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goose-books · 3 months

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goose-books productions: a 2023 review

only [checks watch] two months late! view the image in higher quality here; read past years-in-review here; and thank you as always to my beloved @yvesdot for the template!

i shan't be dishonest; 2023 was not exactly the year of max. but i still got a lot of good writing done! transcripts + commentary under the cut, and, uh, take the godsong character roster again.

cws: animal death (february), pregnancy/miscarriage + body image issues (july), addiction (september), self-harm-as-metaphor (october)

january

what’s that? godsong ran away with me for another year? well, it does that. in the second of a plotted trilogy, anna (roughly: what if aeneas were a very sad lesbian?) and her lieutenants visit a soothsayer. ichari wants to kill for her, btw. anna please let them kill for you,

“Have we got to sacrifice an animal?” Sascha said, tilting his head. “Let you dig around in the entrails?” “If you’d like,” the Sibyl said, upper lip wrinkling. “But I’m haughty enough to believe I can make do with a bit of holy blood. Not you. Annadrijanna, if you would give me your hand.” Anna didn’t move. Her eyes widened, very slightly, as she stared at the hand the Sibyl had extended to her, palm up. Ichari’s hand was on their knife again before they could blink. Damn the gods and Avender’s Sibyl, and damn Anna’s quest, the moment she needed it they could have their blade in the prophet’s throat no matter what holy punishment tumbled down on their heels— “It won’t be like the other,” the Sibyl said, nodding to Anna’s right hand. “I keep my tools clean. Far less messy than entrails.” From their cloak pocket they drew a glinting silver pin, topped with a bead of pearl. “Just a prick, that’s all.” Ichari couldn’t tell if Anna’s chest was rising and falling beneath the robes, or if she had calcified entirely. “Anna,” they said, soft, warning. Almost pleading. Just give me the word, Anna. Just say the word. “You’ve a lot of ghosts clinging to your robes, Annadrijanna,” the Sibyl said softly. “I need a bit of life.”

february

while anna’s doing that, ambergris is causing problems. raised in regency patriarchyville, she recently befriended a dragon and received Powers; now she’s working toward 1. making it seem like her family’s manor is haunted 2. killing her parents and 3. having gay sex. not necessarily in that order.

Blood and yolk still stuck to her hands, gumming the webbing between thumb and forefinger. But it was a pretty picture, the mews desecrated, the falcons gone mad and tearing open their eggs. The duchy would whisper that Pyranimia had forsaken even the birds, that the Armindale fortune was suffocating in broken shells, and no one would consider that it was only nature, that rabbits and snakes and stable cats would swallow down their young if they got hungry. But not here, Ambergris thought, serene, picturing what her mother would say when she learned of the mews—the slight twitch of her mouth before her face settled back into glacial calm. Not you. You wish you could. You’re starving for it. But you won’t be rid of me now. You don’t know that yet. But I hold you in my hands now. If I were really a sorceress, I could twist up your body, ruin the organs that made me, the ones that hurt you. Or I could take them out and let you go free. She could sympathize. Abandoned by the goddess, she too might have withered and waned, and come to loathe the children sapping her strength as they grew inside her body. But her mother had made Ambergris too well for that—too cold to love a child or a husband, too cold to shrink from blood. You took the knife from your chest and put it in mine, Ambergris thought. But the gods have been watching. My god has been watching. The storm is building. And before I ever let you eat me, Mother, I will finish a daughter’s work and drain you dry. She raised her hand to her mouth, where her thumb met her forefinger, and licked away the blood.

march

in the spring i wrote a very long paper about antony and cleopatra (the shakespeare play, and also the people, and also the echoes of their story in the aeneid). which got me thinking about the deliberate narrative parallels between dido and cleopatra, which got me writing a ten-minute play where they have a one-night stand. happens to the best of us. i’m very proud of how this one came out, actually, but i have no idea what to do with it. target audience of weird lesbian classicists?

D: I want to be someone they don’t write tragedies about. C: (to the audience) Well. How charmingly ironic. D: If I could just—have—if I could just—just a life. Just someone who loves me. Just someone who won’t go away. Something boring. Something monotone. I don’t care how good I look burning. I want to stop being on fire. C: You have absolutely no sense of flair. D: I miss my sister. (A pause. She looks to C.) C: Can’t help you there. I had mine killed. D: (exhausted) Happens.

april

fans of the aeneid, please enjoy The Scene In Which The Protag Loses To A Tree. if godsong ever drops i will accept a 10-page double-spaced essay about how it is in conversation with the jason & medea myth.

Anna set his jaw. He braced his wooden hand against the trunk, then stepped up onto the coil and reached for the golden branch. It was slick and cold under his fingers, closer to stone than wood; Anna took hold and yanked. The branch slid from his fingers. Anna grabbed the trunk so he didn’t fall backward, ice jolting up his spine. The serpent hadn’t moved. Again he tried to snap the branch. A whisper of leaves as it bent, but there was no give; again his sweat-damp hand fell away. The word that slipped from his mouth startled him, because it was the sort of word no one used in a temple, something Caradorra had been scolded for saying in front of their mother. Another glance at Sascha. The serpent hadn’t stirred. Anna wiped his hand on his robes, straining up on his toes, and wrapped his hand around the base of the branch. If he could saw at it—but his sword lay gleaming and useless in the grass, his calves starting to ache, the branch warming under his touch. Please, Iv, please, please, please— He ignored the flicker in the corner of his eye: movement from the lakeside. But then came the hiss, rising like steam from the water thrown at the charred walls of a burning city, and his blood ran cold. Breaking from the lake, wet and shimmering, came an enormous frilled head. The second serpent, awake and alert, slitted yellow eyes fixed on Anna. It moved faster than thought—legs bunching, coils rippling, launching itself for the tree. “Sascha, down!” Ichari shouted from the treeline, and the gun went off, louder than godly thunder, and the branch beside Anna burst into splinters, and as he gave a last desperate yank the golden branch snapped cleanly into his hand.

may

while working on the actual plot of godsong, i was also fleshing out the backstory, and ended up stumbling into the personalities of anna’s parents (a t4t4t throuple! let’s go gay people). so here’s a bit of anna backstory from the perspective of his mother, who is wonderful and nervous. did you know anna was chosen for priesthood at age 11? probably had no long-term psychological effect on her at all.

It was a celebration for Eli’s records: three days and three nights of festival feasting, of singing and dancing and hymns, of the temple bells ringing a clangorous echo from dawn until dusk. In past years, after past Ivtouchings, the celebrations had been citywide but quieter, briefer—the ceremonial anointment before the temple doors, to mark the new priest as a new melody in Iv’s living voice, and then a song. But it had been three hundred years since Iv had plucked a child from the rings of Ivander to holiness. No simple ceremony would suffice. On the first day, the older Ivtouched helped Anna atop an oxcart, the horns of each ox wrapped in gold ribbon, and led him in cheering parade through the city’s spiraling roads to the temple. In the street, in the surging shouting crowds that followed on foot, Radi cheered her voice hoarse and tried to etch the picture into her memory: the brilliant blue of the sky, the loose tail of ribbon flapping from one oxhorn, the glint of the sun off the bronze-painted spokes of the cart’s wheels. All of those details she might have set to canvas, with a small enough brush and a steady enough hand. But she knew even then that she wouldn’t try. There was no replicating her son’s smile, so broad it must have ached, or the dazed look of joy in his eyes. As if he were dreaming and praying not to wake. As if some curtain had unveiled before him to show him the heavens in shining vivid color, the world created for him anew. Someone else’s hands would mark him holy; someone else’s hands had dressed him in the dark Ivtouched robes, billowing out behind him in the breeze. He wasn’t quite tall enough. The hem was pinned up so it didn’t drag. Every few minutes atop the cart, Anna’s hand drifted down to hike the fabric up, more twitchy than deliberate, each yank a quiet spear through Radi’s heart.

june

please refer to my february comments on that list of ambergris’s.

Ambergris regarded them coolly. She had pulled them around the back of the orchestra into a corner: curtained from the rest of the room by a clot of musicians, the strings near too loud to speak over, the lanterns throwing warped shadows over the floor. “I apologize,” she said, slow, “if I startled you, Captain. I’d like a word.” Ichari’s heart still pattered at their ribs. Again they forced down the shaking need to wipe that faint smirk from her face. “You’ve had a few. You satisfied yet?” “Y-you’ve met my husband,” Ambergris said, “twice now.” So she had been watching, then, probably sunken into the shadows like a grotesque. “Twice too many times,” they said, curling their lip. “You aren’t impressed.” “Don’t let me offend your wifely sensibilities.” Ichari flashed their wickedest grin to see if she would squirm. “But you’re too pretty to go to waste on an ill-dressed fool’s limp cock.” Ambergris didn’t flinch, but her eyes widened slightly. Big innocent eyes, Sascha’s eyes, with all the guilelessness of a kitten. “Am I?” “Too good for him? I’m sorry you had to find out this way, duchess.” “Not duchess,” Ambergris said, “yet. I find—I know I’m too good. Am I pretty.”

july

more backstory, this time in second person about ambergris’s mother, who gets a POV in the book proper. not a very fun POV, but there's generational trauma to explore. creusa is the doctor that's been called in to help jonquilla through a miscarriage; she is gnc as fuck (jonquilla voice: you're insane).

Four weeks Creusa tends your bedside—four fuzzy weeks drifting in and out of fever, your thoughts racing like loosed horses, as you bleed out the last of your hoped-for heir. You loathe her for it, with a bright-hot intensity you can only grasp for moments at a time between unconsciousnesses. You loathe her for daring to pity you, for helping you sit up to drink down your pain relief; you loathe her for doing it well. You loathe her because she is fresh and young and rosy-cheeked and you are soft and lumpy and pathetic. You loathe her because she is beautiful despite all she does to destroy it, despite the way she prowls the manor in trousers, despite the fact that you have never once seen her suck in her stomach. Beautiful the way you were mere years ago. Beautiful enough to make breath catch when those worn fingers tuck her shorn hair behind her ears. What gives her the right to see you like this? What gives her the right to sprawl out in your home, in your chambers, in all her impropriety? What gives her the right to choose to be—this? Does she have a husband somewhere who lets her run free? Children she tends to with the same slight curve of a smile she gives you? Sisters? Brothers? Who does she fall into bed with at night? You want to step inside her skin, to pry it up, to take her apart and see how her heart beats. She’s had her hands in enough of your blood. You want to hold her organs. Your dreams come in tatters. Your stomach swollen to bursting again. The endless hallways. Dittany soaring away from you. Children squirming in your gut. Creusa stroking your hair. Sometimes those are not dreams, you think; sometimes your eyes flutter open and she is there, patient, quiet, calm. As she always is, except for the crease in her soft rose-petal lips, because when you are asleep she does not smile at you. She watches you as if she is afraid for you. She watches you as if she is guilty of something. There are other dreams, too. Dreams you refuse to remember.

august

in august i had a Medical Experience. but first i finished the draft of godsong2, because i never fucking lose. this bit is from the very last scene, where no one is doing well.

Most days she shaved her face each day after morningsong, when she had the strength and a passable mirror. In Ivander she had not needed to, but she liked the look of it, the cleanness; in Armindale Manor she had been particularly careful. Sascha must have noticed, or picked it up from her face, because he scrambled wobbling back to his feet. “I’ll fetch a razor, eh?” “Sascha—” Ichari started, but Sascha waved a hand. “I’ll do it, Anna,” he said, earnest. Her twinge of warmth was faint; she inclined her head slightly. They had done something like this before, Sascha scrunching up next to her to wind his fingers through her hair—hair, Anna realized distantly, that was soot-choked and tangled now. He had spun her waves into a thick braid, then a number of tiny ones, chattering all the while; she had repaid him for it once with a spiraling swirl of mehndi across each of his fluttery hands. Now, though, when he held the razor up to her face, there was a new trepidation in the set of his lips. It took Anna too many sticky seconds to realize he was trying and failing to settle the terrible shake in his hands. “Sorry,” he said, blanching, when Anna looked at him. “Ah, I’m sorry, I…” “Armindale,” Ichari said, soft. Gentler than she had ever heard his name in their voice. They held out a palm. “S’okay.” Anna tilted her face toward them. Sascha scooted back to wrap his arms around his knees and watch Ichari sliver the hair from her chin, one hand braced against her cheek, their hands callused and cold and kind.

september

and we've reached the part of the year where school hit me like a Fucking Train. here's some carronash. that is, MILF julius caesar x neopronouns mark antony, in an extremely uneven borderline-religious-worship dynamic that has swallowed the latter's entire life (more about their deal here). you know, out of context here, they almost look sweet.

Ash shut xir eyes so xe wouldn’t see her hear it, and xe croaked, “I need a drink.” Her chest rose and fell beneath xim in silence. Somewhere beyond xir walls, a cart rattled over the streets. “I know,” Ash said, panic starting to rise cold in xir throat. “I know—I know, but it hurts, I need a drink, Julienne, it hurts, I think I’m going to die. I think I might fucking die.” I know you do, she had said the last time xe’d told her xe needed a drink. I know you do. I know you know why it’s a bad idea. And she had kissed xir forehead like an anointment and held xim when xe shook with frustrated sobs. Nothing now. Just her hand combing through xir curls. “Julienne,” Ash said, near a whine, the craving a spidery itch beneath xir skin. “Ash,” Julienne said. “Am I asking too much of you?” It didn’t sound like a condemnation. Xir insides curled anyway. “No,” xe said, small as a scolded child. “No, I just—I just…” “If it’s too much,” she said, soft. “If you can’t bear it. There’s no shame in that.”

october

i posted this poem here, but we’ll see it again! i think it’s kind of heavy-handed, but that's what happens when you try to articulate an insanity.

2:35 grindstone // max franciscovich there is a knife in my hand. there is a knife i am holding in the palm of my hand. i hold it by the blade. when i squeeze the blood runs down through the webbings of my fingers and the sting is hot. if i uncurl my fingers i will let go of the knife and it will not hurt. if i let go of the knife i will forget pain. suffering and fear will dull and scab over and my eyes will close. when i squeeze i remember it hurts. i remember i am dangerous. my eyes can close. i can cut with a touch. if i let go of the knife it will not hurt to make a fist. if i let go of the knife i will make a fist. if i let go of the knife in my hand i will forget there is a knife in my hand. when i squeeze the sting whets my thoughts and i see the world in all its brutal glory and i touch nothing i could ruin. there is a knife in my hand. there is a knife i am holding in the palm of my hand.

november

no nano this year :( i was being crushed by school and mentals, unfortunately. which sucks, because i've had a streak since 2018! but alas. next year. i did write a little more godsongverse backstory, set in anna's old city and starring the book's hector and andromache figures (ira and lucia, respectively; imi and nia are their twin toddlers).

Here was a part of the war that would not be told: that sometimes it would be late, very late, the sun sunken into the earth and the children in bed, before Ira came home. That Imi and Nia were asleep, Lucia suspected, was not an effect but a reason, because sometimes her heart-knit lover was nigh unrecognizable in the doorway, hunched and haggard, bathed in gore, and the twins would have been terrified. Blasphemous, maybe, for Lucia to see the dried blood cracking in rivulets on Ira’s skin and think of Iv’s shattered face. But even blasphemy was better than the other reason she shied from the thought—that likening Ira to the holiest of martyrs felt like giving up. Giving into what she suspected everyone else already thought inevitable. After the first night she had stopped fearing the worst. There would have been no missing the uproar in the city. Her fears were simpler: how much blood there might be, how many times Ira would wake in the night. But unless the wailing rose high enough to shake the temple down, the sixth wall of Ivander stood, and Lucia sat at home with the spinning and waited.

december

and… would you look at that, more godsong. i did write non-godsong things this year! but most of them are short stories i'm hoping to send out for publication, so i'm not keen on sharing yet. this, however, is literally a godsong x hadestown AU that i’ve been calling spadestown, and if i ever finish it i Will be posting it here. in a beautiful alternate world, godsong is an annaspades romcom. (it's not even that in this AU.)

Lying on the bed watching Anna write, Spades said, “You know xim. The queen.” Not an accusation, exactly. But a search for solid ground, an escape from the ice shifting under her. At the desk, Anna tapped the end of his pen against his lips. Distracting lips, unfairly plush. “Yes,” he said after an absent moment. “It is—natural. Xe returns every summer.” “Only here?” “As far back as I remember.” Anna blinked; Spades watched it sink in. “But not where you come from.” Spades shrugged. There were gods where she had come from, too. Not the sort one poured drinks for. “I suppose we can’t all be holy,” she said, reaching out across the narrow span of the room to his chair. Anna took her hand, his skin warm against hers, his pen calluses already familiar—the tip of his second finger, the inside of his third. When she closed her eyes, Ash’s grin flashed behind her lids. Xe must have known who she was. Gods always knew. “Sing it again,” she said, patting the bed beside her. Anna was staring at the page. He hummed another bar under his breath. Spades thought she might have to get up, to close the journal for him, to slip the pen from his hands and kiss him and hope he kissed back instead of dreaming louder. Then Anna said, “Sing what?” Spades tipped his chair back to hear him yelp. “What do you think, dipshit?” “My song?” Anna said, and there was his little winking smile. “Or our wedding hymn?” There was only one bed in the attic room, so they slept curled together. Invariably Spades woke with silky hair in her mouth. Not bad, she figured, for a night always warm.

and that's a wrap! i know i didn't post much this year, but i'm still hard at work at various odds and ends. thank you for sticking around, and i hope everyone reading this has a wonderful 2024!

#max.txt #max actually writes #year in review #okay tags time innit.#godsong tag #anna ivtouched #ichari felidore #sascha armindale #ambergris armindale #jonquilla armindale #julienne carron #ash pyrris #hellenira ivtouched #lucia tag #< poor girl doesn't have a last name yet. that's on me #cinquedea spades

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prydainroyals · 6 months

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[MEANWHILE...]

[PRYDAINIAN ROYAL NAVAL RESEARCH BASE, CABOT SOUND, ARCTIC CIRCLE]

LATE JANUARY, 202[X]--

Arthur had lost track of time.

One of his more difficult habits was his ability to hyperfocus on one thing to the exclusion of all others. This had led to an overreliance on caffeinated beverages and a color-coded system of physical and digital reminders to get through his school years and now, through adult life. This ability was excellent when he could harnass it to accomplish things that most of society might argue were "productive," but the problem was that he could not always harness it; and the hyperfocus could come and go in any direction like the wind.

This instance he'd been lucky, and had caught up on a number of reports--but the hour was getting late, so he slipped from the laboratory shed back into the research barracks with every intention of getting a bite to eat before heading to bed.

It was then that he stumbled across Captain James Walker Murray, the base's second-in-command, hovering by a heater, apparently lost in thought. Although he'd wanted to speak to Murray, Arthur thought better of it. it was late, so... not wanting to interrupt the man, Arthur turned to take his leave in silence, when suddenly--

"Lieutenant!" Murray cheerfully exclaimed, waving Arthur over to him. Arthur froze as if he'd been caught sneaking about by one of his parents. Snow was already melting off his shoulders and hair and he suppressed a shiver, wanting to shake away the residual biting cold from the Arctic winter outside.

"U-uh, Sir-"

"I was thinking you'd already bunked down for the evening. What's kept you up at this hour?" Murray waved Arthur over once more as he settled down comfortably onto one of the couches.

Arthur shuffled over to the Captain and sat next to him, silently appreciating the warmth of the communal area's heating and, in particular, that of the heater nearby.

"Everything alright?" Murray inquired curiously, now seemingly aware that there indeed was something on Arthur's mind; though he was not at all surprised, apparently.

"I'm... uh... I dunno if it's... really anything, Sir, I'm fine--"

Murray smiled warmly, encouragingly, at Arthur. There was a sense of.. was that... nostalgia? It was nostalgia and sympathy in the Captain's eyes.

"Take a breath, Arthur. I mean it," he advised. "It's too late to be worried about propriety, and too deep into winter not to be sharing what's eating you."

Arthur... really could not say "no" to such a friendly and encouraging offer.

"Of course, Sir. It's just... I've had a lot on my mind lately. I mean, about... everything! My future, as King, and... that sort of thing," Arthur admitted rather uncomfortably. Discussing uncertainty was one thing, was bad enough, but discussing uncertainty about his own role as the monarch? He had always been taught that this was out of the question.

But... things like that... seemed to matter less, there in the middle of Frozen Fuck-All Nowhere.

"Like... what if I cock it up? Let the entire United Kingdom and all our allies down because I say the wrong thing at the wrong time? What if I can't do anything good, and I'm just--a laughingstock? What if nothing I do matters? I--" he huffed. "It's stupid, it's all silly," he hurriedly added.

"'Ooh, he's worried about being the King! Poor diddums in his posh palace with all his servants and money!' Yeah, I get it. First world problems, I know."

"So what you're telling me is," Murray pondered, gesturing at the air, "that you aren't allowed to have any doubts, that you must clearly be absolutely perfect because you're the Crown Prince? Bit arrogant, if you ask me."

Arthur had grown accustomed to Murray's relatively easygoing personality over the last eight months, but that had caught him off guard. He peered at the Captain to gauge just how sarcastic the man was being, but that only confused things further.

He appeared to be completely serious, and Arthur began to immediately regret his decision to join the Captain for a late night chat.

Fortunately for him, Murray elected to elaborate without prompting.

"If I ever learned anything from Catholic school that had a positive outcome on my life," he explained, "it would be that each of us has our cross to bear. Metaphorically speaking," he clarified.

"You, your father, your sister, you're all as-- as fallible and human as the rest of us commonfolk," Murray went on. "Not a one of us, in any circumstance, is absolved of... trying to work out how to... be a human being."

"You landed a better hand in this cosmic poker game than most of the planet, what of it?" Murray shrugged. "Going and... and denying your humanity by acting like you aren't allowed to have your own thoughts and feelings, just because of your status--one you did not choose, mind you--you're still separating yourself away from the rest of us."

Arthur listened to the Captain speak, and he felt his cheeks flush red with embarrassment. But he did not interrupt the man, and listened on.

"Don't go so far up your own arse that you forget your fears are as real to you as anyone else's," Murray said, knowingly nodding.

"Kings, Captains, cadets, commonfolk--we're all afraid of letting people down, being alone, and so forth. You are allowed to be human, lad."

Arthur was abruptly left in relative silence to ponder this advice, and he glanced down at his (now somewhat soggy) boots.

The seconds ticked on and with each passing moment, he had less and less heart to look over at the Captain again.

In reality, scarcely a few seconds had actually passed, and Captain Murray seemed to be content with the brief stew in which he'd just left Arthur.

"... Though when you're King, promise me you'll tell my father that we're all allowed to be human and imperfect."

Arthur glanced up at Murray, whose smile was back, albeit a bit wry now. "Your father, Sir?"

"My old man, yes," Murray snorted. "You set fire to your Gran's apron once on Christmas Eve and you never hear the end of it--!"

---

I had to break the tension somehow!

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PREV | BEGINNING | NEXT

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#c: murray #c: arthur #atff: story

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eruden-writes · 4 months

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Ringing out 2023

I wanted to visually see all the things I accomplished this year, since it's been a little on the rougher side for me.

⭐⭐Most - not all - of the content for these particular titles can be found at Eruden Archives, here on tumblr. ⭐⭐

Lights, Camera, Orc-tion! (Kahdreg x Avicia)

Self-published as two books then as a 2-in-1 duology in ebook and paperback!

Teeth (Maktov x Thalia)

Self-published as a novella with two erotic short stories, in ebook and paperback

The Unexpected Human Problem (Tai'dqei x Rayelle)

Completed in January 2023

Went through edit and revisions most of the year

Is being submitted to publishers and literary agents

The All-Hearts Festival

Started and completed in February 2023

Going through edits and revisions for self-publication

Has some art

Room and Board (Tabaeus)

Five updates in 2023

Desperation's Summit (Rakash x Cordelia)

One update 😖

Strictly Pleasure (Jek x Heidi)

Started in July 2023

11 updates!!!

Plus some art

Scent Match (Augustine x Amber)

Started in March 2023

9 updates!!!

Some art as well

Feed the Fever (Cyd x Mara)

Started in November 2023

2 updates

Misc Projects

Various bits of art concerning Obe / Fae Courts / Faebrikins

Cranky x Stowaway art - From "Dancing" on down.

Part took of Monster March a little

. . . . . . . . .

I'm frustrated with how little I feel I've gotten done this year. Looking at this makes me feel a little more accomplished, but I didn't market my books like I wanted to or stay on top of self-publishing. I had plans to start going to conventions or writers events or maybe even orchestrating local signings.

A lot of my productive hiccups have to do with current family court litigation and we'll still be in the throes of litigation come the beginning of 2024.

However! Hopefully some machinations for the New Year will give me a creative boost for 2024.

I hope your 2023 treated you all well and I hope your 2024 is phenomenal!

#goodbye 2023 #end of the year #hello 2024 #happy new year #personal progress #writerscommunity #exo writing #monster fucker #exophilia

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theold-ultraviolence · 3 months

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God, I’ve feeling so depressed lately and I just saw that, a production program I was part of in 2021 organized an exhibit with the participants and they didn’t invite me to it. And then I send applications for several calls for programs and exhibits and I haven’t been accepted into one. My art has been halted because of everything that’s happened in life recently but that just makes me even more depressed. I can’t get ahead on my art because I don’t have time between work, master’s and family problems. But I feel like a total nobody now, when once I used to be on top of my game and was very sought out, and had a lot of opportunities coming my way. I feel like I’m so stuck and like I can’t get out of this. I wonder when I’ll start to feel like myself again, or when I’ll start feeling happy again. I’m an artist, a photographer. And I’m losing who I am, and that’s a big part of my identity, that’s my career.

Man, I don’t know if it’s because January is always tough, but. I haven’t felt genuinely happy in a while. And i’m just exhausted. I feel so lost

Maybe I’m just being dramatic about me seeing about that exhibition, but it stung hard.

#just me venting as usual

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achilleanfemme · 11 months

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Resisting DSA's Culture of Disposability to Win the World we Deserve.

It’s National Convention season in the Democratic Socialists of America (DSA), the time when every caucus with 20 members and a twitter account pulls out the knives and the slander to win over the majority of delegates at the National Convention to their positions... only to have them promptly ignored. Accusations of bullying, harassment, targeted destruction of caucus literature are par-for-the-course if you want to be given the blessing of joining DSA’s National Political Committee (NPC) and have half the organization immediately hate you.

Obviously, I am being hyperbolic, but a nugget of truth resides here: DSA has an organizational culture problem. Many of our members enter into a democratically-run, working-class political organization for the first time when they join DSA, and when they do, they bring the trappings of our oppressive, exploitative, and hyper-individualistic capitalist society with them. We come to DSA with our axes-of-oppression and axes-of-privilege along with us: those of gender, race, class, disability, neurotype, sexuality, nationality, language, etc. We come to DSA with our past wounds and the harms that we ourselves have carried out, knowingly or unknowingly. Democracy is always hard because building and exercising collective power requires trusting others. The vast majority of people who come to the Left come to our side battered, belittled, and betrayed by our imperialist-white supremacist-capitalist-patriarchy and how it manifests in our day-to-day lives and interactions. Therefore, when we are wounded by someone, or someone’s, inside of our organization, we respond to that harm in the same ways that we are taught to respond to that harm in our dominant culture—in ways that dehumanize, violate, punish, belittle, shame, harm, and cage. This organizational culture of disposability cannot stand if we want our organization to persist, grow, and win.

I have been involved in my fair share of conflicts since I joined DSA in January 2017. Freshly 20 years old and full of revolutionary fervor, I was a queer kid who’d spent the better part of the previous 5 years being abused by adults in my community and my family-of-origin for being honest about who I was. I had no idea how the legacy of those very fresh inflictions of pain and isolation would manifest in my body-mind and in my relationships. Zero. I did not grow up in a home environment that encouraged emotional maturity and productive conflict. So, I did the best I could to cope and hurt a few people along the way, in my personal and organizational life. I have over-reacted and called people out on Twitter. I have gossiped about minor disagreements instead of approaching my comrade directly. I have guarded my heart from the pain of losing a difficult political fight by pointing fingers at the people organizing closest to me. I am sure that many of you have done similar things. These antisocial behaviors have never gotten me any closer to what I have ultimately wanted, which is personal healing, genuine connection, and the joy that comes from solidarity and collective action. They have lost me more than a few close relationships. They have soured promising organizing efforts. They have made me feel helpless and alone.

I have also experienced harm at the hands of people in DSA, sometimes immense harm that has lost me jobs, caused me mental anguish, and encouraged the darkest whispers in the back of my mind to grow louder. I am sure a lot of people in the organization have experienced these things too, and it sucks. I am sorry. There is no excuse. You deserved better and more. I deserved better and more, too. Ultimately, as I have moved between moments of movement activity and moments of personal rest, healing, and growth over my years in DSA, I have come to the conclusion that I am in this fight for the rest of my life. I am not, however, comfortable resigning myself to an organizational reality that our commitment to abolitionist principles of solidarity, anti-carcerality, universal dignity, and reciprocal care simply stops inside our general meetings, slack channels, signal groups, and comrade-to-comrade relationships.

Practically this means that mandatory censure, suspensions, and organizational expulsions (including de facto expulsions), cannot be entered into without democratic oversight and under the most extreme circumstances of harm. It means that when you sign-up to join DSA that you are committing yourself to practicing transformative justice and swear to respect the rights and dignity of every person in the organization, including those you do not personally like or politically disagree with, as long as they are willing to do the same. It means committing to the work of processing your own pain and refusing to project your past onto others. It means swallowing your ego and admitting when you are wrong or you have made a mistake. It means that when you inevitably fall short of these principles, that you agree to doing the hard thing, having the tough conversations, attending the restorative circle, learning about the importance of believing that none of your comrades are disposable, and committing yourself to furthering the work of solidarity and liberation. If all of us do not do this, if we give in to the forces (state-sanctioned, societal, and personal) that seek to pit us against one another and tear our organization down (as has happened many times before on the Left in the USA and abroad) then we lose.

Today, I invite you to lay down old grievances, dust out your mental cupboards of resentment, and recommit yourself to the work of reciprocal care, of loving your comrades more than you love being right, of embracing the blessing that is leaving that message or email in your drafts until you’ve had more time to reflect, of solidarity and liberation. We have a world to win after all. ------------------------------

Much of this essay was inspired by the work and words of the amazing folks who created or participated in the following pieces of media, please support them!

https://truthout.org/audio/to-transform-conflict-in-movements-we-must-learn-how-to-stay-in-it-together/

https://www.haymarketbooks.org/books/1922-let-this-radicalize-you

https://www.amazon.com/Break-Every-Yoke-Religion-Abolition/dp/0190949155

https://www.haymarketbooks.org/books/1108-how-we-get-free

https://www.amazon.com/Abolition-Feminism-Now-Abolitionist-Papers/dp/1642592587/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1686951405&sr=1-1

#DSA #Democratic Socialist #democratic socialists of america #socialism #abolition #care #mental health #collective action #solidarity #queer #leftist #left politics

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cindylouwho-2 · 3 months

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RECENT ECOMMERCE NEWS (INCLUDING ETSY), January 2024

Welcome to my first commerce news update of 2024!

Now that we are through the intensity of the holiday rush, I plan on getting a few of these out each month. Please follow me on Bluesky or on LinkedIn if you want more timely updates. (New ways to get updates coming soon!)

TOP NEWS & ARTICLES

Some Etsy listings now have a link which displays some shop owners' names and home addresses under the seller contact info, which says “Meet your seller”. This may be legally required in some jurisdictions, including within the US if you don’t have a proper location on your shop, but here is how to remove it if you don’t need it. Here’s some of the info on the US INFORM Act which could require disclosure of your information; the EU and UK are other jurisdictions which sometimes may require this info if you sell to them.

Reminder that UK small sellers may end up having their taxable income reported by the platforms they sell on starting for 2024. “The first deadline for firms to report details of transactions is the end of January 2025 – a year after the rules come into force. Bank account details and the cost of transactions made by sellers with sizable trading activity must be reported.” Etsy reminded shop owners that there is no change in taxes owed in the UK; the changes force platforms to report income so that people can’t evade taxes as easily.

In case you missed it, many USPS rates, as well as forever stamps, went up again on January 21. Some label services such as eBay may actually offer decreases in certain categories, however.

ETSY NEWS

Etsy announced 2 (very different) “privacy” changes at the beginning of January: limiting some third-party apps from receiving buyer email addresses, and making the Etsy forum a seller-only site in the near future. Shops will have to log in to read anything other than Announcements and the Technical Issues sections. We are not yet sure if this applies to shops in long-term vacation mode.

Etsy teased a promotional announcement on Jan. 16, which is likely that the site will be launching Gift Mode [post by me with a link to another post with screenshots]. I’ll write more on that once it is officially released, but here is one of my screenshots from today, with lots of infringement. Also, the site is apparently buying a Super Bowl ad. This year’s ads are expected to cost at least $7 million USD. Etsy forum thread discussing both topics here.

Etsy chose not to respond to this article about AI art sold as indigenous creations. “Etsy has a policy that prohibits users from selling items falsely listed as being produced by Indigenous peoples — but only in Northern America, and allows “Indigenous-style” products by non-Indigenous people.”

Some shop owners from Turkey claim their shops are being shut down at a high rate, with no explanation. At least some had issues with items that cannot be sold on Etsy, and there appeared to be some with ID or financial anomalies. I am still interested in hearing more, if anyone knows anything.

EcommerceBytes covered the Etsy problems with the domestic pricing tool charging some international buyers domestic prices, which have been going on since May 2023. While some sellers have managed to get refunds from the company, others report no such luck.

ECOMMERCE NEWS (minus social media)

General

The Indie Sellers Guild is running a virtual convention in April; read the panel ideas here.

Amazon

Amazon product pages now have a link to get AI-answers to your questions. Expect to see a lot more of this on many types of sites.

There are several keyword tools that can help you optimize your Amazon products; 5 are discussed here, but note that some may be pricy.

The latest layoffs at Amazon include people working for the “Buy with Prime” department.

Amazon’s difficult-to-navigate system for suspensions and other punishments has led to entire law firms dedicated to supporting shops that have been closed or have had listings removed.

BigCommerce

BigCommerce sites can now have a marketplace component, meaning that a single business site can now have other sellers on it.

eBay

eBay had to pay $3 million over its behaviour in the cyberstalking case against Ina and David Steiner, owners of EcommerceBytes. The Steiners issued a victim impact statement; the civil lawsuit in this matter goes to trial in March 2025.

eBay’s discounted Tracked Packet rate from Canada Post has been extended to March 31, 2024.

Buyers and sellers are getting annoyed with long delays in product authentication.

eBay called a few sellers and pushed them to offer cheaper shipping rates, based on the discounted rates for eBay’s labels. (They seem to have forgotten that they charge fees on those shipping rates.)

Poshmark

Poshmark’s recent policy changes included a class action waiver. Changes are effective February 5.

All Other Marketplaces

Depop released its first Trends Report, similar to those put out by its parent company, Etsy.

Bonanza is introducing a combo website builder/inventory integration and accounting platform called Vercado. Price will be $99 a month, so I strongly suggest investigating what - if any - advantages it provides over its competitors.

Payment Processing

PayPal and Venmo are teasing some big ecommerce plans for this year, to be announced on Jan. 25. It involves use of AI, and the possibility of improving engagement rates.

Shipping

There have been numerous reports of major USPS shipping delays, especially in Texas.

#ecommerce #etsy #microbusiness #EtsySellerNews #EtsyNews #ebay #amazon #CindyLouWho2

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elmnts-of-art · 3 months

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update #1 - january 23, 2024

1. whatʻs been happening over the past 2 weeks?

over the past two weeks, i’ve been developing my workback plan and solidifying most of the details for my project. things like determining what kind of content to post, when to post, what kind of research i’ll need to conduct before starting the self-study, and gathering inspiration for a consistent brand style. i also caught a slight cold during this time so it made it a little difficult to focus on this project but i’m feeling a lot better now!

2. whatʻs coming up for the next 2 weeks?

in the next two weeks, i plan on getting a majority of my research on the different elements of art done so i can start the actual practice studies soon after. i also want to create templates for some of my posts so i don’t have to make completely new graphics for each post and so a consistent branded style can be carried throughout the whole campaign.

3. hiccups/hurdles/AHA moments

getting sick was definitely not part of the plan so that was a bit of a hiccup, but i also had an ‘aha’ moment! for a while now, i’ve been struggling to come up with a good way to measure the success of my project besides just seeing ‘improvement’ in my own art. i was also having a hard time thinking of how to engage with my audience on instagram besides the general social media engagement stats (likes, comments, views, etc). i realized that i could solve both problems by creating polls to ask my audience how accurate my depiction of a subject is when utilizing different elements of art. this way, i can test how effectively i’m using each element to portray a specific subject and meaningfully engage with my audience too. there are still a few details i need to smooth out, but i’m starting to see the big picture form!

4. any deliverable drafts to share?

unfortunately, i don’t have any deliverable drafts to share since everything is still very much in the pre-production phase, but i do have a few screenshots of my workback plan! see below.

5. visual documentation of the progress. (please upload screenshots, WIP videos, etc.)

the first picture is my general overview/timeline of my project and the second picture lays out all the assets i believe i’ll need to post.

6. where you are on your timeline?

i’m finished with the majority of my workback plan and i’ve set up my social media accounts so now i’m getting into the research part of my timeline! excited to finally dive into the meat of my project and then get to drawing!

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kylesvariouslistsandstuff · 4 months

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I don't believe it...

B.O.O.: BUREAU OF OTHERWORLDLY OPERATIONS was in production at DreamWorks around 2012-early 2015. The movie was, for the longest time, set to debut some time in 2015. It fluctuated a bit, until settling on a June 5th bow...

However, DreamWorks ran into a lot of problems in the days before they were owned by a massive conglomerate (Comcast, of course)...

They absolutely needed their ridiculously-expensive animated features to do well in order to keep them afloat. For a few years, they had an uninterrupted hit streak at the box office (from KUNG FU PANDA in mid-2008 to MADAGASCAR 3 in mid-2012, a good four year run with nine movies) and all seemed well... But RISE OF THE GUARDIANS didn't meet their expectations when it wrapped up its leggy run in early 2013, it was deemed a big ol' flop, 350+ staffers were laid off, and the film ME AND MY SHADOW was cancelled and later morphed into SHADOWS... Which didn't seem to go forward thereafter.

Then TURBO lost money in 2013, MR. PEABODY & SHERMAN lost money in early 2014, HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON 2 stayed flat domestically, and PENGUINS OF MADAGASCAR was fall guyed - I guess - for not making typical MADAGASCAR numbers. ($500m+ region.) DreamWorks had a very bad week in January 2015... When the executives shuttered sister studio Pacific Data Images, put 500+ people out of work, and severely cut down on the movies they were making. B.O.O. was one of those movies, and it was **near done**. Merchandise... Merchandise! Was made and sold for this thing! The stuff is out there in the wild. The DRAWING FOR NOTHING book, its compiler the account that tweeted this detail, has a whole section dedicated to the unfinished movie.

And DreamWorks execs just... Cancelled it. It was said to have had story problems, but instead, DreamWorks decided to lose $100m on it *and* proceeded to lose more money by cancelling a picture called BOLLYWOOD SUPERSTAR MONKEY. A much different PUSS IN BOOTS 2 was removed from the boards, and so was MADAGASCAR 4. These movies all would've been released before 2019, if all had gone according to plan.

So... This has to be a typo, because we know that DreamWorks already has three pictures lined up for this year:

KUNG FU PANDA 4 is out in two months, its trailer available to view. THE WILD ROBOT follows in September. ORION AND THE DARK releases on Netflix in a month... Four features from DreamWorks would seem rather... Ermmm... Exhausting for the animators? And a lot for Universal and Netflix to market?

So... B.O.O. coming out this year seems like a pipe dream. How much of it was left to finish back in 2015 anyways? If someone wanted to finish it? I'd imagine the newly-created scenes would kinda jar with the 2014/15-era scenes in terms of technological progression and such.

But... How does one of the trades make an error like that? If it is indeed one... (I'm sure it is.)

It would be the most surreal thing, though, if DreamWorks randomly decided to finish this movie some decade later and release it.

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reasoningdaily · 7 months

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Early risers get a lot of good press: They are supposedly more productive and possibly better problem solvers. But after a month of forcing myself out of bed at 5 a.m., I learned that getting up early isn’t always the best thing for you.

I’m a morning person, and most days I’m out of bed by 5:45 a.m. I usually have 15 minutes before the rest of my household starts to wake, and I use this time to enjoy a cup of tea as well as the stillness of the morning. I look forward to this time so much that I wondered, What would happen if I expanded the 15 minutes to an hour?

While it was a nice thought, getting up at 5 a.m. was harder than I expected. My alarm went off a mere 45 minutes earlier than normal, but I had to drag myself out of bed. With no plan other than tea and stillness, I quickly learned that an hour is too long. The second day I decided to meditate, a practice I’ve wanted to do but never seemed to have the time for. Unfortunately, I fell asleep in my chair. Eventually, I took out a piece of paper and did a brain dump of all the things I wanted to get done in January–at least I had a plan.

As the month went on, I used the time to get a head start on work, but by 9 p.m., I was exhausted and would head to bed. That meant I lost out on evening time with my husband and son.

Why was 5 a.m. so much harder than 5:45 a.m.?

Forty-five minutes can make a huge difference, says Damon Raskin, MD, a sleep expert affiliated with Concierge Choice Physicians in Pacific Palisades, California. “We get our deep restorative sleep in the early-morning waking hours when REM sleep occurs,” he says. “If you shorten that, you are going to feel unrefreshed, and you’re not going to have enough sleep.”

A Better Way to Get Up Early

Turns out that simply adjusting your alarm clock isn’t the best way to make a long-term change. Instead, understand that your brain is always looking for patterns, says Shawn Stevenson, author of Sleep Smarter: 21 Proven Tips to Sleep Your Way to a Better Body, Better Health and Bigger Success.

“Your body clock, or circadian rhythm, governs how your body is in sync with all of life, and when you make a shift in that, there will be residual fallout,” he says. “By waking up 45 minutes earlier, you proactively created at-home jet lag. If you keep pressing it for several days, your body will eventually sort itself out, but there is a more graceful way to do it.”

“By waking up 45 minutes earlier, you proactively created at-home jet lag.”

First, withdraw from electronics at least an hour before bed, which affect the quality of your sleep. “When it comes to our health, most of us know that calories aren’t equal; 300 calories of broccoli aren’t the same for your body as 300 calories of Twinkies,” he says. “Sleep is similar, and unfortunately many today are getting Twinkie sleep, not cycling through proper brain activity because electronic devices suppress melatonin (the hormone that controls sleep cycles).”

Every hour you are exposed to blue light from a device, you suppress melatonin production for 30 minutes, says Stevenson. “You may be getting eight hours of sleep, but you will still wake up feeling exhausted,” he says.

Morning exercise will also help by regulating your cortisol levels, the hormone that gets you going in the morning, says Stevenson. “Normal cortisol rhythms spike in the morning and then gradually bottom out in the evening,” he says. “If you are changing your wake time, five minutes of exercise can help reset your rhythm. Do body-weight squats or walk around the block.”

Implementing a gradual wake time will also help. “Move your wake time up by 15 minutes and go through that for a couple of days to a week,” says Stevenson. “This is especially important if you want to establish a consistent sleep pattern.”

And not having a strong plan doesn’t help, says Stevenson. “If you don’t have a reason to get up, and your body wants to rest, forget about it,” he says. “You need something that will fill that space that is compelling.”

The Benefits of Getting Up Early

Being the proverbial “early bird” has its advantages, says Shanon Makekau, medical director of the Kaiser Permanente Sleep Lab in Hawaii.

“Morning people have been shown to be more proactive, which is linked to better job performance, career success, and higher wages, as well as more goal-oriented,” she says. “These people tend to be more in sync with the typical workday schedule, versus night owls who may be still be waking up at around lunchtime.”

Early-morning hours also tend to be more productive because there are fewer distractions. Jeremy Korst, CMO of the automated tax software provider Avalara and former general manager of the Windows 10 group at Microsoft, gets up between 3:30 and 4 a.m. for two reasons: clarity of thought during that part of the day and quiet time. He does strategic work from 4 a.m. to 6:30 a.m. that requires focus, then he works out and heads to the office.

“No one else is awake yet, and it’s quiet,” he says. “This isn’t a time for clearing my inbox; this is heads-down work time, during which I’m more productive than any other time of day. Without distraction and a bit of separation from the flurry of the prior workday, I can truly focus on important work.”

Getting up early makes Korst feel like he’s got a jumpstart on the day: “I’m in the office early, so I am already ahead of the day and the schedule a bit,” he says. “This helps as calendars are nearly always jammed–getting ahead of it is critical.”

What Happened When the 30 Days Were Over

Unfortunately, my experiment didn’t produce long-lasting results. When my month was over, I immediately returned to my normal 5:45 a.m., which felt like sleeping in. I even slept until 10 a.m. on weekend mornings–a very rare occurrence for me. I feel more productive now that I’m back to my normal routine.

“The jury is still out regarding whether or not simply shifting one’s wake time earlier is enough to garner all of the positive benefits of the early bird,” says Makekau. “It may be that one’s internal tendency toward productivity is inherent or, more importantly, is tied to the congruency between the internal sleep/wake clock and one’s external schedule. Night owls could be just as productive as long as they are allowed to work on a delayed schedule.”

#What Happened When I Forced Myself To Wake Up At 5 A.M. Every Day For A Month #sleep #rest #time #schedulding #productive #self care #sleep routines

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lindyloosims · 1 year

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Just Rambling

So I’ve been wrestling with something for a few days, and I’m still not sure what the right thing to do is. I feel like just deleting my account and leaving, but I also love coming on here and reading everyone’s posts and stories, I’m conflicted, which is why I’ve taken a break. Tumblr (Simblr) is the only social media platform I use regularly, I no longer have Twitter since Musk took over and I haven’t posted on Facebook in months but I keep it because I have a lot of my Canadian cousins on there and I don’t want to lose touch with them. The only other platform I dip in and out of is Instagram as I’ve been on it since 2010 and I kinda love it for its simplicity and (in my personal experience) the no bullshit no drama feel.

I’m in a funk, I started this new year with positive vibes and a spring in my step. I cared for my mother long before she got terminal cancer, she had mental health issues and her anxiety was a huge issue, so there was never any time for me outside of work. She died a month before I turned 40 in 2019 and I thought that after the grieving process I could start my life. Then the pandemic hit and it was 2 years of staying in and not meeting people. I lost my 14 year old labrador to general old age, my own mental health took a hit and all I had was Simblr even though I had barely any followers or notes at that time, it was escapism for me. So after three years of limbo I decided that this would be the year I would have a baby before my uterus and ovaries closed down and ceased production, I always thought that I would get married and be a mum but life dealt me different cards. I have Polycystic Ovary Syndrome and Hypothyroidism which alone they aren’t great but together they’re shit! I’ve been tracking my fertility since January and the chances of me conceiving look promising at the moment, but I lack the main ingredient...a boyfriend/husband/male love interest. That’s my own personal problem but the one thing that I wrestle with on a daily basis is this; is it fair to bring a child into this world the way it is now? Is it selfish? Am I too old? These three questions boil down to one thing, should I even try to have a baby, and the truth is that I don’t know. All I know is that from an early age I always wanted a husband and children, I just lived in a small community where the pick of men wasn’t great, and let’s face it who would be able to deal with my life where my mother came first all the time? This is something I need to think long and hard about, but I know I’ll make the right choices for me and for any potential future child that I may or may not have.

So the reason I toy with leaving Simblr is because sometimes, like real life, I feel like a misfit/outsider and that I don’t fit in. I’ve felt this all of my life, I had a lovely bunch of friends and followers in The Sims 3 community, but haven’t really managed to find my place within The Sims 4 community. I’m just rambling, have the winter blues and I will likely get over it, but this is how I feel at this moment so...who knows what’s around the corner.

Anyway, life’s a strange thing!

#nonsims #non sims #LJ rambles #just me getting my thoughts out #hopefully I'll get over this

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writethelifeyouwant · 1 year

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2022 Writing Wrapped

Wow. What a year.

2022 has been a fucking ride, honestly more bumpy than smooth for me, but it’s had some amazing high points and almost all of them are connected to this website and my amazing community of readers. I’m lucky to call so many of you my friends and please know that I wouldn’t be here or be the person I am today without the love and support of each and every one of you. I’ve gained a whopping 300 more followers on Tumblr this year, putting me at over 1,300, and the number of my amazing website members has held steady and picked up a few new faces as well, so thank you all for sticking through this year with me, and thank you to all the new faces!

On my website, the most popular story was:

This was a surprise! Despite this being an older story (posted in May 2021), this page was the 4th most viewed on my website in 2022! It only got beat by the Homepage, the M&C page, and the Post Library 🤯 I guess we all needed to fantasise about Sam making us blackout orgasm high this year! (Honestly, same).

Your favourite new story was:

I’m so so glad that I got to write this series this year. I’ve had the idea for ages and it was great to finally get it down on paper. The twists and turns made it so fun to drip feed to all of you week over week, and I hope you didn’t hate me by the end of it 😆 I also owe a massive thank you to my beta, Jen @jld71, who was a fantastic resource and friend throughout this whole process, and the story wouldn’t be what it became without her!

My favourite thing I wrote was:

This mini series was so much fun to write! I had a great time exploring these characters and writing for Walker / Duke was a really interesting challenge. I also loved the Reader character in this fic, she’s the kind of woman I wish I could be. Total badass, confident in herself and her goals, but still completely susceptible to the charms of one Jared Padalecki – had to keep it realistic 😂 This story was a member exclusive, so if you'd like to read it, go visit my website!

2023 - What's Next?

I’ve got some really exciting stories I’m working on for 2023 that I think you’re all going to love! My posting schedule over the past few months has been pretty erratic–I’m sure you’ve noticed–and it’s one of my aims to set more achievable targets for myself this year so I don’t stress myself out and create problems where there are none. I obviously did not hit the target I set for myself in January of writing 50,000 words a month. Unfortunately, life and my mental health got in the way, as they always have a habit of doing, but I’m still really proud of how much I did manage to write this year! I still managed to write 70,000 more words than I did last year, and 370,000 words is basically 4 whole novels!

The other reason I am reducing my posting schedule in 2023 is that I officially launched my new small business–Bite Me Nail Art–in October this year and I am working on growing this dream full-time! Now that I’m balancing two small businesses that I run entirely by myself, I need to work smarter and put a lot of effort in behind the scenes doing planning, site maintenance, and promotion on top of the actual content creation and product production, which is the part that all of you see. So, this year I’m planning to keep my posting to twice a week so I can make sure the content you’re getting is still of the quality you’re expecting and something I’m happy to be putting my name on.

Tuesdays will remain my series update days, and mini-series and one-shots will post on Saturdays. The next series coming up will be:

There are going to be a few changes to my website tiers as well but I'll make a separate post about that!

And with that… Happy New Year! I hope everyone has a great night and next year gives you a chance to write the life you want to live.

#2022 wrapped #2022 #2023 #writethelifeyouwant #writing stats #word count #wordpress #website

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ava-does-dumbassery · 1 year

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I posted 12,653 times in 2022

That's 12,504 more posts than 2021!

989 posts created (8%)

11,664 posts reblogged (92%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@hydepotions

@scribe-ciphernaught

@mist-the-wannabe-linguist

I tagged 4,387 of my posts in 2022

#dracula - 1,206 posts

#ava has thoughts - 672 posts

#frankenstein - 404 posts

#rm renfield - 353 posts

#fav - 272 posts

#jonathan harker - 229 posts

#jack seward - 226 posts

#victor frankenstein - 210 posts

#dracula daily - 207 posts

#count dracula - 197 posts

Longest Tag: 126 characters

#💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚!!!!💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚

My Top Posts in 2022:

Imagine if Mina and Renfield figured out Dracula was in the house together and they teamed up to stop him. And then the next time the suitors + Van Helsing + Jonathan get back from breaking and entering, Mina’s like “Hey guys, we got him!” And they come in the house to see Mina and Renfield both absolutely covered in blood, and Mina holding a big butterfly net ringed in garlic flowers, inside of which is a very pissed off Batcula.

294 notes - Posted October 1, 2022

Petition to transfer Basil Hallward to a book with less assholes in it.

324 notes - Posted January 6, 2022

Hey, heads up, the next Dracula Daily entry (tomorrow, the 17th) contains more racist stereotypes of Romani people, and also of Slovak people. If anyone wants to skip that but still know what happens in the book, here’s a quick summary:

Jonathan sees some people drive up to the castle with wagons behind them. Jonathan runs down to the main hall, thinking that it will be opened because of the wagon drivers, but finds that the door is locked from the outside. Jonathan tries to call to the drivers for help but they don’t listen. Some large, heavy, empty crates are unloaded from the wagons, and then they drive off.

747 notes - Posted June 16, 2022

Ranking gothic lit characters by the things they do instead of sleeping

(Note: This post is a joke, and maintaining a healthy sleep schedule is important)

11. Dracula: Being the worst

10. Robert Walton: Writing down everything Victor Frankenstein says

9. The Phantom (Erik): Stalking people, causing problems, working on an opera (Unrealistic, people are not actually productive when they stay up)

8. Jack Seward: His work (lame cause he’s bad at it), ignoring his emotions (realistic)

7. Utterson: Tracking down Edward Hyde (exciting)

6. Dorian Gray: Staring at his portrait (relatable, but lame), sinning (cool)

5. Griffin: Experiencing the consequences of his actions (relatable)

4. Johnathan Harker: Worrying about the vampires that are trying to eat him (exciting)

3. Adam Frankenstein: Reading Paradise Lost (cool), setting fires (fun!), starving in the woods (tragic)

2. Dr. Jekyll: Violence (fun!), being Edward Hyde (funner!)

1. Victor Frankenstein: Playing god (cool), angsting (realistic)

981 notes - Posted January 16, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Idk what exactly this is, but I had a lot of fun making it

See the full post

1,172 notes - Posted January 18, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#year in review

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new-employeeamillion · 1 year

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Year Four: A Lookback

I hope you’re all slipping into safe, warm and cheerful holiday environments. It’s a time of year to gather and rejoice, no matter who you are or how you do it. I’ve got a family reunion coming up in January, so I’ll be happy with myself if I get the Shrek review and a SpongeComs out by the end of the year. But enough about the future, here’s where I think back on Year Four.

Overall, I’m very proud of the videos I put out this year. Looking back on my early SpongeBob rankings and first year of series reviews, I get a little nauseous. The music’s too loud, the screencaps vary from good to potato, and I’m not a clever clog about certain things. I’m keeping them up and I see no point in remaking them, but I hope people watching my stuff in order will hit Year Two, and see it’s a big improvement in every area.

Other than just making the reviews better, I hope every year I’m on YouTube, I do something to make my content more distinct and enjoyable. In Year Three, I created my channel logo, and in Year Five, I’m going to start reviewing movie franchises more regularly. Yes, the Shrek video will be Review 59. But there’s a lot of little things that happened throughout Year Four that I hope have paved the way for a brighter future as EmployeeAMillion, and for my Employee-keteers.

Editing

Starting with the Foster’s review, I switched from iMovie to VN as my primary editing software. iMovie is so mindnumbingly basic that I had to use Cute CUT and Videoleap as secondary editing softwares just for effects. The “Where in the World” swooping shot in my Wild Thornberrys review is impossible to achieve in iMovie by itself, but it’s possible in Cute CUT, and it’s incredibly easy in VN. I’m amazed at how much they let you use for free. Dozens of transition options, animation for photos and videos alike, blending varieties that rival Medibang Paint (which I use for photo edits instead of Photoshop, get bent Adobe). If you’re interested in video production and only have an iPad, VN is my only recommendation.

The only crippling issue I’ve noticed is that the storage capacity is very low on free, but that’s how they get you to pay for it. As for the gigabytes of content I should be backing up, I just delete them from the photo album after a while and pray to the highest heavens that someone in the Netherlands is saving my videos. If my channel gets deleted in 5 minutes……at least I’ll have the experience and resources to start over successfully.

Scheduling

During Years 2 and 3, I used a roulette wheel to pick the next show on my agenda in a linear order, starting with Dexter’s Lab. Before then, I’d just review whatever I wanted. But now I’m more cautious about overdoing a certain network or time period. For instance, in Year 3, I covered 3 NickToons in a row across 4 videos (Avatar, modern FOP and Hey Arnold!). If someone subbed to me for Cartoon Network content, I bet they must’ve felt ignored, so for Year Four, I put together a more organised agenda. I planned the year out in advance with:

-3 NickToon reivews

-3 Cartoon Network reviews

-3 Disney TVA reviews

-3 miscellanious reviews (FOX, Hub, Warner Bros., etc)

-plus the mandatory stuff, Pokémon, ponies and a retro oddity

-all with corresponding dedicated roulette wheels

Additionally, I reviewed the Nick, CN, Disney and misc stuff in a row, before moving onto the next row (in a different order based on when I finish the show, but I bet I’m boring you now.)

The point is, for Year Five, I’m avoiding a potential problem I had this year, focusing too hard on the 2000s, by splitting the rows into decades. My first NickToon and Disney reviews next year (Rugrats and Quack Pack), are for shows that premiered in the 1990s. While Billy & Mandy as we know it premiered in 2001, it’s a big part of the Cartoon Cartoons brand associated with the 90s. And hey, the pilot premiered as a sneak peak on December 27th 1999, so you could ever-so-technically consider it a 90s cartoon. But I digress.

I’ll move through the decades as the year goes on, but I’m excited to get to the 2010s, as it’s not one I’ve visited on the channel very often outside of MLP:FiM, and some the decade’s earlier shows are old enough to be getting nostalgic for animation fans. I don’t know what I’ll cover yet, but it likely won’t be the big ones like Adventure Time and Gravity Falls. I’m more interested in bringing attention to the more niche stuff with smaller fan circles for this decade.

Saturation

In the past, my channel has had a mix of formats and subseries. Year Two was full of a VS series I called “The Show Down”, mainly made to fill the void left after PieGuy and Monsters Review’s “RE-Cast” ended. But I think there’s a reason both these shows have only lasted 2 years. My big Fantastic Voyage lookback was one of the most successful videos on the channel this year, being the 2nd-most viewed behind Dan Vs. The following Show Down is still resting in triple digit viewership. So I ended the series with the Star Wars Show Down, the 21st episode, and conveniently screened it on my 21st birthday. If I’m going to do multi-episode reviews, I’m no longer going to use the Show Down branding, I’m always going to cover more than two, and I won’t make pitting them against each other the emphasis. The C.A.K.E.D. review is a good example of how episode reviews of that variety will look going forward.

But I know what you’re going to ask- What about the Clone video?

I’m still planning on releasing it in Summer, but it’s run into some scripting problems. I’ve watched episodes and written up my final drafts on them, only to scrap them completely. I can’t cover every clone episode in the world, I’m limiting myself to 50. But choosing those 50 is the tricky part. I want to cover as many shows as I can as respectfully as I can this time, but also want to balance them out with instances [clone episode of weird forgotten French show from 1994] to keep the video informative. I like that I introduced a lot of people to Microcops last time, and always hope that my reviews can create new fans of something. So top priority for the clone episode is finding random, obscure shows, which is taking longer than I hoped.

I’m reminded of when Caddicarus used to have at least 5 other recurring series at a time, and completely understand why he retired all of them due to burnout. He slowly got better at his main show after that, and since reinventing its format, he’s been my favourite YouTuber. Of all time. It’s a valuable lesson to focus on quality, and making the kind of series you’re proudest of, that I’ve taken to heart.

The Employment Line

I’m out of education. After 3 years of studying to be a 3D animator (which is where my new 3D logo came from), I’ve grown disillusioned with the currently emotionally draining 3D animation industry, down here and abroad. I didn’t like having dozens of hours of work go to waste for retakes, I didn’t like having lecturers come in to tell us we won’t have families, and I certainly didn’t like hearing about the abuse professional VFX artists on blockbuster movies have gone through in recent years. I’m happy to have met friendly people at university who were accommodating to my needs, but I needed to get out of dodge before I spend the rest of my life in a digital sweatshop.

I may never be an animator, and I’d be surprised if I ever got hired to write for an animated show, but I’m still making money doing what I love. I’ve monetised my channel and put a few ads on my two most recent videos. So far, there are no mid-roll ads, and I never plan to add any. YouTube currently pays in peanuts, but I’m working a part time café job to make some money on the side. Next year, I hope to start working at the café full time.

I hardly share much about my personal life, but I thought you ought to know why there’s a higher chance of seeing ads on my newer videos than my older ones. I don’t do YouTube for a living, but I want it to be worth something.

TL:DR

VN rocks, I’ve improved my release order, slightly streamlined the content, and put the least annoying ads I could on the newest videos. This is the 4th day of Christmas, right? Well, if your true love is loaded and sends you the same things as every year, remember to give those calling birds a good home again.

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cuppatea87 · 3 months

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January Empties.

I swear January feels longer than 31 days! It just feels like it lasts for far longer than it actually is & this is probably not helped by the amount of my empties this month. There's a lot more than normal!

So without rabbiting on for much longer, I'll start talking about the products. There is also the Elf eye primer empty in that photo, but I've already mentioned it in a previous post so I won't be mentioning it in this post.

Bonnyhill Niacinamide Serum:

I picked this up by accident in TK Maxx when I had finished my previous niacinamide serum. I tend to prefer the ones with added zinc due to me having oily skin. It does make my skin super soft but it is super tacky before applying it. If it had zinc in it I would definetly get it again.

Bayliss & Harding Goodness Sandalwood & Rich Vanilla Shower Gel:

I loved this so much! It smells absolutely gorgeous & it has a very warming scent. It foams well & I loved using it. I would 100% get this again!

Barry M That's How I Roll Waterproof Mascara:

I'm a huge Barry M fan- I especially love their lipsticks & nail varnishes. This however...it's decent. It has a curved brush to curl your lashes but it never did that with mine.

Barry M Pineapple Lip Scrub:

This is very messy! It reminds me of the lip scrubs by Lush but at a fraction of the price. It tastes good as well.

We Love Lip Balm:

This is a pretty good lip balm. I struggle finding a lip balm that leaves my lips soft, but this did it. My main problem is its in a cardboard tube which gets soggy around the edges from using this lipbalm, but it's not much of a complaint & I can understand why they used cardboard (so you can pop the tube into the recycling bin after use).

Collection Mattifying Makeup Fixing Spray:

I got this due to not being able to find the Barry M one. The positives are that it's got a good spray & it keeps your makeup on. However, it smells strongly of hairspray & it seems to have 2 different types of alcohol in it according to the ingredient list. I wouldn't buy it again for those two negatives.

Dr Organic Rose Otto Cleansing Lotion:

I've been using this for years & I was absolutely gutted that I went into my local Holland & Barrett & found out it had been discontinued. However, I saw that my local TK Maxx had it & I got two bottles of it. I love this- it smells absolutely divine (it has a rose scent) & it has a very luxurious feeling.

Ciroa Body Sugar Body Scrub:

I'll be overly honest- I wasn't keen on this. I thought it might foam (it didn't) & the scent was very light. It was gentler than the coffee scrub but I wouldn't get it again.

Head & Shoulders Citrus Fresh Shampoo:

This is just a standard anti-dandruff shampoo. I've found Head & Shampoo's is one of the very few shampoo's that stops my head from being itchy & scabby.

Novaclear Hydro Day Cream:

This was an absolute joy to use! It has a very light smell which reminded me of either honeydew melon or apple & even though it says it is a day cream, it was actually more of a gel formula which felt very creamy when massaging it into my face. It's very lightweight & it comes with a little spatula. Because of how lightweight it is, it wouldn't be uncomfortable to apply SPF on top of it.

The main complaint I have is the packaging- it comes in a huge box with a tiny tub inside so it was a disappointment realising there was less inside. The packaging isn't eye-catching so its fairly easy just to not give it a second look but it is a genuinely brilliant moisturiser.

My Skin Matters Micellar Water:

This is a Sainsburys own brand micellar water & is is just a basic micellar water. It is very similar to the Garnier one but at a fraction of the price. It does claim to remove waterproof makeup, but it didn't seem to really do that.

Soap & Glory Hand Food Hand Cream:

I'm a big fan of Soap & Glory. This hand cream helps keep my hands soft & the scent of it actually reminds me of sherbet sweets even though the scent is actually Original Pink.

And that's it. There was a lot of things I used up this month. Have you ever used any of these & what were your thoughts?

Until February (which should hopefully not feel as long as January!) see you all later.

#January empties #empties #niacinamide #Bonnywell #Dr organics #soap and glory #Barry m #Mascara #skincare

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