#The demi feeling of having spent so long in a comfortable platonic relationship and then getting struck by the 'oh shit' moment. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

flametoash · 2 years

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Okay, I've seen the whole "Reyna and Calypso should have switched endings with Reyna finding a partner after years of searching while Calypzo realizes she doesn't need a man a gets to run off with the Hunters of Artemis to explore the world after being stuck in one place for so long", but I would like to sumbit for consideration: Reyna should have switched endings with Leo.

Think about it. Reyna spends most of HOO wallowing over what Aphrodite told her and trying to get a boyfriend. And Leo spent the entire series feeling like the ultimate 3rd wheel. Moreover, Calypso spent thousands of years waiting for a MAN to rescue her.

I think it would have been interesting to see Reyna land on Calypso's island because it would be the first time in RR's writing we see/hear about a woman landing on Ogygia. It would have been intersting to see how Calypso and Reyna realize they do not need men to save them from their "fate". Additionally, the parallel between the two being each other's loophole to the god's ordainments. Reyna was told that a demi-god would never heal her heart right? Calypso isn't a demi-god, she also wasn't what Reyna was looking for. She was looking for a boyfriend at the beginning of the series. How satisfying would it be to watch her realize she is not straight and find a girlfriend by the end of the series?

Additionally, Calypso's punishment was that men would come to her island, stay until she fell in love with them, and then leave her in exile. A woman coming to her island would be new (at least in Riordan's lore, from my recollection). A woman rescueing her from her island would be a far more interesting sub-version of expectations.

As for Leo, his story arc was about overcoming the feeling of always being the outsider, even amoung a group of outsiders. He always felt like he didn't belong. He felt awkward on a ship full of couples (especially since every single couple was man/woman)? Coming to terms with his asexuality by the end of the series and feeling more comfortable in his platonic relationships would actually be a satisfyibg resolution to his character arc. Especially cause we've seen him flirt with almost every woman throught the whole series in an effort to fit in. Moreover, he has stated himself that he is more comfortable with machines than he is with humans. I have a soft spot for Jason/Leo, but honestly... Leo always struck me as extremely ace/aro coded.

Not a single one of these three had a satisfying conclusion to their character arcs, and a lot of that could havebeen resolved by eliminating the forced heteronormative narrative.

#riordanverse #pjo series #leo valdez #reyna avila ramirez arellano #Calypso #Canon wasn't great here's how it could've been better

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disasterdemi · 3 years

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Hi!! Recently i started researching more about asexual and aromantic spectrum, ever since i started questioning my sexual and romantic orientation. I'm really confused as for right now, and i want to know whether my romantic orientation is demiromantic or something else.

I'm agender and asexual, and i currently have a lover that i romantically love with all my heart.

I do experience romantic attraction but it's rare and only when i get to know someone better or i'm starting to get close with the person, and even then it's not like i will have romantic attraction to anyone i'm close to, i can't really force myself to be romantically attracted to anyone, it just suddenly appears yk?? Like sometimes the moment i feel that i click with this person and it's not artificial, i would fall in love with them, or sometimes i love them platonically and not romantically.

I only had two or three real crushes my whole life. I know i'm still a teenager, but i know some people who had many real crushes and not just a few.

My romantic preference is people that fall into the non binary spectrum and also women, i don't think i'm romantically attracted to men, it's more of compulsory heterosexuality or i could platonically love them but never romantically.

My first real crush is my girl bestfriend that i feel like was my soulmate and twin flame. I realized i was in love with her too late, but i'm glad because she ended up being a toxic person overall. I realized my actions and my feelings towards her was romantic years after i already moved on. But i know she was the first person i loved.

My second crush is with my current lover. We're in a distance relationship, but when i started to get to know them better as each day passes, suddenly i realized that i loved them romantically and not platonically like how i love my bestfriend or other people. I'm in love with them and they were the first person to show me how a healthy relationship is like.

I wonder whether i'm demiromantic or not? Or maybe there's another term that i didn't know yet. I would be so grateful if you told me your opinions regarding my situation

Of course! I'm happy to help however I can :)

Apologies in advance for the long-ass wall of text - the app doesn't want to let me add a Read More 🙃 I tried to break it up with tildes, hopefully that helps

"I do experience romantic attraction but it's rare and only when i get to know someone"

"I only had two or three real crushes my whole life"

"My first real crush was my girl bestfriend"

"when i started to get to know them better ... i realized that i loved them romantically"

Gonna reassure you that all these points sound like you could be demiromantic, so if you like the label and it feels like it fits and you're just worried about if you're allowed to use it: go ahead and ID as demiro!

But also it's more important that you find a label comfortable than that you fit the textbook definition, so what you go with is entirely up to you 😊

I'll briefly elaborate on the stuff I quoted just in case:

"rare" -- boom, stop, there's your arospec label if you want it ;)

"only when I get to know someone/when I started to get to know them better" -- yeah, if you didn't feel the attraction before, and then you did after you knew them better, I'd say that fits the definition of demiro (that "suddenly" stuff can be pretty commonly demi too)

"best friend" -- again, very common demiro experience

"two or three crushes" -- so while aromanticism isn't necessarily about the frequency/amount of crushes (like, some do experience romo attraction often but it goes away quickly or fluctuates), this was personally the main thing I spent ages trying to find out about when I was questioning, so I'll let you know that yes alloros absolutely get crushes (way) more often than this

And don't worry about the teenage thing - I'll let you in on a secret: I've only had two or three crushes too, and even tho I'm in my early 20s... Those were ALL in my teens. Even my early to mid teens tbh. Also like if you end up getting more crushes later in life, that doesn't erase how you feel now - don't listen to people who tell you you can't change labels or that you're too young for a label or whatever

I will note that it's not demiromantic just to fall in love only once you know someone well - that's pretty common with allos too. But the rest of your ask, and the way you've worded those bits, makes it sound like you didn't experience romantic attraction before then tho either - which is demiromantic 👍

In fact, I (and maybe other demiros?) can find it quite hard to distinguish between romantic attraction and romantic love - particularly if the prerequisite bond was knowing them a long time and being close friends (platonic love?) - because they sort of happen around the same time? So if that's more how you meant it then I think that's totally valid and makes sense 😊

In summary: Yes, I reckon the demiromantic label could fit, so go ahead and use it if you want. If it doesn't quite seem right, maybe a broader label like aro, aromantic, arospec, greyromantic, or romo aro would work (long-term or temporarily).

Also you can combine any of these with "who" labels if you so desire (like demibiromantic). On that note, not sure if you were after ideas for that too, but if you're agender and attracted to non-men I think neptunic is the specific one for that. Other labels that work are: any mspec label, trixic, enbian, or lesbian ("non-men attracted to non-men") (and probably lots of microlabels I don't know about)

Bonus if you got this far!

Go through the demiromantic tag (I'll put it first on this post) on my blog if you haven't already - see if it's #relatable

Take a gander at this post I reblogged the other day

Again, not sure how much research you've done, but if you're after other arospec label ideas, I suggest starting with aurea or the lgbta wiki (this one has a lot of entries tho - I still find it overwhelming haha)

I hope this helped a bit! There's no rush to figure out your orientation, take your time and see what you like. Try some labels on if you want - I started calling myself demiromantic in my head for a while when I was questioning and realised Oh Yes I Like That Thanks haha

#demiromantic #arospec #questioning #advice #labels #ask #anon #disasterdemi

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brandedsavior · 5 years

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meme: shipping meme status: accepting @ofscientia && anon

💘- WHAT IS YOUR MUSE LIKE IN SHIPS

you mean once you get past those ridiculous defenses? ( good luck with that! ) she’s surprisingly giving. if you mention something to her in passing -- a love of art, for example -- she’ll go out of her way to pick out a painting, though she won’t make a show of giving it ( it’ll likely just appear in her significant other’s home -- no note or card, it’s just there one day ). she doesn’t inundate with gifts, or pick out frivolous things for the sake of gift giving, but she does show that she’s listening. it’s a lot of little things with her.

affection is something she has to get used to, since she’s spent so long trying to keep everyone at arms length, both emotionally and physically, but she finds that she really enjoys contact, even if it’s just a hand on her partner’s knee. ( touch starved? you bet your ass she is! ) in the beginning, she won’t initiate, but as she grows more comfortable with the idea of being in a relationship, she’ll start to seek out those touches.

since lightning is demi, i’ll answer the bi/pan question: whether it’s male or female, nothing really changes. ( since she has always kind of identified as straight, finding herself drawn to a woman might be odd to her initially, but it wouldn’t be something she’d harp on. ) honestly, light’ll just be surprised she’s attracted to someone lol. she can appreciate someone being aesthetically pleasing, but to have actual feelings and sexual attraction? does not compute for her. it’s jarring when it happens, and she’ll resist as much as she can because she doesn’t think she can afford to care about someone that deeply and in a manner that is decidedly not platonic. in her mind, love is a distraction and leaves her susceptible to being hurt -- and that’s unacceptable.

it’ll definitely take time to sway her opinion, and you have to be really committed to winning her heart and breaking down her walls.

oh, and there’s a 9 in 10 chance the other person is going to have to make the first move. while she’s bold in almost all other aspects of her life, she’s got zero instinct when it comes to figuring out if someone’s got feelings for her.

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🏩- WOULD YOUR MUSE EVER CHECK INTO A LOVE HOTEL, ESPECIALLY WITH THEIR BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND

no. there’s something kind of sleazy about a pay-by-the-hour kind of establishment. not to say she wouldn’t spend the night with someone in a regular hotel ( and if ~relations~ were to happen, so be it, though it wouldn’t be her sole intention ), but one catered towards sexytimes? nah, hard pass.

#ofscientia #anon #YOUR ASS IS GRASS AND I'M GONNA MOW IT ⚡ answered ;; ooc.#NOBODY’S FIREPROOF ⚡ hc.

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andwewminward · 5 years

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58, 75 and 76 💫

58. What are five ways to win your heart?

okay so , listen , im demi so this is ? kinda hard to answer cuz I don’t actually Know fkdnfjdndjd so I’m gonna answer platonic-wise instead. 1- be up front about things; no playing childish mind games and talking behind backs etc like high schoolers do, yknow? open and honest communication is v important to me in all relationships in my life, platonic included. 2- being able to both have fun convos, and joke around a lot , but also be able to either get serious for serious conversations Or let me know that you aren’t in a headspace where you can have a proper serious convo 3- talking about things beyond surface level with me. I’m not saying you gotta reveal your deepest darkest secrets to me , but I’ve always found comfort in bonding with friends and revealing bits of ourselves that aren’t open for the world to know because we feel safe together. 4- just generally being a good person, or at least doing your best to be one ?? nobody is perfect and we all have issues and make mistakes and no person is positive 100% of the time , and I don’t expect that from anyone. but don’t choose to invest your time in things that are super negative when you have the option not to. 5- understand that I have a life that is not online, and is often stressful and I usually come online as a way to relax or get a tiny break. i have various mental illnesses on top of being an adult and stay at home parent ; I don’t always have the energy to talk and it’s nobody’s fault , so if you get anxiety that I don’t like you anymore tell me and I can reassure you , and just don’t twist things into me doing it out of animosity I guess ??? rip this got long yikes

75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you?

this is hard but? i think right now, my fiancé deciding a life with me was worth altering the goals he’d made when we weren’t together and moving to live with me, along with doing his absolute best to understand my gender and mental illness things and doing his best to help me and find ways to help me. there’s other stuff too but some things are too personal for tumblr jfjdjfjdjd

76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone?

I honestly don’t know fkdnfjdd I try to do sweet things whenever I can but my memory is awful and my mind likes to tell me I’m Not Good , Actually , so remembering things like that gets HardTM. but , before my fiancé moved in, I spent months filling up a journal with cutesy lovey dovey things like lyrics and poems and crafty things and gave it to him when we saw each other irl again for the first time since 2014 uwu🌸

#asks #ask game #not aftg #about me

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baguettelord · 7 years

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Hey dudes. This is a post about my personal sort of discovery of sexuality that came to light last night. If you’re sensitive to that sort of thing, don’t read it.

And I’m posting this cause first and foremost I’m a super open person and my sexuality relates to my identity and understanding of myself so I guess sharing it makes sense to for to share something so others can identify and understand me in some way?

So the deal is this. I’ve considered myself heterosexual by default for close to my whole life. I have always been inherently attracted to men.

More recently, that’s expanded from an event where I drunkenly kissed a pansexual girl at a party a couple of times in separate events (I was and still am in a relationship with someone else and didn’t view that as wrong because I considered myself hetero and therefore didn’t view it as cheating. Dumb.)

Since then I started to view myself as bicurious. I’m not SEXUALLY attracted to women, but I am PHYSICALLY attracted to them. In an aesthetic sense. I like boobs and hips and the female figure and generally feminine stuff. I find chicks attractive. I do NOT like their lady parts (or my own, for that matter) and I am in fact somewhat repulsed by them.

Now this is the part that will seem a little weird but it relates to the fact that I am a very imaginative and creative person. Romance in Mass Effect games has furthured this bicuiosity to a point of sexual interest but ONLY where there was emotional attachment beforehand.

So over about the last two years I’ve used the term bicurious but it never felt right and was unspecific. Last night I spent a long time talking to a cousin who has several friends in the USA in the lgbt/queer community and she helped me to find something more suitable. As a super scientific and logical person, I feel an intense need to label and categorise things as part of the process of understanding them, so this discovery is a journey towards that. Its not quite 100% right but its close enough. I feel comfortable and like I have something I belong as a part of. This is mostly based on how I FEEL rather than experience - I’ve had two relationships only; a long distance hetero and my current and long term hetero. I’ve had extremely limited physical interaction with women, none with males outside my relationship, and none with transexual, intersex, nonbinary ETC people.

So basically what we came up with is Demisexual Panromantic Polycurious.

Let me break that down a bit.

The Demisexual is the part that makes this label not 100% perfect but its the closest thing I could find.

Demisexuals usually only feel sexual attraction to people they are emotionally bonded to.

So here’s why its not quite right. I DO have sexual attraction. I am sexually attracted to certain men who are my type. HOWEVER. I do not have any interest in having a sexual experience with anyone I’m not emotionally engaged with.

So the example is I see a man who is sexually attractive - I view them as oh yeah I could bang him. BUT I wouldn’t do it. I’m not INTERESTED sexually, just attracted sexually. Basically it comes down to ‘I like that dick’ VS ‘I want that dick’ I guess?

Apart from the attraction to males, everything else falls squarely within demisexuality. I am not attracted sexually to any other gender or non-gender orientation. I am physically (in an aesthetic sense) attracted to females and femininity. I am not sexually interested, though. That being said if I developed a romantic relationship with a non-male, with the way I think and behave, then exploring sexual experience them is a logical next step. I am 100% sure that would happen if I were in that situation.

So if there’s a more accurate word for this, please hit me up because I’m satisfied with saying I’m demisexual, but its probably not quite right.

Now, Panromantic. Thats romantic attraction to any gender or non-gender allignment.

I do not consider that love is something subjective to someone’s physical characteristics. It’s not a logical thing for me. I haven’t experienced romantic attraction to any EXISTING people outside males, BUT I am open to it and dont doubt that I could potentially fall for someone of another gender or non-gender. I try to treat all people equally and that naturally includes the range of my romantic interest. If I view someone as a potential friend, why not a potential romantic interest?

And finally Polycurious - I’m open to polygamous options.

Probably wouldn’t go for it in my current relationship, for a couple of reasons but basically we’re committed one on one to each other and that’s that. And I probably wouldn’t actively seek out a poly relationship if we weren’t, since so many people that want is are all about sex, and I’m not?

That being said, like the logic that led me to identify as panromantic applies here too. I view monogamy as a social construct and I don’t think it really applies to my natural expression of love. Not to mention the fact that since I’m capable of loving multiple relatives and friends in a platonic way, why can’t I love multiple people in a romantic way?

So basically to break it down.

I am sexually attracted but not sexually INTERESTED in men

I am physically/aesthetically attracted to some women

I am not sexually interested unless I’m in a romantic relationship AS FAR AS I’M AWARE

I align with love equality so am open and interested in all romantic gender/non-gender options

I accept and feel like polyamory is a logical option for romance for me but I have not been actively seeking it

So that’s it I guess? Like I said before, if anyone has a category more suitable than demisexual, hit me up with a message cause I don’t quite know if demi is a super specific thing or more of a spectrum that might cover what I am. Until then, I’m fairly satisfied with it and everything else is right.

And guys, I just want to say that, for the most part, its the people on here that have helped inspire me towards finding my own sort of place and definition and belonging. The acceptance I’ve seen in this little corner of tumblr is fantastic. :]

#personal #lgbtq #sexuality

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