doe eyes during that scholarship award ceremony? The ceremony happened this year, right? So that was already after his traumatic encounter with Jason. And still Zouey behaved like he had a big fat crush on Jason... Sorry, but that's definitely not how you look at someone you hate 🤔

Anyway, this explains why Zouey wasn't all that keen on having sex in the beginning.

Ok, destroying Jason's portrait is valid. But why did Zouey keep the damaged painting afterwards? Why not throw it away? Burn it to a crisp? Maybe because there are still some lingering feelings left?

OHHHHHHH! So Nant wanted to help Zouey! He wanted to make sure Jason would end up in jail for what he did to his friend. That's why Nant started to investigate Jason. Now it finally makes sense!

We also learn that Nant only started his investigation AFTER he was already in debt. So that means the whole thing with Nant having sex with strangers, doing drugs, getting together with Nuth, disposing of said drugs and thus going into debt with Jason happened because Nant really fucked up? He wasn't only pretending, like I had assumed? I really thought that Nant started this whole thing because he was already set on getting Jason into prison. But now it looks like Zouey was just a convenient tool for Nant, so he could get rid of Jason and wouldn't have to pay off the debt etc. Hmmm... That probably means Zouey felt like Nant was using him for his own benefit and not because he really wanted to help a SA victim 🤔

I get that you didn't want this to happen, but Zouey... what exactly did you do?! 😱

Wtf, Zouey? So it wasn't Nant's idea to fake his own death... It was all because Zouey wanted to make him disappear. Wow...

NO FUCKING WAY! Are you telling me Zouey told Jason, aka the dude who raped him, to kidnap Nant? The fuck?!

Yes, I get it if Zouey just wanted to forget what happened to him and he didn't want to go through with a court case against Jason (unfortunately a lot of victims decide to remain silent). But why the fuck would he deliver his friend into the hands of someone like Jason? Did he honestly think Jason would leave Nant alone? Did he think Jason's men wouldn't have their way with Nant? Or did Zouey simply not care about his friend's wellbeing? In any case: WTF ZOUEY?

And to think Nant was in the Playboyy lounge VIP room all this time... Didn't Prom notice? Didn't anyone who worked there hear something? I mean, someone must've brought Nant his food and other stuff. You can't tell me no one noticed!

#playboyy #playboyy the series #playboyy ep14 #gwen's watchlist

[thehuntss]

TRY ME

The day Emily pushed the limits too far by risking her life on a case and Aaron struggled to keep his legendary calm.

•

Hi guys !

Just a wee hotchniss shot to start the week, enjoy :)

No warnings.

She didn’t see it coming. It came too fast and it was too dark around her. She was paired with Derek, everything was going fine and they were about to arrest the killer. But when Derek ran out of bullets, she couldn’t wait for him to refill his Glock and went straight after the man, who raped and filmed his victimes before killing them, showing the tapes to his next victims.

Around a corner, she checked everything but the second she turned out, he had jumped on her, slapping her in the face so violently she saw stars for seconds. She could hear Morgan yelling in her ear, just like Aaron.

“Prentiss! God damn it ! Wait for backup!”

She felt the knife penetrating her arm, and she tried her best to muffle a painful moan. Then she heard the gunfire shot. And the dead body of Paul Logan crushed her on the ground like a carpet. Derek, who basically saved her ass, appeared in a halo like Holy Jesus.

“What the fuck Emily ?!” He groaned next to her, pulling the corpse away from her. “Couldn’t you wait for me ? You almost got killed. Hotch is furious…”

Morgan was blank and staring at her, helping her up. She didn’t look that traumatised, but he wasn’t sure she would be the same once Hotch would arrive.

Speaking of the devil.

She could see the way his jaw clenched, his eyes darker than usual. He was also blank but she could notice how angry he was, and she immediately felt bad. Bitting her bottom lip, Emily didn’t look at him first, wanting the ground to open and swallow her. She left her thoughts when his hand reached her chin, lifting it up so he could catch her eyes. Aaron silently examined her face, then her arm and turned away, fist clenched that strong they turned white.

In the plane he didn’t talk to her either, didn’t even check if her arm was ok, didn’t bother to ask what the medics had said about it. Nothing. He didn’t even look at her and Emily knew the night was going to be hard. Back in the Quantico’s bullpen, she thad tried her best to keep quiet, even though his behaviour was starting to irritate her.

“Let’s go home.”

He didn’t stop, making his way to the elevator without waiting or asking to carry her stuff as usual. Even if she always refused his help, today she maybe would have considered the offer. But it didn’t happen. The drive home was silent and she was bitting on her nails, feeling dizzy because of the longing pain in her arm.

“How long are you going to ignore me ?”

She couldn’t handle it anymore. She knew her husband and she really was in trouble. He stayed quiet until they finally got home, closing their door. And only once his coat had been hanged he faced her, pinching the bridge of his nose, eyes closed.

“Do you realise what you’ve just done Emily ?”

That was just a whisper. And she could hear all the anger and disappointment in his voice, but also the fear. The fear of loosing her. He had told her millions times, he couldn’t handle her loss, just like she wouldn’t.

He opened his eyes to look at her, and she saw the darkness. They were filled with angst, but also some lust. He wanted to make sure she was alive, she knew it. But they couldn’t just fuck like nothing had happened. That wouldn’t solve their problems and they had this weird way to fix everything with sex. But not tonight.

“You were lucky. You could be dead, imagine if he had cut your carotide ?”

He was mad. She swallowed hard but didn’t stop looking at him.

“He didn’t.”

He did it again, pinching his nose and suddenly he slammed his fists against the wall, sending a shiver down her spine. “Jesus Christ Emily! You’re a federal agent, not a trainee. You acted like one, you disobeyed a superior order and you put everyone in danger. When I say stay paired with your partner, I mean: stay together. Am I clear enough ?”

His ton was polar and even though she knew she’d committed a mistake, she didn’t like the way he was talking to her.

“Am I clear, Agent Prentiss ?” He asked a second time, this time louder than the first one.

“Yes. Yes agent Hotchner, loud and clear.” She finally answered, annoyed, rolling her eyes and making her way toward the stairs. She didn’t want to debate, not here, not right now, not after a week away from their heaven place.

But Aaron didn’t want it to end this way and grabbed her good wrist with strength. Except his arm, he didn’t even move, this bastard. She felt even more humiliated. “Don’t roll your eyes at me.”

“Let go of me.”

“No, we need to talk. I want to know why you did not wait for Morgan. And what the hell were you thinking when you just ran to your death. If you didn’t think I would be devastated by your death, did you even think of the kids ?”

He was still holding her and she knew she could do everything, he wouldn’t flinch. “I said, that I’m sorry, now let go of me Hotch, don’t force me to do something I don’t want. And I don’t want you to say I did it selfishly without thinking of you or the kids, I did it for the case because we had to stop this bastard!”

“Don’t force me either Em…” he was intimidating, almost threatening, and she tried her best to erase some flashbacks. She was thinking how much he loved her, that he had never hurt her and would never. Even when the anger was unbearable. He had never used his strength against her, not unless she was begging for it in their intimate times. “Now, talk to me.”

“Let go of me, now. Got it ?” She spitted, trying to free herself. It felt so humiliating, he was still not moving, holding her with so much ease.

But he didn’t move. Their eyes crossed each others and in a second their lips crashed into another. There was no love, no feeling, just desire and lust. He made sure not to hurt her more, and in one swift move her back was banging loud onto their entrance wall.

“Let go of me.” She begged this time.

She knew how it would end but she couldn’t stop being mad at him, just like he couldn’t. His stare, god, she was frightened but couldn’t let him know. She tried to free herself one more time and he let her go, stepping back.

“Em….I’m not trying to boss you. But I think you didn’t realise the danger, you didn’t realise how scared I was. I can’t lose you, not today, not ever.”

He broke into a sob. All the anger she felt disappeared in a second, she had never seen him break down this way, he was always so strong, this wasn’t their first fight. But he’d never broke. And she felt her heart breaks into pieces into her chest.

“Aaron.”

He didn’t move. He looked devastated, tears slowly running dow his cheeks, the whole world he was always carrying on his shoulders was gone. She felt the urge of protecting him at all costs, and she realised how stupid she had acted. The thought of leaving him and the kids alone and breaking his heart again suddenly appeared in her mind. Fuck.

“Honey, look at me. Please.”

It was a pleading, her voice ringing like a sweet music ringing to his ears. He looked at her and she threw herself into his strong arms. She was sorry, but the words were stuck in her throat. He didn’t need to hear them, he knew. Aaron buried his face into her hair.

“I thought I had lost you forever. I saw myself in front of your grave.”

It appeared crystal clear to her, he was relieving her funeral, but this time knowing she was really dead. Leaving him alone with kids at charge, for the second time of his life. Emily felt like shit, finally realising her fiery action made her husband relieve the worst times of his already so bruised life. “I’m so sorry Aaron…”

She gently pressed her forehead against his, both of their eyes closed, and then kissed him slowly, letting him know how sorry she was and how much she loved him. “Don’t ever think I would ever let you or the kids down. I’m never been as happy as I am now, since we got together. I can’t imagine my life otherwise. And if I have to die, I don’t want it to happen on a case. Believe me when I say it sucks a lot dying on the floor, especially when it’s cold out there.”

He let out a shy smile, sipping off the tears off his eyes. “You did not just made a joke about your first death huh?”

Emily winked at him, giving him this outrageous look. “No I didn’t, it’s all in your mind honey.””

“You’re the worst.”

“But you love me.”

He smiled, guiding her to the living room. “I do, and I will, now and for the rest of our lives.”

At this very moment she thought she couldn’t have hoped for a better husband, he was all she ever needed, the most perfect man a woman could expect in her life. “Honey?”

“Yes ?” He simply answered, apparently searching something in the kitchen. He came back seconds later with a glass of water and some painkillers in his hands. She looked at him with wide eyes, but inside of her Emily knew she shouldn’t be that surprised, he had always been very thoughtful and he knew her more than herself.

“How did…you…”

“Figured that you might need pain-meds at some point ?” He finished for her, addressing her a small wink. She slowly nodded, looking at him. “Because as strong as you are and wants to look, I know you, I know pain can be hard to handle, and I also spoke with the EMT.”

She should have known that, even mad at her he could never stop caring about her. “Thank you. I love you.”

“Love you too sweetheart.” Giving her the water and meds, kissing her forehead. “Take this and then we’ll go get a shower, change your bandages and maybe get something to eat.”

She couldn’t help but smiled. “You’re so bossy, Agent Hotchner.”

#hotchniss #idiots in love #aaron Hotchner needs a hug #established relationship #emily prentiss #criminal minds

[thefemcelthatdeservesbetter]

People

there's one of my classmate that i really hate, he's so.... confusing. I really can't understand people, but I'm sure all he is is a bad person. I've heard him say unflattering stuffs about me while joking with a bitch from my class. He always tell me "oh my god you're so pretty" while laughing, ironically to jeer at me. That girl he always talks to laughs as well. She's such a hypocrite slut because sometimes she tells me I'm cute, but with a sincere tone. What kind of assholes are they exactly??? I wish they could die! And sometimes that boy asks me sincerely "hey are you okay?" Is he stupid? I don't understand how can you care about people's feelings and yet mock them. It's hypocritical. His father died a year ago, so i try to think he's not that bad of a person and i should be more considerate.... No! who cares about his dad?! It's not a reason to be mean.... Being fatherless shouldn't justify any rude behavior. Why don't they just laugh at that other girl from my class? She's really ugly, uglier than me! I hate her because she's so quiet. People would say "how can you hate someone introverted and quiet if you are like that too?" Well i don't care, i don't need to have a reason, and so what? I'm not hurting anyone, I'm only hating her silently. While they lower my self esteem and make me insecure, just for the sake of amusement. And yet, people would judge me ruder than them, because they're only "having fun" and I'm hating for no reason.

The thing is that what he says hurts me, as if i wasn't insecure enough, but it's not bullying. I wish they could just bully me already, so at least I'd know how to feel about this whole situation. I wish someone would sexually harass me after school so at least I'd get... some sort of attention. I wish someone would care enough to hit me, to rape me, to torture me even. I want to be a victim!

My online (boy) friend still hasn't texted me. I wonder if i should text him first, but I'm scared I'd annoy him. Sometimes i don't have much to say so our conversations are boring. But now i have so many things to tell him! I've been having conversations with him in my head every night before sleeping this whole week. It's really fun..... I hope that ghosting me doesn't mean our friendship is over. I haven't spent enough time texting him. Maybe he hates me?

I don't know a lot about politics but communism would be great in my opinion.

I wanna throw up

I hate school so much, those people are so infuriating..... They scare me a lot.

When i get comfortable with someone i yap constantly and non stop. I think it's really annoying,since people don't care about what i say. I miss the times when conversations were just about cartoons or "hey, can you count til 100? Well i can!" I think it'd still be really interesting topics to discuss.... I think i can count til 100000

One two three four five six seven eight nine ten eleven twelve thirteen fourteen fifteen sixteen seventeen eighteen nineteen twenty twenty one twenty two twenty three twenty four twenty five twenty six twenty seven twenty eight twenty nine thirty thirty one thirty two thirty three thirty four thirty five thirty six thirty seven thirty eight thirty nine forty forty one forty two forty three forty four forty five forty six forty seven forty eight forty nine fifty fifty one fifty two fifty three fifty four fifty five fifty six fifty seven fifty eight fifty nine sixty sixty one sixty two sixty three sixty four sixty five sixty six sixty seven sixty eight sixty nine seventy seventy one seventy two seventy three seventy four seventy five seventy six seventy seven seventy eight seventy nine eighty eighty one........ Ugh i won't finish, I'm too lazy.

I've watched All About Lily Chou-Chou, i kind of liked it, even if i didn't really understand what was the movie about. I wish i could be raped just like that girl in it. Or maybe have sex with older men and gain money from it just like that other girl.

I hate girls so much

I hate other girls

I like my best friend though. My sisters and my mom as well.

I hate all the others. They're whores. They always talk to boys, always look pretty, always smiling, always surrounded by hundreds of friends. It's their fault i don't have any friends, they steal them. It's their fault i don't have a boyfriend, they make boys' standards inhumane and unreachable. It's really unfair.

I wonder if anyone ever thought about dicking me down while looking at me.

Haha sometimes when i read what i type i think about how pathetic it is! It's weird, creepy, and it's miserable! I'm really stupid.i wonder if I'll be that stupid even when i grow up.

I think and wonder a lot, must be what's stopping me from being joyful. Or maybe it's the opposite? Imagining and getting lost in my thoughts helps escape life somehow.

It sort of frustrates me and saddens me to realise that I'm not as important as i think i am. I don't actually deserve what i think i do, i barely exist, I'm insignificant and worthless. I'm not special, no matter how much i wish to be. I'm a nobody. And it's stupid and foolish but writing about it makes me feel a little more valuable.

#loser #i am miserable #i think too much #i think im funny #tomoko kuroki #pathetic loser #femcel #sorry

[paceywittergayboatman]

Honest to God I don't believe shiv thinks tom and Greg are fucking when she confronts him at there house in 3.1!here's my explanation

(sa warning)

In my opinion shivs statements here lean more on the side of more tom strange behavior with her younger and clearly like gullible and childlike cousin who's maybe in his late 20s

But before we do let's look at the first scene where Greg interacts with the mother who raised him

So I'm gonna skip the beginning but mariane gets a call from Greg and he's like help mom I got fired again and then she like your literally a Roy dumbass and then she says like your gonna go to your Uncle's birthday party:

This is kid who unlike his cousins didn't grow up with wealth so he would already be inexperienced in rich people culture making him vulnerable

then she says GROWN UP twice which makes me think is someone who hasn't had a lot of adult experiences given the way she's eases her way into this with

Also her tone of voice and phrasing here is as if he's a child

Anyway let's go back to Shiv a GROWN woman with experience around men who were known to treat women like shit and disregard they're autonomy in many ways talking to Tom a GROWN man

So she calls him out for like encouraging Greg to sort of be shitty guy who flagrantly disrespects the women he's pursuing sexualy with her younger cousin who's life experiences are even to her obviously limited

The disgusting in disgusting brothers is used here as gross but gross man behavior also BROTHERS which given that fact tomgreg has been cousins makes sense for them to say but the behavior grosser

Quick Interlude

Rome quote that's from tomshiv wedding I feel is relevant

I'd like to welcome Tom to the family.

I don't feel like I'm losing a sister.

I don't feel like I'm gaining a brother, either.

I don't feel anything.

So there's two things happening here he would be her brother he's not gaining brother not because of how feels about tom

But it could also mean he doesn't feel like he's gain brother as family member and if he's not gaining brother and tom is related to Roy's that would mean he was Rome's cousin

As in words of Amy winehouse let's go back to black

So yes then tom says we just grab a drink something other woman esc but this is also her ex husband who would be technical cousins with Greg pre divorce so he's also saying I don't do weird sex shit with your cousin shiv we just grab a drink

She mentions models, which I think the idea that the models he's fucking are akin to sex workers is highly plausible the important thing is women in terms of using there body to make money in way that is visual objectifying labor (which leads theses women vulnerable to men feeling they have right to there bodies) and given the way sex workers are referred to in succession are primarily women

Also as woman who is gay and had bad comphet phase if you say model I think lady and presume shiv a woman would to

I also think tom is fruity but it's not how his homosexuality is shown on succ

So then she's like are you fucking the models Greg is gangly and cute but he's not a model so whomever this it isn't greg

So I wanna point out here if this is ithat shiv has shown Strong emotion towards the rape brutal sufferings of the women whether or not she decides to do anything for you which offers up her possible being a victim of some sort abuse involving sexual acts

And then she says

This is weird behavior to do with your almost ex wife's like childlike young cousin who I think even shiv could read as being someone who is more vulnerable than her

Also ken uses Greg very carefully as if he's thinks Greg is fragile and given that shiv asks if stewy can help take care of the family company in 3.9 as if he's helped her before probably with ken this is weirder.

The implicitaon here is that tom like molester (the cruise dude they call mo) view women as objects to be used for men's needs which in the world succ could be rape murder throwing women off boats pimping

So Greg use in the discussion is merely a way for shiv to point out tom's icky behavior

#succession #tom Wambsgans #Greg Hirsch #shiv roy

[setsugekka]

Oh Melty, Atarashi is so gripping but also so sad to see play out. Without wanting to give up any of the dramatic twists and turns of the story, reading still makes me wish this reader dealt with her neglectful husband a different way. Therapy for one thing probably has far better outcomes than becoming sexually involved with a student of the place she works. And to sink so low as getting her best friend to lie for her, and likely ruining her reputation wanting to give an academic recommendation for the guy she is sleeping with. It is just sad. You are so good at eliciting feelings from me.

Since you have mentioned cheating is not a popular fanfic topic, at least in K-pop fic, I was wondering if you have any insight to why that is. Your themes exploring they whys and aftermath of infidelity would be quite at home in a popular movie or television storyline.

hello darling!!

// atarashii spoilers obviously but also discussion about kink, including infidelity and rape/ravishment.

reading still makes me wish this reader dealt with her neglectful husband a different way.

yeah, 100%. big reason why i really wanted to drive home the fact that none of these main characters are particularly likeable, they all have their flaws, the reader character in particular, not handling this whole thing very well, at all.

And to sink so low as getting her best friend to lie for her, and likely ruining her reputation wanting to give an academic recommendation for the guy she is sleeping with. It is just sad. You are so good at eliciting feelings from me.

it really is a slippery slope, isn't it? we're now entering territory where her feelings for hongjoong are kind of spiraling out of control because a physical affair is one thing but now she is exhibiting signs of jealousy and a grasping at straws and willingness to seemingly do anything, even things she's already denied him of, in order to keep his attention and affections on her.

definitely not a good place to be 😬 like, even worse than the foundationally ~bad place she got herself into before.

FEELINGS GOOD THOUGH, i love your commentary on this fic, i look forward to it every time because you have such a nuanced and mature view onto the situations.

Since you have mentioned cheating is not a popular fanfic topic, at least in K-pop fic, I was wondering if you have any insight to why that is.

hmm, probably a handful of reasons, the most topical and obvious one being trauma. i've seen some people talk about being unable to read a story with it due to their own experiences either being cheated on, or maybe their family was broken up as a result of it.

i find it fascinating though, that this trauma doesn't seem to be explored as commonly or in the same vein as rape trauma in fiction would appear to be. ravishment/rape is one of the most common kinks among cishet women (or women who have sex with men), and a large part of that is that it isn't uncommon for women to be the victims of violent sex crimes at the hand of men and thus, exploring it fictionally becomes a kind of catharsis.

i've also seen people just not want to read about the idols they like doing bad things, which is completely fair play!

and there is, of course, the subset of people who believe that if you engage in fiction or kink regarding topics that are ~bad, then it means that you are endorsing those behaviors and that you actually think they're good and right. this is, of course, not at all true, and a link between fiction and inciting real world violence or other behaviors hasn't actually been found in science.

Your themes exploring they whys and aftermath of infidelity would be quite at home in a popular movie or television storyline.

which is funny because a handful of the scenes plopped into this fic are from a movie called Unfaithful. just some stuff to spice it up and some scenes i thought were really fitting to be used similarly but i appreciate that a lot!

we'll see where this aftermath leads the mc...but so far...not looking so good LMAO.

#☕️ ask #fic: atarashii

[chagrin-roses]

I’m tired of antis misinterpreting media especially fucking BANANA FISH

Banana Fish Spoilers under the cut, please read at ur own risk (also mentions of SA and rape)

I came across this, and at first, I understood the annoyance, but then I look at everything else and then realized how terribly they misinterpreted Ash’s character.

I wanna preface this by saying: You are absolutely allowed to have headcanons, and you are 100% valid for controlling your online experience. You are allowed to have discomforts. I’m not shitting on anyone who doesn’t like seeing Ash depicted in any sort of sexual act or situation, regardless of the context/who he is depicted with. But your own discomforts/opinions about a FICTIONAL piece of media aren’t definitive rules/must-beliefs in regard to fandom especially. We all enjoy media differently

But that’s all, what should be, common sense. But I wanna talk about how these people could not only misinterpret Ash Lynx’s character, but the story as well.

First of all: Ash is NOT Gay, he is canonically bisexual, as stated by the creator (but also shown in the manga/anime). It is also worth noting that the people in the comments were stating that Ash is asexual(I’ll go into why this is wrong in this context, but headcanoning him as acespec isn’t the problem here)

As you can see, Ash canonically identifies as bisexual, and this image also implies, that Ash has/would engage in consensual sexual intercourse.

Some other things I wanna clarify:

- Ace ≠ SA Victim (and vice versa)

- Ace ≠ No sex/sexual attraction whatsoever

- SA Victim ≠ Inability to have healthy sexual relationships

Not only do the above screenshots show that people have a terrible concept of Asexuality as a whole, but also how trauma, and SA can impact a person. Everyone’s experiences with anything varies.

Asexuality is a spectrum. Sometimes being a SA victim and being Ace have no correlations between eachother, sometimes they do.

I also wanna note how hypocritical these antis are for using the cop out excuse of “(character) is ace!” to not depict a character a certain way, yet tell people who like certain themes in a FICTIONAL context (problematic ships, media, etc) who identify as ace are just saying that to hide the fact they are a pedophile or something.

Me and many others who identify as ace and happen to be proship/anti harassment/etc have been told we aren’t actually ace and are actually just creeps. Yet, antis jump on the (in this case not canonically stated whatsoever) “Ash is ace so you can’t sexualize him/depict him in (xyz) way!” as a excuse to push not only their purity culture agenda, but once again, this is a prime example of how people force their opinions to police everyone else and treat it like they’re laws.

Also, another excuse of “Ash is a minor! 😡” was used here which, once again, it’s fiction and two, Ash literally turns 18 during the events of the story, so if you are so worried about the safety of a character that isn’t real, it’s a dumb and ignorant excuse anyways .

I also think the general misinterpretation of not only Banana Fish as a whole, but more specifically Ash, is so incredibly present here.

Regardless of how you decide to interpret/headcanon Ash, doesn’t mean you have to force that on someone else. Fandom, and fiction, should be something enjoyable, not stressful.

And one more thing, if you can't deal with talk about certain subject matter that is depicted in the form of media itself, then maybe you shouldn't be consuming it in the first place :/

Grow up, curate your own online experience, and don't ruin something for someone else just because you're a whiny bitch who doesn't know what the block button is.

#proship #proshipping #antiship #banana fish spoilers #banana fish #ash lynx #asexuality #sa mention #proship safe #anti anti #anti fanpol #pro fiction #comship #profic #discourse #fandom discourse #aslan jade callenreese #sexuality

[fandom-puff]

Long Distance

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x reader

Requested by: anon ‘this might be too much of a stretch but maybe some smut with hotch (since i saw you wanted some requests) where he’s away but the reader misses him a lot and so they facetime and boom… 💥 phone sex!’

Warnings: phone sex/FaceTime sex, mutual masturbation, dirty talk, praise kink, sexual frustration, references to murder, rape, dismemberment and heroin OD (part of the case the team is on), and idk how tf American time zones work so just go with it ig

Gif creds to owner

More often than not, you and Hotch were together during a case, and at the very least shared a hotel room so you could return to each other at the end of the night. But sometimes, duty called and you had to go out on the field while Hotch was all the way back at the office.

It sucked.

In the conference room at the police station in Texas, the team were poring over the table and board, attaching sticky notes to this and that. The laptop was open with Garcia on video chat, the clacking of her rapid typing drowned out by her rapid explanations of various suspects.

“Go back to the last guy, Garcia,” Morgan instructed, scanning over the board for the millionth time. As Garcia started going through the details of the last name. You put your head in your hands, wracking your brain for a common denominator, for something to link the victims together, but the five pictures of different women were so very different, with different trophies taken from each one, different mutilations.

“Oh, boy. In and out of foster care… they tried to get him back with his birth mom, but I think… yeah. Dead. Heroin overdose,” Garcia said.

“Is there a picture of his mother?” Reid asked. “ID, a Facebook profile?”

“Sending it now, sweetie,”

Your phone pinged and you opened up the picture. “Oh my god…” you whispered, eyes widening. You were one of the newest on the team and lacked the experience of the more horrific cases. As everyone looked up at you, asking what’s wrong. “I think… he-he’s trying to… rebuild his mom,”

The team was silent for a moment. “What do you mean, YN?” Garcia asked. “Hey, turn me round, I wanna see what she can come up with,” Morgan turned the laptop around to face you looking between the board and your phone.

“Ashley Ford, 23… missing feet, size 5,” you murmured. “Gabriella Browne, 27, ears cut off… right ear has an industrial, and both lobes have two piercings… christ, he’s accurate,”

You and Reid ran through the other three victims, but just as you finished, one of the local officers came into the room. “Sorry- we’ve just had a call…Tracy Morrison has been reported missing,”

Within seconds, your phone pinged with another photo. You swiped rapidly between the two. “Oh my… they both have brunette bobs and… heterochromia… brown and green…”

“This is our guy,” Morgan said, and the team ran out of the room.

***

At three AM, you tumbled into your hotel room, locking the door carefully. The killer had been apprehended and Tracy Morrison had been reunited with her family in hospital, and you were all thrumming with adrenaline, but had all agree on wheels up in the morning.

You changed into your pyjamas and climbed into bed, about to text Aaron a goodnight text when the FaceTime screen came on, and you pressed ‘answer’ at light speed. “Hi,” you murmured.

“Hey, baby,” he said gently. “Long day? Reid told me all about how you figured it all out,”

You smiled bashfully and nibbled your lip. “Reid and Garcia helped… and Morgan was the one who caught him,”

“And you figured it out, and saved a potential victim, you clever girl… my clever, clever girl,” you pressed your lips together to suppress your small smile, squirming on the spot. The profiler caught onto this immediately and smirked. “You like that, don’t you, Angel, being called me clever little girl,”

You whimpered softly. “Aaron…” you whispered. “I miss you,”

“I know, baby. I miss you too, but I’ll see you in just a few hours, okay?”

“I need you,” you insisted and Aaron raised his eyebrows.

“Do you, Princess?” He asked, smiling when you nodded quickly. “I bet you’re all strung up tight… you’ve been on that case nearly a week, and I bet your pretty little pussy is just aching to be filled,”

“Yeah,” you whined, rubbing your thighs together.

“And I bet you’re rubbing your thighs together right now, trying to get some friction on your clit… have you touched yourself?” You shook your head. “What a good girl,” he was quiet for a moment. “Can you prop your phone against something for me, baby?”

You moved quickly, dropping your phone down the side of the bed, cursing as it clattered. You scampered to pick it up and prop it up against a lamp as Aaron laughed. “All sorted?” He asked, but just as you were about to answer there was a knock on your door.

“You okay, YN? Heard a bang,” Morgan called out.

“I- yeah, I’m fine!” You called back, voice a little high pitched. “Dropped my phone,”

“Don’t stay up too long now, it’s been a long day,” he said, and you could practically hear his smirk.

“Need to be quiet for me, baby,” Aaron said. “Who’s next door to you?”

“Reid is on one side, JJ’s on the other… Morgan’s opposite me,”

“Then you definitely need to be quiet, can you do that?” You nodded. “Good girl. Get comfy,”

You were more than happy to comply, and when you took your tank top off to bare your chest to him he smiled fondly. “God, I wish I was there, Princess… I’d suck those pretty tits,” you whimpered softly, biting your lip. “But I’d much rather be licking your pussy,” you nodded. “But… I can see my special girl isn’t gonna be able to wait til then… no, don’t need to say ‘sorry’ baby… I’m so proud of you for your hard work. You deserve some release… can you touch your pretty pussy for me, baby?”

With your eyes firmly on his through the screen, you dipped your fingers below the waistband of your panties, reaching desperately for your swollen nub. As you rubbed yourself, your eyes fluttered shut at the bolts of pleasure coursing through your body, your tense muscles relaxing, before contracting in an entirely new type of tension. “Hey, baby, eyes on me, yeah?” Hotch murmured and your eyes snapped open, before you let out a guttural moan, quickly clapping your hand over your mouth. Aaron had also propped his phone up, and you could see his hand rasping up and down the length of his cock, his jaw clenched. “You’re doing so well for me sweetheart,”

“Close,” you warned, your breath coming in short pants of exertion.

“Good girl, come for me, baby,” Aaron instructed, and he grunted, spurting his release over his lower stomach and hand. “Fuck, I wish I was coming in you,”

“Me too,” you whimpered, watching his release and hearing his rough voice sending you over the edge, pulsing under your fingers and you moaned his name, arching your back.

“Good girl, such a good girl,” Aaron murmured, watching you come down from your high. Over the phone, he instructed you through drinking some water and putting your top back on, before snuggling into the twisted sheets. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Angel,” he said softly, watching as your eyelids drooped from a busy day and an intense orgasm.

“‘S already tomorrow,” you mumbled sleepily, knuckling your eye in a way that Hotch could only describe as adorable. “Love you, Aaron,”

“I love you too, my clever girl. Now go to sleep, okay?”

But you were already gone, completely relaxed.

***

“Not a word until I’ve finished this thermos, Morgan,” you mumbled, holding up your hand as Derek made to start a conversation with you.

“Damn, did you get any sleep at all last night?” He asked, smirking.

“Doubt it. Hotch kept her on the phone for some time,” Spencer said, not looking up from his files, although he had the face of a man who had seen a ghost.

“But we filled him in about the case as soon as the unsub was arrested,” Morgan said, sitting opposite the genius.

“They weren’t talking about the case,” reid said, and your eyes widened as you tuned into the conversation. Derek looked bewildered. “Come on, the quicker your seatbelts go on for take off-”

“The quicker Hotch gets his ‘clever girl’ back,” JJ said, smirking.

You pouted slightly, and when Morgan turned to tease you, you held up your travel cup. “Not a word. This bad boy is still half full, and it’s gonna stay that way for the foreseeable future,”

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